Sandor Goes to a Party
A few weeks later, I got to Aravind's flat late Saturday afternoon, after waking up and drinking a lot of coffee. I don't always drink coffee, but I felt I needed it. I needed to replenish myself from the night before.
When he opened the door and smiled at me, saying “Sandor!”
I had, for the millionth time, a moment where I couldn't breathe. He was just so beautiful. He pulled me in and hugged me and I breathed deeply, the smell of him – all warm and complex – settled something in me. It always did. And more importantly, something inside me needed to be settled.
He closed the door and we walked into the flat. He asked, “Do you want some tea?”
I laughed and said, “I just finished three huge cappuccinos, so I don't think that's a good idea.” I sat on his sofa and pulled a blanket that lay on the back over me. November was blowing in full force and Manchester was dark and damp. I looked around at the familiar place, the comfortable air of his flat that somehow made me want to never leave. I wondered if we would move in together at some point. But moving in together was a declaration and we needed to have another one first. I thought back to the first night we spent together. Eight months ago? I could hardly believe it.
He grinned and slid in beside me, wrapping his arms around my chest, his head tucked into my neck. “How was your night?”
I ran my hand through his hair and said, “It was...intense.”
He kissed my ear and whispered, “Tell me all about it.”
It had become one of our favourite things. I would have an adventure out in the city and then I would come to his flat for the weekend and tell him stories. Not just stories, obviously, but about my sexual adventures. Because I had had quite a few since we had started seeing each other. I knew – and so did he – that I was making up for lost time.
I turned to him and kissed him softly, then deeply, then more intensely. I didn't do a lot of kissing with other men. It felt like it was just for Aravind and I. I moaned into his mouth and pulled him closer. I managed to say, “Being with you is the most important thing of all.” I put my hands on his face and looked into his bottomless brown eyes and said, “Because I love you, right?”
His eyes widened and he didn't say anything for a second. I don't know why I chose that moment to say it, but it was nevertheless true. I had told Stan weeks before how I was feeling and he had said, “Don't wait, Sandor. If you feel it, just say it.”
So I agreed with my best friend and looked at Aravind, wondering how he took it. He finally said, “Of course I love you as well, Sandor...but a part of me wonders what this means. I mean about the two of us?”
“I don't understand. What it means?”
He cleared his throat and took my hand. “I'm a very practical person, Sandor. You must have noticed by now.”
I nodded and waited for more.
He paused then said, “I just mean if we love each other, then I need to know what it means about our future. Saying we love each other is important and I'm very happy you feel that way, but I guess at this point in my life, I want to have a sense of our future together. What we each imagine that looks like.”
I felt the truth of what he was saying. I pulled him close and said, “That's a good question. We'll come back to this, obviously. But I'm glad we at least agree about our feelings.”
He kissed my cheek and said, “Let's talk tomorrow after a good sleep.” He leaned back, a bright, but slightly wicked smile on his face. I felt like there was something he wasn't saying, but he kissed my nose and said, “So...you're evening last night?”
I pulled him close again and slid my hand in his pants so I had a nice grip on his quickly growing, familiarly massive, cock. It was our little ritual. And I told him.
--
After a bunch of random hook-ups with guys I met on the apps, I realized that I wanted something more...substantial? Not in terms of emotions, but in terms of intensity. Not just Tom intensity, but physical intensity or liberation. Because I had realized something in that sauna with Tom and all those men who sucked my cock: it liberated me somehow. I felt like I could do anything, that I was free to express my desires and there would be someone who wanted to join me. Tom was part of that, but it was also watching my dick disappear into all those mouths, watching all those bodies around me. It was freedom. That's what not coming out for all those years had done to me. It had imprisoned me and now I was free.
I found someone on one of the apps advertising a sex party. I had heard about such things from some guys I had fucked, but I had never been to one. But I felt it would continue what I started in that sauna. I tried to imagine a room full of men who wanted to do everything with everyone. That really excited me.
So I contacted the person who placed the ad, sent him a few pictures of myself in and out of clothes, and picture of – you guessed it - my cock when it was all hard and eager-looking. I am proud of my endowment, and I knew that other people were into it as well.
So I got an almost instant response, eagerly telling me where and when. It was in someone's house. A house, I realized, that was close to Stan and Sergio's new house in the south of Manchester. So clearly whoever was hosting it had money.
I got to the address which was indeed a few streets away from Stan and Sergio and briefly wondered if they might be there. But I reminded myself that a sex party was not their kind of fun.
The big front room had at least twenty men in it. They all seemed to be around forty which, as far as I could tell, made me the youngest one there. All different kinds of men. Dark skinned, light skinned, muscular, slim, tall, not so tall. But they were all really attractive. I felt almost honoured to be their company.
The man who let me into the house, led me to a bar and poured me a glass of wine. He had straight black hair and light brown skin and big brown eyes. He reminded me of Aravind a little, but he was more built, with a tight black t-shirt that showed off his developed chest. He said, “You must be Sandor?”
I smiled and said, “You must be Niswan?”
He laughed and nodded, clinking his glass into mine. “Welcome!”
I sipped my drink and said, “I'm not sure how this works...”
He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Well, Sandor, I think you're the last to arrive, so soon we'll all go upstairs and...well, get more comfortable. There are two big bedrooms with plenty of space for us all. After that...we'll just see what happens.”
I realized I was excited. I tried to imagine all of what might happen. I stood there, sipping my wine, until Niswan clapped his hands, and said, “All right, gentlemen. If you want to start going upstairs, we can get started.”
It sounded like he was announcing a business meeting, not a sexual free-for-all and I smiled into my wine, watching the men gradually leave the room. I finished my wine and walked up the stairs, following a tall man with a muscular body that I was suddenly interested in seeing without clothes. I followed him into a room where people were getting undressed, folding things in little piles onto a table.
Once I was naked, me and the other man looked at each other and shrugged. I said, “Your first time?”
He smiled and said, “Yes. I have no idea what happens now.”
I decided to get things started for us. I walked up to him and ran my hand down his shaved, muscled chest, and grabbed his hardening cock. “Maybe this...”
He grinned and took hold of mine, which was already mostly hard. He suddenly seemed very interested and got on his knees and immediately started to pull my cock into his mouth with a moan. I took his head in my hands and pushed, wondering if he could take it. He mostly did, but gagged a little which I was starting to like. I like the idea of my cock being too much. It made me think of Aravind for whom my cock wasn't too much, in fact he loved that it was big. I suppose it was because his cock was the same size.
I let the guy slurp on my big tool for a while, but then I pulled him up and said, “We have all night, mate. Let's see what else is happening.”
We left the little bedroom and went into one of the big ones. There were three beds in it and each one had about five men on it. They were doing all kinds of things to each other. So many it was hard to really focus. I picked one at random and got on. The first guy I got close to was sucking the cock of a tall, blonde, white guy who was kneeling, looking at me with a smile. I got behind the one sucking him and realized I wanted some lube. I spotted several bottles lying on the bed around us, so I grabbed one. I said to the guy sucking off the blonde, “Is it all right if I fuck you?”
He pulled off the cock he had in his mouth and said, “Fucking right, mate!”
I took this as a 'yes', so I lubed up my cock and grabbed him by the hips. I aimed my cock and pressed in. I was surprised at how easily my big piece slid in as if he was used to taking a lot. He nevertheless groaned and turned to me. I said, “Still all right?”
He gasped when I got myself all in and said, “Holy shit...but yeah. All good.”
So that began my night. I fucked the first guy for a while. At first slowly, but he asked me to put some force into it, so I held his hips more tightly and began to nail him right to the depths of his ass. He stopped sucking the blonde and just concentrated on being fucked.
After a while, I pulled out, wondering what was next. The blonde, I realized, was behind me, so I let him slide his dick into me, holding me around my torso with his his long arms. He fucked hard, and it almost hurt. Not from his length, but from the sheer force of his thrusts.
But I realized we all were interested in everything. The blonde pulled out and soon two guys I hadn't seen before started to suck my cock, alternating their mouths on me. They clearly were excited by my size, so I was excited by their excitement. One of them turned and asked me to fuck him, so I did, while his friend ran his tongue over his friend's prick, playing with his balls. I felt a mouth on my ass as someone began to tongue my hole, then slid his dick into me so I was in a threeway fuck, which I love. Things were definitely heating up.
After a few minutes, I extricated myself and got off the bed, and went to the other room. Things seemed to have taken a more intense turn. There was a huge bed – or two put together – and there was a pale, slim guy being double-fucked by two big men, one black and one white, the black guy on top, the white one underneath. I got on my hands and knees and stuck my face in, licking both cocks as they slid in and out of the poor guy's stretched ass.
The black guy pulled out and said, “You want to take over?”
Without waiting for an answer, I pushed my meat in above the other cock and started to fuck. The guy in the middle gasped and swore and I guess I was stretching him more than he expected, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. I liked the feel of the other cock rubbing mine as we both took the smaller guy's hole.
But I pulled out, wanting a rest, as the angle was hard on my back. I lay down beside the white guy and I watched him fuck the smaller guy while my back settled down. While I lay there, this smaller, gorgeous brown fellow started to really go down on me, pulling my cock all the way into his throat. He clearly had experience with big dicks.
For a while, I lost track of what was really happening, as if I was stoned on something. I fucked a few more guys, I was fucked by at least two, I sucked several and at one point three men ran their mouths over my cock and balls for a while. I almost blew my load, but I managed to hold back. I wasn't ready. The first guy I met in the change room let me fuck him for ages and when he covered his chest with cum he asked me to cum on his face. But I wasn't ready. It didn't feel like the right time.
Another big blonde guy with a Viking-sized cock – almost as big as mine - got behind me and I felt his lubed fingers in my ass, then he pushed his enormous cock in which made me gasp and I got on my hands and knees. He fucked me slowly and intensely and I stroked my own cock, feeling I could explode at any moment. The Viking blew his load into me and slapped my ass. He moved around and made me clean his cock off, then we kissed. My ass was on fire.
I thought about stoking myself to the finish, but I knew that I wasn't ready. I was looking for the right guy – or guys – to have a kind of finale with. I pulled away from the Viking, smiling at the big pale man and, ignoring all the fucking and sucking, kissing and fingering around me, went into the hall. I realized there was a third room I hadn't noticed. I went in and there was a smaller bed. On it, there was a guy with his hands tied to rope that was hanging from the ceiling. He was on his knees and there was a guy fucking his face.
I went into the room and the one feeding his cock to the one tied, said, “Come join us. Maybe you want to fuck my husband?”
I got on the bed and ran my hands over the bound man's ass. I said to the guy fucking his face, “What are your names?”
He laughed and said, “'Let's just say John and Joe. How does that sound?”
With a smirk, I wondered if they were cabinet ministers or something, and I assumed that discretion was in order, so I just nodded and smiled sweetly. “Nice to meet you, John and Joe.”
With that, I pulled Joe's hips up and fingered his hole which had already been used, since it was oozing cum which made me even more excited. My own ass was streaming Viking cum that ran down my leg. I love the feeling of fucking someone else's cum into someone's ass knowing my cock will push it deeper than anyone. I quickly slid my cock in and Joe spat John's cock out and said, “Fuck! That's what I've been waiting for. Fuck me with that thing.”
I liked the appreciative response and it motivated me to take him at his word. I gripped his hips tightly and drove deep, fucking hard. His skin of his ass was all smooth and sweaty, the light brown surface of his back all shiny and muscled. John was pale, with blonde curly hair and a big nose. His cock was close to my size so I realized Joe was used to enjoying big cocks.
We fucked him in tandem for a few minutes, then Joe spat out John's cock and said, “Switch places, will you? I want his cock in my throat.”
But first I made him clean my ass with his mouth, which he did, moaning and slurping. He clearly liked it rough, so I obliged and turned around and drove my dick as deep into his throat as I could. He wasn't new at taking big dicks, and I felt him relax just like Aravind could and I suddenly wanted him and him alone, but the thought was dissolved by the sound of John reaching a very loud orgasm. He pulled his cock out of Joe and blew a huge load onto his back in long, watery spurts.
This set me off and the accumulated excitement of the previous hour had pushed me into the stratosphere and I held Joe's head and fucked hard, feeling my balls empty into his throat. He moaned and gurgled and I pulled out a bit so he could breathe and he swallowed and then pulled my cock deep again, letting the last gush of my cum slide down his throat.
Just to surprise them both, I got down and took the head of Joe's cock in my mouth as he jacked a huge load all over my tongue. His cock wasn't very big, but he produced an amazing amount of cum that I was happy to enjoy.
When Joe's cock settled down, I sat up and kissed him, feeding him a bunch of his cum. He was the first guy I kissed that night, and the only one. I don't know why him, but it just felt like the right thing to do. I think it had something to do with knowing I would go home. I was done. I had had enough and enjoyed it all.
I pulled myself off the bed, waved at Joe and John and went to find my clothes. Everyone else was still in the middle of whatever they were doing. Everyone seemed to be fucking everyone and I could smell cum and lube in the air, along with man sweat and various kinds of cologne. I actually started to feel a little queasy.
I had had so much sex with so many men in the months leading up to this night, that this felt both the culmination and something else that I couldn't quite name. I pulled my clothes on and walked home through the chilly streets. It had stopped raining at last, but the air was damp. My body felt sore and raw. I felt sexually satisfied, but somehow a little empty.
I got home, had a long shower and went to bed.
--
So the next day, sitting on Aravind's sofa, holding his cock in my hand, having told the story of the previous night, I felt more happy, more excited, more uninhibited with him than I had with a houseful of naked, fit, horny men.
I said, “Aravind...I just realized something.”
He looked up at me and his face was full of curiosity. “Yes...?”
“I think I'm done with needing to have sex with every guy I see. I mean, I still want to have sex – especially with you – but I don't want any more random fucks. I think I'm done with that. That's why it suddenly felt important to tell you now that I love you. I've been feeling it for weeks, but now seemed like the right time to say it. After last night, I mean, which was about everything but love. This is what I want. You're who I want.”
He looked at me, clearly moved. His eyes filled with tears and he leaned forward and kissed me. Then he said, “Then we agree with each other. I'm not interested in fucking random men any more. I haven't for a while. I still have sex with friends sometimes, but I'm done with hook-ups. I haven't told you this because I knew you needed to experience all of what you did. But maybe we're on the same page now. And I love you all the more for it.” He kissed me again and said, “Take me to bed.”
I knew what he meant. He wasn't just asking me to fuck him, although he did want that. He wasn't just going to fuck me, although that would also happen. He was formalizing something between us in a way I had never experienced. It actually made me that much more excited.
As we walked to the bedroom, I thought about all the more or less random, sometimes anonymous men I had fucked over the past months. It had been exciting and satisfying but after the previous night, which was the culmination of all that sex, I realized it was like going to the gym: nothing more. And even though I had been with Aravind through that whole time, even though the sex between us was always wonderful and inventive, I had often felt this little anxiety that I was missing something out there in the world. When I went back home, back to work, I would go and find some random man – sometimes two or three – and I would feel sated and that some almost moral obligation had been addressed: I was free to fuck anyone I wanted. But that obligation now seemed rather thin. And of course Tom woke me up to the limits of that fantasy. Not all those men wanted to be random. Maybe I didn't want to be random.
Aravind lay down on the bed and I looked at him, we looked at each other. I knew this didn't mean that we would be entirely monogamous. I don't think either of us really wanted that. I knew, for instance, there was a man down the street that Aravind sometimes wanted to fuck. But only occasionally, and they were also friends. They already had a connection. It made me wonder what friend I might fuck now and then. Would Stan and/or Sergio be on that list? I wasn't sure.
I pulled my mouth over Aravind's long, elegant brown cock and an explosion went off in my head as all that lovely muscle pushed into my throat, and I felt his hands on my head forcing him to go deeper. The hair around his cock tickled my nose and lips. His warm, earthy scent filled my head. He slowly fucked my mouth, wrapping his legs around my torso and pushing his hips up. I pulled my mouth away and kissed my way up his flat belly, his smooth, lightly-haired chest, his strong shoulders, licking his neck, sucking on his plump bottom lip. When our mouths met, it felt like a shock, somehow feeling different than it always had, and we kissed for a long time, sliding our cocks together, feeling the friction of our hairy balls.
He pulled me around so he was on top of me, then sliding forward in such a way that his cock started to push under my balls toward my hole, so I opened my legs and as he sucked one of my nipples, he nudged his cock into me, into my waiting body, arcing his hips and pushing. I was able to open myself to him, feeling my muscles relax, feeling him fill the space inside me as he pushed my legs apart, pulling my thighs up, bracing himself under my knees and, staring me in the eyes, began a long, slow, deep, powerful series of thrusts. He fucked me with increasing force, his gaze never leaving me. It was the most intense thing I had ever experienced. We just looked at each other, and when his body began to vibrate, his hips moving faster, he leaned down and kissed me, groaning at the same time. I held his strong, firm ass and pulled him into me even deeper. I wanted his cum to fill me.
When he was done, he pulled out and used his cum that was leaking out of me to lube my cock. I pushed him backward and drove my cum-covered cock into him and we repeated the whole thing again in reverse and when my body exploded, I pulled out of him, and sprayed an enormous load all over his cock and balls, then I stuck my streaming cock back into him, feeling the last jets fill his ass. He let me clean up my cum, collecting it with my tongue and I fed it to him in a long syrupy kiss.
When we were still, he reached into the drawer of a table beside the bed and pulled out a little box. In it there were two things. He took my hand and placed a key in it. He asked, “Do you think there's enough room for us both to live here?” I was so overcome, I couldn't say anything. His smile got bigger. Then he pulled a large gold ring out of the box. He grinned at me and then I understood. He leaned down and slipped it over my cock and down so it fit snugly at the base. My cock was still hard, so I knew the fit was perfect. How had he known the right fit? He was must have measured it or compared it to his own which was more or less the same size.
He was still grinning and I knew this was a serious moment and a ridiculous moment. Two different things, two different feelings. I felt the heaviness of the ring at the base of my cock. I stroked myself and laughed. Then I looked at the key in my hand. I said, “Thanks, Aravind. I can't wait to use both of these with you.”
He laughed and kissed me, saying, “I can't wait, either...” And his smile said many things that didn't need to be said out loud.
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