Life Isn't A Fairytale

I finish up at the hospital getting patched up not sure what pain is worse, the physical pain of the bruises or the emotional pain of hurting one of the only people to have faith and trust in me. I don’t want to be a bother to Ben for a while so I get a cab home for a bit and start to put things right before realising that if I don’t make a change then Chris and his boys will be back soon.

After assessing all the damage, I quickly head to my wardrobe and quickly grab the box that holds Ben’s graduation present that both his mum and I organised to get for him. I make sure that’s still safe and put it on the desk because I need to make sure that he gets it so I put it on my bed so I can take it with me to drop it off at his house. I grab my bag and start throwing clothes in and make sure that I can pack every card and picture of me and Ben in the bag.

Slowly, I pack my things up and look around, my car is parked around the corner so hopefully, the guys didn’t touch it and I put my bag in the back and head back upstairs and write Ben a letter telling him that it might be better if I leave. As I write the letter, I can’t help but cry because Ben has been with me every step of the way and I just don’t know whether I would be the person today if it wasn’t for Ben and his family.

I leave the note on my dining table so Ben can read it when he comes looking for me because I know that he’ll come around here looking for me but he was right, we both need space from each other right now so it’s better that I leave him the note. After packing everything I can into the bag, I grab the box and put it in the back of my car, and head straight to Ben’s house hoping he isn’t home so I can just leave it at the door.

As I get to Ben’s place, I notice his car is gone but his Dad is home so I take a big risk and knock on the door opening to talk to him. I stand there for a moment as he opens the door and looks at me disapprovingly “Ben’s not home and if even he was it wouldn’t be a good idea for you to be here”. I stand there “I’m not here to see Ben, I was hoping you could give this to him because I think you know what it is and I just hope that you could hear me out please”.

He stands there and looks at me and then the box knowing what it is before opening the door “I’ll listen but I don’t know how much you can say that will change my mind about everything Liam”. I follow him and sit the box on the dining table and then sit down at the table “I know, this situation isn’t ideal but I want you to realise that none of this involves Ben and if anything, he’s been a massive help in my life and if it wasn’t for him I’d probably be in Prison if not worse”.

That sentence doesn’t make the situation any better but I take a breath “Ben is just like his mum, he has the same kind-hearted soul that she did”. I look across at his dad “Your family treated me as if I was a part of this family because I grew up without really having any family close by and if I needed anything you were always there for me”. I take a deep breath “Ben, has been my rock during all this you know, he helped me find regular work at the Music Shop, he organised for me to play gigs at the pub and at other venues to earn some extra money so I could get my own apartment in place”.

His dad looks at me “Liam, I know you’ve been best friends with Ben for as long as anyone can remember and I know his mum treated you like you were part of the family and I cared a lot about you as well, but when you started getting into trouble, I was scared that Ben was going to get into trouble and that’s why I stopped trusting you”.

I nod and understand the point of view that he is coming from before I respond “I understand that 100%, but the last person I’d ever want in trouble would be Ben.” I sit there and sigh “This whole situation is something that I thought had been dealt with in the past and it came out of the blue”. I see that Ben’s dad still doesn’t look entirely convinced “When I was in trouble the first time, I was working for these guys and eventually I quit and left that life behind after I got into trouble and then the other night, they showed up after I played a gig at the pub and threatened me saying that I owed them six grand of stuff and I had to work that debt off”. I sit there and wipe my eyes “I essentially felt that I was left with no chance but to do it so I took on that responsibility without telling Ben anything about what I was doing”.

I continue to tell him the story “It was only after seeing Ben, while I was working that I realised that I needed to stop this because I knew that I would be undoing every bit of hard work he had put into me and everything that your family had helped me with, so I messaged the guy and told him I’m quitting”.

I notice that Ben’s dad’s face is changing from anger to a sort of sympathetic look at me, “It was from that point where things began to turn nasty, I got home from work and they had trashed my apartment and were still there when I got home and beat into me”. I close my eyes and try to just compose myself “I didn’t know where else to go and I wasn’t trying to bring trouble here but this was the only place that I knew where I could feel safe for a little bit so that’s why I sat under the apple tree because like for yourself and Ben it means a lot to me and it would connect me to the only real mother that cared for me in my life”.

Ben’s dad now starts to get emotional himself but still doesn’t say much so we both sit there in silence for a minute. I go to get up “I’m going to leave now, I want Ben to have this now because I’m going to leave for a while and I don’t know whether I’ll be back or not to give it to him and I know this will be special to him”.

Before I leave the room, I hear his Dad’s voice “Liam, you’re misguided at times but you have a heart of gold underneath and I’m sorry that I thought you were bringing Ben down to trouble, I had no idea he was doing any of this”. I look across at him and just nod, “You’re welcome back here anytime Liam and I’m sorry for my distrust in you”.

I walk out of Ben’s house and get into my car, I have no idea where I am going to go tonight or for the next few days but I just drive and take Ben’s advice just to have some space between us. The first night I just drive along the motorway and park my car at a service centre and just sleep in the back of my car. I think about texting Ben but think against it because I just feel like as if the whole situation would be better if I ceased any contact with him for a while because ultimately, he deserves better than me.

I sleep pretty averagely in the backseat of my car, it’s not exactly comfortable but it’s somewhere to sleep for the night. The sun beats through the next morning as I get rudely awakened by the light coming in the front of the car. I turn my phone back on and see no texts from Ben, which is kind of disappointing but at the same time, I understand the fact that I told him not to contact me until I’m ready.

I walk over to the toilet area and wash my face and tidy up my hair a bit and get in my car and continue to drive for a bit longer before finding a small town in the middle of nowhere and see a cheap motel and pull in and see if I can just stay there for a while. Thankfully, they have plenty of rooms so I tell them that I’ll stay here for a while. I bring in my stuff from the car and put a photo of Ben and me together on the bedside table just so that I’ve got something to picture him by.

My day is nothing other than just laying on the bed and then walking around the town just to see where I might be calling home for the next period, I notice that a local restaurant is looking for a delivery driver and I head in and ask whether the position is open still. It’s a big step down from the gigs and the music store where I’ve been working so well but any money that can help cover my motel bill will help.

The world goes by me over the next few days, nobody has bothered to contact me during this period which is both good and bad, because I did have an outside hope that I’d have heard from Ben by now but at least there is nothing from Chris or his mates. Over the next few days, I feel better that there are no more demons coming after me and so I feel better that I want to contact Ben but at the same point I don’t want to tell him where I am, so I find something that he would know that was from me, so I set out trying to find something that will tell him, I still want him.

Thanks for reading everyone, just a heads up that I'm taking a couple of days break from writing and will have the next part up early next week :)