Chapter 5: First Black Gay Sexual Partner
After I turned 29 years old and noticed that my relationship with Veronica, the 33-year-old African American woman I was living with was becoming less fulfilling. My sex life with Veronica became nonexistent. I decided to start exploring new ways to meet people. I was not having luck connecting with gay men in local man for man gay chat rooms and began going to a local gay bar more frequently that was on the edge of town. I began seeking gay men for potential romantic or sexual connections with those I found attractive. The gay bar was a pleasant atmosphere with mostly gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transexual men and women or all races and ethnicities and some of their friends who were straight and hanging out with friends with sexual preferences differing from theirs. The people I met were friendly and outgoing in making personal connections. I found myself a bar table that was close to the dance floor so I could enjoy my drinks along with the music and watch gay men on the dance floor I could potentially meet.
After I was at the table for a half an hour an incredibly attractive black male, named Adrian, came to my table to introduce himself to me. Adrian asked if he could join me at my table since there was no place else for him to sit.
I thought Adrian was a sexy black man at five foot and eight inches tall weighing 160 pounds with an excellent medium build. Adrian had an adorable ass, and a beautiful thick and cut eight-inch cock that I would discover later. I welcomed Adrian to join me at my table, and he sat his chair close to me to where we sat directly next to each other facing the dance floor.
Adrian and I sat together at the bar table, relaxing and letting the music set the mood while we enjoyed our drinks for half an hour. The lively energy of the gay bar felt comforting, and we both seemed content just soaking it all in. As the evening progressed, a slow song began to play— “I Can't Stop Loving You”—and its soulful melody shifted the atmosphere around us. As the song began to play, Adrian gently placed his hand on my knee and leaned in closer. With a warm smile, he asked me, “Would like to join me for a dance Tony? You are the sexiest man in the bar tonight and it would be a shame for me to let this opportunity to dance with you close and slowly go to waste.”
The invitation felt both thrilling and tender, and I nodded yes to Adrian. Feeling a mix of excitement and anticipation as we stood up together and held hands and Adrian and I made our way to the dance floor after I gave him a hug and a deep passionate kiss.
Adrian and I held each other close, our bodies swaying gently in time with the music. As we looked into each other's eyes, a spark of sexual passion began to build between us, the world around us fading into the background. Adrian leaned in, his lips brushing softly against mine in a tender, lingering kiss, while his hand rested reassuringly on my waist. Pulling back just enough to meet my gaze, he whispered, “I find you to be extremely attractive Tony. You are an extremely attractive man with a sexy body and adorable ass that any man or woman would die to have, including me. I am looking forward to getting to know you better—and seeing where our connection might lead, both emotionally and sexually Tony.
When the song ended, Adrian and I walked back to the table, his hand gently holding mine. We settled back into our seats, resuming our drinks and letting the music wash over us while he rested his hand on my leg, right between my knee and hip. Slowly, Adrian’s touch grew more intimate, inching closer until he was nearly brushing against me and had his hand on my cock as it began getting hard. At that moment, Adrian leaned in, offering me a soft, tender kiss on the lips and quietly told me, “Tony, I think you are the sexiest man in the bar—aside from myself, of course.”
After we sat at our bar table talking for close to half an hour, Adrian held my hand, his gaze locked with mine as he spoke softly and intimately as he told me, “I am beginning to fall in love with you Tony.” Suddenly, the opening chords of “Let’s Get It On” filled the room, the slow, sultry rhythm casting a sensual mood over the bar. Without asking, Adrian stood up and gently tugged my hand, leading me onto the dance floor.
While we moved together onto the dance floor, Adrian pulled me in closer, his arms wrapped securely around me. He whispered in my ear, “I feel as though I could truly fall in love with you Tony, you are the sexiest man I have ever met.” Adrian admitted, “Even though we are of different races—me being Black and you being White—it makes no difference to me. I am attracted to you in a way I have never felt for a man before, captivated by both your appearance and your spirit. I confess that I want to know you deeply, both inside and out.”
Adrian’s words sent a flutter of sexual excitement through me through his words and his motions as he held me as we danced.
Adrian continued to hold me close as the song played out, keeping our bodies pressed together. Adrian worked his hands inside my pants and underwear as he held and fondled each of my butt cheeks in his hands and deep passionate tongue kissed me as we danced until the final note faded into the background. As the music ended, he leaned in and gave me a gentle, meaningful kiss, then intertwined his fingers with mine after he released my ass from his hands. Together, we walked back to our table, settling in so close to each other that it felt as though we were sharing the same seat, barely any space between us as we basked in the warmth of the moment holding each other with an arm around each other’s waist.
As the evening wore on, I started feeling the need to step away for a moment, so I leaned over and asked Adrian, “Could you stay and watch our table while I go to the men’s bathroom?”
Adrian nodded with a reassuring smile, promising to keep our spot safe. I made my way into the men's bathroom, grateful for the brief respite to go pee and the chance to freshen up.
To my surprise, as I had my cock out taking a pee in the urinal, Adrian followed me inside the Men’s bathroom, closing and locking the bathroom door behind us as he entered. We found ourselves alone together, the quiet of the restroom contrasting with the lively music outside. Adrian approached me gently, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me close, deepening the intimacy between us. His warm presence was comforting as we shared a private, tender moment away from the crowd.
Adrian held my cock in his hand as I was peeing, and he shook the pee from my cock as I finished peeing until it was fully dry as he kissed and tongued my mouth as I turned my head to kiss him.
I could feel my cock getting hard as Adrian held me close in the quiet of the restroom. I could feel the intimacy and desire between us growing. I turned around facing Adrian with my cock still out and in his hand, holding him as he looked deep into my eyes and, with a gentle touch, asked if I felt as connected to him as he did to me as my cock was growing hard in his hand.
I responded with a tender kiss, letting him know that at that moment, “Adrian, every part of my body belonged to you, and I hope you feel the same way.”
Adrian smiled warmly and assured me, “We both belong to each other tonight, Tony.”
I could feel my cock getting hard within his hand and Adrian asked me, “Does this beautiful cock of yours belonged to me Tony?”
I gave Adrian a sweet kiss and told him, “Absolutely yes Adrian, we both belong to each other tonight. You can do anything you want with me tonight sexually as I my entire body fully belongs to you. You can do anything you wish with me with it sexually. I only hope you will let me do the same with your body as well.”
Adrian said, "Absolutely Tony, " before he gave me a deep passionate kiss, got down on his knees and began sucking my cock slow and deep into his mouth and throat until I had an orgasm that topped any orgasm that I ever had as I came deeply in his mouth and throat. After my semen stopped flowing into Adrian’s mouth, he swallowed cum in his mouth and he got up, held me close and said, “I am falling in love with you Tony, how would you feel about joining me to ‘Make Love with you’ at my farmhouse out of town?”
I gave Adrian a kiss and told him, “I would enjoy us going to your place and making love with each other when we are both fully naked, skin on skin through all of it. Two of us attractive men enjoying our gay sexual intimacy with loving sexual intercourse together at your home.”
After I zipped and buttoned my pants, Adrian gave me a subtle kiss as he held my hand and softly said, “Well honey, let us go to your car, since I do not have a ride. I will give you directions and we will head to my farmhouse out of town to make love to each other.” Adrian looked into my eyes and asked, “Are you sure you are OK with this Tony?”
I squeezed Adrian’s hand and assured him, “Absolutely, honey. I can hardly wait for us to take this further—you are sexy sweetheart.”
Adrian pressed close against me, his warmth radiating as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders while I navigated the winding country roads. The quiet outside the car was a stark contrast to the anticipation building between us as Adrian held and kissed me as I drove. When we arrived at Adrian’s farmhouse, Adrian got out, walked around to my side of the car, and opened the door for me with a loving smile. He kissed me gently after I got out of the car and closed the car door before taking my hand and guiding me into his cozy home.
The farmhouse was charming and inviting, filled with the comforting scent of fresh wood and the subtle warmth of old memories. Adrian moved to the fireplace, stacking logs and lighting a fire that soon crackled and filled the room with a soft, golden glow. We settled on the rug in front of the fireplace, holding each other close, exchanging slow kisses as the flames danced and painted flickering shadows on the walls.
Adrian smiled deeply, his eyes reflecting the warm glow of the fire and the sincerity in his heart. He softly brushed his fingers along my cheek and whispered, “It is more than OK, honey. I want to share everything with you—my body, my heart, and my soul. Tonight is ours.” As we melted into each other’s arms, the closeness between us grew stronger, wrapping us in a sense of comfort, excitement, and belonging. The gentle crackle of the fireplace set the rhythm for our slow, enthusiastic exploration, each touch and embrace affirming the love blossoming between us.
We took each other's clothes off and enjoyed the passion of holding each other while fully naked, skin on skin, as we continued to passionately kiss each other. Adrian rubbed his KY Jelly on his ass and my cock for lubrication before sitting on my hardened cock to take it all in slowly and moaning as he took my cock deep into his ass. Adrian began to ride my cock while looking into my eyes as I was lying on my back and looking into his eyes as I held his legs until I felt my cock ready to explode with cum deep inside Adrian’s beautiful ass and told him loudly, “I am ready to cum inside your ass Adrian.” Adrian pressed his ass deep onto my cock as I could feel the explosive orgasm of my semen flowing deep inside of him.
When my semen finished flowing inside Adrian's ass, he got up with my cock coming out of his ass, laid next to my on the blanket holding me and laying his head on my chest. Adrian gave me a slow and deep passionate kiss as we held each other. Adrian smiled, his affection unmistakable, and shifted his position so that our bodies aligned perfectly. With gentle confidence, he began to explore my body, cherishing every touch and sensation as he made love to me. The warmth and closeness between us deepened. I felt completely open and cherished in his arms, grateful for our shared intimacy and connection.
Adrian slowly turned me over onto my stomach and put lubrication on my asshole and his cock and began to fingerfuck my ass with two fingers to loosen my ass before he worked his 8-inch cock deep inside my ass to fuck me slow and passionately. Adrian held my body close to tongue and kiss me as I turned my head as he continued to work through the motions until I could feel his dick throbbing inside my ass preparing to explode with semen deep inside my ass when I told Adrian, “I want you to cum deep inside my ass so I can feel your semen flowing deep inside my ass. I want you to keep your enormous cock deep inside my ass as you are cumming inside my ass. I want you to keep your cock inside my ass when you finish cumming deep inside of my ass so I can enjoy feeling your cock inside of me as we continue making out afterwards Adrian. I am beginning to fall in love with you Adrian.”
Adrian screamed, “Yes, baby yes, I’m Cumming.” I could feel his cock exploding in my ass as he rammed it as deep inside my ass as he could. I felt his enormous cock pulsating as Adrian released more of his semen deep inside my gut as I used my ass muscle to milk every drop of cum out of his cock.
As Adrian came, I kept saying, “Fuck me Adrian, fuck me harder and deeper, fuck my ass until you cannot fuck anymore and have no more cum to give my ass while you are fucking me. I want you to fuck my ass like it was your girlfriend’s pussy and you want to get me pregnant. Make me your gay girlfriend and fuck my ass so hard and filling my ass so full of cum you get me pregnant so I can carry you babies Adrian” It encouraged Adrian to keep going and jamming his cock deep into my ass until he finished cumming deep inside my ass.
After Adrian and I had shared our intimate experience, he quietly confided in me while his cock remained deep inside my ass, “Tony, you are the first man I have ever been with sexually having gay oral and anal sex. What we shared was more fulfilling than anything I have previously experienced with a woman sexually. You have turned me from having curiosity of having gay sex with a man to officially turning me gay as much as I enjoyed having gay sex with you Tony.”
I gently reassured Adrian, letting him know, “There is no reason to feel uneasy, as our connection was deeply meaningful for both of us.” In that moment, I also told Adrian, “You was the first black man I have ever made love to, and I truly treasured every second of our time together sharing our sexual intimacy and making love to each other. The sex we had together tonight as a gay couple has been the best sex I have had with any man in the past since the times I had gay sex with a man for the first time with my first gay boyfriend James. The sex we had together was better than any sex I have ever had with any women to include my girlfriend and fiancée Nessa, the 33-year-old African American big beautiful black woman I am currently living with. I would leave her and move in with a man and live together as a gay couple if I found a man good enough to be with in a long-term committed gay relationship as much as I enjoy having sex with men and find men to be more attractive to me than women.”
Adrian kept his cock inside my ass, and he held me as we remained naked. Adrian told me, “I am falling in love with you Tony. I loved the sex we had together as we were making love as a gay couple more than I enjoyed having sex with women just like you. As much as I enjoyed having sex with you, I might one day decide to ask you to move in with me so we can enjoy having gay sex with each other daily, multiple time each day Tony.” Adrian held me close with his cock remaining deep inside my ass and he kissed me as we drifted off to sleep after making out with each other for twenty minutes.
The following morning, Adrian woke me up laying on top of me and deep kissing me as I could feel his cock getting hard against mine. Before I knew it Adrian spit on his hand and rubbed it on my asshole to loosen it before he lifted my legs over his shoulders with my legs spread as he slid his cock deep inside my ass. As Adrian worked all 8-inches of his cock deep into my ass he leaned in and held my shoulders as I held his forearms as he fucked me slow and deep. As Adrian fucked me, I moaned and kept saying, "Fuck me baby, fuck me deep, fuck me harder, my ass belongs to you. I love having your massive cock deep in my ass, my ass belongs to you Adrian, do not stop fucking me." I continued repeating myself until I could feel his cock throbbing deep inside of my ass as he was getting ready to cum deep inside me. When Adrian's cock exploded as he came inside my ass, I could feel the semen gushing deep inside my guts as I used my ass muscles to milk all of it from his cock until the semen stopped flowing.
After Adrian finished his orgasm cumming deep inside my ass I had an anal orgasm of my own shooting cum from my hard cock all over my stomach from Adrian’s cock rubbing against my prostate continually as he fucked me hard and deep. After both of us finished cumming Adrian let my legs down and stayed in between my legs with his cock inside my ass. We held and deep kissed each other for twenty minutes before I had to clean the dripping cum from my ass at his bathroom sink with a washcloth since there was no shower in the bathroom and only a bathtub. I took my clothes off the living room floor and put my clothes on to drive home as Adrian watched me dress while he lay naked on the floor.
After I put my clothes on Adrian asked, “Would you want to meet me in town to make love and have sex with me again as a gay couple with me later this week? I want to make love to you again Tony. Making love and fucking your ass is better than the pussy of any woman I have ever been with and fucked in the past. I want to enjoy the chance of gay anal fucking you again Tony. I loved every moment making out and fucking you Tony and I want us to do it again.”
I told Adrian, “I would love to, my anal pussy and the rest of my body still belong to you to do as you wish with me sexually in any way you desire Adrian. I enjoy making love with you.”
Adrian wrote down the address with the date and time for me to meet him at a Trophy Shop that was downtown owned by his gay Uncle Chuck that I would one day meet and make love to myself in the future. Adrian told me, “After you arrive at my Uncle Chuck’s Trophy Shop park your car in the back alley and come in the back door of the Trophy Shop where I work for my uncle and knock on the back door. I will meet you at the back door and unlock it and let you inside the Trophy Shop and lead you to a spot I will have prepared for us to make love as a gay couple Tony.” Adrian finished gave me a hug and a deep kiss and told me, “When you come into the Trophy Shop you will find me waiting for you naked when I meet you at the back door. I will have a spot on the floor prepared and waiting for you to make love with me when you get there. I cannot wait for us to make love again so I can fuck your beautiful ass again Tony, I love you.”
I then gave him a kiss back and told Adrian, “My anal pussy will be ready for you to fuck me in the ass when I get there. I grabbed Adrian’s ass and gave him a deep kiss as we held hands and walked to my car while Adrian was still naked. After I got inside the car on the driver’s side after looking at Adrian’s beautiful eighth inch cock on the other side of the driver’s side window when I rolled the window down and reach out the window to hold Adrian’s cock in my hand and began stroking his cock in my hand as Adrian leaned down to kiss me threw the driver’s side window. I felt Adrian’s cock getting hard when I looked into his eyes and asked, “Adrian, would you mind if I sucked your cock before I leave? I just do not seem to get enough of your beautiful cock.”
Adrian said, “Yes Tony, you can have my cock any time you want. I am sure I will love having my cock in you mouth as much as I love having it deep in your ass Tony.”
I gave Adrian a kiss before I pulled his cock over to the driver’s side window as I leaned to the window and started licking on the head of his beautiful eight inch cock before I put the head of Adrian’s beautiful cock and begun tonguing the head of it as I sucked it as I got on my knees facing Adrian’s cock. I stuck my head out of the car window and began bobbing my head on Adrian’s cock as I held his butt cheeks in both of my hands and pulled him closer to the driver’s side window so I could suck his cock deeper. I had my lips at the base of his cock and balls when Adrian held my head and pulled it all the way down on his cock as he began cumming down my throat and in my mouth as I began gagging on his cock. My eyes began to bulge getting red and watery as slobber and cum was beginning you come out of my mouth getting on my face and chin as it dripped on the outer side of the driver’s door of my car until Adrian finished cumming and pulled his cock out of my mouth after I began choking on it.
Adrian leaned down to give me a kiss with his tongue deep in my mouth with slobber and cum on my face that he licked off and swallowed it until my face was clear of most of it before I Told Adrian, “I love you Adrian, but I better get going so I can wash the slobber and cum of the driver’s door on my car at the local drive through car wash before I head for home so Nessa and the neighbors at the apartment complex do not figure out what is going on. I do not want to get kicked out of the apartment when I do not have a place to go and a man to move in with a gay lover and sex partner.
Adrian said, “I understand Tony. I will look forward to seeing you later at my Uncle Chuck’s Trophy Shop.” Adrian gave me one last kiss before I left and watched me as I drove off to head home.
We found ourselves drawn together intimately just once more in our brief gay sexual encounter not knowing I would not see Adrian again for another six years afterward. I arrived at the Trophy Shop later that week at the time, date, and address Adrian provided me to meet him there. I came in the back door and knocked on the door to see Adrian come to let me in the back door while he was naked and waiting for me with his massive cock hard and throbbing as I walked in. Adrian took me by the hand and led me in before he began laying naked on the linoleum floor in front of me.
Adrian told me, “You need to get naked so we can fuck since my cock is hard and ready for your anal pussy. We need to finish having sex and get out of the shop within 25 minutes or the security alarms that were set on a timer by his uncle will go off and the police would have to come to the Trophy Shop. We only have time for an anal quickie before we both must leave Tony. I am going to enjoy fucking your beautiful ass again in the brief time we have.”
I felt a little awkward about the situation but then said, “OK Adrian, let us do this in the little time we have to make love with each other so you can breed me quickly before we have to go.” I undressed quickly while placing my clothes and shoes onto a pile next to Adrian's pile of clothes and laid naked on the floor on my stomach for Adrian to get on top of me for a quickie fucking my ass.
Adrian spat on his hand and rubbed his hand on my asshole to moisten it before he shoved his massive cock into my ass without fingering me to make sure my asshole was moist and loosened for him to fuck. Adrian rammed his massive cock deep inside my ass to fuck me hard and deep. My asshole was hurting when Adrian jammed his cock deep inside of my ass so fast as I moaned in pain and yelled at Adrian, “You are hurting me Adrian, as big as your massive cock is you did not need to slam it in my ass so hard and deep to make it hurt. I like it better slow and deep to start when men are fucking my ass, Adrian.” For the first few minutes until my ass had adjusted itself to fit on Adrian's enormous cock Adrian fucked my ass slowly and deep as I asked. As my ass adjusted for Adrian’s cock to fuck me hard and deep, I began moaning with enjoyment and gay sexual pleasure. I began begging for his cock as he fucked me. I told Adrian, “My anal pussy is yours Adrian, I want all of your throbbing cock deep in my anal pussy, my anal pussy is yours, fuck my anal pussy hard and deep, cum deep inside my anal pussy Adrian, my anal pussy is yours so you can fuck me like the gay bottom bitch I am as you fill my ass full of your semen." Before I knew it, I could feel Adrian's cock throbbing as he was ready to cum deep inside of my ass. I could feel his cock explode with cum inside of my ass while I used my anal muscles to milk all the cum out of his cock until he finished cumming.
Adrian enjoyed fucking me so much that shortly after he came deep inside my ass he told me, “I love you Tony and I’m ready to fuck your beautiful ass again you gay bottom bitch. You call yourself a gay bottom bitch has me turned on and I would love to use you as my beautiful and attractive gay whore.” Adrian held me tight as he continued fucking my ass deep and hard.
I moaned with sexual pleasure loudly as I told Adrian, “Oh yes baby, I love being your gay bottom bitch for you to fuck as much as you want making a gay whore out of me. I love the feeling of your massive cock deep in my ass while you are fucking me like your little gay bottom bitch. I can feel you cum in my anal pussy already and I am ready for you to fill my ass with more of your cum to leave my ass dripping with your cum like the gay bottom slut you have turned me into Adrian.” Time flew by so fast before Adrian came deep inside my ass filling my ass with so much cum, I could already feel it leaking from my ass as he was fucking me.
Next thing I knew Adrian said, “We only have a minute to get out of here and lock the door before the alarms go off so we need to get up and get out of here now.”
Adrian grabbed our clothes and shoes and both of us walked naked into the back alley behind a trash dumpster that was closed after he locked the back door to the trophy shop. Adrian placed our clothes and shoes on the top of the trash dumpster and held and kissed me as we held each other naked behind the trash dumpster. When Adrian’s cock got hard again when he turned me around facing the dumpster and worked his cock back inside my ass that was cum filled and began fucking my ass hard and deep while I could see the red light of a camera in the back alley recording us and cars driving by the end of the alley. Adrian was fucking the shit out of my ass as I leaned forward holding on to the trash dumpster moaning with gay anal sexual pleasure.
I held on to the trash dumpster as Adrian was fucking my ass hard and deep and used my right hand to hold my cock and jack myself off as Adrian was fucking my ass hard and deep behind the dumpster when I said, “Adrian, I love the way your cock is feeling deep inside my ass while you are fucking me, I can feel your cock is ready to cum deep inside me as it is getting ready to explode deep inside my ass. Do not cum in my ass yet until I finish jacking off and cum myself. Do not stop fucking my ass Adrian, I am ready to cum.” As my cock exploded, shooting cum down onto the pavement Adrian cam deep inside my ass as a car drove by us slowly through the back alley as Adrian was holding my hips from behind and cumming deep inside my ass as I used my ass muscles to milk all of the cum out of his cock. I leaned down and rubbed cum off the end of my cock with my hand and licked cum off my hand and swallowed it as Adrian waved his hand at the car that was passing by like he knew who was driving the car. Adrian’s cum was beginning to drip out of my ass again while his cock was still inside my ass until the car finished passing at the end of the back alley and he pulled his cock out of my ass.
Adrian threw on his sweatpants, shirt, and shoes then handed me my clothes to dress in the back alley behind the Trophy Shop. Adrian gave me a quick kiss before he got in his car and left while I was standing naked with his cum dripping out of my ass as he left me behind the trash dumpster by myself as he drove away without saying goodbye. I stood there naked feeling degraded by Adrian, the same way I felt from Dave fucking me in a men's bathroom on the college campus like a cheap gay anal whore and then taking off on me so quick without caring about me for anything but a quick piece of ass to fuck from an easy gay anal whore that I was once again willfully turned into. It felt so strange dressing in a back alley behind a trash dumpster while feeling the cum dripping down my leg as I stood there waiting until everything was quiet before I put my clothes on, not knowing if anybody might be able to see me standing there naked while doing so. I drove home feeling like a quick and easy gay slut and whore as I could feel Adrian’s cum draining into my underwear and soaking into my pants creating a cum stain on my pants that smelled like someone had just been anally fucked as I drove back to my apartment.
It became more embarrassing as I walked by the pool party that was going on while walking to my apartment when I straight couple walked by me and saw the back of my pants were wet and stained with cum. I am sure they could smell the cum and picked up the scent of anal sex between gay men that I was able to smell when they laughed and said, “Well, I guess that little faggot got fucked by another man or two like a gay whore tonight with all the cum he has coming out of his ass smelling like they fucked the shit out of his ass.” I walked by them to the front door of my apartment, sneaking in to take a shower and change clothes quietly to avoid waking Veronica and her daughters when I got home so they would not figure out I had been turned into a gay bottom whore that was cheating on Veronica with other gay men. It made me feel like I turned into the gay whore who had become a quick and easy piece of ass for men to fuck and go as the slutty gay bottom whore I had become.
The memories of those moments remained special from our first interracial gay sexual encounter, but degrading during our second gay sexual experience that seemed a little embarrassing and was not addressed and accepted until we met again at the same local gay bar we had originally met at while I was on a date with my gay black boyfriend Reggie I had begun dating six years later. Adrian and I eventually shared our personal and sexual closeness again as an interracial gay couple when I could no longer resist my gay sexual attraction to him.
