A Long, Hard Life

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later, it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

–"Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls

***

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

–Victor Hugo

Chonay's Perspective
(Before Dude Ranch)

We left Melbourne a couple of days ago and turned north on our whirlwind world tour. We stopped in Singapore to enjoy the sheer beauty of the city before skipping like a rock around Southeast Asia from Manilla, Philippines to our ultimate destination, Tokyo, Japan.

We settled in at the hotel in Tokyo. Gay Pride here was in a couple of weeks and then for only one weekend. This gave us time to push for stronger environmental legislation, report on the latest Green Technology, and have fun rock climbing and flying wingsuits over Mount Fuji, parkour and acrobat training. I took part in a sexual minorities seminar at the university, promoted the new resort, and geeked out at all of the manga and toys.

Anton and Emil were both into anime as well as Bara(gay) manga. They used their royal clout to meet writers and artists. To show our gratitude we plugged their products on our channel.

The tour continued at our favorite game studio. We posted everything to our social media account and chatted with fans on Discord. This was by far the craziest leg of our journey. Seeing cameras everywhere inspired us to take our relationship to the next level.

"Now is the time if we're going to do this," Emil cast a glance over his shoulder at the reporters dogging our heels.

I felt a spike of anxiety as the moment arrived. Anton rubbed my palm with his thumb. He gave me a smile. "We can wait if you aren't ready."

"I know, but we're going to face this eventually. We might as well do it on our terms."

"I can handle anything as long as I'm with you." I blushed as he kissed my knuckles. God, how I loved this man.

"Emil," I reached for him as he drew close. I took his hand while keeping hold of Anton's. Zeke walked a short distance away, all but invisible in the crowd despite his coppery red locks. I gave him a subtle nod and he prepared.

At this time the world knew Anton and I were dating. Publicly, Emil "tagged along" as the other half of an internet celebrity duo. Rumors spread like wildfire that we were more involved, that we were a threesome or "throuple" as I read in headlines. 

Fans online went bonkers speculating about us while the shippers wrote pornographic romance stories by the dozen. The debate raged with interest reaching a fever pitch. We chose this moment to act. Zeke launched a camera drone and guided it to fly in circles around us.

Anton wrapped his arms around me from behind and placed a kiss on top of my head. As he did this, I pulled Emil into my arms. He peered down at me, his true blue eyes sparkling, his smile infectious as he held up his phone, ready to record. "Say 'cheese' to the nice photographers."

I chuckled as we kissed long and deeply, until only the most jaded denialist might question what we were doing. For good measure, I tipped upward and drew Anton into a matching kiss while Emil watched only inches away. I caught sight from the corner of my eye as people aiming smartphones gawked alongside gobsmacked photojournalists. Zeke ceased recording and per instructions, he uploaded the video, first to TikTok, then to Discord, Instagram, and other outlets.

"We are now officially public. How does it feel, guys?" I took a deep breath. 

"I hate the necessity of it," Anton growled sullenly. "I understand how much we need the attention and I support it, but I don't have to like it."

"I'm checking our Discord channel for reactions. It looks like Tiktokers are first to post. Oh,yeah, heads are exploding!" Emile laughed while staring at his phone.

"This is a good time to drop my surprise." I logged in to my website from my phone and hit "send" on my latest update. I designed superhero alter egos for Anton and Emil a couple of months ago and posted them to my Deviant Art account.

I did it as a lark at the time, working Anton and Emil's love of extreme sports into their costumed identities. The characters grew so popular that I threw together an introductory adventure, "Impact & Ricochet vs Banal Bane and the Legion of Gloom," and posted links to more pages on my Patreon account for subscribers.

I just uploaded the latest page where the dashing brothers are rescued from the dastardly death trap by the timely arrival of "Wakan," my mystic alter ego. I timed the first flirty kiss between the three heroes to coincide with our big reveal.

"I feel like celebrating!" I put on a brave smile. "Who wants Pocky?"

***

We enjoyed a night on the town before settling down back at the hotel. We wanted to control the narrative about our relationship, so we announced an impromptu livestream on Discord to answer questions. We set up my laptop on the coffee table with ring light and edge lamps. I sat on the floor with my back against Anton and Emil seated to our right, the brothers resting back against the couch. Fans asked questions hard and fast. First on the text feed, then video as it came online:

Are we a threesome? Yes.

Do we sleep in the same bed? Yes.

Do we do the horizontal tango? No comment. 😉

Who tops and who bottoms? Yes.

Do the brothers kiss by accident when they kiss Chonay? Sometimes it isn't an accident. 💋 💅

The crowd pressed this point until Anton and Emil locked lips before millions of hypersexed fans. They broke away, blushing, which got all of the shippers squealing with glee.

Anton scrunched his nose in distaste as audio came online, "It's about like kissing my big toe."

"I taste better than your toe, fucker!" Emil pretended to choke his brother, which got a lot of laughs. I cringed away from the roughhousing with a snarl.

"Will you stop! I don't know why I put up with you!"

Emil settled down and answered me with a Cheshire cat grin. "Mind-blowing sex you can't get anywhere else?"

I hung my jaw thinking about it. Finally I nodded, "okay, I'll give you that."

We kept the witty lines flying fast and furious, keeping our audience entertained. Tackling incest rumors head-on gave us more control over the public perception of our relationship. We chose to be pragmatic, saying that casual contact could not be helped and the brothers treated it no differently from other siblings, they yelled "ick" and moved on.

Openly acknowledging some contact and treating it as a non-issue hopefully armed us for when more serious detractors took aim at our reputations. At this point I changed the topic to how European culture and religion, not "natural order" shaped laws limiting marriage to two people. The fans took it as I expected.

OMG 😳 ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED??????!!!!! 😍 💕 💍

My computer strained to convey the excitement in those all caps letters. We listened to the deafening cheers of fans while the text on the screen scrolled too fast to read. My lovers laced their fingers in mine and together we took in this surreal moment.

We laid everything bare, no more secrets, and people supported us. It was tangible, quantifiable, and while our audience was small compared against the overall population, it filled me with hope. Tears trickled down my cheeks and I choked up on the live feed. Anton took over.

"It wouldn't be legal, guys." He said softly. He seemed to be as overwhelmed as I.

"Fuck that, same-sex marriage was illegal only a few years ago. We can do this. Am I right, guys?" Emil turned to the live stream for help and they gave it, loudly.

Anton picked up, "Guys, we love you but I think we're going to cut tonight's stream here. Thank you for your support. It means everything to us. We literally can't do this without you."

Emil signed off, touching heart fingers together, "PIECE!"💞👄 🍆 🍑 💦 💦 💦

I turned in Anton's arms and wept with relief. Emil hugged us both while his brother stroked my hair soothingly.

Anton smiled, "The more the world sees us and gets to know us, the less scary we seem. You were right, Chonay."

"Of course he was right. He has a degree in this stuff." Emil chirped cheerfully.

"I have a degree in Advertising and Design which covers the basics for public relations," I pointed out succinctly. "I'd never done anything this big or so personal. We should have let the professionals handle this, guys." I sat back against Anton and hugged my trembling arms. Anton rubbed my arms soothingly.

"We live in the age of TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. You know more about what you're doing than most online celebrities." He pointed out.

"You market your work every day. Our subscriber numbers have jumped ever since we met you."

"Is this a case of post show anxiety?" Anton gave me a knowing little smile.

I gave him a shaky nod. "Like clearing a big jump and then realizing I could have died. Give me a minute and I'll be fine." Emil placed a kiss on my shoulder and I rubbed noses with him.

"Someone is in a mood." I smiled at him.

"I am always in a mood." He touched our foreheads together gently.

The lamps on the coffee table beside him gave Emil a foxfire glow in the dark room. Reflected light struck his blue eyes aflame with color as shadow obscured half of his face. I sat speechless, wonderstruck at the beauty before me. He seized the moment to work deft fingers under the hem of my t-shirt.

I became suddenly conscious that I sat back against Anton with his arms wrapped around me, his chin resting comfortably on top of my head. I watched as Emil looked past me, engaged in a wordless exchange with his brother. The sweet lover's smile on his lips turned devilish. Emil lifted my shirt while Anton tossed it away. Emil tugged my pants down and off while Anton rubbed my newly exposed flesh.

I rested my head back on Anton's shoulder and arched my back with a mighty stretch. My erection stood tall and proud from my lap, ready to take on all comers. I sat with a flop of comfort and a smile. "You two are incorrigible." I scolded my lovers but gently.

"Says the one encouraging us." Emil chuckled.

"We can stop if you're tired." Anton caressed my arms.

"No, but maybe we should take it to the bedroom."

"Why?" Before I could answer, Emil bent and sucked my cock to the root. I gasped with surprise and pushed off the floor, shoving as much of my shaft down his throat as I could.

Meanwhile, Anton slipped two fingers past my lips. I sucked on them like miniature cocks, moaning as Emil lashed my glans with his tongue.

"You are so fucking hot, Chonay." Anton licked inside my ear, driving me crazy. The iron bar of his sex pressed against my back as Anton circled my areolas with wet fingers. He then pinched them hard, ripping a yelp of lust from me. My cock lurched inside Emil's throat and spat a long string of presex fluid for him to enjoy. He purred loudly in gratitude and intensified his sucking.

Anton sucked in his gut and tugged on the side of his shorts. He called out for help, "Emil."

His brother popped off my boner and butted the coffee table back. He took hold of the hem of Anton's shorts and slid them clean off as Anton lifted me effortlessly off his lap. Emil started back for my cock when he halted. "I have an idea."

He hooked my knees over his shoulders and stood on his knees. I hung upside down facing Anton's cock. I planted my palms flat on the floor and "walked" closer. Anton took his rod in hand and aimed it at my mouth. I sucked the spongy crown of his enormous organ into the back of my throat and swallowed him greedily. His scrotum pulled tightly against his shaft as Anton growled his approval.

"F-F-Fuck…yes, eat that fucking cock!"

Emil sat on his heels and shifted me until I lay more horizontally. He cupped the flesh of my ass in his palms and pushed up. He bent his head and once again sucked my cock into the back of his throat. The blood rushed to my head in this weird acrobatic position but my throat extended at the ideal angle from which to take every inch of Anton's glorious meat. My nose rested in his pubes and filled my awareness with Anton's intoxicating scent. I peered down as my spit and his juices dripped from Anton's swollen nuts.

I drew my lover to the edge of heaven over the next few minutes only to thwart his release. I grinned around my mouthful as Anton cursed my wickedness. Emil drove me insane in kind by drilling his tongue deep inside my ass. Before long Anton and I were squirming, emotional wrecks aching, begging, pleading to empty our balls. Anton finally took the matter in hand.

"Fuck this," he pulled me off of him like a sword swallower and drew me from Emil's shoulders. The blond godling then hugged me back against him, his powerful arms enfolding me, my head resting back on his shoulder, our lips locked together in wild, insatiable passion. Anton sank four fingers inside my wet, hungry hole and found me ready. He aimed his lance and pierced me to the core in one long, rutting plunge.

I cried out as pain and pleasure crashed together with thunderous abandon inside me. The merciless hand of gravity pulled me inexorably down inch after inch of Anton's intimidatingly long, deliciously thick tree trunk of a cock until my hole rested flush against his belly. I might have been satisfied had Emil not fixed me with his molten blue gaze.

The younger brother took his rampant meat in hand, so much like Anton's in size and girth, and wedged in beside his elder brother's sex.

"Oh, fuck yes!" I cried out with unfettered ecstasy as Emil crushed me between him and Anton. The brothers stretched my hole beyond all reasonable limits and I loved it. They caged my body inside their own until I knew only the pounding of their powerful hearts. They surrounded me with heat and sweat, they seized my lips and filled me with lustful breath. They marked my body with their teeth, with their lips, all while drawing and thrusting their weapons with sublime symmetry.

Anton took my ass in hand and raised me with a steady pumping action on the tumescent spikes filling me while Emil tormented my nipples with expert teeth and fingers. My cock rubbed against the guttered plates of muscle in Emil's abdomen until the juices of my excitement dripped from his balls. We pulled back from the edge of release several times before our need grew too intense to deny.

"I'm close," Anton hissed.

"Me too!" Emil grimaced with effort.

"Oh, fuck, I'm–" I hosed down Emil's belly with gouts of thick, creamy spunk while the muscles of my ass quite literally milked salvo after salvo of steamy hot cream from the loaded balls of my lovers. In time our bodies relaxed and instead of breeding me like an animal, the brothers pinned me upright between them in a luxurious hug.

I purred with contentment while Anton caressed and kissed my back. I pushed away so I could lick my semen from Emil's belly. Anton seized the opportunity to felch his load and that of his brother from my tired ass. Emil met us in the middle and we shared a sloppy three-way kiss, trading our creamy loads back and forth until only the taste of our spent lust remained.

We resumed our hug, unwilling to break away from our intimacy just yet. I rested my head on Emil's chest, listening as his heart beat steadily. The words slipped easily from my lips. "I love you."

They squeezed me tightly and spoke in unison. Anton replied a half second faster, "I love you too."

I smiled, a little love drunk, my voice scratchy from accommodating so much cock. "I hope so, you two are double-fucking me every time now."

"I didn't hear you complaining." Emil kissed my ear.

"You won't, either." I leaned back and looked into his eyes. "I love feeling you both inside me. I might not be able to take you everyday but when I can, I want you both."

"Then that is what you shall have." Anton took me by the hair and kissed me with such intensity my toes curled. "For now though, I say we take a shower and get some sleep. I want to do something special for Zeke tomorrow."

"Yes, he earned his keep and then some today." I stretched catlike and climbed clumsily to my feet. The boys got off that. They fist bumped and strutted cockily knowing they had fucked me to such satisfaction that I had trouble walking.

I felt the change between us as we made our way around the suite. We leaned into each other tenderly, I felt as they casually brushed hands with me. It seemed unconscious, they needed my touch as much as I needed theirs. It felt good. l felt safe, loved, I felt wanted–no, cherished.

I knew how I felt but I had always feared abandonment. I always harbored a deeply rooted certainty that they could find a  better lover than me and they would learn that soon enough. They had nearly a year to figure it out. They were either dense or they were happy with me. Their touch indicated the latter and for once I simply accepted it. They were idiots but they were my idiots and I loved them so much it hurt.

We took a hot shower, fucked, and washed again and last I knew my head hit the pillow. I slept like a rock feeling great about life.

I jolted awake at an unfamiliar touch. It was still dark outside and the clock said 3:30 AM. I noticed that I lay in bed alone and the guy that woke me dressed like one of Mattias' Royal Guard. Still, I drew back from a stranger.

The guardsman stood back from the bed. "Sorry to startle you but the princes sent for you. They are taking a call from home and thought you might like to join them."

"Oh, okay, give me a minute?" I asked. He stepped out and I threw on a shirt and pants. My hair looked like a bird nest and no amount of brushing would tame it in a timely manner. I gave up and followed the guardsman out.

I knew the security team stayed in a room nearby but I had never seen their quarters in all the time I had been with the boys. I wondered about that as the guardsman led me to the elevator lobby.

"We're going to another floor?" I asked, puzzled.

"The royal family always books an entire floor when they stay. The security team stays one floor down." 

"That's weird, won't that keep you from responding quickly if there is trouble?" I stepped inside as the elevator doors hissed open.

"We monitor the elevator and the stairwell. Nobody gets past us, don't worry." He offered a reassuring smile.

I shrugged inwardly. It still seemed a little weird but what did I know? We stepped out one floor down and walked some distance before the guardsman opened the door to a suite. He gestured for me to enter. "They're inside."

I entered a suite with a similar floor plan to ours. It was lushly appointed but dark and seemingly deserted. I called out, "hello?"

The guardsman stayed outside so I continued calling out. Anton and Emil would have called out immediately so when silence greeted my calls I grew nervous. I found the door to the office and saw light under the door. I peeked inside only to have someone grab me roughly and pull me in. I stumbled a few steps stopping at the foot of an oak desk. Seated behind it was a familiar figure.

He looked like Anton if he had put on 30 years, 20 pounds of additional muscle, and dyed his hair coppery red. He parted his hair on the right and combed it back from a patrician brow. He kept his beard immaculately trimmed. The fit of his black suit and the stone in his wedding band indicated a great deal of wealth. He sat back in a high back leather desk chair holding a cup and saucer of tea.

The deep lines in his face told me this man rarely smiled. His eyes were the same vivid blue in color as Anton's. Unlike my lover, this man's eyes were as cold as the heart of a wintery mountain. I saw no life in those eyes. They opened into a hungry, bottomless void. I tore my gaze away and rubbed my arms against the chill of my reception.

"Ah, Chonay, how good of you to join us. Please, have a seat." The stranger's smile did not reach his eyes as he gestured to a nearby chair. He set his cup of tea on the desk blotter and laced his fingers in his lap.

"My name is Owain, Count Owain Spencer. It is such a pleasure to finally meet you. We have so much to discuss."

---

Author Note: I write in a fantasy world where sexually transmitted diseases do not exist but in the real world, PrEP before you play and glove it before you love it. Carry on gentlemen!

* Note: I apologize for the hiatus. My health has been up and down recently and the boys quit talking to me. They started jabbering last night and now they won't shut up! 😆 I appreciate your patience during the break, thank you.