This story will be a sort of coming-of-age High School story. All characters that engage in explicit acts will be of legal age in their state and consensual, and remember this is fiction. It will involve sports, drama, rivalries, there will be some uncomfortable topics like addiction, overdoses, and mental health issues. In this part there will be a lot of groundwork laid. No sex happens.
And then we kissed, the entire town, school, it felt like the world was watching us…But let’s put it in reverse. Yep, that’s me Austin Tucker, I am a Junior in High School in a small town in the Midwest. You know there one where sports, family, farming and what other’s think of you mean everything. I am the youngest of two kids, I have one sister, but she is 10 years older than me. My parents had her when they were very young, and then in their late 20’s I was their “not so little” surprise. You see when I was born, I was over 10 lbs., and the growing did not stop. I am now at 18, 6’4 and 245 lbs. bundled into an athletic body. I am a gifted athlete specifically at football. I play mostly on defense, and I have the ability to wreck any offences plans, my mix of speed, strength, and high football IQ (mostly from my parents and watching every football game ever) have benefitted me greatly. I started varsity as a sophomore and we did well, along with a great group of guys we were able to make the state playoffs for the first time in 30 years in my hometown. It was no secret that the town boasted about is, heck on Friday nights, businesses, banks, and restaurants closed early so they could be at the games, home or away it did not matter. What was a secret was that I was different in other ways from my friends too. You see, I was gay, and that was a secret. One that I kept very close, in fact the only other person who knew was no longer with us, but I know she was watching over me. That was my grandma, she lived on the farm with us while growing up and I spent every waking moment with her that I could. We would play cards, games, cook and everything together. She was one special lady. One day we were playing cribbage, and she looked at me and just asked, “Austin, why do you spend so much time with me instead of going out with your friends, or maybe a girl?” I just stared blankly at her. She then said, “or maybe a boy”? Again silence…. I stammered an answer, “ummm well, ummm, grams I don’t think there is anyone in this town for me”. She simply said, “nonsense, any boy would be lucky to have you”. And, well I guess that’s how I came out to my grandma. We lost her last year and it about broke me, I know it devastated my mom too, thankfully I had two of my best friends Cole Simms and Hudson Nash, they carried me through last spring. Sometimes literally and figuratively. The day after the funeral I laid in bed, alarm when off on my phone, snooze, alarm, snooze. I turned it off, then it buzzed Cole texting, I ignored it, Cole called, ignored. Hudson texted, ignored. Hudson called, ignored. I knew what was next, and heard them coming down the drive. Cole in his loud beat up pick up, and Hudson on his dirt bike. I heard the footsteps on the porch, then the living room, and the stairs. They didn’t even bother to knock, they just stormed in, and Hudson said, “you better have on underwear at least” he yanked off the covers. They then set on the side of the bed and said, “get your ass up, and get in the shower, school starts in 10”. I just said, “no”. Well, that was not an option, because Cole grabbed one arm and Hudson the other and they carried me to the shower, put me in underwear and all, turned it on, and there I stood, water cold, cussing those fuckers out. Assholes, both of you! I shucked off my underwear and said, “boys enjoy the show”, they both snickered and said, nothing we have not seen before. I showered, and we all rode together in Cole’s truck, I did not feel like driving, and Hudson was not allowed to park his bike at school, since it wasn’t licensed. It was spring so Hudson would have baseball practice after school, but I would go pick him up later. Cole was the QB on our football team, his dad worked in a factory one town over, and pretty much drank himself to sleep every night. Cole would help him to bed and I know he was dealing with a lot. He lost his mom a few years ago to cancer and his dad was pretty much a drunken mess most of the time. He also sometimes made Cole’s life hell. Criticizing every minute detail, Cole got a B on a test, gets yelled at, throws and interception, gets yelled at. You know the drill. So, he would often escape to my house, and he was always welcome. My mom just happened to be the guidance counselor at the school, so she provided a lot of assistance both in and out of school for him. She even went as far as to set him up with a therapist, which I am pretty sure my parents paid for. This was just something they did, they tried to take care of everyone in the town they could. You see, my dad’s family owned several farms, the grain elevator, fertilizer plant, bank, and most of the buildings that made up the town square. My parents were high school sweethearts, graduated, and halfway through their freshman year of college my sister came along. Well, my grandmother was a very strong-willed woman and she moved to the town where they went to college, rented an apartment, and was their nanny. She was determined that neither of them was dropping out. So, my mom got her degree, as did my dad, they moved home and took over the family businesses and dad’s parents retired. Mom took the job at the High School, and well grams, she continued to live with them and help. Then I came along, and dad was on cloud 9, he had a son, grams was delighted she now had another one to take care of, and well my sister, I think she would have been happy to sell me to the neighbors for a quarter. That’s a bit about me and my family.
Now back at school, everyone just kind of either looked at me sad, didn’t speak, or got out of my way. I went through the motions, went to class, and life was moving on for me. You see that’s the thing about death, the world just keeps on going. I noticed my mom outside my classes a lot more often today, peeking in, or coming up with an excuse to pop in. Every time her eyes would find me, she pasted a smile on her face, but I could see that anguish behind her eyes too.
The day was about over, and Cole asked if I wanted to work out after school, this was just what I needed, we could work out and then when Hudson is done with practice we could all go together. We got to the locker room, and changed, thankfully I kept some extra clothes there. We worked out, weights, cardio, stretching and core. Fuck that felt good. It had been over a week. We finished and went back to our lockers; we just set there. Finally, Cole looked at me and just said, “it sucks I know bud”. I could see he still held pain in his eyes from losing his mom, and essentially his dad too. I said, “it sure does”. He and I had always been able to share most everything. We talked sometimes for hours about football, family, school, but rarely emotions. But today was different. I started talking and just didn’t stop. Then I hit the line, “she knew everything about me, she was the one I could tell anything”. He said, “bud I can be that person, you can tell me anything”. I thought to myself, “oh no I can’t”. He then put his hand on my shoulder, and said “Austin, anything”. I huffed, and was quiet, then sighed. He said, “it will only hurt the longer you keep it in”. Tears were forming in my eyes, and in almost a whisper, setting on that bench, drenched in sweat, I said, “I think, I’m gay”. Then nothing, the door clanged open, and the baseball practice was over, and people flooded the room. Hudson spotted us quickly and seen tears in my eyes, and a look of angst on Cole’s face. I threw my clothes in a bag and said, see you at the truck. I was out of there in about 5 seconds. Cole was about a ½ step behind me. I didn’t stop and he kept saying, “Austin, Austin, wait”. I sure as fuck wasn’t stopping. What had I done. This was my most guarded secret and I just outted myself to one of my best friends. He was for sure going to hate, call me slurs, punch me, or something. We got to the truck, my eyes were full of tears now, my face was red, I was mad, confused, hurt, and panic stricken all in one; he grabbed me, and turned me around and he looked at me, no words. Then he broke the silence, he just busted out laughing. I was about ready to punch him, and I said, “what the fuck is funny about this asshole”. He looked me straight in the eyes and stopped laughing and said “me too”…The fuck you say! He said, dude you are the only one who knows besides my therapist. I said will you are the only loving person that knows about me too. Now you might be thinking this is where the romance begins, we will kiss, and become secret lovers and live happily ever after. That did and does not happen. You see my heart is set on someone else, someone that is completely different. So, that day in the parking lot we made a pact. Noone would find out. We did not have much time to discuss anything else because here came Hudson barreling towards us. He wrapped his arms around me and said, dude, I am here for you. My mind was reeling, what, did he know, what was he talking about. Then I got it he meant for grief. I was panicking. Cole said, “ok in the truck”. We all got in. Hudson sat in the middle, he then said, damn you two stink, did you two fuck or workout. My heart flipped and my stomach dropped, god I was going to vomit, but Cole was calm and simply said, “why are you jealous”. To which Hudson responded nah neither of you are as hot as Tara. That was his girlfriend. She was kind of a bitch, but we put up with her. So, we made it back to the farm, the sheriff’s car was in the driveway. Could this day get any worse? My blood ran cold, no, no, no, what had happened now. My mom and dad came out to on the porch and Sheriff Melvin was with them, and so was Jimmy, Hudson’s little brother. My mom spoke, and said Hudson, um honey, “do you know where your mom is”. Hudson, looked at the ground and kicked the dirt, then said “Jimmy what did you tell them”. Jimmy was about 12, said, “nothing I swear”. Jimmy sighed and said, I’m sorry Sheriff, “she ran off last Friday, I thought she would be back after the weekend. You know, she usually just goes on a bender, or something then comes home”. Sheriff said” well Nelly at the trailer park called and said she was going to have to evict you because the rent had not been paid this month, so I went by, but Jimmy was there alone”. “Fuck” was all Hudson could muster. Then my dad spoke up, boys why don’t you all go in and get dinner it’s out in the kitchen and let us talk with the Sheriff. Hudson walked over and hugged Jimmy and ushered him to the door, and gave Cole and I a look, we went in with him. I could hear part of the conversation. I heard the Sheriff, say, “that’ll be fine I speak to Judge Mathes in the morning”. My parents came in and said that Hudson and Jimmy would be staying with us for a while. Cole said, “I run ‘em by to get stuff at the trailer if they need to”. Hudson looked bewildered but said, “thanks everyone, we are not your problem, we have figured this out before and will again”. My mom looked at him and said, “wait Hudson, this has happened before”? Cole, Hudson, and I all looked at each other. Then my mom said, “Austin, did you know about this”? I can’t lie to my mom, well about that, and said, “yeah, um in the past grams would pay their rent and um buy groceries”. My mom just said, “of course”. Cole spoke up and said, “um she did for us too sometimes, um my dad would spend his check on lottery tickets and beer, and she would go to the store with me”. Mom now had tears in her eyes, and just said, “of course she did, oh that woman”. Mom, then said, “well is there anything else she did or knew that we need to know about?” Cole and I shared a glance, but I thought, “no they don’t NEED to know that”.
After dinner Cole took Hudson and Jimmy to get some things and my dad said he would go back tomorrow and get the rest of the stuff and settle up at the park. When they got back mom had set up the guest room for Jimmy, and another for Hudson. They shared a jack and jill bathroom on the same floor as my room. Hudson carried Jimmy’s stuff to his room and set up his game system, and computer. Then came into my room, he asked if it would be weird if he shared my room? I immediately said, “not at all”. But my mind was screaming, “fuck yes it will be weird, you are the man I am in love with”. How the hell was I going to do this…
I am planning on many chapters some are already written. This will build slowly but will get to the good stuff don't worry.
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