Friday arrived before Graham knew it.
It was frustrating, the pace at which the week had flown by. For once, Graham was actually hoping the week would drag on, that the time would pass slowly and allow him the chance to savor as many of these moments as he could. Graham tried to push these thoughts aside and enjoy the time he had, to banish thoughts about the past and worries about the future in order to fully enjoy the present, a feat as uncharacteristic as it was impressive, but even his best efforts left cracks for these anxieties to creep in. And yet, life went on – meetings were held; emails were written; Achie worked his shifts at the hotel bar. They saw each other in the afternoons, and Archie continued to visit at night after his shift, sleeping over more often than not. The moments they found to share were frequent but fleeting, and Graham found himself increasingly wanting more.
He cherished this time together, even though he knew it came at a future cost. He surrendered himself in the bedroom, feeling the full force of their intimacy; he tried to memorize every conversation so that he might later be able to replay them in his head; he’d even developed a habit of waking up early, before his alarm, just to watch Archie sleep, pretending that this peaceful, perfect moment wasn’t limited by the echoes of a ticking clock.
But he knew the truth – was buying on credit, and soon he’d have to pay the bill.
He wondered if Archie felt the same. Did he dread their upcoming goodbyes? Was he, like Graham, in complete denial of this approaching deadline? Or did he look forward to his next chapter, to school, to whatever suitor might look his way once Graham was gone and forgotten? He wanted to ask, to address the elephant in the room, but each time he tried the words lodged in his throat.
Still, the deadline lingered, and Graham did his best to make every second count.
They’d solidified dinner plans with Trey and his boyfriend at a swanky Southern restaurant downtown, and Graham found himself disproportionately nervous about the double date.
So far, all his interactions with Archie had been incredibly private. Sure, they’d gone to dinner before, and this past week they’d made it a point to meet up for an afternoon coffee, but even in their public appearance they’d been their own, isolated duo. Now, suddenly, their relationship was being acknowledged and offered up for others to observe. The idea made him uneasy. The scrutiny. The visibility. The truth was, he didn’t know what to offer because, at this point, he didn't know what their relationship was.
At first, Archie’s attraction and affection had been too unbelievable to put a label on. Their late night rendezvous had been too exciting and impulsive to analyze. But now, they were presenting themselves, it seemed, as a proper couple, which Graham might not have a problem with if he weren’t leaving in a week.
The dining room for Bubba spanned two stories in the corner suite of an old building in downtown. The exterior walls were all glass, and large chandeliers glowed warmly, their light spilling out onto the street.
Graham and Archie entered the restaurant and checked in with the hostess, who informed them that the rest of their party had already arrived. She showed them up the stairs to a table where Trey sat next to a handsome, all-American athlete type who could only be Trey’s boyfriend.
“There they are!” Trey said excitedly as he saw them reach the top of the stairs. He stood and rushed Archie, wrapping him in an enthusiastic hug while the boyfriend rose from his seat.
“And if it isn’t the famous Mr. Harris, back again!” Trey turned his attention to Graham, giving him a friendly hug.
“Hi Trey,” Graham said warmly. “It’s great to see you.”
“You too,” Trey beamed. “I was starting to worry I’d just imagined that handsome stranger who liked Missy Elliott and couldn’t dance.”
Behind him, Archie barked a laugh. Graham just smiled, amused by Trey’s playful ribbing.
“Let me introduce you to the boyfriend,” Trey continued, stepping out of the way. “Graham, this is Adam. Adam, this is Graham Harris.”
“Nice to meet you,” Graham said confidently, extending his hand.
“Likewise,” Adam echoed. His handshake was firm and, much like the rest of his appearance would suggest, strong. He was incredibly handsome, with a muscular body, thick neck, and perfectly coiffed blonde hair. A neat mustache adorned his otherwise smooth face, accentuating the square cut of his jaw. He looked like someone who should be playing in the NFL.
Trey must be a very satisfied young man, Graham thought.
“Trey told me all about the night he met you, so I was glad to hear we were getting dinner.”
“Oh great,” Graham chuckled. “I’m so glad he filled you in on my apparent lack of dancing ability.”
Adam smiled, his teeth gleaming in the restaurant light.
“I hear about everyone’s lack of dancing ability from this one, so that was hardly a noteworthy detail.”
“I can accept that,” Graham smiled.
They all took their seats and chatted jovially about their afternoons. The waitress appeared – a cheerful, heavy set woman in her forties – and greeted Graham and Archie, asking if they were ready to put in an order for drinks.
“I think so,” Adam spoke first. “I’ll do a sazerac.”
“Can I get an old fashioned?” Trey asked.
“I’ll do the same,” Archie added.
“Can I do a…” Graham began, quickly poring over the drink menu, “mint julep, please?
“Absolutely,” she smiled. “Y’all sit tight and I’ll have those right out!”
“So Graham,” Adam spoke as the waitress wandered off. “Trey says you’re in town for work?”
“Yeah,” Graham nodded. “I’m a software consultant. I’m here for a new client implementation with the university.”
Adam’s eyebrows went up.
“Wow, that sounds like a heavy lift for one person.”
“It’s been a lot, yeah. But we are a pretty niche software so thankfully the scope is manageable.”
“Still, what a gig. I’m sure you’ve been glad to find a lifeline outside of work,” he nodded towards Archie. “And you’ve been here for how long again?”
“Five weeks, going on six.”
“Sheesh,” Adam shook his head. “Brutal. Good for you for being a good sport about it.”
“It hasn’t been all bad.”
Graham looked at Archie and they both smiled, an interaction Graham knew must’ve been insufferably cute to observe.
“What do you do?” he asked, turning back to Adam.
“I’m a nurse practitioner.”
“Oh wow. Good for you.”
They talked shop for a bit while Trey and Archie looked on affectionately. Graham was surprised by Adam’s composure. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected in Trey’s boyfriend, but this hadn’t been it, though he imagined his seriousness provided a nice foil to Trey’s exuberance.
Their drinks arrived a few minutes later, and somehow, as the first sips of alcohol warmed their stomachs, the conversation shifted to stories of Adam’s crazy encounters at work.
“I swear,” he laughed. “The things people do to injure themselves is absolutely mortifying.”
“I’m just glad you’re in a calmer office now,” Trey interjected. “When this one was in the ER, we had to set rules about how much detail he could share in his work stories. Bitch almost made me pass out in the middle of dinner.”
Graham laughed, imagining that scenario.
“The rest of us do not want to hear about septic flesh wounds over cocktails and charcuterie,” Trey carried on.
Adam reached for his drink and shrugged innocently.
“I forget that’s not a normal occurrence for other people,” he grinned.
“I get that, I’ve always had a weak stomach,” Graham confessed. “Like, I remember when –” he started, but cut himself off abruptly, laughing nervously, unsure he wanted to finish the story that had just popped into his mind.
“When what?” Archie asked, grinning.
“Nevermind,” Graham waved a hand dismissively.
“No, let’s hear this,” Trey egged him on. “I don’t want gross medical stories but I will gladly accept stories of other people passing out.”
Graham felt three pairs of eyes on him, felt his neck warm as he decided whether or not to proceed.
“I was just gonna say,” he continued. “It reminds me of when my son was born. My wife was an absolute champ during the delivery but they had to bring in a wheelchair for me. I almost passed out. Twice.”
The laughter subsided.
Graham looked to Archie who offered him an encouraging smile. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly felt embarrassed by sharing this story, but somehow it felt inappropriate for the moment.
“Oh, so, you’re married?” Adam asked. It was a pointed question and yet his voice contained no trace of judgement. He asked if as if he didn’t care what the answer might be, he was only curious to know.
“I was,” Graham answered shortly. “We have a son. Eli. But no, I am not married.”
“I suppose that’s good.” Adam nodded, satisfied with the answer.
“Oh, come on guys,” Archie groaned. “You don’t have more faith in me than that?”
“I mean…” Trey made a face and sipped his old fashioned.
Adam just laughed and shook his head.
Graham looked at Archie, confused.
“I feel like there’s a story there?”
Archie grimaced. Graham looked at Trey who put his hands up in surrender.
“That’s his story to tell, babes.”
Graham looked back to Archie.
“Ugh, fine.” He took a large drink of his cocktail and let out a sigh. “I told you I’ve not always had the best judgment. Well. A couple years ago I was hooking up with this guy from Grindr and found out he was married.”
“Oh,” Graham’s eyebrows raised. “Yikes.”
“Girl, that is not the whole story,” Trey quipped.
“And then I kept seeing him even after I found out because he was very nice to me, and yes I knew it was a terrible idea and then his wife found out about it and it was a whole thing,” Archie spat out in one, long, exasperated breath.
“That’s the whole story.” Trey nodded in approval.
Graham was silent. He didn’t really know what to do with this news. Part of him was understandably scandalized. Another part was a bit offended Archie hadn’t shared this in their previous conversation about his sexual history. But mostly, he was floored by Trey and Adam’s unwavering acceptance of these events. Graham wished he’d had this type of friend in his early twenties.
And so, he laughed.
He laughed and took a sip of his julep, the ice cold liquid cutting through his discomfort and giving him the boldness to make his next joke.
“No, unfortunately my marriage ended on its own. I did not have the pleasure of sleeping with someone as gorgeous as Archie along the way.”
Trey cocked an eyebrow.
“Well, at least you got there eventually, right?”
“Trey,” Archie and Adam both scolded.
“What?” he cried incredulously. “Am I supposed to pretend I don’t know?”
“No, that’s fair,” Graham laughed. He turned to Archie and raised his glass. “Better late than never, right?”
“Shit, that is so romantic,” Trey sighed, turning to Adam. “How come you don’t have a tragic backstory?”
“I’m sorry we met when I was twenty-five! I was in school, I didn’t have time to get divorced.”
“Ugh, fine,” Trey groaned.
Meanwhile, Archie's eyes met Graham’s and a grateful smile flashed across his face. Their hands found each other under the table, just a finger interlacing, connecting them together in a way only they could feel. Graham had shown Archie some of the lowest moments of his life and had received nothing but grace and support in return; he was happy he had the chance to offer up the same, though he knew a future conversation was due.
Trey and Adam continued their banter when the waitress arrived.
“Alright, would we like to get some food started?”
“I think that would be great,” Graham smiled.
For the whole course of their meal, the conversation remained lively and engaging. There was no lack of interesting stories, no shortage of laughs. Graham even surprised himself with how comfortable he felt, how at-home and relaxed he was among this pairing of queer couples. Much like his first night out at Harry’s Hideaway, Graham felt a strange, intangible permission to dial up parts of his personality which usually remained in the background. He was playful, sarcastic, charming, funny, even a little crass, all things he would not have described himself as a few months ago. Something about the company of these three wildly different, unashamedly honest men gave Graham the freedom to think and act like he never had during his married years – he drank freely, indulged a few risque jokes, asked personal questions without fear of mockery, and even held Archie’s hand without a second’s thought of judgment from their surrounding tables.
He hardly recognized himself.
“So how did you two meet, anyways?” he asked the table.
“You can tell him,” Trey offered.
“We met on Hinge, actually,” Adam said, sipping his third drink of the evening.
“Wait, really?” Archie asked, surprised. “You always just said the apps so I assumed you meant Grindr.”
“No, I was taking a break from Grindr at that point,” Adam explained. “And, to be honest, I was about to take a break from Hinge, too, until this one came along.”
“Well, I was just coming off of a wildly successful run on Grindr,” Trey teased. “So I thought I’d move on to a real challenge in the actual dating sphere.”
“We only talked for, what, two days before I asked you out?” Adam recounted. He turned to Graham. “We went for ice cream one evening and stayed out until, like, two in the morning. Just talking.”
“Yeah, and the whole time I was waiting for this guy to bend me over and do me right there on the park bench,” Trey laughed.
“Shut up, you were not.” Adam nudged him.
“Fine,” Trey conceded. “I was having a great time. I didn’t even notice we weren’t hooking up.”
“So you guys didn’t?” Graham asked.
“Oh no, we did,” Trey clarified. “A few times.”
Adam laughed.
“Yeah, once we realized how late it was I invited him back to my apartment and…well, that was the rest of the night.”
“Till the sun came up,” Trey sighed reflectively.
“It was amazing,” Adam grinned bashfully. “And then morning came and…I didn’t want him to leave. And then it just went from there.”
“That’s really sweet, actually,” Graham smiled.
Adam took Trey’s hand and smiled warmly.
“What about you two?” Adam asked. “Trey told me you’re at the hotel where Archie works. I assume you met there?”
“Yeah,” Graham nodded. He looked to Archie as if asking for permission to tell the story – their story, he realized. “I was pretty much hitting the hotel bar every night after work. Usually had a few drinks to help me fall asleep, but this one was just too friendly. Kept trying to talk to me, and get to know me. So annoying, right? Well, one night I got back to the hotel after Last Call and he asked if I wanted to go out for a drink.”
“I wanted to get to know you,” Archie laughed. “You were so moody and mysterious, I felt like there had to be a good story in there somewhere.”
“Ballsy, Archie,” Adam observed.
“I know,” Archie rolled his eyes. “But, I mean, if you had to look at him night after night, I’m sure you’d eventually lose your restraint.”
Graham blushed. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Archie shrugged. “You’ve seen yourself. I figured, what did I have to lose? I could at least take my shot.”
“Girl, I feel that,” Trey winked. “One night at Harry’s and I told Archie he better make his move or I would.”
Adam rolled his eyes and laughed.
“Still would,” Trey shrugged and took a drink.
“Okay, simmer down,” Adam teased.
“I appreciate the flattery,” Graham laughed. “Archie did say – and I’m sorry if this is too personal – that you guys have an open relationship?”
“We do,” Adam answered casually, as if explaining they had a pet dog or a vacation home on the coast. A neutral acknowledgment, nothing more.
“How do you find that works for you?” Graham asked awkwardly. “And, again, sorry if that’s too personal. I’ve just never known anyone with that…arrangement.”
Trey and Adam looked at each other for a moment before Adam spoke.
“We’d been together a while before that came up. It was around the time when I got a new job. I was working a lot. Long hours, on my feet. I’d get home absolutely wiped. So there was a stretch there where I wasn’t really…in the mood.”
“It was a dry spell,” Trey emphasized. “Which, not to brag, but I was not used to.”
“To his credit, Trey brought the issue up and we talked about it and eventually suggested that, if I was too busy or too tired or whatever, Trey could get his needs met somewhere else.”
“And you were comfortable with that?” Graham asked.
“It took me a second,” Adam admitted. “But we had a long talk about it, about what sex and commitment meant to us, and I think I realized those two things didn't have to be mutually exclusive.”
“How so?” Graham’s curiosity was piqued.
“Like, what we really want from each other and from our relationship goes so far above and beyond our sex life that, I realized, anyways, there was room for him to have sex with other people – or for us to have sex with other people – and it not be a threat to our life together.”
“Just cuz I want a dick doesn’t mean I want what’s attached to it,” Trey quipped.
“God, Trey,” Archie laughed. “Eloquent as always.”
“He’s got a point, though,” Adam said. “And he’s proven that to me. He can have fun without wanting it to change what we have going on. And he always puts us first; that’s just an accessory. A backup, if you will.”
“Hmm,” Graham nodded, digesting this. “That’s really interesting. Thanks for sharing that.”
“Of course,” Adam grinned. “Thanks for listening.”
Graham sat with that information, letting it marinate. He wasn’t sure whether he could ever reach the level of confidence that had to require. But, at the same time, he thought of Archie. He thought of what a long-distance arrangement might require, the sacrifices, the concessions. He knew he’d be fine with waiting until they might see each other again, but would that be good enough for Archie? They hadn’t even discussed continuing this thing they had, but if they did, could he really ask Archie – young and fit and in his prime – to give up all that for him? It hardly seemed fair.
He was slipping down this slope when the waitress came by one final time to tempt the table with dessert. They declined, but Adam did order a glass of port.
“I’ll have one as well,” Graham said.
“Lovely, I’ll have those right out,” the waitress beamed.
They arrived with impressive speed, the small glasses full of the indulgent, blood red liquid. It’s aroma quickly reached Graham’s nose, intoxicatingly sweet. Adam raised his glass.
“This has been really great,” he said earnestly. “It’s not often we get to meet new people, and it’s even less often those new people turn out to be wonderful, so I’m thankful for a great evening. To new friends.”
“To new friends,” Graham echoed.
He smiled to himself as he took a sip of the port, recognizing the numerous similarities between himself and Adam. He felt an immediate affinity for him and acknowledged how effortlessly this foursome meshed together. It felt oddly familiar, like experiencing deja vu when seeing something for the very first time, like recognizing a home the moment you step into a new house.
“So, Graham, you said you’re on week five of six,” Adam said. “Do you come back for a Part Two of the project? Any follow-up or anything?”
“No,” Graham shook his head. “No, next week I’ll do some training for the end users and a final check of the application…and then that’s it. Any additional support will just be remote.”
“Oh,” Adam’s eyebrows raised. “So next week is it, then?”
“Yeah,” Graham nodded, then stopped.
He’d gotten so comfortable at the dinner table, felt so relaxed with his new companions, he’d almost convinced himself that these were in fact his new friends, that this was a regular Friday night out. With Adam’s question, however, reality came rushing back.
“Have you two,” Adam continued, “talked about what that means for you?”
“Babe,” Trey shook his head quickly.
Graham opened his mouth but no noise came from it. He turned to Archie for help, but his expression was carefully restrained, his jaw set.
“We haven’t really figured anything out yet,” Archie answered casually. His voice sounded impressively normal, but Graham could feel the emotion underneath. “We’ve just been enjoying the present for now.”
“Yeah,” Graham finally choked out. “We’re just taking it one day at a time.”
“I see,” Adam nodded. He looked uncomfortable, as if he regretted broaching the topic. “Well, I’m glad it’s been going so well. You two seem really great together.”
“Well, I say lean in,” Trey interjected, trying to smooth things over. “Y’all deserve a little fun and fuckin’ while you got it. Lord knows we all do!”
“Here, here,” Graham agreed.
