A Long, Hard Life

Yeah, your talk is cheap, you like mystery
I've been awake since two AM
I can barely stand another low
But the highs I wanna do 'em again
Maybe meet you with a couple friends
This ain't love, but maybe we pretend
Rent some pornographic movie
And we both know how it ends
I won't say it again

It's the darkest time of the night
God and vodka might save my life
You judge, but I don't give a damn
I live a life so shameless

– Shameless by Tyler Glenn

***

"I'm so sorry, fellas."

"Stop that! So you fucked him into unconsciousness. It's a bottom's wet dream."

"I see what you did there."

"Does he have enough air?"

"I'd say so, he was screaming loud enough."

"Honey, that was you."

My eyelids fluttered open to painfully bright light. A few seconds later a blurry visage resolved into the blonde, handsome face of my lover, Anton. He hovered inches from my nose studying my expression for the slightest hint of discomfort. I became conscious as he threaded his fingers through my thick black mane.

He broke into a smile of profound relief. "Hey there, you gave us quite a scare! How do you feel?"

I propped on my elbows after rubbing my eyes. My coppery bronze skin shone in the dim light with only a small towel covering my modesty. I lay on a bed scarcely wider than my shoulders and I was only five-four.  I smiled back groggily. "I feel fine! I must have fallen asleep."

"Fucking hardcore, mate. He's a power bottom if that thing bored him to sleep!"

"Shut up!" I heard raucous laughter past Anton. I looked up to see the familiar faces of the Aussie, Tatted Hotness and a fellow American, Dennis.

I remembered Tatted Hotness from the shower room. He appeared to be in his late twenties or early thirties. I admired his beefy muscles with tattoos across his chest, shoulders, and sleeved down both arms. He cropped his thick dark hair in a military style that blended seamlessly with a nicely trimmed beard. It framed a ruggedly handsome face of good character. As much as I enjoyed ogling him, I could not tear my gaze away from the black giant, Dennis.

He stood well over six feet in height with a robust frame packed with the muscles of a titan. I estimated him to be in his thirties. His skin shone hazelnut brown in color, hairless and smooth across most of his body. He appeared thick everywhere without an ounce of unnecessary fat. His bald pate shone in the light, drawing attention to narrow eyes, cheekbones of a Nubian god, a broad, flat nose, and lips that expressed the subtlest of emotions. Emil stood in stark contrast next to him.

Emil looked like a younger, smoother version of his brother Anton at age 24 with short blonde hair, a natural tan, and muscles honed as near to physical perfection as nature allowed. He ducked away giggling as Dennis pretended to backhand Hotness. My eyes darted from one handsome face to another in hopeless confusion when Anton pulled me to look back into his eyes.

"Chonay, you passed out."

"I did?"

"You did, do you remember where you are?" He asked.

I looked around at the plain, tiny, windowless room. I lay on the sole bed. There was black, padded metal bench next to it. There was barely room for three. Two of the guys stood out in a dimly lit hallway holding the door open. The scent of hot, humid air heavy with masculine sweat and sex overpowered my senses, spurring shivers down my spine. My sleeping cock roused with a vengeance.

"The bathhouse, I was strapped into a sling. What happened?" I felt my head.

"Hagrid here fucked you clear out of out of Hogwarts, Harry!" Tatted Hotness winked. The black giant, Dennis hung back looking worried and deeply ashamed. It broke my heart to him like that. I scooted upright on the bed and patted for him to sit. I promptly straddled his lap with my arms hooked around his muscular neck. Only then did I realize that I had been naked under my towel. My erection poked him in the rocky plates of his gut.

"None of that," I kissed his frown. "I'm not hurt. I feel a little stretched but not sore. I'm okay, so don't beat yourself up."

"You still passed out." His lips stiffened insistently. "I knew better. Nobody can take a dick like mine straight away."

"Maybe, but I made the call. It's my body, my responsibility." I broke into a foxy grin. "You know what? I don't remember the last time. How about round two?"

Eyebrows all around climbed skyward. I envisioned an exodus of caterpillars. Dennis blurted out even as I felt a distinctive rise from below.

"You want to go again?" He boggled.

"Sure!" I chirped. "I came here to find out what it was like, so why not?"

I climbed up long enough to pull the towel from Dennis' lap. Anton squatted behind me and drilled his tongue past my quivering sphincter while Emil and Hotness stood on the bed feeding me a cock over each of Dennis' shoulders. I lathered both organs until they glistened with spit before turning my attention to their balls.

"Oh, fuck, like that!" Emil babbled blissfully as I sucked each of his testicles into my mouth. I rolled my tongue across the smooth skin, savoring how full his testicle felt before popping off to the next.

"I need a name to attach to these beauties," I peered up at Tatted Hotness before wrapping his orbs within the fullness of my lips.

"Bailey, mate, a pleasure. Shit, but you're good at that!" His legs trembled as I rubbed his taint with my tongue.

I gasped around my mouthful as Anton nearly worked me into an orgasm with his mouth. I pulled away before the moment of truth and slowly worked the head of Dennis' massive cock inside me. Anton joined the pair on the bed to feed me his cock.

"S-l-o-w-l-y," I enunciated as I sat on Dennis. His cock was thick from start to finish with no respite or mercy. Dennis stretched me nearly as much as my princes when they penetrated me together. I swooned at the power pulsing between my legs. I spread until I could spread no more as gravity pulled me past the point of no return. The rest depended on sheer lust and determination.

"You feel so good wrapped around my cock." Dennis rubbed my arms soothingly.

"You feel incredible inside me!" I broke from pleasuring Bailey, Emil, and Anton to kiss Dennis.

My taint rested on skin indicating an end to the impossible journey. Dennis' bull-like balls claimed victory against my ass trench but it was I who conquered Mount Dennis. I nuzzled into the darkness between my arm and his neck to gather my strength for what came next.

My body shone with sweat and my muscles trembled with a mixture of rampant excitement and exertion. My natural oil ran in runnels of slipperiness from my cock down and between our muscular bellies.

"Damn, but you're tight!" Dennis growled deeply. He covered the whole of my back with a single hand. He cupped my assflesh with the other. I heaved throaty staccato breaths as he lifted me off his cock. Every vein and ridge of his mammoth organ raked against my prostate. I wept with the intensity of the pleasure. I hovered at an aurora borealis of ecstasy when he plunged me back down.

My consciousness sparked with bright flashes and I understood how I lost consciousness before. I waved off the poppers, they were too much for my system to handle. Instead, I pinched shut my eyes to narrow my focus to only the sensations these men thrust upon me.

I sucked down three cocks in rapid succession, identifying their owners by shape, size, and texture. They filled me with frenetic energy that I could express only through my mouth. I rolled my head, I used my lips and tongue, I squeezed them with my throat without mercy until one after another they howled in rapturous surrender. A lust-filled demon took possession of my soul and I chained four more victims to my stable of willing slaves.

Out of nowhere I gasped, my awareness drawn with a whip-like crack to a single point. I threw back my head in a silent scream as the thickness of Dennis choked off my release. The surge in my loins jammed at the base of my shaft, the swell of my impending prostate orgasm crashed into the back of this, and suddenly two forces, each capable of sweeping me away in a riptide of inescapable ecstasy, dragged me under. Dennis added to this with a merciless stab into my core and suddenly we both rocked in a most delicious kind of hell. 

My vision cleared sometime later. I felt as heavy as lead but euphoric. Dennis grew slack inside me, unstopping my flow of residual passion to flood across his belly. In the meantime I greedily swallowed three loads fired by my lovers. They drenched my face and hair, as well as Dennis' cheek and shoulder with their creamy discharge. I licked my chops and sucked greedily as they raked the remnants of their manly essence into my mouth. Too soon Dennis climbed to his feet and strode back to the shower room, bearing my weight effortlessly in one arm.

We cleaned up, exchanged numbers, and went our separate ways. I would not soon forget my first visit to a bathhouse.

We took the limo back to the hotel. I lay across my lovers, this time with my head pillowed in Emil's lap. I kissed his knuckles, "I hope you got your itch scratched tonight Baby Boy."

"Oh, yes, I'm flying!" He beamed.

"Good, I know I'm not big enough to satisfy you like you need, so this helps."

"This was fun, Tiso, but you satisfy me in every way I could ever want." He brushed our lips together tenderly, using my Tsalagi nickname. I drew Anton to lay against us both in a three-way puppy pile. I closed my eyes and floated in dreamy contentment – at least, for a while. Only too soon however the nagging weight of reality anchored me down and it grew heavier as time passed.

"You're tensing up again, Tiso." Anton propped on an elbow to study my face. The late night lights strobed across his handsome features as the world passed outside. I caressed his lip with the pad of my thumb, my heart overflowing with emotion at the sight of him.

Why me, once again I wondered how I'd won the love of these blonde demigods. I set that aside to chip away at the immediate weight dragging me down.

I stared into darkness. "Would any of those guys have wanted me had they known what I was?"

"What you are," Anton frowned. Emil questioned soon after.

"What are you?"

I patted Emil's arm. "You know, that I'm intersex, not a guy like them, like you."

"They didn't notice, Chonay." Anton replied.

"I knew," I swallowed a hard knot of emotion. "I felt like I was lying to them. They deserved better. They deserved to know the truth, to make up their own minds. I stole their right to make an informed, adult decision."

"We're likely never going to see them again, Chonay. I don't get why this is eating at you." Anton sat up. "No one was hurt tonight."

"It isn't about them," I stressed. "It's about me. I have to look at myself I'm the mirror. I have to live with my decisions. I can pass as a man but I'm not a man. I'm a mix of secondary sex characteristics thrown together without rhyme or reason. I'm not male. I'm not female. I'm not...anything. I know how I'd feel if one of you revealed that you were a woman."

Emil laughed, "I have the world's biggest clit!"

I swatted his arm half-heartedly, eliciting more giggles and a powerful hug.

"You are unique, Chonay. It is part of what makes you beautiful." Emil kissed my hair and thought about it. "There are no easy answers."

"Full disclosure with every stranger you meet," Anton listed, "complete isolation, wearing a sign, sex change, or letting the matter go and accepting that you are third-sex in a two-sex world. The burden of your existence is not on your shoulders, Chonay, but ours. Humanity has done everything it can to ignore and obfuscate the truth."

"Precisely, and nothing will change because of that." I turned onto my back and caressed their cheeks, enjoying how they leaned into my touch. The helpless sorrow darkening their eyes hurt to see. I took action to lessen it.

"I'm the advocate. I'm falling down on the job and my conscience is kicking me in the ass. It's so easy to relax and let the world think I'm a gay male. I forget how it is another kind of closet."

"There is a way you can let others know at a glance." Emil brushed one of my nipples through my shirt and I gasped, pressing into his touch.

"Let my breasts grow." Tears trickled into my hair, to the seat cushion below. "You're right, but I love the body I have now."

"You're hurting," Anton rubbed my knuckles soothingly.

"I am but I'm not ready to make that decision yet."

"You'll hurt until you do." Emil looked sad.

We pulled up to the hotel and tabled the heavy discussion for another time. I took a hand in each of mine and walked with my princes through the lobby. We garnered a few curious stares but mostly smiles and passing comments about how cute we looked together.

The elevator trip led to the inevitable kissing and fondling, Anton and Emil pulled me back and forth in their silly little competition to see who got me first between them. The doors opened into the penthouse suite and ahead of us squatted an unexpected figure. Zeke, the valet, from earlier, with spiky red hair and a devilish smile sat squat a few feet away.

He looked to be in his early twenties, dressed to entice in a shimmering black muscle shirt at least two sizes too small. His nipples pointed through the fabric and the slabs of pectoral muscle in his chest stretched it tight. His cobblestone abs bulged through the lower part leading to distressed blue jeans tight enough to accentuate both a swoon-worthy package and an ass to die for. He covered his feet with cute red trainers with rainbow laces. Lastly, he wore red jeweled studs in each earlobe with two additional rings on his left lobe. They added a bit of rakish charm to his fox-like features. Eyes the color of gas flame sparkled with mischief as he rose to his feet to greet us with exuberant cheer.

"Allo, allo, allo! It looks like I'm just in time for the party! You gents look good enough to eat!"

---

Author Note: I write in a fantasy world where sexually transmitted diseases do not exist but in the real world, PrEP before you play and glove it before you love it. Carry on gentlemen!

* I want to hear from you gents. How should Chonay handle being third-sex when meeting gay men? Should he wear a sign, reveal his status immediately, wait a while(how long)? Not worry about it since he can pass as a guy? Something else? Talk to me either in the comments below or via email. Thanks!