The Next Morning
So remember what I said about freaking out? Yeah, well. I did. I woke up the next morning pretty early. I could hear the surf in the distance and there was a warm breeze coming in the window. I could tell the sun was just thinking about coming up so the light was dim. Sergio was lying on his back, snoring softly. He had thrown the sheet off at some point so his body was completely exposed. And his cock was hard as rock. So was mine.
I wasn't sure which of those two facts pushed me over the edge, but over I went. I almost jumped out of bed and found my shorts and t-shirt and stuck my feet into my sandals and got the hell out of that room. For one I felt guilty. Natalie and I did not have that kind of relationship. If one of us was to have any extracurricular experiences, we had to tell the other. Immediately.
So fine, but I don't think that rule included getting together with someone of the same gender. Nope. That wasn't part of the rule. I walked down to the lobby – which was deserted – and walked out the back doors to the big patio. I found myself going past the same chairs we had sat in the night before, and not wanting to remember, I kept walking. I wanted to be away. I walked until I got to the beach. Just in time to see the sun start to rise out of the waves, all shimmery and red. If I wasn't so fucked up I would have been really happy to see it.
I sat there, watching the sun rise, watching the seagulls wheel above me. There was a crab carefully moving sideways in front of me, investigating everything it found with its claws. I found myself thinking about a lot of things. About being in the locker room with Carlos and other guys. I don't remember once having any reaction whatsoever to seeing guys without clothes.
I had seen porn – or course I had – and had seen all kinds of buff dudes with giant cocks fucking women. But I don't remember actually looking at the guys. It was more I wanted to be one of those guys, fucking away at these women with impossible tits and all the rest.
I remembered accidentally watching a bisexual video that I had thought was about a cheating spouse or something. It was interesting, is all I can remember. I was impressed and appreciative that everyone in the film could have a good time with anyone, but that's as far as it went for me.
But with Sergio the night before, something different had happened. And before you say that it was just a blowjob, I already thought of that. Because it wasn't just a blowjob. It wasn't like I was imagining Natalie while he sucked my cock. It was exiting because it was Sergio sucking my cock. And when he had stood up and swallowed my cum, I remember having the impulse to kiss him, but I had held myself back. What the fuck?
Was I into guys only if they were Sergio?
“I thought I would find you out here.”
It was Sergio. Of course it was. “Yeah, I needed to be alone for a minute. I hope that's cool.” I felt guilty, which surprised me.
He was wearing his shorts again and a different t-shirt, so I knew he'd been back to his room. He sat down on the sand beside me.
I couldn't look at him and a part of me wanted to tell him to get lost. He said, “Are you freaking out?”
I had to laugh, then said, “Yeah. A little.”
He sighed, then said, “I hope I didn't fuck up our friendship.”
I looked at him and thought a moment. I realized that was impossible. I shook my head. “No. No way. Don't worry about that. It's just...well, it's a lot. What we did...”
He nodded and looked out at the ocean which was turning all kinds of shades of red and pink. The crab had been joined by another, walking the beach in tandem. I heard him sigh. Then he said, “Maybe I should leave you alone for a while. I mean, we can still pretend to be a couple, but I won't bring up last night, and I'll keep my hands off you. Deal?”
I looked at him and he didn't look guilty. Just concerned. I said, “Yeah. That might be a good idea.”
He got up and said, “I'll see you at the boat.”
Right. The boat. I had almost forgotten again.
So we had a nice breakfast and we didn't cuddle or anything, but we put on a show that said we were a happy couple. I wondered if it was really necessary since Frank seemed to be chill and Sergio seemed not so fussed around him.
Then we got in a bus and drove to the harbour where there was a big tour boat waiting for us. It was fun. We motored out into the harbour and then into the open water, skirting the coastline which looked amazing and tropical. There was a nice breeze and lots of birds and some jumping dolphins. Amazing. Sergio and I stood with the other guys and everyone was happy and chill. A few times I looked at Sergio and found myself admiring him even more. So confident and chill.
He caught me looking a few times and grinned, the sea air blowing his curly hair all over the place. In that moment, watching the light play over his hair, I suddenly thought: what a beautiful guy. It felt like such a simple thought. I had always known that Carlos and his brother were good-looking dudes, but this was the first time I connected that with the experience of being attracted to that beauty. Holy shit. What was happening to me?
I turned away. Not because I didn't want to look at him, but because, I realized, all I wanted to do was look at him. I glanced over at Carlos who was leaning over looking down at the water. I walked over to him – my best friend – and said, “This is so awesome being here with you. I love you, mate.”
Carlos, being Spanish, was way more emotionally expressive than I was. He turned and put his arm around my shoulder and said, “Fuck, Stan, I love you, too. This is the best time.” He looked out at the water and said, “How is the whole, Sergio-and-I-are-fucking, thing?”
I felt a little stab of anxiety, but managed to say, “Oh, fine. I think Frank gets the idea, but I don't think he's jealous which is what Sergio wanted.”
Carlos shrugged and said, “Oh well. As long as Sergio is having fun.”
I wanted to say, Yeah, Sergio is having fun. But I didn't.
We got off the boat and drove back to the hotel for lunch. I sat with Sergio and we both seemed to have calmed down. We talked about plans for the future, buying houses and investments. It was a normal conversation like we always had.
Later, I said I was going for a walk, and Sergio pointedly didn't come with me. He made a show of saying he was going to his room for a nap. So I strolled around the hotel, and down the road to a little village on the other side of the point. It was a sweet place with goats and kids and old guys sitting around at rickety tables smoking.
When I got back, it was almost time for dinner. It was meant to be a more formal affair, with a live band and stupid stag night games. I hate those kind of things.
I got to the dining area and there were lights on everything and big tables with an amazing buffet of mostly seafood. Tons of wine. The tables were all done up with white cloths and silverware and all the things. Classy.
I looked around and saw Sergio and Carlos talking at a table, so I joined them. I got to the table and my stomach did some handsprings. Sergio was wearing this white tuxedo-thing that looked like it was from a Humphrey Bogart film. He looked...amazing. Remember what I said about not really noticing guys in that way before? Yeah, well. I noticed him.
I was in a dark blue suit that had satin stripes at the creases and a pink shirt with a green tie. I have to say, I looked pretty awesome myself. Of course Natalie picked it out for me since she's the one with the taste. When I thought of her, I felt guilty again. Fuck.
We had been texting as if nothing was different, but everything felt different. It wasn't like I suddenly didn't love her or anything, but I certainly felt confused about how I felt about her in light of my responses to Sergio.
I got to the table and said, “Hey guys.”
Sergio looked up at me and I could just tell. He was having the same response I did to him. What the fuck was going on? Even Carlos whistled and said, “Man, if there were some women here we know who they would be all over.”
I looked at Sergio and laughed and Carlos said, “Or some gay dudes.”
I decided to ignore that remark and sat down with them as if everything was cool. But it wasn't, was it? My best friend's brother looked stunning. And I fucking wanted him. There. I said it. I didn't think it was possible, but I guess you just never know, do you?
I ordered some bottles of wine for the table and we toasted to friendship and all that. But secretly, I was toasting to Sergio. I know, I know, how the fuck does a straight guy change gears so fast. The fact is, I don't know. But for whatever reason, I decided to go with it. He was my friend, after all. Wasn't it just an extension of that? A bit more than a friendship?
We ate some great seafood and had more wine. There were stupid games with all kinds of cheap sexual innuendo, or out-and-out misogyny and everything in between. Sergio and I kept glancing at each other and grinning. We were still ostensibly playing boyfriends, but it actually felt like we were boyfriends. Or something like it. We even, when the music started up later on, danced for a while. Like slow danced. And in the middle of one of those dances, he whispered in my ear, “Stan...do you know how much I want to kiss you right now?”
I was startled only by how direct he was being. Not by the sentiment. I mean I had already had that thought. So I looked him right in the eye and you know what I did? I kissed him. I mean, not just kissed him, but properly. For a while. Then I though suddenly, as if it hadn't occurred to me before, what the fuck am I doing?
I pulled back and said quietly, “What's your brother going to think about this?”
He shrugged and said, “No idea.” He paused for a moment, then said, “And what is Natalie going to think about this?”
We looked at each other realizing there were some problems ahead if we decided to act on this. Big problems. Carlos and Natalie were friends, for one thing. I realized in that moment I had to tell Natalie.
I stepped back and let go of him, even though I didn't want to. I really didn't want to. But I think he got it. He let me go. I ducked out of the crowd and went to my room. I don't think anyone really noticed either that we were necking, which they might assume was part of the act for Frank, and they certainly didn't notice me leave.
I had no idea what time it was in England, but I called her. It turned out is was early afternoon in Manchester and Natalie was at home, since she worked in the evening. I won't bore you with the details of our conversation, but I was honest with her. She didn't say anything for a moment, then she said, “With Sergio? What the fuck? What does Carlos think?”
I winced and took a breath. “He doesn't know yet.”
“Stanley McIntyre, what the fuck are you doing?”
When she used my whole name like that I knew I was in trouble. That was true even before we started dating. She had been part of our friend group for a few years and we had finally got together the previous Christmas. Four months ago. Fuck.
I said, truthfully, “I have no idea. This is as surprising to me as anyone.”
“Let me point out, Stan, that you had sex with him. Don't give me any details, whatever you do.” She paused, as if she needed to take a breath. Then she said, “So. Are you done? Are you to going to shag some more before you leave?”
That was the skill-testing question, wasn't it. Were we? It sure as hell seemed like it on the dance floor. But then I knew I needed this conversation to go a particular way, because in that moment I answered her question, at least in my head. “Natalie, I know this is going to probably end our relationship really fast, but yes. It is going to happen again. I want it to happen again.”
This is the part that I really won't bore you with. She called me some choice names and cursed me like her Irish grandmother would have. But the thing that really surprised me was I didn't feel all that upset. A little sad because I know I hurt her, but her reaction didn't for one second change what I wanted. I wanted Sergio. I wanted to fuck him. I wanted to feel his whole body and all kinds of other things. Where in the hell this had been hiding in my psyche all these years, I have no idea, but at that moment, it was as clear as day.
I finally told Natalie I needed to go so I cut her off in mid-curse. Then I knew I had one other conversation ahead of me before anything else could happen.
I found Marco sitting with some cousins at a table playing poker. Of all the damn things to be doing in the South Pacific. Men. We're idiots. Did I say that already?
I went up to him and leaned down and said into his ear, “We need to talk. Now.”
He looked at me, alarmed. “Uh-oh. Frank problems?” He got up and dumped his cards onto the table.
“No, not Frank. Let's walk.”
We left the patio and walked into the same grove of palm trees where we had sat with Sergio. I leaned against the trunk of one of the trees and took a breath while he stood looking at me. He finally said, “Stan, you're scaring me.”
I actually laughed. It was ridiculous. But it was true. I said, “You know how Sergio and I have been playing boyfriends for the last three days?”
“Yeah, of course. How's that going?”
I took another breath. “Well, maybe we're not playing anymore.”
He looked puzzled and said, “You mean Frank has cooled off?”
Of course he would think that. I said, “No. Go fish.”
Then I saw on his face his mind working really hard. He just stared at me, his eyes wide while he worked it out. Finally he said, “You mean...you and Sergio...?”
I nodded. I knew I had to say more. I knew I had to explain what the hell I was doing, and why. But right then I didn't have a good answer. I finally said, “I don't know what to say, Carlos. When Sergio kissed me to make Frank jealous or something, I suddenly realized I was into it. Into him. I wanted to kiss him back. And I won't get into the details, but we kind of had sex last night and he slept in my bed. I know it's really fucked up, but there you have it. Punch me if you need to.”
But Carlos is an unpredictable guy. I should have remembered that. He looked at me blankly for a moment, then he actually started to laugh. And not a mean laugh or a snarky one, but a laugh you have when someone tells you a really good joke. Finally he caught his breath and said, “Fuck, Stan! Even though I'm totally floored, I'm actually really happy. I mean there's no one in the world I would want to be with my brother than you. It's awesome.”
I was shocked, not surprisingly. Relieved, but shocked. I said, “You're not mad?”
“Stan. How long have we been best friends? A long time. There's nothing you could do that would make me not love you, mate.” He paused and leaned forward, putting his arm around my shoulders. Then he said, “You better tell Natalie, or I will get mad.”
I sighed. “I just did. She's massively pissed and who can blame her?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I'm sure she is. She'll get over it. That's assuming of course that you're breaking up with her...?”
“I think that's what happened. I can't stay with her and have this huge crush on your brother and then have sex with him, now can I?”
He laughed again, and said, “No, I don't imagine you can.” He paused, looking devilish. “So...are you two going to go fuck each other silly now?”
“Jesus, Carlos! But yes, I hope so. Is that ok?”
“You have my blessing. If you want I can talk to Natalie. I know how to calm her down.”
I felt guilty saying it, but I said, “That would be amazing, Carlos. I would be so grateful.”
“Cool. Now go before I change my mind.”
So I went. I had a feeling Sergio was in his room and that he was probably waiting. I knocked at his door really softly. “Hey, Sergio?”
The door opened and there he was. He was still wearing the amazing tuxedo and still looking like a fucking supermodel. It caught my breath. I said, “Can I come in?”
He laughed and said, “You better.”
I walked in, afraid to touch him. I sat on the bed and undid my tie. He sat beside me. I said, “So...I told Natalie. And I told your brother. Natalie went nuclear and your brother...well, he gave his blessing.”
Sergio burst out laughing. “His blessing, huh? He approves?”
I grinned and said, “He does approve. He thinks I'm the only one worthy of being with you. Go figure.” We were both silent for a moment. Then Sergio stood up and poured me glass of wine from a bottle that was sitting on the little table by the sofa. He picked up his glass and clinked it into mine. “To new experiences.”
“You can say that again.” I took a big gulp of wine.
Sergio sipped his and then said, “Well, do we want to see what happens? I mean with us? I mean,” and for a second he looked really vulnerable, like a little kid, “Are you and I going to date and find out?”
I took another swig of wine, then said, “Take off your clothes. I want to see you. All of you.”
A big smile appeared on his face. He put his wine glass down and stood up. He undid the bow tie and flung it onto the floor. He slid out of the jacket and put it carefully on the sofa. Then his shirt. I looked at his chest and his light tan skin, and the dark, trimmed hair that was all over his pecs. His nipples were big and juicy. I had never looked at a guy's nipples before, or at least this way. I reached out and ran my hand over the dark buzzed hair on his chest. He gasped.
It was like I was looking at a total stranger. I had seen his chest a bunch of times – in locker rooms, in swimming pools, on holidays at the beach, but somehow this was the first time I ever really noticed how beautiful it was. He was.
He undid his belt and then unzipped the form-fitting tuxedo pants. Then he was standing there in this pair of black boxer briefs that fit perfectly. His lean, strong thighs were a little hairy as well. His briefs showed the contour of his cock which was, not surprisingly, anything but soft, making a nice tent, the head almost poking out of the waistband.
I leaned forward, not sure of what I was doing and inhaled. He smelled...fantastic. A little musky, a little like some kind of cologne, a little spicy. I moved closer and ran my hand over his bulging briefs. He moaned and I felt his hand on the back of my neck and he pushed my face right into his crotch, mashing the fabric and the flesh underneath into my mouth, and on my forehead. He felt very warm.
My lips were right against the shaft of his cock and the whole animal nature of what we were doing really hit me. I gave a little moan and leaned back so I could pull his briefs down, so I could really see his whole cock which was suddenly there, angled up past my nose, throbbing slightly from his heartbeat.
Holy fuck. I was there. For the first time in my life I was turned on by another cock. I looked up at Sergio and our eyes met. He said, “You don't have to...”
I almost laughed. Just a nice dude. “I want to. I really, really want to.”
So I did. I opened my mouth and sucked on the end like it was the best ice cream cone. He tasted fantastic. It almost made me dizzy. I tried to remember what women had done when they sucked my cock, and I went with it. I took a breath and pushed my head down further, making sure my teeth were out of the way. Sergio moaned and put his hands on my head as if to steady himself. Sergio wasn't huge, but a nice size, not too thick, not too veiny. It was perfect, I realized.
I pushed my head down further and the end of his cock stopped at the back of my mouth. It was all in. I was all in, for fuck's sake. I shut my eyes and took another breath through my nose and realized I was completely convinced. I wanted this. I wanted more of it. I wanted him.
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