Conceived without sin

Drink from my fountain

I didn’t see him that day. He hadn’t come to confession as he did every day. In fact, when I saw him, he told me that since I knew his latest sin, because he had sinned with me, he was shy to tell me and he preferred now to confess his sins straight to God every night in his cell. But he told Him his sins but didn’t look remorseful. He just told Him things like this: Oh, God, forgive me if you think I have sinned, though you know well that I think all I’ve done is honouring a part of your creation. I think I’ve done nothing wrong but if you think it’s sin, forgive me if you can, Jesus.

When I knew, I started doing exactly the same and with very similar words. I was shy to confess with the other monks or with priests of nearby churches, so I started to also have private confessions with God every night in my cell. But I must add that first I masturbated over Lorenzo and it was later that I spoke to God.

So two days after he and I have sinned in my cell I had to go to the nearest village to bring the bread we ate in the monastery. Work was divided between the monks and I was in charge of going to the nearby baker shops. When I came back and before reaching our monastery, I had to cross the river first. And I heard a voice.

-Father Gunther!

I looked attentively and I saw then Brother Lorenzo swimming in the river. I stopped then. It was great to see him swimming there. He came out of the water in that moment. He was swimming in just his briefs. His almost naked body made me erect. Water made everything under his briefs really transparent and for the first time I glimpsed his penis, which as he was coming to the shore to greet me, was getting harder. Oh, brother Lorenzo, what are you doing to me? I’m always erect with you.

He asked me whether I used to do the same he did, i.e. swimming and then I had to answer that I had never learnt and I couldn’t swim. He told me then that he could teach me so I didn’t think twice and removed my habit and he saw me then in just my shorts but as I saw him looking appreciatively at me, my erection was soon totally visible. Even so I got in the cool water and he expertly spent more than half an hour teaching me how to swim. Well, I didn’t become an expert swimmer but I managed to swim with him beside me. It’s impossible to describe how hot it was, and at the same time, how spiritual I found it, to be swimming next to him, both of us very close and almost naked, he in his briefs, me in my shorts. And what a sweet boy he was. He was obviously lusting for me right now too cause he was always erect, but now the only thing that mattered was that I could learn and his expertise made me soon be swimming, tentatively first but with a bit of security as time passed. And what a brave boy he was. Before entering our monastery, he’d spent years lusting for girls. Now he clearly lusted for a boy, myself, and that didn’t shock him. For him it was something quite natural.

Finally we both came out of the water and he convinced me to talk for a while on the shore as our underwear dried and before putting our habits back on. So there we were and both our penises were getting really erect as we talked.

-I hope you let me tell you, Father Gunther, that your body is gorgeous.

-Please brother, since once again we’re having a sinful conversation, let’s call each other again Lorenzo and Gunther.

-Gunther –he told me-, now I can see you almost naked, I know I will have a different fantasy to masturbate over you every night.

-What are you thinking now, Lorenzo? –I asked him, sure that we shouldn’t continue this conversation, but unable to stop him, and my penis clearly telling me I wanted to know this new fantasy.

-Now I will imagine you let me enter your cell again but now you take everything off and let me masturbate not only watching your entire naked body, but also touching everything and you let me go as far as to taste a man’s skin for the first time in my life. And I wouldn’t be shy, I would taste everything, you know what I mean: everything, till I could also drink from your fountain. I imagined heaven with fountains, as you know, and here in the splendor of the river water, I would taste your whole body and drink from your fountain.

-Lorenzo, you know or you must know by now that I devote at least half an hour every night to masturbate thinking about you and now I know I’m also gonna sin as you tell me you’re gonna sin. I must also imagine you naked and masturbate looking at everything in your body and touching and savouring you and drinking from your fountain.

-So again I tell you, Gunther: why don’t we do it? Sin or not, we cannot help it. Just think of the people who don’t believe in God. They do this kind of things and never sin cause for them sin is a meaningless word. We do believe in God, Gunther, but we could just do it, convinced that it’s not sin that we’re doing. Again it can be a tribute to beauty.

-Lorenzo, I still think that it’s sin and that maybe we will burn in hell but I cannot help it. Everything you tell me makes me on fire. So I cannot do any other thing that getting deeper in your lust, which is also my lust. You know that sinning in my cell is dangerous, but ok, we can meet after compline tonight and you can be first, but you must also know that I will do later exactly what you do.

-Can I kiss you again, Gunther?

-You know my answer should be that you shouldn’t, Lorenzo. But you must also know that once I’ve started sinning with you, I cannot stop and I’d love to feel your lips locked in mine again.

So now we spent almost five minutes in our new lust of kissing each other. With his saliva, the freshness of the river water so close to us and the water drops that were still running down  both our naked bodies, everything was humidity. As I kissed Lorenzo again, I knew well or at least I feared that after I died, I would be severely punished but also started to think that as far as I lived, I could never regard as sin the increasing lust we were feeling for each other. We both had the need of getting to know each other better and always be the best of friends. At least I knew I could never get angry at Lorenzo and I really desired to get his simple faith as soon as possible, a nice faith in God but with no images of punishment or hell.

We finally put our habits back on and left. He helped me carry the bread to the monastery. One of our brothers was there at the door and asked us where we came from and Lorenzo told him he’d been teaching me to swim. That’s something we could do as far as it was not at the hour of any mass.

All the masses of that day seemed eternal to me and the preachers used to talk of the devil in all of them. But I saw Brother Lorenzo looking at me and winking at me, as if to calm me down, as if he were telling me: ignore what the preacher says, Gunther, you and I know well we’re doing nothing wrong. Then I looked at him and smiled.

I was quite nervous all the compline mass, knowing tonight we’d sin more dangerously, more deeply than the other day, but at the same time I had no doubts that I would do it; I wanted to do it. I had glimpsed Brother Lorenzo almost nude today and I knew his nudity would now haunt me eternally.

Again I almost ran to my cell after compline and was on the verge of a new heart attack awaiting him and looking forward to having no clothes on for him to enjoy. Finally I could hear a knock on my door. It was him and as he came in, I saw what an erection he had. He desired this new sin as much as I desired it.

Talking again in whispers and carefully and silently locking the door again, now it was me who first went to his slips and kissed him fondly.

-Ok, Lorenzo, we’ll do now what we talked on the river. You know what, Lorenzo? I wish your beliefs start entering me, for now I am starting to believe we’re doing nothing wrong. Just two humans starting to be greater friends. Something as simple as calling each other by our names is making me forget the word sin, at least for tonight. So help me, Lorenzo, help me believe this is again an act of beauty.

-Love, affection or friendship should never be seen as sin, Gunther.

-So ok, Lorenzo, we’re just two beautiful boys who want to add beauty to beauty. Let’s do it –and in that moment I pulled up my habit. I had removed my shorts on purpose when I had entered my cell. So now he saw me buck naked and with an astounding erection.

-You can start, Lorenzo.

He didn’t remove his habit so far, but he certainly showed me his completely hard penis. I had not seen it so far, cause I was lying on my back the day he masturbated over my ass. Imposible to tell how erect I started to get that first time I saw his penis and clearly masturbating looking at me. Oh, Father of Mercy, Greatest Creator of Cosmos, this can’t be sin, this can’t be wrong, for if it is, I know my fate is already sealed. It will be imposible for me anything but desire Lorenzo’s penis after now, preferably like that: masturbating looking at my body. Only three of four minutes, for it was obvious he was eager to touch me. When he began to touch me, I had to yell.

-Lorenzo, you’re so beatiful, so sweet, you are a son of God and my body will always need your hands, so keep on touching me. I’m burning –he was moving his hands up and down my chest and sometimes he touched everything in my face and kissed me. Now his hands came down my legs, came to my feet and removed the socks I had not remembered to remove. Then he slowly touched both my feet till a while later he started to affectionately rub my testicles and touched some of my penis too. I couldn’t help it then and blasted a huge load before him. Now I should feel bad, but I could only think how wonderful it was to have Lorenzo there seeing how I ejaculated and having the new desire to also see him ejaculating. He smiled at me and congratulated me, adding he hoped this act of beauty could be prolonged almost all night. I didn’t feel like sleeping and were I not a monk, I would have asked him to sleep with me that night. But just then he started to move his tongue down my chest.

-Wonderful taste, Gunther. I am remembering now the taste of my girlfriend and your skin tastes just as good. So I hope you allow me to be for hours licking everything.

What if the original sin had never existed? What if we had never been expelled from the Garden of Eden? His tongue was now clearly making me doubt my beliefs, the hardest ones. It was his tongue, his sweetness that curiously increased my faith in God. As far as he was moving his tongue down my body, I could not think of sin; I could only think about His power and His glory. He licked everything, from my arms to my legs down my feet. He also asked me permission to lick my buttocks, that’s all he would do with my ass tonight. I wanted him to also lick my ass, since it was not sodomizing me that he wanted. I turned and his wonderful tongue made my ass soon a bonfire of divine light. I could only sin in my thoughts and even in my words then for suddenly I screamed.

-Hosanna in the highest, you beatiful creature of God.

He asked me to turn now and it was just then that his divine tongue started to savour my testicles. I never wanted to be less hard than I was now. I started to feel then what heaven must be like and having always thought that we would know heaven after we die, with a tongue like his, we could know heaven on Earth.

Just a minute later his wondeful tongue started to lick my whole penis going slowly up. If I had not ejaculated formerly, I would ejaculate then. Strangely, as I was sure I had never allowed anybody a greater sin than sucking my penis, that was the right moment that my faith started to get stronger. I had never believed in God as strongly as in that moment when with total security, Lorenzo swallowed my whole penis. Oh, beautiful father, how is it posible that you wanna burn your children because of things like this? Nothing can be sweeter, nothing could be more appropriate for your children as loving each other. This is what you’ve always taught us, oh God! Love one another just the way I have loved you all. So this is what you want, Sweet Lord, it can’t be wrong. So there i was, mixing divine images with divine words in that moment of total ecstasy when I almost fell God had come down to my bed to bless me.

-From a fountain, cool water comes, Lorenzo, but it is fire that is about to pour, and if you’re still sure, then drink from my fountain, my beautiful Lorenzo.

He swallowed all my nectar and later told me that water was good for physical thirst, but this new water that came from me was good for spiritual thirst. It was wonderful.

Wanting to also know the taste from that other water that could pour from his fountain, I told him now it would be my turn. I wanted to go on creating beauty with him.

It was then that he took off his habit. He was wearing no briefs either and later he took off his socks. Constellations there must be in the universe with a similar perfection. But his whole naked body was a new luminous corner, a nebula, a new constellation. I said all this to Lorenzo, as naked as I still was, I started to masturbate looking at his body. Now it was my turn to give him a well-deserved tribute to his beauty.

O fons divina, his body as a river where I could also swim, for he’d already taught me, bent as Christ in crucifixion, an altar that I needed to worship and I also started to touch, from the hair of his head to his toes, in an endless journey in which there was no spot I didn’t touch as if I was removing his nails and descending him from Calvary. I don’t know how long it was that I touched everything from him. Lorenzo also knew what I desired and turned so I could revel at the touch of his ass, first spot that I licked as if it was the Sacred Host, a new bread for a first Sacred Communication. Then he turned again.

Now of course I had to start devouring his mouth in no hurry, not a pagan, but a holy brother who was starting a new mass, a more sacred mass, because the host was our saliva and we were travelling a new via crucis to redemption.

The time I was unhurriedly savouring his entire body was like I was having the reception of the body of Christ. As I ate Lorenzo, I remembered Jesus had died on the cross, to redeem humanity of the original sin and I started to be sure then that I was not sinning. His sacrifice had been an act of supreme redemption to erase the cruelty of original sin, so I was not sinning, I was just taking one of my brothers down from the cross. And Lorenzo’s chest, his arms, his legs, his feet, were nails being pulled out. I was savouring him with the aim to tell him: o, my most beautiful brother, I’m here puryfing your sins so after now you can always live in the bliss of eternal life on Earth and later in that wonderful second life where we will be allowed to behold Christ’s face and the splendour of heaven.

But Lorenzo had taught me that heaven is full of fountains, so before I could climb up to heaven, I should stop on the road and drink his holy water. So I started for the first time to do the most beautiful thing a human being can do: love his brother just as Christ loves us. And my tongue started at once to move hectically up that gorgeous penis from where holy water would come later to me. And I also had time to sometimes stop at his testicles, at his balls, I should say, for in that moment I started to forget euphemisms forever. It was his balls that I was savouring and then up again to Lorenzo’s dick, yes I say dick, the spring from where his holy water would eventually fall on me to grant me the sacred communication I was expecting. And at long last, I was consecrated, watered from the fountains of heaven, I felt now I was drinking the blood of Christ. The mass had been accomplished.

We kissed each other fondly as thanksgiving, we had finished the mass we were celebrating, both of us had eaten the Eucharist.

He finally got dressed and with a final kiss, he went away and I stayed alone in my cell bed, thinking that what we’d just done was so beautiful that maybe human love had reached me and I should also give myself to him completely as if I were in a new cross and wanted to save him forever from hell and redeem my beautiful brother Lorenzo.

Freedom can move your life and it can be seen even in the hardest conditions, together with love and friendship, happiness and beauty. Have a look at the life of eight beggars who live together at: https://luces-delatierra.blogspot.com/ or in English at: https://lightsoftheearth.blogspot.com/