"Dude, what are you doing?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm making love to you, beautiful."
Wow!! Talk about your daily dose of passion.
"Okay, I'm having trouble understanding what's going on right now. Am I missing something here?"
"What do you mean, babe?"
Babe? Seriously? Okay, let's try and figure this out...
Likely situation 1:
I escaped from a mental institution and somewhere along the way met up with "what's his face" over here and now we're love monkeys (he's one hot monkey though).
Likely situation 2:
"What's his face" kidnapped me and now he's "love" raping me. Let's call it the "obsession with screwing Keegan" situation.
"Is everything okay babe? You seem a bit distracted."
"Would you please stop calling me that. I mean seriously dude, I don't even know your name."
"You sure about that?", he asked with a mischievous smile, "last night you said, or should I say screamed it out just perfect during our hot lovemaking session."
Scratch the second "let's guess" situation.
OH GOD, did he just say hot lovemaking session and I can't remember a thing about it? Karma can be a real bitch sometimes!!!
"Uhm would you be a good boy and help refresh my memory a bit?", I asked him with one of those "be a good doggy and go get the ball " voices.
"Well if I remember correctly, It went something like : Yeah Daniel, give it to me baby."
Shocked is not the right word I'd use in this case. Noooo... More like: "You're fucking kidding right?"
But then again, he did say: "If I remember correctly" and that's usually code for: "Let's redecorate the truth a little to make it sound more interesting."
So let's analyze this for a second...
Number one: Come on, I'd never say something remotely like that and number two: Daniel? Really?
I always pictured my first time being with someone with a more, you know, exotic name like Eduardo or Miguel or something. Not in this lifetime I guess...
"Listen Daniel, I don't know you and as much as I would love to remember us being intimate, I really don't."
"And how does this make you feel babe?"
Likely situation 3:
I'm on some SERIOUS medication and I ran away with my therapist... Yeah that sounds better, doesn't it?? If it doesn't, I'm totally blaming it on the meds.
Look on the plus side.. If I were to ever marry "Mr hot for Keego Pops" over here and develop a prescription drug problem... I would have a lifetime supply. What? Just saying.
"Let me think of an appropriate word to explain to you how I'm feeling right now. Gee uhm... I dunno, confused pops up a lot."
"Okay you got me. I'll play along with your kinky "I don't remember a thing" game... Well, let me start at the beginning..."
"Keegan wake up ,you're having a nightmare", my dad said shaking me gently.
And so the story of karma kicking me in the ass continues...Really? He couldn't wait for like five more minutes to wake me up? I was sooo close.
"Morning dad, what's up?", I said with a yawn.
"Well I just wanted to tell you that I'm having a few people over tonight", he said standing next to my bed.
"Oh, thanks for letting me know."
He stood there for a while just staring at me and then he handed me a set of keys. A confused look spread across my face which he obviously noticed.
"Well you have to get around somehow and do what teenagers do best... Get into trouble."
"Are you serious?" I said with a huge grin on my face.
"Yeah. I mean, it's just a temporary thing until we get you your own car but if u don't like the ide...." I didn't even give him time to finish.
"No, no I think it's awesome dad, thank you."
"You're welcome son."
Dude, when did my dad become this cool?? First the texting and now this... These days he's like the epitome of swag, you know, the "Chuck Norris can't touch this" kinda swag...
Oh God, did you just hear that? I sounded worse than Kanye Swift. If the hood heard me now they'd be writing rap songs about me.
"... So here's a white ass homie trying to sound pretty fly
But it ain't heppenin coz he's just a crazy white guy.
So close your ears if you hear this, coz homeboy can't rap.
His voice stings more than your girlfriend's bra strap..."
What? You're realizing this now?
I'm weird...get over it! I refuse to be normal in a normal world.
"But you never let anyone drive the Mercedes."
"Things change son and I trust you."
"You have no idea how much that means to me dad."
He gave me a smile and said: "Well I'm off to work, so I'll see you a little later."
"Okay see ya dad."
He was just about to leave when he turned around to face me again.
"Oh quick question... Who uhh.. Who is Daniel?"
"Daniel?", I asked a bit jumbled.
"Yeah Daniel, you were mumbling his name in your sleep."
Oh, how could I forget?? My therapist slash love monkey.
"He... uh... he... he's just a friend dad."
And the award for the most outstanding performance in "you're such an idiot" goes to...
Like he's going to believe you after that poor little performance.
"If you say so", he said walking to the door.
"You know, you don't have to hide your boyfriends from me son."
"Uhm, I'll keep that in mind dad", I said obviously turning a light shade of red.
"You do that son", he said walking out the door.
Awkward to the max!!!
I sat in my bed looking at my room. I don't like to brag but I have a pretty spectacular room.
I'm very finicky when it comes to where I sleep. My bedroom has to offer a retreat from the stresses of everyday living for all who enters. There is just enough color to keep it interesting, mixed with a bit of dark and neutral shades to add a some mystery.
I kept the tones and patterns in the drapery fabrics and other suitable furniture subtle with a variety of textures.
A beautiful silver sleigh bed was located in the centre of the room with three eye-catching paintings hanging above the headboard. The bed was mostly made out of a soft taupe velvet fabric that falls beautifully into deep buttoning on the head and footboard. I also have my own bathroom and a have walk in closet (what??? I like clothes). Its chic but classic.
I got out of bed, took a quick shower and headed downstairs to kill some cereal.
The house is pretty spectacular too, but not overly grandiose... It's a six bedroom house with four bathrooms, a marble kitchen, seven carports (my dad really likes his cars) and a very big swimming pool.
The furniture in the house is very modern in a cosy kinda way. The floor is made out of Calamander wood (the dark brown to black wood with the orange-gold streaks).
I was also told that "mommy dearest" even has her own custom-made Louis Vuitton chair with a matching coffee table.
Anyway... the day went by really fast. I did some shopping (again... what? I like clothes) and I unpacked my stuff. Before I knew it my dad and Kate was home preparing for the "get together".
It's Friday night, so I decided to go get my drink on....