Old Friends, and a Reckoning
After my strange evening with Ilya, I felt as if my hand was glowing where he had kissed it. And the questions about what it might mean – if anything – went around and around in my head like a little flock of crazy birds. But I didn't really see him for days after that, other than the usual fleeting conversations in the morning or late at night when he dragged himself in from the hospital. But for days I could feel his lips on my hand as if it had just happened.
What I did do was start to research possibilities at UBC and talked to some some people in the social work department. I guess I had to look ahead at my life and not just fuck every guy I saw, which is how it felt. Now that spring finally coming and the weather was warmer, if not dryer, then I felt a renewed sense of possibility that I hadn't felt since I left K. The memory of Susan was not as painful and complicated and that was a relief. And social work seemed increasingly the direction I wanted to go. Work with people, help people make sense of their lives, advocate for people. Even though mine had been privileged compared to many, I still had a journey to get from there to here and I realized I wanted to go along the ride with people and make it easier.
Then I got a text from Mark saying that now that the school year was over, he and Trevor were going to come to Vancouver and visit. That was exciting. I hadn't seen Mark for months and while I had made some friends and had Troy – however I might define who he was to me – it was a nice prospect to hang out with the two of them.
The weather turned out to be awesome when they got into town the first Saturday in June. I asked Troy to join us he said he would come after work, so the three of us had lunch, then we went to Wreck Beach and sat in the sun – which I was discovering was not a common sight in Vancouver – and talked. It was really nice and mellow. I was so happy to see them, especially Mark and I was excited to introduce Troy to them.
Mark asked about my social life and even though I had told him the basics before, I could tell he wanted details. I started with Troy. “Yeah, so, Troy. He's joining us in an hour or so. He's the sweetest. We're sort of in something. I don't know if you'd call it a relationship, but...”
Mark laughed and said, “Yeah, and you told me he likes cum a lot.”
I grinned and said, “We both do. It's way fun.”
Trevor snorted and said, “It's good to have common interests.”
But Mark looked at me a moment, and I could tell he was thinking about Ilya, who I had also told him about. “So Ilya?”
I cringed. “Yeah, Ilya. What can I say? I've got it bad for him. And he is gay, I recently found out. But he's recovering from this awful relationship. Like, abusive. So I feel like I have to leave him alone. But we talk, he's told me a bit about it. Have I mentioned he's the most gorgeous guy I've ever seen?
Mark laughed and said, “Yeah, you might have. But he seems to like you, as a friend, I mean.”
“He does. And that's cool. And Troy keeps me occupied. And I've arranged for you guys to have dinner with Ilya and I tonight.”
Trevor looked interested. “I can't wait to see this supermodel.”
I swatted his shoulder and said, “Hands off. He's not available, even to me. So you two be nice to him. He works his ass off and doesn't need any shit from you two.” I realized I was getting all worked up in defence of Ilya, but I guess that makes sense, right?
I lay back on my towel and let the sun do its work, warming me, relaxing me and, as I expected, getting me a little turned on. I turned and looked at Trevor beside me, remembering him fucking me. His blonde hair was all messed up and hanging in his eyes. It felt like a hundred years ago that I had taken his cock. I turned and looked at Mark on my other side and remembered all the times we had fucked and traded cum. He had cut his dark hair short and his face looked all sculpted. It was strange, but I felt like I couldn't remember what it was like to have sex with him. I wondered if anything would happen while they were here. I turned onto my stomach so my dick wasn't too obvious. It's hard to hide a crotch full of wood in a small bathing suit. I sighed and dozed for a while, letting the sun take me away.
I was half asleep when Troy found us on the beach. He was in this little black bathing suit that showed off his lithe but muscular legs, his slim stomach and chest, all taut and smooth. His hair was blowing in the wind. I jumped up and hugged him, pulling his crotch into mine. I said into his ear, “Troy, you are so sexy...”
He laughed into my ear and said, “Settle down, Steve. We're in public.” He turned to the other two and said, “You must be Mark and Trevor.”
Trevor got up and said, “Nice to meet you, Troy. We've heard all about you.” They shook hands and Trevor turned and said, “This is Mark.”
Mark got up, grinning and shook Troy's hand and then hugged him. “Steve speaks very highly of you.”
I wanted to slap them both for being so flirty. But it was fun. Troy sat down and the four of us talked about Vancouver and university and life. It was relaxed and friendly. We lay there for an hour or so, then I sat up, the sun still lulling me into a state. I had to pull my legs up so the bulge in my bathing suit wasn't so obvious.
I was looking at Trevor who was beside me looking amazing, his bathing suit full of cock. He opened his eyes and looked at me with a little grin. I could tell Trevor was up to something when he said, “Hey boys, we need to go to our hotel room and pick something up. Why don't you come with us? Then we can go get a drink.”
He was all innocence and Troy didn't quite get it, but it was obvious to me. And I thought, yeah, ok, fine. “Sure Trevor. Let's do that.”
We put on our shirts and shorts, then walked to the street where Troy got us an Uber and we made our way to their hotel. In the elevator, Troy was looking at me and I could tell he was figuring it out. He had a little smile on his face. We got in their hotel room and Troy, who is a smart guy, had a big smile. He pushed his shoulder length hair off his face, he stepped a little closer to Trevor and said, “So I guess I'm the something you want to pick up?”
Trevor looked at me as if to ask permission. Mark was already lying on the bed, clearly used to Trevor being a brat. I decided to join him on the bed and we watched as Trevor pulled Troy to him and they started to kiss. Mark looked at me and shrugged, so I turned over and kissed him which, although it was nice and familiar, made me remember how much the two of us had a nice chemistry between us. And I had forgotten what a good kisser he was. I ran my hand through his brown hair that had a surprising texture now that it was all short. His eyes were bright and dark at the same time. I jammed my tongue in his mouth and he groaned.
Trevor pulled Troy onto the bed and Troy got on top of him, still kissing, but also fumbling with Trevor's shorts. Mark and I moved over to Trevor, and the three of us had a nice three-way kiss. Troy got Trevor's shorts off and as he was an expert at doing, feasted on Trevor's long cock. I watched him engulf the whole thing and massage Trevor's balls. Mark sat up and shucked his clothes, then he pushed his dick into Trevor's mouth who slurped it, making Mark groan.
I slid my shorts off and got up on the other side of Mark and since this was clearly a game of what can we do with Trevor, I tried to slip my cock in beside Mark's. He and I looked at each other, then went back to kissing. I was feeling a bunch of things, but mostly out-and-out lust. I leaned down and sucked on Mark's nipples, then nibbled on them. Pulling my cock out of Trevor's mouth, I licked my way around to Mark's back, then got down and ran my tongue up the crack of his ass, tasting a little sweat.
I glanced around at Troy who was using his expert cock sucking skills on Trevor, massaging in all the right ways, and probably starting to keep him on the edge, because Trevor was making some noise with his mouthful of Mark's dick, as Mark pushed deep in Trevor's face. I got up again and tried to slip my cock in Trevor's mouth with Mark's. He took both in his hands and ran his tongue all over the heads, digging his tongue into the clefts, sucking up the juices.
Mark was watching Troy work and then he pulled his cock out of Trevor's mouth and moved over and said, “Let me get in there.”
Troy moved and Mark got in between Trevor's legs and prepared to fuck him, so Troy moved over and continued his work on Trevor from the side. Troy's long hair was hanging in his face and his smooth body and plump ass were really inviting, so I decided to do the same. I got behind Troy and started to run my fingers along the crack of his ass, enjoying the smoothness, the soft place in between his cheeks. I leaned down and licked from the bottom to the top, paying extra attention to his hole, running my tongue around it, swirling spit into it, spreading his cheeks wide, so I could start to get my face in there deep.
Mark had started to push into Trevor and they were looking at each other really intensely. Those two. So in love. It was nice to see and it made me think of Ilya and my fantasy of what could happen and that felt really good. I was almost embarrassed that I was in the middle of this four-way. Would Ilya judge me? But I decided I didn't care. I sat up and took Troy's slim hips in my hands and slowly, but forcefully push my cock into him. He made some sounds while he worked on Trevor's cock, muffled moaning and gasping, but when I was all the way in, he calmed down.
I looked at Mark and we both started to fuck in tandem. He leaned over and kissed me, saying, “Fuck, Steve...I've missed this.”
I'd missed it, too. Mark and I had a nice thing together. I kissed him back and played with his nipples. In fact I suddenly wanted him to fuck me, so I pulled out of Troy and said, “Mark, I want...”
Mark said, “Yeah, me too.”
He pulled out of Trevor and said, “Sorry Trevor, I've got to fuck Steve. It's been too long.”
Trevor laughed and said, “I'm going to enjoy watching....” Then he groaned as Troy brought him to the edge again. “Fuck, Troy. How do you do that?”
Troy raised his head, Trevor's big tool flopping out all wet and hard, and said, “Trevor...you have the best cock. I could suck it all day.”
Mark pushed me backward and ran the head of dick all over my hole, then pushed really deep and the stretching as my body enveloped him felt comfortable and familiar. He looked down at me, grinning and started to thrust. My legs were wrapped around his back which felt really comfortable and he started to fuck really easily and smoothly and I just opened to him, I just let myself go. We kissed and traded spit and I remembered the first time he fucked me way back on our parents' sofa. Back in the home we spent our teenage years in. It was a nice memory.
I pulled him forward, my legs still around his back, and we kissed more deeply even though my back was aching I didn't really care. This was just us and I was happy.
But Mark must have been really excited, because he reached the finish line fast, and had to lean back and fuck me harder while he filled me with cum. Trevor was making all kinds of noise behind us and then he pushed Troy off him and got up and fed me his cock, pumping hard and his dick just started to pour cum in my mouth. It ran down onto my chin and pooled in the back of my throat. That whole edging business of Troy's is magic.
Troy surprised me by getting behind Trevor and sliding his dick into him, fucking fast, as Trevor pushed his cock all the way into my throat, giving me the last of his cum. He pulled out and let Troy go, his face all sweaty and his hair a mess.
My cock was aching and all I had to do was take it in my hand and I burst, shooting a huge rope all over my chest, then another. I felt like my body was on fire and I almost yelled. Just as I came down, Troy started to swear – which is not like him – and he stopped moving as his orgasm took him, finishing with a few lazy thrusts into Trevor. He stopped moving and sat back on his heels, breathing hard.
Trevor moved over and wrapped his arms around Mark and they were a couple again, all cuddly and warm with each other. I moved over to Troy and pulled him in for a hug, our bodies a little sweaty. He smelled all hot and complicated.
Eventually we all dozed for a while, and when I woke up, Trevor and Mark were lying asleep with Troy in between them. I was surprised at how quickly we all got really intimate. I got off the bed and stretched, still tasting Trevor's cum in my mouth. I decided to make an exit, so I found my clothes and quietly dressed and slipped out of the room.
When I got home, I had a shower and a little nap, then dressed for dinner and made my way downtown again to this restaurant in a swanky neighbourhood a few blocks from all the glass condo buildings. It was a pan-European place that Mathilde, who owned my restaurant, told me about that I think she was jealous of, it was so good. Ilya, who had come directly from the hospital, was at a table on the beautiful patio at the back that was surrounded by trees and had big pots of flowers. It smelled heavenly, like we were in the forest. But it was Ilya that I only had eyes for. He was in this dark green shirt that brought out the intensity of his otherworldly eyes. He stood up and shook everyone's hands, and gave me the sweetest hug, and I sat down beside him, across from Mart and Trevor, feeling excited.
We ordered some wine and Trevor, who was sitting across from me, kicked me gently with his foot and surreptitiously indicated Ilya by raising his eyebrows in his direction. I knew what he meant. Ilya was radiant, fucking perfect. I know I keep going on about it, but it was good to have Trevor corroborate it, since I wondered sometimes if I was just making it up.
The conversation was easy and Ilya seemed to fit right in, able to keep up with Trevor's humour and asked lots of good questions about things. Mark was very interested to hear about medical school and Ilya gave him some pointers about choosing the right school.
When we finished dinner and a second bottle of wine, we wafted out of the restaurant and into a warm June evening that wasn't, for once, wet. Ilya and I walked Mark and Trevor to their hotel and everyone hugged. Since the boys were in Vancouver for a few days, we all promised to get together again, although Ilya said he wasn't sure given his schedule.
I suddenly realized I was going home with Ilya, slightly drunk and very turned on by everything: the food, the weather, my friends, and especially him. Damn. He looked so easy and relaxed and all I wanted to do was hold hands with him and walk through the warm evening. But Ilya said, “Let's take a cab. North Vancouver seems really far all of a sudden.”
We arrived at our building and when we got in the apartment, Ilya went into the freezer and pulled out a bottle I had never noticed before, that I took to be vodka. It was Russian vodka and a brand I had never seen, so I assumed he had got it from a family member, or he had been there himself. To me it meant trouble. Good trouble.
We went and sat on our tiny balcony. There was just enough room for two chairs and a little table. Ilya put the bottle down with two little glasses and a bar of chocolate. I said, “What's the chocolate for?”
Ilya, looking serious, said, “It goes really well with Russian vodka.”
I decided to take his word for it. He poured us two little glasses and said, “Za zdorov'e!” before he tossed the vodka back. I did the same, the burn taking me by surprise.
I gasped and said, “And that means...?”
Ilya poured us two more and said, “Your health. Appropriate coming from me.”
I grinned at him and we shot our vodka together, and his eyes flashed in a way I hadn't seen, as if some passionate Russian dude just showed up for a visit. At this point I was feeling really nice and it was all I could do to keep from leaning over and kissing him. Oh my fucking god. I was hurting for him.
I sat back in my chair and had a piece of chocolate. He was right, of course. The combination made my mouth tingle. I looked out over the trees that seemed to be everywhere in this neighbourhood. But it wasn't enough to distract me. I had to do something. I had to either go to bed, or...I don't know what. So I finally said, swallowing my fear and pride and a whole bunch of other things, “Ilya...do you have any idea how much of a crush I have on you?”
I closed my mouth and just looked at him. I knew that by saying this I was risking everything. That I would have to move out if it didn't go well, or at least make it really awkward between us for a long time. But a part of me just couldn't hold it in any longer.
I turned away, afraid of what would happen next. Then I turned and looked at him again. He was just sitting there with this almost blank expression on his face. Almost. There was the tiniest curve of a smile on his mouth. That seemed ever so slightly hopeful.
He finally picked up my glass and filled it again, then his, and handed it to me. The silence was killing me, but I knew him well enough to know that I just had to shut up. He toasted us again, and downed his vodka, slamming the little glass on the table. I did the same.
He finally said, his voice intense, his eyes boring into mine, “Seriously?”
The tone of his voice was almost aggressive and it made me want to shut up and go to bed, but I summoned up some more courage and said, “Yes, seriously.” The vodka helped.
Ilya sighed and looked up at the stars for a second. In a softer voice he said, “I'm a little bit shocked. In a good way, I mean. I never imagined you...” And he trailed off, a look of wonder on his face.
We just looked at each other for a moment. His eyes seemed really deep and complex in that moment. I decided to press on. I said, “Ilya, I need to know because it's killing me. I feel so much for you...fuck! What about you?” I felt ridiculous.
Finally his face softened even more and it also looked like relief. He said, “Yes. I do.” He reached for my hand, then said, “I really do and I've felt it for a long time and I had no idea you felt the same...” He stopped and shook his head, then said, “But I need to write these exams, I need to finish my rotation, I need to figure out what I'm going to do after that before we can do any further...” He stopped and looked down at our clasped hands, then back up. His eyes seemed to be glowing. “But Stephen, I'm kind of amazed and happy and I really want this...I've been wanting you...”
And then he did the thing that helped me believe him, the thing that I had thought about him doing ever since I moved in, the thing that says so much without anyone having to say a word. He leaned forward and gave me the nicest kiss. I mean, really nice. Soft and open and warm. No tongue, but deep, and it lasted for long enough for me to really believe it, and believe what was behind it, or maybe it's better to say, after it.
We just looked at each other for a moment, our faces close. He had this half-smile that was adorable.. His breath was warm on my skin and his eyes were kind of glowing in the half light from inside the apartment. He reached out and ran his hand through my hair. Ilya had this way of doing everything that felt so meaningful, so significant.
Just to settle the crazy buzzing in my head, I said, “Really?”
His smile got bigger and he kissed me again, just the same way. Holy fuck. Then he said, “Really.”
He got up, collected the little glasses and the bottle of vodka and said, “I can't quite believe this, Stephen. I never thought you felt this way. And I'm so glad, I'm really glad. And I want to do more...I mean, I want to sit out here all night with you, but I have to sleep. I have a crazy day tomorrow. So good night, Stephen. But remember, there's going to be more.” He shook his head as if he couldn't quite take in what had just happened and went inside. I could barely believe it myself.
And calling me Stephen? No one calls me Stephen. My dad sometimes calls me Stephen. Mark doesn't call me Stephen, never has. But Ilya calling me Stephen? That felt like he had just taken all my clothes off and kissed my whole body. It felt like the most intimate thing anyone has ever said to me. Like he discovered my secret identity and said it out loud.
I sat outside looking up at the stars again and didn't think. Something in me that had been loud and obnoxious finally shut up. I could still taste his lips. I finally got up and went inside and went to my bedroom. The light was still on in his and I took a chance and said, “Good night, Ilya.”
He just said, “Good night.” But it was enough. It was more than enough. It felt like we had sealed some sort of deal, which in a way we had.
My bed, though empty, was just where I needed to be and I slept better than I'd slept in a while.
I woke up feeling rested but at the same time, hyper. I didn't have a shift at the restaurant so I stayed in bed. I knew Ilya was at the hospital and then he was probably going to come home and study, so I had no idea when we would have a proper conversation again.
I texted Troy and asked if I could come over later and then I lay in bed, enjoying the sunlight that came through the window, getting me a little sweaty. But I decided something. I was randy but given what I needed to tell Troy, I knew that it was unlikely we would have sex. I needed to burn off some steam, so I got out of bed and got my bathing suit and made my way to the gym, hoping that a long swim would calm me down.
I swam a few dozen lengths, getting myself tired and working out some of my now-requited love energy and some of my sexual frustration. I decided a sauna was what I needed and because it was before eight in the morning, I hoped I would have it to myself.
I got in their just in my towel and leaned against the wooden walls, letting the heat take me over. But then the door opened and two guys came in and sat down across from me. They were a little older than I was, but clearly people who spent time at the gym: all sculpted and toned. One was dark-haired and reminded me of Sanjay, the other had blonde hair and pale skin. The blonde nodded at me in a friendly sort of way and then closed his eyes. The three of us sat there for a while. I closed my eyes and soon I was almost dozing, just hanging in that space just before sleep. I heard a soft noise and opened my eyes and the two dudes had gotten out of their towels and were sitting there, their legs spread a little. The blonde had his hand around the other guy's dick, stroking.
I was kind of amazed at how unafraid they were. The dark-haired guy gave me a smile. I pulled my towel off and decided to join the fun. The three of us stroked our cocks in the heat, mine quickly getting hard and desperate. Then I decided to throw caution out the proverbial window so I got down on my knees in front of the brown guy and ran my mouth all over his dick. The other dude, taking the initiative, got behind me and licked my hole, then used some fingers and his tongue, stretching me. I pushed my ass in his face and he put more fingers in.
I swallowed the cock of the guy sitting and he put his hand on the back of my head and pushed, using his hips to slowly fuck my face. I felt the cock of his friend start to push, so I pushed back, and it slid in to me nicely, and I felt my ass stretch as I took him. He braced himself on my back and he quickly began to pound me. Like all these unexpected public scenes, everyone knew there wasn't much time. The guy fucking me really got going and he went so hard that he pushed me into his friend so I was almost gagging on his big cock, tasting his flesh and sweat and precum. I felt desperate and I wanted to cum so badly so I pulled myself up, letting both cocks slip out of me, and with a burst of aggression, got up and pushed my cock in the dark-haired guy's mouth. He groaned and sucked me in and I started to jack myself fast until I felt my cock spewing cum in his mouth, my head spinning, my knees shaking.
The blonde wasn't done, because he pulled me back down, pushed his cock in, and fucked me hard. The sauna door opened and I thought we were done for, but a guy came in and the guy who had just taken my load, got down on his knees and got his mouth busy. The guy fucking me reached his peak and with a muffled moan, gave me three more deep thrusts and then pulled out. I sat up, feeling cum oozing down my leg and decided I was done. I left the three of them to do whatever they needed to do and went to the showers, washing away the sweat and the cum and I felt marginally better. Yet somehow it didn't really satisfy me. I wanted more and by more I meant Ilya.
When I got to Troy's, he smiled and kissed me. I knew we were going to have a conversation. We needed to have a conversation. I pushed some of his long hair out of his eyes and kissed him, feeling bad, feeling a lot of affection for him and knowing that I was probably going to hurt him, or at least surprise him. But I wondered if I was underestimating him. I kissed his brow, admiring all that hair that was so elegant and sexy at the same time.
We sat down on the sofa and I gripped his hand. I took a deep breath and said, “So Troy. I need to tell you something.”
He looked at me, a little surprised. “That sounds ominous.”
I winced inside. His eyes were bright and blue and I felt awful. But I had to give him a little credit so pressed on. “So Ilya and I had a conversation last night. I mean I told him something I'd wanted to tell him for a while. That I've had a thing for him – a big crush, I guess – since the day I moved into his place. And he said he'd been feeling something for me as well.”
I knew I could't tell Troy the details. I couldn't tell him that Ilya had kissed me twice and that it had felt like magic. But I said, “So it seems we're in something together. And I want to find out what happens. I think I need to not do what you and I have been doing any more.”
I stopped, feeling like I'd said too much. Troy looked at me. I could tell he was feeling a lot, but maybe not what I expected. He sighed and sat back on the sofa. He looked at me in a way that felt critical. Finally he said, “I knew you had a thing for him. I was cool with it. I am cool with it. I actually never thought it would come to anything, to tell you the truth. I can see that Ilya is a complicated guy. But you say he feels the same way?”
I nodded and said, “He does. But he's busy right now, so we're going to go slow. And Ilya does a have a complicated history so I need to be careful. For myself and for him. He had a really awful marriage a couple of years ago. He's still getting over it.”
Troy looked skeptical. “Are you sure he can have a relationship given that?”
I felt a bit annoyed, like Troy was being protective or self-righteous or both. “I think so. Like I said, we'll have to move slowly. But the point is, Troy, I want to try. That's the point of this conversation. I need to try.”
Then Troy looked upset. His eyes filled and his face got all blotchy. He said, “I know. I get it.”
Then I said the thing I had been thinking when we hung out with Adam. “And you know, Troy. I think you and Adam have unfinished business. He's still got a thing for you, if you haven't noticed.”
Troy grimaced through his tears and said, “I know. You're right. And the stupid part is I still love the guy even though he drives me nuts.”
That felt better. I had been right. I said, “So maybe the fact that you two fight so much is because you both feel so much for each other. When I watched you two fuck, you both seemed so...I don't know...bonded. Like you were both in the right place. It was very sweet to see.”
Troy looked surprised. “You saw that? I didn't think it was obvious, but it does feel that way. We're in it when we fuck and we can't seem to figure out how to translate that into all the other ways of being together.” Troy looked thoughtful as if he had started thinking about something for the first time.
I pulled Troy close and kissed him. I felt so much affection for him. It really was true that if it hadn't been for Ilya I probably would have fallen hard. But that's not what happened.
Troy and I talked for a while, and then I finally got up and told him I had to go. I didn't want to fuck him, or anything. I kissed him and held him for a while. It felt like the ending, but only the part where we might have a relationship. I said, “Call Adam, will you? You've got to try at least.”
He nodded, looking sad. “Thanks, Steve. I hope we can still...”
I cut him off. “I'm not going anywhere, Troy. Whatever happens I'll still be in your life.”
But I had to get out of there for now. It was getting too painful. I left his apartment and walked back to North Vancouver which took ages, but it helped to clear my head. The air was damp again, and it was definitely going to rain. The night was still as if the city was waiting for the rain to start. The air smelled of the ocean and there were seagulls up above that I couldn't see, making their usual racket. The Lion's Gate Bridge hung over the straight and I breathed in the wind that must have come from Asia. Vancouver was a gorgeous city.
I got home to a quiet apartment. It wasn't that late and I made a cheese sandwich, not wanting to cook. I sat on the little balcony where Ilya and I had had our reckoning and when the rain came I let it come. But then it really came, so I went inside. Just as I sat down, Ilya came in looking wet and dishevelled. He didn't say anything, and I watched him fuss with his umbrella and put his stuff down. He went and got a glass of water from the kitchen then came and sat down beside me on the sofa. We didn't say anything, and I felt so much that I couldn't say anyway even if I wanted to.
He finally turned to me with a tired smile. He took my hand, then instead of him kissing me, we both leaned in and kissed each other. The same soft, warm, deep kiss as the last time. It lasted a little longer and he opened his mouth a little more and it felt just as intense. Just as complicated and amazing and more erotic than any kiss I'd had in years. But I knew to keep my hands to myself.
He leaned back with that little Slavic smile. He said, “Nice to see you.”
I almost laughed at the understatement, but I managed to say, “It's very nice to see you. I can't quite believe this.”
It was his turn and he did laugh. “I know what you mean.” He stopped, then stood up and ran his hand over my face very lightly. “But believe it, Stephen.”
He walked into the kitchen, put his glass on the counter, gave me one more look that contained a whole library of thoughts and went to his room. I could tell he was exhausted, so I was almost amazed he managed to even talk to me, much less kiss me. And I felt a wave of good things. I sat there with the feeling of his lips on mine washing over my whole body. Was this really happening? I suddenly worried that it was just a figment of my imagination. And I knew, as Troy suggested, that things might be complicated with this guy, given his history. But I guess I was prepared to find out what would happen. And I guess, to my astonishment, he was too.
