Fear, Love, and Hate

NICK

I handed Dean the keys to my car and we headed out. He held my hand the whole way as silence filled the space between us. I could feel his nerves, his apprehension, and his exhaustion. The very thought of meeting up with Wayne was dragging him down, and I felt powerless to stop it.

Rubbing my thumb along his hand I tried to calm him down, to give him so semblance of peace. With a deep sigh, he took my hand in his and squeezed and took the turn towards the Angry Bull. The silence of the drive was deafening, but I knew he just needed to collect his thoughts and his resolve. Pulling up it wasn't as crowded as I thought it would be for a Sunday evening. We drive around the back and see Wayne standing on the employee only ramp with of course Sally smoking her thin cigarette.

"You ready?"

"Actually yeah."

"What are you gonna say?"

"I'm gonna tell him that you're taking me back home after we leave here and I need you to play along, get mad at me even if both of you gang up on me. If this isn't believable Wayne will know it."

Lighting us both a cigarette I hand him one and silently get out the car slamming the door in the processes. So many thoughts went through my head but the main one was 'what if he wants to go back there?' and with that very thought, I was angrier than I had been in a long time. I walk over and sit on an old tree stump sulking. The rational part of me knew this was an act, and yet here I was angry and upset.

"If he's this mad at you, how mad am I gonna be?"

"Hey Mrs. Sally, hey Wayne." He sounded so small. "Let's just get it over with, I'm going back home, he's taking me when we leave here."

"What the fuck Dean, you can't be serious -"

"DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS!" He screamed it so loud it startled all of us. Face blood red. I wanted to bad to run to him, but that's not my role here. There was so much more to those words than either of them knew, but I could see it. The weight of leaving his mother was crushing him.

Sally resting a hand on Wayne whispers something and I can see Wayne holding himself together with tape and string. "Fine." And with that Wayne went in through the employee entrance.

Sally turned to head in after him but stopped. "Be safe boys, and know that you're always safe here." She took one final drag and disappeared inside.

HOLLY

It was luck that I walked to the back window to see the boys pull up. I was going to say hi but the way the blond one slammed the car door told me otherwise. I could read people, and I had seen the soft subtle touches between them last time they were talking to my Grandma and Mr. Wayne. This wasn't the town for that, and I knew how dangerous it could be if anyone found out so I kept my mouth shut. They were good guys and I don't wanna see anything happen to them.

Turning back towards the window I see the dark-haired one screaming. I knew they wouldn't be staying for dinner. "But no reason they can't eat."

"Holly, who are you talking to?"

"No one Frank just thinking out loud. Can I get 2 bacon burgers and 2 spuds rush and put em on my tab."

"Sure thing!"

Rushing my drinks out to my tables and putting in my orders I ran back to package the boy's food with a few beers thrown in. I couldn't go out of the main employee entrance so I went out the side door we take the trash out and slipped out behind them. I sit the bag on top of a piece of cardboard and then on top of the hood of the car and slink away as the two boys just stand in silence finishing their cigarettes.

DEAN

I'm frozen. My chest hurts and my head isn't far behind. All I can do is slowly take drags of my cigarette head slumped down staring at the rocks that make up the drive. I can hear him approach, but can't meet his eyes. He just stands next to me, smoking in time with me and letting me be. With a deep sigh, I straighten up.

"This was for the best. If he thinks I went back home we won't have to worry and he's so mad he'll find something else to focus on for a while."

"I know you don't need to hear this right now. And there is nothing we can do about it for now, but don't push him away to hard, he cares so much."

I tried to fight the tears. I tried so hard, but still, they came. Sliding down my face. He closed the gap between us and put his arm around my shoulder turning me and leading me to the car.

"Wow" I look up to see a big brown paper bag sitting on the hood.  I sniffle a few more times and lean against the passenger side as he goes to open the bag, pulling a note off the front.

"Looks like we made a friend -Thanks again for your help boys, see you at school. Holly-"

"She's smart.... think she knows...."

"Right now I don't care, we don't need anything else to worry about."

"I feel so alone... I almost hope she knows...."

"Don't talk like that."

He slides into the car placing the food in the back and I get into the passenger side handing him the car key. I light two more cigs and before I know it, we're holding hands driving down some old country roads, the back way to his house.