Losing My Religion

Zach’s story - 2

It was Thanksgiving morning, and I woke up in Arizona at Seth’s house, spooning him in his own bed. The day before had been a huge eye-opener for me, not to mention the fact that I was hornier than I had ever been. The things I saw at The Resort amazed me, and I learned that I am apparently a “twunk,” which according to Seth is a twink with muscles (he convinced me it was a good thing).

Seth’s world was so different from mine, but amazing to me. On the one hand he had this incredible “village” of people who loved him and rallied around him no matter what. On the other hand, there was this sexually charged universe with hot (and apparently randomly naked) gay guys everywhere. I don’t know how Seth handled it. Seriously, if I were him, I would’ve spent the last three years with a constant boner!

Seth woke up, rolled over, and faced me. “Good morning” I said and kissed him.

“Zach Hall and home. My two favorite things in one place, it’s gonna be a good day” Seth said kissing me back. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good, but damn, I’ve been lying here thinking about everything I saw yesterday.” I answered as Seth flashed me a mischievous grin. “You must’ve been hard for the past three years” I joked.

Seth laughed out loud “you get used to the nudity. Hey, I’m gonna talk Scotty into getting us day passes to The Resort so we can hang out in the spa either tomorrow or Saturday. What do you think?”

My cock sprung to attention as thoughts of naked daddies ran through my head, I’m sure Seth felt it. “Seth, I’ve never done anything like that. I mean… shit, I was hard just walking through that place.”

Seth laughed again, “if you’re hard, you’ll just grab more attention.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of” I retorted.

“I have been begging those guys to let me go to The Resort ever since I turned eighteen. I think it would be fun just to hang out and people watch.” Seth said excitedly still laying on his side looking into my eyes. I had been learning that my shy, church-going boyfriend had a sexual beast within that was growling to be freed, and I loved the fact that I seemed to be the recipient of its wrath. Each step… each sexual awakening… each experiment was shared with me and opened new doors for us. As I thought back on our relationship, I realized that Seth was really leading the sexual part of this journey and I was along for the ride. I mean, I made the first move, but he cleared the path by making it comfortable for me. It made total sense that he would lead since he had come to terms with his sexuality way before I did. The nice thing about it was that he didn’t force me into everything. We discussed things, and when he knew I was comfortable he’d push a little further… at no point did I feel like I couldn’t stop the train. Even when we lost our virginity. We had talked about having a romantic night, but HE made it happen. I was definitely ready, but not sure how to go about it then he surprised me with a hotel room. I felt so at ease, everything felt so right. I could’ve said no but didn’t want to. Now, we were talking about something a little more hardcore.

“I don’t know, Seth. This is hardcore. I mean those guys were fucking leering at us. They wanted us” I said.

“I know!” He responded excitedly “But that doesn’t mean they get us. We get to decide, and we can say no. I just want to see what goes on; I’ve been so curious for three years. But if you’re not ready that’s totally cool. I know I just kind of sprung it on you.”

I really wanted to do this, I was just self-conscious, and frankly a bit intimidated. And what if I had a boner the whole time (which I assumed I would)?! I mean, some of the guys were stroking themselves, but I found them to be a little creepy. I didn’t want to be the creepy guy!!!! And what if we did have the opportunity to experiment with another guy, or maybe more than one… would we do it? SHOULD we do it? This was ‘next level’ shit, and we were just beginners.

Seth grabbed my unignorable hardon and started to stroke me “We can talk about it later, we only have a few minutes before we have to get up, shower, and head over to Kevin and Randy’s place, and I want to stop and see Cam before we leave. He moved his face close to mine, then slid down and started to give me a morning BJ. What a fucking way to wake up. I rolled onto my back with my hands behind my head as I reveled in the sensations Seth’s familiar mouth was giving me. He moved his head up and down on my shaft slowly and his tongue deliberately licked around it as he did. His right hand followed his mouth up and down my manhood, while his left grabbed and pulled my balls, and he tapped his middle finger on my virgin hole, teasing me and driving me mad!

I had fucked him for the first time just over a week ago and had been fantasizing about him fucking me for the first time ever since. However, I didn’t have the guts to try it yet. Meanwhile, any type of ass play seemed to put me in a frenzy and Seth knew it, so he engaged my hole as often as he could, the little bastard. God, I loved him! I was about to shoot when Seth moved down and started eating my ass. I loved it! As his warm, moist tongue probed my tight pucker his hand continued to stroke and tease my blood engorged cock. It only took a few minutes before I was ready to cum. I started to moan loudly when Seth reached up with his free hand and covered my mouth as he looked up at me and smiled. I forgot his brothers were just down the hall. Between his hand and my efforts to muffle my screams of pleasure, I came almost silently as my body convulsed and Seth greedily swallowed the evidence.

Seth moved up and kissed me, I could taste my own cum (something that grossed me out just a week or two prior). “We gotta get rolling, you can pay me back in the shower” He said pulling me up and throwing me my shorts. We headed down the hallway to the bathroom together and jumped in the shower. I immediately dropped to my knees and took his full, rigid manhood all the way down my throat. He started pumping my face as his hands held my head still, I shoved a finger up his soapy hole and that was it… I got my reward. He shot spurt after spurt down my throat and I eagerly swallowed every drop. When he was done, I continued to hold his cock in my mouth, working it and tonguing it clean. After I released him, I stood, and we kissed under the warm water. We quickly cleaned up, dried off, and dressed. Right before we went into the kitchen. I said "Okay, Seth. I'm up for it. Let's go to The Resort." He got that shit-eating grin, kissed me and we headed to the kitchen.

All of Seth’s brothers were there, Eli, Brian, Brad, and Scotty, cooking together. Seth jumped in beside them and started to work, they all seemed to know what to do. I looked over at Seth and asked, “Where do you want me?”

Scotty answered, “over there, we’ll start you off easy” He pointed to a loaf of bread and some butter sitting next to a four-slice toaster. I went to work as everyone engaged in conversation. These guys weren’t just brothers they were friends, and within minutes I felt like one of them. They talked about their family and friends, Seth would fill in any blanks about who was who for me and soon things began to click, and I felt like I knew them all. After breakfast Seth and I walked over to see his friend Cam who lived just a few doors down. Seth was excited for us to meet.

When we got there, Cam’s mom, Anne met us at the door. “SETH! I’m so glad to see you, we’ve missed you around here” she said as she threw her arms around my boyfriend. “It’s been so quiet around here without you boys.” Then she looked at me and said “You must be Zach, Brad and Scotty have told us so much about you. We’re all happy you’re here. Kev invited us for cocktails and dessert tonight after we get home from my mother’s. I thought we’d have to wait until then to see you.” She said as she invited us in and went to the kitchen to get Cam, he had come in on the red eye just a few hours before and hadn’t slept yet.

Seth lit up as Cam entered the room slowly, with a stoic look on his face. He was hot! Bigger than he looked in his pictures, but extremely good looking. Seth’s face turned to one of concern as he ran to his friend and hugged him. Cam looked over Seth’s shoulder and smiled at me as a tear ran down his face. No words were spoken as the two old friends embraced for a long time. Seth described Cam as a positive, happy guy with a sparkle in his eye… that’s not what I was seeing. Cam was clearly depressed, but he seemed happy to see his old friend. When the two finally released each other, we sat and talked for a while. Cam was lovable, but sad. His new life in Chicago wasn’t what he had hoped, and it seemed to be eating away at the poor guy. After about twenty minutes or so we left, and Cam went off to bed. We promised to hang out together later that weekend.

On the way back to the house I could tell Seth was upset. “He gained like twenty pounds” he said concerned. “I mean, it looks great on him, he was always a little skinny, but he seems so damn sad.” We talked more about it as we walked, and I could hear the concern and caring in his voice. When we got back to the house Seth told his brothers about Cam. He also told them how Cam avoids his calls, and that he had told him he hated school.

“Anne told us he hates it there, but they want him to try it for a year before he gives up” Brad said.

Brian spoke up next, he was friends with Cam’s brother “Dane has only talked to him twice since he moved, he won’t take his calls. He said his roommate’s a dick and just makes his life miserable.”

“He told me that he hates college and wants to go to trade school” Seth said. “Something is seriously wrong with him… he’s not Cam. I’m going to spend time with him while he’s here.”

“I think that’s a good idea” Brad said as we started to pack up the cars and head to Kevin’s.

Brad and Scotty took one car, while the rest of us piled into Eli’s Bronco. The trip over with Brian and Eli was fun, they gave me a lot of shit, especially Eli. “I knew you were toast the second I met you at the dorms” he said to me. “The way Seth looked at you… you didn’t stand a chance you poor bastard.” We all laughed as we pulled up to the mid-century modern ranch for the second time this trip.

The place was a hive of activity and smelled incredible. When we walked into the house Matty attacked Seth, jumping in his arms, and screaming his name again as everyone said their hellos, commented on how great it smelled and jumped in to help. Again, they all instinctively knew what to do. Baby Scotty was in his highchair and reach out for me as I walked past, I bent down and talked to him, he giggled and grabbed my nose with his food covered hands, he was so damn cute. When I stood up, I looked at Kev and asked, “Where do you want me?”

Without hesitation he handed me a potato masher and pointed me to a huge pot of steaming potatoes “mash those with this, then put them in the mixer and add all that” he said pointed at a bottle of milk and some soft butter sitting on the counter.” He assigned me a job I knew how to do. “When you’re done you can split them up into those four pans” he said as a pointed again. I went to work, again they all laughed and talked.

As we worked more people came in carrying food. Mauricio and Jordy, two of the guys I met at The Resort were carrying cooked turkeys. Mauricio, the most flamboyant of all the people I’d met made a grand entrance yelling “Hey guuurrrrls, we’re here! Where should I put my friend Tommy here” He said referring to the turkey he was carrying, Kevin had a staging are set up on the dining room table where he designated what food went to which house, he was very organized. He led the two men to the table. As he did that, I mashed potatoes, Seth made rolls from scratch with Jordy, Eli was making four vegetable casseroles, Brian was making salads, Mauricio was working on desserts, etc. Everyone had a job. Three more hot guys walked in the door and introduced themselves to me as Alex, Adam, and Matty. The house was bursting at the seams with hot food and hot men!

I felt so comfortable there. They seemed to accept me without question and treated me like part of their family. I could totally see why A.) Seth missed it here, and B.) he was the kind, caring guy I was falling in love with. He grew up in an environment where there was no such thing as a stranger or an outcast. Everyone was accepted for who they were, not judged for it.

It was between eleven and twelve o’clock when Randy put the biggest turkey in the oven, and Kevin rallied everyone around and split them into groups. Each group went to deliver one of the meals. We went with Randy, Kevin, and their boys to the home of a gay couple in their 90’s, Bruce, and Michael. We loaded the feast into the back of the Range Rover, then Seth and I squeezed into the backseat between Matty and Scotty. We were only in the car about ten minutes before we stopped in front of a cute, older house that looked a lot like Brad and Scotty’s place, but a little more rundown, and not as nicely kept. The place needed some work, and the grass in the tiny yard was a little long.

As we started unloading the food and the babies Bruce and Michael emerged from the house and stood by the door greeting us. Randy took the kids, and the rest of us took the food and we entered the house. The two old men oo’d and ah’d over the babies (whom they had obviously met before) as Kevin and Randy busied themselves in the kitchen warming all the food. When I got up to help in the kitchen Bruce asked me to stay and talk. They had a million questions for me and Seth about school and how we met, then they told us about how they had met in the 1950’s and shared stories about their life together. Oh my god, they had gone through so much just to be together. We had it so easy. As I listened to everything they endured, the love, the fear of getting caught, the possible consequences, etc. I couldn’t help but think about my dad and I understood why he chose what he did. I mean, my dad had way more options than these guys, but it was still difficult and scary.

There I was in a house with basically three generations of gay couples. Each with different challenges over the years, but each generation seemingly having it easier than the previous. I looked over at Seth and thought Fuck we have it easy. Our only real barrier has been my own fear and hang-ups. Then I looked at the two little guys entertaining the old men and thought ‘maybe by the time they grow up sexuality will no longer an issue. Wouldn’t it be awesome if when they grew up, coming out was no longer a thing? Everyone could just be who they were, no questions asked.’

Kev and Randy came back into the room and joined the conversation. I snapped a pic of the eight of us to send to mom, then an odd thought crossed my mind and I blurted out “Do you guys want me to mow the lawn while you all talk?” Seth looked at me in surprise, then smiled.

Bruce jumped on the offer “That would be wonderful, I’ve been trying to get out there for a week but it’s so damn hot.”

“Michael added “If you’re serious, the mower is in the garage, but you don’t need to do that. You can just stay here and talk.”

“It won’t take long, and the weather’s perfect” I said. Kev and Randy smiled and nodded at me.

“I’ll help” Seth said as we got up and went out the garage. He kissed me on the cheek and gave me a smile with this look of, I don’t know maybe pride, on his face. We tackled the tiny war in about a half hour. We noticed a loose gutter and some other little things that we could fix quickly, so we did. When we got back into the house, I rattled off the list of what we did and asked if there was anything else they needed help with. We ended up changing a couple of light bulbs and the AC filter. All just little stuff that they had been avoiding. After another half hour or so, Kevin and randy took the food out of the oven and set the table for the older couple. “Dinner’s ready” Kev said “We’re going to leave you two to eat. Everything is set up on the counter, All you have to do it put the foil on the leftovers and put them away. I left reheating instructions on the refrigerator.”

The couple walked us out to the driveway as we loaded back into Kev’s vehicle and thank us profusely. Bruce walked up to the gutter we had fixed and inspected out handy work as Michael looked at the freshly mown and trimmed lawn. “Thank you, boys, for everything” Bruce said. “And tell Mauricio and Darren, we’ll see them after church on Sunday for coffee. HAPPY THANKSGIVING” They waved to us as we drove away, then they headed back into the house.

“That was really nice of you guys” Kev said.

“It was all Zach; I was just following his lead” Seth said giving me the credit.

“How do you know those guys?” I asked trying to piece this expansive village of gays together.

“They’re just a couple we met at Jordy’s café a year or two ago. They’ve been together for 70 years, can you freaking believe that?!” Randy said making eye contact with me from the driver seat in the rearview mirror. “We all kind of adopted them. Sadly, most of their family abandon them decades ago and have long since died. They have a couple of nieces in the Midwest who come out to see them a couple of times a year, but that’s about it.”

Kevin added “Honestly, we owe what we have together to couples like them who paved the way.” My head was reeling. Kev was absolutely right. First my dad’s story, then watching Randy and Kevin with their kids, now seeing this couple who had been together for seven decades and hearing what they sacrificed just to be together. I had been so wrapped up in my own fears and insecurities that I didn’t realize how easy I had it.

When we got back to the house most of the others were back. Brad and Scotty’s group pulled up the same time we did. I crawled over Scotty’s baby seat and Seth crawled over Matty’s and the two of us unloaded the little guys. Scotty clung to me as I carried him into the house. When we got back in Several of the men were in the kitchen preparing our meal, Jordy was leading the effort. Darren and Alex were in the dining room setting the giant table. They had pulled a couple of tables together so that we could all eat together. The table looked far more elegant and extravagant than my aunt Hellen’s ever did. It was like something out of a magazine. The smells from the fifth meal of the day cooking in the kitchen and the beautiful table were amazing, but the thing that made the biggest impression on me was the laughter and the love. These people talked about anything and everything, and nothing was forced. It was all so natural; you could just tell that they loved being around each other.

The talking, joking, and laughing continued as we finally we sat down to dinner at the huge, beautifully adorned table. Kevin and Randy each sat at an end of the table with a highchair and a baby next to them. Their friends and family lined up in the chairs on either side. Mauricio was sitting in the middle and said “I am so thankful that our baby boy is home with his new, hot boyfriend. Seth, I think you should give a quick prayer of thanks.” Although most of the people sitting at the table weren’t very religious, no one balked at the request.

Seth didn’t make a big deal of it. He took my hand, bowed his head, and said “I am grateful that we’re all together again, and thankful for the two new additions to our family, Baby Scotty, and Zach. Thank you for this incredible meal, but most importantly thank you for this collection of amazing people that make up our family.”

“AMEN” Mauricio yelled, and the others followed suit. The talking and laughter immediately filled the room again. I discretely took some pictures and sent them to my mom and dad, wishing them a happy Thanksgiving. She responded with a selfie of her, my dad, and my little sister with the rest of our relatives in the background. The two photos were proof of the differences between Seth’s world and my own.

So far, this trip had been truly eye-opening for me. Damn I had led such a sheltered life. My mind was expanding with the possibilities of what could be. With or without Seth, I was hoping beyond hope that it was WITH Seth, but who knew what the future held and I knew that either way, I had options.

To be continued…