2 Feb 2019
This guy leaves little to the imagination, except I can't solve the mystery of what the "D" stands for in the video title "Muscle Surfer Wrecking His Mancunt While Gooning On A Huge D."
Is he referring to a high milligram Vitamin D supplement? He's in California so I can probably rule that out.
Maybe a diaper? Probably not as he seems quite continent.
He can't be referring to a dick as based on his apparent appetites, I don't think, even considering his ego, that he'd call his own dick huge.
Maybe development? Like he gets turned on by immoral, gentrifying real estate development. When he sees small businesses and affordable housing torn down, displacing people and community, replaced by soulless high-rise offices or luxury housing with chain store retail below, he precums a gallon and orgasms in his brain?
No, that's Jeff Bezos.
Maybe doobie? Nah, I don't see him toking on anything, much less a "Huge D"-qualifying blunt.
If only I weren't so distracted by the large dildo he's wrecking his mancunt with, maybe I could figure out the mystery of the "Huge D." Oh well.
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29 Jan 2019
I have no idea who Ashland is, but he's making his appearance in his first video for MEN.com. And he's definitely caught my eye. It looks like this sexpot has been making the rounds on the fan sites, but from what I can see, this is his first professional video.
Ashland is 29 years old, handsome with beard, and sports a muscled and furry body. His profile says that he lives in San Diego, California. He appears in Puzzle Boy and fucks MEN.com veteran Will Braun. But I've seen amateur video of Ashland fucking himself with a dildo, so he appears to be versatile.
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27 Jan 2019
It's not every cocksucker who has a home gloryhole setup. And on top of that multiple cameras, including a view from the other side. I don't know what logically qualifies as behind the scenes of a gloryhole, but I'm guessing it's the view from the outside looking in.
When I think of the dream of being a homeowner, I immediately associate it with having a backyard gloryhole shed. And if he ever moves, I hope he hires Gloryholes On-the-Go Moving Company to transport his cum palace to his new backyard.
I consider this as important as when historical homes are sometimes moved to make way for ugly new buildings and roads. And even though a shed may sometimes be a bit rickety, his is sound and stable owing to the structural reinforcement generated by years and layers of dried ejaculate shellacking the walls and floor.
He can't swallow everything, even though he tries his damndest. And while it seems he takes being able to suck the cock in the first place as his reward, his one-time and regular visitors should install a tip jar. He needs the money to keep up his supply of kneepads. He goes through them like tissues.
Like Gloryhole Action? Watch This Cocksucker Working at His Gloryhole
27 Jan 2019
Here's a scene that Hung Young Brit filmed at Pride in a Manchester flat. This orgy has been going on for a while when this hung French lad shows up wanting to join in. He arrived just as 21-year-old Jay was getting his hole loaded by another guy. So the French guy jumps on Jay and rams his big dick into the lad's cummy hole and goes to work.
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26 Jan 2019
Aussie lovers Peter and Seb have gone away for the weekend, and with this pair that means lots of hot steamy fun. Seb sits on the edge of the bathtub while Peter kneels in the water and gulps his lover's cock. Seb reaches across his boyfriend's back and fingers his butt hole. Peter bends over the tub and begs his partner to fill his ass, Seb pushes every thick inch inside and pumps while his lover groans.
Come inside and see another amateur from Andy's Aussie Boys. Jay is a young lad with very dark, bushy pubes and some serious foreskin overhang.
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19 Jan 2019
If there were an Olympic event for self-sucking, he may have been disqualified as he admits he pumped beforehand. Oh wait, it's the Olympics. Cheating is normal. Oh wait, it's self-sucking. Pumping before is par for the course.
Still it's clear he would be fully capable of self-sucking without having pumped. But either way, his animalistically self-sufficient behavior would be quite appreciated on the big screens in a sports stadium.
I just can't figure out what he would wear to indicate what country he represented. And what is the flag of Kinksylvania? Or is it Kinkastan?
Judging by the vast numbers of giant Spandex clad bulges present at the Olympics, it would be quite competitive just to win one's national championship, guaranteeing the right to go to the Olympics in that sport.
As much as seeing the world's best compete, I also think seeing all the hoards of local, self-sucking competitors would be inspiring the way only sports can be. I think I would make an excellent commentator. Though I'd pretty much say nothing and just hold my mic down to the competitor's faces to catch the sweet sounds of suction.
The sport is all about the amateur glory. There's not that many professional opportunities for self-suckers. There are only so many donut and pretzel companies willing to pay talent for commercial endorsements.
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12 Jan 2019
Nothing like a cold and grey winter day to inspire an escape into beach porn. This aggressively naked, shameless sex fiend is giving us a glimpse into his aggressively naked, shameless sex life.
Positioning himself on a rocky hillside and preening like a proud peacock, he catches the interest (perhaps pre-planned) of the local wildlife. In this case, that is a muscle bear who likes to live the wild life by sucking cock in public.
Since the guy on the receiving end is wearing shades, it's not direct eye contact that makes this connection happen, but rather direct eye to cock contact. Then that's followed quickly by mouth to cock contact.
And since getting sucked isn't enough to please this peacock, he's got to jack himself off with the ocean as backdrop and an audible audience off to the side.
Just another day at the beach.
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5 Jan 2019
Here's a guy who knows how to use a bed. Sure, sleep's a thing, but really laying back and jacking off is pretty much the point. And being naked except for athletic socks.
When people do those black light tests on hotel room sheets, it's amazing they aren't entirely cum-soaked, even after having gone through the wash.
This guy is probably at home though, considering the camera set up and light streaming in. So the stage is set for him to masturbate until he lets out some cum hands free. He shows expert restraint in that moment.
Because he knows he's going to regrasp himself in a moment and work out what remains inside him. I'm sure he'd also be an expert conversationalist at dinner, if by dinner you mean he takes all his clothes off except his socks and masturbates into the mashed sweet potatoes.
If you run into him in public, I suggest the compliment "You look really good with cum on your beard."
While that doesn't feature in this video, I'm assuming it does in others. The guy can't keep it in.
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29 Dec 2018
He's so methodical about all this. Soap up. That's the real shower part. Then fuck a Fleshjack, pull out and squirt. I wonder if this is the 100th time he's done this or the 400th. He has needs after all.
When his shower is over, I wonder if he retires to his bed and starts masturbating. Maybe he has Fleshjacks stationed at the ready around his home. Including, hopefully, one in the guest bedroom.
Of all those HGTV shows like House Hunters and its spin-offs, plus all the remodeling shows, you'd think there were some folks who were kinky fuckers who were looking for a place with a perfect set up for a dungeon or other sex room. Houses are generally not staged with fresh cookies and Fleshjacks in the kitchen.
The closest they get is when there is a large shower or hot tub that is clearly designed for more than one person, and they joke about all fitting in there, or having a party. But they don't mean that kind of party. Ha ha.
Or maybe when people talk about wanting a "man cave," beyond the obvious acknowledgment that it's good for couples to have alone time, I wonder if that urge for the perfect, out of the way room to watch sports on a big screen TV in peace is really about watching porn on a big screen TV in peace.
So I hope this shower jacker is a real estate agent on the side in real life and he gives me a tour in the future. He'd leave out cookies and Fleshjacks for sure. And hopefully leave his big cock hanging out of his dress pants while he gives me a tour.
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22 Dec 2018
Screw all the flowery self-help books and spiritual exploration TV shows. Want a true vision of self-love? Here you go.
It involves getting intensely enamored of how one looks in a pair of wonderfully obscene cut-off shorts and obscenely wonderful thong. Add some brightly lit, oiled-up muscle and you get an out of control, aggressively exhibitionist sex pig who fucks himself like a sweet and demanding lover would.
The higher-ups at the company that makes his lube should give him a sponsorship. And his apartment cleaner should give him a thank you card for paying their way through medical school. I sure hope he has hardwood floors.
Catch how he's watching himself on a monitor? That screen is so blown out with vibrantly X-rated pixels, he probably goes through as many monitors as he does bottles of lube.
If only I had some evidence of his conversational abilities, we'd be a perfect pair. I'd even do his laundry for him. It may be filthy, but it only weighs three ounces.
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19 Dec 2018
Dirty old pornographer Clay has been waiting a long time to bag this guy. He first met Elijah Sexton about nine months ago and tried to convince him to do some photos. But Elijah was only interested in banging chicks on camera. They played texting tag with Clay saying "hi" every once in a while and Elijah occasionally texting back. Then finally, Elijah hit up Clay asking if he could come and show off his stuff. I guess his foray into straight porn wasn't going so well. You won't believe what happened next.
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15 Dec 2018
There's something spectacular about the combo of smooth body and facial stubble. While this guy may be naturally smooth, it's also possible he shaves his body down then gets so turned on by himself he gives up on shaving his face while he masturbates for days on end.
That could explain his totally glazed over look. And his shamelessness to show where his cum ends up. Spoiler alert: in his mouth. Self-sucking tends to result in cum in the mouth. It's a known and documented side effect.
He also manages to press the head of his cock to his anus because why not? Though he does forget to completely fist himself, go down on a dildo and fuck a cantaloupe. And I applaud him on forgetting the last one because food should be eaten not fucked. Though people who eat food should be fucked if they want.
But there's no waste here. Just sort of wasted looking show off masturbation and a curved cock that might not have started out that way but gravitational and hormonal forces have angled and curved it toward its owners holes, resulting in a curve not unlike the curvature of the universe.
Then he cums in his mouth. Not a loud big bang but you know he's feeling it. And he wants you to feel it too.
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9 Dec 2018
Do you have a crazy sock fetish? Then take a look at Finn Wright with his wild striped socks. If not, come inside anyway, he looks sexy in his pink Authentic Apparel fitted boxers. This 20-year-old Brit stands six-feet tall and he's got a chiseled, athletic body with just the tiniest treasure trail peeking above the top of his jeans. But when he pulls on the waistband of those briefs, it looks like he's got a nice bush.
For a month now, English Lads has been teasing us with this straight lifeguard and his geeky smile, but this week, he's finally appearing in his first video wanking his uncut cock.
Watch Finn Wright Jacking Off - He Cums All Over His Abs!
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8 Dec 2018
Isn't this what you do every day? Plug yourself on camera with a dildo and ejaculate on your feet? No? Well, that's fine because that's what this guy is for. It's important everyone find their purpose in life.
I'm sure he does other things in life though, like volunteering for Habitat for Humanity. While everyone else is working together to build housing for people with none, he'll be right by their side, plugging himself on camera with a dildo and ejaculating on his feet.
Or possibly he volunteers for a beach cleanup organization. While everyone else is working together to remove refuse from the beach in an effort to minimize damage to the environment and harm to animal and plant life in and out of the ocean, he'll be right by their side, plugging himself on camera with a dildo and ejaculating on his feet.
Though, to be fair, maybe he volunteers for the NDFECA. That's the National Dildo and Feet Exhibitionists Council of America. With such an important organization, you'd think his focus at council meetings would be plugging himself on camera with a dildo and ejaculating on his feet.
But actually, he's just responsible for bringing snacks, making coffee and taking meeting minutes. And, most importantly, not ejaculating on the snacks, coffee or minutes. He hasn't succeeded yet but everyone has appreciated his attempts.
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1 Dec 2018
His asshole is fine after this. He just has his breakfast and moves on with his day, likely skipping rope and going on a long bicycle ride afterwards. While most of us would be exhausted and drained, I think to him this is a cup of coffee.
A long, hard, thick, demanding cup of coffee.
And if you're confused about what you're seeing here, his video title spells it out quite well. "HUGE MASSIVE MONSTER DILDO FUCK CUM GAY ARSE" says it all. And is an example not just of asshole stuffing, but keyword stuffing.
He definitely wants this video to turn up in searches for huge dildo and massive dildo and monster dildo and, my favorite, monster gay. Considering some of the people who look at gay porn rather dislike gay people politically, they will at least have an excuse that if they're caught searching for "monster gay" it's because they wanted proof gays are monsters.
Though all this video proves is the dildo is a monster and the guy knows how to make friends with a monster. Flash to him taking the dildo out the night before for a seductive dinner at a local mid-priced restaurant, and the dildo enjoying perusing the salad bar. The dildo needed to build up its strength and power for the workout it's facing.
The dildo's named is Fred, but you knew that. Fred the huge massive monster dildo who likes to fuck gay arse. But you can just call him Fred.
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