The Village

Seth’s Perspective

What a fan-freaking-tastic Easter weekend spent with the kids and our chosen family. It took us forever to put the kids down Sunday night, and trying to get them to focus on getting ready for school Monday morning was an impossible task. They were on a sugar high and so preoccupied with everything Easter especially their brush with fame… meeting the Easter Bunny in-person. Damn, I loved seeing them so excited and happy. Later that day, Ms. Elkin was meeting us at the detention facility for Karen’s visitation with the kids. Izzy wanted to wear her Easter dress to show her momma, it took me, Zach, and Freddy about an hour to talk her out of it… she was not happy when I buckled her into her car seat in her regular clothes to take her to daycare.

It was my first solo trip in the Atlas and it felt surprisingly good. The SUV was higher up than my A4 and felt heavier to me… I felt safe behind the wheel. When we got to Freddy’s school The Principal greeted us as usual and noticed the new ride. I got out and unbuckled Freddy then stood next to the SUV trying to talk with The Principal for a moment, but Izzy wouldn’t shut up. Yelling to the Principal from her car seat “… an’ I wore pwetty shoes, and The Eas-er bunny bringed us candy, and I find eggs…”

I laughed at her excitement and rolled my eyes at Principal Ferris and said, “I pity Mrs. Mavis at the daycare, Izzy’ll talk her ear off today.”

He laughed, “And every teacher in this building will be going through the same hell today” he said with a laugh. “But I gotta say, Izzy seems happy, and I don’t think I have ever heard her speak before.” He was right, her speech was getting so much better and she always seemed happy, and that was enough for me.

We said goodbye to The Principal, then Izzy and I sang “Shake it Off” (one of her new favorites) all the way to Mrs. Mavis’s house. We pulled up at the same time as Dylan who was dropping Maggie off. We put the two girls on the ground and they went off chattering in what sounded like a foreign language talking about their Easter together. Dylan and I watched with smiles as the two excitedly ran up to the door where Mrs. Mavis stood waiting for them, then disappeared into the house without so much as a goodbye. Mrs. Mavis waved, yelled good morning, then flagged us on signaling that she’d take it from there. Dylan and I talked for a little while. He showed me pics on his phone of the Eli-bunny with the kids, there was an adorable one of the Eli-bunny on one knee with baby DJ propped on his knee, and Maggie standing in front of him, next to her baby brother with a gigantic smile. He also had an awesome one of the Eli-bunny kneeling in front of an old oak with one arm around Izzy and the other around Freddy… those freaking smiles!!! They were HUGE! He sent me his pics and I sent him mine before we parted ways.

I drove to work, stopped by Marilee’s, and got coffee for everyone then went into the office. When I got to The Village offices it was more of the same, BA going on and on about how much fun Easter was with the kids. I went into my office and started my workday; I had plenty to keep me busy. Taylor walked in unexpectedly a little before noon, looking amazing as always. “Hey, I was on my way to work and hoping I could talk to you” he said.

“Of course, what’s up?” I asked as he took a seat across from me.

“Yesterday was so much fun” he started, “but on the way home Noah started talking about how amazing all the families were: yours and Zach’s, Brody and Max’s, and those guys from Myrtle Beach Kyler and Marcos’. He’s never known any gay couple’s with kids and started talking about how much fun it was watching the kids and it morphed into this discussion about the future… OUR future, married, with kids, living in the country, etc.”

I could tell by the look on his face that he was overwhelmed by it all. “So, how do you feel about all that?” I asked.

He looked up at me and our eyes locked. “I don’t” he responded. “I think it’s cool all you guys are raising families and stuff, but no thank you.” I could tell that he was expecting some big reaction like he had just dropped a bomb on me.

“It aint for everyone, brother” I said with a smile. “What do you want from life?”

“What I got” he said. “I make good money, have a great apartment, lots of men… lots of company” he said. It was clear he was talking about fucking whoever he wanted.

“You mean you can pretty much fuck whoever you want?” I asked with a laugh. He smiled and his face turned red (he didn’t embarrass easily). “Taylor, it’s okay to want that, hell you’re young, hot, you have some cash. Enjoy it, you’ve earned it.” I said in response. He looked shocked at my answer. My job wasn’t to carve out his future for him or dictate morals. It was to guide him and help him access the tools to succeed in life… whatever that may look like. “You don’t have to turn into me and Zach, or anyone else.”

“But that’s what Noah wants and I want Noah.” He said looking at me for some kind of magic response.

“Did you tell Noah what you want?” I asked and he nodded in response. “What did he say?”

“Well, I told him a I didn’t want kids and he didn’t say much, in fact he didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride and he slept at his own place last night for the first time in a while” Taylor responded. “So, what do I do?”

“What do you want to do?” I asked. Again, I didn’t have the answers. He did. He rolled his eyes at me, “Taylor, you know how this works… you answer the questions, not me. What do you want to do?”

“I want to be free to fuck whoever I want AND I want Noah with me, or at least waiting for me.” He said.

“So, you just want it all?” I asked with a laugh. “Do you think you might ever want a family, or is it completely out of the question?” I asked.

“I dunno. I never had one, so I don’t really know what it’s like” he said. “Yesterday at BroMax was fun with the kids and all, and no offense to all you guys but damn, kids are a lot of work.” He said, I chuckled a little.

“You’re not wrong, but so far, I freaking love it. Yesterday was the best Easter ever” I said, “and it’s all because I got to share the excitement with Freddy, Izzy, and all the other little kids, but it’s not for everyone and you can build any kind of life you want.”

“But what do I say to Noah?” He asked. “I really want to be with him, but I like the way it is… we have each other, but we’re still free and we play together” he laid the intimate details of his relationship out on the table. Then he told me a story, a very detailed story. “The other night we went out to the clubs” Noah was 21, but Taylor was underage in NC. He looked old enough and there was no doubt he had a fake I.D. but I didn’t ask questions or derail the story. “There was the hottest guy dancing on one of the boxes in just a jockstrap, damn he was hot” Taylor said as he continued his story. “He had a tight body with washboard abs, Noah was drooling over the guy and so was I. We both started dancing in front of the box, looking up and making eye contact whenever we could. The guy was totally undressing us with his eyes so we both peeled off our tight T-shirts, the sweat glistening on our smooth chests got his attention. He eventually jumped down off the box and started dancing in between us. The three of us were grinding up on each other and eventually he was making out with Noah while I pushed my hardon against his ass. Fuck it was hot” Taylor said. The details were obscenely and inappropriately intimate, but I just let him get it out. “He turned around and started making out with me, my hardon was pushing against his crotch… he was hard too and Noah was grinding into his ass. We were in the middle of the dancefloor making out with this guy in front of everyone, and it was so fucking hot, Seth. Damn, I miss that kind of attention.” Taylor sounded like a recovering alcoholic who had just taken a tiny sip of whiskey and was trying to decide if it was worth jumping back into the bottle or not. “The guy would switch back and forth between me and Noah, shoving his tongue down our throats. Eventually we ended up in the handicap stall in the bathroom. Noah straddled the toilet bowl, pulled his cock out of his fly, and leaned against the wall while the guy sucked him off. I dropped my pants, spit in the guy’s hole, and fucked him with his jockstrap still on. Noah and I spit roasted the guy until we both came in the guy, then the guy begged me to suck him and get him off. I did while Noah licked his balls huntil he came in my mouth. We left the guy in the stall and went back to my place for.” I wasn’t quite sure why he was telling me this until he said, “I’m telling you all this because I’m happy that I’m not hustling anymore, but damn I miss the attention and the excitement. It felt fucking great to have guys want me enough to pay for it. I don’t know if I’m even capable of being in a monogamous relationship… I mean I think I love Noah, but I don’t see myself married, in the burbs with a couple of kids, I still want to fuck other guys… I love the attention. I don’t know how to have a normal relationship.”

“What’s normal?” I asked. “Hell, a LOT of people don’t think being gay is normal, even more people probably think two gay guys in a monogamous relationship raising a family is NOT normal. What is normal to you?” I asked.

“I dunno” he answered. “I mean, I never had any kind of a family. Maybe a husband and 2.5 kids would be nice… but I think I would miss it. Don’t you miss it, Seth?” Taylor asked.

“Miss what?” I asked. I really had no idea what he was talking about.

“The thrill of picking some guy up and just… you know, going at it with a stranger” Taylor added. “Like when you see some hot guy at a bar and your eyes meet and there’s that… that… electricity and you know you’re gonna take him home. Or you meet a guy online and agree to hook up… the excitement when he opens the door… then that animal, out of control lust and you just fuck like crazy.” I must’ve had a bizarre look on my face because Taylor stopped and asked “What?”

I hesitated then shared, “I’ve never done any of that.”

“You’ve never hooked up with a stranger?!” Taylor asked in total disbelief.

“Nope” I said, then without thinking I said, “Zach was my first… and only.”

“WHAT?!!!” Taylor yelled with a smile of loud disbelief. “You were a virgin when you met Zach?!” he asked, I nodded. “How old were you?” He wanted to know as the tables turned and we were suddenly talking about my personal life instead of his. So, I gave him some basics about my sex life. It was a little unconventional, and maybe crossed some kind of line between therapist and patient, but I told him about that first day I saw Zach and how I thought he was straight, then how I gave myself to him, and a few minor details. “Zach is the hottest guy in the world to me, he’s the hot, blond, all American Soccer jock I had always fantasized about.”

He shot me a devilish grin, “Yeah, Zach is hot as hell” then he threw me a bone, “you’re both hot.” Then went back to the subject at hand, “what about Zach? He was the hot soccer jock, I’m sure he was getting laid all the time, he was okay with just giving up all the D he was getting for you?” He asked wide-eyed. He was just blown away by this whole ‘alternate route’ to gay sex.

“Zach was a virgin too. In fact, he came out to his parents the same day that I gave him my virginity.” I responded.

“NO. FUCKING. WAY!” He yelled. “You guys were both virgins and neither of you have EVER fucked another guy? Oh my god, that is so weird… I never heard of two gay virgins getting married and having kids… holy fuck!” He was in total disbelief.

“See!” Is said in response. “That’s MY normal and you think it’s weird.”

“I’m sorry, I mean I just never…” Taylor stumbled over an apology thinking I was offended.

“Don’t apologize, that’s exactly my point” I responded. “My relationship feels total natural and perfect to me… it’s my normal. What’s your normal going to be? You just need to figure out what your normal looks like.”

“How? What do I do, Seth?” said with a look of desperation on his face… he was searching for answers.

“It seems like you think Noah might be right guy for you. So, talk to him. Tell him what you’re thinking. Tell him you’re trying to figure things out, ask what HE wants. All relationships are unique, maybe you guys can come up with something that works for both of you.” I suggested. We kept talking for a while, I think Taylor was starting to feel more ‘normal’ about things.

“Oh shit! I’m late for work” Taylor said, he jumped up shook my hand and said, “Thanks Seth, this really helped me get some perspective.” Then he scoffed and said under his breath, “virgins with kids… HA!”

He was laughing at my ridiculously perfect life; I didn’t care at all. In fact, I loved that my life could give him a new perspective. “Shut up” I joked, “not get the frig outta here and go to work.” Taylor left and I got back to work.

A couple of hours later I left the office, jumped in the Atlas, and went to pick up the kids from school to meet Ms. Elkin for their visit with Karen. They were both excited and couldn’t wait to tell their momma about the “Eas-er-bunny” even though Izzy was still pissed that we wouldn’t let he wear her Easter dress. Freddy was excited to share his new gadget with Karen. We bought a digital photo frame for the kids to take and share with their mother. She couldn’t keep it at the facility, but we called and they said they would allow the kids to bring it for their visit. They could use it to share pictures with her while they told her stories, we did our best to keep all the pics of Freddy, Izzy, and the other kids so that Kare didn’t get depressed about not being one of the other people in her kids lives. Our intent was for the kids to be able to share with her, not to make her feel left out. It was a fine line but our options were limited.

While the kids were visiting with Karen, I waited in the car listening to tunes and thinking about my discussion with Taylor. Maybe I did miss out on something by not fucking around when I was younger. Maybe I should have fucked everything that moved before I settled down, maybe Zach and I should play together… Nah! Fuck that. My husband was more than enough and I fucking loved him, and our rlife as it was. I wouldn’t trade my college years with Zach for anything! The dorms, the duplex, grad school in our little rented house in St Louis, then turning the Witches House into a home, and now bringing our (first two) kids into it. I wouldn’t change a damn thing! I was building something huge with the man I loved; something that would last forever… we were building it together. I had every intention of growing old with him. Just as I was getting lost in my thoughts the phone rang over the car speaker system. It was Eli.

“Hey, what’s up?” I answered.

“We’re coming to your place and bringing dinner… does 6:00 work?” Eli said.

“Sounds good. What’s the occasion?” I asked.

“Kelly’s driving Riley nuts with wedding shit, so Riley’s driving me nuts with Kelly shit, so now, we’re gonna drive y’all nuts” Eli replied.

I laughed and asked, “Did you just say “y’all?” Then responded, “I know that feeling all too well. Come on by, the kids will love it.” As soon as I hung up with Eli, I texted Zach and told him his mom was driving Riley crazy with wedding plans and they were coming over for dinner. He just replied with a laugh emoji and a thumbs up… we knew what they were going through. Just then I got another text, this time from Ms. Elkin, ‘come inside, Karen wants to talk to you’ is all it said. I texted Zach to let him know, then went into the detention facility before he replied. I went up the steps, into the building, through security, and was led to the room where the kids and Karen were. Ms. Elkin was waiting just outside.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“I’m not sure, she asked me to watch the kids so the two of you could talk in private” she answered as she opened the room to the door.

“ZEFF!” Izzy yelled as I entered, “Momma’s here, see.” She was excited to see us in the same room for the first time, so was Freddy.

“I showed her all the pictures” Freddy said. “Momma cried.”

“Why don’t y’all go with Ms. Elkin so I can talk to Mr. Seth.” Karen said to the kids, they followed her order. “Thanks for comin’ in Seth, I wanted to thank y’all for this… this thing with all the pictures” Karen said referring to the digital frame.

“We know you can’t keep it, but we thought we could keep adding pictures to it and the kids can bring it to your visits.” I said.

“That’s nice of y’all” she said. Then she chuckled, “Them pictures of Izzy in that frilly girly dress are hilarious. That proud smile on her face.”

“She’s pissed off at us for not letting her wear the dress to school today and to visit you” I said with a laugh. “So why did you want to see me?” I asked, my curiosity getting the best of me.

“Because of Izzy and that damn dress” she said. “And Freddy sittin’ in that old car. I’ve been thinkin’ a lot, I aint gonna be able to take care of ‘em anytime soon and I sure as hail aint gonna me able to give ‘em the life you guys are. I wanted to let y’all know I met with my lawyer and am gonna… gonna… I think they call it relinquish… my parental rights so y’all can adopt ‘em.”

I almost passed out and burst from excitement at the same time. “Are you sure this is what you want?” I asked.

“No. I don’t want it. I wanna be with my damn kids” she said fighting back tears, “but I fucked that up. Hell, by the time I get outta here them kids’ll have kids of their own… I aint stupid.” She took a deep breath and said, “Even if I get out, how the hell can I make a livin’ after all the shit I done?” If they’re with y’all, I know they’ll be taken care of. And if I’m bein’ honest… I’m glad y’all are gay” I just listened, curious why she said that. “I don’t think I could watch ‘em love another momma. But I always wished they had a daddy around, now they got two.”

I wasn’t sure how to react, I thought for a moment and decided, “Can I hug you?” I didn’t get a vocal response or see her coming at me, but she embraced me silently. She was so tiny and I could feel her body shudder as she cried into my chest.

“I love ‘em so much ya’ know” she said into my chest.

I pushed her back and looked into her eyes, “So do we. I promise you we’ll give them both a great life. We’ll protect them, and we’ll make sure you’re a part of their lives.” For the next few minutes, we hugged as she mourned her loss. It hurt my heart, I knew was excited for me and Zach, and knew it was the best thing for the kids, but I also knew her love was pure. We were still hugging when the guard came to take her back.

Damn, that was an unexpected, emotionally draining meeting. I gathered the kids, updated Ms. Elkin, then we headed home. I didn’t call Zach on the way home because I didn’t want the kids to overhear us. He was already home when I got there with the kids, they changed clothes and went into the den to play. I grabbed Zach by the arm, pulled him in the kitchen, and told him what happened. “So, this is really gonna happen?!” Zach asked. I nodded excitedly. “I’ll talk to Dan in the morning and have him contact her lawyer and figure out what we need to do next.” He said. That was all that was spoken about it for the rest of the night.

It wasn’t long before Eli and Riley arrived with a couple of buckets of chicken. For the rest of the night, we listened to Riley bitch about my mother in-law and just vent to a set of sympathetic ears. We listened for a good hour before Zach finally admitted, “You know that she drove us so freaking crazy that we eloped six months before the wedding.”

“WHAT?!!”  Riley exclaimed, “You guys did NOT elope” she said in disbelief. Zach and I told her and Eli the story of our secret New Year’s Eve elopement in Vegas. The night that Zach and I legally wed in a private moment shared by the two of us and our two best friends Max and Brody. The moment we legally became one.

‘Look at us now’ I thought to myself.

To be continued…