I fell down on my bed and sighed, why on earth had I enjoyed it so much. I touched my lips and remembered the kiss, it had been two hours since then but the tingling feeling never wanted to leave. I touched my chest and I felt odd, I looked down seeing I was hard. The thought of the kiss had turned me on, I pulled down my pants and exposed my hard rod.

Whats happening, what am I doing I thought as I grabbed my hard manhood. I moved my hand up and down and the other hand was on my lips remembering Ravens lips meeting mine. Not only did I imagine his lips on my lips, but I took it further and with that thought I felt my hard on jerk and I felt a wonderful sensation. I continued to move my hand up and down, letting my mind take me away. I could feel his skin against my skin, making my movements faster I felt the pressure building. My body started shaking and I released, my seed landed on my chest.

I was shocked as I had gotten off, what had I just done. I shook my head and cleaned my self off, dressed and needed to take a walk. I had some things to think about, what was going on with me. I had never been this confused in my whole life.

I left my room, walked out from the common room and down to the great hall, I needed something to drink and most of all to think. I sat down and thought of some cold pumpkin juice, and within seconds it stood before me. It was the elf's that worked here that with there magic brought the food fromthe kitchen to the great hall. There as I drank my juice, Pansy sat down besides me.

Draco you seem upset you have been down since the school year started She said. Without even saying hi.

Just leave me alone I replied.

But Draco I want to be with you, help you she said.

I sighed loudly and stood up walking away. I heard her making a fuss and calling me almost screaming, I could not for the life of me understand why see had chosen to return to school. I left the school and walked down to thelake. I walked out on the stones, taking a seat.

I always felt peaceful watching the waves moving, I felt serene and like my mind found a single path to follow. I did not know why but I took of all my clothes and jumped in, it was freezing but it calmed me. I closed myeye's & without thinking I let the water take me.

It became blurry and my vision faded, I was slowly going deeper. It became black and the next thing I knew, I was coughing up water. Leaning over me was Hermione, and she seemed concerned.

What happened I thought out loud.

You almost drowned Hermione said.

Oh I replied.

Oh you could at least say thanks she said and stood up.

I rose and just made a sniff, I cant believe a mud-blood saved me, but it had not been the first time.

I looked down remembering that I was naked and went to get my clothes, after I had dressed myself I sat down seeing that Hermione came up to me. Still hanging around.

Thank you, you can go now I said in my usual snobby tone.

You can be a bit more grateful she said and sat down.

What do you want Mud-Bl...I trailed off.

She sat quite for a short time and just looked at me, I guess I could have gone away but the truth was I did not want to be alone. Not that I would admit it out in the open.

It's okay you know she started speaking.

What is I said in a mean tone.

To feel lonely, and to feel confused she answered.

I did not answer, only sat there quite. She did not leave my side nor did she say anything more. We sat there for about an hour before we both started to move up the hill towards the school, and as we reached the court yard Hermione went left and I went right. Non of us saying good bye, but as we split I said in a quite voice thank you Hermione.

I walked up the stairs,and to the right to the hall of moving stairs. It took me fifteenminutes from the court yard to end up back in the common room. I walked past the stares of Harry who sat down on the sofa by the fireplace. I walked up the stairs and into my room, I needed to relax I needed to find some warmer clothes. I took a shower and got dressed. Now seeing the sun setting and I thought it best to sleep for the rest of the day and night, all these thoughts in my head made me tired made me not wanting to deal with real life.

Just a few hours of sleep and I woke up the time was around 03.00 in the night and I went to the window hoping that my mind had settled, but as I thought it was over all these feelings and pictures came back in my head swirling around making it hard for me to breath. I left my room after I had put on a silky green robe, I went to the common room and took a seat at the fire place. I pointed my wand and uttered the words Incendio.

The wand let out a burst of fire and the wood in the fireplace was lit.

It was quite for some time and yet my thoughts never did seem to slow down, I had a hard time knowing what these feelings meant. Not that I didn’t try to figure them out but nothing came to mind, nothing I had ever felt could compare to this. Trying even more I did not noticed that I now wasn’t alone.

Oh Draco its only you a female voice spoke.

I turned in a rush seeing it were Hermione, she had scared me a bit.

Sorry I startled you She continued and took a seat at the other edge of the sofa in front of the fireplace.

Couldn’t sleep I said in a short and somewhat annoyed voice.

No luck in that, I don't know what to do She replied.

I know the feeling I said without thinking.

She looked at me but I tried focusing on the flames that danced on the burning logs of wood. She seemed intrigued about what I had said, but I were not going to break the silence again. Yet my inner voice so to speak knew that shemight be able to help me. Just as I was about to speak she spoke.

So why cant you sleep She asked.

Well lots of thoughts I replied.

What kind of thoughts She asked.

Non of your business I said in a snobby and arrogant voice.

She did not say anything just looked at me and as if she had mind controlling powers she stared into me as if she at any moment could drag the truth from my lips.

Don't know what I'm feeling I said.

Describe them she said.

I sighed but actually told her the feelings I had, not did I say it was towards raven, but that every time I was around this person I felt the need to protect him be close to him and that I had a sort of a rumbling sensation in my stomach, something nervous yet pleasant feeling. I also told her I felt confused and in a sort of anxiety state all the time. I sighed again as I stopped speaking. Hermione stood up and started walking, but then she turned around.

Well Draco sounds to me like your in love, and not just infatuated, but truly in love She explained.

I turned on the sofa seeing her smiling towards me, I must have looked as if my eye's were about to fly out, in a state of shook and somewhat horror.

Well I'm going to try to sleep again, god night Draco She said and walked up the stairs.

I turned my face back to the fireplace and even though it all had come as a shock to me, I noticed that my mind had calmed down, there must be truth to what Hermione had said. I was in love, but the thing that confused me wasthat It was with a guy, I was gay. As I said it to myself I felt abit more relaxed and fell asleep on the sofa. I felt a hand waking me in the morning and as I opened my eyes I saw Hermione in front of me.

Get up its 09.30 She said.

I opened my eye's fully and shot up in the sofa and ran up the stairs to change and in my heist I yelled thanks. I pulled on a pair of pants, black and tight,a simple light green shirt. I grabbed a long neck sweater in case itgot chilly and ran back down and out the room down to the great hallbefore they stopped serving breakfast.

I took my usual seat and within seconds Pansy had sat down beside me.

Good morning Draco, She said and smiled.

Im gay I said in a hushed voice.

What did you say She replied.

I turned my head and looked her in the eye's saying the words a little more clearly

I'm gay

Her look of shock that turned into falling tears, I knew was cruel of me but to get her to leave me alone it was worth it. She stood up and ran away crying, as she had left I said to myself yes I think i'm gay.


Sorry for the spelling but english is not my first language. and have noticed that when you paste your text words can get stuck with another word. 

XOXO - Rainsky



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