Kane

I strode down the corridor from the swimming pool and saw him just closing up the dishwasher. I didn't even register if the table had been cleared and wiped down or anything else but just grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bedroom. If l was going to tell him, it had to be now before the courage in me dried up.

I pushed him down onto the bed and lay down next to him. He grinned.

'Blimey! Mr Insatiable! You up for another sesh already? Popped a Viagra or what?'

'No! You said you wanted to know why I didn't let things become physical ... '

'Yes, why you kept me at arm's length until now? How you managed to resist this gorgeous body?'

I could have slapped him! I could see he was trying to use humour to cover the tension and try and make it easier for me but it was making it worse. For me at least. A voice in my head told me to ignore him and so l just ploughed straight on.

'Well, I want to start at the end ... '

He laughed and waggled his cock at me:

'This end?'

'Kane, please.'

He looked at me and made a sad face. But he released his already chubbing up dick.

'You're not making no sense ... you taken a different tablet? Drugs? Had a 'smoke'?'

'No.'

I made a sudden grab at his balls and squeezed them, not to hurt but just enough for it to be uncomfortable.

'Ow, ow, ok, I jus' gonna keep quiet now, ok!'

'The end ... is that I love you. Don't lose sight of that as you listen. Listen.'

He leaned forward and kissed me.

'Snap. 'Coz I love you too.'

And with that, he snuggled up against me and pulled my arms around him.

'I just knew that it would have felt wrong before ... l didn't know why my body was saying 'yes ... but not yet' and it's only recently that it's come to feel right!'

'Yes, well it's felt right three times for me tonight! .... So far!'

'Shut UP, Kane! You said you'd listen!'

'Ok, ok, keep your jock strap on!'

'It's like even when we were in London, my body knew l could love you, but my head needed time to catch up and ditch the feelings of guilt about Michael. That was part of it.'

'Bound to be.'

'It was the same thing back when I met Michael. He came on strong at the beginning and l consciously resisted him too ... at first! If we'd shagged too early on, my head knew it risked just being a quick fling that didn't mean much and that I could lose him as a result. A nice fuck on a business trip and a month later, you can't even remember his name. Do you get what I mean?'

'Kinda. But remember a 'business trip' in my line of work means the Underground toilets instead of the park!'

I sighed, concerned l was not getting though to him, not explaining myself anything like as well as l needed to.

'But with meeting you, it was like my body remembered not to go too quickly for fear of ballsing it up but my head just followed along behind ... not aware of why .... as if it'd forgotten the fear of losing what you know inside you want more than anything else. And I do want you. More than anything!'

He was very silent now. I looked down at his beautiful face. His dark eyes were boring into me as his head took in my words and weighed them up. I asked myself if l was losing him, if this was one of those occasions where honesty wasn't such a good idea? Was the wrong policy?

'I think my body held back because it couldn't take the risk of me feeling l was just another quick £50 punter. That would have killed it for us! It knew it had to feel different, not seem as if you were using your best moves on me like you would with any other client. That's why I needed to wait and why our first time had to be me fucking you, me being the one worrying about bringing you pleasure for once. Not the other way round.'

He sat up and stared at me, shaking his head.

'I'm not sure I can be that passive all the time, Ben. I mean don't get me wrong, l loved tonight. But l really want to make love to you too, make you feel as special as you've made me feel tonight.'

I kissed him.

'That's not what I'm saying, Kane. I don't want you passive all the time. I want you to make love to me. But if something is quick, cheap, you don't look after it! Nobody does. You know it's easily replaced, so you don't take care of it! I didn't want to be easy to replace so l had to make this relationship expensive, to see if you saw it as valuable too or whether it was just something to be tossed aside ...'

He laughed:

' ... after I'd tossed you off, you mean! Yeah l get it!'

Silence now. Joke over. I could see his mind whirring away, processing what his response was going to be.

Then all of a rush, he pushed me over onto my back and climbed on top of me, his bare arse squarely over my flaccid, shrunken cock. He bent down, elbows tucked in against my ribs so his chest could rest on mine. Faces inches apart. Those eyes boring into me again. l could feel his breath on my face when he spoke in a low, calm voice:

'Now, my turn to speak, yours to listen. Apart from Nan and Pops, you are the only person ever to care a jot about me. You, Ben Guilleaume, have no fucking clue how valuable your love is to a someone who has been tossed aside as being cheap, worthless. NO FUCKING IDEA.'

His eyes filled and l thought there were tears on their way. But instead he grabbed my wrists and pushed my arms above my head, exposing my armpits. Now, I have never considered my pits as sexy or erogenous but he made them so with slow licks and by nuzzling his nose into them. I could feel my prick waking up. He released his hold on my wrists, slid down my body and kissed and licked and sucked at my tits. I was tired but I wasn't. Wanted to sleep but at the same time l didn't want to. He slipped further down and when his tongue began worshipping my belly button it conjured up wicked anticipation of what might be to come! I could feel my dick hard against his chest, actually hurting because of the angle of my erection. Still further south he went, kissing my abdomen and groin, finally releasing my cock to spring up against his face and allow him to suck me off. One minute it was his tongue stimulating me, the next his cheek or nose and then back to his tongue once more.

Then abruptly, he sat up, turned and rummaged in my drawer. Taking out the lube, he squirted it onto his hands and I found both my cock being wanked by his right hand and my ring being teased and circled and finally penetrated by the forefinger of his left. The sensations became exquisite.

'Oh my god, stop now and I will break your other leg personally!'

He grinned and changed from a feather-light touch to a vice like grip on my cock and back again. Forefinger moved in circles inside me and was joined by another. His stroking of my cock combined with his massaging of my prostate was too much and for the third time that evening, l came, covering my pubes in my own juice. It was then that he entered me! I felt his dick slide in slowly, stretching me open to accommodate his manhood. The room started to spin as the massage recommenced and soon, the only thing that mattered was his pistoning in and out of my depths. I couldn't honestly tell you how many times one or another of his legs changed position or if l dribbled more cum or not but eventually l was dimly aware of him grunting as his thrusting ceased. He fell to my side and, sticky and sweaty, we held on to each other as the sleep of the exhausted claimed us.

I woke up the following morning to find him gone. Panic set in and l was up and in the kitchen in nano-seconds to find him wearing nothing apart from his mother's gold chain and camly preparing breakfast.

He picked up a pack of sausages in one hand and a pack of buns in the other, held both up and said:

'You can either have these buns and these sausages ... '

He turned around and jiggled his bare buttocks at me.

' ... or these buns .... '

' ... or this sausage!'

This last option was accompanied by his gyrating his hips so his todger flapped from side to side in the most unerotic manner possible.

And that's been what living with Kane has been like ever since. Full of filthy innuendo. Laughter. Love. Occasional references to our pasts but what happened, happened. He is happy to view his childhood as a previous chapter that he seems able to consign to his past and not fuck up his present or future. I pray that remains the case for him always. He has his licence now and we've travelled to New York and he's been to the house in France. We had flights to Tokyo booked for May this year but Covid put paid to that! I've told him he can sleep with anyone he wants ... I'm quite aware this will need to happen as l age, however disgracefully  l might try to. Just so long as he doesn't stop loving me!

So, the next time you're in an airport, if you see an impossibly handsome younger black man travelling with a much older white guy, you'll know why l look to be the happiest man alive.