The People in Rossford

No one notices the organist

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“I mean without the whole, ‘sure’ thing,” Lee said.

Tom put down the book and looked at Lee sharply.

“Exactly how long do you plan to communicate through shrugs, quickly shut doors, frowns and sleeping as close to the edge of the bed as possible?”

Tom replied by continuing to stare at Lee sharply, and then he crossed his arms over his chest.

Lee said, “Fine.” And then he turned around and walked toward the kitchen adding, “By the way, you look really gay right now.”

After ten seconds of debating rising to the bait, Tom said, “You know what, Lee? I will talk. Since you insist.”

“I don’t so much insist as—”

“You’re not even sorry, are you?” Tom demanded coming to the kitchenette.

“Sorry for what? Because I’m certainly not sorry for having a daughter.”

“Do you not think…? Did it never occur to you, to tell me you had a daughter?”

“Well, it was one of those gay adoption things,” Lee said. “I mean, there is something a little less than permanent and written in stone about a lot of what goes on in a gay marriage. Union,” Lee amended, thoughtfully, while he spread mustard onto a piece of bread. “Partnership… whatever.”

“But adoption isn’t one of those things, Lee!” Tom said.

“I know. Lemonade had… made this baby before he came to me. I didn’t even know she existed. She just showed up one day after we’d been together a couple of years, and he told me how he never could commit to a woman, including her crackhead mother. He figured that was because he ended up being gay. Because he could commit to me, he said, which, since we’d been together three years, I thought was true. And it was. At the time.”

“Anyway,” Tom interjected.

“Don’t be rude,” Lee reprimanded him.

“Anyway,” Lee said when he had put his sandwich together, “she stayed with us a lot, and then she had an affection for me. Hell, I liked her myself, and I thought, I’m not going to actually have physical children, and I don’t really want a baby. In fact, if I had my way that’s how all kids would come, halfway grown. Lemonade was so unstable, and her mother was definitely unstable, and the fact was that legally I was nothing to Danasia. I was the only thing regular in her life, and she had already called me daddy. Now, that shit touched me, and she already thought of me as a father. So I thought, let’s do this shit. And we got everything together, and I adopted her.”

“And then you forgot you adopted her?” Tom said.

“You’re really getting on my nerve, you know that?”

“You could have told me!” Tom said louder.

“Well, I didn’t,” Lee said. There was little apologizing in Lee’s world.

“When I left Lemonade, all three of us sort of went our separate ways. Danasia had always been pretty grown and she was going in search of her mother. So I thought that was the end of her. And so there was no point in bringing her up. I never expected her to show up again.

“And now,” Lee bit into the sandwich and chewed for a bit. His mouth was still full when he spoke. “She’s in trouble.”

For the first time Tom looked not pissed off, like the compassionate Tom Lee liked.

“What kind of trouble?”

“I don’t know,” Lee said. “But she didn’t look for Lemonade or her mother. She came here. With very little. So I know it must be the grown up kind. Something only a father can fix.”

Lee moved out of the kitchen with his bottle of water and his sandwich followed by Tom who had the Doritos.

They sat down on the couch together and Tom munched loudly.

“Lee, I wanna help,” he said.

Lee nodded, and reached into the bag of chips.

“I… I don’t care what’s legal or what’s not,” Tom said. “You and Lemonade had a child together. That… Danasia is the sign that what you had was a marriage. Even though I’ve met Lemonade and I have no idea what a marriage like that could have been like.”

“It was just like what you’d think it was,” Lee said. “Strange.”

“And… Me and Fenn. Ten years. That was real. I mean, sometimes I wish I could get married just so I could say I was divorced.”

Lee chuckled.

“It’s something about saying you’re divorced… that makes it real. That says this was something. It was something so real you have to go to court and have papers signed. With me and Fenn it’s the theatre that says we were real. I was partnered. The theatre and the house I signed over to him.”

“He got you good on that one,” Lee noted.

Tom nodded. “Yes… He did.”

“Tom, can I ask you a question?”

Tom responded by leaning on Lee, putting his head of thick hair on Lee’s shoulder.

“Is the reason you want a baby to prove that we’re… real? A sign that we are an us?”

“Partly,” Tom said, after a while. “And to prove that I’m a me. My kid says I was in the world. I did something. I’m leaving something behind.”

Lee nodded.

“All right,” he said. “Then I’m serious now. I wasn’t serious before, but if you want a baby we will do everything to see that we get one.”

“You serious?” Tom sat up.

“Yes.”

“Lee, a baby is work. A child is work.”

“I know that. I’ve done it. Not the baby part, but I know what comes after.”

“I mean…” Tom said, “it means you’re here for the long haul.”

“I am here for the long haul,” Lee said. Then he added, “Idiot.”

“Don’t call me that,” Tom said, softly, a light in his eye. “There’s nothing holding you to me. There’s nothing to keep you with me. If we have a child, then that child is holding us together. It’s…”

“Making me stay?”

“It means you just can’t run off,” Tom said. “And when you agree to it it means you know what, and you don’t want to run off.”

“Thomas,” Lee said, his voice a little stern. “We need to talk.”

He put down the sandwich and said, “A child is a child. It’s not a symbol of anything else. No baby, no anything could hold me to you. You hold me to you. All right?”

When Tom didn’t speak, Lee repeated: “All right?”

Tom nodded. “All right, Lee.”

“I don’t bail. You’re my husband, my wife, my brother. My partner, my spouse. Whatever. You’re all of it, and you’re mine, and we’re together,” Lee patted him on the cheek and went back to eating his sandwich, “No matter how much you get the fuck on my nerve.”

“Okay, Chad, you’re really making a lot of progress,” Brian told him.

“Thanks,” Chad said. “Is that all for this week?”

“Did you want more? I mean, you’re ready for your solo?”

“I did want to go over that last piece one more time. I mean, if you have the time.”

Going back to the piano, Brian said, “Of course I have the time.”

“It’s just,..” Chadbegan.

Just what?” Brian said. Chadwas aware for the first time in his life of being coy, of the fact that he was deliberately letting a sentence hang. He wondered if he was always false? Probably.

“You seemed like you were in a hurry,” Chad said.

“There’s a funeral at Saint Barbara’s,” Brian said. “I am playing organ.”

“Ohhh,” Actually, Chad sounded to himself as if he had said, “Awww,” and again he felt like an outrageous phony.

“I wasn’t as close to the man as I should have been, but I do know the family, and it is a sad time.”

“I think I know who he is,” Chad said. “I think some friends I have are going.”

“Julian and Claire?”

Chad nodded.

“Yeah,” said Brian. “It’s Bob Affren.”

Brian began playing. “Take it from the top.”

To Chad, Brian was perfect. As far as he knew, Brian was single. The fact was Chad had no problem with this song. What he believed was that if he stood in Brian’s presence long enough, then he would be seen, then the man with the slight five o’clock shadow, the dark hair and the long legs, the long fingers and the brightness in his dark eyes, who loved music as much as he did would look up and see him and… And what? Would he want to date Brian? Could he see himself as Professor Babcock’s significant other? Well, not really? What could he see? What did he want?

“That was brilliant, Chad,” Brian said.

He had called him Chad, and looked at him with those eyes. For just a moment he had the feeling that those eyes were conspiratorial. Could they possibly know? No? Yes.”

“You’re going to do great at your recital.”

Brian rose up, reaching for his coat. “I need to go to the church. You need a ride anywhere?”

Brian was putting on his overcoat and looking down at him with that eager look in his handsome face, and even though Chad had absolutely no place to go, and no idea how he would get back except for walking, he said, “I was on my way to the Walgreens.”

“All right,” Brian said. “Com’on.”

Brendan opened the door and clapped his hands together, stopping himself from spinning around.

“You’re here!” he said.

“Of course I’m here,” Carol walked into the house. “Mom and Dad wouldn’t let anyone of us miss an Affren funeral. God, I can’t believe he’s gone.”

“And look at you,” she said, putting a hand on her brother’s shoulder.

“What?” said Brendan

Carol shook her head.

“Baby brother, all grown up and handsome. People should die more often. You’re a little hottie in a black suit!”

“Stop,” Brendan ducked his head, and his sister said, “Now you just look silly. Mom!” she shouted down the hall.
“Oh, Carol! I’m glad you’re hear.”

“Hey sweet,” their stepfather came down the hall, straightening his tie.

“Hi Daddy.”

“Are you staying the night?”

“I’m staying period,” Carol said. “Thanksgiving is a few days off.”

“Don’t you have classes next week?” her mother said.

“I told my professors I could make up most of the work and hand it in after break. I didn’t see the point in making two trips back home.” Carol shrugged. “And they said okay.”

“You can do that?” Brendan marveled.

“Your sister can do that,” his father shook his head.

Well, everyone ready?” Carol said.

“I just need my handbag,” Liane Miller said.

“Whose car are we taking?” Brendan said.

“Bren wants to drive,” Mr. Miller told Carol.

“Well, okay, little brother, how’bout you be my chauffeur?”

Brendan grinned and pulled his car coat off of the coat rack.

“Cool,” said Carol. “Everybody ready, now?”

“Here I am.” Liane said, coming from the back bedroom.

Carol nodded and ushered her brother out the door where the lawn was dusted

with snow.

“Then let’s get this party started!”

“THANKS,” CHAD SAID.

“Thanks?” Brian looked at him. “Go get what you need, and I’ll be here waiting.”

“I thought you were in a hurry.”

“Not that much of a hurry,” Brian said. “Besides, Bob Affren’s not going anywhere.”

Chad snorted at this, and Brian said, “I know. I’m bad.”

Chad said, “I’ll be right back,” opened the door and ran into the Walgreens.

He had to get something now. It needed to be cheap. He had his debit card. It could just be a candy bar. It had to be something important, a little sizable. And he couldn’t take too long because Brian Babcock was out there waiting for him and had someplace to be. Chad settled on two bottles of lotion and a small bag of Doritos then went quickly through the line.

He came back and Brian said, needlessly, “Ya ready?”

“Ready,” Chad strapped himself in, and then Brian turned out of the parking lot and they headed back to campus.

“You’re in King Hall, right?” Brian said as they came into campus.

“I didn’t know you knew that.”

“Surprise,” Brian sang. “I’ll pull around to the back lot. Is that good?”

“Bri—Professor, uh…?”

“When have you ever called me professor?”

“It’s just…” Chad said while they pulled up to the back of his dorm, “I mean, I should. And all I wanted to say was…You didn’t have to take me to the store like that. You’re late,” Chad said. “I should go.”

“Chad?” Brian said softly as Chad pushed the car door open.

“Yes?”

“What’s wrong? There’s something going on with you. I can tell. Maybe I can help?”

Chad looked uneasy and then, suddenly, he lunged forward and kissed Brian on the mouth.

“Chad!”

“I’m sorry,” Chad said. “I have to go.”

Chad leapt out the car. Brian called out his name again, but that was all he could do without making a scene.

And then the boy was gone, and there was no way Brian could go after him without embarrassing himself. So he sat in the parking lot letting the car stall until he swore, and remembered he was going to be late for Bob Affren’s funeral.