Embracing the slut inside me

Howie finally relaxed for the first time in a couple of days as he opened the door and went into the flat, in Brooklyn, he shared with Matt, Bobby and Lucas. They were all out when he got there, no doubt at work, and it allowed him time to unpack and think about what had happened. He had no choice but to get out of Sherrill after Darius betrayed him and failed to go through with what they had agreed. He realised now he should have considered that Sophie might not want her wedding upstaged and he was sorry for that, but that punch from Joe, his black eye, and that torrent of abuse from Sophie meant Darius had also destroyed that friendship for him too. His boss was not too pleased with him either. Howie called him planning to say he was leaving early as the men had all the remaining work in hand but Peter was furious with him having just got of the phone with a furious Mr Meyer threatening to withhold payment if he ever caught sight of Howie again. If Howie hadn't been so cute and put out for Peter so many times already then he would have fired him on the spot but he knew about Darius and had worked out what was going on so he just insisted Howie get his ass back to New York immediately.

Howie was just sitting down to a coffee when he heard the door and in walked Matt. Matt was almost a mirror image of Howie, and inch shorter at five foot six but the same feminine sleek build, and annoyingly if anything slightly cuter than Howie with a killer smile that certainly attracted the attention of more men than him. But, it was not only in the height department Howie had the edge on Matt, Howie's dick was a good half inch longer and he never let him forget it even nicknaming him Stubby.

"Hey Howie, you're back, great to see ya bud", Matt said

"Hiya Stubby", Howie replied, "great to see you too, I miss ya."

Matt headed over to Howie to kiss him but seeing his eye said, "What happened there bro? You okay?"

"Yeah", Howie sighed, "Just a stupid mistake but it's over now and I'm fine. But enough about me what about you, what you been up to and please tell me it has not all been work, work, work."

Matt explained that he was, as usual, between boyfriends but was good. Bobby and Lucas, their other flatmates, were working a job upstate in Rochester so were only back every other weekend but that were due back today and should be here any minute. Then, as if on cue, there was a key in the door and in strode Lucas followed by Bobby. Bobby was second generation Chinese American and stood just under five foot four. He was a total twink. Lucas was bulkier and more muscular filling out his five foot eight frame and with a thick seven and half in dick to match that Howie, Matt and Bobby all knew, from personal experience, he put to good use.

"Hi Howie, nice to have you back", Lucas said the went on, "Nice to have all my boys back together."

Lucas considered himself the leader of their little group and the others were happy to go along with it. Lucas was a cocky guy and as a top he was not adverse to using his flatmates when he felt the need or they asked him nicely. UCAS was arrogant and sometimes also got rude with his flatmates. He liked expressing his authority without caring for their emotions. Howie topped from time to time as did Matt but never with Lucas. Bobby was a total bottom boy slut and basically belonged to Lucas as his own personal cum dump. Howie and Matt knew, if they wanted to have some fun with Bobby, which Bobby was always up for, they had to get permission from Lucas first. Lucas always and mostly topped but he had also bottomed for suitable match according to his interests.

The flatmates just shot the breeze for a while and chatted until Lucas decided it was time to go out and eat and then go on to a club. Howie loved the normality of it all, the bickering over where to go eat, the fact Lucas would decide anyway, Bobby fawning over Lucas and Matt and him bitching about every fem boy wannabe that stole the attention of a man they wanted to dance with in the club. It was gone 3am when they stumbled back home, Matt with some guy called Stefan he had hooked up with who he took straight to his room. Lucas let Bobby know he needed him so they also retired and it was not long until the flat was reverberating to the moans and groans of both Bobby and Matt. Howie did not care he was alone, he was just happy to be home.

By Sunday afternoon it was as if Howie had never been away, and the big day at Stallion night club for Bobby was coming up on Tuesday. The guys were always looking for a way to make some extra cash and had hit up on an idea a few weeks before Howie had gone up to Sherril when one of the clients Matt and Bobby had worked for in the past told them about a night club in Manhattan that was running a "Slut of the year" competition sponsored by some company called Executive Boy Sluts. The client had told Howie that Bobby was just the type they were looking for and he could make a fortune.

Executive Boy Sluts, Matt had found out, was an exclusive high end escort service that provided boy sluts to executives and high wealth individuals all over the world, with operations in London, New York, Paris, Frankfurt, Tokyo and Dubai. This "Slut of the Year" competition was a side line they had been running for 3 years now to drum up local interest in the company and this year they had teamed up with, Stallion, the newest and hottest gay club in town. To earn the title of "Slut of the Year", a slut had to find at least 3 men to sponsor them and put up the $2K entry fee. It was a winner take all competition with a $50K prize for the winning slut. The winner would be advertised and promoted, with full contact details, for one year by both by Stallion and Executive Boy Sluts. Subject to satisfactory performance Executive Boy Sluts reserved an option to take the slut onto their books at the end of the year with a guaranteed payment to the slut of 10% of his earnings over the next 2 years.

Matt had explained the deal to Lucas and Howie and they had decided to put a very willing and very excited Bobby forward at the event. The guys had clubbed together to put up the $2K entry fee and Bobby had sailed through all the evaluations acing both his anal and oral testing and was accepted to attend the "Slut of the Year" event at Stallion. The slut slave event itself was in the form of a three round elimination competition followed by an auction of one hour slut service from each of the remaining candidates to the highest bidder. To ensure bidding was fair only a specially selected pool of Executive Boy Sluts clients were allowed to bid. The slut with the highest bid at the end of the auction was declared the winner.

Stallion was packed when the boys got there on Tuesday night and after a few words of encourage and a "Don't fuck it up", pep talk from Lucas, Bobby made his way to the stage. There were twenty-five sluts on stage with a real mix of ages, body types, and as it soon became clear, experience. The first test was a simple race to take along a line of increasingly larger dildos with the slut taking each one completely down the throat and holding if for 30 seconds before moving on to the next. Bobby raced through finishing third with the last five boys to eliminated. The test was then repeated, to roars of delight from the crowd, with the same dildos now taken fully up the ass. Bobby actually won that round with five more eliminated. The third round was an endurance test with each slut taking a huge butt plug up the ass and having to hold it. The first 30 minutes were time for the audience to get drinks and relax while the sluts just held the plugs and then the fun started making the sluts start doing exercises like star jumps while they held the plug. It was of course carnage only four sluts made it to the allotted hour to hold onto the plug. Somehow, despite the beads of sweat and clear signs of exhaustion, Bobby was among them.

Then it was time for the auction. The remaining candidates were introduced as Nigel, a 27 year old farm hand from Idaho, Dustin, an 18-year old student from Manhattan, Luis, at 32-year old Puerto Rican construction worker and Bobby, their 20-year old project coordinator flat mate. The auction was lively and Nigel was up first and sold for a very respectable $2,500 for just an hour of use. Dustin was up next and he started to get into it flexing and displaying his ass and mouth and reached $3,750 when the hammer fell. Bobby was next and to loud cheers from Howie, Matt and Lucas climbed on the auction block and pulled his killer move and just knelt and bowed his head in an act of total submission then slowly moved from between various display positions as the auction began, it worked, and Bobby sold for an amazing $5,000. Lucas was ecstatic sure they had one he was already telling them how they would spend the money. But, they had forgotten about Luis who put on a real show on the block riding a dildo on the block and promising to swap to a large one for every extra $1000 bid. And all that muscular body, clients enjoyed watching his body. It was not even close and Luis in the end sold for $9,500 and was the new "Slut boy of the Year."

The flatmates were disappointed but could not even commiserate with Bobby as he was immediately taken away for his one hour of service to the man that had won him in his auction. Matt, Howie and Lucas left without Bobby and were not in the least surprised when it was the following afternoon before they saw him again with a huge smile on his face. Matt wanted all the gory details from Bobby which he happily supplied.

$2K in the hole they did the only thing they could do and got drunk. During the course of that evening they decided that they would have to enter again next year and Bobby would have to do better. Lucas then announced that because Bobby had messed up and lost them $2K that next year the prize money would only be split three ways between him, Matt and Howie. The three flatmates agreed and it was only later Howie released nobody had bothered to ask Bobby if he was okay with this new arrangement but the noises coming from Lucas' room at that point certainly suggested he was.

I was not happy. The wedding had continued after Howie's outburst and Joe had even coaxed Sophie back into the reception to dance the night away before they headed off on their honeymoon to Aruba. A few people at the party had come up to me to tell me Howie had been out of order but most people ignored me clearing wanting to forget the whole incident. I was not happy because I was feeling guilty Howie had been driven out of town and just for telling the truth about me. Sure, the timing was appalling but he was not wrong, I am gay.

With Sophie away with Joe for two whole weeks I was alone in the house. With nothing to distract me my thoughts kept going back to Howie. I was ashamed he had been driven out of town and ruined his friendship with Sophie because of me, because I was so weak and scared to tell people, to tell my friends the truth.

By the third night I was in such a state I tried to call him having snuck into the office at the gym and got his contact number of his membership file. There was no answer. I just couldn't leave a voicemail it was not that type of call -- I needed to speak to him. I tried him five times that night and again the next day and the next. By now I was angry, why wasn't he answering, why wasn't he letting me apologize.

Work was no release from my torment. It just reminded me of him. Sam and Connor had heard what happened at the wedding but unlike everyone else they seemed to think there was something in what Howie had said about me. They started making lewd suggestions to me whenever they saw me. Sam now routinely greeted me with conspiratorial whisper, "Hey Darius, gonna suck my cock today gay boy, it really needs a good workout", then turn away laughing. I should have punched his lights out the first time he said it but I didn't, I was scared what he might say to other people, and just let it go. Connor was different he started asking me to spot for him all the time and constantly asked me questions and even started listening to what I was saying. I should have been happy as he was getting results after only two weeks but the way he was looking at me really disturbed me.

When Sophie and Joe got back they moved to their new home, that Mr Meyer, had bought for them and while I was happy for Sophie it meant I was now alone at home all the time. Sophie did come and see me of course but I missed her about the house. I started to really dread my evenings and I stayed working out at the gym as long as I could but every night it was the same, I would get home and as soon as I sat down I would start to dwell on my memories and could think only of Howie. There was no release, no respite, and when I finally went to bed my dreams where filled with endlessly streams of men using me as a cock sucker and cum dump, but now while I did still think of Greg they always ended with Howie fucking long and slow and pumping streams of his cum deep into my ass.

I had given up trying to call Howie weeks ago as he was not returning my calls and when I did start leaving voicemails it was embarrassing just how desperate I got pleading with him to call me. I knew it had to stop as if he were not responding to those then he was never going to call me.

My frustration was starting to impact my work, I got irritable with the customers, I bit Stanley's head off every time one of the machine broke down, or he did not clean the changing rooms, and one time I had a real shouting match with him all because he left an unwashed coffee cup in the staff room. Jimmy had a word with me several times telling me he as getting complaints about me. While I knew he wanted to keep me he had now suffered with three months with nothing but irate customers moaning and complaining about me and I knew I was on the verge of getting sacked.

It all came to a head one evening everyone was gone except for me I was trying to make it up to Jimmy and Stanley covering lates and shutting up for them all week. Sam came into the gym with Connor in tow, he made this usual snide remark inviting me to suck his dick and turned to leave. But, I had had enough, I had barely slept in 3 days with my dreams of man dick waking me throughout the night. I was horny and frustrated and needed release. I grabbed Sam and pushing my arm into his neck I lifted him clean off the ground then snarled at him, "Did you say something fucker?"

Sam, my arm to his throat, could not speak. He started to struggle but thought better of it and went limp. I release my grip and he dropped to the floor, composing himself he said, "Sorry Darius, I didn't mean anything by it. It won't happen again." With that he started heading for the door with any thought of a workout for the night forgotten. "Connor, you coming?", he said to his friend, "Lets get out of here."

I looked at Connor for the first time and the little pervert was rock hard, an obscene bulge in his shorts. He looked a me with eyes full of want and desire, eyes I recognised. He wanted to submit and he wanted to be used. I was so riled up I just told him, "Get in the staff room, now!"

He turned to Sam and told him, "Nah man, I need to workout, see ya tomorrow", then obediently headed off towards the staff room.

I followed him in and barked, "Lose the shorts and bend over the table, now!"

He scrambled to comply stripped his short awkwardly over his sneakers and stood there in his jock. I thought he might run but no he smiled, turned and bent down across the table presenting his ass to me. And, then just in case there was any doubt he said, "Use me Darius, fuck me, I really need you man."

I had no lube, but I didn't care I shucked my own shorts and lined up behind him. My 9-inch dick slapped against his ass and then I lined up and rammed it in, dry and raw. Connor screamed. "Shut up fucker", I told him, "You asked for this now take it!"

With that started to pump my dick in and out of his ass. He started to moan in pleasure, urging me on. "Shut up", I snapped, "I'm the on in charge here not you, now open up and take me."

I was so horny and desperate it did not take long, I felt my balls tense and then release their juice deep into Connor's ass. The boy was in heaven moaning and murmuring in the heights of sexual pleasure. I felt numb. Sure, I felt the release but that was all. This wasn't right. This wasn't what I wanted. I pulled out, quickly got dressed and told Connor, "Get out of here now."

Connor looked confused, he had clearly enjoy it but it was obvious, even to him, I hadn't. As he got dressed he plucked up the courage to say, "I'm sorry man. I'm not sure what I did wrong but sorry I wasn't good enough for you." The lad was clearly blaming himself for not giving me the pleasure I had given him. It wasn't him of course it was me, but I didn't correct him and I let him leave. I was too concerned about myself to worry about his feelings right now.

Back home later I tried to process what had happened with Connor but every time I thought of Connor over the desk the image transformed to me over the desk with Howie dumping his load in my ass. That image stayed in my thoughts and dreams for the rest of the week.

The next time I saw Connor he did everything he could to avoid me. The lad had clearly moved on I only wish I had that same luxury in my thoughts about Howie. The one good thing about fucking Connor was it did release my stress and anger a bit and was at least enable to be civil to the customers and hold on to my job.

Connor turned out to not be the only one I fucked. My life was in a rut, I was lost in my thoughts about Howie but unable to do anything about it, my dreams would build over time getting me hornier and hornier until I would snap and have to find a man to fuck. There were a steady stream of fem boy twinks clearly at the gym for only one reason and a reason I was happy to oblige. Stanley walked in on me fucking one of the twinks in the staff room but turned and left me too it. After I was done I went to find him to discover he had lusted after me, and my, cock for years and would be happy to give me his ass any time I wanted. I took to fucking Stanley after that every few weeks, sometimes at the gym and sometimes at my place. After the first few weeks Stanley let me know he had been talking to Jimmy and he wanted to get in on the action. There was no way I was up for a threesome, but I did swap Stanley for Jimmy for a fuck every month or so. Neither man ever refused me and by then I had even learned to feign pleasure to make sure, unlike Connor, they would come back for more. But, it was I lie and they did not satisfy me. This was not what I needed. It was a temporary fix but I needed to address the real problem and I needed to find Howie.

It was approaching Sophie's first wedding anniversary and things were no better for me. I was getting desperate, my nightly dream full now only of Howie. My days just routine work in the gym and an occasional unsatisfying fuck with men I was actually growing to hate for their inability to make me happy and give me what I really needed. I was really desperate and needed to talk to someone about all this but there was no one I could talk to.

One morning Sophie rang me and asked, "Mind if I come over tonight dad? Joe's out with work friends and we have not had a good catch up in ages."

"Sure darling, I would be great to see you", I replied.

I cooked us a meal and it was nice to have Sophie back in the house, she told me what was going on with her and her life and it was clear she was happy. After an hour or two she finally asked, "So what about you dad, what's going on in your life right now."

I sighed. The emotion overwhelmed me and the fact all my frustration, anger and confusion had me far more stressed that I realized. I broke down right in front of my daughter and sobbed, "Oh Sophie, it's awful."

She was immediately at my side hugging and kissing me. As I calmed down and stopped sobbing she said, "This isn't you dad. What's up? What's going on?"

I was desperate, I was falling apart, I needed to talk to someone. She was there. I decided I would talk to her and tell her.

"Sophie", I started, "I have something to tell you, something important, something I should have told you a year ago." I paused and tried to steal the courage to tell her then it just all came out. "Sophie, I'm gay. Howie was right when he outed me last year. Howie was right."

She was silent for a long while processing what I said, then I saw a fire of anger in her eyes and she turned to look me in the face and said, "You are absolute shit. How could you? Why didn't you tell me?"

She went on for a long long time accusing me everything from spoiling her wedding to ruining her whole life and when she found out I had known since I was 18 of ruining her mothers' life as well. She demanded to know if I ever loved her mother, was she an accident, a mistake. She told me in no uncertain terms she would never trust me again and I just sat there taking it all unable to respond unable to defend myself. Eventually her tirade receded but she was not done, "Well say something then", she demanded.

"Sophie, I'm sorry", I finally said, "but, its not my fault if Howie had not come here none of this would have happened."

"What!", she screamed at me, "it's pathetic dad you can't even take responsibility for your own feelings. This is not Howie's fault. It's yours. If you can't see and won't accept that then I don't want to have anything more to do with you", and with that she left leaving me all alone again.

I cried and cried. My life was a total mess there was only one thing for it. If Howie wasn't going to speak to me on the phone I was going to have to go find him in person and tell him I was sorry, tell him he was right, and tell him most of all I needed him to love me again, and again, and again.

I had no idea where Howie lived but I knew the company he worked for and that was as start. I told Jimmy I need to take some time of work and that I did not know when I would be back, then packed a bag booked a ticket and took the train to New York.

I finally arrived at the big city.

"New York, huh!", I released a nervous sigh. I was both excited at nervous to meet Howie. I had so many questions like how would he respond? Obviously not good but I was prepared. I had mapped out everything with careful analysis. I have thought about the apologetic words and all and I won't mind or get mad even if he totally ignored me or berates me. What I did was so wrong to him and I would go to any extreme to make up for my wrong doings.

I puffed up my chest. I had been doing nothing but to work out previous year as a distraction but I rebound. The results were splendid. My chest size increased from 53 inch to 56 inch, waist became more thin to 34 inch, biceps packed up with meat bulging to 22 inch, and after several months of cutting carbs plus fats almost completely I earned it, I finally got what I thought I would never get, my eight solid blocks of meat below my chest. I'm so proud of getting eight pack abs that are well sculptured and made every man around me jealous and inferior. And I couldn't wait to show Howie my results as I knew he had thing for muscular dudes. I have also increased the length of my hair a little bit, my beard increased too with long moustache sitting above my lips. My rigged facial expressions gave me a gangster look even people around me at the station were getting intimidated by my 6'5 muscular frame. I initially thought to join a gym as a trainer and Jimmy happily referred me few gyms and their owners were taken aback to see my pics and offered me jobs. But I wanted to remain as close to Howie as possible and for that I had to join his construction work.

When I got to New York I checked into a cheap hotel in Brooklyn near the address and with a plan of action actually managed to get some sleep. I was up early next morning and headed to the office and waited outside hoping catch Howie as he arrived for work. I had no idea if he would be working today but I resolved to stay and keep coming back until I saw him. I stayed there three hours the first morning and four hours the next, but he was nowhere in sight. Then, on the third day, there he was, in a smart suit and an air of determination about him, I decided not to interrupt him on his way to work but now I knew he was there I could plan what I was going to do when he came out for lunch or if not when he was heading home.

The morning dragged, I was nervous, rehearsing in my head what I was going to say to him getting more and more tense as every minute passed. It got to 1:30pm and I was sure he was not coming out for lunch and would have to wait until the end of the day and then, there is was again, striding out of the office and across the square. Lost in his thoughts he had not seen me and I stood and approach him. I had not been this close to him for the best part of a year, I was tingling all over, then pulling myself together announced, "Hello Howie."

Howie stop, looked up at me with shock and said, "What the fuck do you want Darius?",

"Wait Howie...hear me out", I tried to obstruct his way. He was not in the mode to listen to me and I didn't mind at all. But then with a venom I had not heard before he yelled, "I've got nothing to say to you. Now fuck off and get out of my way." I was so dishearten.

"Howie, please....", I pleaded but stopped. "Howie pease forgive me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for what I did to you."

Unconvinced Howie, replied, "And why on earth would I do that. You humiliated me, let me beaten up by your stupid son in law, made me a bad guy a wedding wrecker in front of your daughter. No old man you did so bad this time that I can't forgive you ever. Go live in your pathetic delusional life of denial", Then he started to walk away.

I scurried after him as I could not let him go and I had to let him know, so I said, "Howie, I'm sorry and I really want to make it up to you. I know I have been a jerk and a coward but I told Sophie everything Howie. She knows and was sorry too", not getting a response I hold his hands and smiled, he gave me an innocent look but quickly escaped his hands. Howie did not say a word and just walked on, leaving me frustrated but determined to win him over to love me and to really start to live without any fear.

I did not see Howie for the next two days and was worried I was somehow missing him so I took to sitting on the bench in the reception of the office building each morning. I got strange looks from the receptionists, but I was not doing anything wrong and I suppose as a six foot five muscle bound guy they did not want any trouble so left me alone. Over the next week I became a fixture. I would arrive at 6am and stay until 2pm every day. Nobody would talk to me. Nobody sat anywhere near me, but I could see them talking about me. By now I didn't care I just needed to get Howie to understand. I have changed a lot in a past year. I learnt to control my anger and have become much more composed and polite or at least I try to be polite.

There was no sign of Howie for over a week. There were a few other twinks that came in and out of the office and caused my cock to twitch at the sight of them. God, my now anyone who looked even slightly like Howie was getting me going and became the focus of my thoughts It was Wednesday morning when Howie finally came into the office, I stood when I saw him and went to him but he just brushed past completely ignoring me and was gone through the barriers and up to the offices. At lunch time I was ready for him and had my speech all ready but, to my surprise, he came over to me, and as I stood to greet him he said, "old man, you are scaring the receptionist. You can't do this. You can't be here. You don't belong here old man. Go and find a gym and train those stupid muscleheads", he said.

"But,", I pleaded, "I only want to talk."

"No old man", he said sternly, "Now leave", and with that he walked away joining a slim cute looking colleague and they headed out to lunch. I got up and left unsure what I was going to do now.

"What was that about?", Matt asked Howie as they walked out the building, "That hunk has been there all week. Everyone is intimidated by him and dont even talk to him. Just look at those water melon like chest of his, what a damn cleavage, and those huge biceps that could Rio his shirt man",

"It's nothing", Howie said, "Barbara on reception was getting worried and asked if I would have a word and get him to leave."

"Oh, Okay....what???? But why ..he is such a treat to watch man", Matt said dropping the subject but thinking why would Barbara ask Howie, of all people, to move a man mountain like that guy on. However, he soon forgot it when the got to the restaurant and Howie offered to pay.

The next day I was back at Howie's office again searching for Howie. I did not want trouble and needed a new approach. I had a plan to wear him down slowly. I waited outside until lunch and then when I saw Howie leave with that same twink again I followed them. They went into a little Italian place and a couple of minutes later I followed them in. It was early and the place was quiet, I could see where they were seated and asked for table of my own right next to them. As I was led to my seat I stopped at their table and then slid past it. I knew I would get no reply but I moved on and sat at my table making sure I could see Howie and his friend clearly and making sure they could see me.

Howie tried to ignore me but I spent my time staring at him longingly. This way I was getting him close to him, near him. I wanted and needed more but I needed to be patient. His friend saw me staring and saw the lust in my face. I no longer had anything to hide so I smiled at him and when at the end of their meal he stood I saw and very clear bulge in his pants. It felt to me like a victory, I had got to see Howie and be in his presence for the best part of an hour. I rushed to hotel excited, horny and invigorated jerking off in the shower three times before I was calm enough to think of anything else.

While I was showering Matt was quizzing Howie about exactly what had gone on at lunch with me. He knew what he had seen but could not understand why such a muscle hunk would be so into Howie looking at him like there was something going on between them. Matt was actually jealous cuz this handsome god was blessing his kindness to a guy like Howie. How can this beast so i to him? With a barely perceptible nod from Lucas, he and Bobby headed to his room and Matt started badgering Howie to spill the beans. It took some convincing but Matt did eventually get it out of Howie, all of it, and he was stunned, how could such an alpha looking man bottom for a twink like Howie or even Matt himself for the fact. What a waste he thought to himself. Then he laughed as he could t believe Howie. He thought he was pranking like he usually does. No, never...not at all. Guys like Howie always top, they always fuck, he is a daddy and Howie was obviously lying. But Howie didn't give a damn to Matt and made him puzzled and left him thinking. Then a germ of an idea started to form and he made a plan for tomorrow to see if Howie was speaking the truth.

Next day I was back in the square ready to find a way to get more time with Howie when to my surprise his friend from lunch yesterday started wandering over to me waving. "Hello" Sir", he greeted me. We have met before and he usually addressed me as Sir. He was totally intimidated by me like others around.

Matt smiled and said, "Darius isn't it?"

"Yes,", I said.

Matt grew confident after last night with Howie he said, "Howie told me everything about you old man", my cock twitched when he called me that. Only Howie calls me that.

"He told me how you completely humiliated my best friend despite he had spent a night with you and..fucked you", my face got red with embarrassement with he said "fucked you". Howie didn't need to tell him each and everything.

"And now you realised your mistake and are asking for forgiveness. Right?", He wanted to confirm.

I just nodded in agreement unable to speak to the twink

"Good", Matt said, "but as far as I know my best friend, Howie wont be forgiving you soon old man. But....", I looked a thim. He was right Howie was so stubborn and won't hear a word I said "but I can help you Darius I know something that can make Howie forgive you. If you want to know more then be here tomorrow at 6pm.", then he walked away back into the office leaving me to hide my embarrassment and shame.

That evening Matt sat Howie down at home and revealed his plan. He started talking about how great it was that Lucas and Bobby were really getting it together and were a real couple these days. Howie agreed. Matt went that that left them with a problem though, there were still $2K in the hole to the "Slut of the Year" competition and it was coming again in a few months and their plan to enter Bobby again was not a good idea. Howie had to agree. Sensing the though Matt said we need a replacement and we both know that can't be us. Matt explained they needed to find a real slut, someone different, someone that would get attention, someone who would get their money back and ensure they could live the good life, rent and worry free on the prize money reminding Matt that this year the prize money had gone up to $100K.

"So", Matt said, "I have the perfect candidate to be slut boy of the year", then drumming his hand on the table revealed, "but I need your approval and consent", Howie was confused. "It's your lover boy Darius", Matt said excitedly.

Howie laughed lout so hard. Darius, what the hell? He would beat Matt to death if he used the taboo word in front of him.

"He would kill you Matt", Howie was still laughing

Matt was not so easily deflected he knew they had a chance here to earn some good money but he needed Howie to agree before he stirred up something. He was good friends with Howie and nothing was worth damaging that over - certainly not some pathetic slut. Going for it he said, "Just leave it to me. I'm sure I can convince him. Just give me your permission and consider it done."

"Whatever", Howie said. He knew it was futile. He knew Darius well. He had anger issues, yes he fucked him but he was not a slut. Seeing the devilish grin on Matt's face added, "Sure, go for it. You have my permission. Now can we talk about something else?" Howie shrugged carelessly.

Delighted, Matt was ready to hook a slut tomorrow but happily shot the breeze for an hour or so, but before turning in he asked Matt to do one thing for him. If he got a call from him and he put Darius on the phone just to say he agreed with Matt and to "Do it". Howie, tired by that point was beyond fighting it agreed.

I was of course where I was told to be the next day arriving at 6pm hoping to see Howie but surprisingly not disappointed when at 6:15pm it was his friend that once again came out to see me in the square.

"Hello old man", he said. I was annoyed and also got excited whenever he said that. He used to call me Sir but now a sudden change in attitude and demeanor made my cock twitched for him. He didn't act like a shy, and scared twink anymore. There was confidence and a weird arrogance in him now.

Matt said, " I have news for you. I talked to him and he told me that he is still upset with you. So I thought and I can guarantee that he will come running to you if you show your real side to you", Matt was still afraid even after knowing that Darius was a bottom. But his frame, his godly presence and facial features were so intimidating. He tried to elongate conversation before coming to the main point because he was scared Darius would beat him to death.

I was confused. What did he mean by my real side so I asked him.

"Darius, I know you not only want to ask him for his forgiveness. You want to earn his trust, win him back. Don't you?", He asked and I agreed.

"I can see it in your eyes old man. You are in love with my best friend", as he said I turned my face around. I wanted him badly but was it love? I thought and a smile automatically came on my face. May be it was love? Matt came closer and grabbed my hand.

"Am I right old man?", I towered over thi 5'6 twink with my 6'5 frame but I felt so defensive and nodes my head.

"Good boy", Matt said to a man almost three times his age. I didn't notice. He went on, "So all you have to do is to admit your real self to you and then express it to Howie old man", he said looking into my eyes.

"But I told him that I came out to my daughter. I'm true to myself. I'm evolving right now but I believe with his support I can open myself to the world", I said without understanding what he wanted.

"That's good....but coming out is not what I'm saying", he said and I gave him a inquisitive look.

"I want you to...even Howie wants you to ...embrace the slut inside you old man", my eyes popped with anger and I frowned. He fucked me bit it doesn't mean I was a slut. I quickly pulled my hands back and gritted my teeth. I was learning to control my anger so I did that.

"I'm not a slut Matt", I said to him.

"You are old man...dont hide it...express the real pleasure you had with Howie. Just look at you. You are so huge and so muscular. You were even a wrestler and could take down any man in the world. You have aura of an alpha but deep inside you let Howie fuck you. Why? Because you love being a bottom. You love cocks. You join gym because you wanted to see men around you. You let Howie fuck you because you wanted to feel a man's cock old man", Matt was saying all this bullshit and I just kept silent why?

I crashed down to earth. The reality hit me. Was this what I really wanted. Was this what I really needed. I needed to speak to Howie. I needed him to tell me this was right.

"no Matt it is not--",

"Yes it is. And if you still don't want that the consider it your punishment Darius. Consider you deserve it for hurting Howie", I did hurt Howie bad this time.

"You have time for now...and I ll be waiting for your response at work. If you agree then I will help you to bring the real side out if yours. I will help you to embrace the slut inside you old man", and with that he left me in a dark pitch. I returned to my hotel room and slept with dreams of Howie fucking me and when I woke up in morning, I leaked so much that I couldn't in real sex.

This was it. Was this the moment of truth. I knew what he was saying was nearly correct but a slut? Was I really a slut? Was this what I needed but I was scared and I need to speak to Howie. I needed to know why he really wanted.

Next day I quickly went to Howie who was climbing up the stairs.

"Do you really mean that Howie?", I asked with a beating heart.

"What?" He asked.

"What Matt said to me", I wanted his confirmation.

"Yes,", he said in a rush and brought out his mobile dialing someone's number. I stopped watching him busy with someone on call.

I was dumbfounded , and hurt, at how terse he was. This was a big deal for me. I knew I needed and wanted it but then it hit me. He is a busy man and a slut like me has no right to disturb him. He was just reminding me of my place. My dick sprung to attention thinking about that night when I rode his cock like a wild cowboy....like...a..SLUT.

In evening I met Matt. He asked me for my decision. I was just confused. But I needed Howie badly, I wanted to earn his trust.

"Is there no other way kid?", I asked him helplessly.

"You tell me old man. Is there any other way? If yes, then we can work on that", he asked me politely with a smile. Matt's scheme had worked and he knew Darius's love for Howie would make him crash his ego and do as he wanted.

"Just do it for Howie old man", and tba was nail I the coffin. As he mentioned his name, I just nodded my head. This was the only way then.

Matt beamed in triumph. "Now follow me", he said and he led me across town, in silence, to his car.

"Where are going?" I asked.

"You are gonna live with us, close to Howie from now on",

"What?", I asked him excitedly. Opportunity to live with Howie is what he wanted for long.

"That you kid...I'm so happy to see him all the time now", Matt skilled cunningly as Darius didn't know what he had for him.

"But listen to me carefully old man", he started and I paid attention.

"It is not gonna be easy. Howie told me that you have anger issues. And your journey is gonna be full of stuff that would make you angry. I don't want to be beaten Darius by your muscles", he taunted and I smiled.

"I can do anything Matt. I promise to never loose my calm how much bad it is", I assured him.

"You really love him so much don't you?" He asked again making me blush.

"You just break your ego while your training is going on old man", Matt had him as he wanted.

"I ll try my best Matt", I smiled and we drove to his apartment.

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