“I wanted to be normal.”
- Lancelot Bishop
While Lance remembers, the singing from the living room strays into his thoughts.
A-do-nai s'fa-tai tif-tach, u-fi ya-gid t'hi-la-te-cha.
Baruch at atah Adonai:
Ba-ruch a-tah A-do-nai, E-lo-hei-nu vei-lo-hei a-vo-tei-nu, E-lo-hei Av-ra-ham, E-lo-hei Yitz-chak, Vei-lo-hei Ya-a-kov, Ha-eil Ha-Ga-dol Ha-Gi-bor v'Ha-No-rah, Eil El-yon, go-meil cha-sa-dim to-vim, ko-nei ha-kol, v'zo-cheir chas-dei a-vot, u-mei-vi go-eil liv-nei v'nei-hem l'ma-an sh'mo b'a-ha-vah.
Ba-ruch a-tah A-do-nai, ma-gein Av-raham.
A-tah gi-bor l'o-lam, A-do-nai, m'cha-yeh mei-tim a-tah, rav l'ho-shi-a,
ma-shiv ha-ru-ach u-mo-rid ha-ga-shem.
“Yes,“Elias remembers saying, remembers holding Lance to him for the first time with nothing between them, “Yes, I know that you love me. You’re nothing but love, Lance.”
“I’m not. I’m… I’ve done horrible things.”
Beyond the kitchen door in Fenn’s house, Elias hears the voice of Moshe Fromm, hears what he said to Lance in the dark, years ago after the first time they made love.
Moshe had arrived with Laurel and Daniel, and Sheridan arrived an hour before. With the three of them and a reluctant Will, they made four, and now Moshe, no longer Orthodox, had brought his wife for five, Laurel for six, Todd for seven, Melanie for eight and lastly Maia for nine, into Minyan.
M'chal-keil cha-yim b'che-sed, m'cha-yeh mei-tim b'ra-cha-mim ra-bim, so-meich no-f'lim v'ro-fei cho-lim u-ma-tir a-su-rim, u-m'ka-yeim e-mu-na-to li-shei-nei a-far. Mi cha-mo-cha ba-al g'vu-rot u-mi do-meh lach, me-lech mei-mit u-m'cha-yeh u-matz-mi-ach y'shu-ah,
“You’re nothing but love,” Elias insists, holding him, placing his lips on soft hair. “You’re nothing but love.”
A-tah cho-nein l'a-dam da-at, um’la-meid le-e-nosh bi-nah. Cho-nei-nu mei-it'cha choch-mah bi-nah va-da-at. Ba-ruch a-tah A-do-nai, cho-nein ha-da-at.
Only a few minutes ago, the door had opened and Lance came in with Rob on one side and what Elias couldn’t help but think of as the somewhat stupid looking Austin. There was another kid with them though, and Elias frowned. He looked familiar.
“Go into the…” Lance had begun, hearing:
“They’re in the library,” Fenn said, “so tell them to go into the living room.”
Austin and Rob left with the little boy, and Lance said to Elias, “Where’s Dylan?”
“Upstairs with Thack.”
“Oh,” Lance said, taking his hand over his short curly hair so that his skull cap came off in his hand and his brown hair stuck up. “Alright.”
Ha-shi-vei-nu A-vi-nu l'to-ra-te-cha, v'ka-r'vei-nu Mal-kei-nu la-a-vo-da-te-cha, v'ha-cha-zi-rei-nu bit-shu-vah sh'lei-mah l'fa-ne-cha. Ba-ruch a-tah A-do-nai, ha-ro-tzeh bit-shu-vah.
“Lance,” Fenn wondered, “who’s the kid with the big forehead?”
And when he said it he stopped, and Elias stopped and looked at Lance and then Fenn looked at both of them, and Fenn said, “Oh.”
“He’s Allen,” Lance said. “He’s my son.”
When Riley arrived with Nina Turner, they brought the largest, thickest, reddest pot of butter chicken anyone had ever seen, and Brian made a comment about how glad he was that Nina had brought something from her culture, but when Nina laughed, Chad said, of her mother, “Radha can’t cook for her life. This is all Riley, I believe.”
The golden skinned young man nodded and Fenn of his great nephew said, “He is a chip off the old cooking block.”
Rob handed Austin a beer, and it went to his head.
“It is always like this here?” Austin asked him
“Only on the holidays,” Rob said, at first, and then he said, “Well, yes. Yes it is.”
While they were drinking, the front door opened an in came Kenny.
“Rob!” the red headed man greeted him.
“Kenny!” Rob hugged the older man. “Have you met Austin?”
The slight blond boy held out his hand and Kenny shook it.
“I smell Indian food.”
“Don’t look at me,” Radha shrugged.
“I wasn’t even about to,” Kenny said.
“I need a nap,” Rob declared.
“My head hurts a little,” said Austin.
“It comes of being underaged and drinking strong beer,” Radha said, wrapping a shawl about her.
“Don’t be harsh,” her husband said, but Radha said, “No one’s being harsh. I was just remembering.”
“Did I hear something about drinking?” Rob heard his mother as he headed up the stairs with Austin.
“Relax, Deenie,” his dad said. “It’s the holidays.”
“Damnit, Miles.”
Milo looked to Nell, who was sitting in a chair talking to Adele and didn’t look like she wished to be bothered.
“Sometimes you just have to ignore her,” the older woman said.
“Mom.”
“She was always this way,” Nell continued, and shooed the boys upstairs.
“Okay,” Austin said, as they settled in the guest room. “So who is everyone? I think I understand, but I’m not sure.”
“Well, you know my grandmother and my granddad. Even though he’s really her second husband, Bill. He’s the only grandfather I know, and the real one was supposed to be a snake. Then there’s my Aunt Meredith, her husband Uncle Charlie. They’ve each got six kids, but only two kids together, but they’re all my cousins—to me, which is confusing a little because Charlie’s oldest son is married to my older sister.”
“Maggie.”
“Right. And they’ve got two kids. But Maggie is not my mom’s daughter, and they used to hate each other. However, her husband is Dylan’s first cousin.”
“And Dylan is… to you?”
Rob thought about this as they collapsed on the bed.
“Nothing, really. I don’t think. My grandma’s best friend is Liam, Marla and Archer’s grandmother—which means we aren’t related, but it feels like it. But Todd is my grandmother’s brother, and Maia is my cousin, and Todd is married to Fenn who is Adele’s brother and Dylan is his son, so Dylan is Todd’s stepson and Maia’s stepbrother which still, I guess, doesn’t technically make him related to me. Or Fenn. But they’re almost related like… at three or four different points… which makes them related. I think.”
“I always thought you said Dylan was your cousin.”
“What did you say about me?” Dylan’s voice came from down the hall.
“Uh,” Austin sat up as Dylan came into the room, “I was trying to figure our how you and Rob are related.”
Dylan stretched, yawned, frowned, and said, “I don’t think anybody in this house is really related.”
“You’re related to Maggie.”
“Has either one of you seen Thack?” was all Dylan said.
“I think he’s down in the apartment,” Austin said. “He looks kinda bummed.”
“Yeah,” Dylan said. “Well, ’m gonna close the door, okay, Just remember it has a lock.
Dylan shut the door on them, leaving.
“Why’d he say that?” Rob said, even though he stood up and locked the door.
Austin didn’t answer, but he was aware that, whether he knew it or not, Rob was holding him, and his hand had been on Rob’s thigh before he’d heard Dylan. Now he put it back, and Rob didn’t seem to mind. He put his hand up, higher.
“Well, now…. We’re not related,” Austin said.
“Nope,” Rob said, sleepily. “I’m pretty sure we’re not.”
Austin pulled at the zipper to Rob’s khakis, and he opened them up, and then leaning over him, suddenly he pulled Rob into his mouth and Rob made a startled noise.
Austin kept sucking his dick, and there was very little noise in the room, except for a small creaking of the bed.
“Oh!” Rob let out a surprised noise and he felt himself growing larger and harder in Austin’s mouth. Austin pulled on his dick, and the same time the lust in his belly descended, a stinging sensation was behind his eyes. Tears pressed from his lids.
“Austin…” he whispered. “Please…”
Austin stopped long enough to say, “You texted me and said your dick was so hard you want ti sucked.”
“Fuck!” Rob almost cried.
He almost sounded frustrated as Austin’s mouth moved up and down on him, His hand went down to Austin’s hair, soft and silky in his hands. He tugged down his trousers a little and Austin got down on his knees between Rob’s legs.
“Oh,” Rob murmured again. “Oh, fuck. I’m about to.”
His body shuddered while Austin’s hands rested on his thighs. From his belly a thrill rolled down. From behind his balls, going over them stiffening his sack to a round globe, ascended a new thrill. Those two thrills and Austin’s mouth and his hands and the perfection of this day and Dylan closing the door all melted together until he made a faint groan and he pulled Austin’s head closer and spilled into his mouth.
Where there had been only his cock, larger, more firm, more desired than Austin had ever thought until a few minutes ago, now there was heat and honey and salt and then he gagged and coughed, his eyes watering before he swallowed it. Rob was still in his mouth, still hard like a missile, and it was when he began to wilt that Austin got back up onto the bed and Rob pulled up his underwear and then his pants.
Neither of them said anything. Austin pressed himself into the crook of Rob’s arm. And Rob’s arm went about him tighter.
“How was it?”
“I can still taste you,” Austin said.
Then Austin said, as he placed his hand on Rob’s stomach, “What do you want me to do?”
Rob reached into Austin’s pants.
“You’re so fucking hard. I always knew you would be. I want you to feel the same way I did. I want you to feel more.”
Rob looked outside to the grey approaching evening. White flakes were beginning to fall. His hand still embraced Austin’s cock, working up and down on it.
“Austin, are you my friend?”
“Fuck,” Austin murmured, while Rob stroked him. “Suck my cock.”
“I will,” Rob said. “But then I want you to fuck me."
