It was November 2023, Rob said he’d come on Monday or Tuesday, but when I spoke to him that morning, he sounded very relaxed about it, like nothing was really decided yet, just something that might happen if it suited him.
There was something a little strange too. Nothing obvious but every time I asked when he was coming, he’d quickly change the subject and start talking about Magie instead. He’d tell me how she was doing, put her on camera, and share little stories about her. To be fair, he'd been away from her himself for over a week while he was working on a project in New York, so most of what he talked about was how much she'd changed already. He kept saying that if he'd noticed a difference after only a week, I wasn't ready for how much she'd changed in three.
So, he never actually gave me a clear answer about when he’d be in Paris. It wasn’t enough for me to think too much about it, but it stayed in the back of my mind all day, especially since we were filming the very last blinds, and production always had a way of timing surprises.
A few days earlier, he’d told me he couldn’t come to Paris on Thursday or Friday like I’d hoped because he’d been asked to attend an event on Saturday night. Instead, he’d suggested I come back to London for a few days while I had a short break, but I had a feeling he already knew I wouldn’t. I was shattered from recording and just wanted to enjoy Paris a bit longer. I’d already made plans with quite a few people, and honestly, I wanted him and Mag there with me.
It was the final audition, the last voice. After that, we’d start working with the teams we’d built. Coaching for the cross battles would begin the following week, and my mind was already focused on that, thinking about my team, what was coming next, and how I wanted to work with them.
Our chairs turned and we waited for a few seconds, then the band started.
And I heard the first notes of Heroes by David Bowie.
And I knew, I didn’t even need to hear a single word.
I just knew.
I didn’t wait, I slammed the button hard, once, twice, maybe more, with both hands at some point because my only thought was that my chair needed to turn now and it wasn’t. I could already feel the others reacting beside me, turning toward me in confusion because we hadn’t even heard the person sing yet, so why was I already turning?
By the time my chair turned, I was already looking at the stage.
And then I saw him just standing there, completely at ease.
“I…,” he started, and that was it. One word. One note.
The audience reacted instantly, the other coaches hit their buttons almost in unison as they heard how his voice filled the room, how warm and powerful it was, the kind of voice that belonged in a stadium, on a stage ten times bigger than this one.
“I could be king,” he sang.
I knew I had a stupid grin on my face. I mean I hadn’t seen him in over three weeks since the blind auditions had started, and I knew he’d brought Magie with him, so I was on cloud nine.
I couldn’t believe this was how he decided to show up… well, no, actually I could believe it, but this was too awesome for words.
“And you … you could be queen,” he continued, looking straight at me, shifting the phrasing slightly in that way he always did.
he pointed at me and I pointed at him back, mouthing the lyrics, not sure who was the queen in the relationship to be honest, “though nothing, will drive me away, we could be heroes, just for one day.”
“I need a guitar,” I said, already standing before I’d even finished the sentence, turning toward the band, gesturing without really knowing who I was asking, “can I - ?”
Rob paused for a second and then continued singing as someone backstage nodded, and I took that as a yes.
“Oh, we could be heroes… just for one day … we could be heroes.”
“Get him a guitar,” Rob smiled into the mic. He knew there was no way I was going to sit in my chair and not play this song with him.
I pointed at him as I walked away.
“You!” I mouthed. He had to make an entrance.
I reached the band, and the guitarist handed me his guitar immediately, like he’d seen this coming, and I slipped the strap over my shoulder and my hands quickly found the strings without thinking about it.
Then I walked back toward Rob as he sang,
“Oh we could be heroes, just for one day…”
I stepped next to him and started playing. He watched me as I made the guitar sing the melody, and then he started singing again,
“I … I wish I could swim … like dolphins … like dolphins can swim…”
I followed him easily, like I always did. The band followed us too, and now it didn’t feel like a TV set anymore, it felt like being on stage, a real one, like the ones we were used to, playing for thousands of people. The other coaches were all standing up, like they were at a concert.
“Nothing … will drive me away…”
I glanced at him.
He was smiling. That smile.
“We could be heroes, just for one day… we could be heroes, just for one day.”
“Now come on, baby play!” he sang.
I laughed under my breath and leaned into it, giving him exactly what he wanted, a riff that I loved playing.
“Nothing …. will drive me awaaaay”
“…yeah we could beat them … just for one day… oh, we could be heroes… just for one day… yeah we could be heroes.”
I pulled the guitar slightly away, still smiling, and Rob turned toward us, toward me, really.
“So,” he said, “do you want me on your team?”
I laughed immediately, slipping the guitar off my shoulder and pulling him into a hug.
“I knew you were lying this morning,” I said into his ear, not even trying to keep it quiet enough for it to stay between us.
People heard. People laughed.
I pulled back just enough to kiss his cheek, then handed the guitar off to someone behind me without even turning to see who took it.
I went back to my chair, still smiling, and all of the other coaches were looking at me like they’d just watched something incredible.
“Mais c’était trop bien, incroyable, j’ai tellement kiffé, purée, j’adore,” Hoshi said in French how much she had loved it, grinning.
“Yeah,” I said, exhaling slowly.
“C’était sensationnel,” Amel, said. “On était en plein concert là, c’était ouf! Genre, un petit concert improvisé de U-N-I là sur le plateau de The Voice, c’était dingue, merci! C’était bien improvisé?” she asked, wanting to make sure we hadn’t planned any of it.
“Oui, complètement improvisé, pour moi en tout cas,” I said. “Sérieux, ça fait trois semaines que je l’ai pas vu et ce matin là, il me dit qu’il peut plus venir ce weekend, et je me suis dis, ouais, c’est louche.” I explained quickly that I hadn’t seen him in three weeks and that he’d told me he wouldn’t be coming before next week, which had sounded suspicious, so yeah, improvised.
Mika laughed and started giving Rob feedback in English like this was a normal audition, which was pretty funny.
“So what’s your name?”
Rob answered.
“Okay. First of all, thank you for coming. That’s already very brave,” he said seriously. “Look, I’m going to try to give you constructive criticism.”
“Okay.”
“You were a little shy, but if you come in my team, that’s something we can work on, I’ll help you come out of your shell a bit more. You know, don’t be afraid to take up space.”
Rob nodded.
Hochi laughed and spoke in English too. “I totally agree, and I think I’d love to help you with your voice because I think there’s potential, but I think you can project more.”
“Okay,” Rob smiled.
Amel glanced at me, unsure about speaking English, so I stepped in.
“Uh… yeah. I’d love to work with you on your surprise skills,” I said.
He nodded with a small laugh.
“This was a great song choice, but it gave you away instantly.”
“Damn it.”
“And that whole ‘event in London’ thing?” I tilted my head. “Didn’t believe it for a second.”
“And using our daughter to distract me?” I smiled. “Honestly… I saw it coming.”
Rob laughed.
“Still pretty great, though,” I smiled.
“I thought I had you.”
“Look, if you pick me, I won’t hold it against you.”
The other coaches were smiling, just like the audience.
Then Amel l clapped her hands lightly and said in French, “Okay … c’est le moment de prendre une décision,” she said, telling him it was time to choose a coach.
He looked at all of us, then at me, pretending to hesitate.
“That’s a tough choice…”
I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms.
“…Take your time,” I said, “I’ll just remind you - you’re leaving with me.”
“Yeah,” he said, smiling, “let’s not complicate things.”
“Exactly. And if you choose me, I’m sure we’ll work well together. I know we can accomplish great things.”
“No doubt about it,” he laughed.
“You can pick him,” Mika added. “We’re used to it. Every time he turns, he gets picked.”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Rob said with a grin. “It's too late for me anyway. Maybe I should've warned his contestants though. I guess it's too late for them now too.”
“Go on anyway,” Mika said with a grin. “We need all the help we can get.”
“I mean, really, good luck to them. He's the biggest perfectionist, and let me tell you, he won't let you stop until it's exactly how he hears it in his head.”
I laughed, a little embarrassed. “I hate how accurate that is. But in my defence, it does usually pay off.”
“Well, you don’t become one of the biggest bands in the world for no reason,” Amel said.
“Exactly,” Hoshi agreed.
“There you go,” I said, looking at Rob. “Thank you, girls.”
Rob smiled and started walking backstage. My chair was the last one on the end, closest to the backstage entrance, so as he passed me, I automatically held up my left hand.
He tapped his wedding ring against mine, then pinched the air just above it and slowly drew his hand back, as if an invisible thread had appeared between our rings.
We'd been doing it for years. The ring tap had come first, not long after he'd asked me to wear the ring. The invisible thread came sometime after the handfasting at our wedding and just sort of stuck. I couldn't remember whose idea it had been anymore. Probably Rob's.
His romantic explanation was that it meant we were still connected when we were apart.
His less romantic explanation was that it stopped me wandering off.
The audience let out a collective aww as he grinned and disappeared backstage.
***
Our chairs turned again, there was actually one last real audition.
“So… that was you in your element,” Mika said.
I nodded.
“So, there are two of you,” Mika said. “This one, and the one who writes and sings in French.”
I laughed, I knew exactly what he meant.
“Yeah,” I smiled. “They’re pretty different, aren’t they? I don’t know, it’s weird… ‘cause if I start writing in French, I think more about the words and everything comes out more … I don’t know… lyrical. More poetic.”
“Yeah, I get that,” he said. “I write differently depending on the language too. I don’t know, it’s like it changes the way you phrase things, it just feels different.”
Mika was Lebanese, bilingual in English and French, and he sang in both, so he could understand.
“That happens to you too?” I asked, smiling. “I thought it was just me.”
“No,” he laughed. “Not at all. It's like a different part of your brain takes over.”
“Exactly,” I said. “I don't write the same way in English and French. It's like two different instincts.”
He nodded. “It’s weird.”
“So do you try to fight it, or do you just go with it?” I asked.
“Oh no, I just go with it now,” he said. “I’m like, okay, this is how my music’s supposed to sound in French. Let’s go.”
“Yeah, I do that too now,” I said.
“Yeah?”
“It’s not like I didn’t try. After writing Mr/Mme and Je t’haine, the label asked if I had something with a bit of guitar, you know being a guitarist and all, and I was like, ‘Yeah sure.’ Then I came back with ‘La symphonie des éclairs.’
He laughed.
“Well… there’s guitar in it.”
“There is,” I said. “I didn’t lie.”
That made him laugh again.
“But then, the next two I wrote were piano and strings again… so at that point I just gave up.”
“As you should.”
We both smiled and the producer gave us a little hand gesture.
“Pardon, on s’égare,” Mika said with a laugh.
“Yeah, sorry,” I laughed too. “We went full songwriter for a minute there.”
We’d opened the season of The Voice with ‘La symphonie des éclairs’. It was one of the four songs I’d added to the EP after recording Mr/Mme and Je t’haine along with Cygne, Mélodrame and Addictocrate, which I’d added as an opening track at the last minute. I'd even managed to get my way and keep Les étoiles as a hidden track.
Performing La symphonie des éclairs on the show hadn't been my idea. Hochi had suggested it. She’d said she had fallen in love with the song the first time she heard it. I was more hesitant because I didn’t want people thinking I’d joined the show just to promote myself … I really wasn’t.
And I was new to this. Hoshi was too, although she’d already done the show in Belgium. Amel and Mika had both done it several times, so I figured they probably had a better sense of what worked and what didn't.
But Hoshi kept pushing for it. We'd clicked almost instantly when we met and had become friends very quickly, so I trusted her. We’d gone through different struggles but we understood each other. She’d grown up feeling different, bullied, like she didn’t fit in, and being a lesbian in the industry and having to fight for recognition as an outsider, she’d had to deal with a lot of criticism. But she managed to turn all of that into her music.
Once we started rehearsing the song together, choosing who would sing each line and how we wanted to arrange it, it really was beautiful. There was something special about the way our voices mixed, and when we performed it to open the show, everyone seemed to love it too.
I was still a bit amazed at how my songs had been received everywhere, but especially in France, of course. In my head, the plan was to make an EP and move on. Instead, over the year that followed, I kept going back to all my notes and half-finished demos and five more songs appeared. I released them one by one, and somehow ended up with a full album on my hands. I actually liked those songs, but I hadn't wanted the project to be bigger than an EP at first. If I'm honest, I just wanted to release enough music to get Rob and the label off my back.
The newer songs were lighter, more playful, not nearly as heavy as the others. Mis à Mort was a very sexy, up-tempo song, and so were Trouble Fête, Monnaie, Beaux rêves and even Révérence. They had a different energy from songs like Cygne, Mélodrame or Mr/Mme, less heartbreak, less existential crisis at three in the morning, and people really loved them too.
There was even a TikTok dance to Mis à Mort. Crazy shit.
Seeing our fans from all over the world embrace my French songs too was still something I hadn't quite wrapped my head around, especially because they were so different from what we did with U-N-I. With the band, the music often carried you even if you didn't catch every word, but these songs were built around the lyrics, the words, the little nuances of French, and I'd assumed only French speakers would really connect with them.
Turns out I was wrong.
When they asked if I wanted to be a coach on the show, honestly, I didn’t hesitate. I’d always loved listening to French artists and French songs, and I knew doing the show in France would be a completely different experience than doing it in England or America. I would’ve said no if I’d been asked there. But for some reason, in France, it was appealing.
It felt like something I needed after almost dying two years earlier on a Global Citizen project.
Turns out music is a much safer way to save the world.
Being available in Paris on and off from October to May was completely fine with me, as well as with Rob and the others. We weren't touring that year anyway because none of us were in a rush to go back on the road. Rob would often be in Paris with me, Jordan and Grainne would take the opportunity to travel a little. Alicia and Dylan, Damon and Rachel were just happy to have family time.
Magie would turn one during the season. She'd been born on March 23rd, 2023. 03/23/23.
And we were 32.
There was something oddly satisfying about that. I've always liked mirrors, this feeling that we'd somehow crossed to the other side of one by becoming who we were today. And those mirrored numbers... I don't know. It just felt like everything lined up for a second. Even Rob had to agree there was something a little magical about that.
We had help when we couldn't be with her, but the truth was that none of us wanted to spend too much time away from our kids.
That didn't mean we were slowing down.
Our new album was due out the following February or March, and even though we still had over a year to finish it, it already felt more than halfway there. We'd been writing constantly. Recording constantly. Collaborating constantly.
And honestly? It was shaping up to be one of the best things we'd ever done.
We hadn’t toured the acoustic double album we'd released in December, before Magie was born. We’d only done a few small promotional gigs here and there, so we had plenty of new songs to choose from for the setlist.
Our next stadium shows were going to be fucking mind-blowing.
I genuinely couldn't wait.
The plan was to go back out in June 2025 for about two to three months, easing ourselves back into it with stadium shows and festivals across Europe, nothing too crazy. Because if we were totally honest with ourselves, we fucking missed it. We missed performing. We missed travelling together. We missed all the fun of it.
And then in March 2026, we’d do the big one. The world tour.
By then, the kids would be older, and we'd all had a bit of time to settle into being parents. We'd already started talking about how we'd make it work, where everyone would stay, which parts of the tour the girls and the kids would join us on. We knew we'd have to do things differently than before, but it felt like we'd almost reached a point where that was possible. We weren't trying to fit our families around the band anymore. We were figuring out how to make the band fit around our families.
***
The last audition started and, as soon as I heard the first notes, I realised the contestant was singing one of my songs. Cygne. I couldn't believe it. I mean, seriously? After Rob surprising me, now the last contestant of the season was singing one of my songs. And not just any song. Cygne.
The title was a play on words, again. Cygne, for the bird, but also signe, a sign.
To me, it was the most personal songs I'd written on the EP, honestly, it felt even more personal than Monsieur, Madame, even though it was a lot more poetic and you had to read between the lines. It was a song about that feeling I'd carried throughout my childhood that I wasn't really allowed to exist, and about finally allowing myself to. It was about forgiveness, resilience, letting go, and learning to believe that I deserved to be heard. Really heard.
So he sang, and I listened to him make the song his own.
J'ai jamais voulu te raconter l'histoire d'un cygne pas trop bavard… [I never wanted to tell you the story of a swan who rarely spoke…]
When I'd written it, I wasn't really talking about a swan. I was talking about the kid who learned very early that taking up space wasn't always welcome, who became so used to keeping his head down that, eventually, he stopped believing he deserved to be seen at all.
“Oh my God, I love it,” Hoshi said as she hit her button at the first vocal lift of the song.
Mika and Amel turned too, of course they turned, it was beautiful, he had a clear, and controlled voice that could easily reach the high notes and I could hear the emotions in his tone. I couldn’t see him yet, but I could tell he was the one playing the piano too.
But I didn’t hit my button. I don’t know, I wanted to listen to him sing the song, I’d never heard anyone else sing it and it felt so strange because he was putting his own pain into it, his own struggles. I could tell the lyrics meant something to him.
The other coaches were moved too. They were looking at me to see if I’d turn, encouraging me to do it, but I gestured for them to give me a minute, I needed to hear more.
Then he reached the next part.
J'ai longtemps vu un cygne voler à peine …. [For a long time, I watched a swan barely fly...]
I was that swan.
For a long time, I really was. Listening to him, it felt less and less like he was singing my words and more and more like he was telling me his own story.
“Damn, it’s beautiful,” Mika said.
… Fais preuve de résilience même s'il t'a tout pris. Essaie d'éclairer l'ennemi … [Be resilient, even if he took everything from you. Try to shine a light on your enemy.]
There had been a time when I would've heard that last line and immediately thought of James, of the man who made me believe I wasn't enough. But I didn't anymore.
Maybe the song had never been about him. Maybe it had always been about surviving him. About me, about learning to let go and forgiving without excusing.
Pardonner ses erreurs, c'est accepter l'imperfection... [Forgiving someone's mistakes means accepting imperfection...]
Honestly, for a second, sitting there in that chair, I felt like I was the one being coached. Like I was the one being reminded of everything it had taken to get here.
Then suddenly, Rob appeared in front of me, both hands landing on my chair.
“Hey,” I said with a smile.
"Are you gonna hit it?"
“Yeah.”
“Then, what the fuck are you waiting for?”
I chuckled.
The contestant was harmonising now, playing piano beautifully and slowly building towards the final chorus. It was gorgeous.
“Can I do it?”
I nodded. He immediately hit the button and the audience cheered a little.
My chair started turning. And as it did, the contestant began the final verse.
Je fus longtemps ce cygne volant à peine... [For a long time, I was that swan, barely flying...]
For the first time, I saw him, sitting at the piano, completely immersed in the song … but he saw that I'd turned. The relief that crossed his face made me smile, and he smiled back. For a second, he seemed to lose his focus so I motioned for him to breathe and finish the song. The last verse was where the song really took off vocally, and I wanted to hear him get there before I turned.
But well… Rob.
Beside me, Hoshi was welling up, which didn’t surprise me, I knew how strongly she related to the words. Mika looked emotional too and Amel had both hands pressed together in front of her mouth.
We all stood up after he finished, and he did too, getting up from the piano and walking towards us.
"Ca va?" I asked with a smile.
He nodded, looking nervous but happy.
"Je sais pas trop quoi dire là, je suis pas prêt, tu veux pas…?” I asked Hoshi, basically begging her to save me.
“Je suis pas mieux là,” she said, shaking her head, still overwhelmed, saying she was no better and everyone laughed.
So Amel spoke first and then Mika but eventually I had to talk.
So, I did, we were speaking in French obviously.
"Seriously. I've never heard somebody sing that song before, you know, I’ve barely performed it myself so hearing somebody else sing it like that…,” I laughed softly. “Yeah.”
He nodded.
"The reason I didn't turn right away wasn't because I didn't like it. But I just needed to listen. I don’t know, I just really like the way you understood the song..."
I shrugged. "Maybe better than I did when I wrote it."
That got a surprised laugh out of him.
"No, really, I’m serious. I like how you made it your own. It felt like you've lived it … Maybe like you were telling us … me? … something."
"And honestly...," I paused. "Thank you."
"For what?" he asked.
"For singing it the way you did, like, for meaning every word and putting your soul into it."
“Thank you for writing it,” he said, his voice shaking a little. “Sorry, I’m a bit nervous,” he said and I told him it was okay. “This song….,” he continued, “it kind of saved me. And not just this one. All your songs. Even the U-N-I songs. But this one especially, yeah.”
“Oh, don’t say that.”
“No, it's true. It helped me a lot … sometimes you hear a song at exactly the right moment, you know? And it makes you feel less alone, so … thank you. It meant a lot to me to sing this one tonight.”
For a second, I didn't know what to do with that.
I smiled. “You’re welcome then. You know, songs have a weird way of existing. You write them for yourself, alone at night, and then one day people start singing them back to you and you realise they were never really yours to begin with.”
“Well,” Mika said. “The suspense is unbearable. I absolutely loved what you just did. It was incredibly beautiful and I loved that vulnerability in your voice, but it was so controlled at the same time, and I'd love to try to convince you to come to my team, but should I even bother?” he asked jokingly.
The contestant laughed.
“I’ll choose Mark.”
I was already standing before he'd finished the sentence.
I pulled him into a hug.
“Thank you,” I said again. “It’s gonna be great, I can’t wait.”
When I sat back down, Mika turned to me.
“Honestly, it pisses me off because I really, really would have loved to have him on my team,” he laughed.
“Oh yeah?” I said, curling up cross-legged in my chair with a cheeky grin. “Well, you didn't. I'm the one who got him.”
That got a laugh out of everyone.
“What did you expect Mika? Amel told him. “He was singing his song.”
“Yeah, well, still,” Mika said. “I would’ve loved to work with him. I think he’s one to watch.”
“You can come watch us during coaching sessions if you want,” I added generously.
Mika raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, can I?”
“Yeah. You'll bring us coffee, won't you?”
Everyone gasped dramatically and laughed.
“You don't even drink coffee,” Mika said. He knew I didn’t like it.
I shrugged.
“You’ll think of something.”
People laughed again and we spent a little while talking about the blind auditions being over and how it felt now that we'd finally reached the end.
That last audition had been a bit surreal, honestly. I was still a little shaken by it. The French songs had started as a deeply personal project I wasn’t sure I would even release and now someone was singing one on national television.
Mind you, by then I'd had the balls to perform them live too, which I can assure you came as a bigger shock to me than anyone else. To my complete disbelief, I wasn't even freaking out that much. Maybe because I knew people were on my side. They weren't there to judge me. They were there because they loved the songs and wanted to share that moment with me. It didn't feel like I had anything to prove. It just felt safe.
Not that I'd had much choice in the matter.
The demand had been huge. The first time I walked out of my hotel and heard a crowd of fans singing Mr/Mme back to me from start to finish, and then thanking me for the songs, I realised I probably owed it to them to give it a go, especially with everybody encouraging me to.
So I'd done three showcase dates at the Salle Pleyel in Paris back in January. Dylan had joined me on piano for a few songs, which was nice. It was a lot less terrifying having one of my best friends up there with me. We'd also brought in a cello player because most of the songs had strings. I'd even played a couple of covers and a few U-N-I songs on request, songs that had always been more mine to be honest. Ink, of course. That one was easy since Rob had never really touched it. Yellow and The Scientist too, but they were another story. Rob had made them his over the years, and before I sang them, I jokingly asked the audience not to compare us.
And I brought some dancers on stage for a few numbers because if I was going to do a show, I might as well give people something to remember.
Honestly, it had been incredible. C'était grave stylé, as my French fans would say. I wasn't going to lie, I'd loved it. When they sang the end of Mr/Mme back to me at the end of the show, I couldn't help crying a little.
Oh, and they gave me a platinum record too.
***
As soon as the last audition ended, everyone went backstage. Rob was talking to a few people when I saw him. We quickly closed the distance between us. His arms wrapped around me and mine around him.
We didn't pay much attention to anyone else as we hugged, just happy to be properly together again.
Of course, before long we were kissing a bit. It was inevitable after three weeks apart, even if people were probably watching.
“I missed you,” Rob said with a smile when we finally pulled apart.
“Same.”
I gave him another quick kiss and he pulled me back into a hug for a moment.
“You’re so hot,” he murmured in my ear. “I can’t wait to devour you later.”
“We’ll see about that.”
“We will.”
“Yeah.”
The grin on his face told me he was thinking exactly the same thing I was.
“But not right now,” I laughed, brushing my lips against his one last time.
“You're no fun.”
“I disagree.”
“Yeah?”
“Come on, let's behave ourselves.”
I gave him a playful shove as we headed back over to everyone else.
"Where's Magie?" Hoshi asked immediately.
"With Annie the nanny," Rob said.
She looked at him with a smile.
"Did you hire her because her name rhymed?" She asked me.
"It may have helped," I joked.
"Is she sleeping?" Hoshi asked.
"Hopefully," Rob said.
"Come over tomorrow morning if you want," I told her.
Hoshi nodded happily and Rob grinned at me.
“So, talked to Jordan recently?” he asked.
I knew exactly why.
“This morning,” I said with a wide grin.
Rob sighed. “This morning? Oh come on, the bastard said he wouldn’t tell you.”
“Well, he did. I called him to find out if there really was something going on in London that meant you couldn’t be in Paris. He was being weird so I made him spill the beans.”
Rob laughed.
“Well, for once I knew something before you did. I enjoyed it.”
I laughed too.
“And what did he say about not being able to be in Paris?”
“He covered for you.”
“Yeah? Good. He'd better not snitch on me.”
“Can you believe it, though?” I asked.
“Not really,” Rob admitted. “Apparently neither can he.”
“Why?” Hoshi asked.
“Grainne's pregnant,” I said.
Hoshi's eyes widened.
“Oh wow. Really?”
“Yeah.”
“That's amazing.”
“Yeah,” I said. “He's happy. But he's still processing the fact that this is actually happening.”
Rob laughed.
“That's the understatement of the year.”
“So?” the producer asked me, interrupting us. “What did you think of the surprise? Because from our side it couldn't have gone much better.”
"It was good,” I said. “I was suspicious, but I definitely wasn't expecting that.”
"There were a few moments where we thought somebody was going to ruin it, or that you'd figure it out," the producer added.
“I would’ve played along anyway.”
"Tant mieux," the producer said immediately. "Parce que là, c'est direct dans la bande-annonce."
I smiled when he said that was definitely going in the trailer.
"Well, there you go," Mika said to me.
"What?"
"You're not a coach anymore. You're ratings."
We all laughed, although judging by the look on the producer's face, he probably wasn't joking.
"So, what's cooking for U-N-I?" the producer asked Rob. “Mark said you’re planning a new tour?”
“That's the plan, yeah,” Rob confirmed. “We're using next year to get everything ready. The music, the tour, the stage, the wristbands, all of it.”
“Yeah, we've got loads of ideas,” I added.
“Like what?”
“Well, we want to make the whole experience even more immersive for the audience. Do more with the wristbands, make people feel even more part of the show. And we want to make the tour more environmentally friendly too.”
“Yeah, and we'll be back on the road in 2025, but 2026 is the one we're really building towards.”
“God, that's going to be huge,” Hoshi said. “People are gonna lose their minds. It'll sell out in minutes.”
“Probably,” Rob said.
“For sure.” Mika said. “You've been gone long enough that everyone's going to treat it like a reunion tour.”
“Please don't call it a reunion tour,” I groaned.
“Why?” Hoshi asked.
“Because reunion tours are for bands that broke up … or that are ancient,” I laughed.
“True. You excited?” Hoshi asked Rob.
“Yeah,” he admitted. “I really miss it.”
“That's how you know it's time,” Mika said.
The producer nodded.
“People miss it too. I can’t go anywhere without someone asking me when you're playing Paris again.”
“Tell them, summer 2025,” Rob said.
“No, no, no, don't tell them that until it's been officially announced,” I said. “You never know what can happen.”
Rob gave me a look.
“Okay, fine,” the producer said. “Officially, I know nothing.”
“Exactly,” I said.
***
A little later, while everyone was still enjoying the little after-party, I ended up sitting beside Hoshi.
She watched Rob across the room for a second and smiled.
“I may be a lesbian, but honestly? Your husband is damn handsome.”
I chuckled.
“Yeah, he is. Put him in any room and every head turns.”
“It goes both ways, you know.”
I smiled. “Maybe not for the same reasons.”
“Oh, definitely not for the same reasons,” she said. “Rob's the kind of handsome people can’t help staring at. You're the kind of handsome people want to talk to.”
I laughed.
“No, I mean it, I don’t know, Rob feels a little out of reach, but you don't…”
I nodded.
“Anyway,” she said with a grin, “he's really proud of you, you know.”
I followed her gaze.
“Yeah, I know.”
She smiled.
“He's always been more proud of me than I am of myself.”
“Aww, but you should be proud.”
“You know what? I am.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. It's not something that comes naturally to me. Being proud of myself has always been difficult. But you know what? I’m stubborn as fuck and once I decide I’m going to do something, I don’t quit, no matter how hard it gets. That makes me proud.”
She nodded.
“I know a lot of artists with incredible ideas who never finish their projects because so many things get in the way,” I added and looked across the room again.
“But this one, like all the others... I finished it. The EP. The showcases. The Voice. All of it. Even Global Citizen which we’re still working on, despite what happened…”
Hoshi didn't say anything.
“And yeah,” I smiled. “I'm proud of the little boy who gets to live his dream today.”
“Oh yeah, the little girl who got bullied for being different would be pretty proud too.”
“Yeah, I think she would be.”
She smiled and I thought about it for a moment.
“Sometimes I look at everything we've built, everything we've lived through…” I shook my head. “It’s mad… and honestly, I don't know how we pulled it off.”
My eyes found Rob again.
“But I'm really glad we did. When I think about the kid who dreamed about all of this, I wish I could tell him he'd be okay, you know?”
She nodded with a smile and looked toward Rob.
“You wanna know what he said when I was talking with him and Mika and Lucille? It warmed my heart.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“Lucille was saying how much they love having you on the show. How good you are with the contestants, how she's sure people are going to love the chemistry between us coaches and love you. And Robbie said he was happy people were finally getting to see this side of you more.”
I smiled.
“Yeah, I know. All he's ever wanted is for people to see me the way he does. But that's still strange to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. Taking up that much space. I still catch myself wondering if I'm allowed to have all this attention. If I'm really that person people seem to love so much. It’s easier when Rob is the one standing in the spotlight. But after what I went through, I want to enjoy it even more now, life’s too short.”
“Yeah, I feel the same way. Considering I might go deaf one day, why not enjoy it to the fullest now?”
I squeezed her hand. We’d already talked about it, there was no need to say more. Hoshi had a degenerative hearing condition. She knew there was a chance she could lose much of her hearing one day.
“You know,” I said after a moment, “we're both pretty stubborn.”
That made her laugh.
“Yeah, we are. And you know what I think?” she asked.
“What?”
“I think you've spent years hiding parts of yourself.”
I looked at her.
“And now?”
“Now you don't.”
I smiled.
Hoshi smiled back.
“Turns out people like you a lot because you're real. What they see is what they get.”
“Aw, that's really sweet.”
I leaned over and hugged her.
“Thank you.”
Across the room, Rob looked up and caught me staring.
He smiled.
I smiled back.
“I’m gonna go see him,” I whispered to Hoshi.
“Yeah, you do that.”
I stood up and walked past him, holding his gaze for a second, silently telling him to follow me.
I headed for my dressing room. Rob followed without a word, and a moment later we stepped inside.
As soon as I closed the door behind me, I just looked at him, really looked at him. I’d missed him. His face, his eyes, his hair, his body, the way he smiled, all the little things I loved so much about him.
He did the same, taking me in for a moment before he stepped closer and held my face between his hands. We didn’t say anything, we just stood there, looking at each other, our eyes doing all the talking.
“How do you keep doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Making me fall in love with you more and more all the time.”
I smiled and just kissed him, the familiar feeling of his tongue wrapping around mine sending a shiver through me.
“Fuck, I missed kissing you,” I said.
“So much,” he added.
We made out for a long moment, but as my hand wandered, I felt phone sticking out of his pocket.
“Did you get it?”
A grin immediately appeared on his face.
“Yeah.”
“Let me hear it.”
“That's romantic.”
“Babe, come on, I’ve asked you to send it to me a hundred times.”
“Fine,” he laughed.
He'd gone to New York to record with Pharrell Williams and Jozzy for our Global Citizen project, which worked to fight food insecurity around the world. We'd already recorded two songs with other artists, and this was the third and last one. The plan was to release them for Global Citizen soon.
For this one, Rob had only taken Jordan with him because I couldn't go. Unfortunately for Jordan, it also happened to be the week he found out Grainne was pregnant, so Rob got a front-row seat to the panic. And judging by the phone call I'd had with him that morning, Jordan had already gone through several stages of it.
“So, did the label say when they want to release it?” I asked.
“In a couple of months, I think,” he said, opening the file on his phone. He pulled out his earbuds, handed one to me, and kept the other for himself as we sat down on the sofa.
I smiled as the song started. I'd already heard bits of it before, but not the finished version.
“Oh.”
I immediately looked at him.
“Oh, that's really good.”
His grin widened.
“Yeah?”
I leaned against him as we listened to the rest of the song. Rob ran his fingers through my hair for a moment before letting his hand settle on my arm, his thumb moving back and forth while the music played.
“No, seriously. That's really fucking good,” I said when it ended.
“So what was Pharrell like?”
“Exactly what you'd expect, mad talented, but dead easy to talk to. No ego, none of that. We spent half the day messing around with ideas before we even started recording. I liked how much he cares… and Jozzy too. Yeah it was class.”
“Good, I’m glad this project’s finally coming together.”
“Yeah,” he smiled. “I’m sorry I wanted to give it all up. You were right.”
“Of course I was,” I laughed.
We didn’t speak for a moment and just enjoyed being close to each other.
“I just don’t wanna think about it anymore,” Rob said eventually.
“I’m fine,” I insisted.
“I know,” he said, squeezing my hand. “It’s just, I haven’t been away from you since… so…”
“I’m here.”
“I know.”
A second later he shifted on top of me, clearly deciding he'd had enough serious conversation for the evening.
He looked into my eyes and reached for my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb. Then he lifted my chin playfully and just stared at me for a moment, taking me in with that look that always made my heart skip a beat.
“Did you do what I asked?” he asked sensually.
“Yes. Did you?” I asked back with a little wink.
He nodded.
We’d made a deal, no jerking off for a few days until we could be together again.
“Do we have to wait to get back to the hotel?”
“No, we don’t have to wait if you don’t want to, we just have to be quick … and quiet. You never know who’s outside that door,” I said with a laugh.
“Do you want to?”
I held his gaze for a second but I didn’t answer with words. Before he could react, my lips were pressed against his.
I kissed him hungrily and slipped my hand under his T-shirt, helping him pull it over his head. Then I tugged my own over mine.
He wasted no time either, hooking his fingers into the waistband of my trousers and pulling them down in one quick motion, then doing the same with his own.
Then our hands were all over each other as our still-covered crotches brushed against one another, and we made out some more. My blood was surging through my body, and my nerves were tingling with excitement.
Eventually, his right hand snaked between us to stroke my cock before easing his fingers into my boxers.
“Oh god,” I groaned as he teased the tip of my dick before sliding the foreskin back and forth over the ridge.
“Tell me what you want,” I moaned.
I wanted to hear the words; we were both pretty horny and it came through in my voice.
“Listen,” he said, his lips brushing mine. “I want your tongue,” he whispered in my ear, “then I want your fingers, then I want your dick, and then I want all the jeez you’ve been saving up all over me…”
“Nice…. In that particular order?”
He smiled. “Do you think that’s something you can do?”
I nodded as his hand continued to slide up and down my shaft and waves of pleasure coursed through my body.
“Mm,” I mumbled, unable to say more as he clutched me harder.
I enjoyed Rob’s breath against my cheek as he kissed my face, and then I savoured the familiar taste of his tongue when his lips returned to mine. Our kiss was so deep that it made my whole body tingle.
We made out for what seemed like a long time, my hands wrapped around his neck or feeling the firmness of his upper arms and his hand didn’t stop pleasuring my dick. Neither of us said a word, because we didn’t need to.
Because I knew everyone would soon start leaving and we couldn’t stay in my dressing room for hours, I decided to move things along. I moved from underneath him to on top of him and made it clear I wanted him on his stomach, keeping a hand on his back to stop him from turning around.
As I massaged his back and slowly moved my hands down to his butt, still covered by his underwear, he grabbed his phone and started one of his playlists, hoping it would cover any noise we might make.
Slowly, I pulled his tight boxers down to reveal his firm, toned butt cheeks and removed them. I knew that if he’d ask for it, that meant he’d come prepared and I wanted to give him what he wanted. I had missed that perfect ass.
Rob moaned as I parted his ass cheeks and the sight in front of me instantly made my mouth water at the sight.
I first teased his hole, dabbing at it lightly, then circling my fingertips around it. Then, I gave his butt a few hard kisses and went for it, alternating between flicking my tongue against his hole and forcing it inside him or taking one of his balls in my mouth, swivelling it around and then sucking on the other one.
“Oh shit,” Rob said with a sigh as I reached underneath him and played with his shaft, still savouring his ass or his balls.
“You brought lube?” I asked when I sensed from his groans that he was ready for more.
“Of course,” he said, gesturing towards his jacket, and I reached for it.
I quickly drizzled lube onto his hole, and teased it again, slowly working a finger into him and his hips bucked at the feel of it. I kissed his shoulder blades and began to ease a second finger, and then a third. He was doing his best to stay quiet but his moans made my dick twitch in anticipation.
That went on for a while longer, I wanted to make sure he was as prepared as he could be to really enjoy my dick inside him.
Eventually, Rob turned around and I lay down beside him. He didn’t have to say anything; I knew exactly what position he wanted. I hooked my arm under his knee and he pulled me close.
“Mm,” he mumbled as he swirled his tongue around mine. Rob quickly reached down and guided my dick to his already opened hole. He seemed to relax all his muscles as I penetrated him.
He let out a loud sigh as we started making love and I looked into his eyes and slid a little deeper inside him. He was tighter than usual, since it had been a while, and neither of us was complaining. He felt so good around me. I gave him another kiss, then quickened and deepened my thrusts.
“Oh, I missed this,” I said as I played with one of his nipples and stroked his chest.
“I know, me too, give me more,” he said.
I raised his knee higher and watched my flesh pummel his ass.
“Oh, yeah, you feel so fucking good, don’t stop. Come on, fuck me.”
“You mean like this?” I asked as I rammed into him especially hard.
“Oh yeah!” he groaned as his body shuddered with pleasure. “Give it to me....”
Rob began jacking off so I let go of his leg to take his hand away and fist his erection with my own hand, my arm still supporting him.
I pistoned into him faster and faster. My grip on his cock tightened as I jerked him off. My dick tingled harder and harder.
His hand returned to his dick and we kept fucking for a few moments.
We were clearly both getting close.
“Yeah, fuck me, fuck me,” he whined and those words almost sent me over the edge.
‘Oh god, wait, I’m gonna cum,” I said with urgency and pulled out before I did. I took a few deep breaths to stop myself from crossing the edge and calm my dick down.
“You don’t wanna cum,” he said as he pulled me in for a kiss.
“No, I don’t wanna cum yet.”
“What if I want you to?” he mumbled in my mouth.
“Oh, don’t worry, you won’t have to wait very long, but I wanna enjoy this a bit more,” I said and lowered my mouth to his dick.
I wanted to blow him. I knew just how to drive his body insane so I went at just the right speed, with just the right amount of suction. I ran my tongue up and down his shaft, and around his tip.
Rob just watched me, holding my head a little but letting me do whatever I wanted. I could tell the pleasure kept building and building so I stopped and quickly resumed our earlier position.
I buried myself inside him again and started thrusting away.
“Oh god, fuck,” he groaned and ran his lips across mine. “After, it’s my turn, yeah? I’ll fuck you at the hotel.”
“Yeah, okay,” I smiled in anticipation, feeding my whole length into him and fucking him deep and fast.
“Oh God,” he almost giggled. “I’m so close, make me cum hands free, babe, come on…,” he moaned. “Oh god, fuck, it’s so good.”
“Oh like that?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
My thrusts were deep and strong, not fast enough to bring me off yet, but strong enough to make him cum. I kept things hard and intense and I was soon rewarded by a thick white fluid coming out of his dick.
He moaned way too loudly so I covered his mouth with my hand and he grasped his dick and finished milking it, a few more thick spurts covering his abdomen.
“Fuck yeah,” he gasped as his muscles relaxed.
“You’re so hot, baby,” I said as I spread all the jizz that had erupted from his dick over his skin.
That was enough to make my orgasm build again. I could’ve lasted a little bit longer, but I decided not to. I could feel the pleasure well up in my body so I pulled out of him and jerked my dick fast.
“Mm, yeah, come on, let me taste you, I want to watch you shoot, cum all over my face.”
“Yeah, you want me to cum on your face?”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t need to be told twice. I gave my dick a few more jerks and watched as my own jizz started to shoot out the tip and shower his face. By the time I stopped, his face and upper body was covered in my cum.
We both laughed a little and then we kissed hard, sharing some of my cum.
“Oh babe, that was so good,” he said when we broke off our kiss.
“Yeah, it was.”
I lay my body on top of his, despite the mess I had made on him, my head against his shoulder and he ran his fingers through my hair.
We stayed like that for a long moment.
“We’re gonna have to clean up and leave,” I said eventually, looking up at him.
“Yeah, unfortunately,” he said.
He kissed me again, softly this time and then looked intently into my eyes
I smiled a little and he smiled back.
“You’re happy.”
“What?”
“You’re happy.”
I laughed softly. “Yeah, I am, I’m happy to see you.”
“Yeah, but that’s not what I mean.” His thumb brushed across my cheek.
“And what do you mean?”
I already knew.
“You’re just... happy. It’s like you finally let go of something. You’re not carrying it around anymore.”
He smiled.
“And you’re even more beautiful when you are.”
“Oh shut up,” I complained, even though I was smiling.
“See? There it is.”
“What?”
“That smile.”
I groaned and buried my face against his shoulder.
He laughed and wrapped his arms around me.
“Fifteen years,” he murmured. “And you’re sill my favourite person.”
“I’d better be,” I smiled, pecking his lips a few times. “I love you.”
***
“So, you'll still be my guest coach next week?” I asked as we got dressed again.
We’d all been asked to bring in a special guest before the Cross Battle. Production had split our teams into three groups of five, and together we had to decide which two contestants from each group wouldn't be moving on.
I had a suspicion this new rule had magically appeared to get Rob on the show. Hochi and I had checked and no other version of The Voice had done this. Guest mentors sure, but asking the coaches to bring in a guest coach to help cut contestants before the Cross Battles had even begun. That was new…. Suspiciously new.
Me agreeing to do the show had already been a huge surprise to them. I hadn't asked for any more money than the other coaches were getting, I didn't need it. Even after the French EP, they hadn't really expected me to say yes. I wasn't exactly the sort of person people expected to see coaching on The Voice France. But they'd asked anyway because they wanted someone different, and they seemed convinced I was that person.
So, getting Rob on there as well, the two of us together... I could understand the appeal.
“Of course. It'll be fun,” Rob replied.
“It'll be brutal. They're all good. I genuinely don't know how I'm supposed to eliminate two out of five people. It's cruel.”
“I can be cruel.”
I laughed.
“I know.”
“You should ring them and tell them I’ve pulled out,” he laughed.
“Oh, that’s evil.”
“Tell them you’ve got someone else instead.”
“Like who?”
“Doesn’t matter. Let’s just see how long it takes before somebody burst into tears,” he said with a grin.
I snorted.
“Oh, that’d be more fun than sacking the contestants before the show even starts.”
He laughed. “Don’t worry, I can do that. I'll just keep the best three and that’ll be that.”
“It won’t be that easy.”
“Sure it will.”
“Rob.”
“Mark.”
I laughed.
“I'm keeping the one who sang Cygne,” he said.
“See? That's exactly my point. You want to keep the only one you've heard.”
“Correct.”
“I've heard all of them, so I want to keep all of them.”
“This is why you have a guest coach.”
“You're going to have to sign paperwork, by the way.”
“Absolutely not.”
“It's already too late.”
“I knew there was a catch.”
***
"Why do you think Eloy won?" the interviewer asked me a couple days after the show ended.
"Why did he win? Well, because I just think... he's genuine, you know? He's someone who sings from the heart. He sings because he needs to, and I think people are looking for honesty, that's all. And I think that's what made the difference...
Now, I'm not saying the other contestants were singing for the wrong reasons or anything, but obviously I'm here talking about Eloy, so I'm going to talk about him. But mostly, I think there's something really touching about him. It's what I told him yesterday,” I said looking at Eloy. “There are a lot of people who sing well. And then there are people who sing well and have that little something extra. You don't really know where it comes from, they just have it. And I think Eloy is one of those people.”
"Eloy, what can you add to what Mark just said?"
"That's beautiful. I'm really grateful to him. He was an incredible coach."
“Honestly, I think he would've won with or without me. But I’m grateful too, that I got to be part of his journey.”
“How did you work with him?”
“I really liked taking a tailored approach. Eloy is a bit like me, actually. He's shy … he can be very shy so there was this paradox with him between putting himself out there, showing his strengths and his weaknesses in front of thousands of people, and at the same time being terrified of doing it.”
“I was terrified,” Eloy confirmed.
“Yeah, but during rehearsals, you could feel that sometimes he was scared of the moment. He could lose his footing a little bit. But then, once the live show started, once it was happening, there were no more questions. He just went for it. And that's something I do too, so I recognised myself in him.”
“So, you think that's why you were able to help him?”
“Maybe. Help him trust himself a little more and gain confidence, but the talent was already there.”
Eloy was the guy who sang Cygne during the Blind Auditions.
And he won.
Which meant I did too!!
Also, the finalists opened the final with Les Étoiles. Apparently, nobody thought to tell me they would.
Unfortunately, hiding it as a secret track on the EP didn't stop people from finding it … or singing it … or loving it.
Rob was way too pleased about that.
And, well... they'd made it so good. Honestly, it was way better than my version. There were confetti everywhere by the end too. Which, let's be honest, never hurts. You should always want more glitter. I literally wrote that in Addictocrate.
The second they started singing, Hoshi got up from her chair and came to sit on the armrest of mine and she stayed there as we watched the finalists perform.
They'd done a great arrangement, and I thought each voice added something special to it. They all brought something different to the song and really made it their own, it was a lot of fun to watch.
As the audience applauded, Rob appeared behind my chair and Hoshi laughed.
“See?” he whispered in my ear.
“Go away.”
“You loved it.”
I turned, smiling, and lightly shoved him.
“Go away.”
“You can thank me again later,” Rob said playfully and disappeared.
After opening the final, the host turned to me.
“Ça va, Mark? Not planning to murder any of them?”
The audience burst out laughing.
I buried my face in my hands and Hoshi patted my shoulder, briefly pulling my head against her side.
“Just my husband over there, but I’ll deal with that later,” I joked.
Then, I looked back at the finalists.
“Honestly, I did not expect it to be this good. Well done!”
“It was such a good opening song,” Hoshi said as she got up. “Now you've made me nervous.”
For a song I never wanted anyone to hear, it had taken me somewhere pretty incredible.
I had no intention of thanking Rob later … not with words anyway.
But let me tell you, people thanked Hoshi and me with plenty of words after that.
Because we'd written a song together called Ne saute pas. It had been written backstage, in dressing rooms, during lunch breaks, and even at night, calling or sending each other messages instead of sleeping. Neither of us had really planned for it to become anything serious, we were just writing together because it was fun and it killed time.
I don't even remember exactly when the idea took shape. We talked a lot during filming and ended up writing things down. Our fans often told us how our songs had helped them through difficult moments and, I don't know, I guess we wanted to give them something back by turning all those conversations into a hopeful tune about holding on when things get hard.
We were proud we’d managed to finish it well enough to perform it live during the after-show following the final.
The response was a little overwhelming, so we decided to record it properly in the studio.
Funny how things work out sometimes.
Your treacherous husband plays a song on French television that you never wanted anyone to hear and suddenly there's this butterfly effect.
Turns out he was right.
…..
Don't tell him I said that.
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