Be My Companion

Julian

When we got back to the hotel, there were no pretenses between us. The lines were drawn, the stage was set, and I looked at this beautiful human next to me with fresh eyes; this was someone that I had grown to love so much that it scared the shit out of me.

There was no rush to take our clothes off and fuck each other, or even just make sweet love. Instead, I slowly took my shirt and pants off with Alexis following suit shortly after, and we simply laid in bed wrapped up in each other’s love in a comfortable silence.

Everything about this embrace was so much more different now that I knew that he loved me and I loved him. The feel of his bare skin next to mine felt like a tingling sensation everywhere we touched. 

Touching him, smelling him, kissing him, holding him. It reminded me of home.

And now, as our taxi rolled up to my childhood house, I got to share another piece of home with Alexis.

“Do I look okay?” he asked me.

Alexis could be wearing a potato sack and still look perfect. He instead, however, opted to wear a purple puffer jacket with white jeans and black ankle boots. His blonde hair was tied up in a simple bun which was something he had fussed over back at the hotel.

“Does this bun say that I’m nice and presentable, or that I’m a train wreck? Should I just leave it out? Or maybe just put it in a pony? Should I cut it off?”

A simple kiss told him he’d look perfect however he wanted to present himself, and finally after some more kissing and literal arm tugging, we had arrived at my old home. The flag pole that stood in front of my house proudly displayed a trans flag and a BLM flag next to an American flag.

 Alexis followed me up the cobblestone pathway and onto the front porch of my house with his arms folded in front of him.

“They’ll love you,” I assured him. “I’m terrible at lying to my parents, so it’s going to be hard for me to pretend that we…”

“It’s okay, darling,” Alexis whispered.

Darling. I almost shuddered with a delightful giddiness at the word.

I knocked on the door and pulled the handle down, inviting myself in. The staircase that I had ran up and down chasing my sister for many years appeared before me, and moments later my father appeared at the top with a smile on his face.

“Kathy, they’re here!”

Dad jogged down the steps with the biggest grin on his face and his eyes darted between Alexis and me.

“Hello son!”

He held his arms open for me and I brought him in for a tight hug. Even though Dad only came up to my chest, he still radiated such a confident authority that I would always feel like half the man that he was.

“Alexis, very nice to meet you.”

Alexis held his hand out to shake, but Dad swatted it away and pulled him in for a hug. He was momentarily surprised, but the way his face relaxed into a smile calmed me.

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Ambrose,” Alexis said.

“Nonsense. Call me Joe.”

Mom rounded the corner shortly after with a half apron wrapped around her and a wooden spoon in hand.

“Hi Mom,” I greeted her.

She let out a delightful yelp as she pulled me in for a rib-crushing hug. She turned her attention to Alexis with a satisfied expression on her face.

“You’re so pretty!” she said.

Alexis bit his lip. “Thank you.”

“We don’t shake hands in this family. Come here.”

Alexis fell into a hug from my mother as well who patted him on the back with her trusty wooden spoon.

“I’m Kathy, and I’m partially responsible for that fine gentleman you work for.”

“So lovely to finally meet you both,” Alexis said.

Mom’s mouth fell open slightly. “Your accent is so fascinating. Can you say ‘car’ for me? Just once?”

I felt the blush rise to my cheeks as Alexis simply uttering a word sent my mother into hysterics.

“Kathy, you’re embarrassing the poor young man,” Dad cut in before I could.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever met an Australian before.” Mom looked at me and smiled. “I’m making spaghetti bolognaise and home-made garlic bread for dinner. It’ll be ready soon.”

Alexis mumbled his gratitude, and before I could follow suit, my little sister appeared at the top of the stairs with a pink gaming headset on her head.

“Hey Stel!”

She pushed past my parents and almost crash tackled me in a tight hug that only an Ambrose could manage.

“Stel, this is Alexis,” I said.

“Hi Estelle,” Alexis greeted my sister.

“Your cheekbones are out of this world,” she said as she studied my sober companion’s features.

“Oh… thank you.” Alexis nodded towards her, looking at her gaming headset. “What are you playing?”

“COD of course. I had to pause my session so I could come down and see my brother in person for the first time in forever!”

Alexis looked over at me and smiled. In what appeared to be a natural reaction, he reached over and lightly touched my arm. When he realised what he did, he pulled it back discreetly and cleared his throat.

Estelle quickly turned on her toes and ran back up the stairs to finish her game. Dad beamed at us and placed his hands on his hips.

“I’m going to help your mother finish off dinner. Son, take Alexis on a tour of the house,” he said.

---

Alexis

A look of pride coloured Julian’s expression as he slowly led me around his childhood home, pointing out different areas of his home and recounting fond memories he had.

“I had a few friends over for a ninth birthday party, and as I was ready to blow out my candles, Estelle thought it’d be funny to start a cake fight with me, so we ran around the entire house trying to throw cake at each other.” Julian pointed to an indistinct corner of the informal lounge room. “And that is where the cake fight ended when Dad verbally annihilated us.”

I smiled up at him. “Have you always been close to your sister?”

Julian nodded his head proudly. “We’ve always been close, probably because we’re each other’s only sibling. And it was good that we were close, because she never had any hesitations coming out to me or telling me about her transition, and I was here every day helping her through that period.”

God. Even after the last 24 hours we’ve shared together, I still found myself falling more and more in love with this man.

As we walked up the front staircase, I glanced at the numerous family photos that adorned the wall on the way up. I smiled as I recognised a young Julian in various different photos with his family, from playing at the park with his father, to a teenaged Julian donning his high school’s football uniform.

“Julian, you were so cute,” I said.

“What do you mean ‘were’?” He poked me in my ribs.

“I said what I said. Besides, I think you’re more handsome than cute now.”

My attention fell to a photo of Julian with his parents and his sister pre-transition.

“We asked her if she wanted to take any pre-transition photos down, but she’s not ashamed of her journey,” Julian explained. 

I grabbed Julian’s hand and squeezed it.

“I love it,” I said. “I love your family; I love that you remember where you had a cake fight with your sister on your ninth birthday, or that you remember helping your sister recover after her surgery in this house. I love everything about this.”

Julian smiled at me warmly and stroked the strands of hair out of my face.

“You want to know something?” he whispered. “I had my first kiss on this staircase, and now I want you to be my last kiss on this staircase.”

Julian leaned down and pressed his lips against mine softly. As soon as I had melted into his touch and began to savour the taste of him, he pulled away and let go of my hand. Before I could question why, Estelle had emerged out of her bedroom.

“You’re not showing Alexis our cringe family photos are you?” she asked Julian.

“Of course I am,” Julian grinned.

I stared longingly at Julian’s lips as Estelle walked down the few steps to join us. She pointed at the photo I was looking at before of her pre-transition with pride.

“You can kind of see the girl that was dying to escape there, can’t you?” she said.

“Dinner’s ready!” Kathy called out before I could say anything.

Estelle placed her hand on my shoulder. “You’re in for a treat. Mom’s spaghetti bolognaise is to die for.”

Estelle rushed down the stairs and, after stealing another quick romantic moment with Julian, we followed her into the dining area where Kathy and Joe had already set the food out on the table.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked.

Kathy quickly dismissed me. “Don’t be silly. You’re a guest! You can take a seat. Julian, come help your sister set the table.”

Watching this small woman so effortlessly boss around Julian made me laugh, and it reminded me of the dynamic between him and Vanessa. Julian joined Estelle in setting our plates and cutlery while I took a seat at the table, watching him intently with a smile on my face.

“Alexis, do you like red or white?” Kathy asked me.

“Mom! Remember why Alexis is here in the first place!” Estelle exclaimed.

Kathy’s gaze shifted between Estelle and me before the realisation dawned on her.

“Oh Jesus, Julian, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I said with a wave of my hand. “Julian has come a very long way since I took him on, and I can safely trust him in the presence of alcohol, even if I wasn’t here.”

Kathy nodded her head, but still looked distressed over her mistake. Julian put his arm around his mother and kissed her on the top of her head, which had an immediate effect on her.

Joe filled everyone’s glasses with water instead and joined the rest of us at the family dining table.

---

Julian

I took a seat next to Alexis as Mom dished out some of her famous spaghetti bolognaise for everyone. Even though I knew I should’ve been on a pretty strict cut, I would rather deal with a few more unwanted carbs than the wrath of my mother after turning her food down.

“Parmesan?” Mom offered Alexis.

He nodded his head and watched as my mother dumped a lot more parmesan cheese on his spaghetti than he was probably expecting.

“What’s it like working with my son?” Dad began the interrogation before Alexis could even pick up his fork.

“It’s been a great experience for the both of us,” Alexis said in his well-trained professional voice. “I’ve learned a lot taking on Julian’s case, and he’s made so much progress since I first took him on.  Like I said before, I have full confidence in him to be in situations around alcohol by himself without making any ill decisions.”

“That’s very nice of you to say, Alexis,” Mom said.

“I’d like to think we’ve benefitted equally as much from being paired together,” Alexis added.

“I’ve always said that he could benefit from some extra help, haven’t I, Kathy?” Dad said matter-of-factly.

Mom rolled her eyes but nodded her head in agreement.

“I know the kind of man that my son is, and that aggressive drunk the press tried to paint him out to be was not him,” Dad said sternly.

It was entertaining to watch these people in my life who probably knew me better than I knew myself talk so openly about me as if I wasn’t sitting right in front of them.

“I agree,” Alexis said. “I’ve come to know the man behind the helmet, and you should both be very proud of the son you’ve raised. He’s very kind, generous, and compassionate.”

Mom smiled proudly, and Dad reached over and put his arm around her.

If I ever doubted Alexis’s feelings for me in the future, I knew all I had to do was replay this conversation in my head. Alexis spoke about me with such a pure, wholesome love that only he could muster; it was undeniable that he loved me.

“Sounds like you have the best sober companion money can buy,” Estelle added.

I nodded my head. “Couldn’t have asked for a better one.”

As I stuck a forkful of spaghetti into my mouth, I felt Alexis’s hand graze down my thigh and squeeze my knee. I bit down on my fork, mostly to suppress the goofy smile that was threatening to give our position away. I stole a glance in his direction and he had a knowing grin on his face.

“I’ve never heard of a sober companion before,” Mom said bluntly. “It sounds like an interesting career path for you.”

“It’s a very rewarding career,” Alexis said, his hidden hand still rubbing my leg comfortingly. “I was originally volunteering at AA, and I found that being more hands-on in assisting an addict’s recovery was a lot more my style, so I naturally gravitated towards this career path, and I’ve enjoyed every part of the journey.”

“I love how you say ‘part’,” Mom giggled.

“Mom!” Estelle hollered.

Dad pointed his fork at Alexis and looked me in the eye. “You’ve got a good one here, son.”

“I know, Dad." He had no idea how much meaning his comment really had.

“You probably know more about Julian’s life than we do,” Mom said, gesturing between her and Dad. “Our boy here doesn’t call his parents as often as he should.”

“Yes I do!” I said defensively.

“Does he have someone special in his life?” Dad asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Alexis.

“Dad, I’m sitting right here.”

Estelle threw her head in her hands in embarrassment while my father completely ignored my existence.

“I don’t think that’s my place to tell,” Alexis replied.

Mom’s mouth fell open. “So he does!”

“You guys are so embarrassing!” Estelle exclaimed.

“Who is it, son?” Dad was about to break out into hysterics.

I could tell my parents loved the overbearing parents’ act they were performing. I made a mental note to never bring anyone back home to meet my parents ever again, even if they were just a friend or a teammate.

Instinctively, I opened my mouth to lie to them, but no words came out. As much as I couldn’t lie to my family who had done nothing but support me my entire life, I also didn’t want to keep Alexis hidden like I was ashamed of him. That beautiful man sitting next to me deserved to be praised and appreciated, and a man that kept him hidden away was nothing but a foolish man.

Feeling Alexis’s hand squeezing my knee like he was giving me the support I needed, I cleared my throat and answered them.

“I’m actually very in love with Alexis here,” I replied simply.

---

 Alexis

The room went dead silent. I had never understood the phrase ‘you could hear a pin drop’ until this very moment.

I had almost choked on my food hearing Julian’s calm admission. Working hard to swallow the chewed spaghetti bolognaise in my mouth, I looked over at him with my eyes wide. Even though he had just made one of the most jawdropping confessions of his life, Julian sat there with an unwavering, determined expression on his face.

“Really, son?” Joe asked him sincerely.

Julian grabbed my hand that was on his knee, laced his fingers through mine, and brought our hands onto the table for everyone to see.

“I've never been so sure of something in my life,” he said confidently.

Julian squeezed my hand comfortingly as we awaited the response of his family. I saw a flurry of emotions cross his mother’s face in a matter of seconds; on the contrary, Joe’s face remained kind of stoic, like he was taking some time to process the news that was just dropped on him.

Suddenly, Estelle threw her hands up into the air in excitement and squealed in delight; Kathy’s eyes teared up and a bright smile touched her lips; Joe stood up from his seat and rounded the table in long strides before he pulled his son in for a tight hug.

“We love you and we are so proud of you, son,” I heard Joe whisper in Julian’s ear.

I was so shocked at what was happening right now that I was frozen still. Julian let go of my hand momentarily and stood up from his seat, pulling his father in for a mutual hug.

“I knew it!” Estelle said. “I watched your interview together on the news, and I knew there was something there the way Julian naturally came to your rescue like that.”

Kathy finally joined us on our side of the table and after kissing her son on the cheek, she pulled me in for a tight hug.

“Thank you for making my son the happiest I’ve ever seen him,” she whispered in my ear.

Estelle stood up from her seat and joined the beautiful exchange of hugs the Ambrose family had initiated. Finally, after everyone had been hugged out, Julian turned to me and held his hand out for me to take. Knowing that this would be the first time we ever showed our affection towards each other in front of an audience, I let out a deep breath and placed my hand in his.

While I imagined that his family would be warmly receptive to him coming out due to their unwavering love and support for Estelle, I had never pictured it to be as beautiful as what it was. Witnessing his parents wholeheartedly accept him and embrace him for the true man that he was touched the deepest part of my soul, and watching his sister give him the love and support that he deserved brought tears to my eyes.

“We need some time to figure out a game plan, so we’d appreciate it if you kept this on the down low for the time being. Everything is going to change the second people find out about us,” Julian explained. He looked me in the eye, and his blue irises sparkled as he smiled lovingly at me. “But I don’t want to hide you any longer, Lex. I’m not ashamed of you, and I’m not ashamed to be with you.”

In a smooth move that only Julian could perform so effortlessly, he pulled me into his orbit and pressed his lips against mine. Everything else in the room seemed to fade away as I melted into Julian’s sweet kiss. Time stood still as he held me in his arms, embracing me for the first time in front of his family.

As his lips separated from mine, and the rest of the world gradually came back into focus, I heard his sister cheering and applauding us, and I saw his parents watch us with an undeniable amount of pride in their eyes.

Kathy suddenly turned to her husband and lightly whacked him on the shoulder. “Joe! Run down to the supermarket and buy a cake. This calls for celebration!”

 

It didn’t take much convincing from Joe and Kathy for us to stay here for the night so Julian could spend more time with his family; in fact, it seemed they were more adamant to keep us here for the night after he came out so they could completely accept and embrace this true version of their son.  

Julian had put on some old clothes of his and he had given me one of his sweatshirts that sat on my body like an oversized dress. I turned around after putting it on to catch Julian's reaction, but the dark look in his eyes told me that he didn't want me to wear this much longer.

"Not in your parents house," I hissed at him.

Julian waggled his eyebrows at me. "The forbidden aspect of it just makes it that much hotter."

I threw my discarded t-shirt into his face and he began chuckling. As he peeled he cotton off his face, the lustful glint in his eye disappeared and was replaced with that look of adoration I had come to love so much.

“I love the way you look when you’re relaxed at home in comfy clothes,” Julian said with a smile.

“Don’t tell me that because then I’ll become too comfortable in front of you and always wear trackpants and jumpers around you.”

Julian took my hand and pulled me towards him. “To me, that sounds perfect.”

He pressed his lips against mine, taking my head in his strong and capable hands.

“I’ll never get tired of kissing you, baby,” he whispered.

With my hand still in his, he led me downstairs and into the lounge room where Joe was sitting watching television. He looked up when he saw us and his face immediately lit up.

“Seeing you happy makes this old man so proud,” Joe said.

“Thank you, Dad.”

Julian sat down on the other sofa and pulled me towards him, wrapping his arm around me tightly. Joe turned the volume down with the remote and shifted his body around to face us.

“What kind of a storm are you expecting?” he asked casually.

“I don’t know how my sponsors will take the news, or how the league will even react. No doubt everything will change once everyone finds out, so I want to be prepared for it as best as possible.” Julian pulled me closer to him, and I felt him press his lips against the top of my head. “But it’s a bit more difficult for Lex.”

“How so?” Joe turned his attention towards me.

“It’s the cardinal rule of a sober companion to not date your client, and because this case is so heavily in the public eye, once this comes out, my career is essentially over,” I managed to say.

Joe’s face dropped. “That’s tough, Alexis.”

“It is,” I said. “But if I were to give up my career for anyone, it would be for this man right here.”

Julian kissed me on the top of my head again and his hand began rubbing up and down my arm.

“For what it’s worth, I think both of you deserve the fairytale ending that you’re after,” Joe said. “Whatever happens, we will be here supporting you.”

Joe stood up and tossed Julian the remote.

“Don’t think about that now. This is tomorrow’s problem. For now, son, just appreciate this handsome man you have under your arm.” Joe placed his hand on Julian’s shoulder. “Goodnight son. Goodnight Alexis.”