Gay Solo Blog

The naked guy on the speedboat is the direct cause of a spate of masturbating sharks. Distracting sharks with ass and cock is a proven tool in the fight against surfers losing limbs. It's right up there with not surfing.

I admire his one-man tribute to 1950s aqua ballet, when there were big water-ski pyramids of smiling fools. Of course they weren't naked, but nobody said the 1950s were perfect. What would make this image perfect is if it were a gif. I'd like to see his everything flop violently in the wind. I wonder if he could ejaculate from that.

The guy casually and completely exposed at the gym bathroom mirror may be getting paid by the gym as a sort of human advertisement. I'm not sure homosexuals are super more focused on gyms than non-homosexuals, but same-sex locker rooms and the sights they randomly contain can be quite the motivator for repeat attendance, especially if a highly desirable showoff has a regular schedule one can sync to.

Riley hits his bathroom for his tryout video for Amateur Straight Guys. He's a beautiful boy with bright blue eyes and plump kissable lips; even his wildly scruffy chin and bowl cut are irresistible. He's got a slim, smooth body and a meaty cock and he sits on a towel by the bathtub and jacks off. Come inside and meet Kota, another new ASG.

Some of these pairs may not stay tight for long, considering what a big, precum-dripping boner can do to cotton. But all it takes is a wash and dry to bring them back to body-clinging life. Except if you're into never washing them because that's a thing too.

There's a laundry detergent with the slogan "keep your whites white and and colors bright" but really once you get a pair home, or are with a guy in wonderful white briefs, all bets are off. Maybe you want that underwear-clad bulge in your mouth, turning the fabric nearly transparent with your spit.

Or maybe you want to watch him pose from across the room as you treat him the exact way you used to treat the underwear section of male clothing catalogs. Or rubbing your covered bulges is a fine way to spend time together too.  It's up to you and your underwear-loving buddy.

Speedo is a brand name but it ranks right up there with brand names that sound generic like Jell-o, Bandaid, Jeep and Kleenex. Which is perfect because I'm going to need a Kleenex to wipe myself off and a Bandaid for my knee after I pick up a soaking wet Speedo guy in my Jeep and suck him so hard his brain turns to Jell-o.

I don't understand how some Speedos go transparent when wet. That doesn't seem to be an issue in the Olympics so it must be all the performance enhancing drugs that have a side effect of turning wet Speedos opaque. Or it's just that white or light speedos are always an exposure risk.

And what a wonderful risk.

Lusting after calves is a lower risk activity as compared to openly staring at a stranger's crotch. Because you're generally looking at calves from behind and with your eyes lowered, it's difficult to be caught. Though since really strong calves also show from the front, there's always a risk of being publicly exposed as a drooling calves watcher.

Then you could end up on the cover of Calf Lusters International. An honor of sorts.

And what do these guys expect when they work out their calves and combine that with lucky biology to reach seduction level. And not everyone with big calves has massive muscles overall. Sometimes there's a disproportionate Popeye forearm thing going on down there. And I'm glad.

The only thing I can think about when I see pictures of naked guys on beaches is where do they keep their wallet and keys? Answer? Obviously it's in the ass. Though it does make it difficult when a guy wants to buy a cold snack from the vendor at the beach and has to jam his ass into a credit card reader.

I guess the answer is actually the same place as they'd put their wallet and keys if they were wearing a swimsuit, because generally swimsuits (except for the slutty gay kinds that have a spot to stash a condom) don't have pockets.

Whether helped in their hang by ball stretchers or genetics, or some combination, big and low-hanging balls are a fine thing to rest your eyes on. They should replace those diagnostic charts at the optometrist with pictures of big, hanging sacks (once the patient turns 18 and signs a release form).

I would also like to propose big pouch, see-through jockstraps for athletes. And no pants. As I'm not really connected to the garment industry, we could just skip that and athletes could simply pull their pants down and spread their legs. As long as I got to choose which athletes, because professional golfers should not be viewed below the waist. Keep those plaid pants on.

The cake pop trend needs to end. A single small blob of compressed cake on the end of a stick gives you the benefit of portion control, but mainly gives the seller the benefit of charging way more for cake than the universe should allow. So enough with cake pops. We need to move on to cock pops.

That's a lollipop cock. Flared head. Or a thick cock with head to match. Because nobody will complain about a lollipop with a fat, suckable stick.

Now you can't quite know if a guy has a cock pop between his legs until it's fully hard. No matter how flared out a cock head is, when it's soft, it's soft. So if you're hungry for cock pops, you better get busy searching.

After a hard day building in the nude, your guy needs to be put to work at home. Take out the trash. Change a lightbulb. Fix the radiator. Fuck your ass and mouth mercilessly. And move the bed back where it originally was before all the merciless fucking.

Sure, most sexual admiration of working guys don't involve a naked working guy. Something about work sites having crazy rules about safety. But here we can skip the middle man, by which I mean clothes. And get right to the heart of the matter. 

Finally a sexual interest I don't understand! At all! Once you get past the obvious "pearl necklace" association, this is basically naked guys in necklaces. That could be a crucifix or dog tags or something entirely different. 

But probably not actual pearls. Unfortunately. I'd much prefer imitation pearls. Why hurt an oyster for glamour?

Okay, I guess I ever so slightly get it, because I'm suddenly picturing shirtless lifeguards with a corded whistle around the neck. Or a sexy guy fleeing a sexy vampire so of course the non-vampire sexy guy is wearing a garlic necklace.

Sometimes a guy has to express himself and he may not have a facility with writing poetry or painting a still life of three mangos and a pear. But he can expose to express.

And maybe if he's multi talented, paint a still life of his moving penis and ass and then write a poem about it.

I definitely need to practice some immediate responses if I run into one of these situations. Like for the stealthy penis selfie guy at the gym, I could say: "If you want to do a bicep double flex at the same time, I can take your picture for you."

Sometimes public exposure is done when strangers may or may not catch it. But it's the thrill of being caught that inspires that momentary unzipping, or dropping of pants, or more extreme risk.

And sometimes public exposure is just full on clothes aren't anywhere in sight (except probably with whoever is taking the picture). That clothes holder is assuredly a trusted soul. 

Except for the clothes carriers that may have run away after snapping the picture. Potentially that itself would be such an intense fantasy for the exhibitionist they would spray right there. Cum, not urine. Okay, maybe urine too after. Sometimes you have to pee after cumming. Nude or not, that's biology.

Massive muscle building is not required to have pecs that beg to be manhandled. What helps is for the owner of the pecs to present them for viewing and touch and to say things like "Squeeze my pecs."

Or "I'd really appreciate if you would ever so gracefully and firmly squeeze my fucking tits." 

Or "I demand you call in sick to work so you can play with my chest all day because I say so. Please." I added the please as who says brutal, controlling dominant folks can't say please. And yes it counts as dominant to demand something be done to you.

For some, this is an oxymoron fetish. As some armpitters are into the hair element, the exposure of a gruff masculinity with concurrent scents and mystery.

But for others, admiration the full armpit exposure smoothness communicates, common among bodybuilders and other athletes, is a life goal. It can be an extension of a desire to see smoothness overall, as the pecs, biceps, traps, and delts converge. And it can align with anything from a tickling fetish to jock functionality. A gymnast, for example, will often have smooth armpits so nothing gets caught or pulled during their extreme athletic activity.

Or it just looks good to judges. Whether a judge in a formal competition, or an informal gay judge looking for their gay armpit lover dream guy, smoothness can win the day.

It's natural to put the spotlight on dildos because guys who stuff themselves with dildos tend to like to see it going in and stretching them open. And like athletes who record their performances in order to later analyze technique, self-observation can be important.

Especially if the goal is to take on a dildo as big as one's forearm or mortgage.

They don't have to be seen as a replacement for being fucked, despite the sometimes extremely penis-y look of the things. Some are more abstract sculptures of sorts. And all are an extension of masturbation. Even if it's being done primarily for an audience.