A Parent's Choices

Joseph began to watch a man who was about fifty yards from the swings.  The man appeared to be by himself.  William noted the change in his father’s demeanor and stopped pumping his legs.  The swing slowed as Joseph got up and drew nearer to his boy.  “You can keep swinging.  I’m just going to stand closer to you.”

William began to swing again, and the man continued walking. Joseph noticed his ass, it reminded him of Anthony at work. The man was soon out of the park. Joseph watched him the entire time and saw him disappear down the street. He glanced over his shoulder toward his home on Cherub Lane. A gust of wind gave him a chill and reminded him of what his home life had become.

Joseph couldn’t remember when he had first noticed that Rhonda had begun to grow distant and unhappy in her role as a housewife; although, it was the role she had chosen. He had tried to be supportive and offer her alternatives such as going back to school, trying to get a job, or even volunteer work. He increased the frequency of their having sex. That had backfired.

When he got home from work earlier that day, Rhonda announced that she was pregnant, three months along. Previous pregnancies had ended at about two months. The doctors said they had been lucky with William. She had waited to tell him until she was three months along. Maybe another child would make her happier, but something told him that things with Rhonda would not end well; she had become distant, nasty. He tried to do everything he thought a good husband would do; he was going to do his best to make sure that it wasn’t his fault if things went south. He wasn’t going to let distractions like Anthony ruin things for him.

Joseph sighed. At least they wouldn’t be in financial hardship. Last week he had considered asking Rhonda if she would be happier if he left with William. He turned to look at his joy swinging and smiling. Sometimes, he wondered whether, if he had the choice, he would go back and tell his sixteen-year-0ld self that life would be easier if he came out and endured the ridicule and loss of friends instead of deciding to meet with Rhonda.

He went over and picked up his son and held him tightly. But if he had never met Rhonda, there would be no William, and William was his life.

The tenth-anniversary photo of Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Anderson included their children, nine-year-0ld William and his four-year-old sister Chloe. There were smiles all around, but only Chloe was truly happy. After the birth of Chloe, the marriage had become sexless. Rhonda repeatedly said she wasn’t in the mood for sex, and eventually, Joseph stopped trying to initiate intimacy.

Joseph’s eyes began to wander more often, but his dick stayed at home. He jerked off in the shower and was glad to watch his sperm go down the drain rather than chance another pregnancy. He loved Chloe, loved her with his whole heart, but he had seen his wife turn her back on William to shower the young girl with all her love.

Rhonda had begun to despise her husband. His love-making had become mechanical, perhaps it had always been that way, but now she had the little girl she had always wanted. Her vibrator took care of her horniness, and as long as Joseph kept William out of her hair, she could plan to escape with Chloe. She just needed to wait until the time was right. Until then, a glass or two of wine would help get her through the day.

The clouds hung low that Friday on Cherub Lane. Rhonda put Chloe down for her afternoon nap and poured herself a fourth glass of wine when she saw William coming up the walk. She went to the couch, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She looked across the street and noticed the boy across the street; he was gangly and wearing dark glasses. He seemed taller than she remembered. How long ago had it been since she had seen him or talked to him. She fantasized about being with him.

William came into the house and walked up to his mother.

“In your room,” she pointed. “And don’t come out until you are told to.”

William knew better than to argue.

Rhonda waited until she heard the click of the door and then went outside and called Steven.

He looked up at her and then ran across the street. “Yes, Mrs. Anderson?”

“Call me Rhonda, Steven. You’re so grown up now.”

The eighteen-year-old turned red. “Yes, ma’am, Rhonda.”

“You have a girlfriend, Steven?” She reached out and touched his chest.

“No. No girlfriend.” He smiled, and his cheeks flushed.

“Aw. No one to take care of your needs.” Her finger traced down to his waistband. She saw a movement in his bulge. “I guess that’s good,” said Rhonda. “I wouldn’t want you to have to lie to her.

“Um. What?” he asked as he cleared his throat. “Why would I have to lie?” His breathing became shallow as he felt his dick twitch with her touch.

“I’m horny, Steven. I’m sure you’re horny. Aren’t guys your age always horny?”

“Well, yeah, I guess.” He looked down at the ground.

“Oh, Stevie. I need you to fuck me.” She stepped closer to him. “Don’t you want to put your dick in me?”

Steven couldn’t believe someone would want to fuck him let alone just say she wanted to fuck him. “Of course, I do. I’m horny, Mrs… um… Rhonda. Oh, fuck. You’re making me hard.”

“Then let’s go do it. Come on in.”

Steven followed her to the bedroom. She took her clothes off and told him to get naked. He did, and he stood facing her with his hormones racing and the biggest dick she had ever seen. Eight inches of thick, straight cock pointed at her.

Rhonda got on the bed and spread her legs. “I’m horny, and I’m wet. Stick that dick in me.”

Steven crawled between her legs and pushed his cock into her. Rhonda squealed. It had been a long time since she had a man inside her. He began to pump too rapidly. “Slow down, Stevie. We’ve got all afternoon.”

Rhonda felt satisfied when Steve left. He’d fucked her twice, and she planned on having him again, and often. She met with the boy from across the street at least twice a week, but always while William was at school and Chloe was down for a nap.

Joseph noticed a change in his wife; she seemed happier and was drinking less. She continued to avoid his attempts at intimacy, claiming that since the birth of Chloe, she just wasn’t interested in sex. She told Joseph that if he wanted to have an affair, just to keep it a secret. But Joseph, even though the desire to be with someone burned more brightly within him, kept to his promise.

Rhonda’s affair with Steven had been ongoing for almost a year when Joseph opened a letter from their health insurance company. The letter advised him that a procedure performed at a local clinic was part of an investigation into insurance fraud. The letter stated that the clinic was accused of fraudulent billing of abortions under other procedure codes and asked Rhonda to voluntarily submit a questionnaire.

The next day, Joseph left work at lunch and traveled home. He heard the bedroom noises as soon as he entered the house. He opened the bedroom door to find the man from across the street, only four years younger than Joseph, pounding his wife.

“Not even the decency to stop fucking when I walk into the room? How long has this been going on?”

“You’re home early, dear,” said Rhonda.

Steven rolled to the side and tried to cover himself with the blanket.

“Don’t bother Steve; you don’t have anything I haven’t seen,” snapped Joseph.

“Sorry, Mr. Anderson.”

“Fuck off, Steve.” Joseph went to the closet and pulled his clothing; he was breathing rapidly. “You know, bitch, it should be you who leaves, but I don’t think I could stand your stench. So, did you think you could hide the abortion from me?”

Rhonda turned to Steven. “Stay right there. We can finish after he’s gone. I’m just going to help him.” She got up and retrieved a suitcase and filled it with socks and underwear from Joseph’s dresser drawer. “You know, if you’d been better in bed…”

“That’s not what you said that first time. You told me I was better than all the other guys you’d fucked. I’m sure that’s what you told this one, too.”

“Fuck you, Joe.” She took the suitcase outside to the car with no thought to the fact that she was wearing nothing. “Don’t forget your shoes.” She turned and went back into the house and the bedroom. She pulled the last two t-shirts from the closet and tossed them into the hall before locking the bedroom door.

While Rhonda continued her activities with the neighbor, Joseph loaded his car Chloe, and as many of their belongings as he could fit. When finished, he called his parents. They reluctantly agreed to let him stay. He knew they had never liked Rhonda and had been against his marriage, but they had fallen in love with William and tolerated her. They had complained to him that they noticed how she treated William differently after Choe’s birth. Now, he thought, they’d have plenty of time to nag him with how right they were. But they weren’t. And William was proof of that, and little Chloe, maybe she would be OK as well. ‘I should have gone years ago,’ he thought. Then he drove to William’s school to pick him up.

A year later, Joseph was divorced and living in a small house with his son. Rhonda fought to get custody of Chloe; Joseph fought against it. A judge decided to give Rhonda custody with Joseph’s having weekly visitation rights. Before Chloe’s birth, while he and Rhonda were still having regular sex, Joseph often thought of his handsome coworkers while he fucked his wife. Later, when she cut him off, he thought about them more often, but while his eyes may have wandered over the years, his dick had stayed in his pants. Now, at twenty-seven, he was no longer bound by his pledge of faithfulness; however, he believed that William was too young to understand his father’s desire to be with men. As much as he wanted to have occasional evenings with men, similar to those he’s spent with Robert so many years before, he remained steadfast.

William, on the other hand, began to wonder why his classmates were beginning to talk about girls. He wanted to see what the other boys looked like without clothes. He was fascinated by his penis and had discovered that by touching it in a certain way, it would become very stiff and feel really good. He’d seen his father moving from the shower to his bedroom and thought about the size difference. His father had always told him to be honest and ask him about anything that bothered him.

One night, as the two ate spaghetti, William casually looked up at his father and said. “I saw you go to your room the other day. You didn’t have a towel. Your penis was hard and pretty big.”

His father coughed. “I didn’t realize you were there.”

“Well, that doesn’t really matter. The point is, was your penis always that big, or did it grow as you grew up?”

“It grew,” said Joseph. “Your penis will get bigger as you grow up. It may get bigger than mine, or it may be smaller than mine. We won’t know until you're grown up.”

William nodded his head.

“What else is on your mind?” Joseph wondered what his father would have done had he asked a question like that.

“Well, there is something else that’s been bothering me. My friends keep talking about girls and wondering what it will be like to touch their boobs, and they keep talking about which girl has boobs.”

“And that bothers you?”

“It’s just that none of them talk about their dicks, and I’m interested in their dicks, and…” William sighed. “My friends all like girls, and I don’t.” He looked up at Joseph. His eyes misted. “I mean, I don’t hate girls, but I don’t want to touch their boobs.”

Fuck, thought Joseph. He’s gay and struggling. Why the hell didn’t I notice so I could be there for him. “It’s OK, Will. Some boys grow up to like boys, and some grow up to like girls. Is there a boy you like?”

William nodded his head.

“It’s OK, Willie. It really is. Daddy likes guys better than girls. He wants to find a boyfriend. You’re a step ahead. You’ve found someone that you want to have as a boyfriend.”

“But what if he doesn’t like me.”

“Well, my boy, that’s a problem for everyone. People are always looking for someone who likes them and that they like, too. You are not alone. Don’t ever think you’re alone.”

“You like boys, too?” asked William.

“That’s right.”

“How will I know if Davey likes me? I can’t just ask him, can I? That’d be weird.”

“Are you already friends with him?”

“Sort of. We work on stuff together at school.”

“Invite him over on Saturday to play. We can go shopping tomorrow for some board games or a video game, whatever you think the two of you would like to do. Remember that he may not be able to on this Saturday. Be ready for that, OK? And his parents may want to meet me first. So, you can suggest meeting at the park.”

William nodded. “Thank you, Dad.” He began eating his spaghetti, looked over at his father, and smiled. He was feeling good; he had been worried that his father might hate him when he told him about liking Davey. He found it interesting that his father liked boys, too. He started to wonder what would happen if his father married a boy. He’d be kind of like the boy in middle school who had two mothers. Everyone whispered about it. Would they whisper about him?

That night in his room, he looked at the words of the book he was reading. He was almost finished with “Shiloh,” but his mind was elsewhere. William thought about his father going out on dates. He knew he’d been unhappy for some time; maybe it was because he was lonely. The next morning before leaving for school, he told his father, “I hope you find someone to like. I think you’d have fun going on dates and stuff like that. I can’t wait until I’m old enough to go on dates.”

“That time will come sooner than you think, Willie. You have a good day at school.” Joseph hugged his son, as he had done every time he’d told him good-bye.