Dirt road main street

I’d met Josh years ago and the kind young man loved dressing me knowing I didn’t have a budget. He was very gay, talked in a high voice, and he knew how to dress a man. “Look at you, RJ,” he said. “Who’s your friend?” He asked.

“He’s starting at the U. He needs everything. Sky’s the limit.”

Ben looked at me. I think it all came together for him; Ryan doesn’t bullshit. Now Josh didn’t waste any time feeling his arms, measuring, and then told him to sit down and he’d call when it was time.

“So was he checking me out?” And I knew he wasn’t sure.

“People have been checking you out since we got on the train; and yes; he’s checking you out.” It was an honest question because he really didn’t know.

“Ready.” And Josh clapped his hands.

I walked up. “Look. He is from North, Da, fuckin, kota. Don’t you dare scare him or jokingly call him ‘farm boy’.”

He looked at me. “Is he the one, Chancellor? Have you finally found someone who can make you happy again?”

I put both hands on his shoulders, “It’s not about me, dumb ass. He is the one I want to make happy.” And Josh knew me well enough to understand.

Ben was floored at how different clothes made him look. And he looked good in everything. He’d walk out and I’d nod; I did shake my head back and forth a couple of times when Josh went over the top for his own selfish needs. I won’t say what it all cost but I’d have paid twice that.

I mean the back of the A8 was packed. “You kissed him.” He said after a while.

“Jealous? I asked. “He’s my friend,” I said hitting the 405.

“Should I be?” He asked after a mile.” This is a really nice car.” He said a few miles later.

I reached for his hand kissing it then resting both in his lap. “You had to have spent a lot of money today?” He said.

“The day I bought this car I spent a lot of money. Your clothes will make me happy seeing you in them again as much as driving this car. We’ll be home in about forty-five minutes; just sit back.”

“Where are all these people going?” He asked.

“We beat the traffic, Benny. It gets crazy. Just sit back.”

I only had two exits when we merged on to I 5. Ben had never seen freeways like this and I could tell it scared him. When we got off and he saw roads with trees, two-lane roads, I could feel him calm. I was close to the freeway but you couldn’t hear it. I hit the clicker turning into the driveway and through the gate coming to a stop in front instead of parking in the garage.

I love the smell of home. We walked in and down the hall; “That’s your room,” pointing to my left and proceeded down the hall then to the right and he followed me.

“Nice room,” he said cuming in behind me.

“Hang up your stuff; I need a real shower,” I said dropping my shit.

He explored. “All this yours?” he asked looking in my closet.

“Grandma’s stuff is on the left and mine is on the right.” And I laughed. “Yes, it’s mine, dumbass.”

“Jesus Crist!” Came from him walking into the bathroom. I so… wanted to, but didn’t.

“It’s just a shower, Ben.”

He came back out with a smile. “That isn’t a shower. I don’t know what that is but, fuck.”

“Go get your stuff, Ben.” And he turned in a pair of new jeans. Damn.

So here I was; Ben. He is the younger brother of the kid I’d had most of my firsts with. He was what I needed. I don’t fuck around, don’t do random hook-ups. I saw in Benny what was missing in my life now, someone like him, a man I might be able to love.

I did want a shower and didn’t think twice about shedding my clothes. I turned fully nude and there stood Ben. His face held no expression, his head shook slightly from side to side, then he closed his eyes and smiled. He dropped the bags and boxes walking up to my naked frame with him fully clothed.

It’s funny, kind of. His arms rested on my shoulders and mine went to his waist. It is one of the first things men do, figuring out who is who. Usually, it has to do with size but we were equals. Maybe it was a dominance thing? “You’re funny. So? Where do I put my stuff?”

“In, your, room.”

“I could use a shower, too.” And he backed away beginning to disrobe.

“You need to hang up your stuff and fill the drawers. I promise there will still be hot water when you’re done.” And I walked around him.

I really didn’t want him to see me like this. I would have rather it be a surprise and not a shower room thing. I did have a really nice shower. It was a walk-in, whitish marble tile with three shower heads and a rain shower. You honestly could have four people in it and wouldn’t have been crowded. Home. I am a comfort kind of guy; smells are the biggest things for me.

I grew up in this house; all of my memories were planted here. It was the place I grew up; and now this too was mine. Robby and I made this our home for five years. Like I said; I have money. At seventeen I inherited my Grandparent's estate with a lot of holdings. My father's parents. My Dad died twenty years ago when I was eight. It was a hard time.

I sat with all the heads on me; thinking. There was no going back with Ben. He walked away so… willingly. And today he, who had never been more than thirty feet off the ground, never been more than sixty miles from home. And, then Josh dressing him. I mean jeans are Jean’s; but there not. Silk replacing a cotton t-shirt, designer Jeans, and the confidence it brings out in a shy man.

I knew he was standing in front of me even though my eyes were closed. “NO. BEN.” And I didn’t open my eyes. I reached out and my hands found his hips knowing where he was standing.

“Why are you being like this?” And I knew his teeth were grinding.

“Do you really want it like this, Ben? How long have we known each other? It will happen, I promise, you. But not know.” And I stood leaving him to ponder what I said. It took him a while.

I was dressed when he came out and I told him to dress; we were going to dinner. I’d been gone for a few days and checked my answering machine. I work from home brokering Cedar; 15 missed calls. I listened making notes then Ben came in.

I could tell he felt uncomfortable wearing slacks, silk shirt with shined shoes. But he looked absolutely, fuckin, amazing. Josh, knows how to dress a man. The slacks were tight in the crotch allowing what he was packing to show a little. The shirt had no extra room in the sleeves and his biceps filled them.

I stopped what I was doing just to look at him. And I thought about Robby. It had been five years since I lost him. I never stopped trying to fix broken. Robby and I were together for five years and it had been five years without him. We met when I was seventeen and he was sixteen. He went with me back to Fredericksburg to settle the Estate.

Enough about that. I walked up to Ben with a smile unbuttoning another button. I rolled his sleeves under his forearms and nodded my approval. Yes. Josh knows how to dress a man. Ben was a man and Robby was a boy when Josh dressed him knowing or seeing just how I felt about him.

It’s been five years and I still miss him. We loved tenderly, both of us wanting to give to each other something that only we could pull from the other; that once in a lifetime love. I knew Benny wasn’t going to replace him and I wasn’t trying to do that. Ben was a young man.

“Let’s go to dinner. I think you’ll like the restaurant; you like seafood?”

“We Ain’t got no ocean in North Dakota. I don’t know. Never really had it.”

First off, we had to fix a few things. Ain’t, Ain’t a word, and ‘Ain’t got no’ made me cringe. But I loved his ND drawl.

We drove the seven miles to Mukilteo; Ivar’s. The waiter was tall; all of 6’6. He has a smile that I knew made him lots of tips. We started with crab balls and I had a Cadillac Margarita; love these damn things.

“Bring us a seafood sampler and another one of these,” pointing at my empty glass.

“Some of this stuff is kind of gross, but it’s good.”

“Dip it in the butter. Everything is better with butter, Ben.” And I thought about Robby again.

I had grown up in fine restaurants, fine beef, and seafood, Italian, Chines, all of it, and I educated Robby’s palate just like I was doing now with, Ben. I watched as he ate and I had yet another Cadillac.

“Bring us a couple of Lobster Tails,” I said to the tall young man, pointing at my glass again.

Robby was boots, jeans, and flannel, before Josh. Before me. I didn’t want to change him; just wanted to spruce him up a bit. Robby? I sat across from Ben, wondering. Had I done a bad thing bringing him home with me? I watched.

Ben walked away from everything he had ever known, got on a train with me not knowing where the end was, and now he sat across from me enjoying food that was foreign to him. I was well on my way to being smashed enjoying the view in front of me.

“Is that the Ocean?” he asked.

“It’s part of it. The tide goes in and out.”

“Is that an Island?”

“Yes.”

“What are those things called?” Pointing at a Ferry.

From your Author:

I live on the West Coast, and smoke is abundant. I am glad that DRMS is read by a lot of people wanting, More. I said to a reader, What I wanted was to make Robby relevant again; ‘Robby and Ryan.’ That happened for me but during my plundering, a child was born, ‘The Start.’

And during that series another child was born, ‘Something Different.’ Who would have thunk??? And as life goes on another birth, ‘The Bug.’ R&R, ended as did The Start, after many thousands of words. For me; It’s like laying a child to rest.

Many thousands read, few comment, and fewer make connections with other readers. The best I can tell is; I’m an oddity. Most of my readers are friends and have bonded with others who read, RJC. My goal, in the beginning, was to make, Robby, relevant again.

Mission accomplished. Thank you, guys. I am now; our host would say, ‘Don’t look at numbers.”

I am number ten on this site as, most popular authors, most readers, most votes, and most comments. In my modest way; I have past years of inspiration, authors that helped me see the light as a writer. It is humbling beyond words. RJC.