“Great job this morning,” Charlie commented as he and Graham made their way into the office cafe. “I think the team is really pleased with how things went this week.”
“I’m glad,” Graham replied. “They were so easy to work with. I’m glad that’s because it’s working for them as opposed to them being completely disengaged.”
Charlie laughed. “I know what you mean. It’s always the worst when you think you had a good week on site only to find out later they didn't give you half of what you needed.”
“And yet, that seems to be the norm.”
Graham and Charlie had begun having lunch together one or two days each week. He was quite enjoyable company, Graham discovered. He was in his late forties, thin and athletic, with a gentle demeanor that made him an exceptional project manager. He liked to talk about food and running, two topics Graham could easily contribute to. They got along quite well, though that could be, at least in part, because Graham had become more enjoyable company himself in recent weeks.
He’d really taken to the new client – the office was new and modern, there were great lunch options nearby, the grounds were beautiful and easily accessible for some mid-day fresh air, and, most importantly, the people were great. Graham had had at least one person from each department come back to say hi at some point on his visit. Even Tom, one of the crotchety men from the plumbing group, made a point to find Graham and say hello this week.
It was a simple thing, but it made a big difference.
Graham and Charlie grabbed a table in the center of the room, chatting cheerfully through their meal.
“I imagine you’re ready to get back home,” Charlie said casually, his bag of chips crackling loudly in his hand.
Graham weighed this.
If he was honest, he wasn’t sure how he felt about going home for the weekend. He was neither anticipating nor dreading it; he simply hadn’t thought about it.
“Yeah, I think it will be nice to get back for a few days,” he answered politely.
“I’ve not asked, but do you have any family back home?”
“I do. My son, Eli, and his mother are there,” Graham explained. He said this quickly, casually, not wanting to draw it out or elicit any undue sympathy from Charlie. Strangely, this time, the words left his mouth easily. He waited for the pang of sadness to pierce him, for the wave of grief or shame to rock him as it had so often before, but it did not come. Instead, he felt a dull throb in his heart, like the last remnants of a headache that had nearly passed. He felt the sensation, but he wouldn’t quite describe it as pain.
“How old is your son?” Charlie asked kindly.
Graham spent the next few minutes gushing about Eli, and before he knew it their conversation had shifted entirely. Charlie told stories of his own children – he had two, a son and daughter – and Graham felt a flurry of pride at this chance to be a boastful, loving father, absent of any of the negative details of his marriage and parenthood.
“Well, I’m sure you miss him,” Charlie smiled.
“I do,” Graham agreed. “Very much. I’m excited to get home to see him.”
“You know, I was a consultant for about fifteen years.”
Graham looked up, a little surprised at this revelation.
“Really?”
“Yessir. I did it all – the work trips, the air miles, the hotel points. Long nights at a hotel bar. It’s a demanding role.”
Graham nodded, his brain overanalyzing the line about nights at the hotel bar. “It is. Thankfully this is the most intensive travel I’ve had in my position. Usually the trips are just one and done concern. I don’t think I could do it full-time.”
“Not everyone can,” Charlie chuckled. “Not everyone should. I guess it’s nice that your life goes back to normal in just a couple of weeks then, huh?”
“Yeah,” Graham said dully. “Yeah, that’s…not very long, is it?”
They finished their lunch and their conversation. Graham excused himself to go for some fresh air before their afternoon session began, Charlie’s comment swimming in his head like a fly in his drink.
Back to normal.
Graham wondered what that phrase even meant for him right now. His life hadn’t been normal for damn near two years, and he knew going back to that was off the table. But what he did have at home – his plain, one bedroom apartment, his dwindling list of friends, his painfully empty social calendar – didn’t feel like any normal Graham wanted to go back to.
He tried to push these thoughts aside as he checked his phone, his anxiety faltering as he saw a new message from Archie.
Hey! It read. Still want me to stay over tonight? Just checking so I can pack a few things before I leave for work.
Graham smiled at his phone, Archie’s excitement palpable even through the screen.
Of course! He sent. Also, I was thinking about our chat last night, and…if you’re up for it…I think I’d like to take things a step further tonight.
You sure? Archie asked. There’s really no pressure.
I know, Graham assured him. I want to.
I want to, too.
Graham exhaled, unaware he’d been holding his breath. He smiled, his chest hitching with anticipation.
I’ll see you tonight :)
He was about to pocket his phone and head inside when it buzzed again, a rapid response from Archie.
See ya <3, it read.
Graham’s chest constricted, swelling with pride and anticipation and, admittedly, arousal. It was going to be a big night. He just hoped the afternoon passed quickly.
The knock on Graham’s door stirred him out of the trace he’d fallen into.
He got up from the bed and turned off the tv. He hadn't been paying attention to what was on – reruns of some sitcom with the volume so low he could barely hear it. He made his way to the door, stopping for one quick, final inspection in the full-length mirror, before undoing the latch and pulling it open. Archie stood there, dressed in his black bartending outfit, backpack slung over one shoulder.
“Hi,” he smiled.
“Hi,” Graham exhaled, pulling Archie towards him for a kiss right there in the doorway. He no longer cared if anyone saw him – not that anyone would in the deserted hotel hallway – he just needed Archie's lips on his.
“Well,” Archie smiled when Graham eventually broke away. “That was a nice welcome.”
“Sorry,” Graham blushed. “I've been wanting to do that all day.”
“I'd be lying if I didn't say me too,” Archie shrugged.
Graham stepped aside and let Archie enter the room. He latched the door behind him and crossed over to the bed, standing nervously.
“How was work?” Graham asked, fidgeting with his hands.
“It was okay! Slower tonight. I'm sure people are packing up to head back home tomorrow.” Archie looked around the room, which showed no signs of travel preparations. “Speaking of…”
“Yeah,” Graham shrugged. “Since I'm not flying I don't really have to pack as carefully. I can just throw shit in the bag tomorrow morning.”
“I like that plan.” Archie chuckled.
“So –” Graham began just as Archie started to say something. “Sorry, you go.”
“Oh, uh, do you mind if I take a minute to freshen up?” He asked, gesturing towards the bathroom. The backpack still hung from his shoulder.
“Of course,” Graham nodded. “Yeah, there should still be an extra towel in there. Use whatever you need.”
“Cool,” Archie smiled. “Won't be long.”
The door closed behind him, and after a few seconds Graham heard the sound of the shower turn on. He sat on the edge of the bed, anticipation simmering in his stomach. He took a few deep breaths, willing himself to calm down.
He'd had an enjoyable evening so far – he'd gone to dinner with Charlie and the grounds team from work, some sushi and ramen joint downtown that was surprisingly delicious. After that, he'd come back to the room to clean up, shower, and groom. He hadn't changed much, just a light touch up on his beard, his stomach, his pubes. He thought it'd be too obvious to try and shave anything, but he still wanted to look his best. Despite Archie's insistence that they'd been having “real” sex this whole time, there was something undeniably significant about their plan to take the next step tonight.
Graham was excited – he'd been looking forward to this all afternoon – but he also found himself contending with a basketful of insecurities. What if he started and didn't like it? What if it was too different from sex with a woman and he didn't know what to do? What if he couldn't get hard? What if his cock wasn't big enough to actually feel good in intercourse? What if Archie was disappointed? It was stupid and ridiculous, Graham knew this, but that didn't make the questions any less intimidating.
He'd faced a similar swell of uncertainty on his wedding night, questioning his size, his skill, his inherent suitedness for the task. Things had gone just fine but, again, neither he nor Julie had had many points of comparison. Archie's level of experience raised the stakes, or at least he saw it that way. Sure, this was Graham's first time, but that didn't give him an excuse to be bad – or worse, boring. He heard the sound of water splashing in the bathroom, briefly breaking him out of his spiral. He knew enough to know that guys needed to “get ready” before sex, but he didn't honestly understand all the details. He wasn't sure how much he'd need to warm Archie up, whether he could go for it all at once, whether Archie expected him to use his fingers or tongue ahead of time. Graham knew that was a thing, but he wasn't sure he was ready to try it himself just yet.
He stood up and hurried to the nightstand, retrieving the bottle of lube and a condom to hide under a pillow so he wouldn't have to search for them later. As he returned to his seat at the foot of the bed, he heard the shower shut off.
“You got this, Graham,” he thought to himself. “Guys have sex all the time. You'll figure it out.”
A few minutes later, Archie emerged from the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, riding low on his hips. Steam followed him out, creeping silently around his ankles before disappearing into the carpet. His hair was a little damp, his damp skin glistening in the lamplight. At the sight of him, Graham's nerves calmed, clearing the room to make way for the raw force of his desire.
“Hey,” Archie smiled, leaning against the wall by the bathroom door. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Graham looked up, nodding vigorously. “Just…a little nervous.”
“Good nervous or bad nervous?” Archie asked. He reached up to scratch his ribcage, and Graham watched his muscles move, amazed that anyone could look so graceful, so beautiful in so mundane a movement
“Good,” Graham clarified.
“Good,” Archie smiled and walked over to him. He stood before Graham, who looked up at him in an amorous haze. “Just talk to me. Let me know what works, what doesn't. We can stop whenever or try whatever you want.”
“Thank you,” Graham smiled. “Seriously.”
“You know,” Archie continued, a hand reaching out to comb through Graham's hair. He leaned into Archie's touch. “I'm nervous, too.”
“What?” Graham was honestly shocked. “Why?”
“Because,” Archie answered, hand falling back against his side. He shrugged. “It's your first time. I want you to like it.”
Graham giggled, a flustered, flattered sound.
“Archie. It's you,” he replied. “Why wouldn't I like it?”
“Well,” Archie smiled down at him. “I could say the same thing to you.”
Graham smiled and exhaled, the last few embers of his anxiety going cold. Archie looked back at him, his chest rising and falling, his face still pink from the warm water. As he held Graham's gaze, he reached down and unfastened the towel. It fell to the floor, pooling around his feet.
Graham stared in awe at the figure before him, lean and graceful and impossibly unblemished, a work of art come to life. There was something achingly intimate about his nakedness. Until now, Graham had primarily seen him hot and hard, in the heat of action. But here, relaxed and soft, he was remarkable in a new way. His cock hung between his legs, soft and plump. He had also groomed, not shaving completely, but thinning his hair enough that pale skin peeked out from underneath.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” Graham marveled. And, suddenly, he couldn't remember what he'd been nervous about.
He reached forward, hands finding Archie's naked hips, lips finding smooth skin of his abdomen. He kissed his stomach, his groin, his upper thighs; his hands found Archie glutes, kneading and squeezing the soft, dense flesh. He could've gone on like this forever, worshipping Archie's body until the world collapsed around them, but he felt two hands gently take hold of his cheeks, turning his gaze upward.
Archie leaned down and kissed him tenderly, his tongue tracing the line of Graham's lips. Hands pulled at Graham's shirt, grasping at it clumsily. Graham obediently sat up taller, helping Archie pull it over his head. Archie pushed his shoulders and Graham shuffled backwards on the bed. As he slid back, Archie hooked his fingers into Graham's shorts, pulling them off and discarding them on the floor.
As Graham reached the pillows, Archie mounted the bed, crawling slowly over Graham's body. He lowered himself, pressing their torsos together and resuming their kiss. Graham closed his eyes and dissolved into the sensation, feeling every point of contact between Archie and himself.
He wrapped his arms around Archie's torso, his hands sliding down Archie's lean back and landing on his glutes. Archie shifted his hips, grinding their bodies together, cocks stiffening between them. Graham's hands traveled inwards, feeling the soft hair on Archie's ass cheeks as his fingers approached the forbidden space between them. He slid a finger in Archie's crevice, feeling the warmth buried within. His finger grazed Archie's hole, eliciting a soft moan, and Graham was surprised by the feel of it – the gentle ridges and slick skin. It felt intensely intimate, intoxicatingly taboo.
Archie pressed back against his finger, hungry for more. Graham obliged, pressing against Archie's slit. Archie moaned into his mouth. Graham pulled his hand away and broke their kiss just long enough to wet his finger with saliva. Then, cautiously, he returned his finger to Archie's hole and pressed. It was tight against his finger; he couldn't imagine the feeling of it against his cock. After a few seconds of circling and teasing, his finger slid in.
Archie moaned and stared back at him, his eyes dark and hungry.
“That feel okay?” Graham asked, concern evident in his voice.
Archie simply nodded, mouth open, a wicked grin creeping across his face. He pressed his hips back, sliding a fraction of an inch further down on Graham's finger.
“What about you?” Archie asked, rocking his hips back and forth ever so slightly. “You like feeling inside me?”
Graham nodded, his voice catching in his throat.
“Well, in that case…” Arche smirked. He sat up, resting on Graham's thighs, reaching for Graham's cock, which was pulsing against his groin. He spat in his hand and began to stroke Graham lightly, warming him up.
“Let me grab some lube,” Archie said, starting to climb off the bed.
“Wait!” Graham exclaimed. He reached under the pillow and retrieved the small bottle of lube and condom he'd planted there moments before. Archie cocked an eyebrow.
“Someone came prepared,” he teased.
“I…” Graham trailed off. “Wanted to be ready.”
Smiling, Archie leaned down and kissed Graham gently on the mouth, his hand intertwining with Graham's, taking the lube from him in a seamless transition.
Sitting up, he squirted some into his hand.
“Do you want me to –” Graham began, holding up the condom. “I have this.”
“Do you want to?” Archie asked. “I just got tested a couple weeks ago and, well, I don't have any reason it would've changed since then. And I imagine you're all good…as far as that goes?”
Graham nodded. “Yeah, that's a safe assumption.”
They chuckled.
“Would you feel better using it?” Archie asked gently.
Graham thought for a second before shaking his head. “No.” He tossed the condom aside. “I trust you. Besides, I think I'd feel much better without it.”
Archie laughed. “Touché”
He reached down, taking Graham’s cock in his hand.
