Gay Selfies Blog

With food, mmmmmmm is what you say after you eat it. With guys, it's what you say before you partake, or to tackily hit on a guy with the goal of making him creeped out and uncomfortable. Isn't that everyone's goal? Straight guys may want head but they tend not to want to be hit on when they're not in total control. But it's the male gaze. And straight guys need to deal with it.

If you're at a gym and see a guy with headphones in but you're wanting to hit on him, consider that he may be wearing the headphones because he doesn't want to be bothered. I heard a couple of physically desirable straight guys at the gym comparing notes on strategies and the headphones with no music playing thing was the preferred method.

Desire. It's this thing where you want something or it wants you. But it doesn't mean anything happens. It could mean nothing happens and that may make desire tire or grow stronger. It could mean something happens and that makes desire grow weaker. Or best of all, it could mean something happens and that makes desire grow stronger.

Most of my desires don't make it past the pure desire stage. No idea how to change that at the moment, so desire for desire's sake will have to do.

I need a jock whistle. Like a dog whistle in that it produces a certain frequency sound that only jocks can hear. And it drives them wild. Making them hunt me (in a non-Law & Order SVU kind of way). Creates a compulsion in them to be their jock selves as close to me as possible. Hopefully negative 8".

How fucking tempting are these guy's cocks? Like bait on a hook. Except the bait is the hook because once you get one of these cocks in your mouth, you're caught. And will definitely go for seconds, even if it means getting in line.

So by this measure, which is the most effective bait? Please don't make me choose. And I won't make you choose. Unless you choose all six.

Hot Dudes with Dogs is a thing now. But some words of warning: just because the dog is adorable, and multiples the guy's adorableness doesn't mean the guy isn't a jerk. Like none of these guys have returned my calls. My thousands of calls. Damn them!

But why is it a hotness amplifier? Probably because it shows a guy is nurturing and playful, maybe even rough and tumble, rambunctious and adventurous (depending on the dog). Though that doesn't mean he'd be all those things with you. He may be cold as hell with fellow humans. Hey, I'm glad guys are all lovey dovey with their pets. Hell yes to that! But it doesn't mean lovey dovey to their fellow man, even to their boyfriends.

Dicks are aggressive little things aren't they? Aggressive big things sometimes too. Demanding. Imploring. Like how the color red can make people hungry. Or a naked man can make people hungry.

And can make guys take selfies, capturing themselves at peak horniness. Like catch and release fishing. Catch that moment, then release the selfie back into the wild to catch someone else.

It's selfie madness I'm telling you! My gut tells me one of these selfies is the hundred millionth naked guy selfie taken on the planet. Either that or the billionth. Yeah, I'm going with billionth. Because guys are like that. One is never enough.

Can you help me with a big problem I have? It's called cock lust and I'm a long-time sufferer. Getting cock just seems to increase my lust. Not getting cock just seems to increase my lust. What's a fag to do?

I guess I could think about how some of the guys attached to the cocks are real jerks. As in mean-spirited or selfish or demanding. Damn, those can be hot in the right context.

I give these guys 5 Sexy as Fucks on a scale of 5 Sexy as Fucks. Isn't that how People magazine rates movies? Starting with their review of 1982's Gandhi, which only got 2 Sexy as Fucks and some Oscars or something.

But what's the key to being sexy as fuck? I think it has something to do with perceiving oneself as such and carrying oneself that way. Feeling sexy as fuck and dressing (or undressing) to match. Knowing one is sexy as fuck and acting on it. Going to the gym like a second full-time job isn't enough. One must own it.

I'm not someone who thinks dick is everything, except when it is. I want to see it. Touch it. Feel it squirt. Suck the head. Milk the shaft. And take it out to dinner. Because I'm romantic like that.

How exactly do you take dick out to dinner? I have no idea. The hell if I'm paying for dinner just to get dick. Except sometimes, dick is everything. It makes a guy's body make sense. It matches his face somehow. Or doesn't match his body at all because it's oversized or otherwise obscene and seemingly misplaced.

I've heard your selfie supply is running low, so I'm here to save the day with a potpourri of selfie magic. From daddy to jock to a side view of big cock, we've got it all. So come once, come twice, come all. And remember, if you want more, you can click the selfies post tag and get it.

Cat's whiskers are wider than their heads to make sure the cat can tell if it can fit through some hole or not. Guy's shoulders are wider than their heads for the exact same reason.

It's just your friendly neighborhood bottom checking out the guy's shoulders to see if they meet hole access qualification or not. A quick yet important calculation for a guy who wants to feel enveloped and held and cocooned and connected.

Hey look, it's the one. The One. It's not just a movie with Jet Li anymore. Actually that's a pretty good movie. There are two of him or something. Good and evil and then stuff happens. I don't have much of a brain right now because all my brain's in my dick because look at this guy.

There's something perfect about a guy who wouldn't even notice me in real life. He's too busy noticing himself and other beefy 6'2" dudes. Or whatever the fuck height he is.

Whether seducing the top who owns the dick into showing it off and jacking it, or seducing a bottom to take the cock inside him, dicks are damn seductive little fuckers. Make that big fuckers. Sometimes.

In a world of misdirection, miscommunication, passive-aggressive bullshit, and overall sexual ambiguity, an exposed cock pointed in the right direction can do a lot to clear up any misunderstandings.

If you had to pick hot body or hot dick on a guy, which would you go for? And if you're a top and don't so much care about a guy's dick, then I guess you bypass the thought puzzle and go directly to asshole heaven. Which is figure is what heaven's like for tops: one big asshole.

But yeah, otherwise you may be in a pickle of a quandary of a dilemma. Because you have to choose. And face is an independent parameter. He can be super gorgeous perfect facially but then either the dick or body is total shit.