“Ask for forever when the end is in sight. Showing what you want to. We’re looking for light inside an ocean of night. But will we ever see it through? And I need you to know I’m not asking for a miracle. But if love is enough, could you let it show? If you feel it, could you let me know? I’m not asking for a miracle.” -CHVRCHES (Miracle)
September 2027
Ishmael couldn’t believe his ears. He was dumbfounded, flabbergasted, and irate. Everything he’d gone through with Noah and Matthew could have all been avoided. If only she had told someone that day all those years ago.
“Well…do you want him, Ishmael? It’s a very simple question,” she asked.
Ishmael collected himself and asked, “Bev, what’s your endgame here?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I want my brother to be happy. He’s happy with Noah. I admit that I’m not a fan of Noah, but my brother loves him. Also, I want Matthew to suffer. Knowing he can’t have Noah will make him suffer,” she answered. Her words were cold. There was no emotion behind her eyes.
“Why? All because he left you for Noah? You guys were in high school. It’s been, what…twenty years? You have to let it go and move on.”
“You don’t get to put a timeline on my pain. You weren’t there. You never felt what I went through.”
Ishmael sighed and rolled his eyes. It was true he wasn’t there. He knew their pain was different. He also knew holding on to it would only cause more hurt and anguish.
“Let’s say I do want him. Why would he give up on Noah?”
She laughed, “Because I know the dirty secret. He slept with my brother.”
Ishmael gagged, “Matthew and Blair slept together. Oh my God! My heart breaks for Noah.”
Ishmael clutched his chest. Noah had been through more than any one person should ever experience. Despite the animosity between the two, he would never gloat in someone else’s misery.
“Don’t look so heartbroken. Noah is no saint. He is, unfortunately, collateral damage, but if he knew about Matthew and Blair, he’d thank me for this.”
Ishmael paused for a moment and then said, “If Matthew cheated, that means it was well after he had left you for Noah. Why are you really upset about it? What did he do to you?”
She raised her eyebrow. It was obvious to her that Ishmael was smarter than he appeared. He was asking all the right questions and not falling for any of the bullshit.
“He abandoned me when I needed him the most,” she said as she stared off into the distance. The memory filled her with sorrow. She still lived with the consequences of everything.
Thanksgiving 2005
Bev had grown tired of this picture. She knew then that no matter what, Matthew would always love Noah. No one else would ever be enough for him. She couldn’t keep trying to hold on to someone who didn’t want to be held.
“It’s been two months, and you still care more about him than me. I’m never going to be enough for you, am I?” It was more of a statement instead of a question.
“I’m sorry, Bev. I tried.” Matthew’s voice slightly softened as he apologized.
Was he sorry? Had he really tried? It didn’t matter because the truth of the matter was so obvious. Bev was a constellation prize. Matthew never wanted her. Even when he took her virginity just two months ago, it was all done as a reaction—a reaction to Matthew’s growing feelings for Noah.
Bev left the house not long after Rosa put Matthew out. For hours, she walked the streets crying before finally returning home. It was painful to feel like your two favorite guys preferred someone else over you. Blair was her older brother, and he had opted to stay in California for Thanksgiving with Noah. Matthew was her boyfriend. The one guy she had been crushing on her entire life, and he wanted Noah more than he wanted her.
“Mom,” she called out as she stepped into the house.
“Sweetie, you’re home early, her mother said as she stepped into the foyer.
Her mother quickly recognized the pain. Her daughter stood there on the verge of a complete meltdown. Just as Bev’s knees gave away, she quickly sprung over to her. It was like she leaped into the air. She moved quickly and caught her daughter in her loving arms.
“Bev, what’s wrong, sweetie,” she asked in a loving and nurturing voice.
“He doesn’t want me,” she sobbed.
“Oh baby, I’m so sorry.”
“Mom, don’t be mad. I’m pregnant,” she cried ever harder as the words left her lips. “I don’t want to be pregnant.”
Her mother soothed her, “Hush, my sweet baby. I’ll take care of everything. I promise.”
She had planned to tell Matthew the good news that night. It seemed now that he’d never know, and she could no longer stomach the idea of carrying his child. Matthew took her virginity that beautiful night in September, and he left her with what she thought was a gift of their love. No, instead, it would be a reminder of what she lost.
January 2006
The soft beeping sound of the monitor in the sterile hospital room brought Bev out of her post-op slumber. Her eyes fluttered open. She squinted her eyes from the light above her.
As she turned slightly in the bed, she winced. A sharp pain ran through her abdomen. It served as a quick reminder of the procedure she’d undergone earlier. Her eyes landed on her. She was sitting in a chair next to the bed. Her mother’s eyes betrayed the calm, relaxed demeanor she had. Something was wrong.
“Mom,” Bev called out.
“I’m here,” she responded as she stroked Bev’s forehead with the love only a mother could provide.
Bev asked, “What’s wrong?”
With a gentle but firm voice, she answered, “I want you to know that no matter what, I will always be here for you. You are never alone, and darkness can only consume us for so long.”
“Mom, you’re scaring me,” Bev’s voice cracked as she spoke.
“There were some complications during the procedure.”
“What kind of complications,” she asked as she tried to sit up in bed.
Her mother swallowed hard, “There was some bleeding. They weren’t able to save your uterus.”
“My uterus,” her voice was weak and cracking, “what does that mean?”
“You’ll never be able to have another baby. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
The gravity of the situation slowly sank in. Her eyes widened, and tears began to fall from her beautiful face. She moved her hands to her abdomen. It was like she was trying to confirm her loss. She opened her mouth to speak, but the only sound that escaped her was a wail of emotions.
Her mother wrapped her arms around her. She wanted to provide her with all the comfort in the world. Only there was nothing no one could say or do that would ever ease the pain she felt. She had aborted her first child only to learn she could never have another. Had God punished her? Why did she fall for the wrong boy? Could any out her back together again?
September 2027
She sat stone-faced. Ishmael’s heart broke for her. She had been through a lot. It was obvious she had never processed her grief and trauma. Bev had taken it and turned it into rage and anger. It was all directed towards Matthew.
“Bev, I’m sorry,” Ishmael said as he placed his hand on top of hers.
“Why,” she asked as she snatched her hand back. “It’s not your fault. That day, I saw him, and I called his name and realized he didn’t know me. I was so happy. He was going to spend the rest of his life in misery over never knowing who he was. Now he knows. The only justice left is he gets to watch Noah love my brother.”
“He didn’t make you get an abortion. He didn’t even know,” Ishmael said, trying to reason with her.
Bev said coldly, “You think it would have mattered? He didn’t even care about the child he had with Luka. Matthew is a piece of shit. I’m so tired of all the penises in the world defending HIM! His dick isn’t that good. I was the first to have it, remember?”
“You were, but he didn’t love you. He loved us and it hits differently when love is involved.”
“You’re a waste of my time, Ishmael. I had high hopes for you,” she said.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” he said as he stood up from the table.
Ishmael arrived outside his home and found MJ sitting out front on the steps. MJ stood up when he saw Ishmael. Their eyes lingered on one another. That attraction between them was still there.
Ishmael sighed, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in New York for the opening of the club?”
MJ breathed, “I was. Everything was going good. My dads are probably somewhere reuniting…maybe. I couldn’t help but think that I really want to be here with you. So, I took a flight.”
“MJ, we can’t. We could hurt a lot of people if they found out.”
“If. No one has to know. It could just be between us. Just one night to see what this really is.”
Ishmael rolled his eyes, “You’re not going to leave until I say yes, right?”
“Right,” MJ said with a sweet smile that showed off his dimples.
There was nothing left to do but go for it. MJ had been lusting after Ishmael for a bit of time now. It seemed that everything was always in their way. Not now. Not anymore. It was time for them to finally explore one another. MJ stepped closer to Ishmael. He could see the rise and fall of Ish’s bare chest. His near-naked wet body looked like a delight. The only thing covering him was that damn towel around his waist. Oh, how MJ wanted to remove that towel.
“You can’t look at me like that, MJ,” Ishmael whispered. He knew he needed to say it, but he didn’t want to say it.
“Like what,” MJ asked.
Ishmael exhaled, “Like you want to fuck me.”
“I don’t,” the young lad said.
Ishmael looked away, “Oh!” He sounded defeated. All those encounters where he thought there was sexual tension and chemistry were apparently nothing.
“I want us to fuck each other,” MJ corrected him.
Ishmael quickly looked back at him. He couldn’t hide his smile nor contain his joy. MJ stepped to him. He placed his soft hands on Ish’s chest. He could feel the beating of his heart, and it felt magical. They leaned into one another, and their lips touched. The kiss grew intense with each passing second.
MJ pulled the towel off Ish, exposing his uncut cock. He wrapped his hand around and began to gently stroke Ish. The older gent’s mouth fell open as the younger one brought him joy. He couldn’t believe that MJ was there and that he was finally touching him. The whole thing just felt entirely surreal.
Ish fell back on the bed, and MJ crawled between his legs. He admired the size of Ishmael’s erect cock. It was the second one he’d seen. The first one being Cooper. The sight of Ish’s penis brought a certain warmth to him that he didn’t know existed and was missing from his life.
MJ rolled his tongue over the head of it and then down the shaft. Ish’s moans pleased his ears and then he took the rest of it into his mouth. The taste was incredible to the buds in his mouth. Ish ran his fingers through MJ’s thick curls as his body filled with pleasure.
“Oh fuck,” Ish moaned softly.
“It tastes so good,” MJ informed him.
He went back to sucking Ish’s cock. His tongue twirled around the foreskin. He worked the shaft with his hand, twisting it and tugging on it. He wanted to ensure that Ish would always remember their night together.
Ish said, “I want you naked.”
MJ quickly stripped out of his clothing. The moment he was naked, Ish put him on his back. MJ lifted his legs and exposed his pretty hairless hole to him. Ish ran his hand across the wrinkled flesh and made MJ moan. Ish stuck his tongue out and swiped it across the tight ring. It was a glorious taste.
Ish buried his face in MJ’s cheeks. His tongue pushed inside of him and opened his tightness up. He ran a finger across the pucker and applied pressure. Then he resumed darting his tongue in and out of MJ’s hole. The moans grew loud in the room. They echoed through the empty halls of the home. He worked his hole over, making sure to leave it dripping wet.
“I could eat you for forever,” Ish told him as he looked up into his eyes.
Ish took MJ’s impressive cock in his hands and then placed it in his talented mouth. MJ squirmed with delight. Ish locked his jaws and moved his head up and down the shaft. He completely deep-throated him. Then he ran his tongue over those swollen balls and back across his hole.
Ish pressed his finger inside of MJ’s tight chute. Slowly, he worked his finger in and out of him. MJ’s eyes rolled slightly. His body was burning up with pleasure and anticipation. He wanted Ish. He’s lusted after him for far too long. It was time to fulfill his fantasy.
“Put it in me. Please,” MJ begged. He had never wanted something so badly in all his life.
Ish smiled. He had waited months to hear those words. He placed the head of his cock against MJ’s hole. He rubbed the head around the ring of his anus. Then he pushed against it. It was a slow tease that eventually built to the right moment. Ish pressed forward, and the head of his cock popped inside of MJ.
“Oh fuck. It’s so big,” MJ exclaimed.
Ish whispered, “You’ll have bigger.”
“I only want you,” he said back.
That was enough to send Ish on his mission. He started to slowly move in and out of MJ’s hole. MJ’s insides were hot and tight. It provided just what Ish had been missing and wanting. MJ lifted his legs back, and Ish picked up his pace a bit. He started to go deeper inside of him. His cheeks flexed as his cock moved in and out of MJ.
He started to really drill him as MJ’s hole loosened up for him. He pulled out and flipped him onto his knees. He slid his cock back inside the bubble butt. He was able to go deeper, and MJ felt tighter. Ish wrapped his arms around MJ’s chest and glided in and out. His dick moved freely and without restraint. He began to really pound and clap MJ’s cheeks. They both were moaning and panting. The experience was so hot and passionate.
“Fuck me,” MJ pleaded. His voice was that of a man who knew what he wanted.
He drove deeper inside of MJ. You could hear the clapping sounds of their bodies meeting and smashing together. It was so good for both of them. Ish hadn’t been a top in so long. He was afraid he wouldn’t last long, but the moment he slid inside of MJ, he knew he was going to fuck him all night long. Their bodies felt connected. Ish started giving him long, deep strokes. Each stroke was better than the previous one. MJ’s cut cock leaked precum all over the bedspread.
“You ready to fuck me,” Ish asked.
Excitedly, MJ replied, “Hell, yes.”
Ish pulled out of him. MJ laid on his back, and his dick stood straight up in the air. A clear sign of how turned on he was. Ishmael straddled him and eased himself down on MJ’s thick cock. MJ’s cock pushed past Ish's ring as the anus lips wrapped around his cock. He sat completely in MJ’s lap. Every inch was buried deep inside of him.
Ish began to bounce up and down on MJ’s dick. The feeling was exquisite to MJ. He felt so alive and special. He slapped Ish on the ass. Ish bounced up and down faster. They both were breathing hard and moaning. MJ’s hips took over, and he started to buck them. He fucked up into Ish, claiming his tight hole.
“Oh fuck me, MJ,” Ish moaned out.
MJ grabbed hold of Ish’s cheeks and began to hammer away at him. He pushed himself deeper inside of him. Ish threw his head back and let MJ have his way. He rode him without any care in the world. All that mattered was how great they felt to one another. MJ flipped him over, and Ish landed on his back. He spread his legs, and MJ slid back inside of him.
The tight ring clamped around MJ’s shaft. He began to stroke Ish’s cock as he fucked him. His body rocked back and forth. His cock felt like it grew thicker inside of Ishmael’s hole. He started to pound him harder and deeper. Ish’s moans grew louder and louder. Their lips locked. Sweat poured off them. Their bodies sang praises.
MJ pulled out and straddled Ish. He wanted to be fucked again. He eased down on it, and his face lit up when Ish breached his pucker once again. He rocked back and forth on Ish’s cock slow at first, and then he quickened his pace. Ish started to fuck up into him faster and deeper.
MJ’s cheeks bounced as they fucked. His cheeks had ripples running through them. His body had never known such pleasure. It was life-changing in more ways that way. Ish pounded up into him harder and deeper. Each stroke made MJ’s cock leak more precum. It was deep and hot. They knew this couldn’t just be a one-time thing.
Ish laid claim to MJ. MJ bounced harder and faster. He planted himself down in Ish’s lap and wiggled his body side to side. They both let out a deep moan. The experience was far more intense than either one of them thought it would be. The end rapidly approached. Both of them could feel their cocks swell with cum.
“I’m gonna cum,” MJ cried.
He stroked his fat rod as he rode Ish. Within a matter of seconds, his cock erupted. Ish opened his mouth and swallowed some of MJ’s cum. Ish pushed his dick deep inside of MJ, past his second hole, and flooded his gut with hot semen.
“SHIT,” Ishmael breathed.
The deed was finally done. The question left to be answered was whether they were better people for it or had they just made a bigger mess of any already messy situation. Only time will tell.
Noah had finally made it to London. The entire flight had replayed everything Matthew had spoken to him over and over again. Nothing felt real. He was numb inside. The only thing that made life feel real was the sound of music. He sat in his study with a stiff drink in his hand, listening to “Miracle” by CHVRCHES. As the music played, he wondered if love was ever enough.
“Hey,” Blair’s happy voice interrupted the music. “I didn’t know you made it home already.”
“I know,” he replied calmly.
Blair asked, “Everything ok?”
Noah looked off in the distance for a moment. A visual of Blair fucking Matthew flashed before his eyes. A particular kind of pain raced through his heart. He quickly shook it off. He didn’t want it to show.
“How much do you love me,” he asked Blair.
Blair blushed and answered, “More than I can ever put into words.”
“Show me then,” he said as he took a sip of his drink.
“How would you like for me to show you,” Blair asked seductively. He was always ready to make love to Noah.
Noah narrowed his eyes, “Give me what you’ve never given anyone else. Let me top you. Show me that I am the only one for you.”
Blair stood there, unsure of what to say or do. He’d never been a bottom for anyone before. The idea was terrifying, but he loved Noah, unlike he loved anyone else. Could he make the ultimate sacrifice in the name of love?
Noah asked, “Well…how deep is your love, Blair?”
If love is a well that runs deep, then heartbreak is an ocean with depths unknown. The deeper the scar, the more intense the pressure is. We all know what happens when water pressure is too intense...crushed! So, how does this heartbreak go? Only Noah can truly say!
TO BE CONTINUED
© Grayson Rose 2025. All rights reserved.
