Gay Porn Gossip & News Blog

What's a normal amount of times to jerk off a day? I'm spending most of my evenings playing with my cock and edging, and cum about six times every day. Am I normal?

-Six Shooter

Yeah, you're totally normal because it's normal to lie about sex and there's no way in hell you cum six times every day just from jacking off in the evenings. Six may be an exaggeration but obviously it's enough times to get you worried. And it's not just evenings you're spending jacking off either, is it? Add in mornings before work or college or whatever, and during lunch break if you can find some privacy in a toilet. You love toilets.

To be fair, these air quotes superheroes might be too occupied jacking off or bound or self-absorbed in the mirror to offer much in the form of a rescue from any situation.

Plus the guy on the top right is about to do his laundry and accidentally lock himself out of his apartment so he's going to need his own rescuing from an understanding locksmith.

I'm a male stripper with a 10 inch cock. I've thought about doing porn but haven't had any interest from producers. Would it be easier to go gay-for-pay instead? I don't fancy guys but I need to make cash!

-10 Inch Mystery

You do know gay-for-pay applies to both porn and escorting, right? Because if you do porn, you can put "Porn Star" in your hooker ad and charge a whole 17.3% more an hour. I've done the sex math.

Difference is the guy or guys in the scene with you are professional too, gay-for-pay or not. But when you do sex work, the guy paying you is not gay-for-pay. He's paying-for-gay. He's actually getting off, not giving the appearance of getting off. Unless he's from Seattle, in which case even if he's not really that turned on by you, he'll act like he is and not at all tell you what he really needs, even though he's paying.

All my friends say I'm a terrible dancer but when I go to clubs I love dancing. I'm embarrassing my best buddy all the time. Should I stop dancing and prancing and behave myself? Or should they just know that I'm a disco diva and have to deal with it?

-Disco Dick

So you're a shy diva (huh?!) love dancing but dancing hates you. Sounds like a typical gay relationship. The keyword in all this is "prancing" as in flaming out as in queening out as in exploding and aureating and accelerating with maximum gayness in an enclosed space.

I'a a 25 year old man with the constant worry of not having the right body for a man to worship. I've tried donkey dick hypnosis and enlargement pills. I even use a penis pump and nothing has worked for me. Would you be able to give me advice on how to accomplish what I want?

-Unhung and Unhappy

Remember when you were a kid and had a loose tooth? You might've tied a string around it and tied the other end to a doorknob and slammed the door shut. Hello Tooth Fairy money! Well don't do that with your dick. Because if you rip your dick off, there's no Dick Fairy to leave you money under your pillow. That's not how the Dick Fairy economy operates.

Here's hoping you have a pair of nips to suck on this weekend. And I don't mean Paula Abdul's raisin nips. I really don't. I mean giant obscene man nips that could carve glass.

You would start your perfect nip weekend with a Friday night showing of that classic film directed by Steven Spielberg: Nips. That one where everyone's in that beach town and keeps getting killed by that great white nip until this macho guy takes on the great white nip personally. They get gay married and open a bed and breakfast in Burlington, Vermont so the beach is safe.

It can be problematic if a guy is so hot he takes your breath away. Because you're going to need it when giving him deep, satisfying head. That's satisfying for him and you. Because sometimes after a long, hard day at the office/factory/synagogue gift shop (or wherever the hell you work), you need a tonsil massage.

To celebrate the launch of new site Tabloid Men, we pose the question; who is hotter, Tom Daley or Zac Efron? Each week, Tabloid Men brings our new hot celebrities nudes. To check them all out you can head to the website. But don't forget to tell us who you think is hotter first in the comments!

See full-frontal celeb nudes at Tabloid Men!

I want to get a pornstar body! How do these guys get so hot? Is it genetics or is there a secret to the perfect workout? I'm not too out of shape and just need a plan that works.

-Desperate Dude

So you wannabe be a pornstar minus the whole have sex on camera for money thing. That's like going to medical school to be a throat surgeon and not killing Joan Rivers even once. What's the point of medical school if you never commit malpractice? And what's the point of having a pornstar body if you don't ejaculate on cue for 50 bucks and a donut?

Are you trying to tell me this stuff is underwear? Because it's totally not underwear. For so many non-reasons that I can't even count but I'll try so you believe me. I need you to believe me. Even if you don't. This stuff is not underwear.

I'm 32 and split up with my wife a couple of months ago after I realized I was gay. I want to start seeing guys but am not sure what's the best way. I live in Boston. Gay clubs maybe? I'm quite shy though. And I'm nervous about meeting people from an app.

-Fresh Out of the Closet

You're not off to a good start. Being married and sort of in the closet would have made you immensely desirable. And it would have created a reason (besides insane shyness) that you would be looking for some sort of discretion. You've lost your chance to be trade. That's gay slang for a straight guy who can be had after a few cocktails. Or in your case, after a mocktail. Because you don't need to be drunk to screw a guy.

You've worked for some big studios as well as a couple of smaller ones. How did you get into porn and what was the deciding factor?

Last summer I received a message via Facebook from a director of a porn company in London. We had mutual friends and he saw my profile and messaged me saying he needed someone with my physique/look for a shoot next week. I thought why not? This could be fun, so I gave it a go. He also told me to start a Twitter page, which I did, and from there other job offers started to come in.

Someone is sure taking Arby's "We Have The Meats™" slogan very seriously. Sure they have a metric ton of sandwiches, everything from brisket and ham to chicken and bacon to swordfish and buffalo. Okay, not the swordfish and buffalo. But they do have a Snack 'n Save® menu, perfect for the carnivore on a budget. Still, until that moment some enterprising horndog put dick on the Arby's menu, I wasn't interested.

I have a date with a guy next Wednesday. We're both tops! I didn't want to say I was a top because I fancy him so much. What should I do?

-Closet Top

That's a huge problem. A date with a guy? How fucked up is that! Especially on a Wednesday. At least if it were a Friday night you could plead your case that you got swept up in weekend homosexuality, a phenomenon which victimizes many. But a Wednesday? That sounds intentionally gay.

Homoeroticism in advertising is going backwards in time. Just like Nicolas Cage wishes his flailing career path would. Back to the magic day when Cher (as Loretta in Moonstruck) responded to his "I'm in love with you" with two slaps in the face and a "Snap out of it!" But Mr. Cage can't go back in time. Instead he starred in the reprehensible Left Behind. And the only time I want to see "Left Behind" is when it means the naked bottom on the left in the all-male orgy.