Be My Companion
by Avarice
26 May 2023 1088 readers Score 9.8 (63 votes) PDF Mobi ePub Txt
Julian
After training, I got dressed into my normal clothes after having a quick shower and walked out of the locker room to find Alexis. I was conscious that this was the first time I had entered the showers as a brand new man, but I didn't have the slightest bit of interest in viewing any of the other players in that manner. And I appreciated the fact that JT knew my truth, and did not change how he acted around me at all.
I walked in the direction of Alexis's observational bench and saw him standing next to it talking with JT. Alexis's sweet smile suggested the conversation was of a friendly nature, and then moments later, JT leaned down to hug my sober companion.
"Thanks for waiting, Lex," I said when I was close enough to them.
JT spun around and grinned from ear to ear. "Here's the best defensive end in the league. I was just telling Alexis how stoked I am to see you at the happiest I've ever seen you."
Alexis's smile and nod confirmed JT's sentiment.
"I'm a lucky dude," I replied.
JT pulled me in for a quick hug and bid farewell to both of us before jogging off. I reached over to Alexis and lightly stroked his arm.
"How are you?" I asked him.
"I'm fine. What prompted you to tell JT about us?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "He's my closest friend on the team and I'm very serious about us, about you."
I wanted to reach out and hold his hand so he could feel that my words were sincere, but with the few people still darting around the stadium, I decided against it. It would all be worth it once I had come out to the world and I could finally embrace Alexis in a public setting the way I wanted to, and the way he deserved.
Alexis smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes like it usually did. There wasn't that usual sparkle in his chocolate irises when he was happy about something. In fact, he looked slightly disappointed or disturbed.
"Hey," I said, my voice soft, "what's up?"
Alexis shook his head. "I'm fine. I guess I'm just overwhelmed with the idea that we can finally be together soon."
I couldn't help but grin at his comment. "It's exciting isn't it?"
The idea of having a picnic at a park with Alexis in my arms, leaning back against me as we sat on a tartan rug together exhilarated me in a way I couldn't explain, and a sudden burst of energy took over me suddenly.
Alexis looked at me jumping around excitedly on my toes and shook his head. "No, Julian. I'm still recovering from last night. It hurt to sit down for the past three hours, for crying out loud."
I let out a deep belly laugh which cracked Alexis and he began laughing with me.
"I'll go for a quick run then," I said, fumbling around in my pocket. "Take my keys and I'll meet you back at the car."
Alexis took the keys off me still with a smile on his face.
"I love you," I said.
"I love you too."
As I turned away, I would've sworn I saw Alexis's beautiful smile falter. But as I began my quick run around the stadium, I looked over my shoulder and saw him walking away from me with his bag slung over his shoulder.
Alexis
Seeing how happy Julian was to come out and be with me almost made me vomit. He was on the brink of happiness, of being his true self and living life the way he wanted, and I was about to take it all away from him because his publicist was blackmailing me.
Walking back to Julian's car, I almost felt lightheaded at the impending decision I had to make. There was no doubt in my mind that I had to leave Julian. Vanessa made it abundantly clear that my hands were tied about that. I just didn't know how I was going to do it.
Should I stage a fight and leave him that way so he at least he has some closure about the break up, even if that closure was fraudulent? Or should I leave him in the middle of the night with a simple letter telling him that was over? An easy option for me, a heartbreaking option for him.
I shivered as I unlocked Julian's car.
Those pictures, those videos... I never thought they would see the light of day.
Uh oh.
I pulled the passenger side door open but stood still, just in case my breakfast decided to come rushing out of my mouth any time soon.
If this wasn't karma coming back to bite me in the arse, then I don't know what was. I mean, sure, I was drugged at this sex party and had no idea people were taking photos and videos of me without my consent. But I agreed to go to the stupid sex party in the first place, and I decided to keep this a secret from not only Julian, but everyone in my life.
No one needed to know that Alexis Mendes wasn't as innocent as I tried to portray myself to be. No one needed to see Alexis Mendes drugged out of his fucking mind lay there while a bunch of random men who continued to remain anonymous shamelessly used me like their own personal fuck toy. No one needed to watch the evidence that suggested my former boss was telling the truth, even though he absolutely wasn't.
I thought I had done a good job of burying that evidence so deep into the ground that not even a professional excavator could find it. But yet here I was, waiting for the only man that I've ever felt a true connection with, planning to break his heart because his conniving publicist managed to find the unfindable in a matter of days.
Yep. I definitely felt like my breakfast was about to come out.
I bent over, gasping for air, trying to stop myself from throwing up out of pure guilt. I ran my hands through my hair and held it back, feeling that gross feeling of something rising up in my stomach.
"Baby?"
Oh no.
"Baby, are you okay?"
I felt Julian's arm on my back, and his other hand hold onto my shoulder endearingly.
"I'm fine," I managed to say. "I just think something that I ate this morning isn't agreeing with me."
Julian rubbed my back comfortingly. "I'll get you some water."
"No, it's fine. It'll pass."
"Baby, let me take care of you."
Ugh. He would never know how much those words both calmed me and hurt me at the same time.
Julian
As soon as we got home, I carried Alexis into my bedroom and laid him down onto the mattress. I knew the gallant act of carrying him was a little over the top, but the idea of caring for my sweet boyfriend in a chivalrous manner was weirdly enticing.
I always thought I was the playboy bachelor type, but it took falling in love with my sober companion to make me realise that I was always a hopeless romantic at heart.
I set a bottle of water on my bedside table for him and sat down on the edge of the bed next to his feet.
"Can I get you anything else?" I asked him.
"No, you're doing way too much as it is," Alexis said softly.
"Lex, I love you. I want to take care of you and make sure you're okay."
I reached over and grabbed Alexis's hand. His fingers closed around mine and I saw a semblance of a smile touch his lips.
"Get some rest, baby."
I let go of Alexis's hand and grabbed my phone, eager to call Vanessa to check how things were going with my coming out plan. I knew it hadn't been long since I told her I wanted to do this, but Vanessa was great at pulling out miracles, and I trusted her to have a solid one soon, if not already.
"Julian?" Alexis's voice softly called out.
I held my phone away from my ear as it began dialling. "Yes baby?"
"Can you come cuddle me?"
I heard Vanessa's snappy voice answer on the other end, but how was I meant to focus on her when the most beautiful man in the world requested my immediate attention.
"I will in a second, baby," I said, still holding the phone away from me.
"I hope you're not calling me that," I heard Vanessa's voice come from the speaker.
I pressed it against my ear. "Sorry Ness, you're definitely not my baby, don't worry."
"I'll count that as my own loss. What can I do for you, Jules?"
"I just wanted to check to see how our game plan is going. I'm excited to be with Alexis, and I'm 200% ready for this."
"That's really nice to hear, Jules. Look, I think I have a plan that I can set in motion fairly soon, but you just need to be patient with me while I iron out the kinks. We want this to go as smoothly as possible with the least amount of pushback as possible. You know me, Jules, I'm a perfectionist."
"I know you are, Ness. I appreciate everything you're doing and have done for me, and I know Alexis does too."
Vanessa paused briefly. "Thank you, Julian. And just know that everything I do, I do for your own best interest and for the longevity of your career."
"I know you do, Ness, that's why you're on my payroll."
After a quick goodbye, Vanessa hung up the phone and I turned my attention back to the angel laying in my bed.
As I made my way back into my bedroom, Vanessa's words made me think about what my best future would look like.
Back-to-back SuperBowl champions, Defensive Player of the Year for the third time in my career, becoming the highest paid defensive player in NFL history, of course. But at the same time, I envisioned Alexis by my side, holding my hand and smiling brightly in the way that only he can.
Next to him were two children, one boy and one girl, tugging at his arm as they looked for their father's attention. And if I wasn't mistaken, a diamond ring sat on his finger.
The thought of marrying Alexis or starting a family with him had never come into my mind before, and the simple idea set an anxious weight in my chest. But as I stepped into my bedroom and saw him lying on his side, his eyes closed as he tried to rest, the anxious weight I had been feeling was soon replaced with a giddiness full of hope and desire.
I know we hadn't known each other for long, and had been together for even less, but...
Fuck. I wanted to marry him.
Alexis
I was surprised that I managed to fall asleep at all, given the tremendous amount of guilt that was coursing through my body right now.
I should've just ripped the band-aid off and broke up with Julian at the stadium. I should've told him that it wasn't him, it was me, and that I couldn't commit to him or anything right now.
Instead, I was laying in his bed, wrapped up in his arms as he tried to care for me and my 'illness' despite the fact that I wasn't physically ill at all. I was just ridden with guilt; a guilt so heavy that I wasn't sure how I was eventually going to move.
Fuck.
I should've created a distance between us to make it easier for him to move on when I inevitably broke his heart. Instead, I was selfish, and I asked him to hold me because what I needed to help me get through making the hardest decision of my life was him. It was always him. It was always going to be him.
These moments when we were wrapped up in each other's love, where no words were spoken and the only thing exchanged was an intimate embrace, were the things that I was going to miss the most when I left Julian. When his arms and his body held me with such a tender regard that I felt like I was the only person in the world, or when his lips traced invisible lines up my body and around my skin like Julian needed me to breathe.
It was because of this that I knew I was going to make one more selfish decision, to give me one last beautiful memory to cling onto for the rest of my life before I dropped the best thing to ever happen to me.
I rolled over onto my side and pressed my lips against his forehead softly. After peppering more and more loving kisses around his face, my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend and ex-client stirred awake.
"Hey baby," he whispered. "How are you feeling?"
"A lot better," I replied.
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
I smiled at him, and bit back the urge to tell him all of the things I wanted to tell him. Like how the possibility of love seemed so futile until I met him, or how I felt whole whenever I was with him because he completed me.
I had finally found my person, and now I had to leave him.
I knew that I had to keep it together for him. Julian knew how to read me and my emotions better than anyone else in my life, and if he suspected that I was the slightest bit off, it would make leaving him so much harder.
Keep it together, Alexis. For him.
Feeling resolute, I rolled over until I was partially straddling him, looking down at him with a pure love that I had only ever felt when I was with him. I cupped his face in my hand and positively beamed when he leaned into it, kissing my palm gently.
"What are you thinking about up there?" he whispered.
Keeping the most convincing smile on my face, I stroked the side of his face with my index finger. "I want you to make love to me."
I knew I had to pull out an Emmy-winning performance here. This was the last night I was ever going to spend with this man, wrapped up in his embrace, feeling his love, and I absolutely could not ruin it by letting my guard down.
"Of course, baby. Whatever you want."
I leaned down and pressed my lips against his, savouring the soft feel of his mouth moving against mine. I felt a rush of emotion as I realised that this would be the last time my lips would ever taste his and move against his like a well-rehearsed dance made just for us.
Keep it together, Alexis. Enjoy this moment.
"Are you okay, baby?" he asked me.
I nodded my head, summoning all the power within me to convince him that I was fine. I weaved my arm through my shirt and pulled it off in a swift movement. Julian ran his hands down my bare torso where every inch of skin his hands touched came on fire.
"You are so beautiful, Lex," he whispered.
As much as I enjoyed these nice things he would say about me, they stung me deep. I ran my hands up his torso and pulled his shirt off, squeezing his large defined pecs with my hands. Julian gripped my waist in his hands and raised his hips to meet mine where I could already feel his impressive length through the fabric of his shorts.
I hooked my hands around his neck and fell backwards, pulling him on top of me. His lips found my neck and hungrily skimmed across my throat and down towards my collarbone, peppering me in sweet kisses.
"Please," I begged Julian.
Julian silently acquiesced and with his nimble hands, pulled my bottoms down until I was completely naked under his capable hands.
"I'll never get tired of loving your body," Julian said.
More stinging words from the only man that I've ever truly loved.
I captured his lips in a deep kiss and then leaned my head across to whisper in his ear. "I need to feel you inside of me."
Julian
My lips never left Alexis's as I wriggled out of my shorts and briefs, setting my hard cock free. One of Alexis's hands glided down my chest and my abs softly until it seized my throbbing length, stroking it softly. He aimed it in between his soft cheeks, and I could feel the warmth of his opening immediately.
"Hold on, baby," I whispered.
I reached over to my bedside table to retrieve some lube and squirted some onto my hand. I began stroking my cock which had no troubles staying hard after beholding Alexis's naked body underneath mine.
With my fingers still slick with lube, I plunged them deep into Alexis's hole, watching his body writhe in pleasure with my digits. I had been inside of Alexis so many times that I felt I could navigate inside of him with my eyes closed.
"Make love to me, Julian," Alexis begged me.
I pulled my fingers outside of him and lined up my slick cock at his entrance. Without much resistance, I slid deep inside of him until he had taken every inch of me. Alexis squeezed his eyes shut as he acclimated to my girth.
"Are you okay baby?" I asked him.
Alexis nodded and gripped onto my hips, pulling at me desperately. I slid out slowly and pushed myself back in, wanting to feel every part of him take me.
Shit, I was so fucking rock hard for this man, and every primal instinct wanted me to jackhammer him until he could barely walk. But this intimate connection we had was too strong, and I wanted to take my time unwrapping this beautiful gift and savouring every moment we had together.
Alexis's hands softly skimmed up my sides as our bodies collided into one. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me even closer to him until our mouths were on each other's, moving together in a strong, passionate embrace. I slid my arms underneath his body so I could hold him as close as humanly possible while I made sweet love to him.
"You feel so good, baby," I whispered.
"Yeah," he moaned.
I started picking up the pace, pulling out and thrusting back in a steady rhythm. Alexis's body melted underneath mine as we made love. I paused our kissing so I could look down into his eyes and see everything he was feeling.
Alexis's eyes locked with mine, and as my hips continued to rock to meet his and my cock slid in and out of him, I could see in his brown irises that he was holding something back.
"Baby," I whispered, slowing down my fucking pace, "are you okay?"
Alexis offered a smile, but he squirmed underneath me. "I guess I'm still kind of sore from last night. You did a number on me."
Immediately, I pulled out of him and my cock made a slurping noise as it slipped out of his hole.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I leaned down and kissed him on his forehead.
"I want to feel you," he said, pressing a kiss against my shoulder.
"Okay baby."
Before Alexis could even register what I was doing, I straddled his hips and began working some lube onto his cock, stroking it with my hand.
"Julian?"
"Shhhh. Let me do this."
Alexis
Julian eased himself onto my cock so effortlessly, one would think he had a lot of experience as a bottom. I watched in awe as my length slowly disappeared inside of him until I felt his hips collide with my skin.
"Just give me a sec," Julian said, his eyes closed as he sorted through the mix of pain and pleasure.
The fact that Julian was giving this side of himself to me in this selfish night of pleasure made me feel an enormous amount of satisfaction that nearly stole the orgasm from me, and also a tremendous amount of guilt.
"Julian..."I breathed.
Julian swapped over to a squat position on his feet and slowly slid up and down my length. His cock, which was still wet from the lube and from being deep inside of me, bounced and slapped his abs as he began picking up the pace in his riding motion.
I held onto his ankles and bent my legs at the knee so I could meet his hips with my own upward thrusts. The sounds of our bodies colliding seemed to be battling the deep moans coming from both Julian and myself.
"Julian, you feel so good," I moaned.
"Fuck, baby," Julian's head rolled back as he bounced on my cock. "You are fucking hitting the spot."
I could see in Julian's eyes and in his expression he was experiencing the euphoria that bottoming could only provide. The way his lips curved over the moans that emanated from deep inside him told me that he was closely reaching his climax, and if I could give him one last gift before I left him, it would be just that.
"Fuck, Julian!"
I slowly crunched up into a seated position so I could get as close to him as possible while he bounced on my length. Leaning back onto the mattress with one hand, I wrapped the other around his neck and pulled him down, thrusting my tongue into his mouth.
"Does this feel good, baby?" he whispered.
"Yes, it fucking does."
Julian skimmed his lips against mine. "I love you so much, Alexis."
His admission of love for me, combined with the tight warmth of his body taking all of me, brought an overwhelming amount of emotion out of me. I plunged my lips into his and let out a cry as I climaxed inside of him, pumping out what felt like the biggest load of my life as I reached the most intense orgasm I've ever felt.
As my body came down from the highest of highs, Julian slowed down his movements and he slowly slid off my length; my slick cock made a wet thud sound as it slapped against my stomach.
"Julian... that was... that was incredible," I whispered.
He leaned down and kissed me sweetly, letting me savour the taste of his tongue. "I love you, baby."
I looked down at his manhood, which was still hard and silently yearning for its own release.
"Julian, lay back," I ordered him.
He reclined without question and looked at me, his eyes dark with lust. As soon as my lips touched his cock, his mouth opened in a moan as I engulfed him with my own. The taste of me still lingered from before, and the forbidden nature of tasting myself on Julian somehow stirred me to please him even more.
Julian ran his fingers through my hair and held the strands back in a makeshift ponytail so he could clearly see my lips serve him. I let my tongue swirl around his sensitive head and looked up, watching Julian writhe and moan in pleasure.
"Baby... hold on... I'm gonna..."
I didn't slow down. In fact, I sped up my motions and began slurping on his cock like my life depended on it. He had given me the gift of a mind-shattering orgasm, and now I wanted to return the favour.
Julian cried out one last warning. "Lex!"
I felt his cock twitch and suddenly felt his warm load shoot inside my mouth in large spurts. The taste of him splashed on the insides of my mouth, and with the idea of pleasing the only man I had ever truly loved unconditionally in mind, I swallowed his climax, licking my lips as I did so.
"Baby..." Julian let out a deep breath. "You're fucking incredible."
Julian pulled me up to meet him and kissed me, gently sucking on my bottom lip.
"How was it?" I asked him breathlessly.
"I mean, don't expect me to do it all the time, but I get why you like it so much," Julian said with a chuckle. "Besides, you could never tear me away from that sweet ass of yours." He slapped my bare cheeks for extra effect.
Knowing that I was going to eventually tear myself away from him in mere hours, I gave him my most convincing laugh and sealed it with a kiss.
"Let's go have a shower, and then I want to be in your arms straight away," I said decidedly.
Julian
The sweet, comforting scent of Alexis greeted me when I slowly came out of unconsciousness. The floral smell of his shampoo, combined with his natural alluring aroma, was always the best thing to wake up to.
As I came out of my sleep, I realised that he wasn't in bed next to me, and I was just smelling him on the pillows and in the sheets. Unless he had somewhere to go or something to do, Alexis usually waited for me to wake up before he got out of bed.
"Lex?" I called out.
I waited for him to tiptoe in, wearing one of my sweatshirts that draped his body like an oversized dress, but he didn't come. I sat upright with the blanket covering the lower half of my naked body and rubbed my eyes.
"Baby?"
I got up out of bed and picked my shorts up off the floor that had been tossed aside during our sweet moment of passion last night. I immediately felt the throbbing sensation in my ass from taking Alexis inside of me which still seemed foreign to me. I stepped into my shorts and pulled them up before exiting my bedroom.
"Morning Julian," Frank greeted me.
"Good morning Frank. Have you seen Alexis?"
Frank shook his head. "I got here pretty early and assumed he was still asleep with you. I haven't seen him."
Even though it was completely normal for someone to go for a morning walk, or quickly run some errands in the morning before their partner woke up, a part of me started to panic.
I stalked back into my bedroom and quickly picked my phone up. No texts, missed calls or voicemails from Alexis.
The panic started to rise in my chest, and as my eyes skimmed over the bedside table where I had retrieved my phone, I noticed a handwritten message on a piece of paper next to the small table lamp.
Eagerly, I picked it up and immediately recognised Alexis's handwriting.
Dear Julian,
The time I have spent with you have truly been some of the best days of my life.
When I first met you, I pre-judged you as a playboy football player who had no desire to get sober and only hired me as a publicity stunt to save his career. But then I got to know you, and I saw the kind, generous and compassionate man that I eventually fell in love with.
Each day I spent with you I learned something new. You taught me how to appreciate the small things in life, and that unconditional love does exist. You loved me more than I have ever loved myself, and I will eternally be grateful for that.
It is because I have so much unconditional love for you that I'm writing this letter to you. Before you loved me, you loved football, and at the end of the day, both cannot coexist together in this world. You have always been so selfless when it came to me and my needs, so now it's my turn to repay the favour.
By the time you read this, I will have boarded a flight back to Melbourne. I have blocked your number and all of your social media profiles so you won't be able to contact me, because I don't want you to.
I made this decision for you, because you deserve to thrive and share your abilities with the world and the fans that love you in the profession that was made for you. Your career will continue to soar, and if I played any part in seeing you achieve Hall of Fame status, I will be happy.
I have let the agency know to assign someone else to your case, and they should be in contact with you fairly soon to organise a replacement.
This may hurt for the time being, but you are strong and you are resilient and you will bounce back from this. This is what's best for the both of us.
I love you my darling, and I will always love you. But it's time for you to move onto bigger and better things.
With love,
Alexis Mendes
AUTHOR'S NOTE: A sincere apologies to the lovely readers who tuned in every week for this story. I had a viral infection, and then faced a death in my family, so I didn't have the time or energy to submit this chapter until now. I appreciate your patience and support.