a yearning

Robby stood at the back of the group gathered around the billiard table in the basement. Most of the guys in the frat house were gone to a concert on campus and there were only eight of them who stayed behind. They had been drinking and surfing the internet for porn, joking about the scenes that unfolded on screen when they came upon that site, one Robby had secretly been visiting for a while now, the one with some college guys fucking...each other. At first the guys watched in mock disgust then they joked about how one guy took one cock after the next in his ass as he was bent over the back of a sofa. Robby could hear the guys in the video tell someone to 'fuck his ass' and to 'pump it in him' and he felt his arousal, felt his cock grow stiff in his jeans and he feared the others would notice.

Robby grew short of breath when he heard his frat brothers talk about fucking a guy in the ass, wondering if it was tighter than a pussy; if it was as good. They continued to drink and banter the idea of fucking a guy back and forth until one of them suggested they try it, that one of them volunteer to be the one to let the others fuck them. Robby felt his breathing become constricted as his heart rate increased, wondering if they'd really go through with it and all along, deep down inside, he wanted it to be him they choose. He wanted to bottom for the guys, to have them penetrate his ass, to pump him full of their cum, but fear kept him from admitting it, kept him silent while he stood at the back of the room.

It was Jacob who suggested they do a lottery, draw one of their names who'd let the others fuck him, for none were willing to volunteer, all protesting they were not gay for it. And Robby stayed in the back, quiet, not saying how he wanted to do it, to be the one. The other guys agreed to the lottery, all thinking they couldn't possibly be chosen, or deep down inside hoping they would, like Robby hoped, hand shaking noticeably, as he put his name in the plastic grocery bag they were using.

Jacob held the plastic bag closed and shook it dramatically as he joking questioned who was going to go gay for them, who'd have to drop trou and let the others fuck'em. The guys stood around the billiard table, drinks in hand, as they watched Jacob make a show of it, and Robby watched intently too, holding his breath, desperately hoping it'd be him selected, that he'd be the one, but he also hoped just as much that it wouldn't be him for he knew if he laid on the billiard table and took Jacob's cock, or Ryan's, or any of the others he would get hard, his cock would get erect and show the others how much he wanted it.

Jacob held the bag over to Dale telling him to draw the lucky winner and all the guys laughed nervously as Dale reached into the bag.

As Dale pulled the folded piece of paper out and began to unfold it the room grew completely silent each one of them holding his breath as he waited for Dale to read the name.

"Giovanni" Dale read and the guys began to laugh as Ryan and Cory pushed Giovanni to the center of the room next to the billiard table, he protesting the whole time.

"Wait...wait... come on guys, you're not serious are you?" Giovanni protested as the guys taunted him, telling him to strip. Robby held back, feeling his arousal at the mere mention of Giovanni's name for he was the frat brother he had the biggest crush, someone who made him stammer and stutter whenever he was around. Giovanni was tall, lean, his body so smooth, the skin naturally dark and his black hair, slightly long, never combed, accentuated his dark skin, as did his dark brown eyes. Robby had watched Giovanni in the showers, looking from the corner of his eyes or giving him quick glances, as he lusted after him, wanting him more than any other guy in the frat house. He had a long uncut cock that had a small thin patch of pubic hair fanned out over it, and his sac hung long bulging with the balls nestled down in the bottom of it as it rocked back and forth with his movements. So many nights Robby had masturbated to images of Giovanni coming to him, naked, the head of his cock slipped free of the loose skin, ready for Robby to give him pleasure.

Robby now watched with the rest of the guys as Giovanni stripped off his clothes with Cory taking each article and tossing it over into a chair. Some made the sound of stripper music while others laughed, urging Giovanni on, and he went along with it, jokingly making a show of it when he was down to his white briefs, a skimpy pair that showed his cock and balls plainly through the thin fabric. Robby noticed Giovanni looked aroused with his cock bulging his briefs and when Giovanni slide them down letting them drop around his ankles his cock rose up half hard.

Robby looked intently as the head of Giovanni's cock slipped out of its cowl of foreskin, watched intently as it rose up, thickening and growing erect, and he felt his own respond accordingly. It made Robby nervous, fearful, for he wondered if the other guys would be able to see how he was really into this, really wanted to fuck Giovanni, and if given the chance, let Giovanni fuck him. Everything seemed to happen too quickly, events unfold faster than Robby could process them and suddenly he saw Giovanni on the billiard table on his back with his legs dangling over the side. The other guys were opening their jeans or slipping them off, those in shorts letting them fall to their feet with their boxers, till each of them had their cocks out or were naked from the waist down. They began to manipulate their cocks, to tug on them, stroke them getting them hard.

"Come on Robby, get your cock out" Ryan said as he stroked his own cock, the shaft so much darker than the rest of him highlighted by the dark blonde pubic hair. Robby suddenly realized he was the only one still dressed and the other guys were looking at him, telling him to hurry and Robby realized they were worried he wouldn't play along, would be the one who wouldn't participate instead telling the others what happened, so he reached down and unbuttoned his cargo shorts, pulled the zipper down and let them drop to his feet. His cock pushed obscenely at his boxers and he had to pull the waistband out and over his cock to get them down.

"Fuck Robby, you're ready to go already" Jacob said as he stroked his own cock and watched Robby step out of his shorts and boxers.

"Shit Robby, go on, you're up; fuck Giovanni's ass" Cory urged and Robby realized the mood of the room had changed, the notion of them doing something taboo erased by their desire to fuck, to sink their cock into a hole, any hole, even the one Giovanni was about to provide them. Cory pushed Robby to the center of the group, out in the open for all of them to see him already erect, his cock flexing up and down. Robby looked at Giovanni and saw the anxiousness on his face, the worry about what was to happen but it made him want Giovanni more, desire him that much more and a bead formed at the slit of his cock and drooled down to the floor.

"Go on Robby, be the first to bust that ass" Cory whispered in his ear, like a demon come to tempt him, and he felt Cory's hand on his shoulder pushing him forward till he was pushing up between Giovanni's legs. Giovanni looked scared, fearful, and Robby suddenly didn't care what the others thought as he reached down and took Giovanni's legs, raised them up putting one on each shoulder. He held Giovanni by the upper legs and pulled his body to the edge of the table. Robby nudged his cock to Giovanni; let it slide up and along the side of Giovanni's cock leaving a slick wet trail in its path.

"Go easy...okay" Giovanni whispered to Robby as the others urged him on, told him to slip it in Giovanni's ass and Robby looked up and into Giovanni's brown eyes and nodded his head ever so slightly.

Robby pulled his hips back and pressed the head of his cock into the concave area at Giovanni's opening, felt it nestle against the tight ring of his opening and Robby pushed forward, gently, until Giovanni's hole stretched open letting him slip in, penetrating it, painfully, unprepared for the way Robby's cock breached him. Giovanni threw his head back, his mouth open, but no sound came out as he sucked in air, trying to relax to Robby's cock penetrating his hole. His body quivered, the skin grew hot, slick with sweat that rose to the surface and he held tightly to the edge of the billiard table as Robby sank cock into his hole, slowly, fractions of an inch at a time. Robby savored the way it felt, the way Giovanni's hole gripped his cock, milked the shaft as it sank inward.

The guy's taunts and guttural ranting became white noise and neither Giovanni nor Robby comprehended anything being said as Robby pushed his cock all the way into Giovanni's hole, pressing his hips up against Giovanni's ass. Giovanni looked up, his eyes wet, glassed over, and he nodded to Robby, was ready for Robby's fuck; ready to feel Robby's cock piston inside his hole. Robby pulled back, watched as his shaft slid back out as Giovanni's hole gripped it, the ring of his opening stretched tight around it and when he felt the head of his cock about to slip free he pushed inward, sinking his cock all the way back in. Robby kept it up, the push and pull of his hips, the working his cock in Giovanni's hole and he watched Giovanni's reaction, the way his body was tensed up tight, every muscle flexed up large along his lean body. He felt Giovanni's fingers graze his thighs, push against them when he pushed in too fast and he felt the dark hairs of Giovanni's lower legs rub against his chest, brush against his skin softly, the sensation ticklish and Robby found himself fucking faster, his pace increasing, and he grunted with every inward thrust. Giovanni's cock lie upward fully erect and Robby dare not think why.

Robby began to fuck with a steady rhythm, his pace fast, hips slapping up against Giovanni, the sound only drowned out by the guy's caterwauling as they watched. Robby didn't like to be watched, afraid the guys would see it on his face, how much he liked having his cock inside Giovanni, the way their bodies were interlocked, with his cock pumping inside that tight hole. Every thrust was a push through the tight ring of Giovanni's hole which milked his cock, squeezed it as it moved inward and then back and Robby found his need to cum rise up quickly. He wanted to cum, to get it over with, but he also wanted to keep fucking, to keep his cock buried in Giovanni's ass and he leaned over Giovanni, pushed his legs back folding him in half turning his ass upward, opening him up more and Robby was on his toes, his hands braced on the table either side of Giovanni as he pumped his hips furiously, slamming down against the up turned ass. Robby opened his eyes and saw Giovanni looking up at him and he resisted the urge to lean down and kiss him as he slammed his cock inward over and over and over till he felt his whole body grow rigid, every muscle tight, and he shoved inward, his cock swelling up larger, even more sensitive, and he pumped his cum deep into Giovanni.

"OH FUCK...pump that shit in him" Jacob cried out as Robby was jabbing his cock inside of Giovanni's hole till he was spent.

Robby backed up till his cock slid free, the shaft slimy with his cum and he stood still a moment, Giovanni's ankles resting on top of his shoulders. His breathing was ragged and his body felt exhausted from its exertions but he couldn't take his eyes off Giovanni, the way he lay there, breathing just as hard, his skin glistening in the harsh light and Robby let his eyes roam down over Giovanni until he came to his cock, his balls which were tight in their sac and downward to his ass where he watched cum trickle out.

"Okay, get out of way; we're not here to cuddle. Let someone else in that ass" Cory said as he pulled Robby back. Robby moved back, his eyes still on Giovanni until Ryan stepped between them, moved up to the table and Robby saw him shift into position and shove forward making Giovanni cry out again. Robby's cock was still half hard and he didn't want to see the others fuck Giovanni, didn't want to see them have their fun, which was nothing but a fuck, a way to get off and he pulled back behind the guys looking for his shorts and boxers.

As he pulled his shorts in place and zipped them up he saw Jacob look over at him and wink before looking back at Ryan fucking Giovanni. Robby considered how Jacob was urging the others on and seemed to be standing back waiting, his hand slowly stroking his cock. Jacob had always bragged the most of sex where he and one or two other guys took turns with a woman who wanted to take them all on at once and Robby remembered how he commented on how good it felt to slid his cock into a pussy full of cum, it so slick with it, and he wondered if Jacob was waiting to go last, waiting to fuck Giovanni after everyone else had pumped their cum into his hole, allowing him the pleasure of a sloppy, slick fuck with his cock sluicing through all the cum already deposited. Robby didn't want to watch anymore and he headed for the stair so he could go outside and get some air.

Robby sat on a low wall around the main terrace area and stared at the full moon that hovered just above campus, it in dark silhouette and he thought about what just happened, and how he had wanted this with Giovanni every since he first laid eyes on him back at the start of fall semester. But this is not how he wanted it to be, some frat house prank, just fucking around. But he always wanted more than he could admit for he had never confessed to anyone he was gay, couldn't bring himself to say it, even though there was a support group in high school and a big group on campus. He didn't know how to break free of the expectations of his family, or the fear of his father, a man who ranted endlessly about the immorality rampant in the country, the gays taking over, the liberal politicians out to destroy his country and Robby knew being gay made him everything his father resented, with his boasting often of his hate for gays and their agenda.

How long he sat outside he had no idea, but he knew it was getting late and he wondered if the guys were finished fucking Giovanni and he felt that knot in his stomach that told him he was hurt, for his own inability to face his sexuality and for Giovanni, who he guiltily enjoyed fucking but now wished it had been someone else. He needed to use the bathroom and was desperate for a shower so he went in and up to his room not bothering to see what was going on downstairs, even though he could hear Jacob and Ryan laughing.

The corridor was quiet and he found the room he shared with Cory empty. It took only a minute to grab a change of clothes, his toiletry case and his towel and he headed down the corridor to the bathroom. He heard the shower running as soon as he came in but he had to piss so bad first he laid his stuff down and went to the wall of urinals. As he pissed he listened to the water of the shower, trying to hear who it might be, if it was some of the guys up here washing off after fucking Giovanni. But it was quiet except for the sound of water running.

Robby pulled his clothes off and tossed them on the counter next to his clean clothes, grabbed up his towel and headed to the shower room, a single long narrow room with open showers down each side. He immediately realized it was Giovanni under one of them, the last one on the left, and the steam of his shower filled the room in a faint cloud. Giovanni had his hands on the wall, his head down, letting the hot shower hit him on top of the head and cascade down his body. Robby wanted to say something, but didn't know what to say under the circumstances and he eased quietly to a shower on the right about half way down, close to Giovanni, but not so close as to arouse suspension.

Robby turned the water on and held his hand under it waiting on it to get warm, his eyes cutting over to the naked figure within the cloud of steam. Giovanni looked up, surprised to hear someone else in the room and he looked at Robby with a faint smile, shaking his head.

"You okay?" Robby asked.

"Yeah...it's just...well...all of it was crazy, you know?" Giovanni replied.

"I know" Robby replied as he moved under the shower facing the wall. "I'm glad it wasn't me. I don't know if I could have done it" he lied.

"It wasn't so bad...really" Giovanni said as he moved his head back under the shower. They showered silently for a few minutes, each glancing back at the other. Robby couldn't stop looking at Giovanni's body, the long torso, the long arms and legs, all so lean, muscular like a runner or a swimmer, and his wet skin glistened in the dim light of the shower. There was one thing Robby was extremely curious to know, something he had to ask and he looked back at Giovanni finding him cutting off his shower. As Giovanni walked by he turned to face him.

"I was wondering...if you are okay telling me...if..." and he hesitated, stammered to a stop trying to figure out how to ask.

"What? Just ask, Robby."

"Was Jacob the last one...to fuck you?"

Giovanni laughed cynically and looked at Robby shaking his head. "Yes he was and he seemed to really enjoy it" and Giovanni began to walk away and without turning to Robby he added: "More so than even you."

For a couple of days afterward some of the guys joked around about what happened, made snide remarks to Giovanni when he passed, making him just shake his head. Jacob on the other hand didn't say much about it which Robby found odd since he was one of the main instigators of the whole episode for Cory his roommate talked nonstop about it asking Robby if Giovanni was really tight when he went first because by the time he went he thought Giovanni would be loosened up but he found him still tight. Robby wondered what was going on with Jacob and Cory, the way they acted over the next few days, but it was Giovanni he was most concerned and tried to catch him alone again ever since they were in the showers together.

The following Monday, a rainy stormy day, that found everyone pulling out rain gear and umbrellas. Going to classes was miserable for the wind blew too hard for the umbrellas to do much good. It was the middle of the afternoon when Robby made his way back to the frat house and he found it surprisingly empty. A couple of guys in the living area were playing video games and said they thought several of the guys were going to the library to study instead of walking all the way back to the house since the weather was so bad. Robby climbed the stair to the second floor and went down the dark corridor to his room where he found Cory lying on his lower bunk, hands tucked behind his head as he was staring up at the bottom of Robby's bunk.

"What are you doing?" Robby asked as he came in.

"Nothing" Cory replied with a flat distant tone and he watched Robby lay his backpack down on the floor and pull his books out laying everything on his desk. Robby glanced over and saw Cory adjust his crotch, tug on it, and it made Robby look away, focus his eyes back on the notebooks he was piling on his desk. Cory leaned up on one arm, turning to face Robby.

"Did you enjoy it?" Cory asked.

"What?" Robby replied, but he knew exactly what Cory was referring.

"You know...fucking Giovanni."

"No" Robby exclaimed and he realized his response was too quick, too severe, for all of the guys there had seen his cock, saw how he was the first one to get hard and even when he pulled free of Giovanni's ass his cock was still hard.

"Come on...you're going to tell me it didn't feel good?"

"Well..." and Robby hesitated and he heard Cory turn and sit up.

"Yeah, it felt good didn't it" Cory admitted and Robby didn't respond, didn't turn to see how Cory was looking at him, looking at his ass, giving consideration to fucking him. Robby pulled his physics book to the middle of his desk as he looked for his notes from last Friday.

"Have you seen my physics' notes?" Robby asked Cory turning to face him.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. Jacob came down and borrowed them this morning."

"Oh, well I need them now" Robby replied and he turned to leave.

"I'll go with you" Cory said, jumping up and following Robby out the door. They walked down the dark corridor to the room Jacob and Ryan shared and even though they saw no light under the door they opened the door and went on in. Jacob was alone, sitting at his desk, his jeans and boxers pushed down to mid thigh. He was watching something on his laptop and masturbating and when Robby and Cory barged in he quickly closed his laptop and tried to conceal his erection.

"What are ya doing, Jacob?" Cory asked sarcastically. Robby felt uncomfortable with the situation sensing they should leave but Cory moved on in making Jacob get to his feet and struggle to pull up his jeans as he stayed bent over. Cory opened Jacob's laptop and they saw the image that came on, an image of two guys fucking. Cory looked over at Jacob smiling as Robby stared at the image a moment before looking over at Jacob.

"Okay, so I wanted to see it again. I mean...the other day...wasn't it....something?" Jacob said as he dragged out his words.

"Yeah it was" Cory admitted and they looked at Robby who felt trapped once again, trapped in admitting something he longed to admit but fear prevented him from doing so, but he looked at Cory, then over to Jacob and nodded his head. Yes, indeed, it was something.

Cory went up to Jacob, looking him in the eye.

"Maybe you'd like to do it again. Only this time, you be the one getting fucked" Cory said and Jacob grew wide eyed and quickly looked away.

"Well?" Cory asked again.

"I don't know...maybe" Jacob admitted.

"Well it is just the three of us, so it won't be like the way seven of us did Giovanni, so if you want to try it, now would be a good time. Isn't that right, Robby?" Cory said as he looked back at Robby.

"I don't know guys. Maybe we shouldn't..." Robby was saying when Jacob interrupted him.

"Close the door and lock it."

It wasn't like with Giovanni, not this time, for Robby and Cory didn't stay partially dressed making it just a quick fuck. Instead they stripped along with Jacob until the three of them were naked and the small room seemed too intimate, too closed in to Robby, something different about way things were happening. As before he was hard quickly, his cock angled up fully erect while Cory was still tugging on his. Jacob took Robby by the hand and led him to his lower bunk.

"Come on Robby, you can be first" Jacob said as he lay on his back pulling Robby down on top of him. Robby did as Jacob asked, followed his lead and as he slipped down between Jacob's legs he pushed them apart, took each leg behind the knee and raised them up. He moved up to Jacob's ass as he pushed his legs back folding Jacob in half raising his ass up and spreading it open. Cory was down on the floor beside them watching ever move, watching how Jacob opened up to Robby, watched as Robby pushed his cock to Jacob's hole, nudged up to its opening and pushed, pushed with his hips till he penetrated. Jacob cried out, his hands grabbing at the sheet as Robby sank his cock into him. Robby felt different about this time, didn't feel some desire for Jacob like he did Giovanni, a want for intimacy, and he drove his cock downward burying it in Jacob's ass.

"Goddamn, Robby, shove that cock into him, will ya" Cory uttered as he watched.

Robby held his cock completely buried in Jacob and waited for Jacob to adjust to the penetration and the tight ring of his hole to loosen. Jacob shivered underneath Robby, his body was tensed up tight, but as he relaxed, as his hole loosened to the cock buried in it he began to shift under Robby, began to push upward and he looked up at Robby and nodded his head. Robby began to fuck, to work his hips up and back down thrusting his cock into Jacob, slamming down into him till the bed squeaked and rocked.

"Fuck him...fuck him hard" Cory whispered as he watched with his face only inches from Robby and Jacob's hips, watching Robby's cock pull up into view and then push back in, over and over. He reached out and put his hand on Robby's ass, felt the way it flexed as Robby fucked, drove his cock down into Jacob and he pushed down with Robby trying to feel the energy of his thrusting.

Robby was fucking too fast, his drive too urgent, for he wanted to fuck Jacob, wanted to fuck him good and hard, but he also wanted it to end for the way Cory was right next to them, his face practically between them watching everything; watching how Jacob's hole took his cock. Robby hammered his cock into Jacob, his exertion so hard he began to sweat. Rivulets of sweat ran down his face and down his chest as he drove his cock into Jacob's hole harder and harder until he finally felt it, his whole body tighten, every muscle, and he slammed down into Jacob and pumped out his cum deep in his hole.

"Fuck...that was hot" Cory said as he began to pull Robby up trying to get him off Jacob as quickly as possible. Robby moved off the bed and down on the floor and he saw Cory's cock was wet, a strand of drool trailing downward just before he broke it moving quickly on the bed and on top of Jacob. Robby knew he had fucked Jacob roughly, aggressively, but it was nothing to the way Cory moved on him, the way he stuck his cock to Jacob's hole and buried it in one swift move. Robby winced at the sight of Cory's fatter cock breaching Jacob, the way it stretched his hole even more as it plunged into his depths. Jacob cried out and grunted with every penetrating thrust. Cory's fuck was so primitive, so rough and fast, and the bed sounded like it was going to break. Jacob wrapped his arms around Cory's neck pulling their bodies together and it slowed Cory, made him grind his cock into Jacob's hole instead of thrusting it in. They moved almost as one, their bodies locked together and Robby realized Jacob was working his ass, pushing it upward to Cory's downward push. Cory fucked Jacob for what seemed like a long time, the way Jacob had him slowed down but Cory eventually started thrusting hard.

"I'm going to...cum...take it" Cory stammered as he pumped his cum into Jacob.

When Cory finally rolled off Robby saw the cum on Jacob's chest and stomach and knew he had gotten off untouched by Cory's fuck.

A few nights later Robby lay in bed reliving the way Cory and him had fucked Jacob, and he played it over in his mind, the way he was having sex in this odd manner. He thought about how Jacob had gotten off without touching his own cock and since then how Jacob and Cory seem to be together all the time. He was sure they were doing it often and he wondered if Cory had let Jacob do him yet, or if Jacob was always on bottom. He had a good idea how it was between them as he heard Cory's breathing change and he shifted into a new position as he slept.

He rolled over on his side and looked through the blinds at the moon as it hovered in the night time sky and his thoughts turned to Giovanni, always in the end he thought about him. The last couple of days had been busy with some of them having exams and the frat preparing for a concert this Saturday night on their rear lawn causing them to have a lot of preparations and it prevented him from being around Giovanni except when others are around. He wanted him so badly and he knew he was probably being unrealistic, but just this evening, while they relaxed for a few minutes watching one of their favorite television shows, Giovanni had come into the living room and sat next to him. Although they didn't talk much, Giovanni's leg kept pressing up against his own.

It gave him hope.