Cocklust

”Holy shit,” were the first words out of Chad’s mouth. He looked down at the ring in my hands, then looked up at me. “Don’t you know how fucked up I am?”

My heart sank. “Now wait a minute—”

“I mean, look where I came from. Nobody in their right mind would want to sign up for that.”

“I....” I gulped down a lump in my throat. “I don’t think you’re fucked up.”

“Then I don’t know who you’re comparing me to.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “I’m not comparing you to anyone.”

“Don’t you get what I’m trying to say?” he asked. “I don’t deserve you, Scott.”

“But....” My voice trailed off for a second. “Are you saying no?”

Chad rolled his eyes. “I’m saying yes, you crazy ass. I just don’t know what you’re thinking.”

I almost lost it right then. I felt like a huge weight had just lifted off my shoulders. I barely remember Chad reaching for the ring, and us sharing the most incredible kiss. The rest of the city seemed to disappear around us. It seemed like my whole universe was revolving around my man, as if he was all that mattered. All I could see was Chad’s face and the side of his beard. All I could feel were his lips against mine and his arms around my back. All I could hear, smell, and taste was his breath.

When we eventually broke off our kiss, we realized our waitress was standing right beside us. The girl didn’t seem to know how to react. “O-oh hi,” Chad said.

The waitress held up a pepper mill. “Did you guys... I mean, did you want anything for your soup?”

“Uh....” Chad looked at me, then looked back at the waitress. “I’m good.”

“Wait,” I said as I picked up the wine list. One of the Merlots looked familiar. “We’ll have a bottle of the Enorches.”

“O-okay sure,” she said, and she awkwardly hurried away.

Chad’s eyebrows went up. “Enorches?”

“Remember when you got that for me?”

“You mean our first New Years?”

“That’s not what I was thinking of,” I said. “When you were in D.C., taking care of your dad... remember our little reunion? You surprised me with that same wine.”

“Oh... right. I did, didn’t I?”

“Anyway, I thought now that we have a whole new reason to celebrate....”

“Yeah,” he said, but his voice sounded unusually sad. He looked down at the ring, which was still lying in his hand; he hadn’t actually put it on.

“What’s wrong?”

“I dunno,” he said. “That just made me think of the shit with my dad... the guy who still can’t be bothered to say thank you, after all we went through for him. You know what the worst part is?”

“Chad—”

“When we have our wedding or whatever... I don’t know if he’ll even show up.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I just put my hand on Chad’s leg, and I looked right in his eyes.

“Anyway,” he said, “I guess if he doesn’t give a shit about me... at least I’ve got someone else who does.” He paused for a second, then slid the ring on his finger. Finally he held up his newly-bejeweled hand. “How does it look?”

“I-I....” My mouth was still struggling to form words. “Like I always hoped it would,” I finally said.

“I seriously can’t believe you did this.”

I shrugged. “Well... I guess now you know why I’d been acting so weird.”

“Wait,” he said. “How long had you been planning this?”

“Since March.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“I wanted to make sure I didn’t fuck it up,” I said. “I almost did, in those last couple seconds.”

“Oh for shit’s sake,” he said. “Did you seriously think I’d say no?”

“I had no idea. I mean you never know....”

Chad looked like he was going to say something else, but just then, the waitress came back with our bottle of wine. She set down a pair of matching glasses, uncorked the bottle, and poured us our wine. “Enjoy,” she said.

Chad held up his glass. “This is to... I dunno... being my new fiancé. And eventually my husband.”

Those last two words were music to my ears. I didn’t really know what to say; I just tapped my glass against his. “To you too,” I replied.

We ended up sitting there quite a while, sipping our wine and looking out across the river. As the sky got darker, more and more lights came on in the towers around us. By the time we finally left, night had completely fallen, and a bunch of lights glittered and twinkled around us.

When we headed back toward the train, Chad insisted on holding my hand, and he clutched it in an iron grip. I couldn’t help thinking this would’ve been unimaginable just a few years before. The last time I’d walked down those streets, I could’ve barely dreamed of having a romantic moment with a dude, much less a dude I was going to marry. Yet here I was, and it was all really happening.

We were almost home when I felt my phone buzz. I tried to ignore it at first, but then it buzzed again and again. I checked my messages and saw a bunch of texts from my mom.

Amy and Dylan just landed, said the first. Finally! After three hours delay.

She’d proceeded to give me a play-by-play of them finding each other at the airport. As if I needed to know details.

Dylan says he’s hungry, read her most recent text. We decided to go to Lou Malnati’s. Do you want to join us?

I wanted to tell her to stop being a buzzkill. My gut told me I had more important things on my mind right then, and that Mom needed to butt out. But I forced myself to behave.

No thanks, I wrote back. Chad and I have already eaten. Have fun though!

Chad looked over at my phone. “When are we gonna tell them?”

“You mean about us?” I asked. “I mean, we can tell them whenever we want... but this trip is a big deal for Amy too, and I don’t want to steal her thunder—”

“I hate to break it to you,” he said, “but I don’t think there’s any way around that. We’re gonna need to tell your family in person. It’d be weird if we didn’t. So if you think Amy will have a problem with it—”

“I dunno, she’ll probably be cool. I mean, at least I hope so....”

“I bet she’d be okay with it,” he said. “I mean, your family’s way less fucked up than mine.”

“Well... it’s not that. It’s just, you’ve gotta admit, it’s a pretty big announcement to make—”

“Of course it is. But of all the people we’re gonna have to tell... I don’t think they’re the ones we should worry about.”

I looked in Chad’s eyes. I loved how he seemed so fearless, even though he had a lot more at stake than I did.

“You know,” he said, “if I ever run for office, even if it’s just for dogcatcher or something... they’re always gonna look at me as the gay candidate.”

“Chad—”

“I’m not complaining,” he said. “I just... I hope you know what you’re signing up for.”

I just nodded. “Yeah I do,” was all I could think to say.

We came home to an empty house. I checked the time, and I tried to gauge when my family would get back. “Come here,” Chad said as he shut my bedroom door, and he put his arms around me.

“Fuck,” I gasped as our lips started massaging each other, and our tongues wrapped around each other. I clutched Chad’s body as tightly as I could, and I ran my hands up and down his back. I felt his boner joust against mine, though we were still fully clothed. “I want you to make love to me,” I said between kisses. “For our first time as future husbands.”

“Hm,” Chad said. “What if I want you to make love to me too?”

“I mean, we can always take turns....”

“I think we’re gonna need to,” Chad said. “It can be like when we first hooked up. Remember how we flip-fucked that night? When you took my virginity?”

“If you want to put it that way, you took my virginity too. And it’s not exactly something I’d forget.”

“Me neither,” he said, and we went back to making out.

I had to admit, I liked going down that particular Memory Lane. It felt like yesterday when I’d walked in on Chad jacking off. I could never forget the sight of his legs open wide and his feet in the air. From where I’d been standing, I’d gotten a clear view of his ballsack bouncing up and down, with his hairy taint and asscrack underneath. Not to mention how I’d gotten to see him fingering his hole with one hand and playing with his cock with the other.

“You know what I was beating off to right then?” Chad asked between kisses.

“I can probably guess....”

“I was imagining all the naked guys I’d seen that day,” he said as ran his hands down his abs. “Like you.”

“Hm,” I said. “I figured you were horny for the same reason I was.”

“Well yeah,” he replied. “I’d tried to sleep, but I kept tossing and turning... I couldn’t stop thinking how bad I wanted dick.” He slid his hand inside my pants, and he gripped my shaft. “Of course I didn’t know what I was in for....”

I didn’t need to be told what to do next. I broke off our kiss, pulled Chad’s shirt over his head, and marveled at the beautiful pecs and abs underneath. Chad clearly had the same idea; he undid my pants the rest of the way, then slid them down along with my underwear. As he did, my cock eagerly bounced into view.

“Mm,” he said. “That’s about as hard as I remember it that night.”

“I remember you being rock hard too,” I replied. “Of course, to really compare, I’d need you to take your clothes off....”

Chad did as he was told, and he yanked down his pants and his underwear. His throbbing boner stuck straight out from his crotch; it was clearly dying for some action. For a second he just stood there, in all his naked glory. But he couldn’t fight his urges for long. The next thing I knew, he grabbed my body, yanked me toward him, and crashed his lips into mine.

“Mm,” was all I could say. I savored that sexy familiar feeling of his beard against my face. I still couldn’t get over his tasty warm tongue, and how much it turned me on. I was damn near incredulous that he’d let me enjoy this the rest of my life.

Chad looked down at my crotch, and his eyes seemed to twinkle. Then he pulled me down on the bed, which creaked under our weight.

Chad laid on top of me and went back to kissing me. My nerves crackled with electricity as our dicks ground together. I loved the way Chad’s thick meaty cock pressed into my skin, and I could only imagine how much fun I was about to have with it. I could feel pre-cum on my abs, though I couldn’t tell which one of us had left it.

“Here,” Chad said as he made me roll over. “Put your ass up.”

I didn’t want to stop making out, but I wasn’t about to argue. I laid down on my stomach, pulled my knees closer, and stuck my butt in the air.

In that position, I couldn’t see what Chad was doing, but I heard him give off a primeval growl. “Oh fuck yeah,” he said. I felt him put his hands on my ass cheeks, and he opened them up. He must’ve stuck his face inside, because a second later, I felt his warm breath on my hole. Then, at long last, I felt his tongue against my pucker.

“Holy shit,” I gasped as a whole new set of nerves started twitching. I tried to control my sphincter, but I couldn’t stop it from tightening up, at least for a couple of seconds. Then I forced my muscles to relax as I savored the feeling of Chad’s tongue in my butt.

“Mm,” seemed to be all he could say. His tongue flicked back and forth, then ran in swirls around my hole. He was clearly as into this as I was.

“Oh baby,” I said, “fuck, that feels so good....”

Chad moved down a few inches, and he ran his tongue along my taint. He ran it back and forth a few times: he teased the base of one of my thighs, then the other. Then traced that little ridge of skin that ran from near my boyhole, down the middle of my taint and my ballsack, to the underside of my cock.

“Aw shit....”

Chad slapped my butt cheeks. “Fuck,” he said, “I love eating your ass... and your cock and balls are fucking delicious....”

I suddenly realized what he was doing. He was still harkening back to the first time we’d fucked. I hadn’t forgotten how he’d eaten me out, and he’d even called my cock and balls delicious. Of course an awful lot had changed since then, but the memory was still as vivid and as sexy as ever....

“C’mere babe,” he said.

“What?”

“Lie flat on your back.”

I flipped my body around as fast as he could. As I did, Chad reached for the lube, and he squeezed out a few drops on his hand. He brought his fingers to my mancunt, and he gave it a soft dab, teasing me just the way I liked it. Then he smeared some more lube on his cock, and he got into position.

The next few moments seemed to go in slow motion. I kept remembering our first time, especially the moment Chad’s erection zeroed in on its target. That was the moment I’d realized that maybe, just maybe, I might get to have sex with the guy I’d had the hots for. It’d seemed like all my fantasies were coming to life— though I could’ve hardly imagined what was still to come.

Chad’s cockhead pressed against my hole, and my whole body shuddered. He was driving me wild, and he knew it. I pulled him toward me, and I forced his dick inside me.

“Oh fuck,” he said, “your ass feels so good....”

I fucking loved the way he opened me up. My hole pulsated with pleasure as it squeezed his warm hard shaft. There was absolutely no pain— unlike the first time he’d fucked me, or even the second or third time, back when my ass would tense up. Now my body was well-versed in what to do.

Chad’s balls pressed into my buttcrack. He paused for a second, making sure he was in all the way, then started pistoning in and out. I responded in kind, and I gyrated my hips in perfect sync with his. I worked his cock with my ass, and I moaned and groaned with each thrust. I wanted him to know how much I fucking loved this, and I wanted him to feel as ecstatic as I did.

Chad’s nutsack kept smacking against me, over and over. His balls seemed particularly plump, even more so than usual. They were clearly ballooning with cum, and I couldn’t wait to get their creamy contents inside me.

“Give it to me,” I said. “Please... oh my God....”

“You like taking that dick?”

“You know I fucking love it....”

“I love your ass too,” he said as he leaned down and kissed me. “Such a hot manly ass....”

“Fucking pound it,” I said. “Have your way with it.”

Chad locked his lips against mine, and he started fucking me harder and harder. The bedframe was shaking and groaning almost as hard as I was. My legs flailed around in the air, but then I wrapped them around Chad’s body, and I pressed my heels against his ass. His abs kept rubbing against my dick, which was firmly sandwiched between us, and which was smearing pre-cum on both of our bodies. He kept getting perilously close to my prostate, but he made sure not to hit it; he probably knew I’d lose control if he did.

“You’re so fucking hot,” I said between kisses. “I love you so much....”

“Fuck, I love you too,” he said. He kissed me again as gave me a few more thrusts. As he did, he pressed his body hard against my package. Finally he pulled back. “I can’t resist this.”

“What?”

In one quick move, he pulled out of my ass, lubed himself up, and climbed on top of me. Then he looked me right in the eye, and he guided my dick toward his hole.

I felt that familiar pleasure as my cock slid inside him. I couldn’t take my eyes off Chad as he impaled himself on my rod. Then, when he had me all the way in, he rested his weight on my pubes.

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Fuck, I love your dick in me....”

“Your ass feels so good....”

“You’ve got the best fucking dick, Scott... I can’t get enough of that shit....”

“Well, you’re in luck,” I said. “You just signed up for a lifetime subscription.”

“Oh yeah,” he said as he pressed his ass hard against my crotch. He’d already taken me all the way, but he seemed to want even more. He rocked back and forth, and he worked my cock with his sphincter. “This could turn fucking anyone gay....”

“Are you saying you needed to be turned?”

“No,” he said, “you know I’ve always been a big fucking mo... even when I didn’t want to admit it....”

I licked my lips. I obviously knew how much Chad had struggled with his feelings. Even so, it meant a lot to hear him say it. Granted, we were in the heat of the moment, but still....

“Oh God,” he said, “I love getting fucked by your dick—”

“I—”

“I’m so fucking gay for you, baby,” he said. “And you know I always have been.”

Those words made me want to kiss him even harder than before. But in that position I couldn’t, so I just laid back and watched the spectacle of him riding my dick. Chad’s own dong was swinging around, basically out of control, going every which way. I couldn’t take my eyes off of that gorgeous veiny package. I wanted to reach down and stroke him, but I couldn’t risk sending him over the edge. I wanted him to cum in my ass, not on my chest, and I was dying to get that cock back where it belonged. The longer it kept flopping around, the more intense my cravings got.

Chad seemed to be having the time of his life. His facial expressions were shuddering with pleasure. He kept closing his eyes and opening his mouth, and his lips curled upward in ecstasy. Watching him get so into it was the sexiest part of all. “Oh fuck,” he gasped, but then his voice trailed off.

“I’m getting close,” I said, “but I don’t wanna cum yet.”

Chad nodded his head. He bounced up and down a few more times, clearly still enjoying the ride. Then he leaned down and kissed me. “We can do it however you want....”

“Then fuck me,” I said.

“Mm,” he said as he made out with me some more. He was breathing heavily, clearly as horny as I was. Then he got up off my dick. “Get on all fours,” he said.

I could tell what he was doing. He knew I loved doggy-style, but he also knew it wouldn’t get me off.

I got on my hands and knees, and Chad got in position behind me. I couldn’t see him of course, but I savored the feeling of his dick making its way back inside me. In this position, his balls started slapping against mine; I could feel them swinging back and forth, and I could tell they were even more engorged than before.

“Fuck me harder,” I said, “oh my God....”

Chad pumped faster and faster, and the bed shook harder and harder. I fucking loved the way his cock pistoned inside me, shaking up my innards, setting off all my nerves. I also dug the way he grabbed my hips, keeping my ass right where he wanted it; then he moved his hands to my shoulders, and he clutched them in his firm masculine grip. Most of all, I loved hearing his moans of pleasure, since I wanted him to enjoy this just as much as I did. “Baby,” he said, “I’m getting close too....”

“Cum in me,” I said.

Chad slowed down his thrusts, and he leaned down to kiss my back. “I want you to go first.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he said. “And you need to do it in me too... I’m fucking dying to feel your seed up my ass.”

I wasn’t about to argue with that. I got up off my knees, while Chad laid down on his back. He spread his legs nice and wide, giving me a perfect view of his cock and balls and mancunt.

My dick tingled as it made its way back inside him. Chad clearly loved this just as much as I did; he smiled, arched his back, and let out another groan. He also used his hands to massage my butt cheeks, while his sphincter kept massaging my throbbing pumping penis.

All I could think was how how I was fucking born to do this. To service Chad in every way I could. To take care of him and make him feel good— physically and otherwise— in any way humanly possible. To stick with him through thick and through thin. And I couldn’t wait to see what our future had in store.

I knew I couldn’t last much longer, so I didn’t even try. I just let my balls boil as the pleasure crescendoed till I busted my nut. But even then, I didn’t stop; I’d barely even slowed down when I felt another wave coming. It was that awesome sensation when you realize you’re about to cum again.

Chad clearly knew what was up. He stared at me and nodded, encouraging me to keep going. I knew he wanted every drop of my juices.

“Oh shit!” I yelled as my body convulsed a second time, even more intensely than before. I could felt my man milk shoot through my rod and into Chad’s innards.

“Fuuuck,” Chad said. He was clearly doing everything he could to keep from cumming himself. “That feels so fucking good....”

I kept going for a little bit longer, then finally stopped. I kept my dick inside him as I gave him another kiss. “Did you like that?”

“Oh fuck yeah,” he said. “You know how much I dig that shit....”

“Well good,” I said, “because now I want you to return the favor.”

“Yes sir,” he replied.

I was tempted to ride his cock, the same way he’d just ridden mine, but I opted to switch positions again. I plopped down beside him and let him take me sideways.

Chad’s dick was clearly primed to explode. I could feel the difference when he went back inside me.

I couldn’t control the primeval sounds that were coming out of my throat. The bed was groaning too, and the headboard was whacking against the wall, but I didn’t care. I just wanted Chad to feel as awesome as I did.

“Oh baby,” he said as he started to go over the edge. His dick bounced against my prostate, and a whole new wave of pleasure swept across my body. Then I saw his face scrunch up, the way it always did when he was cumming. He shuddered a little, and then I felt his jizz fill me up. He hit my prostate again, and my nerves went haywire, and I thought I might even get off a third time—

CRACK! The bed suddenly gave way, and we crashed to the floor. It fell at an angle, so our bodies came apart as we tumbled to one side. The headboard teetered for a second; then its joints gave out, and it collapsed the rest of the way.

“Scott?” came a voice from outside. “Are you okay?”

“Oh shit!” I yelled. We’d been so busy plowing each other that we hadn’t heard my family come home. I grabbed the blanket to cover myself.

Before we could do anything else, the door swung wide open. Amy was standing there with her luggage beside her.

“Holy fuck,” she said.

I was still sitting on the floor, covered only in the blanket. My hole was still quivering from all the adrenaline; I felt a glob of Chad’s cum leak out and drip down my crack. “Uh... hi,” was all I could think to say.

“Well,” she said, “I was gonna ask if you were all right, but I guess I’ve got my answer....”

I looked over at Chad. He’d managed to throw his hand over his crotch, and cover it with a pillow. Apart from that, he was completely exposed. “W-we’re okay,” he said.

Amy’s eyes seemed to twinkle at him. “From the looks of it, you seem better than okay,” she said. Then she licked her lips. “Hot damn, boys....”

“Amy,” I said, “can you just... I dunno, give us a minute?”

“Fine,” she said. “Take your time. I’ll make up an excuse for you.”

“That’s not what I meant,” I said, but before I could finish my sentence, Amy had closed the door again.

Chad and I just looked at each other. We were both so embarrassed that we hardly knew what to say. “Well,” Chad said, “I-I mean at least that wasn’t your mom and dad—”

“Oh God,” I said. “I would die.”

He pointed to the wreckage of the bed. “So how are we gonna explain that?”

“I... I mean, it’s always been rickety, as long as I can remember....”

“I guess,” he replied. “I mean, you know what your family will go for.”

I just sighed. I didn’t have the first clue what to do, but I tried not to let on. We cleaned up as best we could, considering my room didn’t have its own bathroom. Then we got dressed, tried to act casual, and went to deal with my family.

Mom, Dad, Amy, and Dylan were having after-dinner drinks. The spotlight was on Dylan of course, being Amy’s new boyfriend and all. He did look a lot like O’Mac, except of course he was straight, which was a little surreal. He seemed like a nice enough guy: he was an econ major, which won him some points with Dad, though not as much as if he’d been another law student.

On the surface, they were all talking about mundane shit, so it felt like there were at least two elephants in the room. Of course I didn’t want to talk about Amy walking in on us, but I did want to talk about our much bigger news. Still, it obviously wasn’t the right time, so Chad and I both bit our tongues.

“So,” Mom finally said, “what’s the plan for this weekend? It might be nice to go to the Riverwalk—”

“Oh Mom,” Amy said. “I don’t think Dylan needs a guided tour of Naperville.”

“It’s fine,” Dylan said.

“No, trust me,” Amy said. “This town is so boring, the most inspiring motto it could think of is ‘At least we’re not Bolingbrook.’”

I noticed Chad was keeping his left hand out of sight. Sometimes he stuffed it in his pocket; other times he held it under the table. He was pretty subtle about it, so I don’t think the others noticed. But I did.

“I saw Rosie has a show this weekend,” Mom was saying.

“Yeah,” Amy said. “She’s doing a gig in Lakeview.”

“That could be fun.”

“I guess... but if we’re gonna go into the city, there’s a lot more to do than just that.”

I kept biting my lip. I was trying to figure out when and how to make our announcement. It hadn’t occurred to me that Chad would already be wearing the ring— and Amy had a radar for that kind of shit. I didn’t want to ask him to take it off, but if he was going to be wearing it 24/7, we couldn’t keep things quiet for long.

Dylan seemed to be taking my family’s bullshit in stride. I could tell Mom and Dad had given him the third degree at the airport, and probably over dinner, long before they’d ever gotten home. It was presumably the same treatment they’d given Chad the year before: they acted super friendly and all, but all of us knew they were judging his ass. Of course, the difference was that Chad had been my first serious boyfriend, and the only one I’d ever brought home, so he’d given my parents their first glimpse of me loving a dude. Dylan wasn’t nearly as groundbreaking, since Amy never needed to come out of any closets. Even so, I could tell Mom and Dad were worried about Dylan banging their little girl.

I noticed Amy was busy texting. A few seconds later, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

In case you were wondering, she wrote, I told them you’d just come home and you plopped on the bed. So that’s how it broke.

I gritted my teeth. Seriously? I wrote back. Is that the best you could come up with?

Hey, do you think I had a choice? she asked. We all heard the crash. If you think you can come up with a better story, be my guest.

I looked over at my parents. They were totally oblivious, just chatting away. I tried to gauge if they actually believed what Amy had told them. Okay fine, I finally wrote. I guess it is what it is.

Amy nodded, but she didn’t text me back. Neither of us said another word, but then again, we didn’t really need to.

Mom and Dad stayed up long past their bedtime. By eleven o’clock, Dad was getting cranky, so Mom took him to bed, and we all agreed we’d sleep in the next morning. I wanted to retreat to my room, but with my bed obviously out of commission, Chad and I went to the guest room instead.

“You know,” I said as we got into bed, “we’re gonna need to tell them tomorrow. I don’t see us keeping this a secret any longer.”

Chad licked his lips. “Yeah. I know.”

“Are you nervous about it?”

“Well... not really nervous, it’s just....”

“It’s just what?”

“I just... I dunno what to expect.”

“That makes two of us,” I said, as I put my hand on his cheek. “But you know what? I don’t care.”

Chad paused for a moment, then kissed my hand. “You know... we haven’t talked about our names.”

“Our names?”

“Yeah. Like if we’re gonna take each other’s names when we’re married.”

I frowned. I hadn’t even thought about that. I’d been so focused on proposing that I hadn’t even considered what would come later. “You mean you’d want me to be a Scott Collins?”

“I don’t know if I like the sound of that. Considering how fucked up my family is—”

“Are you saying you’d rather be Chad Harrington? I don’t know if I like that any better.”

“You’re just used to calling me Collins.”

“Yeah, cause that’s been your name since you were born—”

“Don’t look now, but a lot of people have done the same thing. Like your mom when she married your dad. Or my own mom for that matter.”

“That’s different.”

“Not really,” he said. “I mean, I’m not saying we need to. We can keep our names the same if we want. Or we could hyphenate: like Harrington-Collins, or Collins-Harrington. Take your pick.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “That’s kind of a mouthful. And if you do run for office, which I’m sure you will... I don’t know if it’d fit on a flyer or poster or whatever.”

“Is that seriously the first thing you think of?”

“Well....” I didn’t want to say anything, but I felt like Chad had a way brighter future than I did. As much as I liked my job, I knew I was really only qualified to wait tables and make drinks, and I wasn’t sure if or when that was going to change. Even if I got to be like Thaxter, and if I ran my own business and everything, it was still a far cry from public office. Or wherever Chad’s journey might take him.

“You don’t need to stress about it,” he said. He put his arm around me, and he pressed his body against mine. “We’ve got plenty of time to figure these things out.”

I knew he was right, but I couldn’t help thinking that this was getting very real. I was going to be getting married. To a man, no less. Which meant we’d be proclaiming our love in front of a judge, or a minister, or whoever it ended up being— not to mention at least a few friends and family. It also meant making a lot of important decisions, and not just about the wedding itself. Our names were just a few of the fundamental questions that would affect our whole lives.

The next morning, after we showered and dressed, I was the first to head for the kitchen. At first, the scene seemed completely mundane. Dad was reading the paper the way he always did. Mom was grinding beans for our coffee.

“Morning sweetheart.”

“Morning Mom.”

“Is everything okay?”

I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“You and Chad were so quiet last night.”

“Everything’s cool.”

“Well, I just want to be sure. And I hope he’s taking good care of you.”

“Mom, I’m not a little kid anymore. I don’t need to be taken care of.” I sat down at the table, in the same chair where I’d come out to them. It was weird to think how almost two years had gone by; yet here I was, about to break another piece of big news. I wasn’t quite as nervous this time, but otherwise it did feel very similar.

Amy and Dylan showed up not long after. I gathered my thoughts for a minute, texted Chad, and told him it was time. It felt like quite a while before he came in the room, though it was probably just a minute or two.

“So,” I said, “we do have something to tell you.”

Mom perked up. “Yes?”

I turned to Chad. “Go ahead. Show them.”

Chad held up his hand, and he pointed to the ring. Amy’s mouth dropped open, while Mom froze in her tracks.

“Are you serious?” Mom asked.

“Of course we are,” I replied.

“Wow,” Amy said. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you—”

“I love you guys,” Amy said as she hugged both of us at once.

Mom hugged us too, though she didn’t say anything. Her eyes were watering, so she just let her expression do the talking.

“So what happened?” Amy asked. “Who asked who?”

“Scott asked me,” Chad said.

“Have you decided when?”

“Well no—”

“Or where?”

I shook my head. “We haven’t gotten that far.”

“Wait a minute,” Dad said as he looked up from his paper. “What’s going on? What are you talking about?”

Amy ripped the paper out of his hands. “Dad!” she yelled. “Have you seriously not been listening?”

“I’ve been listening, I just don’t follow—”

“Chad has an engagement ring on his finger,” Amy snapped. “A ring that Scott gave him. And we were just congratulating them. And asking when the wedding would be.”

Dad blinked a few times. Then he suddenly seemed to put two and two together. “O-oh,” he said as he turned to me and Chad. “You got engaged?”

Amy smacked herself on the forehead. “Omigod, what is it with men? How clearly do you need things spelled out?”

Dylan didn’t say a word. I could tell if he’d been confused too, or if he was trying to stay neutral.

“Well,” Dad replied, “I guess that explains how the bed got destroyed.”

“Dad!” Amy yelled.

“What? We were all thinking it.”

I could feel myself blushing. I didn’t want my parents thinking of me and Chad having sex, even if Dad was absolutely right.

“Anyway, ignore him,” Amy said. “We’re gonna need to celebrate. We don’t need to go to Rosie’s thing, unless you really want to—”

“It’s fine,” I said. “We don’t need to make a big deal out of this.”

“I hate to break it to you,” Amy said, “but you getting married actually IS a big deal.”

I just shrugged. At that point, I wasn’t about to argue. I looked at Chad, and he looked right back; I could tell we both felt the same way.

This set the tone for the rest of our morning. Mom and Amy kept peppering us with questions, and they offered lots of unsolicited advice. Mom also told stories from when she and Dad got married. Chad and I just smiled and nodded and took it in stride.

I was especially relieved that Amy was cool with it, since she could’ve easily gotten jealous. Not only were we upstaging her and her new boyfriend— as much as we’d tried to avoid it— but I was also marrying a guy that I knew she’d been attracted to, at least before she’d met Dylan. Yet she seemed as excited as anyone, which I took as a good sign.

We were tempted to tell Chad’s family too, but we ended up holding off. We knew they wouldn’t be nearly as supportive, and we didn’t want to spoil the moment. My parents wanted to go out and celebrate, which we weren’t about to object to.

Most of that day was a blur. We all hung out as a family, strolling around Lincoln Park, posing for group pictures, going out for a nice lunch, and so on. We even let Dad talk us into visiting some random museums, which the rest of us didn’t care about, but Dad enjoyed them like a kid in a candy store.

We capped things off by going to see Amy’s friend Rosie. She was performing at a comedy club that night, and as soon as we got there, I had a weird feeling of deja vu. For one thing, the club was just outside of Boystown, where I’d hung out during my slut phase. I’d also never forgotten how Rosie had saved my ass when Chad and I were at our low point— and to be honest, I’d never properly thanked her. I kept thinking that if it hadn’t been for her, it was very possible that Chad and I wouldn’t have made it.

Rosie’s set was actually really good. She mostly made fun of herself, though she also picked on the people in the front row. Some off her off-color jokes made me cringe, considering my parents were sitting right there, but we all got some good laughs.

After the show, we were going to say hi to her when I heard a familiar voice. “Hey R.J.!”

Oh shit, I thought. The only people who called me R.J. were anonymous hookups from years before.

I turned around, and sure enough, I saw a muscle guy pushing through the crowd. I immediately recognized him as Gabe. “Long time no see!” he said. Then he started acting flirtatious. “Where’ve you been all this time?”

I didn’t want to be rude, but of all days, this was the day I did not want to run into old flames. “Oh, you know,” I said as calmly as I could, “just... keeping myself busy.”

Gabe nodded. “Is that so?”

“This is my fiancé,” I said without thinking. “Chad, this is Gabe. Gabe, Chad.”

“Oh wow,” Gabe said. “Fiancé, huh?”

I nodded. I didn’t know what else to say; I just kept trying to read the look on Chad’s face.

Gabe seemed to take my revelation in stride. “Well, congratulations,” he said. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s all good,” Gabe said. “You know, if you guys wanna have a drink—”

“Scott!” Amy said from the other side of the room. “Get over here!”

“Sorry,” I said to Gabe. “We gotta go.”

“It’s cool,” he said. “Hopefully I’ll see you boys around.”

“Yeah,” I said, though my stomach was tied up in knots. Chad clearly knew what was up. It was the first time he’d met one of my exes— if that was even the right word. Granted, I’d met Chad’s ex Valerie; but I felt like that was different, considering she was a girl and they’d been a full-blown couple.

“C’mere,” Amy said as she gestured toward Rosie, who was standing by her side.

“Hey!” I said to Rosie, and I gave her the obligatory compliments. I also thanked her for all she’d done for us. But as we talked, I noticed Chad was keeping an eye on Gabe; he kept tracking him through the crowd like a Terminator or something. I could tell Chad had a boner, though he kept it well-hidden, so the others had no idea.

I wanted to pull my man aside and talk to him one-on-one. But my family kept getting in the way, so I had to hold off till we got home.

Ironically, our main chore that night was to throw out the wreckage of my bed. We actually had to check how to legally get rid of it, since it was bulkier than our usual trash. I was almost tempted to keep a piece of it, maybe as a souvenir or something. But I figured this was as good a time as any to throw out a relic of my past.

We were supposed to leave it on the curb for an early-morning pickup. When we finished carrying it outside, that’s when Chad spoke up, though he didn’t say what I’d expected. “You know,” he said, “I want to know more about this.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “More about what?”

Chad straightened his back and looked out across the debris. He almost looked like a conquering hero. “Well... I’m obviously not the first person you fucked in that bed....”

“No,” I said, “but you’re obviously the last. For more reasons than one.”

“Uh-huh,” he said. “Is that where you did it with Gabe?”

“Say what?”

He turned and headed back toward the house. “I mean, considering we’re gonna be husbands... we should probably know the details about who all we’ve been with. And it goes both ways: I’ll tell you anything.”

I wasn’t sure what to make of this. On the one hand, it wasn’t the first time Chad had asked questions like this; he’d always seemed to love when other guys hit on me. On the other hand, I had to admit I felt weird about it. “Now wait,” I said. “Do you seriously like thinking of me with other guys?”

“Not exactly,” he said. “But you’ve gotta admit, we’ve all got pasts. It wasn’t like you and I were born the day we met... no matter what the romantics want to say.” He stopped in front of the garage door, and he put his arm around me. “I’ll tell you what I do like. I fucking love knowing you could’ve landed any guy... but you came back to me.”

“Oh come on. Who says I could’ve landed any guy?”

“Hey, don’t mess with my fantasy—”

“I mean, you already know how bad I wanted you. Why do you think I asked you to marry my ass?”

“That’s more like it,” he said, and he moved closer to me. “Tell me more.”

I paused for a second. I did want to tell him everything, but I wasn’t sure this was the place to do it. I ended up stepping back, opening the door, and pulling Chad into the house. “Okay,” I said as I took him into the guest room, and I locked the door behind us. “I guess you’ve got a right to know.”

“It’s not just about me,” he said. “You can ask me anything. No matter how private.”

“Okay,” I said, “who was the first guy you jacked off to?”

“Well... I learned to jack off by watching porn. Does that count?”

“I guess....”

“I mean, I’d heard of masturbation, like the kids at school would make jokes about it. But I didn’t want to ask questions, so I just Googled it. And I found a bunch of videos of guys beating off. I tried it for myself, right then and there... and that’s how I got myself off for the very first time. I remember thinking how amazing it felt... though as it turns out, I was just getting started.”

I licked my lips. I was starting to get a boner of my own.

“Maybe a month after that was when I discovered the nude beach. That was so much better than the Internet, the way I could watch those guys strip down and sunbathe and everything else.” He smiled as he savored the memory. “Then I’d come home, lock the door to my room... and I’d just go to town on my dick.”

“Did you ever join them?”

“I was definitely tempted,” Chad said, “but no, I just watched. From that overlook I showed you at the top of the cliff.” He closed his eyes, and he took a deep breath. “There was this one dude... a big muscle guy. Broad shoulders, huge biceps, the works. And a massive fucking cock. He got me so fucking horny, I barely made it home. I thought I was gonna need to jack off in the bushes.”

“Weren’t you sleeping with girls back then?”

“Not at first, but eventually yeah,” he said. “Of course, you know I always fantasized when I did it with girls. Hell, I probably wanted dick more than they did. And it took me forever to cum... though I tried to tell Valerie I just had stamina or whatever.”

I nodded. “Was that how she figured out you were gay?”

“I don’t know for sure,” he said, “but she always said I didn’t want to do it as much as she expected. My excuse was always that I was being respectful, and that I didn’t just see her as a sex object... which I guess was partly true. The dead giveaway was probably when she fingered my hole while I fucked her, which got me off a lot faster.”

“Huh,” I said. “It does seem weird to think of you fucking a girl....”

“Well, think of it this way,” he replied, and he put his arm around me. “I traded up... and I’m never going back.”

I gave him a quick kiss. “Same here,” I said.

“Speaking of which,” Chad said, “talk to me about this Gabe.”

“I-I guess he was cool and all,” I said. “But I only hooked up with him once, so it’s not like we actually dated. He’s one of those sophisticated gays, with a fancy apartment... you know the type.”

“How’d you meet him?”

“At a bar,” I said.

Chad caressed my crotch. “I’m guessing then he took you home?”

“Oh, so that’s where this is going?”

“If you want to put it that way.” Chad leaned closer and whispered in my ear. “I told you, I want to know details. What’d you do with him?”

I nodded. I had to admit, his questions did turn me on. “Well... he started by sucking my dick....”

“Was he good at it?”

I felt my cock start to throb. “He definitely knew what he was doing,” I said, “but he didn’t make me feel as good as you do....”

“Atta boy,” Chad said. He pulled me down on the bed, and he pressed his boner against me. “Did he make you cum?”

“Well... I-I mean not right then. I thought he was gonna fuck me, but he said he was a total bottom.”

“So in other words, he just wanted your dick.” As he said it, Chad opened my fly.

“If you want to put it that way.”

By now Chad had his hand on my cock, and was pulling it out. “Did you give him what he wanted?”

“Well yeah, like I said—”

“Did you like his ass?”

I ran my hands down Chad’s body. “It was nice,” I said, “but not like yours.”

“Mm,” Chad said as he moved in for a kiss. “How’d you fuck him?”

“Which time?” I asked as we started making out.

“You mean you fucked him more than once?”

“Technically twice,” I said. “The first time was on the couch... we started with him riding me, and we finished doggy-style. Later I fucked him in the shower, standing up. Plus we fooled around in the kitchen, though I’m not sure if that counts....”

“What do you mean, fooled around?”

“I gave him a blowjob,” I said, “and then he fingered me... and he jerked both of us off.”

Chad’s dick seemed to twitch. I could tell his hormones were raging. “You did all of that in one night?”

“Well, that and the next morning. But once I left his house, I never talked to him again.”

“Till tonight.”

I paused for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah,” I said, “till tonight.”

“What about the other guys you slept with?”

“Wait a minute,” I said. I rolled over in bed, so I was lying on top of him. “Shouldn’t you be telling me what you did too?”

“I mean... if you want to talk about what I’ve done with dudes, you pretty much already know.”

“Are you saying those guys on the beach were the only ones who made you horny?”

“Well no... I told you about my basketball team, didn’t I?”

“Not in detail.”

Chad let out a deep breath. “I used to stay in the locker room as long as I could,” he said. “I’d watch them get undressed, and shower, and everything else... I mean, it wasn’t like I was spying, they knew I was there. And we were all friends. But I tried not to be too obvious about it.” By now his dick was oozing pre-cum, and so was mine. “Like sometimes, when they left their jockstraps lying out, and I was there by myself... I used to hold them up to my nose and inhale. That’s how I knew I fucking loved a man’s scent—”

“And then what?”

“Well, you know the rest. It wasn’t that different than the beach. I’d just lock myself in the stalls and jack off.”

I pressed my body against Chad’s, so my boner was right against his. “Did you jack off to anyone in particular?”

“Well....”

“I know what that means,” I said. “You did, didn’t you?”

“I’m not denying it,” he said. “If you really want to know, his name was Brandon Stewart. He was usually our power forward. He was super cool... to the point I thought he might be trying to flirt with me. And he was always talking about his dick, and how he’d fuck girls with it and stuff....”

“What did it look like?”

“His dick?” Chad asked. “Well, he was cut. And he curved a little to the left. His right nut was bigger than the other. He had a lot of body hair, but his butt was pretty smooth... and it glistened when he got out of the shower.”

“It sounds like you remember really well.”

“I mean yeah. We were always having to get naked in front of each other.”

I looked down at Chad’s engorged cock. “You’re sure you never did anything with him?”

“If I did, I would’ve told you,” he said. “Not that I didn’t want to. Whenever we were at a tournament or whatever, they always booked two guys to each room, and I kept hoping he and I would get put together. I guess the closest we got was one time, when they put us in a hotel with free porn. The whole team got together and watched it... I wanted so bad for the other guys to whip out their dicks, especially Brandon—”

“So what happened?”

Chad clucked his tongue. “Not much,” he said. “Once it was over, we just went back to our rooms. Of course you can guess what I did: I jacked off in the bathroom. I’m guessing most of the others did too.”

“Mm,” I said. “I wish I could’ve been there.”

“I do too,” he replied, and he put his hand on my pants. “Anyway, I think it’s time you took off the rest of these clothes.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” I said as I got up, pulled off my clothes, and threw them aside. Chad got naked too, then motioned for me to get back in the bed.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” he said.

“What question?”

“About the other guys you slept with.”

I felt a pang of embarrassment, but then I looked in Chad’s eyes, which somehow got me to relax. “Well,” I said, “I’ll admit it... there were quite a few. How much detail do you want?”

Chad cupped his hands around my butt cheeks. “Who was the hottest?”

“I just... are you really sure about this?”

“I just told you about my high school crush. I’ve never told that to anyone. So if I can tell you my secrets—”

“Well,” I said, “I mean if you put it that way... I-I kind of liked the redhead....”

“What was his name?”

“I have no idea.”

“Seriously?”

“He was a Grindr hookup,” I said. “He was a really good dancer, but that’s about all I know.”

Chad took one hand off my ass, reached between us, and took both of our cocks in one hand. “What was so hot about him?”

“His dancing was actually part of it,” I said. “He did a helluva striptease. And he had a nice twink cock. With bright red pubes and everything.”

Chad started stroking both of us at once. “Tell me more about that cock,” he said. “Did he fuck you with it?”

“No,” I said. “He was a total bottom, same as Gabe. But he shot a hell of a load.”

“I bet he did, if he had your dick inside him....”

“I guess if you want to put it that way....”

“So when you were sleeping with these guys,” he said, “were you always the top?”

“No,” I said. “I bottomed for a bunch of them.”

“A bunch of them?” Chad asked. “How many dudes were you with, exactly?”

I felt another wave of nerves. “Well,” I said, “back then, I didn’t keep count... but you know why I was so horny?”

“Why?”

I looked directly in his eyes. Now our faces were just inches apart. “It was you,” I said. “Once I got to experience your dick... I mean, when we were apart that summer, I was craving it so bad. There wasn’t a damn thing that could’ve satisfied me... except you.”

Chad didn’t seem to know how to respond. “So you’re saying when we met, it was love at first sight?”

“Well,” I said, “if I’m gonna be honest, it started off more like lust... at least for me. But yeah, I was into you from the start.” I swallowed hard. “How about you?”

“I’ll tell you what,” Chad said. “After that first time we fucked, I was dying to find an excuse to come talk to you again. I wanted back in your pants like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Well... maybe I can relate.” I put my hand on his dick, which was practically dripping with pre-cum, and I spread my legs. “And now you can get in my pants for life.”

“That’s what I’m talking about,” he said. By this point, both of our bodies were primed for action. Chad quietly lubed up his cock and slid it inside me.

I let out a gasp. “Oh fuck yeah,” I said as we started making love. I savored the feeling of his penis, the way it opened me up, the way it slid back and forth... and most of all, the way my heart still pounded for him, even after all this time. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind, Chad was the most incredible guy I’d ever known. The love of my life. The dude I wanted to grow old with.

Chad seemed to read my mind. He started making out with me, which he seemed to relish just as much as I did. He let out a few moans, and his nose pressed right against mine, so we were both inhaling each other’s breaths.

I was so close, I knew I wouldn’t last long. Even without touching my dick, I was about to go over the edge.

Chad suddenly pulled out, and he grabbed both of our dicks with one hand. Then he jerked us both off, with our boners sandwiched together and our ballsacks bouncing into one another. It felt like both of our packages were merging into one.

A wave of ecstasy overtook me. I looked down just in time to see both of our penises erupting at once. Our cum mixed in mid-air, then splattered on my abs. Both of our bodies shuddered with pleasure, and we shot one follow-up jet after another, in almost perfect synchronization.

Once we were both finished, Chad leaned down and lapped up our loads. But instead of swallowing, he motioned for me to open my mouth.

I did as I as told, and we shared the cummiest kiss we’d ever had. It was impossible to tell how much of it was Chad’s load, and how much of it was mine, but it hardly seemed to matter. I could practically taste our sperm cells swimming together, mingling on an almost molecular level.

We let our juices slosh back and forth, from my mouth back into Chad’s, then back into mine, over and over. We coated our tongues, our gums, our tonsils, you name it, before we finally both swallowed.

“Mm,” I said as I felt our cum go deep inside my body. “You know what?”

“What?”

“I might’ve been with other guys,” I said, “but being with you is better than all of them put together. And I’m not just saying that... I would know.”

Chad snuggled up to me, and he put his hand on my chest. “You have no idea how much that means to me,” he said, “and if you’re gonna be stuck with me for life... I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

To be continued... only two chapters left!