The Village

Seth’s Perspective

It took me several seconds to respond but I finally muttered, “Father? Um, what can I do for you?” It was a cold, stale greeting but what the hell was a going to say to the man I hadn’t spoken to since my sophomore year of college. I had written him off years ago.

“Seth, it’s good to hear your voice. How are you?” He asked. Small talk? Really? After six years of silence, he calls to ask how I was. What was next, the weather?! I wasn’t going to engage.

“Why are you calling me Father?” I asked coldly.

“It’s your mother” he said with a sigh. “She had a stroke a couple of months ago and has had several complications since. It doesn’t look like she will be with us much longer” he said. “I tried calling you and your siblings earlier, but none of the numbers I have for any of you seem to work.” There was no surprise there, we all changed our phone numbers or blocked my parents years ago so they couldn’t contact us. It may have been vindictive and petty, but after several failed attempts to build a relationship with them, we all gave up, and frankly life seemed better without them. “I googled you and was finally able to trace you to this office. I figured you’d be the most likely to take my call.” Father then went on to explain mother’s current condition, they had started Hospice care at our childhood home in Texas and she wanted to see us all before she died. I mostly listened. He ended the call with “She just wants to be surrounded by her children when she leaves this world. Is that so much to ask?” In its simplest form, no… of course not. In the context of our troubled past… yes. Yes, it was. It was a helluva lot to ask. She didn’t seem all to eager to be surrounded by her children over the years when we all made our attempts to connect. I took fathers phone number, and promised to pass the information on to my siblings before hanging up. He asked me to hurry.

I just sat at my desk for a moment trying to process what had just happened and contemplated my next move. I decided to call Eli, I told him about the call and all he could say was “what the fuck, bro?” We decided to call a family Zoom meeting and I texted a link to all my siblings. At 5:00PM we were all on screen discussing how to handle the parents we had written off years ago (to be fair, they wrote us off first). After the pleasantries and a rundown of what Father had told me, Brian said, “I think we should go.”

Brad instantly objected, “I don’t know. Seth, how real is this?” He asked. “Are we sure this isn’t just a bullshit story to get us all to Texas?” It sounded like a ridiculous theory, but Brad distrusted my father and he had every reason to… we all did. The six of us talked through the situation, Brian and Theresa felt we should go, Brad and Mary were against it, and me and Eli were both on the fence. I had always wanted a relationship with my parents but got burned out trying. It seemed that whenever I made an effort, I got hurt… we all did. The discussion was loud and heated, but we finally agreed that we would all go, Just the siblings, no spouses or families, there was no need to expose them to the insanity, none of us had even spoken with our parents since we tried to get together for Thanksgiving my Sophomore year of college almost six years ago so we had no clue what to expect.

The next couple of days were a whirlwind of activity as I did my best to get as many sessions in as possible before I left and tie up any loose ends. Rodney and BA had things under control at The Village, and Dr. Ayers (my mentor in Wisconsin) offered to do virtual sessions with anyone who needed help. I was most worried about Maverick, he was fresh off the streets (or out of the dunes I guess) and needed a lot of attention, we had been meeting almost daily. I introduced Rodney and Dr. Ayers so he could connect our clients to him if he needed to. It was Tuesday night; my flight was leaving Wilmington at 6AM Wednesday morning and I couldn’t sleep. I hadn’t slept for shit since my father called me, we had been in touch twice since his initial call to me, I even spoke with my mom once (she sounded awful). It all seemed so weird, my parents had been out of my life for years and suddenly, BAM they’re back.

Petunia was passed out in her bed and Zach was passed out on our bed next to me, they were both sawing wood but I was tossing and turning like waves in the sea. I could feel Zach’s hot, naked leg touching mine. His skin was so soft and smooth and his little blonde leg hairs were tangling with mine. It probably wasn’t exactly appropriate for me to be horny with everything that was going on, but I was. We were both lying on our backs so I rolled onto my side so I could look at his face… He was so damn, handsome… no, he was beautiful. His face was so chiseled and perfect, I couldn’t resist planting an adoring peck on his cheek as he snored away. I kissed his lips and he stirred a bit, so I moved to his chest giving his nipples a tongue lashing until he started to wriggle a bit. My hand moved stealthily under the covers and reached for his soft, manhood which was lounging comfortably on his thigh. It stiffened at my touch and a little smile adorned his face as his snore turned into an appreciative moan. He started to wake up, “hey” he said in a sleepy tone, “What’s going on?” he asked with a grin as his sleepy tone shifted to seductive.

“I can’t sleep” I responded as I snaked my way under the cover and found his shaft with my tongue.

“Well, I can” He said in flimsy protest as he linked his fingers and put his hands under his head getting ready to enjoy the ride.

“Not anymore” I said as I went to work awaking the sleeping giant and lifting its heft with my hand. It was already impressive in its flaccid state but I was focused on making it grow. My lips and tongue bathed it with soft kisses and licks bringing it to life. He went from soft and warm to hot and hard in my hand and it felt fucking wonderful. I inhaled, taking in the scent of his clean sweat covered balls, damn I went from insomnia to exuberance in mere seconds as I took him down my throat. Inch-by-inch his cock disappeared into my oral grotto as moans escaped his beautiful, full lips. I pushed the covers off so I could see his magnificent mug encompassed in a look of heavenly rapture. My mouth moved up and down and my tongue twisted and contorted around his now rigid, veiny shaft. The texture titillated my tongue and spurred my lust as I moved faster and faster up and down the perfect specimen of manhood. The once-sleeping Zach was a whimpering, squirming bag of hormones now as he begged for more. His hands met the back of my head and his hips thrust upwards as he tried to bury every morsel of his being in me. My breathing got heavier and my strokes faster as I sought to lure his swimmers out of their habitat and down my gullet.

“Yeah, fuck yeah, right there” Zac h breathlessly begged as he continued to pummel my face. With all his might he pushed my head down and gave one final thrust as he grunted and unloaded down my throat, rewarding me for my passionate efforts.

Before I knew it, Zach smacked my ass, maneuvered around, and threw my body into position so the I was now on my back and he was between my legs. He gobbled my drumstick like it was thanksgiving and he was a starving pilgrim. Within minutes I was face fucking him and yearning for sweet release, Zach backed off me to catch his breath at the perfect moment and my load landed on his beautiful face… there was no way for me to stop it. After I had convulsed and shook the last drop out of me, Zach came up for a kiss and I licked his face clean of my pearly essence.

“Well, that should hold you until you get back” He said with a grin, then spooned me and fell back asleep. I just laid there in his strong, loving arms until the alarm went off.

I was up and ready to go to the airport by 4AM, technically I never slept. Riley got up to say goodbye, gave me a hug, then gave me a second one to give to Eli. Zach carried my bags out to the GTI and loaded it up, we decided it would be better for him to drop me off than leave a car at the airport since I had no clue how long I’d be there. Zach walked me into the terminal and we said goodbye at security. The line was short and I could’ve easily waited another hour before leaving home and still have made it, but I was there and ready to board bright and early. Zach watched me walk towards my gate until I was out of site, I did NOT want to go. My three brothers had gotten a flight out of Phoenix Tuesday morning and were already there and had been texting me nonstop. My sisters were due to arrive a couple of hours after me, we had coordinated everything to make it as simple as possible. Eli was picking me and my sisters up at the airport, he and I would have a couple of hours to kill before they got there.

I boarded the plane and passed the frick out, I was anxious and exhausted from lack of sleep. When I got to Dallas, I went to the baggage claim and before I could text Eli, there he was with that smirk. “Hey Baby brother” he said as I approached.

“This is from the princess” I said as I hugged him.

He let out a little laugh then asked, “You okay?”

I sighed “Yup. You?” He nodded. “So how crazy is it?” I said knowing he understood what I was asking. The baggage carousel started up behind us and we moved closer to look for my bag as we talked.

“It’s fucking strange being in that house” he said. “Mother can’t use her left side; she’s basically lying in a hospital bed in the den off the living room waiting to die,” then he let out a heavy sigh. “We’ve been taking turns sitting with her, holding her hand, and talking. She’s weak but has a million questions” I nodded and Eli kept talking, I could feel his anxiety. “She’s trying to catch up on everything she missed. I told her about marrying Zach’s sister and moving to North Carolina and staying with you, she said she was happy that you and I had each other.”

“Yeah, well, that’s one thing I agree with her on” I said in a bitchy tone. This whole thing was just awful to me. I should’ve been sad and nostalgic, instead I was bitter and anxious… I was not looking forward to seeing them. “How’s father?” I asked.

“Amazingly good” Eli said. “He’s been great actually. He’s been pleasant, filled the fridge for us before we got there, and last night after mother fell asleep, we all sat on the deck, had a few beers, caught up, and even laughed. After a couple of beers, he started to apologize, but Brad cut him off and told that it wasn’t the time to drudge up the past, we just needed to be together.”

“Wow” Is all I could say. Brad carried so much venom for my father and frankly who could blame him after what he did. The psychologist in me questioned it, “I’m not sure how healthy it is to just ignore it, but if that’s what it takes for him to cope…”

“I think Brad’s finally letting go of it” Eli said, I kind of rolled my eyes. Brad hated my father with a passion and him letting go of it seemed unrealistic. “Seriously, he seems okay with being here. Even Brian said so.” My brother Brian was two years older and a Psychologist like me… we were supposed to have all the answers I guess, but I was clueless on how to deal with this. My bags came around and we grabbed them then found a nice place to sit and have breakfast while we waited for my sisters. Eli told me he was ready for the big move and that one of Bubba’s buddies had work for him until he passed all the tests and got his certifications. Apparently, he had a big come to Jesus discussion with Riley over finances when she was in Phoenix and she’d been pretty good about spending lately. Like I’ve said before, she just had some growing up to do. It was good to just hang out with Eli and talk, he made me feel better about everything… he always did that. We were so caught up in conversation that we lost track of time.

“Shit, Mary and Theresa’s flight should’ve landed like ten minutes ago” he said as he looked at his phone. He paid the check while I gathered my bags and we made our way back to baggage claim. We beat them there by a nanosecond. My sisters both screamed in excitement as they ran the last several feet to meet us. We hugged for what seemed like forever! Over the years my brothers and I got together for every holiday and occasion we could, and my sisters did the same out east (they lived near each other), but it had been a hot minute since the six of us were all in one place… I think it was our wedding? I couldn’t even remember. We grabbed their bags and piled into my father’s older Cadillac and made our way out of Dallas and into the suburb where we all grew up. On the drive Eli filled my sisters in on everything going at the house.

“So, how’s Brad doing?” Mary asked. If I had to rank our vitriol towards our parents, I’d rank Brad as number one, and Mary as number two. Mary had always been the quiet observer in the family, she took it all in. The girls didn’t get as much abuse as the boys did, but she remembers every verbal assault, every physical altercation; all of it gathered in her head to create this cloud of distain. Brad was the recipient of the worst treatment, but Mary was the most emotionally scarred.

“Surprisingly well” Eli said, then he repeated what he had told me earlier claiming once again that Brad seems to be letting go of it. I think Mary was disappointed, their hatred of my father had bonded them over the years. I know that sounds odd, but they say nothing brings people closer than a mutual enemy… my parents were that enemy for Brad and Mary. “I’ll warn you guys that mother looks awful. She looks like she’s aged thirty years since I saw her last and she can barely move. She’s helpless. We’ve been taking turns holding her hand and talking to her, she asks a million questions; she wants to know all that she’s missed. She apologized to me, and Brian. Brad said she tried to apologize to him but he cut her off.”

Brad’s behavior struck me as odd at first, he thwarted apologies from both my parents, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Once they open the discussion on the past, the wound is raw again. He’s twenty three again, with a needle in his neck, passed out in the back of a church van on his way to be straight-a-fied. I surmised that Brad was doing his damnedest to stay focused on the task at hand… ushering mother out of this life and figuring out what that means for our family. He was being the strong one as always.

It took about a half hour for us to make the trip to our childhood home. Eli pulled in the drive, the four of us got out of the Cadillac, and me and my sisters looked up at the house, took a deep breath and entered. Father greeted us awkwardly at the door. Brad was right behind us with warm hugs and a relieved look on his face, the troops had arrived. I could see Brian in the den holding my mother’s hand. “Are Seth and the girls here? Can I see them? Theresa, Mary, Seth?” Mother yelled weakly from her hospital bed and punctuated her question with a cough and a wheeze.

“We’re all here mother” Theresa yelled back as the three of us dropped our bags and went into the smallish den.

“You’re all here. You’re all really here” she said through her tears as the seven of us stood around her bed; we were all together for the first time in well over a decade. “I am honored you all came. I am SO sorry for… for… everything.”

“Shhhhh” Mary said as she stepped up and took her hand. Mary looked at Brad and he nodded as if giving her permission to let go of the hatred. Mary took a deep breath and sat in the chair next to the bed. Mother babbled on for a bit about how beautiful we all looked, there were regrets and apologies peppered into her compliments. Soon she engaged Mary in a discussion about all that has gone on in her life. She wanted to know about her husband, her daughter, everything… over a decade of missed moments. Mary pulled out her phone and showed her pictures as the rest of us filed out of the room leaving them alone to catch up. An hour or so later Mary emerged and announced that Mother was asleep. A few hours later when she woke up again, Theresa brought her a glass of lemonade and sat with her while the rest of us just hung out being a family… I had missed them all so much. Father was in the middle of the conversations and the joking. He was different, softer, more… more… more fucking human. He wasn’t talking about god, or religion, he wasn’t judging our conversations or restricting our language, or anything like he used to, he was just enjoying our company.

After a couple of hours Theresa came out, and I went in. “Seth. My baby boy” Mother said with a faint voice, “thank you for coming” then we exchanged pleasantries as she grabbed my hand. We just sat there, looking at each other for a while, she looked so old and fragile. I thought back to when I was a small child and she was the light of my world, oh how things had changed. “Look at you, so grown up” she said with tears as she looked me up and down and shook her head. “I’ve missed so much.” Eli had updated her on my life with Zach, our wedding, our move to North Carolina, our new home, my work with The Village and she wanted details on everything! She asked… no, she begged for pictures. I showed her wedding pics, before and after pics of the house, Petunia pics. She stopped at a picture of me, Eli, and the Halls in front of our house when they had first arrived in North Carolina to help us. She asked me a lot about the Halls, she seemed almost fixated on them and the relationship they had with Eli and me. I assumed she was a little jealous of them. She asked question after question about my life. We talked for literally hours. She asked a lot of questions about Zach and Riley and how they Hall’s treated Eli and I. “I’m glad all my children seem to have good families and good people around them” she said sadly, “I should have been part of all that.” The regret came through loud and clear as she faced the end of her life. I felt her squeeze my hand, “Can you ever forgive me?” She asked. I couldn’t, but I had to. How do I say no to a woman on her deathbed?

The words flowed from my mouth although I didn’t entirely believe them, “I forgive you” I whispered as I kissed her wrinkled cheek.

“Seth, look at me” she said in an almost inaudible whisper, her voice and hand both shaking. “I need you to promise me he won’t be alone after I’m gone.”

I looked at her, squeezed her hand, and reflected on the magnitude of that request. All I could do was shake my head “no.” 

“Seth, I know how hard you tried. I should have ended all of this at Thanksgiving six years ago when you gave us the chance, but I didn’t. I regret what I did to my family and I need you to make it right by your father. I know you still love him. Don’t let him be alone” She begged. ‘I had to make it right?’ I thought to myself. ‘Me?! They did this, not me, and now I have to make it right?’ But how the hell could I argue with someone on their death bed? I was so torn. She begged and pleaded for me to promise. I was backed into a corner so I finally promised her. “thank you” she whispered over and over. She was at peace; I was in torment. We just sat there until she fell asleep with a smile on her senescent face. I left the room quietly shutting the door behind me.

Brad, Brian, and Eli were supposed to find a hotel for all of us when they arrived the day before, but they stopped by the house first to see mother and ended up spending the night there. So, we all ended up staying at Mother and Father’s home. The place where we all grew up, the place where life was great… until it wasn’t. When we were growing up, we all shared rooms Brad and Brian, Theresa, and Mary, and Me with Eli. It was late when I left mother’s side and went up to my old room, Eli was already lying in bed and had just hung up with Riley. “Zach sends his love” he said. I just nodded as I stripped down to my boxer briefs, shut off the light, and slipped into the small bed where I used to dream as a child. “Are you okay?’ Eli asked. I didn’t respond… my mind was reeling. I had just promised my dying mother that I would reconcile with my father. Eli asked again, “Are you okay, Seth?” I remained silent. He reached over and turned on the lamp that sat on the nightstand between us and said, “What happened in there, Seth. Talk to me.”

I let out a heavy sigh, “She made me promise to reconcile with father and make sure he wasn’t alone.”

One of the best, yet most annoying qualities about Eli was that he had no filters. He just said what he thought. “Well, that was some unfair bullshit.” We were lying on our sides in our twin beds, facing each other. I couldn’t help but smile. “Seth, she had no right to put you in that position” he said in a low whisper.

Just then there was a light tap on our bedroom door, “Can I come in?” Brad’s voice whispered.

“It’s open” Eli said just loud enough to be heard.

Brad entered, “I couldn’t sleep and I heard you guys talking” Brad said taking a seat at the foot of my bed.

“Mother made Seth promise to reconcile with father and make sure he wasn’t alone.” Eli blurted out.

Brad put his hand firmly on my ankle which was snuggly buried under the old comforter, shook it and said, “That’s fucking heavy. How do you feel about that?” Before I could answer Brian, Theresa, and Mary all entered the tiny bedroom and took seat on the two tiny beds. No one could sleep. Eli updated everyone on the conversation, then Brad asked again, “so, How do you feel about it?”

I sighed, “Like she just pushed me in front of a moving train” I said. “I had blocked this place out of my mind for years, now BAM here I am being sucked back in.” I took a breath. “I love you guys, and no one knows better what I’ve been through than the five of you. We did pretty damn good without them, I am so afraid to let him back into my life.”

Mary was stretched out right next to me on the edge of my bed, her shoulder touching mine, and one foot on the floor. She kissed my cheek. “You owe her nothing, Seth.”

Theresa added, “She had no right to ask that of you. You tried harder than anyone to make them part of our lives and they thwarted every attempt.”

Brian had been silently taking it all in and finally spoke, “Forgiveness is custom made” he said. “It’s not something that you hold onto and randomly dole out. It’s made from scratch. Customized. Crafted it out of the pain of your past. It’s a precious gift, and it cannot be stolen. You need to give it willingly.” Brian was sage as he gave me permission to break my promise. “Maybe you can find a way to forgive him and let him in. Maybe not. And if not… that’s okay, Seth.” By now I was sobbing a little and Mary comfo0rted me with a hug and a kiss on the top of my head.

“She plays dirty, Seth” Mary whispered in my ear, “She’s a master manipulator and knows you always wanted to mend the fence, so she chose you. You owe her nothing.” The others all echoed her sentiment. The talk continued as we reminisced, talked about the inevitability of my mother’s passing, and what lies ahead for our father. Eventually everyone went back to their rooms, everyone except Mary… she fell asleep scrunched next to me in the tiny twin bed. I was awake all night thinking.

The next morning, we were all in the kitchen having coffee together when I snuck out to the deck to call Zach. “God, I miss you” I said as his sweet voice answered.

“I hate this house without you in it” he responded. “How’s it going so far?” I told him everything, ending with the forced promise to my mother.

“Well, Seth” Zach said trying to be the voice of reason. “You’re there. He’s there. Feel it out. Maybe he really has changed, if not you’ll know… your bullshit detector is finely tuned.” He was right, if things were ever going to change, it would be during this visit.

While we were talking, Brad came out to the deck and said, “Seth, we need you in here.” I hung up and followed Brad into the den where everyone was gathered around Mother as she took her last breath.

My mother left this world surrounded by her six children, and the husband that separated her from them.

 

To be continued…