That night they decided to stay in.
They ordered pizza and picked up some beer from a liquor store just down the street, and Archie found a movie on streaming. It was delightful, lounging on the couch in athletic shorts and oversized t-shirts, knowing they had nowhere to be, no bedtime or work shift cutting their time together short. For once, they had all night, and all morning, and all the next day, too.
Graham sunk into the couch, his feet up on the coffee table, while Archie reclined against the armrest, his legs in Graham’s lap. Graham rubbed his thigh absentmindedly, enjoying the comfortable silence between them, the simple reassurance of being in each other’s presence. It was safe and familiar, domestic, a glimpse into what life together might be like when it wasn’t grasped at in small, finite intervals. It filled Graham’s chest, like the first deep breath of air expanding his lungs after too long underwater.
As the movie ended Graham looked down at Archie. His eyes were closed and his chest rose and fell steadily. He always looked younger when he slept, and now, with his baggy shirt and tousled hair, he looked damn near angelic. It tugged at Graham’s heart, eliciting both an affection and a desire to shelter Archie from all the pain and discomfort the world could throw his way.
He couldn’t help but wonder what Archie’s life would look like after he left next week. Would he follow through on his plan to enroll in school? Or would he go back to his late nights at the bar, content to just get by? Could he juggle work and classes with no one looking out for him? Did he have people he could rely on – really rely on – when things got tough? Someone to make sure he still had food in the fridge and clean laundry in the closet? Graham didn’t know, but he hoped so. He wanted to make sure those things would happen. Hell, he’d do them himself, because, looking down at Archie in this state of perfect peacefulness, Graham knew he deserved it. He’d been on his own for too long, taken care of himself for too long. He deserved someone in his corner for a change.
“I can feel you staring,” Archie said warmly, a smile breaking out across his face.
“Sorry,” Graham said softly. “You just look peaceful when you’re sleeping.”
“Not sleeping,” he mumbled as a yawn tore through him. He stretched, his back arching, his arms raising over his head, lifting his stomach to reveal a strip of bare skin.
“Mhmm,” Graham smirked. “Sure you aren’t.”
Archie opened his eyes and stared up at him, a look of warm recognition that shattered Graham’s cynicism like a brick shatters glass.
“What?” Graham finally asked.
“Nothing,” Archie smiled. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
“I’m glad I’m here, too.”
His hand traced a line up and down Archie’s thigh, slipping under the loose cotton shorts to feel the warm skin against his hand. He pushed just an inch further up Archie’s leg with each lap, unable to resist, until he’d nearly reached the waistband.
“What?” Archie asked, seeing the expression on Graham’s face change.
“You’re not wearing any underwear.”
Archie shrugged.
“So what if I’m not?”
Graham’s hand began to trace sweeping circles, drifting between Archie’s legs until he felt the first few tufts of coarse hair. There was a twitch in the front of Archie’s shorts, a sign of his arousal readjusting itself. Graham pressed on until his hand found Archie’s swelling shaft.
They held each other’s gaze as Graham began to stroke him. He moved slowly, without urgency, enjoying the feel of Archie in his hand. Archie took a deep breath and sank further into the couch, dissolving under Graham’s touch. They continued, Graham’s hand rising and falling in a lazy indulgence until a wet spot appeared in the fabric of Archie’s shorts.
“You should take these off,” Graham said.
Archie nodded and obeyed, pulling his shirt off with them. He stretched back out, resuming his original position. Graham spat into his hand and continued.
“That feels good,” Archie mumbled warmly.
“You feel good in my hand.”
“I like it when you touch me.”
“I like it when you’re naked.”
Archie chuckled.
“Me too. I should do it more often.”
“Mmm, you should.”
Graham’s hand twisted and squeezed and swirled while Archie shifted on the cushions.
“We should move to my room,” Archie suggested, his eyes boring into Graham’s.
“Okay. And I was thinking…,” Graham paused, summoning the courage to voice idea. “Maybe tonight we could…trade places?”
Archie raised his eyebrows. Graham’s hand stilled.
“Do you want to?”
Graham nodded.
“I want to, with you.”
Something flickered deep in Archie’s eyes.
“Okay then.”
Graham splashed some cool water on his face and stared at his reflection in Archie’s bathroom mirror. His stomach danced nervously, and he could feel his heart shaking his ribcage with each heavy thud.
His first experience preparing had been a little awkward. IHe felt clumsy and uncomfortable and could only imagine what was to come next. He'd asked Archie what he needed to do, and Archie had kindly given him a walkthrough, even preparing the douche and leaving it in the shower for Graham to use. He should've felt humiliated, mortified, but Archie was so nonchalant about it, so calm and direct, he didn't want to be the one to make it weird.
Admittedly, he hadn't loved the feeling of the hard plastic nozzle entering him, even with a generous glob of lube to assist, and the feeling of the water had been off-putting. Now, in true fashion, Graham was starting to second guess this whole decision. But he took a fortifying breath, looked over his body in the mirror, and reminded himself that if he didn't do this now, it may very well never happen – he wouldn’t do this with just anyone, but he wanted to do it with Archie.
And his time was running out.
He turned out the bathroom light and walked, naked, into Archie's room. While he'd been getting ready, Archie had been doing some preparations of his own – the bedroom lamps glowed purple, casting a calming and sensual glow over the bed; a few candles burned dimly on the nightstand and dresser, filling the air with a pleasant scent; music played softly from a Bluetooth speaker, and Graham thought he recognized the seductive beats from the night of their first date.
Archie stood naked on the far side of the bed, fidgeting with one last candle.
“Wow, you really pulled out all the stops,” Graham observed.
Archie turned, a little startled. His eyes scanned up and down Graham, studying him as if seeing him again for the first time.
“Felt like the right occasion,” he said softly.
“You know how to make a fella feel special,” Graham smiled.
He also drank in the details of Archie's body, seeing it in a new light, knowing he was about to experience it in a whole new way.
“You sure you still want to do this?” Archie asked. “Cuz you can change your mind at any point, I hope you know that.”
Graham smiled and stepped further into the room, stopping at the foot of the bed.
“You sound like you don't want me to.”
“No!” Archie exclaimed, stepping closer to Graham. “No, I didn't mean that. I want to. God, I want to. I just don't want you to feel like you have to.”
Graham reached out and cupped Archie's face in his hand.
“I know I don't have to. But I want to try this. And you're the only person I'd want to try it with.”
“Okay,” Archie smiled.
Graham learned forward and kissed him gently.
“Where do you want me?”
Archie looked at the bed and furrowed his brow.
“Maybe lay on your stomach? That way you can just…relax.”
“You got it.”
Graham crawled onto the bed and settled onto the duvet. The air felt especially cool on his bare backside, as if his body was already on the alert, anticipating new sensations. He could feel Archie's eyes on him now. He waited to feel Archie crawl onto the mattress, to feel his body hovering over him, but for a minute nothing happened.
“You okay?” Graham asked over his shoulder.
“Sorry,” Archie chuckled. “I'm just realizing I don't get to see this side of you that much. I never know how fucking sexy it is.”
Graham laughed.
“Please continue the pep talk. I'm sure I'll need it.”
He felt the mattress shift as Archie climbed on, felt the air move behind him as Archie leaned down and kissed his neck. His lips moved slowly down his back, crossing his shoulder blades, following his spine, stopping at the base of his tailbone. He felt Archie’s hands on his glutes, gently massaging them before pulling them apart.
Archie dragged a finger lightly across the tight, puckered hole, sending a shiver up Graham's body. The touch was hot and electric, his skin particularly sensitive to the unfamiliar contact. He didn't know yet whether it felt strange or good; right now it only felt, which, frankly, he was not used to. Archie’s finger continued to trace over and around his hole, Graham's body twitching with each new pass. Finally his hand pulled away.
He felt cool air graze the sensitive skin, followed by warm breath, until finally a wet tongue dragged gingerly across it.
“Oh shit,” Graham muttered, his hips twitching.
“Like that?” Archie asked from behind.
“Yeah, I do.”
The feeling was surprisingly intense. Physically, the texture, the temperature, the moisture of Archie's tongue created a symphony of new sensations, which his brain raced to make sense of. Mentally, the feeling of a mouth in this most intimate place felt delightfully dirty, transgressive, taboo, arousing in the best way. He could feel his cock swell beneath him.
Archie’s tongue became more adventurous, pressing against him, encouraging him to relax, to make room. Graham focused on his breathing, letting out air in controlled exhales, willing his muscles to relax. This seemed to do the trick – on Archie's next probe, the tip of his tongue pressed between the ring of muscle and dipped inside.
Graham gasped.
Archie’s tongue felt far more pleasant than the hard plastic from moments before, warm and curious. Graham eased further into the new experience, surrendering control, letting Archie explore more boldly. His tongue pressed in and out, coating Graham's skin with moisture, gently coaxing him open. He pulled back and drew a long, wet line from Graham's perineum to the base of his tailbone. Graham moaned, feeling himself melt and soften in ways he’d never felt before, relishing the sensation of his body being so exposed, so put on display for Archie to enjoy.
And he did seem to enjoy it.
Graham heard Archie moan with delight as his tongue danced across Graham's slit, felt him moan into Graham’s body while his hands kneaded Graham's glutes, pulling them further apart.
Graham pressed himself up on his elbows and craned to look over his shoulder. He wanted to watch Archie in action, to see the lust in his eyes. He managed to twist himself, to catch sight of Archie's face disappearing into his crease. He could feel the tongue he couldn't see. Archie caught his eyes and pulled back, his mouth, glistening wet, twisted into a wicked smile.
“You taste good,” he purred.
“You feel good back there,” Graham said breathlessly.
“Yeah?” Archie cocked an eyebrow. “I'm glad you like it.”
He slipped a finger into his mouth and lowered it. Graham felt it push against him once, twice, three times before slipping inside. Its presence surprised him, solid and lean. He was shocked that a finger could feel so big, so full. Part of him feared what was to come if only a finger felt like this, but the sensations coming from inside him were too powerful to want to stop.
“Ugghhh,” Graham moaned. “Fuck.”
Leaving his finger inside, Archie leaned up and kissed Graham, his tongue dipping into Graham's mouth. Graham devoured it, dizzy with the fact it had just been inside him, his brain spinning in a delirium of hedonistic wonder. He moaned against Archie's mouth.
“I do taste good,” he growled when Archie finally pulled back.
“Fuck,” Archie chuckled in delighted surprise, his tongue dancing gracefully along Graham’s jaw. “I like this side of you.”
“Literally or figuratively,” Graham teased.
“Both,” he smirked. “Okay, try to relax now.”
He retrieved a bottle of lube from next to the bed and applied some to his fingers. He slid the first finger in – it moved much more easily this time, the extra slick making a world of difference. Then, he added a second. Graham felt the pressure in his body, as if every atom was rearranging itself to accommodate this extra presence. Again, his anxiety flared with thoughts of next steps, but they seemed to burn up instantly in the heat of his desire.
“That starting to feel okay?” Archie asked.
Graham nodded. “Yeah, I'm adjusting.”
“Good,” Archie soothed. “You’re doing great.”
Archie worked him gently, skillfully, like a masseuse working out years’ worth of pent up tension. He was already starting to feel a strange heat glowing deep within him when the fingers disappeared. He heard the sound of the lube bottle opening and snapping shut again, felt the impact of it hitting the mattress somewhere to his left.
“Okay, just tell me if you want to stop,” Archie said softly.
“I will.” He took a deep breath and let it out, willing himself to relax his whole body. He felt the tip of Archie’s cock press against him for a brief instant before it started to push inside.
The pain was brief but sharp, like the strain of muscle on a final rep at the gym, a spark between pain and pleasure, exertion and delight. Graham gripped the duvet and steadied his breath as he felt Archie slip further inside him.
Archie paused, pacing himself carefully. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Graham answered, his voice strained.
He felt Archie press forward, ever so slightly, that strange, indefinable fullness spreading into his body. Archie pressed a fraction of an inch and withdrew, then pressed another millimeter forward, allowing Graham the opportunity to accommodate the new intrusion. Gradually, steadily, the pain subsided, replaced by that strange, dull heat, like orange-gray coals burning, radiating from within.
Archie continued to press forward, until Graham was sure he'd taken at least half his length. He noticed that as his body acclimated to the sensation, the length was far less challenging than the original entry, the thickness. Once again, he marveled at Archie’s physicality, how he was so easily able to take Graham’s cock, to make it look effortless and easy, especially knowing how his own girth compared.
And in that revelation, he felt connected to Archie in a way he never had before. He replayed each of their previous nights, each time Archie had taken him with such enthusiasm and ease , and he felt grateful. He saw, suddenly, the gift of Archie’s body, the way he offered it up to Graham so freely, so vigorously. He understood, now, the trust, the surrender involved. And he was moved.
He felt Archie’s hips bones make contact with his haunches, securing their bodies together, uniting them in every way. Archie lowered down onto Graham’s back.
“Fuck” Archie breathed into his ear. “You're so tight.”
“Maybe you're just big,” Graham smirked.
“I don’t think I’m gonna last long,” Archie confessed.
Graham chuckled. “You and me both.”
Archie kissed the back of his neck as he began to rock his hips. Graham could feel every inch inside him, sliding in and out, gliding like a ship on a glassy sea. He could feel every nerve making contact with Archie's cock, sending fireworks up into the rest of his body. Sweat broke out on his forehead, and his body twitched as Archie grazed over that cluster of nerve endings hidden inside him.
“Oh my God,” he groaned. “You feel so good in there.”
“I like being inside you,” Archie growled. “I like you like this.”
“God. Archie,” Graham’s hand gripped the bedsheet, an insufficient support. “I like it, too. So much.”
And he did.
This was unlike anything he'd experienced before. This lack of control, this exposure, this vulnerability. It unlocked something inside him, something tender and raw, something vulnerable and soft and helpless. The part of him that was tired of fighting, tired of performing, tired of always being in control. The part of him that wanted to surrender, but had been waiting, quietly, patiently, for someone to grant him the permission to finally let go. He felt emotions well up from his core, mingling with the physical sensations, creating something powerful and real, something that could overwhelm him, could consume him entirely. And for once, he didn’t try to stop it.
Archie began to thrust more rapidly, though Graham could still feel his restraint. He could hear the sound of skin hitting against skin, of moans and heavy breathing in his ear. As he continued, Archie made short, high pitch noises, sounds Graham had never heard before, and he loved that his body was able to bring forth new forms of pleasure. He loved the feeling of Archie using him, loved the feeling of being used.
He felt everything at once, a contradiction of everything he thought intimacy could be. He felt protected and consumed, worshipped and defiled. He felt the overwhelming rush of doing something he’d been taught to fear, to loathe, to recoil from, something that twisted his masculinity and made him something less than. And yet, in the moment, in the heat and stretch and swell of it all, he felt himself become more. He felt his body in a way he never had before, supple and agile and strong, relishing in sensations he’d never been able to imagine. He felt the utter power, the instinct, the manliness of it all, of experiencing what only his body could in the presence of another man. And God, it was exhilarating. It was transcendent.
Archie’s arms slid under Graham's shoulders and Archie buried his face into Graham's neck as his thrusts became fervent, laced with need. Graham raised his hips, trying to bring himself closer, to bring Archie deeper inside him. With each thrust, pressure grew inside Graham, like a sound echoing from deep within a cave, its source unknown, its volume growing louder by the second.
“Oh fuck,” Graham gasped. “I think I'm gonna – you're gonna make me – oh fuck!”
He gasped as an orgasm tore through him. He felt his cock twitch as he unloaded onto Archie's duvet. His body clenched, the intensity unlike anything he'd ever felt before. His body squeezed around Archie, clenching, eliciting a mangle cry from somewhere deep and ancient within him.
“Graham, I'm gonna –” Archie gasped.
And Graham felt it – a new heat inside him as Archie spilled into his core, a strange, intense, explosive feeling that washed over him like a second wave, catching him off guard before he’d had a chance to come up for air. So he surrendered, lost in the churn and chaos of it all, until finally, the waves subsided, the water stilled, and he broke the surface again.
Archie collapsed on top of him, breathing hard. Graham pressed into the bed, unable to move, though whether this was from Archie’s weight or his own exhaustion he had no idea.
“Jesus,” Archie marveled. “Can you move? I can't move.”
Graham chuckled. “Ask me in twenty minutes.”
“Deal.”
He liked the feeling of Archie on top of him, his warm weight like that of a blanket, anchoring him down when life threatened to blow him away.
“Ugh,” Archie groaned as he rolled himself off of Graham. Graham shuddered when his cock left him, surprised by the sudden emptiness registering in his body.
With considerable effort, Graham rolled himself onto his back, his head landing on Archie’s shoulder. He felt Archie shuffle beneath him, and raised his head, feeling Archie’s arm drape around his shoulder. He nuzzled in closer, enjoying the feeling of being held.
“You okay?” Archie asked.
“Yeah,” Graham nodded. “Yeah, just processing. That was…I didn’t know exactly what to expect, but that wasn’t it.”
“In a good way or bad?”
“Good,” Graham assured him. “Let’s just say, I see the appeal.”
He felt Archie’s chest shake with laughter.
“Well, that’s good.”
They lay quietly for a moment, the chemicals coursing through their bodies, bringing them slowly back down to earth. They didn’t say much. They didn’t need to. Instead, they let this new moment of connection solidify between them, like glue drying, mending something that had been cracked.
Graham let the reality of this new milestone sink in. It was a strange thing, to feel like he’d lost his virginity again, or rather lost a new form of it, so late in life, and while the concept still felt foreign in his mind, it felt surprisingly natural in his body. He enjoyed it. Immensely. He could do it again. He’d want to. But he couldn’t imagine sharing this type of closeness, this intimacy with anyone else. Because it wasn’t just the pleasure, it wasn’t just the act. It was the attention, the tenderness, the trust. It was the two of them that made it what it was.
All this swirled around in his head, like water in a tide pool, churning and stilling with the waves, until, at some point, the current calmed, and he drifted off to sleep, Archie’s arm wrapped tightly around him.
