Discovering The Real Luke

Hey everyone, a bonus Sunday chapter because I didn't get a chance to upload it yesterday but just wanted to let you know that it might be a week before I can get another chapter online with a few things happening this week.

Home Time

Hearing AJ say that as he heads out the door for work, leaves me feeling weird because I never thought that he would say those words so bluntly and not in a situation with this. I want to keep talking to him but he’s gone to work so I can’t talk to him about what happened this morning and whether it was something that he wanted to say straight away or just came out with things.

I sit back on the couch but my mind struggles to focus on doing any school work which I don’t have too much to do thankfully so I head down to the gym and get a workout in. Standing there looking at myself in the mirror, I take a minute to reflect on things and how far I’ve changed.

When I first moved into Westvale, I barely weighed 70kg and was slim and athletic but barely any muscle and definitely no abs which now I’ve got an amazing six-pack which I love to rub and I can’t help but rub them and take a selfie. Every change I’ve made has been for the better and I know there are a few more that I want to make because looking at AJ, I’ve realised that I want to get a tattoo and a few piercings as well even if AJ doesn’t have them.

Working out my legs, after doing some lifting I feel really good about things and take a quick shower at the gym and go and get changed. While I’m at the gym, I see a familiar but not so friendly face in the gym as I decide whether it’s a good idea or not to talk to him or not. Eventually, my sense of friendliness takes over and I walk over to him.

“Hey man, thought it was you, how you going?” looking across, the face is kind of surprised that I want to talk to him and I get the sense of trepidation as he doesn’t know how to deal with me because we’ve never really talked.

Standing there with his shirt off and his smooth body showing, I put my hand out to show that I’m not a threat and he reluctantly shakes it. “Oh, hey Luke, just finished up?” he says as I nod.

“Yeah, wanted to take a break from studying and came down here for a little while,” I say trying to build a rapport. “I get that, I love to come down here on a Friday morning and just work out and get a workout in because it’s pretty quiet,” he says as I smile and just hope that he drops his boundaries around me.

I let him get ready for his workout as I watch him checking me out a fair bit which makes me smile knowing that I’m attracting some attention. As I head out of the locker room, I get stopped for a moment “It was good of you to chat with me man” he says I can see some regret in the way that he acts.

“No worries Cam, I’m always happy to have a chat and I don’t hold any animosity toward anyone because we’re all unique people,” I say as he smiles and pats me on the back as I head out of the gym. Walking out of the gym, I hope that it has broken down some of the boundaries that have appeared between us because despite watching him trying to suck up to Amy, I can see that there is a good but troubled person in Cameron.

I change my clothes at home and then quickly head out again at the spur of the moment heading down to get both ears and my nipples pierced. This is all something that I’ve thought about but just wanted to do since moving to the city.

Getting them done, I look at different tattoo designs as well before deciding to head home and talk to AJ about doing it because I know that I’m absolutely certain about getting one. At home, I just play PlayStation for a while before texting AJ

1:43 pm “Hey man, how’s your day?”

I don’t get a reply for a while and when I do it’s not really much of a response given what happened this morning which is something that I wish I could know more about but it was such a sudden comment and I get it wasn’t really how he wanted to say it.

2:25 pm: “Busy, will talk to you when I get home”

That’s all AJ’s reply is which is not what I wanted but I knew that he was meeting with some potential high profile clients which is a big deal for him. After finishing playing the PS5, I do some more tattoo research and realise that I’m actually quite turned on by Nath’s leg tattoo and think that it’s something that I want.

A few hours later, AJ comes home looking pretty tired and I’ve already started for dinner and I don’t want to bring the elephant in the room out which we have been tiptoeing all over, especially in the last few weeks and then the tension. “Hey bro, how was your day?” I ask as he looks at my laptop where I’ve been looking up tattoo designs and he looks across at me.

“Exhausting but really good to get some potential clients and potentially some backing to build up the business,” he says still looking at my laptop looking at the tattoo designs and in particular the owl design that I’ve clicked on because we used to have an Owl that lived in the shed at the farm and then I have a stuffed Owl toy that I take everywhere.

AJ looks at it “You actually keen on getting a tattoo?” he says to me as I nod cooking dinner as he still hasn’t noticed that I’ve got two ear studs in my ears right now as well as the two nipple bars. “Yeah, I have been thinking about it for a while but honestly, I don’t know if I want it on my arm or on my leg”.

The surprise goes over AJ’s face as even he’s surprised about me thinking about it because we’ve never talked about getting tatts. I finish cooking dinner and dish it up as he finally notices the ear studs in. “Hey you got your ears pierced, you look really good with them,” he says as I sit down and lift up my shirt to show him that it wasn’t the only thing that I got done today.

“Holy shit they look hot,” he says as our conversation is more like when we were in the early stages of our brofriends stage. I enjoy this back because there was plenty of tension between the two of us last night and this morning despite finishing the conversation.

Sitting there talking about the tattoo, AJ reminds me of the permanency of the tattoo and I nod how much I want one and he says that he will help me book it through his guy who is one of the top tattoo artists. We don’t bother talking about what happened this morning and whilst disappointing, I’m actually pretty comfortable with that as we keep talking and just chilling as friends more than anything more than that.

The next morning, AJ wakes me up and asks me about the tattoo so that he can tell me that his guy Bryce has free time today if I want to get it done and I tell AJ that I do. Heading down to Bryce’s studio, I tell him about what I want and he shows me a design that he’s been working on that would sit across my forearm.

I agree and sit there as I get my first ever tattoo and it’s quite an intricate design that takes plenty of time to work and Bryce does such an amazing job with the design that is mostly around the eyes but I just love the design and look at it proudly and it will work in a full sleeve. The next few days are about making sure the tattoo looks ok and everything settles with it as I really love it and think that it is one of the best decisions that I have made.

Life is pretty tame for the next week or so before it gets to decision time about what I want to do to visit my family and what I want to say to them. Sitting with AJ, he keeps telling me that I don’t need to do anything that I want to like coming out or anything which I want to do.

It’s the Friday night before AJ is heading up to visit his family and he comes into my room as I’m packing a bag to go with him. “What have you said to your parents?” he asks me as I sit on my bed and shake my head.

“Nothing, I want to surprise them because if I tell them I’m coming then there are either going to be making a big deal about things or they are going to do everything so that I don’t come and I want them to meet with me,” I say as AJ isn’t fully convinced about my plan but he goes with it.

I sit there and bring up the issue that we haven’t talked about for a while “Should we talk about where we sit if I do decide to tell them everything?” I ask AJ as he gulps not sure how to answer.

“I guess we probably should tell them something about us because it’s pretty obvious,” I say as he nods and sits down on my bed and looks at me. “Well yeah and I’m surprised that you have never said anything about what I said after our argument that morning,” he says referring to the fact that he told me he loved me.

“Well it’s pretty obvious how we feel about each other, I didn’t know how to react to what you said and take things more serious,” I say as we look at each other and just nod about things as we both think.

AJ starts a sentence but then changes tact for a moment “Why do your parents need to know anything more than us being friends because right now?” he says which makes me a bit upset but then I understand where he is coming from.

“Yeah true, they don’t need to know what we do other than the fact that I’m gay although they might make some judgments about us,” I say as AJ laughs and realises something. “You know that they don’t know I’m gay remember because we told them that I was straight?” he says pretending to gag at the thought of being straight.

We come up with the plan and decide to head off in the morning after we both go to the gym together. The next morning, AJ and I wake up together as we slept in my bed together and he kisses me on the forehead before moving to my lips.

“How are you feeling about going out there?” he says as I smile and feel excited about things in all honesty as we get up and shower together before skipping the gym. We both get ready as I get my first real moment of nervousness as I don’t know whether to go long sleeves to cover my tattoo or go short sleeves and with just a jumper or jacket.

In the end, AJ tells me to wear the jumper so that I can take it off at any point rather than getting too hot and overheating as I’m there. Driving AJ’s car is always a good thing because it’s much newer than anything that I’ve ever driven but I really love it because it’s got all the modern equipment.

“So, tell me what’s happening exactly with everything that we’re doing and with your family?” I ask AJ as he looks a bit nervous because we’ve talked all about my family and how we’re dealing with them but never really talked about how he’s going to deal with his family.

Sitting there here laughs “I’ve not actually thought about it, I mean I’ve told them about getting a new roommate who’s my best friend but at the same time I’ve never really thought about what I would say”.

The drive is pretty good in AJ’s car even though he is a front seat driver with his imaginary brake pedal as I drive what I think is pretty safe. AJ sits there thinking about things as we take the 3 hours plus drive stopping off at the truck stop along the way.

“My driving is not that bad,” I say to AJ as he laughs and we stop to get some lunch at the diner there before setting off to Franklin. “Your driving is actually pretty good, but my car is the closest thing to my baby and I don’t just let anyone use it,” he says as I laugh. “Well, it’s not your hole then,” I say winking at him as he hits me as I say that at a level where anybody could possibly hear us but we don’t get any looks which is ok.

Enjoying lunch, there are a couple of familiar faces but after being away for so long, nobody recognises me which is good because I don’t want to have too many awkward conversations with people before word gets to my parents. Sitting there, I decide to give my parents a phone call about my coming over which I wasn’t going to do but I don’t want it to be in vain.

I get my phone out and sit there for a minute nervous about ringing them before I put my phone down as a sudden wave of nervousness and sickness comes over me about everything. I’ve managed to drive three hours here and I can’t deal with the last half-hour.

“I can’t do this now man… I’ll just go to the station and head home,” I say as AJ grabs my hand and looks at me. “Luke babe, you managed to get this far in life and you’ve made some absolutely massive decisions that you’ve handled amazingly,” he says to me as I nod.

“You’ve moved to a new city, you’ve explored your sexuality, you’ve started college and are top of the class, you’ve gotten piercings, you’ve got a tattoo, you’ve come out and hardest of all, you’ve fallen in love,” AJ says as I nod thinking about how much change I’ve had in over the six months.

I know that I can do anything if I put my mind to it but this is arguably the hardest thing that I have ever done especially given that I’m meeting my parents on equal footing this time and not in a position where I’m lying in a hospital bed needing their support.

Finishing off lunch and sitting there for a few minutes while AJ finishes off his milkshake that he is enjoying like a 10-year-old again, I think about ringing Mum and Dad but decide not to and I decide that I’ll show AJ around the town first.

Driving into Franklin, we go up the main street “Where’s the rest of it?” he says laughing as we drive down the main street where everything is. “This is it, man, there are a few shops on Hope Street but this is the town essentially,” I say as even though AJ is a country boy, he never realised Franklin was actually such a tiny town.

We pull up and head to the park, there are not many people around at this time of day and sit down on the bench as I put the hood on my jacket so nobody recognises me. “This is such a quiet little town, I can see why you wanted to leave,” AJ says as I see someone come towards us and I head to the public toilets.

I come back out and find AJ sitting there and the person gone which is a relief “What did they want?” I ask him as he just sits there. “Nothing, they just thought we might have been lost or had some car trouble,” he says as I nod knowing everybody is a busybody and there’s a distrust of strangers which is disguised by concern.

“What did you say?” I ask him wondering about what he would’ve said and the tone it would have been in. “Nothing really, just told her that we are headed to McKenzie Falls and taking the back way for the views,” he says as I nod “She told me to call into the bakery to try a pie or cake and then wandered off”.

I realise that must have been Mrs Mayberry who is a complete busybody and would share the news fast about me being in town if she recognised me and saw me despite being one of the nicest people around, which is an odd contrast. I show AJ the cinema where I used to work and then the school where I used to go to, showing him a lot more about my life than I was expecting.

We wander and head back to the car as I drive AJ somewhere that was special to me before I decide whether I want to call my parents or not. I drive a few minutes south of town out to what is a spot out near the lake that is pretty quiet.

“This was my chill-out spot,” I say to AJ as he looks at it “I used to walk down here which was about 15 minutes away from home when I needed space,” I say smiling at him as he looks around and puts his arm around me. “Was this where you used to go to fantasise?” he asks me as I nod but don’t mean it in the way he was thinking.

“Well yeah, just about how life would be different if I grew up somewhere else or lived a different life,” I say as he kisses me on the cheek as I sit there. “You read my story about the Guy and the Lagoon, who finds himself transported to a new life where he can be anything,” I say as he nods, it was my Year 11 project that actually got nominated for a National award but I came fifth.

AJ nods “Yeah, it was amazing guessing that guy was you?” he says as I shake my head. “Nah, none of the characters is me,” AJ’s expression says otherwise even if he doesn’t use words.

“It was just the lagoon that was the inspiration and sitting writing the story at sunset used to bring the inspiration,” I say thinking about it and maybe realise that it was about me and I projected myself into the story.

Sitting there for a bit longer, AJ looks at his watch “It’s nearly 3, do you want to go to your parents now?” he says with no pressure on me but reassuring me that I can do this. I get up off the bench and nod “Yeah, it’s now or never” I say as we get up and I drive to my family’s place.

Driving through town and then just outside for about 5 minutes, this is like an adventure for AJ as we drive around and I show him the sights and then pull up out the front of our farm. “Is this the place?” he asks as I just nod and gulp as he puts his hand on mine.

“There is no reason you can’t do this, look at you and how much of an adult you are,” he says to me as I nod but still worried that my parents will do something that forces me to stay or something will happen.

AJ looks across at me and just smiles “They can’t make you stay there because you’re an adult and I’ll be going inside as well so they can’t keep me hostage… can they?” he says with a nervous chuckle as I give him a playful shrug.

The gate is open which means I can drive up to the house and part of me hopes that there isn’t a car parked outside which means nobody is home but both Mum and Dad’s cars are parked out the front which is good and means that at least my brother isn’t home either.

AJ and I walk up to the house and he rubs my back, walking up to the house, AJ pats me on the back and reassures me that everything will be ok. I walk up and knock on the door, hoping that nobody hears the door but it’s not long before I hear the footsteps.

“I’ll get it Fran” I hear Dad’s voice as he opens the door “Yes?” he says before he realises that it’s me and AJ standing there “Oh Luke and Alex… come in,” he says letting us in which is a good thing as Mum calls out as we walk out to the living room.

“Hey, Mum,” I say as we head into the living room and she looks at me surprised, looking me up and down with a look that I can’t decide whether it’s a good thing or not as she looks at what I’m wearing which is my black jacket with a black T-shirt underneath and then my jeans.

“Luke, why didn’t you call us and tell us you were coming to visit? We could’ve organised the family to come and see you, hold on I’ll call everyone and your Dad can help me” she says as I stop her as she notices my studs.

Her look is one of annoyance but I think seeing me and me coming to visit is probably outweighing all the negatives at this stage. “Actually, I just wanted to see you two this afternoon,” I say as we sit down and Mum begrudgingly allows AJ to sit down as well as I can tell that she doesn’t approve so much of both of us being there because I think she thought she might be able to convince me.

“So how are things, Luke?” Dad asks as Mum is still looking me up and down like she is counting the things in her head that she doesn’t like about me right now, which I know there are going to be a lot more shortly.

I smile at Dad “Pretty good actually, been working hard sitting at top of the class at the moment at Uni so that’s good, working at the shop has been good otherwise not much has been happening other than AJ teaching me some of his graphic design work” I say as Dad nods and Mum looks happy.

“That’s really good to hear Luke that you’re taking studies seriously with all the distractions,” Mum says as I start to get annoyed and both AJ and Dad start to step in when they see me getting annoyed which I appreciate.

Dad changes the topic “So what brought you out here at this time of day to visit?” he asks curiously which is probably a harder question to answer given that I haven’t bothered to visit them in all the time I’ve lived here.

“Well AJ is heading up to his family’s place in McKenzie Falls for a family event tomorrow and he wanted to show me the town so I asked if we could stop in here because it’s on our way and I wanted to show him Franklin and see you guys,” I say as Dad smiles, his reaction to this visit is a lot better than I thought it was going to be although Mum’s is about what I thought.

She doesn’t say too much as I can see her trying to bite her tongue not happy with me but I don’t care because right now it hasn’t descended into World War Three which I was expecting. “Do you need a place to stay tonight, You can use your room Luke and Alex can stay in the spare room” Mum says as AJ steps in.

“It’s fine, thank you, Mrs Munro, we’re staying at a motel up in McKenzie Falls,” AJ says which allows me to get up and use the bathroom as I leave my family with him which is still a risky proposition. I head via my room which I see is untouched because I can see how much hope my parents have that I will come home.

I wander in and sit on my old bed and have a look around, I’ve never really missed home since moving to Westvale, I’ve missed my family but never actually missed living here until now as I sit on my bed. A few minutes later, I look at everything around my room and take my jacket off and just lay back on my bed forgetting that my tattoo is showing as I take a moment to reflect on things in here.

Looking at the shelf, I look at the different trophies I have for various things whether it be for sports but mostly for academic achievements. Sitting on one of the shelves, I see a picture of me and Hayley that was only a few months ago at our Year 12 Formal where we went together and got voted the cutest couple and most likely to get married which made me feel good then but it makes me embarrassed to think that everybody thought of us that way.

I grab my phone out of my pocket and dial in a number that even after so long I still remember off by hear and write a text.

“Hey Hayles, It’s Luke, just wanted to check in to see how you were doing”

With how annoyed she probably is, I don’t know if it was a good idea to text her but I did promise to keep catching up with her and even though I haven’t because I wanted to keep space from her because I know how upset she was.

Standing there looking and reading a lot of my stuff on the shelf, Dad walks up behind me and frightens me as he notices the tattoo on my arm. “This is where you’ve gotten to,” he says as I sit there and look at him “Yeah, I just needed a minute,” I say as he nods and sits down on the bed.

“That’s an interesting thing on your arm,” Dad says to me as I realise that he is talking about the tattoo “Did Alex talk you into it?” he says as I roll my eyes. “I made my own decision to get it I’m an adult remember?” I say as Dad stops me.

“I know you are and I’m ok with it, it’s your choice to get a tattoo and I’ve got to say that it looks good,” he says smiling at me as I look surprised “I’m not your mother and honestly it’s just easier to not say things at a time,” he says as he goes to hug me as we sit there and I tell him a bit more about what’s going on and we talk about the Footy for a bit and how he gets jealous that I can go to more games than he does even though I don’t tell him that I don’t really go.

“Is it a good idea to keep AJ down there with Mum?” I ask as he laughs “I’m not sure but they were actually talking about the Royal Diaries” he says as I laugh because it’s a new Netflix show that AJ is obsessed with as well as Mum obviously.

“AJ loves that show, he’s watched it so many times but I just can’t get the hype of it,” I say as Dad shakes his head as if to say that he doesn’t either. We get up and instead of heading back to the living room, he takes me out to see the animals that I’ve missed especially our old cow Maisy.

We only spend ten minutes out there as Dad and I keep talking before he says something to me that surprises me but makes the visit all the more worthwhile.