Crown Vic to a Parallel World

8

A HOT Shower

I set my mind to the task of getting ready for the day.  Focusing on the normal seemed the best strategy for keeping the insanity at bay.  Since I didn’t have any clothes to put on after my shower, I checked the furniture in the bedroom to see if the hotel was fancy enough to provide robes for its guests.  In the top drawer of the bureau, I found a fluffy white robe.

I held it up to myself and discovered the robe was too small for me.  I thought that it might cover my shoulders and back, but it would never close around my fat middle.  I figured I’d supplement the robe with a towel around my waist and hung both on a hook on the back of the bathroom door to put them in easy reach for when my shower was finished.

I stripped to my skin and tossed my clothes into another technicolor pile, this time in the corner of the bathroom instead of the bedroom.  I looked at myself in one of the mirrored bathroom walls and was appalled at my flabby-fat, winter-white, patchy-body-hair-turning-gray ugliness.  I spoke aloud to the image that I hated. “I felt that he wanted me.  How the fuck is that possible?”

I had no answer for myself so I shrugged the question away and went into the shower stall.  I closed the glass door behind me and fiddled with the water controls until they started to make sense.  I turned the water on, as hot as I could stand it, and made it blast from as many shower heads as I could figure out how to operate.  I closed my eyes and let the water cascade over my body.  I tried not to think or feel except for the physical sensations of the shower.

Even though I was trying not to feel, I continued to experience Shawn’s emotions as they swirled and tumbled like dark clouds in an angry sky.  His emotions tugged at mine and made it impossible for me to remain emotionally neutral.  Shawn’s primary emotion was anxiety.  I guessed he was anxious over the mistake he’d apparently made and what the solution to it might be.

His anxiety spurred my own and started my mind along a dark but familiar path.  Whenever my emotions turned black, and I was unable to drown them in whiskey, I usually relived bad experiences from my past on a loop until I either got drunk or found something to distract me.  Since I didn’t have a distraction, the memories flowed.

Some memories were specific and some were vague, but all were terrible.  The familiar nightmares crowded my mind as I went through the routine of washing my body.  Endless arguments with my parents, times when I’d said the wrong things in front of my coworkers and almost outed myself to them, moments of shame when I’d fucked up at work.  One of the memories brought me up short.

I was a child and was getting berated for spilling a glass of water on the carpet.  The trouble was, the man berating me was a stranger and the room that I was in, wasn’t a room I’d ever seen before.  That memory faded and became another.

The new memory was of me while I paced the inside of my studio apartment and waited for my boyfriend to get home.  I’d rehearsed everything I was going to say to him.  ‘This time, no more excuses.’ I told myself.  When my boyfriend came through the door, my resolve failed and I let him walk over me with a halfhearted excuse.  The trouble with that memory was that I’d never lived in a studio apartment and I’d never had a boyfriend.

It occurred to me with a shock that those bitter memories weren’t mine, they were Shawn’s.  His memories were flashing in my mind in response to my emotions.  The weird thing was, in each memory, the emotion he felt at the time matched the anxiety that I felt in the moment.  It also matched the anxiety that he felt in the moment.

I mentally pursued Shawn’s memories.  They started to flash through my mind like a mixed-up slideshow.  As more of them came to me, the emotion of the scenes became inconsistent.  Good and bad alternated as everything that I saw, I saw from Shawn’s perspective, and I felt about it the same way he felt at the time.

Some of it was innocuous; sitting in lectures, eating meals, exercising.  Shawn liked to run or wall-climb to relieve stress.  The rest of it was more significant; being berated by his father and later soothed by his mother, his uncle praising his early successes in medical school, him meeting the man that would become the object of his desire, a fair-complected blond named Roeb Brevis.

I wondered if Shawn was seeing my life.  I hoped, for his sake, he’d be spared that forty-year train wreck.  I rinsed the soap from my hair and face and opened my eyes.  I figured that having my eyes open would help me block the memories, both mine and his, as they were becoming unwelcome.

I found that the glass of the shower stall was fogged up.  It made me feel like I was inside a cloud.  I tried to get on with my shower, but the old memories and new sensations kept distracting me.  I realized with a measure of surprise that Shawn was pacing the sitting room.  I don’t know how I knew that, but somehow, I could feel his position in space as it changed in relationship to mine.  He stopped pacing near the hall door to the suite.  As he stayed still, his emotions shifted from anxious to apprehensive to approval.  I reasoned that out and figured that the clothes that he’d ordered for me had arrived and he liked them.

Shawn moved from the door to the suite, through the sitting room, into my bedroom.  He paced back and forth in my room.  His emotions were all over the place as he paced.  They ranged from apprehension to worry to fear to sadness.  Sadness seemed to win the contest for being the dominant emotion.

Shawn and his sadness came closer to me.  I heard the bathroom door open and close as he entered it.  He was very near, just outside the shower stall.  He remained sad but his apprehension spiked as he tapped on the glass of the stall.

I smeared a hole in the fog, just large enough to peer through, and looked into a pair of shiny eyes in a long face with a deep frown.  “You’re a sad, lonely man.”  He said to the glass.  His voice shook like he was on the verge of tears as he spoke.

I nodded.

“And no one knows you, the real you.  No one knows how your parents didn’t love you.  No one knows you blame yourself for their deaths.  No one knows you’re attracted to men.  No one knows how meaningless your life is to you.”

I nodded again.  Shawn was telling me things about myself that I’d always kept locked deep inside.  He knew them, all my secrets and all of my shame.

“I’m lonely to, and I’m sad and I’m scared and I don’t want to die and I don’t want the world to end and I don’t know what happened this morning or if I can fix it or what will happen if I can’t, but…but out of all that, I know this one thing.  I know that I want you.”  He chewed his ripe bottom lip while anticipation and worry fought for dominance inside him.  “Will you let me in?  Will you make love to me?  Will you distract me from everything that’s going on and hold me tight and make me feel safe?  Please, Church.  I know you’re afraid, and you hate your body, and you think you’re no good, and you think you don’t deserve to be happy.  I also know that…that you want this as badly as I do.”

I reached for the watch that I’d taken off and was disappointed it wasn’t there.  I gripped my wrist when I couldn’t stretch the watchband.  I was so scared of what Shawn wanted, of what I wanted.  I made the only objection I could come up with.  “But I’ve never…with a man…I don’t…I don’t know how.”

Shawn pressed his palms against the glass on either side of the smeared hole in the steam.  “I know you haven’t.  I’ll teach you.  We’ll stop if you say stop.”

I was afraid…so afraid, but desire, both mine and his, defeated my fear.  I reached for the door with a trembling hand and pushed it open.  Shawn appeared in the open doorway.  He peeled his shirt off and tossed it aside.  He stepped out of his shorts and tossed them.  He stood before me, naked and proud.  He had a lot to be proud of.  “Beautiful.”  I breathed as I admired him.

Shawn’s body shimmered with youth and health.  It was breathtaking.  His skin was creamy white and smooth, perfectly smooth except for a curly mat of black hair under each arm and a neat triangle that highlighted his cock and heavy-looking balls.  His nipples were pink and set wide on the defined pecs of his deep chest.  His whole upper body was underwear-model-fit and adorned with lean muscle.

I let my eyes trail down his body, from his broad shoulders to his narrow, tapered waist.  Below his waist, his hips flared out to hint at the sculpted legs below.  His legs were his most impressive feature; thick, powerful thighs and bulging calves, finely turned ankles and well-kept feet.

Shawn felt my admiration and grinned a bashful grin as he came toward me.  I backed away until I ran out of room and my body flattened against the glass of the stall.  Shawn closed the door and turned off all the gushing shower heads except one in the center that pointed straight down.  He also did something that cleared the fog from the glass so fast it was like flipping a switch.

The stage set, he moved under the flow of the single shower head to tantalize me.  He rinsed himself provocatively under the water, turned to show off every angle and curve, and ran his hands over his smooth, flawless skin.  His ice-blue eyes narrowed to sensuous slits.  I was torn between raw hunger and the crushing shame that I felt for my ugliness.  I covered my face with my hands and wished I could disappear.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“You’re perfect and I’m…I’m disgusting.”  I groaned to my palms.

Shawn pulled my hands from my face and forced me to meet his eyes with mine.  “You’re not disgusting.  I don’t think you’re disgusting.  Can’t you feel how much I want you?  Even if you couldn’t…I have proof.” He lowered his eyes and I followed his gaze down with my own.  I paused when my eyes fell on his hard, throbbing manhood.

“Can’t argue with that.” I said without thinking.

Shawn laughed, a musical, reckless laugh, like the ringing of tuned bells.  He took my face in his soft hands and brought it down to his.  “Stop worrying and kiss me.”

I kissed his salty sweet mouth and abandoned myself to him.

* * * *

Later, much later, we sat pressed together on the couch in matching white robes.  I couldn’t take my eyes off his face.  I replayed our shower over and over in my mind and savored every instant.  I could barely convince myself that it happened except for the images and sensations imprinted on my memory.  I never thought I’d have sex again, let alone shower-sex on a parallel world with a young guy that could have been a model.  He’d been so careful and so patient with me, and every time I wanted to give into my shame, he gave me something else to focus my attention on.

He seemed to know exactly what to do to make the experience as much as it could be for the both of us.  He did things, things that were obviously designed to leverage my physical strength, while watching out for my lack of flexibility.  He was careful about my limited wind but aggressive enough to make me think he was aware of my high threshold for pain.  He showed me pleasures I didn’t believe were possible.

Our tryst also helped me understand the bathroom better.  The room was a movie set, a porn movie set, and Shawn and I were the stars…well, Shawn was.  The huge clear shower stall, the black wall that eliminated glare and the mirrored wall to reflect the action back to the actors…the perfect setting for a porn shoot.

After Shawn had kissed me, he’d released my face from his hands and allowed me to stand to my full height.  He held my gaze with his eyes to make sure he had my attention, then lowered his face to look down at his hardness.  When his eyes met mine again, it was with an up-from-under look that poured gasoline on my already blazing lust.

“Touch it.” He’d said with a voice that sounded like he was giving me a gentle command.

I reached for him with my right hand and closed my fist around his dick.  It was hot in my hand.  I felt it’s pulse as I gripped it and tried to stroke him.  Shawn shivered and gasped.  I stopped my movement. “Your hands are rough.” He whispered. “Open your palm.”

I did as I was told and waited.  Shawn looked down and pushed a glob of spit from between his lips.  It landed on his cock with a splat and ran into my hand.  It was the most vulgar thing I’d seen him do, but incredibly hot in the context of the moment.  I smeared his spit around his cock and closed my hand around it again.  I stroked him gently because I didn’t know how hard he liked to be handled.

I wondered what to do next.  I assumed Shawn would tell me what he wanted, but I didn’t want to wait to be prompted for every action.  I noticed his soft pink nipples and wondered if he would want me to touch them.

A piece of knowledge that I didn’t know I had flitted through my brain.  It told me that Shawn liked having his nipples teased and that they were sensitive.  I licked the fingers of my left hand and ran the slicked digits over Shawn’s right nipple.  The nub hardened between my fingers like it wanted to be played with.  I teased it more aggressively.

“OH!” Shawn gasped from the stimulation. “Oh my.” He grinned seductively.  Shawn spit in his right hand and closed it around my cock.  His hand was soft, but it held my throbbing member tightly.  He didn’t stroke me as much as he pulled on my cock.  It felt good.

“Is there anything you want to do?” He asked me.

I didn’t have the experience to make suggestions.  I trusted Shawn to do what would feel good. “I’ll do anything you want me to.”

“Do you want to top?” He asked.

I had to think for a second before I knew what he meant.  I knew the terms ‘top’ and ‘bottom’ but I’d never used them in conversation.  Hearing them took me by surprise.  I had a desire to top, but I suspected that Shawn was offering to bottom because it was my first time.  I tried to figure out what Shawn would want and had another flash of knowledge about his desires.  I discovered that Shawn liked to top, but usually bottomed in deference to his partner.

I decided to take a risk and offered myself to him. “No, I want you to top me.”

I knew I’d done the right thing when I felt his excitement increase. “You’d let me top you?” He asked in a voice that sounded like it was full of Christmas morning joy.

I reinforced my request. “I’d beg you to top me.” I said and pinched his nipple.

“OH!” He gasped again. “I want to fuck you so bad!”

It was the first time I’d heard him swear.  His words set me on fire.  I gave them back to him. “I want you to fuck me so bad!”

I felt his lust as I said the words.  We were both on fire with it.  Shawn released my cock and sprung away from me.  I thought I’d done something wrong, but his emotions hadn’t changed.  He hurried from the shower stall and came back with one of the huge, white towels the hotel provided.  He folded it and set it on the floor where it immediately saturated with shower water. “For your knees.” He said and motioned for me to kneel.

I was a little surprised. ‘Just how submissive does he want me to be?’ I wondered to myself.

Shawn must have sensed my apprehension.  He explained. “The first time, it’s easier if you’re on your knees.  You’ll want to be completely relaxed and you can’t do that on your feet.”

I gave into his experienced advice and made my clumsy way down onto my knees.  My joints protested with pain, but I ignored them.  Shawn guided me until I was in position with my knees apart, my ass up, my head down, and my back arched.  He aimed one of the shower heads at me so the hot water flowed over my body to keep me warm.

Shawn knelt behind me with his knees between mine.  He rubbed his hands over my ass and up my back.  He leaned over me, letting the weight of his body rest on mine while he explored my shoulders with his busy hands. “This great, big back.” He breathed in my ear. “This big, broad back is so fucking sexy.”

He leaned away from me before I could say anything.  I felt a glob of his spit land on my hole.  The contact made me quiver.  He rubbed the spit around my hole with his fingers.  “Deep breath, Church.” He commanded.

I took the breath and felt a wave of warmth flood into my ass.  My deep breath left my lungs as a surprised groan of pleasure.  Shawn spit into my hole again.  This time I felt it leak inside me.  “I loosened you with my magic.  It’s not permanent, but it will make this easier.” Shawn followed his spit into my hole with two of his fingers.  My hole welcomed them inside.

I closed my eyes and moaned as Shawn fingered my hole and felt around inside me.  He touched something in my guts that sent waves of simmering pleasure through my whole body. “That’s your prostate.” He explained.

While I was still lost in the sensations of that discovery, he sank a third finger inside me.  Shawn fingered me and rubbed his free hand over my ass cheeks, until he had four of his soft digits inside me. “How do you feel?” He asked.

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” I answered.  I didn’t have any other words to explain the unfamiliar pleasure I felt at having such an intimate spot teased and stimulated.  Pleasure coursed through my body in undulating waves.

Shawn pulled his fingers from my stretched hole.  I felt his excitement rise again and I assumed he was getting ready to fuck me.  Shawn spit in my hole again and pressed the soft head of his cock against me.  He pushed and it sank inside me.  He kept pushing until his entire length slid into me in one steady lunge.  He pressed his hips against my ass and ground them into my body.

I moaned a deep guttural cry that surprised even me.  The invasion of his cock into my no-longer virgin guts felt amazing.  I felt full and connected to him.  When he ground his hips against me, his cock swirled inside me and swiped against my prostate in a way that made my legs shake and my eyes roll back in my head.  Shawn stayed still to let me get used to having him inside me.  He laid across my back again so he could talk directly in my ear.

“How does that feel?” He asked and rolled his hips.

“Soooo…oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck…aaaaaahhhhhhhhh…” I said in response.

Shawn kissed along my shoulder and the back of my neck. “I’m glad you like it.  I’m going to start to move soon, but I have a question before I do.  I really love getting my partner off when I’m inside them.  Can I do that with you?”

He could have asked to bite a chunk of flesh out of my neck, and I would have agreed.  I didn’t see a downside to his request, so I agreed to it without objection. “Any…OH GOD…anything!”

Shawn kissed around my ear and nibbled at it. “Thank you.”

With my permission given, Shawn started to roll his hips.  He fucked me with short, slow strokes that felt amazing.  He worked his hips harder and lengthened his strokes while he kept his weight on me.  His hands gripped at my shoulders and his mouth kissed and licked along my upper back and around my neck.

I loved the feeling of his body on top of mine, and the way his skin stuck to mine and pulled at me as he moved.  I loved knowing it was him inside me and on top of me.  I loved the physical sensations and the full body contact.  I loved the head rush of being desired by someone that I was as attracted to as I was to Shawn.  He fucked me harder and harder until he couldn’t fuck me any harder while his body was on my back.  He pushed himself up so he could fuck my ass with long, hard strokes.

He checked on me constantly. “Are you OK?” He asked me over and over again.

Each time I responded the same way. “Oh, FUCK YES!”

I felt his lust and joy increase each time.  He was thrilled to be giving me what I wanted while he got what he wanted.  Shawn fucked me harder and harder until his emotions started to go haywire and I suspected he was getting close.  He leaned over me again and pushed his hand between my thigh and my gut so he could reach my cock.  He gripped it with a palm slick with spit and jerked me frantically.

I came almost immediately, emptying my balls onto the shower floor in a screaming, mind-blowing orgasm.  Shawn fucked me right through my climax and had his own just as I was coming down from my orgasm high.  I felt his cock thicken as he flooded my ass with shot after shot of thick cum.  He finished and collapsed on my back with his cock still inside me to recover.

“So fucking good.” He hissed in my ear as he caught his breath.

“So fucking good.” I agreed.

The experience had introduced me to a level of pleasure that I didn’t know was possible.  It also thoroughly fried my circuits to the point that I didn’t want to move, even after Shawn had pulled out and climbed off me.  He had to coax me off my knees and onto my feet.  Even then, he had to push my head under a cold running shower before my brains would unscramble enough to start working again.

After that first release, we did other things, things that blew my mind to varying degrees, but none that I enjoyed as much as that first session.  Shawn even convinced me to top him.  He pressed his lithe young body against the shower wall and offered himself to me.  I accepted his offer with enthusiasm.

He guided my cock into his tight, hot hole and pushed back against me as I fucked him for all I was worth.  When my wind failed me and I couldn’t keep the pace up anymore, Shawn took over the motion.  He rammed himself against me over and over until I exploded inside him with another incredible climax.

I sank to the floor, exhausted while the hot shower continued to run over both of us.  Shawn hadn’t gotten off from the fucking I’d given him, so he presented his throbbing cock to my face and suggested I ‘suck it.’  I lapped at it with my tongue until I caught my breath, then gave my first ever blow job.  Shawn seemed to approve of my technique as it didn’t take him long to empty his balls across my tongue and down my throat.

He kissed me after I swallowed his load and grinned a satisfied smile in my face. “You did well.” He complimented me. “Let’s clean up, now.”

I agreed to his suggestion but was still too fried with pleasure to be much help.  Shawn did most of the work to get me cleaned up and dried off.  He had me dress in the too-small robe and a pair of briefs for my modesty.  He also dressed in a robe and guided me to the sitting room couch where we snuggled together to enjoy the afterglow.

That’s how we remained until Shawn broke the afterglow quiet and interrupted my musings with a gentle reproach.  “Stop trying to convince yourself it happened.”

“How do you know that’s what I’m doing?”

“You haven’t taken your eyes off me since we finished drying each other off.  It’s like you think I’ll disappear if you look away.  I feel your disbelief, it’s thick as honey but bitter instead of sweet.  It really happened…and it will happen again, and what we did is only a fraction of what’s possible.” Shawn said through a smirk that I could hear as well as see.

His promise sent an electric thrill through my body.  I was beside myself with joy that this incredibly attractive man would have sex with me, but I still didn’t get it and that worried me.  “Why?” I asked.

“You gave me your jacket.” Shawn explained and let the statement hang in the air like that was all the answer the question required.

I rubbed my neck.  “Your culture has a weird way of repaying favors.” I said and hoped my sarcasm would prompt a more complete response from him.

“Don’t be a silly ass.” He gently scolded. “Don’t you see?  I like you and I’m attracted to you.”

I still didn’t get it.  Having someone admire me, for anything, was such an unfamiliar thing that I was really struggling with how to deal with it.  I suspected that he felt bad for me. “Is it pity?  If it’s pity, just say so.”

Shawn shook his head like he had earlier, hard enough to send his hair falling over his face.  He brushed the hair away and leaned harder against me.  “I like who you are.  You’re brave and you’re kind and you’re physically attractive.”

I stared at him.  I think he sensed that I didn’t believe what he said.  “It’s really simple,” he explained, “you’re big and brave and manly, like when you stood up to those guys on the street, but you’re also thoughtful and kind, like when you saw I was cold and insisted I take your jacket.  That meant so much to me in that moment.

“You were drunk and had just rescued me, but you were focused on me enough to see that I was cold and you gave me your kindness.  You may have acted tough when you did it, but I could tell you really cared about what I’d just been through and how I felt.  Then you trusted me with your car and with your life.  I couldn’t believe it when you just agreed to let me drive your car to wherever I wanted to go.  I couldn’t believe the trust.”

I thought about the trust he’d shown me the night before.  I hadn’t thought about that as being the reciprocation of the trust I’d shown him.  I still didn’t.  “I think you’re reading too much into it.” I said when Shawn paused for a breath.  He, like his uncle, seemed to be making an awful lot out of a string of arguably poor decisions on my part, made when I had way too much whiskey in me.

“I don’t think so.” He argued. “No, I don’t think so at all.  Besides, I think you’re physically attractive as well.”

“You keep saying that, but…” I started to argue but he talked over me.

“I understand why you think otherwise, because of your weight, but that’s something you can change.  I’m not talking about what you see as your flaws.  No…you’ve got this big broad back and those big broad shoulders and those big strong arms…so sexy.  To be completely honest, I’d already decided, when I came to your room last night, I already half-decided to see if you’d have sex with me this morning.  Then, when what happened…happened, and I could feel how badly you wanted me, I decided not to wait any longer.  I hope you didn’t mind.”

‘I hope you didn’t mind.’ I mentally mocked. ‘Nope, sure didn’t.’ I looked at his face and saw that he seemed to be waiting for an answer.  “Uh, no.  I can’t say I ‘minded’ at all.”

Shawn smirked a self-indulgent smile at me.  “You surprised me.  I thought that was your first time with a man.  Some of the things you did, you’re either a natural, or you’ve done that before.”

“I think you did all the work, but I can confirm that was my first time.  I…I got hints I guess you could call them.  Like when I teased your nipple, I knew you’d like that.  I wonder if we shared more than just our memories.  Maybe things we know how to do things that are…I don’t want to say automatic, but things we do without thinking much about, maybe we swapped them too.”

“Like what?” He asked.

I tried to think about something that I knew, that he couldn’t have learned from being on Earth.  I hit on something job related.  “Say you want to start a Murphy welding machine on a cold morning.  The first thing you do is?”

Shawn answered without a moment’s thought. “Turn the ignition on and press the button for the glow plugs.”  He clamped his mouth shut in shock at what he’d said.  “I don’t even know what that means.”

“I’m sure you don’t, but it’s something I would do without thinking about it.”

His mood shifted, from surprised fascination to serious.  “What do we do now?”

“What do we do now?”  I parroted and thought.  “I guess we do what we already planned to do, we save the world.”