“You give me a feeling that I never felt before. And I deserve it; I think I deserve it. It’s becoming something that’s impossible to ignore. And I can’t take it. I was wondering, maybe, could I make you my baby? If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy? If you ask me, I’m ready.” Alicia Keys (Un-thinkable)
September 2027
Blair stood there, unsure of what to say or do. He’d never been a bottom for anyone before. The idea was terrifying, but he loved Noah, unlike anyone else. Could he make the ultimate sacrifice in the name of love? Should he make such a sacrifice?
Noah asked, “Well…how deep is your love, Blair?”
Blair didn’t answer. He figured he’d show Noah. He walked towards. Noah held his hand, and Blair froze in his tracks. His brows furrowed as he stared at Noah in confusion. He thought he wanted him. Was it all a joke or something?
Noah said, “I didn’t tell you to move. You move when I say so. Do you understand me?”
The authority and command from Noah sent a rush of joy through Blair. He had never felt such a tingle of sensation and pleasure before. He wanted Noah to go further with his dominant side. The idea of being submissive was a new one that sparked a type of lust Blair had never known before.
“Take off your fucking clothes.”
Blair happily obeyed. He peeled the shirt off his toned body. His pale skin was embedded with traces of Noah’s fingerprints. They were invisible to the eye, but they were there, and he loved it. He kicked his shoes and socks off. His pants dropped to the ground. His gorgeous bulge was on display. He put his thumbs in the waistband of his boxer briefs.
“Leave them,” Noah said. “Come closer.
Blair stepped closer. Noah looked his body up and down. He pushed all his emotions out of his mind. Blair peered through his glasses at Noah. He wanted to be with him more than anything in the world. Silence fell upon them. The room was spinning with anticipation of what was coming next.
“On your knees,” Noah spoke with authority.
Blair slowly lowered himself onto his knees. His heart pounded the entire time. He was taking a deep step. He looked up into Noah’s eyes with a bit of sadness and a lot of infatuation. Part of him couldn’t believe he had consented to give up his anal cherry. The other part of him was nervous and excited about it.
Noah stood in front of him. He cast his heavy eyes upon Blair. He could tell Blair loved him and wanted to please him. Love could make people do things they never dreamed about. This was a prime example of that. The look in Blair’s eyes spoke to just how far he was willing to go in the name of love.
Noah leaned down and kissed him as he slowly stroked Blair’s cock through his underwear. The kisses turned more passionate as they carried on. Blair’s cock began to grow and thicken. Noah got on his knees and pulled Blair’s swollen missile out. He ran his tongue across the tip and then wrapped just his lips around the head.
Blair praised him, “God, that feels amazing.”
Noah’s eyes made contact with Blair’s. He moaned as he took more of the throbbing penis down his throat. He used slow and deliberate methods on Blair’s cock. Despite his anger and rage, Noah couldn’t resist the taste of Blair. He swallowed more of Blair’s large cock. He worked it deep into his mouth, making it turn red and angry.
Noah stood up, and Blair helped him undress. Once he was naked, he bent over and presented his ass to him. Blair got behind him and spread his cheeks. He pressed his lips against Noah’s puckered hole and began to eat him out. He slowly lapped at the hole, making sure he nursed it perfectly.
Blair darted his tongue in and out of Noah. With his tongue and spit, he opened him up. He pulled away and admired the chocolate bud. It was dripping wet and ready for him. Blair dived back in and began to slurp and suck on it. Noah let out a soft moan as he wiggled his cheeks. Blair’s tongue slid inside of him and tapped his walls.
Noah looked back and said, “Tease me with your dick!”
Blair quickly responded, “Yes, sir!”
Blair stood up and placed the head of his cock at Noah’s entrance. Noah pushed back, and the head breached his hungry hole. Blair inched his cock in and then pulled it out. He pushed against the hole again. The head of his cock slipped inside Noah once again. Inch by inch, it slowly disappeared inside of him. He drove himself deeper until every inch was buried inside of Noah. He held himself still. His thighs were pressed against Noah’s, and his pelvis was up against Noah’s cakes.
“Fuck, your ass feels amazing,” Blair moaned.
Very cocky, Noah said, “I know.”
Blair drew his cock about halfway out and then back inside of him. He slowly began to fuck Noah with slow strokes. He wanted to pound him and break his back in half. That was just how intense his feelings were for Noah. Blair wanted him to feel the love in his every movement.
Noah closed his eyes tightly as Blair continued to invade his body. Something happened that he didn’t expect. He could see Matthew on his hands and knees getting fucked by Blair. All the pleasure suddenly vanished from his body. The world felt cold and lonely. It was as if he was suddenly void inside.
“NO,” he shouted as he jumped.
As Noah jumped, the two bodies came undone. Blair stumbled backward and hit the table. The remote fell on the floor. The home suddenly was filled with a song that Noah hadn’t heard in years. “You” by Jesse Powell began to play. The bass was so loud it vibrated through the walls. As the music played, Noah was transported back in time as he stared off into space.
Flashback: Prom 2006
Noah walked outside and stopped in his tracks. A horse-drawn carriage was outside, and a young man wearing a mask stood in a tux holding some roses. The man pulled the mask off, revealing himself to be Matthew. Noah’s heart was instantly filled with joy. He had chopped off his long curls. His hair was still curly but blondish and lined up.
“Matthew? Oh my God, you cut your hair,” Noah was stunned.
Matthew smiled, brushing his hair. “You don’t like it?”
“You look good either way. What are you doing here?”
“I heard you didn’t have a prom date, so I showed up because you’ve always shown up for me. I will always show up for you because you’re my favorite person.”
Flashback: 1 St Time on Prom Night 2006
Noah pulled away from Matthew. They stood before each other with bare souls. Noah took Matthew’s hand and escorted him off the dance floor. He led Matthew into one of the empty cabin rooms. The cabin was clean and spacious. A neatly made king-size bed faced a window with an ocean view.
“If you don’t love me anymore, you could have said it up there, Monty.”
“I didn’t want the first time I said it to be drowned out by loudspeakers. I love you, Mateo.”
“You love me?”
“I do. I’ve loved you since the first day I met you.”
Matthew smiled and pulled Noah into a hug and then a kiss.
“I’ve been miserable without you, Monty. I feel like I’ve missed so much. Tell me everything.”
“Later.”
Noah kissed Matthew and started to unbutton his shirt. Matthew stopped him.
“Are you sure? We don’t have to do anything. I’m just happy to be here with you, Monty.”
Noah dimmed the lights in the room and turned on the one song that he knew could express how he felt about Matthew. “You” by Jesse Powell began to play.
“I’m beyond sure,” he said as he resumed kissing Matthew.
The kiss slowly evolved into passion and desire. They started to undress one another. Matthew couldn’t get enough of Noah’s kisses. His tongue worked its way into Noah’s mouth, and his hand gripped his glutes.
Break in Flashbacks
“Noah,” Blair called. “Noah, what’s wrong?”
Noah looked at Blair. His eyes filled with tears. He wanted so badly not to think about Matthew. He wished he could turn it all off. It was that damn song. That song that he and Matthew declared their love for each other to and then had sex for the first time.
“Turn it off,” Noah shouted.
Blair quickly picked up the remote. He tried repeatedly and frantically to shut the song off. The music kept playing. The bass grew more intense. A picture fell off the wall. Noah glanced over at the photo. It was a picture he had taken with his mother during her first battle with cancer. The thought of her in the hospital took him back to the day she died. She had whispered something in his ear, and those words were now playing at his heart like the strings on a guitar. He closed his eyes and was right back there in that moment in time with her.
Flashback: April 2027 Vivian’s Deathbed
Noah entered the hospital room. Vivian was sleeping peacefully. Cliff greeted him and exited the room to give him time alone with his mother. MJ had opted not to be there. He couldn’t bear to see Vivian in pain, so he was off with Matthew. As for Matthew, he had come the day before to say his goodbyes.
Noah took a seat next to his mother. She felt her son in the room. She opened her eyes and saw his face, which made her smile. Tears rolled down his face.
“Noah, my beautiful boy, the worst things that can happen to you have already happened. I can see your life, and it’s beautiful no matter what. You have loved, lost, and found. Don’t be afraid,” she said as she pulled him closer. “Come closer. I have to tell you a secret.”
Noah leaned in closer. Vivian whispered something in his ear that his heart was not yet ready to receive, but his mind heard it and stored it away for the perfect time. Tears slowly rolled from both their eyes.
She whispered, “I can see him in you. You’re clothed in his skin and smell. I see you in him. You mourned him for ten years. You died when he died, and now you live because he lives. He’s your first and last love. You both have made mistakes and have so much more growing to do, but you have to do it with each other. I was wrong when I told you to move on from him. Matthew is the one. He always has and will be. Be happy and in love, my sweet, beautiful boy.”
Break in Flashbacks
The words Vivian spoke penetrated Noah’s tough exterior. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks. He looked at his reflection, and slowly, his image faded. He didn’t fade away, but he faded into Matthew. It was a shock to him. He touched his face, expecting to be touching Matthew. It was both a relief and a disappointment when he realized he was touching himself.
“I can’t turn it off. What the fuck is wrong with this thing,” Blair shouted in the background.
Noah confessed, “It’s the universe. It’s working against us. It’s pulling me like always.”
“What?” The confusion was evident in Blair’s voice.
Blair dropped the remote. He stared at Noah through the mirror. He could tell something was off. He approached Noah with love and concern in his heart. He stood directly behind him and placed his hand on his shoulder. Noah turned around and stared him in the eyes. Only as he looked at him, all he could see was Matthew and how they felt the first night Matthew came back without his memories. Even then, there was a force drawing them together. Noah was transported right back to that night.
FLashback: January 2026, the Night Matthew Came Back
Just as Noah stood at the edge of the stage, “Un-Break My Heart” started to play on the overhead system. Noah looked around. He was amazed to hear the song after mentioning it in his story. The irony was not lost on the crowd, who started laughing.
Noah anxiously scanned the room. The crowd suddenly parted like the Red Sea for the children of Israel. Standing there, dressed casually yet beautifully, was someone he hadn’t expected.
His face was rounder, but his lips were still red. Those long curls were gone, and his hair was cut low and slick. Despite all of the changes and the fact that it had been ten years since they had last seen one another, there was no mistaking who it was.
Just above a whisper, he uttered, “Mateo?”
The crowd gasped at the revelation. Noah’s brain couldn’t handle it. It was too much to process. Just as he called out to Mateo, he passed out on the stage!
Matthew’s blood surged. He grabbed a handful of snow and threw it at Noah. The snowball hit Noah right in the face. Noah was shocked that Matthew had hit him with the snow.
For a moment, they stood silently. Then Noah grabbed some snow and hit Matthew. A snowball fight erupted between the two. Matthew started to get the best of Noah. Noah tried to run, and Matthew followed behind him.
They ran down the empty streets laughing. Noah stopped running from him. He ran towards Matthew and hit him with the snow as if it were a pie in the face. Matthew picked Noah up, and they fell in the snow. They rolled around like innocent children. They came to a stop, and Noah was on top of Matthew. Matthew tried to sit up, but Noah pushed him back in the snow. He refused to get off him.
Laughing, Matthew asked, “Are you gonna let me get up?”
“Not till you know what happened wasn’t anyone’s fault. I was a depressed kid, still haunted by my dad’s death. We were kids, Mateo. I needed help, and you couldn’t have saved me. I had to save me.”
Matthew stared into Noah’s eyes. Suddenly, being called Mateo felt right. Slowly, he found himself slipping into a place of comfort. A familiar peace wrapped itself around him, and it scared him. He quickly flipped Noah. They laughed and lay together, side by side, making snow angels.
Noah pulled his phone out. “Let’s get a picture for proof before you run away again.”
For some reason, Matthew pulled Noah’s head into his chest. Noah was surprised but happy. They both smiled, and the camera flashed. It was a perfect picture of love.
“I ran because I got scared. Listening to our story...it sounds like you always showed up for me, and I never showed up for you.” Matthew said with a stillness to his voice.
“We showed up for each other.”
“Why me? What was it about me?” Matthew asked as he stared at the stars.
“Look at me.” Matthew looked at him. Noah touched his beautiful face. They both exhaled.
Noah said, “The first time I laid eyes on you, it took my breath away. Even now, you still take my breath away. It was always you, and it always will be you.”
Noah grabbed Matthew’s coat. The sudden movement startled him. Noah pulled Matthew on top of him and locked him in with his legs. For some reason, Matthew felt safe with him.
“You’re still my favorite person, even if you never remember it,” Noah said tenderly.
Matthew touched Noah’s face. That feeling of peace that frightened him earlier came back. Instead of fighting it, he let it wrap him in the warmest hug he had ever felt. The desire to kiss Noah burned in his heart. He couldn’t resist. Their lips connected briefly. Then their lips met again, and it felt like a million lips were kissing him.
End of Flashbacks
The song finally ended. A smile slowly formed on Noah’s face. He had been so angry that he had forgotten just how much he loved Matthew. They could be toxic and, at times, volatile. Despite it all, there was something between them that was stronger and greater than the sum of their two parts. Whatever it was, it kept pulling them back together. There was no use in fighting it. Instead, they needed to learn to grow with it and together.
“I have to go,” Noah said, almost in disbelief of what was happening.
“What,” Blair asked. “Go where?”
Noah began to quickly pick his clothes up and slip them on. Blair watched with no clear idea of what was happening. He wanted to stop Noah. He wanted him to explain what was happening. They had just gone from this interesting sexual dynamic to nothing. It was highly confusing.
“Noah, where the fuck are you going,” he asked.
“You know where I’m going, Blair,” Noah answered as he slipped into his pants.
The admission, while truthful, stung. As much as he wanted to fight and scream, he knew it was of no use. Noah would always pick Matthew first. That was the price anyone who dared love Noah would be willing to pay. The same was true for Matthew. He’d always pick Noah over any and everyone. That was who they were, and that was what they did.
“You don’t have to go. You don’t have to pick him, Noah.” The hurt and rage in Blair’s voice weren’t enough to change anything.
“Maybe I’d be willing to fight harder against it if you hadn’t…” Noah’s voice trailed off.
“If I hadn’t, what,” Blair asked.
With a head shake, Noah said, “It doesn’t matter. It’s not important. Not anymore. The past can’t be changed, and the future is still yet written.”
Blair’s voice trembled, “What does that even mean? Noah, don’t leave me. I love you.”
“It’s not about your love for me. It’s the fact that I’ll never love you, or anyone for that matter, the way I love him.” Noah’s words felt hollow to Blair, but deep down, he knew they were true.
Twenty-Four Hours Later
“Un-thinkable” by Alicia Keys was playing in the half-empty bar. Matthew was trying his best to move on with his life. He wasn’t exactly sure how to do that. For months, Noah wanted him to remember their love and life together. The moment he remembered, he lost Noah to a coma. Then he woke up only to pick Blair. It seemed unfair, considering that they both had slept together behind Noah’s back.
Matthew felt a shift in the energy in the room. He wasn’t sure what to call it, but he could always tell when Noah was close by. He could feel his heart beating from miles away. He slowly turned around, and across the room, he saw him. Noah’s eyes were searching and scanning for something or someone. He hoped he was the thing Noah was looking for. Why else would he be in New York when he should be in London with Blair?
Their eyes met. Matthew felt his heart skip a beat. He tried to fight back the smile that wanted to form. He needed to hear the words before he celebrated. Noah walked across the bar. He moved fast, almost like he was running on air. The two came face to face.
“Hey, you,” Noah spoke.
Matthew replied, “Hey. You’re either a long way from home, or I’m dreaming.”
“Or maybe I’m just where I’m supposed to be.”
Silence fell upon the two of them. It was the longest minute of both of their lives. Their eyes searched the soul of one another. Deep beneath all the hurt, pain, tears, and fears, they found that familiar place again. They found that place that had always belonged to them. A sense of peace washed over the both of them.
Noah asked, “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Always,” Matthew whispered almost. He was afraid to sound overly anxious or confident.
“I love you tomorrow like I love you today,” Noah said as he took Matthew’s hand. “I love you today like I’ve loved you my entire life.”
Noah placed Matthew’s hand on his heart. Matthew could feel how fast Noah’s heart was beating. His own heart was beating just as fast. Matthew could feel the power of love flowing through the both of them. How could they not spend the rest of their lives loving one another? They fit together perfectly.
“Can I tell you one,” Matthew asked softly.
“Yes.”
Truthfully, Matthew revealed his secret, “I thought I had lost you forever. I was so scared to face the rest of my life without you, Monty.”
“Let’s not think about forever. Let’s just enjoy today…Mateo!”
Noah wrapped his arms around Matthew’s neck. They inched their faces closer together. Their lips connected, and for the first time, they were together without any secrets between them. Even with no secrets between them, the road to an everlasting, healthy, loving relationship was still about to be one filled with uncertainty and obstacles. I hope you’re ready. The next phase of it all begins now….
TO BE CONTINUED
© Grayson Rose 2024. All rights reserved.
