The Book of the Blue House

With a lightness of heart Conn went to serve in the Sanctuary. It was not like that simple lust with which he and Derek had taken each other the first time, or like he had taken Lorne one morning in winter. Or maybe it was, because lust and desire were sacred. Conn did not go to the Blue Rooms. No matter what amyone said, these felt like prostitution. He went to the offering rooms in the sanctuary to sit in those chambers and wait for whatever devotee in prayer or supplication or thanksgiving came to him in the dark. In those encounters he felt taken over by the God, loved by God and becoming the God of Love, overwhelmed by compassion, by love and by lust. In the Offering Rooms, he was amazed by the spilling of his seed, the flying open of hands, humbled by the nakedess of himself and his lover, the end of separation where they were no longer whoever they were, but two simple souls and then the one soul. And he was devout bathing in the pools when it was done. Unlike Derek, who attended three days, Conn returned ot the mystery every day, for it was a mystery, and he remained the whole morning and came to lunch feeling joyous and sated, yes, but quiet and subdued. Now he and Derek had other things to talk about. Now they could talk about their work on another level, and Matt had changed too. He had come into all of his beauty, shining and fierce, strong with a deep and mighty laugh to match the bright and wolfish smile. Conn was thinking about all of this when the winter ended and the first birds of spring could be heard. He was thinking these things when he entered the sanctuary and saw, sitting in the middle of the floor, prayer beads in hands, considerably thinner than they had been and both robed in blue, hoods down, the copper and dark red heads of Calon Everidon and Gabriel Rokamont.

“You boys won’t believe how glad we are to be back!” Gabriel enthused.

On one hand, Conn thought that he could completely believe it because Gabriel looked like a child and Cal looked more relieved than anything. But they were changed, as Matteo whispered. Conn felt foolish thinking how handsome Cal was, his cheeks hollowed his greenish eyes burning in the shadows that had not been around them, two days growth of beard on his usually clean shaven cheeks.

“I need a bath and to not come out of it for about a week,” Cal had said.

Nialla, beside her husband, had not been able to be polite any longer.

“Where is Sara? And what of Theo?”

“They were with us originally,” Cal said, “and damn was I angry. But we were a day past Rutupiae, and there was nothing to do but accept it. When we got down south to the Sussail border we were split up. They were sent to Chyr, Theo to fight and Sara to attend the wounded.”

“But eventually even we were split up,” Gabriel said, gesturing to Cal.

“Would you believe there was a high priest from Chyr?” Cal began, “One of ours? When he found out Gabriel was third grade he commandeered—asked—commandered, I’m still not sure, him to come with four others toward Sussail.”

“It had to do with my temple,” Gabriel said, “the one I grew up in. It was a daughterhouse of his—the priest Moryan, and he asked me to come and help there. And I did. For a while, but in the end I just ended up on a different front, in Zahem when we had crossed the border after Anson won the battle at the Pass.”

“That’s where we met again,” Cal said, overjoyed. He clutched Gabriel’s hand. “I was such a fool. I had vowed to stay with Anson, but once we were separated, all I could think of was where you were, what had happened to you.”

“But Sara,” Gabriel said, soberly, “we did not hear from.”

“We assume,” Cal said, stoutly, “that she and Theo are perfectly safe in Chyr where very little fighting took place.”

But they were not sure and they did not assume this, and it was when Nialla said she had received a letter from Sara a fortnight ago that they both relaxed and took a visible breath.

“I know she is on her way back, with Theo,” Nialla said. “I just had hoped she would be coming with you. How nice would that have been?”