A Parent's Choices

William was still concerned about his father.  Joseph was still grieving; William could tell.  They knew that Rodney had not been in contact with his family for years, and since Joseph was not related, he was unable to get information.  He had continued to ask for information using text to Rodney’s number, but no one ever replied.

About a month after moving into his home, an unseasonably cold front blew through. Dark clouds hung low. William’s sister Chloe knocked on his door.

“I think I might have done something stupid,” she said. “Dad was getting on my nerves while I was over there, and I told him to snap out of it. I said it was time to get on with his life.”

“What’d he say?”

“He said he needed to take a shower.”

“Aw, fuck, Chloe. He didn’t holler or cry? He just…”

“He just walked out of the room and I heard the shower turn on. You go check on him and text me. I need to go.” She hugged him and left. William grabbed his keys and headed over to his father’s. He found Joseph freshly showered and dressed in running shorts and a t-shirt.

“You know it’s cold outside, don’t you?” he asked.

“I’m not going out. I’ve decided it’s time to do the remodel that I’ve been planning for years. I hate that shower; it’s too small, and the tile is too dark.”

“Just the bathroom? Or…”

“No,” Joseph interrupted. “I’m going to have it all done. You remember the plan. It’s on the table.”

William walked over to the dining table and looked at the paper he had seen several times. He remembered when Rodney drew it up. It entailed enlarging the master bedroom, a bigger master bathroom, moving the washer and dryer into a room adjoining the master closet, opening the kitchen up to the living room, as well as improving the closet space for the two bedrooms and the bathroom by adding space to the back of the house. “That’s an ambitious plan, Dad.”

“Sure is. I’m going to move stuff into the garage. I might buy new living room furniture.”

“I’ll take the old, it’s still good.”

“You can have it.”

“Are you going to stay with me while it’s under construction?” asked William.

“Nope. I’m going to South America.” Joseph grinned. “I leave next week.”

“For how long? Two-week cruise or something?”

“For a job. A couple of days ago, the foreman asked me if I’d help out with a project down there. I told him I’d think about it. I have. It’s the perfect time to be away; I won’t have the stress of seeing the house every day.”

“I will,” William laughed.

“You are not allowed to come over. They’ll be releveling the house and placing it on better concrete piers.”

“OK. I’ll stay away, but you know, I live next door.”

“Yeah, son, but I know you’re up to the challenge.”

Six weeks later, Joseph was out of the country, the house was up on girders, and William’s washer and dryer were back-ordered for another week. Since he could use the washer and dryer at his father’s, he gathered his necessary clothes and headed to the Wash’n’Dry. William grumbled as he stuffed the laundry baskets into the back seat followed by two large cloth bags of dirty clothes. “Why didn’t I order those things sooner?” he yelled at himself. “I hate going to the laundromat.” He considered stopping to get a drink, maybe a chocolate malt, then decided against it. He’d been eating better since David commented on his body.

The first thing he did upon arriving was clean one of the folding tables. He brought his two bags in and loaded three washers. Once he had them going, he took his bags to the car and brought in his baskets. Only one other person was washing clothes at the time, and she had not responded to his hello. William sat in a chair near the washers and in front of the dryers that he hoped to use when the wash was done.

The door opened and a cool blast of air followed by a man with two baskets and a baby came in. William got up immediately and went to help him. “How in the world are you carrying all that?” he laughed as he said it.

“Practice, man. Lot’s of practice. This baby sling helps a lot.”

William took the top basket from him and placed it on one of the machines washing his clothes. “These three are clean, I checked them all out before starting mine.” He looked down at the baby boy. “Are you helping out on laundry day?”

The baby smiled at William.

“You’re really cute, aren’t you?” And, thought William, you’re dad pretty damn cute himself.

“His name is Liam.”

“Pleased to meet you, Liam. I’m Will.”

“And I’m Drew. ”

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Drew. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Well, there is another bag in the car, in the front seat. Could you get it for me?” He handed me the key fob. “And lock it after?”

“Sure.” William headed out and retrieved a large blue Ikea bag. The car beeped when he locked it. He turned back to see Drew loading one of the washers. Why did he have to be so attractive?

Andrew Brown filled the washer with white towels and t-shirts. William placed the bag on the washer two over. “So how old is he?”

Liam turned to look at William.

“He’s ten months, and he’s a genius.”

William laughed. “A genius.”

Liam’s hands lifted out toward William as he squirmed in the sling.

“What are you doing there?” asked Drew.

Liam uttered something that sounded like ‘wheel’.

Drew looked up at William. “He wants you to take him. He never does that. He must like you. Wait, is he trying to say your name?”

“May I hold him?”

“You’re not a kidnapper, right?”

“Actually, until now, I’ve tended to avoid kids. This guy is adorable, but I’m not a kidnapper.”

“Good, I don’t have any money to pay a ransom.“ He freed Liam from the sling and handed him to William. Liam grabbed onto his shirt and rested his head against his chest. William moved side to side as he held Liam while Drew finished loading the washers.

“Let me know when you’re tired of holding him.”

“How could you ever get tired of holding him?” William asked.

“He can get cranky at times, but he’s a great kid. I think he’s pretty smart which is a lot more than I can say for his parents.”

“So you’re not his father?”

“Not biologically. Hey, let’s sit down,” Drew said.

They sat down where William had been sitting. “So you’re babysitting?”

“No. He’s mine now.”

Liam’s grip on William’s shirt seemed to tighten slightly as he wiggled around to get comfortable. It felt really good to hold him. There was a story there, but William didn’t pry. Drew eyed him carefully. “You want to know the details, but you’re too polite to ask,” he said.

“Yeah, you’ve read me correctly.” William smiled. Liam’s eyes closed and his breathing became regular.

“It’s not really very interesting.”

“Yeah?” William whispered. “I think it’s already put Liam to sleep.” William shook his head slightly. “I don’t want to pry.”

“Most people do,” replied Drew. “The fact that you don’t makes me want to tell you. The way you’re holding him and the way he went to you make me think you’ll understand.”

Liam moved his hand just slightly. William wanted to be friends with the man sitting next to him. He wondered whether it was because of the baby that he was holding or was it because he seemed so nice and friendly? Plus, William realized that he was physically attracted to the man.

“My sister gave birth to him. She’d always slept around, but she’s always made her boyfriends use protection. My mother drilled it into us. My sister and I have different fathers and were born when my mother was still a teenager. My sister’s father accepted her, but he went to prison when she was little. The man whom my mother claimed was my father insisted on a paternity test. It turned out that he wasn’t my father. So I don’t know who my dad is, and my dad doesn’t know I exist.” Why am I telling him this, thought Drew. Why do I feel the need to divulge my secrets to him?

“So, anyway, my mother always insisted we use protection. We got the talk when we were ten. But, you know, protection isn’t one hundred percent. Before he was born, I heard my sister saying that she was going to leave him at the fire station, and she was going to go to California with her boyfriend. I convinced her to give him to me. She listed me as the father and gave a fake name for herself.”

William reached over and touched Drew’s hand with his. “It’s the stuff of soap operas, isn’t it,” said Drew.

“What you did was really beautiful,” William replied. His eyes were moist.

“I didn’t realize how hard it would be.” Drew looked down at the floor. “Things are tough. I thought my mom would help me a little, but she wants nothing to do with me. She says I should have let my sister get rid of him. There’s a daycare on campus, and I’ve been able to get some financial aid to help us until I graduate and can get a regular job.

“I admire what you’re doing.” In his head, William felt the gears spinning. When my washer and dryer get here, he could bring his stuff to my place. I could spend the day with him, and Liam would have a clean place to play. I heard my first washer stop.

“Want to hand him back?”

“No,” said William flatly. “I love holding him.” William’s eyes looked down at the little boy. “Liam,” he whispered, “time to go back to your daddy.”

Drew took him, and William began moving his clothes into the dryer. “How do you manage this when you’re alone?”

“He sits in a laundry basket. I don’t want him crawling around on the floor, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” replied William. “Sometimes I don’t like walking on the floor, even in my shoes. And this is the cleanest laundromat in town.”

William and Andrew continued to talk as they transferred clothes to the dryers and folded the dry clothing. When he was finished, William loaded his car but came back in to continue their conversations. They exchanged phone numbers, and when Drew finished his laundry, William helped him load the car. As they said good-bye, William said, “I’m planning to go to the park near the airport on Sunday afternoon. Do you think Liam would like to watch the planes?”

“Are you asking Liam out on a date?” chuckled Drew.

“Yeah, I am. I think we got along pretty well. We’ll have a picnic. I’ll bring my camera in case he wants to take some shots of the airplanes. I’ll even provide the food. I’m the one asking him out, after all. Maybe you’d like to join him. It’s fun watching the planes.”

Drew bent down into the car. “What do you think, Liam?” Will wants to know if you want to go to a grown-up airplane park. Yeah?” He stood up in front of me. “He says it sounds like fun.”

“I’ll pick you up on Sunday.” William had the urge to kiss Drew, but he resisted. While they had flirted several times during the time together, neither had admitted to being gay. Take your time with this, William told himself. “Is eleven-thirty too early?”

“Why not eleven? I’d like… I mean, I’m sure Liam would like to have a little bit of extra time with you.”

Shit, thought William, why is the urge to fuck this man so strong? He smiled. “Eleven, then.” He fixated Drew’s eyes. “I like you. I think you’re a special man. Can I text you later?”

Drew smiled. “I’d be sad if you didn’t.” He got into the car. William pushed the door shut.

“Good-bye, Liam,” he called into the car, watching them drive away as he went to his car and drove home. He had the urge to tell his father about Drew, but as he looked over at the construction mess around Joseph’s home, he knew that texting his father would be expensive. Maybe after the first date would be a better option, he decided.

Sunday was two days away. William wished he had invited him to go tomorrow. He stopped at the store and picked up what he needed. He decided to clean the house in case the two of them came back with him after the picnic.

That night, he felt like a teenager as he began to text Drew.

William: I had a great time talking to you today, and I enjoyed holding Liam. He’s really sweet. I can see where he gets it.

Drew: I had a good time, too. Best time I ever had doing laundry.

Drew: I’ve never met anyone like you.

William: Is Drew your real name, or is it a nickname?

Drew: It’s Andrew, but everyone calls me Drew.

William: Do you prefer Drew or Andrew?

William: Or Andy?

Drew: No one has ever called me Andy.

William: Maybe I should start. Will it set me apart from your other friends?

Drew: You’ve already set yourself apart.

Drew: I need to tell you something.

Drew: It’s easier to say in a text.

Drew: I’m gay.

William: Thanks for telling me.

There was a pause in the texting.

William: I’m gay, too, and, I really like you.

Drew: I really like you, too.

William: Should I start calling you Andy?

William: I really wanted to kiss you this afternoon.

Three minutes passed with no messages sent. William was beginning to feel sick to his stomach.

Drew: Sorry about that. Liam dropped something, and I heard it and had to investigate. He’s fine.

Drew: I wanted to hold your hand while we were talking. I think you’re a special guy. I haven’t had luck with guys I’ve dated.

William: I want to know whether we’ll be good friends or something more.

Drew: I don’t want a friend with benefits.

William: I’m not saying that.

Drew: Sorry, I didn’t mean to say you were; I was just saying that I don’t want that.

William: I don’t want that either. I want someone to love, who loves me. Who won’t duck the first cute guy who comes along. A real relationship.

Drew: I want that, too.

Drew: Will you call me Andy?

William: Yes, Andy, I will.

Drew: I wish we could go for a walk and hold hands before we go to sleep.

William: I can drive over.

Drew: No, it’s getting dark; it’s not safe here at night.

William: It’s not safe where you live? Where do you live?

Drew: Balfour Apartments

William: There are all those drug busts there

Drew: I know.

William: Why don’t we go to the park tomorrow?

Drew: I have to study tomorrow.

William: I’d say why can’t you study on Sunday, but I guess you know best.

Drew: Believe it or not, Saturday here during the day is usually very quiet. Sundays are not.

William: You could study here on Sunday. It’s always quiet. I can take Liam to the park.

Drew: Sounds tempting.

William: Airplanes tomorrow, study on Sunday. You tell me.

Drew: OK. Let’s try.

William: You’ve made me happy.

Drew: Yeah?

William: Sure. I get to see Liam a day early.

Drew: Ha ha ha.

William: I’m looking forward to seeing you, too.

Drew: Same here. I want to keep talking but I have to get a chapter read before bed.

William: I understand. Sweet Dreams.

Drew: Same to you, and I think Liam wants you to meet his puppy, so I think we’ll bring him to the picnic. See you tomorrow.

William reread the last text. A puppy? A handsome, hot, sexy man; the cutest kid I’ve ever seen; and a dog? Did I just buy a ticket for a roller coaster ride? He looked across the room. Fuck but that man makes me hard. William realized that he hadn’t put away the groceries or the laundry. Plus, he’d only done some half-ass cleaning. And crap, he thought, what if it rains? They’d have the picnic in the living room. “Shit,” he said aloud, “I need to clean this place up.”

William ran around the house like a madman. He prepped some of the food for the next day, straightened his bookcase, and even put sheets on the twin bed in the spare room. He decided to vacuum one more time, and he used his Crosswave to clean the hardwood in the living room and the tile in the kitchen. When he finally went to bed, he laid on the top of the blanket. He decided to take a shower before crawling into bed, but he fell asleep instead.

“I wish I had a nice car,” muttered William. “A newer one would be safer for Liam.” He loaded up the picnic supplies and headed to Walmart. “I’ve got no fucking clue what kind of car seat to buy,” he hummed over and over again as he drove to Walmart. Twenty minutes later he was two hundred twenty dollars poorer with a convertible car seat in the back seat. He headed over to Andy’s apartment humming. “So I bought a fucking car seat for a kid I’m in love with. I sure hope he likes it. I bet the first thing he does is throw up on it.” Then he chuckled to himself, “I’ve lost my mind.”

When William carried Liam to the car, Liam held tightly to a little stuffed dog. “Pup,” Liam repeated several times.

“I like your puppy,” William told him. Andy had to help William with the car seat, but before long, they started out.

Liam fell asleep on the way to the park. He seemed to enjoy pointing at the planes as they took off and landed. He snuck hand holding with Andy and got some great candids of Andy and Liam and dozens of shots of Liam. Andy took a few selfies of the three of them, and when it came time to go, William was a little sad. He drove them back to Andy’s apartment. He didn’t like the look of the complex, but he wasn’t sure that it was actually “the look” or all the news reports he’d heard. He said goodbye with a squeeze of Andy’s hand and headed back home.

Another quick trip to the supermarket to buy a few things for the next day didn’t take long. He found out that Liam loved Gerber baby foods. Andy was able to get them through a program from the university that assisted students with children. Liam would not go hungry at his house. William put the jars away and decided to text Andy to find out whether he was ready for a study break.

William: Ready for a break?

Andy: Haven’t got any studying done so far. Drug bust upstairs.

William: You OK?

Andy: I think the guy is dead. He shot at the police. He shot through my ceiling. Forensic people are here. Liam’s beside himself.

William: I want you to come here.

William: Can you come now?

Andy: Don’t know; I’ll ask.

Andy: Yeah, the head cop said I could. He’s going to get an officer to help me put Liam’s stuff in the car. I appreciate this.

William: not a problem

William: Just bring the important things we can’t get at the store; I can run to the store for anything else you need.

Andy: I think I’ll be fine; I don’t have a lot anyway.

Andy: Send me directions

William texted directions and then stood at the window waiting until he saw Andy’s car pull into the driveway. He ran out to the carport.

“Covered parking for your guests; that’s cool.”

“I put it up when you texted that you were coming,” William joked.

“Thanks so much for letting me come. This is the first time someone shot into the apartment. The police told me there was extra investigation right away because of the guy being shot by the police. He said they could be there all night. He also said the guy had a meth lab.”

William hugged him. “I’m so glad you weren’t hurt. Let me help you get this stuff inside. Oh. Look who’s there.”

Liam put his arms out. “Me. Hold.”

William’s mouth dropped. “What the fuck! Did he just tell me to hold him?”

“Yep. I’m surprised he didn’t say anything this afternoon at the park, but maybe he was still assessing you.” Andy laughed.

“Oh, you know I’m going to hold you if you ask me to,” William said to Liam. He took him from the car seat and held him. “Sorry, Dad, you’re going to have to unload and bring into the house on your own. My boyfriend wants me to hold him.” He danced around a little bit. Liam giggled, and William enjoyed showing Liam his awful dance moves. When Andy took the last bag into the house, William followed him and latched the door.

Two large bags, a playpen, and a cooler filled the alcove next to the kitchen. “Things for the fridge first?” William asked. “I’ll move the bags into the spare room.” He carried one bag at a time and placed them on the twin bed. “I was going to call in a pizza, but I wasn’t sure what kind you wanted,” William called out.

“I like anything except green olives; oh, and I don’t like peppers.”

“You’re my kind of man.” I called the pizza in. Liam waited patiently, and as soon as I hung up the phone, he said, “Me. Dow.”

“He should probably go in the playpen,” said Andy.

“No,” said Liam. “Flo.”

“The floor is clean if you’re worried about it. I’m kind of neurotic about it.”

“OK, Liam,” Andy said directly to him. “But stay where I can see you.”

William put Liam down, and he immediately grabbed William’s leg and pulled himself up. He was wobbly, but William was impressed.

Andy looked at him. “He’s been trying to stand for about a week. I worry that he’ll fall and get hurt, but I’m probably being overprotective. I’m sure my mother just turned me loose, and I survived.”

“Has he tried to walk?” William inquired.

“Only when I hold both his hands. He tried to coordinate his legs.”

I bent forward and put my fingers out to see if he would grab them. He let go of my leg to grab one of my fingers, and then he laughed and sat down. He crawled away and sat on the edge of the rug in the living room before turning to face us. “Come.”

“I can see who’s in charge already.”

“You’re the one giving in,” Andy reminded me.

We both walked over and sat next to him. He reached up to Andy’s shirt and pulled himself up to give Andy a kiss.

“Whoa,” I laughed. Then he reached over to me, grabbed my shirt, and kissed me. I smiled and laughed, but inside, I was fighting back tears. I’d fallen in love with this kid. He was giggling.

I looked up at Andy, and he said, “My turn.” He leaned in and gently kissed me.

Liam let go and sat down. He squealed and clapped his hands.

“I know I’m supposed to wait until the end of our first date, but I couldn’t resist.”

“I don’t want you to resist,” said William. “Ever. I have a surprise for you.”

“For me?”

“Kind of for me, too. I’m getting a washer and dryer. They’re supposed to come next week. I have a laundry room next to the kitchen, so they’ll go in there. I know it will take longer to do clothes because there’s only one machine, but the floor is clean here. Of course, you can still go to the other place if you…”

“Stop rambling. If you’ll stop talking, I’ll be able to thank you,” said Andy, and he leaned over and kissed me again.

Liam grabbed my shirt again to pull himself up, and he kissed me, too.

“We need to find you some toys or a baby brother,” I laughed.

“Where would we find a baby brother?” Andy asked Liam. Liam just laughed and crawled to the couch.

We heard a car in the driveway. Andy stood up. “Pizza.”

“Peez-ah,” echoed Liam.

William stood up. “Can he eat pizza? Doesn’t it need to be put in the blender?” He went to the door.

“I’ve given him a tiny piece that I cut from the end, and he’s happy. I never thought about making it a purée.”

William opened the door to see David. “How are you?” he asked.

“Things are fantastic, Willie. I’ve been texting Jay, and things look promising. Plus, I just feel better in general.”

Andy walked up. “You must order pizza a lot.”

“Not really,” William replied. “This is a friend that I’ve known since elementary school. David, this is Andy. Andy, David.”

There were nods of the head and “Nice to meet you” before David handed the pizzas over.

“Take it easy,” David called back as he went to his car.

A few hours later, Andy and William were sitting on the couch holding hands; they were no longer hungry. Liam sat at William’s feet. Classical music played. Liam pulled himself up and looked at William. “Di-pah.”

Andy smiled. “I’ll take care of it.”

“No,” said Liam. “Wi-oh.”

“My name is Will. You couldn’t possibly want me to change your diaper.”

“Di-pah,” he repeated.

William leaned forward and lifted him. “Every job has its shitty part. Should we take care of it in the bathroom? Then you can have a bath.”

“I’ll bring what we need.”

Changing Liam was not as awful as William had imagined. Wiping his little ass clean was fairly easy, and once the tub water was warm, the two men washed him and rinsed him. We shared a few more kisses while he splashed in the water. He smelled really nice as William dried him off. He got a new diaper, and William put him in the playpen. The classic music was still playing, and William turned the volume down and turned off the lights. He was asleep in minutes.

Andy turned to William and put his arms around my neck. “I’ve never felt more comfortable around another person. Almost from the instant that I met you, you put me at ease, and I felt that I could trust you.” He kissed me; it wasn’t hard and rushed. It was gentle and caring. His tongue caressed my lips and rubbed against my tongue.

“I’m in turmoil right now,” said William. “I want you to go to bed with me, but at the same time, I think we should take things slow. I don’t want to mess this up.”

“I always believe in erring on the side of caution. I think you should go to bed by yourself.”

William was slightly crushed by his statement. He nodded his head and released his hold on Andy. “Sleep well. Let me know if you need anything.” He walked toward his bedroom.

“Just so you know, Willie,” Andy started.

William turned.

“I want you. I want you to fuck my brains out. It’s just that… It’s too soon.”