Coming of Age

AJ – “I guess I should have known that Syd would have told you about this place, you were more a sister to her, not an aunt. Why do they have to make things so hard?”

Evelyn and Jonathan made their way back into the O’Reilly’s home where they found Charlene and Elliott standing with two large packages that had been messengered to them – one for the O’Reilly’s and one for the O’Brien’s. There were two envelopes and two identical packages. Elliott handed Evie and JJ their envelope and both couples opened the letters, they were identical except for who they were addressed to –

Mr. Elliot Thomas O’Reilly & Mrs. Charlene Marie O’Reilly

Mr. Jonathan Aaron O’Brien II & Mrs. Evelyn Ava O’Brien

Both couples were caught off by the formality of the opening so they scanned down to the closing and knew things were amiss when they read the signature line –

Mr. Aaron Jonathan O’Brien

Mrs. Sydney Marie O’Brien – deceased

Master Conor Jameson O’Brien

Master Caleb Jeffrey O’Brien

JJ choked out – “I guess this is our fate, we should read the note.”

We had hoped to give these to you on Mother’s Day but those plans were ruined when an impaired federal agent took our beloved wife and mother from us. Our backup plan was to give them to you yesterday morning before the service as a family grieving the loss of our beloved granddaughter, daughter, sister, wife and mother. Those plans were dashed yesterday based on what we hope was meant as the best intentions from loving parents/grandparents but at present, we are struggling to comprehend the actions and behaviors of all involved.

Please open the packages before continuing to read this letter. I know you all want to do this your way but for the love of all that is good and right in this world please do as we ask.

The parents looked at each other and opened the packages. Inside were several framed photos. The largest was a family portrait – AJ, Syd, Con & Cale were all dressed in casual yet dressy attire. There were combinations of the family – all four of them, AJ & Syd; Con & Cale; Syd, Con & Cale; AJ, Con & Cale and then individual shots of each person. The photos were stunning and showed a truly happy family with their future bright and shining in front of them. Back to the note –

I, AJ, apologize for losing my temper yesterday it was not what Syd would have wanted and I will carry that with me forever.

I will try explaining my actions so that you will understand my point of view, not that I am holding out any hope now of reconciliation as I am not apologizing for my reaction, I am apologizing for losing my temper. I truly hope you understand the distinction and will realize that my heart has been broken twice over the last two weeks – losing the love of my life and then losing the two sets of parents that I was relying on to help me get through this utter pit of despair that I find myself sinking into at the present. I am trying to keep my head above water but I feel as though you all keep pushing me under.

I understand your perspectives – you believe you are trying to lighten the load and make things perfect but, in your efforts, you have driven a wedge between us. Now to explain my actions of yesterday – I do hope you really looked at the portraits that you received and now understand my dogged determination that the boys wear the outfits I left for them. They are the same ones they wore in that beautiful family portrait you now have. If you paid attention to the portrait, you would also see that for our final viewing with Syd, she was wearing that same wonderfully sexy, stylish and stunning summer dress and I was wearing the same linen suit yesterday. I attempted to keep that moment alive for as long as humanly possible. The memorial service was for US, not anyone but US, that photo is who WE are, not some stuffy suit & tie family, I had to be true to MY family – Syd, Con, Cale and me.

Your lack of compassion and concern for me and my boys astonished me and to protect my heart and keep my head above water for the most precious gift Syd ever gave me I had to get away from the four of you. I hope and pray that you understand and care how much you hurt me with your actions and lack of support. I know that I am not the easiest person in the world to love but I do know I give more than I ask in return. It has been a blessing and a curse – a blessing because Syd and I had an epic love and she filled my heart with such joy because she understood I would die to protect our love and family. A curse because some take for granted that it will always be there and I will acquiesce to their wants and needs and I typically do but yesterday was a point where I had to put my family and its future ahead of 4 people, I love with all my heart.

By now one of two things have happened – my phone call with mama and pops went well and we are together or it went wrong and we are still separated. I pray it’s the former but my broken heart tells me it is the latter. I do hope and pray with everything I have in me that I am wrong as I truly am not certain how much more I can take but I WILL continue on – my reason for living is now and forevermore, Conor and Caleb O’Reilly.

Best Regards,

Mr. Aaron Jonathan O’Reilly

Mrs. Sydney Marie O’Brien – deceased

Master Conor Jameson O’Reilly

Master Caleb Jeffrey O’Reilly

As the ‘rents were reading the letters, Gran and Nanny had arrived – they had received similar packages with letters inviting them to a barbeque at AJ’s home. He would have a car service pick them up at 3 PM that afternoon. He had not given them the address and it was made clear the driver would watch for cars following them and if that were to occur, they would be taken back to Gran’s home.

Gran spoke first – “Elliot my dear boy, I have just one question for you – If you were to be able to go back to yesterday morning with a fresh set of eyes would you support your son?”

Elliot – “How was I supposed to know what was behind those outfits?”

Nanny saw red and raised her voice – “You all should not have to know what the reason for something is to support your family and their decisions. When has AJ done ANYTHING to harm anyone? NEVER. You all should know by now he has a good head on his shoulders, is passionate, kind, caring and has the biggest heart in the world. Right now, that big heart is in despair and you all crushed it even more by not supporting him.”

Gran finished – “I was so hoping he would be here with the boys but I’m guessing his call with you two did not go well as he is not here. I wish I could see the future as I would have done much more to prevent you from doing what you all did yesterday. AJ deserved your unconditional love and support and got what he usually does – conditional love and support on your terms. Hopefully, time will heal these wounds and you all need to proceed on his timeline, not yours. If not, you will lose them forever. Lindal, we need to head back to my house and get ready for a barbecue.”

Evelyn – “When you see AJ, please make sure he is ok and make sure he knows you both love him and are in his corner.”

Charlene jumped in – “Tell him that we love him and are sorry.”

Evelyn shook her head – “Do not do that. Aoife is right we need to let him come to us in his own time. We are on the outside looking in with no right to say or do anything and we certainly can’t ask him for anything. We were wrong and if we want him back, we must bide our time and love him enough to lose him if that is what will make him .

JJ hugged his wife and agreed with her – “Mom please take care of him. We got lost in our grief and need to control things; we lost sight of the man AJ has become. Now we must let him heal however he needs to and that is without the four of us. I know he has the biggest heart of ANYONE I know and I must trust that he will open it up to us again and we have to be better.”

Back at AJ’s home.

Eva sat next to AJ and they talked for an hour about everything that was going on, how AJ was holding up, what was next and what support he needed from Eva and the girls. It was clear to Eva that the phone call with his mom and dad was a huge blow for him. He wanted this behind him so he could focus on healing as AJ put family above all else and his family was not whole. Eva asked if she needed to do anything to help with the barbecue later that day and AJ assured her, he had it all under control. This was supposed to be a family gathering where they (Elliot, Charlene, Pops, Mama, Conor, Caleb and he) would go out on the water and spread half of Syd’s ashes but that was not going to happen now it would just be a partial family get together.

AJ had sent packages to all his siblings and Eva that were similar to Nanny and Grans. There was transportation arranged for each family to and from his home so no one had to drive and they could get a little wasted if they felt like it. AJ’s phone pinged letting him know that the caterer was there to get going on the setup. He and Eva got up and headed to the driveway alongside the main house to open that gate allowing access to the backyard patio for set up.

As they were walking toward the gate Eva held AJ’s waist tightly to her – she wanted to make sure he knew he was not alone and could rely on her for love and support. No words were spoken but AJ did put his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her to his body a non-verbal thank you for the unconditional love and support.

After they let the caterers in and showed them where to set up, they went and sat on two lounge chairs near the pool house. AJ texted Julia and Trav, checking on the boys and asking if they could give him another 30 minutes. They both quickly responded – ABSOLUTELY if you will do us one favor. They asked if they could have their wedding here on the lawn instead of at his parents’ home and he readily agreed.

AJ took a deep breath and asked Eva – “What is your mom up to? . I got a letter from her attorney requesting my presence at a trustee meeting on Wednesday.”

Eva laughed uncontrollably for what seemed like 5 minutes. AJ was annoyed – “What the fuck is so funny?”

Eva finally was able to control herself – “Well mom and dad set up a trust that supports the medical community through fundraisers, donations & the trust vast amount of money. It is a non-profit and provides funds around the world. Mom is the Chair of the Trust and Syd was the vice-Chair set to take over when she graduated from college. I guess that you will now be set to take over in place of Sydney given your desire to be a doctor and mom’s desire to have someone in the family run the trust and she certainly will not let Elliot or Charlene take it on and I told her in no uncertain terms back when she settled on Syd that I was not the right person for the role. I am involved in the fundraising and love that but have no desire or expertise to speak on anything medical.”

AJ – “Well fuck me sideways…”

Eva interrupted – “While that is an enticing offer, I just don’t think I could fuck my sister’s husband – too weird.”

AJ – “Nasty ass bitch, that is not what I meant and you bloody well know it. So there is no way out of doing this, Aoife is a force of nature and she knows I can’t say no to her. FUCK.”

Eva – “AJ, if you truly don’t want to do it, tell her, she will come around. Albeit you will likely be out of her will.”

AJ – “That might be enough for me to say no. I don’t want/need anything from her.”

Gran – “Who dear?”

AJ turned around and saw Gran and Nanny standing there with shit-eating grins on their faces.

Gran – “Do you honestly think Syd would not have me involved in the purchase of something like this? She was more than a granddaughter, my dear boy.”

Eva – “Don’t I know it. She was the daughter you always wanted.”

Gran – “Ok, settle down their missy. I have a daughter but you are right Syd was a kindred spirit and if you would get those nickers out of your ass long enough to look at the two of us, we are the same person, I just have more flair than you do my dear.”

Eva – “Well hello to you too.” Eva got up and hugged her mom and kissed her cheek. “You know I love you but if you try and strong-arm AJ, I’ll hurt you.”

Nanny – “Ladies, put the claws back.”

AJ – “So Gran what the hell are you up to with this Trustee’s meeting you want me to go to.”

Gran – “My dear boy. You are Syd’s sole beneficiary so by all that is good and holy you are taking her place on the board and will take over when you graduate from college. This is the first meeting you will attend as the Chair-elect. Fuss a bit and then just accept the fact that you want to do this not only for me but for Syd and most importantly yourself.”

AJ stood there with his mouth wide open. He had no words at the moment. His Nanny looked at her watch and declared there are still miracles in this world - @ 1:30 PM on Sunday, May 15, 2005, Aaron Jonathan O’Brien was speechless. The banter continued between the four until they were interrupted by AJ’s friends.

Trav grabbed Nanny and twirled her around kissing her on the cheek - “Nanny if you will marry me, I’ll ditch the fiancé and we can run away together.”

Nanny kissed him on the cheek – “You big flirt, I’m not sure I could keep up with your sexual exploits. You seem to be randy enough that you need both Julia and AJ to satisfy your substantial appetite.”

Everyone was in tears they were laughing so hard. Trav was beet red and didn’t know what to say. Julia had to ask – “Why do you say he needs both me and AJ to satisfy him?”

Nanny winked at her – “Well my dear I assumed you ok'd the coupling, this one here is a bit of a screamer when he reaches his climax and I’m not that naïve to think two people of the same sex can’t have fun together and still love someone else.”

Brent yelled out – “Nanny, you are very progressive for someone your age. I knew I loved you. So Trav you are a screamer – is AJ a good lover?” Trav stood there with his mouth agape.

AJ ignored Brent and asked Julia where the boys were, she told him they were in the house with Carrie and Maddie. AJ let Eva know he was not happy he didn’t know they were here and he headed for the house to check on the boys and greet his ‘nieces’. The girls squealed when they saw AJ walk through the door and hugged him tightly. Carrie being the motherly type – “Uncle AJ, how are you doing? I’m sad about Aunt Syd and it sucks knowing she won’t be around anymore. I want to make sure you are taking care of yourself; we all need you.”

AJ hugged her tightly – “Nut, I’m upright which means I have what it takes to be ok and good. I’m not going to lie to you, my heart is a bit busted right now.”

Both Carrie and Maddie hugged AJ tight and let him know they would do absolutely anything he needed them to do. He asked them if they would watch the boys for a bit longer as he needed to talk with their mom for a quick bit. They agreed, AJ kissed their heads and went to find Eva.

When he had tracked her down, he pulled her into the boathouse for another quick conversation – “I need your insight on what to tell your mom about this trustee thing. I want to do it for Syd, but I’m not sure I’m in a great headspace, what do you think?”

Eva smiled and shook her head a bit – “AJ be serious, you are going to tell her you will do it so stop fussing and get on board. You are the logical family member. What I would do if I were you would be to tell her you will take over when you are done with Medical School not just college that way you can focus on getting that done quickly.”

AJ hugged her and thanked her for the advice. He knew she was right that he was going to do this but the delay would be good for his sanity. Before he could escape the pool house, Eva fixed him with a stare – “Originally I was not sure you would ever consider this but given the reveal Lindal provided about you and Trav, I’m more hopeful that you are open-minded about possibilities.”

AJ looked at her like she had three heads – “What are you talking about crazy lady?”

Eva smiled – “Well, you have an admirer and this person is male. He is struggling with his attraction to you and is not sure you would ever consider him as a life partner. Could you see a male as your next partner?”

AJ – “What the fuck? I have not even interred Syd’s ashes and you are asking me about my next great love. No, no; let me finish. I never expected to be here, I expected to die in Syd’s arms at the age of 100 but that was not in the cards. I’m not remotely ready to consider anyone at this time but to answer your ultimate question would I consider same-sex marriage, it’s clear to me that I am bi-sexual so I would be stupid to think that a life partner had to be female.”

When AJ and Eva came out of the pool house, everyone had arrived. That conversation took longer than 30 minutes. AJ welcomed his siblings, their spouses and kids individually and let everyone know that food was ready at their leisure this whole affair was country casual despite the surroundings. AJ started getting lots of questions about what happened with the ‘rents so he stepped up on the diving board and got everyone’s attention without his customary whistle.

AJ looked beaten – his friends and family were getting more and more concerned about his mental health as he stood there saying nothing. Steph moved to the diving board with him and pulled him into a hug whispering in his ear – “today just do you, whatever that is that will make you happy TODAY. You can deal with all of us and the ‘rents at your leisure. I love you, kiddo.” She kissed his cheek and said out loud – “you got this Skeet.”

When Steph stepped down everyone in the backyard was standing with their mouths open – AJ began “Shut your mouths you’ll catch flies. Yes, Steph and I have a détente going now. I for one am going to work at keeping it in place but that is not what everyone has been asking me about, so here goes.

You all got letters apologizing for my behavior yesterday and letting you know how sorry I was for putting an additional burden on anyone, what I didn’t get into was the why behind it all.”

AJ detailed the entire affair, trying to paint the ‘rents in the best light possible. He made sure to state emphatically that in retrospect he knew they were trying to do the best for him, the boys and Syd’s memory. He further explained the significance of the outfits – Syd’s dress, his linen suit and the boys’ linen shorts and shirt.

He addressed his health, both mentally and physically – despite his physical in Chelan he knew both were continuing to decline. He acknowledged he would be setting an appointment with a professional tomorrow to help him deal with everything that has hit him in the last 2 weeks. AJ thanked everyone for coming on short notice and just being his family.

He stepped off the diving board and was met with hugs, kisses and love that he needed from the most important people in his life. It all helped fill his tank enough to determine to go and talk to the ‘rents then and there. After he had been hugged and kissed by the entire family, he pulled Gina aside and asked her to keep an eye on the boys. He needed to go and deal with the ‘rents. She tried to talk him out of it as he seemed lighter than he had since Syd’s death. Nanny overheard the conversation and stepped in –

“My boy, you do what you need to do. We will look after those precious boys. I will ask you to go lightly as everyone is extremely raw right now. Know what you are going to say and hope to get out of this conversation and do not get into a discussion you are not prepared for in advance. Despite everything those people love and adore you, yes, they have dropped the ball a great deal but you are the best person I know so please remember that as you talk with them.”

AJ left quietly and unnoticed by most. Steph quietly approached Gina and Nanny. She asked what AJ was up to and if he needed any help. Gina was still pissed at her sister and turned to walk away, Steph grabbed her arm and pulled her into a tight embrace – “Bear, I talked to AJ about his rape yesterday afternoon. We are healing, please know I love you both and I will do better to show it.”

Gina cried into her sister’s shoulder for a few minutes. She composed herself and thanked her for letting her know. She apologized for hitting her, not what she said but she should never have physically hit her. Steph said it was a great wake-up call and it had focused her enough to love AJ the way he deserved and then things became clear as to what happened. Initially, he thought you said something about it but I set the record straight. We will help him get through this, I told him we would do anything to help him heal.

AJ pulled into Charlene and Elliot’s driveway immediately got out of the car, went to the door and rang the bell. He was on a mission and would not give himself an out. When Elliot opened the door, he was gobsmacked, he stood there until Charlene yelled from the other room – “Who is at the door dear?”

Elliott stepped aside to let AJ in the door. AJ strode to the family room where Charlene and his parents were talking. When they looked up you could have heard a pin drop. It was tense for some time; AJ took the bull by the horns so to speak – “I should have called but honestly I did not want to give you time to prepare for this conversation.”

Charlene stood and made her way to hug AJ, which he stopped her from doing – “Mom, I love you but I’m not ready for that.” Charlene started crying for a couple of reasons – AJ had not called her that, EVER and she had tried in vain to get him to and she also wanted to hug him and share their grief.

AJ carried on – “Will you all sit? Thank you.” AJ took a seat opposite the others. “I see that you opened the gift, I…”

Evelyn interrupted – “Skeeter, thank you for coming here and taking the lead on this mess. We have been talking about everything that has happened since you and Syd met. We did some role play – wherein in each situation that went south one of us played AJ. It was enlightening, to say the least and life-changing to say the most. Collectively we all came to the same conclusion – if any of us had been in your shoes we would have told ourselves to get lost right after our reaction to Syd’s pregnancy. We are who we are but have agreed to do better as we move forward.”

AJ was a bit stunned and sat for a few minutes before he started again “Thank you for that, as you can tell I was not prepared for that admission and Nanny made me promise not to get pulled into a conversation I was not prepared to undertake so I will leave that for now.

I wanted to make sure I apologize for losing my temper yesterday, Syd would be disappointed in me that I was goaded into rash behavior and I’m sorry for that. I want you all in our lives but I won’t let you dictate our future. Pops, please let me finish.

I am drowning and I recognize that fact. I am calling a professional tomorrow morning for help. There are too many things that have happened in my life and I have two boys that are depending on me to care for and nurture them to continue to tamp this stuff down.

If you are serious about checking your ‘fix it’ approach to my life then I would like you to join me at our family barbecue. You will have to ride there with me and there will be transportation back as I don’t want any drinking and driving for obvious reasons."

JJ rose and crossed to his son, pulling him reluctantly into a hug. He whispered into his ear – “I am so fucking sorry I let you down as a father. You are a better man now than I have ever been. I love you with all my heart and soul.”

AJ lost it – he had hoped with everything in his being that it would go well but he would not allow himself to think they had changed at all. In all his sobs he almost missed the other three circling him, hugging him and telling him they loved him. He peered over his father’s shoulder and saw his Gams & Gramps and Syd arm in arm smiling at him. Gramps said – ‘I’m sorry and don’t be like me.’

Syd was beaming – ‘Please my love, be open to love whenever and wherever it comes from. You are not betraying our love. You can’t remain alone. I love you to the moon and back’. AJ called out “always and forever.”

Evelyn looked at AJ and simply stated – “Syd?” AJ smiled – “Syd, Gams & Gramps.”

They hugged for some time, crying and just being together. Individual hugs were shared and more confessions of regret and love were shared with AJ. They were eventually able to pull themselves together and head to AJ’s Tahoe.

On the drive, Evelyn asked – “Where are we going?”

AJ relayed the fact that Syd had purchased a house in Hunts Point. The renovations were underway on the main house but the guest house was done so he and the boys would be staying there for a month or so to heal and make sure AJ could start on his therapy.

As they pulled into the drive, JJ croaked out “Holy Shit.” AJ quickly jumped in with “Don’t get me started. Syd fell in love with this place, I tried to talk her out of it but she was undeterred. The renovations to the main house will be done in early December. The initial plan was to invite everyone over for Christmas Eve dinner and show you where we would be living.”

Charlene commented – “Syd always loved the water; this place looks perfect and just the right size.”

AJ choked on that comment – “Mom, Respectfully, I think you are nuts. The main house is 12,000 square feet, the guest house is 3,500 square feet and the pool house is 1,800 square feet. Without Syd, this place is too big for the three of us but we will call this home regardless.”

Elliot piped up – “Syd always talked about having 8 kids, so I’m sure she had plans to fill this place up. AJ, I know this is probably not what you want to hear right now but son I need you to understand me – Syd would not want you to be alone so take your time to heal, take care of your boys but please do not close your heart to love. You are such a wonderful person you deserve to be happy. Syd would want that for you and the boys.”

As they exited the vehicle, AJ hugged his father-in-law and thanked him for those kind words. He led them to the party in the backyard that was definitely in full swing. The wine and beer were flowing and folks were having a great time. As AJ led the ‘rents into the party, the music stopped and everyone ceased what they were doing – you could have heard a pin drop.

AJ jumped up on the diving board again – “By this reaction, I am assuming you are shocked with our ‘rents arrival. We had a good talk and are on the road to recovery. I will ask you all to not interfere in our shit, sorry kids, you will only muck it up. Do not try to fix this for me, stay out unless asked to participate. I love you all but your little brother is starting a new chapter tonight and I will push back hard on anyone that interferes.”

Max ran onto the diving board taking AJ by surprise and into the pool – yelling at the top of his lungs – “Let’s have some fun”. As they surfaced Max kissed AJ on the cheek – “I love you little brother but we may need to find a new way of talking about you. You are the tallest, fittest, the one who looks to have tamed the ‘rents and now that you are taking control of your life, ‘little’ might get annoying.” Max squeezed both AJ’s cock and ass. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

AJ found his voice – “You perve, I was only 2 when you married my sister. Eeewwww. Talk about messed up, Max that’s just wrong.”

Max tried to dunk AJ who flipped his brother-in-law on his back and under the water. AJ manhandled him to where AJ had one arm around his chest holding him tightly to his body and whispered in his ear – “thank you for getting me wet. I needed to get out of my head.”