Alliance of Gay Students

“How’ve you been, Aaron?” Jeremy reached up and pushed my bangs back.

All the stress and tension and thoughts boiled up to the surface as his fingers ran across my scalp. I burst into tears. “I’m sorry; I’ve just been tense, and now you’re here.” I pulled him close. He wrapped his arms around me. We stood like that for several minutes, and I got the front of his shirt wet. “Come on,” I finally said. “Where’s your stuff?”

“It’s just a backpack and this little suitcase.” He dragged them from the truck and slung the backpack over his shoulder.

I grabbed the small suitcase. “I already feel better,” I told him. “I’ve been feeling emotional since just before finals, and I didn’t want to give in to it. I guess that because I trust you, I just let go.”

Jeremy was nodding. “That may be true, but I sense that something else is bothering you. You can tell me when we get to your room.”

Shit, I was trying to put the Tom and Robin things behind me. Maybe not so much the Tom thing. We had both enjoyed that, and now that he had a guy he was dating, we rarely spoke. That wasn’t bothering me at all. I’d probably do the same thing. The Robin thing, on the other hand, was something I would need to confess. O stupidity, thou art my curse.

“My roommate took everything home except for his fridge. I’ve put drinks inside it.”

“Cool,” replied Jeremy as he dumped his backpack into one of the desk chairs. I kept holding the suitcase. “Put it down and talk to me.”

“I did something really stupid, Jeremy.” I put his suitcase down. “I thought I’d put it behind me, but I guess it’s still bothering me. I don’t know why. I can’t really do anything about it, and I’m certainly going to be more careful.”

“Did you have unsafe sex?” Jeremy asked me. His eyes never left mine.

“No. No. It wasn’t sex without a condom. I insisted he use one; he wasn’t happy about it, but the thing was, I didn’t know him. Since you were here, I’ve done it with two people. One was a guy I knew from the alliance, but the other one was someone I’d never seen before. I let my dick make my decisions. Even after he slapped me, I still let him.”

“He slapped you?”

“Yeah, he also choked me while he pushed my head down. It left marks. But it was my fault for not saying no. I was also stupid because I didn’t know him. I only found out his name by accident last week.”

“I heard you say you are going to be more careful,” Jeremy said. He sat with his hands folded in his lap.

“I’m never going to bring someone back to my room until I know his name and what his expectations are. I…”

“Then forgive yourself.”

“But…”

“Aaron! You didn’t commit a crime against me. I knew you were going to keep looking for fun. In fact, it kind of excited me that you might learn something that you could share with me. But you didn’t cheat on me. I hear guilt in your voice when you tell me what happened. I am so glad you weren’t seriously hurt, and I'm happy that you’ve realized what you need to do. So, stop beating yourself up. You’re human and make mistakes.”

He was right. I’d taken responsibility, but I hadn’t forgiven myself. I just kept calling myself stupid. “You’re right; thanks.” I think I smiled for the first time in several weeks.

“Now, there is something that we haven’t done and that I’ve been thinking about,” I saw Jeremy smile.

“What’s that?”

Jeremy’s cheeks became flush.

“Tell me,” I insisted.

His face moved closer to mine, and he kissed me gently.

I kicked off my shoes and moved more completely on the bed. He pulled his boots off and put them to the side before getting next to me. He kissed me again, still softly and gently.

“You know Aaron, I was reading, and several articles said that it’s not just about the fucking. There’s more to the sexual experience than that.”

“I like what you’ve shown me so far. Your lips are soft.”

“I’ve been using Vaseline lip therapy,” he chuckled.

He moved closer and his hand began to massage my chest as he pressed his lips against mine. I opened my mouth just slightly and kissed him back. I felt his tongue brush against my lower lip. The sensation made my dick twitch. I moved my hand down toward my crotch.

“Don’t,” Jeremy said. “Resist touching yourself.” He grabbed my wrists and held them above my head. He placed his knees between my thighs but allowed only our lips to touch. I wanted so much to rub my crotch against him.

The sudden thrust of his tongue into my mouth surprised me. I moaned. He pulled back and ran his tongue down my jawline to my ear. His hot breath in my ear made my dick throb. “I want you,” he whispered.

“Fucking take me,” I whimpered.

“Not yet.” He let go of my wrists. “Leave them there,” he commanded. His fingers began to unbutton my shirt. He pulled the shirt open and began to kiss and manipulate my left nipple. I could actually feel my nipple harden and protrude. He bit down just slightly on it and then moved to the right one.

“Please,” I begged.

“Shhh,” he said as he moved his head back up to mine and kissed me yet again. This time, his hands unbuckled my pants; he slid the zipper down and rubbed his hand over my underwear. My dick struggled to get loose. My wrists were still above my head, but I wanted to grab him. He must have sensed it because his left hand moved up and held them again.

“I want to trust you, but you have to keep your hands about your head,” he said.

“I need to touch you; I want you to fuck me.” I felt disoriented. The way his tongue caressed my body made me dizzy. He was nuzzling my neck. He licked me from one ear lobe to the other. He let go of my hands and stood up on his knees. Then he was standing on the floor and pulling my pants off.

“Remove your shirt.” I did so. “Now remove mine.” I did as he asked. He unbuttoned his pants and pulled them off. He removed his underwear and threw them on mine. He pushed me back on the bed, and getting between my legs, he pressed his groin to mine, trapping our dicks together. He rested his chest on mine and kissed me again.

I thrust my tongue into his mouth. I rubbed the tip of my tongue across his front teeth. I heard a squeaky noise. He thrust his tongue into my mouth, and I felt a movement from his hips and I sensed his cock moving against mine.

His tongue moved down to my nipples and then down to my navel. I felt his chin with just a slight stubble rub just above the base of my penis as he kissed my lower abs. His fingers wrapped around my cock, and his tongue licked over my slit, cleaning the precum from it. He encircled the head with his lips and began to move up and down the shaft. I was on sensory overload, and everything he had done was with his mouth.

Wanting to taste his dick, I wiggled myself around. “I want to suck you while you suck me.” With his mouth on my cock, I positioned myself to suck his. We were soon moaning with penis-filled oral cavities.

“Slow down, less pressure,” Jeremy said after pulling his lips from my dick. “I don’t want to come just yet. He ran his tongue across my taint and across my man cunt.

“Fuck, the feels good,” I let out a gasp. I twisted around and grabbed a rubber and the lube. He was going to have to start fucking me soon. I gasped again as he fingered me. He knew just the right angle to find my spot, that spot that every man has that sends him through the roof. “Rub it, baby, rub it,” I told him.

He continued to finger me, this time with some lube. I still had the condom, and I unrolled it over his stiff cock. He pulled me around and spooned me. I could feel his dick poking my balls. With his left arm under my shoulder and bent at the elbow, he moved my right leg up and held it with his left hand. His right hand guided his dick to my hole. He pushed himself inside gently. I felt the pressure change and the wonderful sensation of his being in me. His thrusts were also gentle, caring. Did I love him, or did I just love it when he fucked me?

Lips began to caress my ear. He nibbled; his tongue massaged my lobe. “I’m not going to last long.”

“It’s ok. I need you to come when you’re ready. Just enjoy it. Go with it.” I felt his thrusts quicken, and he made this adorable grunt when he came. He let his dick slip out and let go of my leg and held me. We didn’t say anything. He pulled me close to him. If I could have saved that moment forever, I would have. It was comfortable, and I felt cared about. Was that love in its simplest form? I think I would have run away with him to a deserted island and done my best to take care of him. What was he thinking? Should I ask? Would his thoughts crush me? I turned to face him. “What are you thinking about?”

“You and me.”

His eyes met mine. I raised my eyebrows; I wanted him to say more.

“It’s just that… well, this feels special to me. I like you. You’ve been with two other guys, and you still came back to me. They gave you sex. Is that all I’m giving you? Is it just that and nothing else? Or is it just that the sex with me is better?”

“The sex with you is better, but I think it’s because there’s more than that. I know that we’re friends. And I don’t want to lose that.”

“So are we friends with benefits?” asked Jeremy.

“We’re at least that, but I’m feeling more. You’re already my best friend. You were my best friend on the first day I met you. No one has ever treated me the way you have. But I’m worried…”

“About what?”

I took a deep breath. I knew I could be honest with him. “That you’ve not done any other guys. That you don’t know how good it really is when we’re together.”

“Do you want to do other guys so you can be sure about us? To know whether we’re just best friends who fuck or whether you’re falling in love with me?”

That was blunt and honest. I was taken aback, but then I realized that was one of the reasons that I knew I could trust him. “I’m not sure being with other guys will change what I’m feeling about you. I’m concerned that while you’re away at school, I might start thinking with my dick again. I won’t do anything dumb, but I might want to get my rocks off. That would ruin things for us, wouldn’t it.”

“I’ve read about guys who are partners or married, but they fuck around with other people. As long as they both know about it and aren’t hiding things, it works for them.”

“Do they tell their partner every time they’re with someone else, or what?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I guess it’s for them to decide.” He adjusted his position on the bed. “I need to throw this condom away. He pulled, and it snapped off the end of his cock. He got up and tossed it in the trash. “I’m starting school here in the first summer session. I got approved for early admission, so I don’t need to wait until the fall.”

“Are we going to request to be roommates, or are you going to room with your brother?”

“Spencer and Ryan are getting an apartment, so I thought we could be roomies. I don’t think we should bring other guys back to our room. It should just be for us.”

“And what about dating other guys?”

Jeremy sat next to me. “What if we date other guys until next Christmas? By then, we should know if we’re just friends.”

“What if we know before that?” I asked him.

“Then we’re honest with each other. Like now, and as we’ve always been.” He smiled at me. “Right now, I want to take a shower with you, and then I want to know what it feels like to have you inside me.”

“I’ve never done that before.”

Jeremy leaned forward and kissed me. “Until you, I’d never done it before.”

I smiled back at him.