U-N-I

I woke on my left side, my eyes not quite ready to open. I rolled onto my back and realised Rob wasn’t in bed anymore. I listened for any sound from the living room, but there was nothing, everything was completely quiet and dark. It was still the middle of the night.

For a few minutes, I tried to fall back asleep, hoping Rob would soon join me in bed again… but he didn’t. I knew he had to be in the living room, and I had been awake alone for far too long. I wanted him right next to me, to snuggle up against him and drift back to sleep.

After a moment, I stretched my arms out fully and pulled myself out of bed to go look for him.

He was sitting on the couch, headphones on, a MacBook balanced on his lap. I stepped closer and rested my hands on his shoulders, massaging them gently. He turned, slightly startled, and pulled his headphones off.

“Hey,” he said softly.

I jumped over the back of the couch and landed beside him. I drew my knees up and wrapped my arms around them.

“Whatchya doing?” I asked, glancing at his screen. I saw he was using an audio editing program I didn’t like.

He shrugged. “Just working on something I recorded with the vocal coach.”

I shook my head. “Il me rend dingue ce logiciel,” I muttered in French.

He let out a soft chuckle. “Are we mumbling in French again?”

I yawned and let go of my knees. “Apparemment, ouais,” I replied in French, smiling.

“You’re all gonna be stuck in the French accent when I get back, aren’t you?” he joked, remembering our usual fun while promoting in Paris.

“Maybe. Now that I’m gone, they’re actually gonna have to start speaking to people,” I shot back with a grin.

He gazed at me and smiled, letting his eyes travel over me. “My sexy French boy,” he said.

I was still naked, as bare as the day I was born. “I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t seen you in over two months, but I swear you just keep getting hotter with age.”

I smiled and shifted closer. “So do you,” I responded, dropping my voice down to a low whisper.

Slowly, I slid my hand under his t-shirt, tracing the slight hair on his chest and running my fingers over his pecs. “You’re gorgeous,” I murmured. “You look so good. I think I’m gonna walk around with a constant boner for the next few days.”

He grinned seductively,

“Yeah, I do look pretty good,” he said, and I looked at him with amusement. “I mean, I’d fuck me right now,” he added with a grin.

I laughed out loud. “Jeez, you’re obsessed with yourself,” I teased.

He nodded, completely unapologetic. “You’re gonna love the gym here.”

“Oh yeah? Why?”

“Because they like - give you massages and stuff.”

We fell quiet for a moment. I reached up and touched his cheek, my fingers lingering before I pressed a gentle kiss there. I moved closer to his lips and whispered, “I woke up all alone. It’s so good to have you back. I don’t want to wake up without you anymore.”

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“I don’t know about you, but I slept like shit for weeks. I hate sleeping without you. So… can we go back to bed? Please?” I pleaded softly and placed another few kisses on his lips that he returned gently.

“I’m kind of restless,” he said.

I smiled wickedly, my hand sliding to his stomach, caressing it lazily. “We don’t have to sleep. I can think of one thing we haven’t done yet. Something I’d really love to do if we’re not going to be sleeping.”

He let out a quiet chuckle, but then his gaze drifted away from mine. He sighed softly, closed his laptop, and set it aside on the couch. The reaction wasn’t what I had expected, and a flicker of apprehension ran through me. I watched his face carefully. He seemed lost in his thoughts, clearly weighing whether or not to say what was on his mind.

“You alright?” I asked, my voice gentle.

His eyes met mine, and a small, reassuring smile curved his lips. He nodded. Slowly, his hand traveled from mine to my arm, and then to the nape of my neck. He drew me close and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

“Babe, I wanted you so bad earlier… so bad,” he said, his voice thick with passion.

“So did I,” I whispered, parting his lips with my tongue without thinking.

We kissed, hard and intense for a moment, before he pulled back slightly to look into my eyes. “I’ve waited too long to feel like this again. I didn’t want to ruin it… It was amazing. I’ve missed you so much.”

I nodded, sensing what was coming. “But?”

“…But we need to talk,” he said, his tone determined.

He let his hand slide slowly from my neck back to my arm.

“Oh,” I sighed, my gaze dropping nervously. “Is it confession time?”

I looked back up, meeting his gaze. He had a serious, almost anxious expression. “We can’t avoid it forever. We shouldn’t have even had sex.”

I breathed out. I was getting really worried,

“Can’t this wait until morning?” I asked, looking into his beautiful, expressive green eyes. His gaze told me otherwise.

“Alright,” I sighed nervously. “I guess I’d better put something on for this.”

I took his hand in mine and began to stand, letting go only when I could no longer hold it.

Shit, I thought. Here we were. Everything was perfect, finally together, and I felt so happy, so complete. I wanted that moment to last. Why hadn’t I just stayed in bed? I wasn’t ready to talk. It was three in the morning. I was jet-lagged. We had just had incredible make-up sex, and now, inevitably, we were about to argue. I could feel it coming, and it was the last thing I wanted. All I wanted was to snuggle against him, feel his body, his skin, and drift back to sleep. I didn’t want to confront everything that had gone wrong between us, not yet.

I opened my suitcase, slipped on a pair of joggers, and returned to the couch.

He had moved the laptop to the coffee table. Sitting cross-legged, he was waiting for me.

I sat down next to him. He was staring at his fingernails, and for a long moment, neither of us said anything. Even though he had been the one to say we needed to talk, he seemed extremely reluctant to begin.

Finally, he glanced up at me. The apprehensive look on his face made my stomach tighten. My eyebrows drew together, and after a few seconds of awkward silence, I asked hesitantly,

“What d’you do?”

Although he hadn’t admitted anything over the phone, I knew he had done something he was scared to tell me. I wasn’t overly worried at first, but as I watched his expression, the possibility that he might have done something unforgivable hit me. My heart started racing. A tidal wave of anxiety and jealousy washed over me. What if he had…

“You didn’t…” I stammered, my voice tight with tension. He saw my worry and knew exactly what I was thinking.

He shook his head, his expression calm and reassuring.

“No, no, of course not.”

“Oh,” I breathed.

I didn’t know exactly what he had done, but I felt some relief that it hadn’t gone as far as him being fucked by another guy. I had decided that no matter how difficult it might be, I could forgive him if he had cheated, but that was the line we had always drawn. As much as we enjoyed bottoming for each other, Rob even more than me, we were both more tops than bottoms, which was why we were versatile. It was something we had never really considered during the few threesomes we’d had. Sure, we liked broadening our horizons by playing with other guys, but for some reason, bottoming had never been part of it. I couldn’t imagine him doing that with anyone else, at least not without me there to agree to it. I just couldn’t. I mean, his ass was fucking mine.

“Then what?” I asked, watching him. “You fucked some guy, didn't you?” I asked anxiously, hoping he hadn’t, but knowing that if he’d found it so difficult to confess, then it had to be it.

He bit his lower lip, unwilling to look at me at first. After a few seconds, his eyes met mine. He was about to say it, I knew, but he didn’t have to. I sort of saw it in his eyes.

It hit me. I gasped and stared at him.

“You fucked Sam?” I asked, my voice tense. My mouth dropped open, and I let out a huff, stunned.

He narrowed his eyebrows and winced.

“Just to break the ice,” he said, kind of jokingly, though knowing it wasn’t something I’d take lightly.

My mouth dropped open again, and I let out another huff, stunned.

“You’re bullshitting me,” I said, my disbelief clear. I realised I might have guessed it sooner, but staring at him now, I could hardly believe he had actually done it - and without me.

He slowly shook his head, no longer trying to downplay it. I frowned, searching for words but finding only more questions. My eyes demanded answers, and my tone sharpened.

“Are you serious? For fuck’s sake… you fucked him?”

He took a deep breath and began to explain.

“The first week I was here, I went to a dinner party with Claire, and he was there. It was so boring that he suggested going to a gay club…”

He paused.

“You fucked him in the club?!” I exclaimed immediately, already certain of the answer.

He pursed his lips, uneasy.
“Well… he was drunk, and he came on to me…”

I let out a dumbfounded chuckle.

“I’m not using that as an excuse. I’m not going to insult you by giving you excuses. It shouldn’t have happened, and I shouldn’t have let it happen.”

I rolled my eyes. I tried not to get too upset, it wasn’t as if I had been a saint myself, but in that moment, I wasn’t thinking about what I’d done, so I let a joke slip out.

“No, you shouldn’t have. We were supposed to do that together.”

He gave a nervous, guilty laugh.

“It was so stupid. But the way he acted with me… I should’ve turned him down, like all the others. But I don’t know. It all happened too fast. He said he wanted to have some fun, and before I could even process it, we were in the stall and he was unzipping my fly.”

“So, what, did you think I wouldn’t be too mad because we joked about doing him?” I said, my voice tight, pacing slightly as I tried to absorb it all. I needed space, some distance from the shock and hurt.

Even though I could understand how he might let something like this happen, especially with Sam, someone we had always joked about including in a threesome, I was still shocked and hurt that he had actually cheated on me with him. Jealousy and worry washed over me in equal measure.

I shook my head, trying to make sense of my own feelings.

“So let me get this straight,” I said, glaring at him. “I make you come to this place so you can work out your problems… our problems. And the first thing you do when you get here is go to a gay club and fuck another guy ?”

He couldn’t hold my gaze and looked away slightly. He rested his elbow on the back of the couch and bit his fingernail.

“Yeah, that sounds bad,” he admitted with a slight nod.

“You think?” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

I shook my head, dumbfounded.
“And then you go and write music with him… for me?”

“Yeah, I did do that,” he acknowledged quietly.

“I can’t believe you fucked him,” I said, still standing, needing space from him, some distance from the shock and hurt.

After a few seconds, he said, “Mark, it was just meaningless sex. You were all I could think about.”

I turned back to face him. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

He didn’t answer.

“Jeez… when you said he was really helpful, I didn’t think that’s what you meant,” I said, my voice breaking with a mix of disappointment and jealousy.

He shook his head apologetically. “I told you, it was stupid. It didn’t mean anything. We both felt bad afterward. But we talked a lot. We went through the same shit, and he did help me figure out my own head.”

“Yeah?” I nodded and exhaled. “I wanted to thank him, but now… I’m not sure what to do.”

I began pacing around the room, my hands clenched at my sides. He stayed quiet, only glancing at me occasionally. He could see I wasn’t taking this lightly. Sam wasn’t just some random guy I’d never see again. Sam was someone I might have to see, someone he liked, someone he’d spent time with, confided in, and written music with.

“Talk to me,” he said. “Please. Just say something.” The worry and tension in his voice were palpable.

“Damn, you keep saying you don’t want to hurt me, but you failed again… because it hurts!”

He stayed quiet, not wanting to make it worse. After a moment, I shoved my hands into my pockets and stood in front of him, taking a slow breath and trying to steady myself.

“So… tell me why?” I said softly. He looked up at me, his eyes full of regret. “Why did you do this?”

He exhaled and shrugged slightly, his gaze drifting away. “I don’t know. I must have a compulsive need to wreck everything.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, let’s not bring David Bowie into this.”

He half-smiled, realizing I’d caught the reference, then stared at me nervously. “I told you, he started flirting with me, and I didn’t stop him. I wasn’t thinking…”

“That’s bullshit,” I snapped.

“That’s the truth,” he said defensively.

“No, it’s not,” I shot back. “Guys hit on you all the time. You could cheat on me every day of the week if you wanted. You’ve never let it happen before - not drunk, not anything. You’ve always stopped it. You’ve never crossed the line. Ever.”

He stared into space, blinking.

“So why?” I said, my voice tightening. “Why this time? Why with him? It’s not because we joked about it, I don’t buy that for a second. So tell me… why?”

I couldn’t believe I was doing this, but I was. I didn’t want to argue, not now, and yet here I was, forcing him to spill everything, everything he was actually mad at me about. He hesitated. We both knew this was the start of the biggest argument we’d ever had. There was no avoiding it now.

Our eyes locked for a long moment before he finally said, “’Cause he was there.”

I nodded, stung by the simplicity of his admission.

“He was there, and you weren’t,” he said, sadness heavy in his voice.

“So it was my fault?” I asked. It wasn’t as if his response was completely uncalled for.

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “But I was missing you. I was sad. He was sweet and fun, and he cared about me. He made me forget everything for a while.”

I frowned. “He made you forget you had a boyfriend?”

“You weren’t there,” he repeated with resentment. “You fucking left.” His voice rose, frustration spilling out. “He sure as hell didn’t make me forget about that.”

“I had to leave,” I said, never taking my eyes off him.

“Says who? Tom? Dylan?” he shot back. “Don’t you think you know me better than they do? I didn’t need you to leave.”

“Yes, you did. You needed me to call you out on your bullshit, because no one else could do that for you. You were under too much stress, and you needed time away from everything.”

“I didn’t need time away from you,” he said, standing up. “I’m not sure you can say the same,” he added dejectedly. “I didn’t need you to leave. All I really needed was for you to stay,” he said sadly, tears brimming in his eyes.

I felt myself welling up too, so I took a deep breath, trying to hold my emotions in check, though the feeling was strong and hard to contain.

“Fuck, Rob,” I said, my voice tight. “I did what had to be done to protect you… and everything we’ve built together. What’s so wrong with that?”

“Nothing, I guess,” he whispered. A few tears slipped down his face, and he brushed them away quickly.

I knew too well where this argument was headed, and I didn’t like it. Fuck, I really didn’t want to do this.

“Rob, I love you,” I said, wholeheartedly.

He nodded, his eyes dropping. After a pause, he spoke. “I know you do.”

Then he looked up and locked eyes with me.

“But you doubted it.”

I avoided his eyes and let out a short sigh. Then, still struggling to hold back my tears as I saw the heartache in his, I said plainly,

“You made me doubt it.”

I could feel myself getting angry at him again for not spending time with me, but I knew it was pointless to bring it up, our real problems lay elsewhere. I didn’t want to be the one to say it though, not yet.

“You were never there,” I said, resentment edging my voice. “I had to make a fucking appointment just to spend time with you!”

“I was only doing our job,” he shot back.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Our job is to write music together, promote it, and play it live. That’s it. That’s our job! You… you were doing everything but that. You were just a bad headline waiting to happen!”

“Oh my god, I’ve apologized a million times,” he complained, throwing his arms up.

“Yeah, and I told you, it’s in the past. You’re the one who thinks,”

I paused mid-sentence and shook my head with a loud sigh. Fuck, I just didn’t want to go there. I was too worried about the consequences it might have. I didn’t want us to argue so much that we’d end up spending more time apart.

“Why did you neglect the band so much?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.

He shrugged. “I don’t know… because you were…” He hesitated. “…focused on delivering the album on time, and I just wasn’t… I just wasn’t into it. There was too much happening at once, and I was sick of everything. I didn’t want to do it anymore, not so soon. It meant throwing ourselves into promotion again, and maybe that’s not how I wanted us to spend time together.”

I collected my thoughts for a few seconds. “Is that what you think? That I devoted too much time to the band?”

“Yeah, you did,” he confirmed quietly.

“And why did that become an issue?” I asked, though I thought I already knew. I had a hunch about what he had told Rachel, and that she had refused to tell me. “The band’s always come first,” I added.

He didn’t respond. He was upset and struggling to keep control of his emotions, just like I was. He knew why I had asked, but he was as afraid as I was to speak the truth aloud.

“Rob, why did you do coke again when you knew it was the one thing I wouldn’t tolerate?”

Again, he stayed silent.

“Alright, then answer me this… Why did you need me to stay?” I asked, my voice breaking, tears spilling over. This was my last attempt to make him say what had really driven him to behave the way he had.

“I think you know why,” he said softly.

I stared at him, shaking my head slightly, my chest tight and my mind spinning.

“Fuck, I hate that you’re even thinking this,” I whispered, brushing at my tears.

“Thinking what?” he said, though it wasn’t really a question.

“That…” I hesitated, my voice tight. “That the band is what holds us together.”

He looked down, swallowing hard.

“That if it weren’t for the band, we might not be together… that I’d have moved on to someone else,” I said quietly. I knew it was a fear he carried, irrational, but real, that maybe if I weren’t so invested in the band, I might have looked elsewhere. It was ridiculous, but I could see how much it haunted him.

My chest tightened, now that I had said it out loud and there was no taking it back. Regret stung immediately, but it had to come out.

I inhaled and exhaled deeply.

“Rob, the band is not what holds us together,” I said, my voice trembling. I paused, searching his eyes. “And even if it does, that doesn’t make it bad. It just means our relationship is stronger. It makes us fight for it more… and maybe we need that.”

His eyes finally met mine, there was intensity in them.

“Yes, it does,” he said quietly, his voice low and rough. “But I’d rather not have to fight for it.”

His tone made my chest ache, and I let out a sad sigh. I stared into his watery eyes, feeling an overwhelming need to reassure him. For a long moment, the silence between us was heavy, filled with everything we hadn’t said. I could feel the tension in the air, a mix of fear, hurt, and longing that pressed against my ribs.

Finally, I stepped closer. I cupped his face in my hands and pulled him toward me. Pressing our foreheads together, I whispered,

“Please, don’t think I’m with you because of the band. I’m with you because I love you… no matter what happens.”

His gaze softened and he nodded. I held his gaze, letting the weight of my stare carry what I couldn’t put into words.

“Baby… I love you. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I don’t,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper, realizing I had almost repeated what he had written in the song.

He sniffed lightly, blinking back tears.
“And yet… seeing Damien again… that was the first thing you did,” he said, his voice tight with hurt.

I exhaled and stepped back, letting my hands fall from his face. He didn’t move, his eyes fixed on me, searching for something.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “That’s not fair. He came back because he saw we were struggling. I didn’t seek him out. It wasn’t like that. I hadn’t heard from him in over two years. I had no idea he’d show up at the studio.”

“But you stayed in New York because you wanted to see him again. Because you were confused about us, you were having doubts. You know you can be honest with me about that.”

“Oh, so now you want me to be honest?” I snapped, upset that he even thought I hadn’t been.

“Yes, please. Let’s try that,” he said calmly but firmly, waiting.

I met his eyes, took a breath, and let it out.

“Alright, then, yes!” I exclaimed. “I did expect him to show up at Jimmy’s party, and I stayed because I wanted to see him again. And yes, seeing him again was confusing… because he’s still so hung up on me, because all he wants is to be with me. When you… ” I waved my hand sharply, “you had better things to do than make time for me. You stopped prioritizing us. And fuck, you even stopped prioritizing the band. And what for?” My voice cut through the room. “To see what’s most important to me? Like that’s even a choice I should have to make!”

“Fuck, I didn’t do that on purpose! I just… I just had enough of our lives revolving around the band!”

“Well, so did I!” I shot back, louder than I meant to. “What do you think? I was under the same pressure as you. I’m not made from the songwriting gods! How was I supposed to do it all on my own? I needed you.”

“Yeah, so it always comes back to the band,” he said, confronting me.

“No, you don’t get to throw that back at me. Yes, it always comes back to the band. Of course it does. It always has. It’s shaped every decision we’ve ever made, and it means as much to you as it does to me. But you checked out. You stopped showing up. You stopped fighting for us. And then you wonder why I got confused?”

He ran a hand through his hair, his voice tightening, cracking with frustration. “It was too much. Everything was the band, the band. And you know what? I think I’m tired of coming second.”

I shook my head.

“Of coming second ? So you really think the band is more important to me than you are?”

“All I’m saying,” he replied, his voice breaking, “is that I want to matter more to you than the band. I want to be your priority. I don’t want us to stay together just because we feel like we have to.”

“Well, neither do I,” I said, frowning, my voice firm. “Rob, I didn’t leave because I loved you any less, and I didn’t leave to protect the band.” I let the words hang for a moment, letting him feel them.

“I left because… I just couldn’t worry about you anymore.” My words came out louder than I intended, full of frustration. “It felt like no matter what I did or what I said, it wasn’t enough.”

He seemed to understand that. I paused and then softened my voice.

“And the only reason I saw Damien again… it was to make sure he moves on with his life and he stops chasing after me. I’ve never wanted a relationship with him. I just… I want to make sure we don’t fuck up ours.”

He took a deep breath.

“What happened with him?” he asked, his voice tight, demanding a straight answer.

“Well… I didn’t fuck him!” I blurted, still mad that he had fucked Sam.

He rolled his eyes, a hint of disbelief flickering across his face.

“But… you said you had something to tell me.”

“Yeah, I do. He came on strong. He tried,” I admitted, the words tasting bitter in my mouth.

He grimaced. “So… what happened?” he asked, wary.

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, fidgeting. Even though I didn’t consider what happened with Damien cheating, I knew Rob would, and I didn’t want him thinking Damien had come between us again. Carefully, I began to explain. I told him about the things we’d said to each other, how Damien had tried to push for more, and he listened quietly, avoiding eye contact.

When it seemed like he wasn’t reacting, I hesitated, then continued, admitting the part I hated the most, the twink at the party, and how I had stupidly let him blow me.

He pursed his lips, his expression tight with disapproval.

“So… Damien got you so worked up that you had to go find another guy to get off?”

His voice carried a mix of disappointment and disbelief.

 I let out an anxious huff.

“No, it wasn’t like that… I don’t know, I was drunk!”

“You were drunk?” he asked, eyebrows raised, sceptical.

“Yeah, I was! I may have a pretty high tolerance, but I drank way more than usual.”

His brows furrowed.

“Don’t steal my line, that’s my excuse.”

I shrugged slightly, letting a small smirk slip through.

“Yeah, I guess I thought I should give it a try,” I said sarcastically.

He drew a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “You know what… I can’t - ” He cut himself off and started walking toward the terrace door.

“Where are you going?” I called after him, watching him leave. “We’re in the middle of an argument here!”

“Yeah, well, I need a fucking break from it,” he said, his frustration clear in every word.
Without another glance, he opened the terrace door and stepped outside.

I stood there for a few seconds, completely motionless. I tried to breathe and calm myself down, then finally plopped myself down on the couch. I rested my head against the cushion and let my emotions take over. I didn’t feel like crying anymore, but I felt hurt, confused, sad, and worried all at the same time.

I thought about everything that had been said. I’d known we were going to argue. I hated it, but we had to say the things we’d been avoiding. We had to be honest about our doubts and our fears. I didn’t want us to keep pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t.

I didn’t want us to keep questioning the strength of our bond, because I didn’t question it anymore, and I never wanted him to question my love for him.

Our problems weren’t insurmountable, and I wanted to put them behind us. I didn’t want him to ever feel unsure about how much I loved him. I knew we belonged together. I knew him better than I knew anyone else. I had always felt a passion for him that few people experience. We were two halves of a whole.

The thought of us breaking up was unbearable. I couldn’t imagine a life without him. I believed in moving forward, and I only wanted to move forward with him. I loved him -deeply, completely - and I had never been more certain of that. I truly believed that all we needed was to talk more, listen better, and remind each other that our feelings for each other hadn’t changed.

We had somehow made our love last from adolescence into adulthood. The band had probably helped keep us together as we changed, grew, and found ourselves, but that wasn’t the real reason we were still here ten years later.

After being together this long, it felt like we were standing in front of a choice: either we walked away from everything, or we took the next step and really made it work for the long term. For me, there was only one option.

After a long moment, I figured we’d both had enough time to cool off and sort things out in our heads, so I stepped outside to join him. The night air was chilly against my bare chest, but I barely noticed. He turned and leaned back against the balcony railing. I could tell he wasn’t angry anymore, he was ready to talk again, so I moved closer.

We didn’t say a word. Our eyes spoke for us. We wrapped our arms around each other, and a familiar flutter returned to my chest. I pressed my lips to the skin just below his ear, letting a few soft, lingering kisses fall there.

“I love you,” I murmured. “I’m so sorry.”

He exhaled softly and pulled me closer. “I know. I’m sorry too.”

“I don’t want us to keep hurting each other. I love you so much,” I said, kissing his skin again. “If anything, all Damien managed to do was make me even more sure of that. I don’t want to be with him. I don’t care about him. He can try as hard as he wants,”

I pulled back to look into his eyes, my hand sliding to the back of his head.

“He’s not you,” I said gently. “He might think he’s in love with me, but he’ll never love me the way you do.”

I pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“And I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t love you as much as you love me… because I do. Every time I think about you, I’m overwhelmed by how much I love you. That was never the issue.”

He nodded, his breath warm against my mouth.

“Babe, I know how much you love me, but…” He hesitated, then met my eyes. “Sometimes I think about the fact that I was the one who started everything between us.”

His voice softened.

“I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be without you. But I need you to be honest with me about what you want and how you really feel. Because I can’t even imagine being with anyone else, and I need to know you feel the same. I can’t bear the thought that you’re staying with me for the wrong reason.”

I frowned slightly, unable to pull my eyes away from his.

“You didn’t start everything between us…”

He looked confused.

“You didn’t,” I said firmly. “I did.”

My hand slid from his face down to his arm.

“I just wasn’t brave enough to say it out loud, so I let you take the lead. But you didn’t push me into anything. I wanted you. I wanted to have sex with you, I was just too scared to ask for it.”

A small smile curved his lips.

“I didn’t know what it meant at first. I didn’t know if it meant I was gay, and yeah, I didn’t want to admit it to myself right away. But I kept coming back. And it didn’t take long for me to realize you were the only one I wanted. You were all I could think about.”

I smiled softly.

“I didn’t stay with you just because you were in love with me, or because it made you happy, or because it was fun and exciting, or because you gave me incredible blowjobs,” I added with a quiet laugh.

He relaxed and laughed with me, and I went on.

“I knew I loved you. I had no idea where it would take us, but I was willing to question everything in my life for you. I wanted you just as much as you wanted me. And I still do.”

I wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed him softly before looking into his eyes again.

“Even more than I did back then. And everything that’s happened since, I wouldn’t want it any other way. But I would still love you just the same even if none of it had happened. I swear to you, the band isn’t what holds us together. I’m not going to pretend I don’t want to protect it, that’d be a lie. I mean, it’s an incredible job, and we’re fucking good at it. But I promise, it’s never been about choosing the band over you. The band’s always been part of us, part of our lives, part of our love, so…”

I stopped and let out a slow sigh, feeling the need to apologize. “Babe, I’m so sorry if I’ve put too much pressure on you…”

“No,” he said immediately, shaking his head. “No, you didn’t. I like that you challenge me. You make me want to be the best version of myself. I don’t expect anything less from you.”

I smiled and brushed my thumb gently over his cheek.

“You can do amazing things, Rob. You’re so special,” I said softly. “But if you ever decide you want to stop, I’ll be okay with that. I just want us to be happy. And if that means slowing things down, or even walking away from the band one day, then we will. None of that matters as much as you do. I’d give up everything for you.”

He cupped my face in his hands, his thumb brushing gently over my cheek.

“You don’t have to give up anything,” he murmured. “I don’t need you to sacrifice yourself for me. Just… stay with me. Be here, with me. That’s enough.”

I smiled, my eyes stinging.
“That’s enough for me too. I mean it when I say you come first. Always.”

He pulled me into his arms, and I buried my face against his neck, breathing him in and tightening my grip.

“I love you,” I whispered, my voice shaking with everything I was feeling. “I love you more than anyone else on this fucking earth.”

His grip didn’t loosen, and I felt the warmth and intensity of him holding me.

“Oh god,” he said with a mix of passion and desperation, “fucking marry me already!”

It only took me a second or two to register what he’d just said, and what it meant for our future. I pulled back to look at him.

“Wow,” I laughed deeply. “This third marriage proposal might just be the most romantic one yet.” I tilted my head, smiling playfully. “I mean… I might just say yes.”

He gave a giggle and narrowed his brows.

“Do it,” he pleaded. “Say yes. Quit torturing me,” he added with a grin.

I held his gaze for a moment, wanting nothing more than to say yes and make him happy. He flashed me a cheeky smile.

“I promise, we’ll make it fun.”

I shrugged and pursed my lips, pretending to think.

“Come on,” he insisted. “You know I’m gonna absolutely slay this, right?”

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

“Okay,” I said simply.

He froze.

“Okay?” he repeated.

“Yes,” I nodded.

His face lit up. “Are you saying yes?”

“I’m saying yes,” I confirmed with a warm smile, hardly believing it myself, but knowing I wanted to pledge myself to him forever, and if this was the way he needed me to do it, then so be it.

He let out a satisfied chuckle, almost speechless, and smiled broadly as he stared at me. I lost myself in his beautiful, happy, slightly misty eyes before wrapping my arms around him. We held each other for a long, intense moment. Neither of us said a word, it felt like there was nothing more that needed to be said.

He kissed my shoulder lightly and I whispered,

“Just don’t invite my mother.”

He let out a soft chuckle, the kind that sounded like laughing and crying at the same time.

“No, I’ll just send her the most scandalous pictures instead,” he murmured devilishly into my ear.

“You really don’t want her to like me,” I teased.

“I’m just saying,” he went on, amused, “if she’s still naive enough to hope you’re not sleeping with me or that you’re somehow still with Rachel, then we really need to make it official.”

“I guess we do,” I said with a smile.

Slowly, we broke the hug and looked deep into each other’s eyes. Our smiles faded. I took his face between my hands and he pressed one hand on the back of my head to draw me closer to him. His other hand was on the small of my back. He applied pressure and pushed our crotches together. Our noses brushed, my lips just a breath away from his. When our mouths came together and we began kissing, I realized that I had been wrong before… This was the best kiss we had ever shared. It was tender, intimate, passionate and forgiving and it felt like a new beginning.

As we kissed, I thought that I had to accept the fact that being in love with him would not always be easy, given the pressures of our job, the fame, the public scrutiny and the fact that he was relentlessly hounded by fans, journalists and all kind of people in the industry.

We both knew we’d have to work on our relationship more than we had in the past to grow stronger as a couple, and that it wouldn’t always be easy… but if love were easy, it wouldn’t be so rare, so worth fighing for. Loving him was often painful and confounding and exhausting and frustrating, but also so overwhelmingly awesome.

It felt like we had only kissed for a brief moment when I felt him gently pull back, holding me by the biceps. I tried to close the distance again, to bring his lips to mine, but he resisted. His eyes locked onto mine, intense and bright, sending a shiver down my spine.

He wasn’t letting go, and he wasn’t saying anything.

“What?” I asked, my voice tinged with need.

His lips curved into a small, almost shy smile as he continued to stare at me.

“Nothing,” he finally murmured, still holding my arms, his breathing growing heavier.

For a moment, it felt like we could stay like this forever. Then he whispered, almost breathlessly, “I just love you so damn much.”

I smiled and leaned in to brush my lips lightly against his.

He let out a soft sigh, his eyes flicking down for a moment before returning to mine.

“I know what it feels like to lose you,” he admitted, shaking his head. “And I don’t want to ever feel like that again.”

“You won’t,” I said firmly. “I promise.”

He let go of my arms, his hand sliding slowly along my torso, tracing the lines of my abs, the sharp ridge of my chest.

“I don’t know why,” he said seriously, “but I’ve always loved you so much that sometimes it scared me… that it wouldn’t last.”

“You mean… like it’s too good to be true? Like a parallel universe ?” I teased.

He laughed softly and nodded. “Exactly. Like any second it could all just disappear.”

“I get that,” I admitted. “You know, I’ve felt the same way many times, that irrational fear that it won’t last, that one day it could just… be over.”

He held my gaze steadily. “But right now, it feels more real than ever.”

I let out a small laugh, resting my forehead against his.

“I guess we can both stop worrying about losing each other,” I whispered and hugged him tightly.

Before I knew it, he pulled back just enough to brush his nose against my ear and then my cheek before crushing his lips against mine. He pushed his tongue between my teeth and pushed me up against the large terrace table. I realized instantly that we were going to have mind-blowing sex again. My cock was already hardening as I felt him lift me up onto the table with a moan.

While still kissing me, his hands caressed my chest. He paused for a second as his hand made its way to the back of my neck and then launched an oral assault on my neck, licking and sucking. I tilted my head back to enjoy his kisses and then placed my hands on his shoulders and eased him down a bit. He trailed his tongue down my chest and found my left nipple and licked and nipped at it with his teeth. I groaned with pleasure as I held myself up by putting my hands behind me on the table. He moved to the other nipple then stuck out his tongue and licked down the trail of fine hair that led to my navel. I let him take control again and was more than happy to wait until he decided that he wanted me to take control too.

When he got down to my joggers, he grabbed me by the ass and pulled me off the table.

We kissed again and only a few seconds later, we had stumbled back into the room, my lips never parting from his.

He slid his hand down my back and into my joggers until he had both his hands on my butt cheeks. He squeezed and caressed my ass as we stepped closer to the couch. I wrapped my arms around him and we continued kissing passionately until he pushed me down onto my back on the couch and yanked my joggers off, leaving me completely naked. Then he took off what he was wearing. Straddling me, his lips found my neck again and I tilted my head back with a moan as the feel of his lips on my skin made me tremble. I let out a soft sigh as his kisses became quicker and harder. My hands moved from the sides of his face, down his back, eternally exhilarated by the feel of his tight and smooth skin.  

Then he bit lightly at my lower lip, then actually bit a little harder, causing me to make a noise. I responded by lunging forward with my head, attacking his mouth. I could hear his breath quickening, and I could feel it against my face

 “I want you so much,” he said.

 “I want you more,” I said, nipping at him, feeling how intense our feelings for each other were.

He started to slide down my body again, his hands roaming all over me, his lips and tongue following his hands. He sucked, licked and bit at my nipples eliciting soft cries of pleasure from me. Then he pushed my arms out and bringing his face into my armpit, he kissed my skin, inhaling my scent.

“Oh Rob,” I sighed, rocking my hips against his crotch.  

He slid back down me, making sure to leave no part of me dry. He moved with the singular purpose of pleasuring me. I closed my eyes and began to feel his nose moving through my trimmed pubes. His hands lightly tickled my scrotum, causing it to firm up. His tongue started to slide back and forth on my cock before I felt my entire shaft sinking into his mouth.

I concentrated on the sound of his breath, so heated, so full of energy. I raised my hands over my head, giving myself over to the pleasure and I wondered for a second if I’d ever be on top again.

 After a moment, he pulled off and used his tongue to bath my balls in his mouth. Then he licked his way up my shaft and his lips returned to the tip of my cock. He dove back down, sucking my shaft deeper and deeper into his mouth as he tugged on my balls. It felt like he was sucking me for hours. Precum must have escaped my slit, which he began to tongue. I didn’t want him to stop but I was beginning to wonder how much longer I could hold out. He must have noticed because he began to spread my legs and move them more toward me.

Suddenly his tongue pressed against my naturally smooth hole, and my eyes shot open, but only for a moment as I sighed in delight. My knees bent toward my chest, his hands on the underside of my thighs, his tongue began to explore my ass again. At first, he licked up and down, then side to side before beginning a circular motion, concentrating on the wrinkly ridges of my hole. As always, his tongue was firm and precise and I was loving it.

He was breathing out of his nose as his tongue began to push further inside me.

“Oh yeah,” I cried, feeling like I would die happy if this was to be my last memory.

I felt his hands slide down to the corners of his mouth, and then his fingers lightly began to spread my hole open, allowing him to move in deeper with his tongue.  

“God, this feels so good,” I moaned, pressing the back of my head into the cushion.

His tongue continued and began to periodically be joined by one or more of his fingers. My hole felt like it was on fire, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to get fucked again so soon but I was so aroused that what he was doing still felt really good.

“Be right back, don’t move, stay right here!” he ordered.

He came back with the bottle of lube. He poured some in the palm of his hand and smeared it all over my dick.

I looked at him mildly surprised.

“You didn’t think I was going to fuck you again, did you?” he teased.

I shrugged as I sat up,

“I wouldn’t have minded. But yeah, alright, this is good too,” I said.

He chuckled and straddled my lap. I realised that he wanted to ride me and that he wasn’t going to wait any longer but I wanted to play with his ass like he had played with mine and give it a good rimming.

I tried to push him down or flip him over but he grinned at me and forced me to stay still in a sitting position on the couch.

His hands held me close, keeping me pressed against him as he shifted slightly, careful and deliberate. One hand traced the curve of my shoulder and chest, the other resting firmly on my arm. Every movement, every touch, sent sparks through me. He pressed his lips to mine again, deep and unhurried.

“Come on, baby,” he said seductively. “I need to feel you deep inside me again.”

“You’re sure that’s what you want?” I asked, teasingly.    

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure,” he breathed, a note of desperation in his voice.

“And you’re not gonna let me play with that ass?” I said, rubbing his ass cheeks.

“I’m not, I just want  to ride your dick,” he sighed, “C’mon, let me ride you,” he begged seductively, which just made me want him even more.

He pressed his lips on mine and kissed me deeply for a few seconds, his strong hands on my body still forcing me to stay still.

My hands grasped his strong thighs, pulling at the short hairs on them. I urged him to get up on his knees so that I could at least give his cock the attention it deserved. He did and his cock rubbed up against my chest. I placed my hands on his ass and propelled him up a bit further so that I could wrap my lips around his gorgeous cock.  

“Fuck,” he gasped when my tongue began playing with his balls.

Soon he was holding himself up by placing his hands on the back of the couch. When I first made contact with his cock, I began licking my way up and down its length, stopping on spots I knew would make him whimper. He began slowly fucking my face, moaning about how great it felt.  

“Oh yeah, suck my dick, I love how your mouth feels,” he sighed with pleasure.

I had just made the decision that this is what I would be doing with the rest of my life when he quickly withdrew his penis and sat back down on my thighs. He kissed me for a while, his hands on the side of my face then reached down and wrapped his hand around my pole, stroking it softly. With his other hand he reached over and grabbed the lube again.

I grinned. “You really can’t wait, can you?”

“I’ve waited for over two fucking months,” he replied with desperation.

“Ouch,” I said.

He poured the lube into his hand again and then all over my cock and began stroking it.  When he had finished, he reached the same hand behind him and applied some lube to his hole. He moaned at his own touch, which of course made me want to explode. He then raised himself up, kneeled closer to me, held my cock, and started lowering himself onto me, slowly adjusting to my size.

 “Oh God, Rob, I love you so much!” I groaned.

I felt my cockhead slide in and listened to his moans as he lowered himself down, inch by inch. His eyes were closed, but mine were wide open. I watched my cock from behind his balls slide in and out of him as he began to raise himself up and down. He grabbed my shoulder and I pulled his tight ass cheeks apart.

“Oh baby, you feel so tight, it’s so good,” I panted, feeling my cock slide deep into him.

He smiled and began to move up and down again. I helped him with my hands behind his thighs. I moved my hips and fucked his hole and he stayed still and let me do the work. I knew I was hitting the right spot from his moans.

“Oh, oh, fuck, aw shit, you feel so good,” he panted

As he was saying this, he began moving and taking control again, slowly at first but then he was going fast sooner than I had expected, fully enjoying having me inside him and savouring the sensations running through his body. He dick was rock fucking hard and drippin pre-cum on my skin.

As he opened his eyes and looked at me, a look of contentment spread over his face. I wrapped both my hands around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. We made out intensely and then my hands were all over his chest, his thighs and his ass.

He continued riding me for a moment and I just stared at him, every inch of him, enjoying every second of it. He looked gorgeous and I was completely comfortable and happy watching him, simply because it just felt so good to be able to give him that unique pleasure again, to see him give himself into the feelings as my manhood pushed against his prostate. I could tell from the focused look on his face that he was getting close and we groaned simultaneously as I began moving my hips again, making him shudder with pleasure.

“Ohh,” he moaned.

 His eyes fluttered and I immediately wrapped my fist around his hard member. I felt him take control again, his ballsack slapping against skin as he moved up and down. I jerked him off just the way he liked it and he threw his head back.

"Ohh, yeah," he whimpered. “I, I, I'm, omigod...”

“You gonna cum?” I asked sensually.

“Ohhh, jesus,” was his answer. I pulled him toward me and embraced him tight, my hands pressed against his firm, smooth back, his head cradled in my neck and he started shooting ropes of cum onto my chest. His third orgasm of the night was still long and intense. The jerking movements he had started making tightened his ass around my cock, which almost sent me over the edge. I tried to hold off blowing my load as he remained quivering, fully finishing his orgasm. Leaving me inside him, he kissed me deeply, placing his hands on either side of my face.

Then I grabbed him firmly and began lying him down on the couch. My cock slipped out of him, but as he lay on his back on the couch, I leaned over him and opened his legs. He drew his legs up further so that my cock pushed up against his hole again and I positioned myself by his opening and plunged back in immediately.

“Oh, fuck,” he cried, his eyes closing.  “I can’t believe how good you feel. God, I love you.”

I began rocking my hips, supporting my weight with my hands on the couch.

“I love you too,” I responded, thrusting inside him.

 He pulled my face toward his and we made out. Then I moved faster, feeling my balls tightening and drawing closer to my body. I was determined to last for as long as he needed me to, and it seemed as though he was ready to go for the rest of the night.

I continued fucking him and watching him at the same time. I loved watching his face when he was being fucked. I loved watching his body move, always in rhythm, always a bit like a dance. I loved watching the sweat move down his body, his nipples hardening.

“Let me turn around,” he said after a moment, lightly pushing me away from him. My cock slid out of him again and he flipped over, lifting his ass up in the air. I placed my hands on his ass, pulling his cheeks apart, exposing his hidden treasure, open and moist. My cock popped back inside him and I laid my chest on over his back, my arms on either side of him.

He began meeting my thrusts with his own, quickly working himself into a frenzy of passion.

“Oohh, feels so good,” he panted. “Fuck me, baby. Fill me with your cock.”

We moved faster and faster and I knew my climax was just around the corner. I asked him if he wanted me to jerk him off, because with the pace he was going, I was pretty sure he would be able to cum again.

“No,” he answered. “I just wanna concentrate on your dick,” he panted and pushed his ass harder against me.

I continued pleasuring his ass, moaning, breathing, kissing and sucking his neck and caressing the small of his back or his ass.

“Do you like that?” I asked, wanting to hear him talking dirty.

“Yeah, I love it.”

“You love being fucked, don’t you?’

“I love it when you fuck me,” he whimpered.

“No one but me will ever fuck you,” I moaned, pumping inside him, at this point trying to hold back from cumming.

“Oh God, no,” he said and expelled a long, satisfied sigh as he turned his head to kiss me.

My lips connected with his and I gave him small thrusts, about half of my cock withdrawing from him each time as I began to approach my orgasm.

 “Oh god,” I moaned a few minutes later. “I can feel it coming, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, cum inside me, cum inside my ass,” he ordered.

I let out a groan. "Oh, babe, here I, oh, oh, OHHHH!"  

I exploded high inside him. Despite the fact that I had already cum twice, the pleasure of fucking him again made me spurt jet after jet of cum inside him, his hole feeling a bit like a vice, milking every last drop out of me.  

"Oh yeah, oh yeah," he moaned as I finished my orgasm.

I collapsed on top of him, my cock still inside him. We were both thoroughly exhausted.  Thoroughly elated. Neither of us could speak. There was no need to say anything. We were just as we had always been, happy to just be together. I always felt calmer when I was with him and this time was no exception. I knew he felt the same, calmer and content.

“Let’s shower and go to bed,” I said after a while. “You’ve thoroughly exhausted me.”

He let out a laugh and we slowly made our way to the bathroom and then went to bed, sleep rapidly encroaching upon us.

----------

I woke up a few hours later feeling completely rested. I had no idea what time it was, but once again, I was alone in bed.

The bedroom door was open, so I called out playfully,
“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I’m just ordering breakfast,” he yelled back a few seconds later. “You made me skip dinner last night. I’m fuckin’ starving.”

“Get your sexy ass back in bed,” I called.

“What do you want for breakfast?”

“Your dick!” I shouted.

A couple of minutes later, he walked back into the bedroom and climbed into bed with me, completely naked, just like when we’d fallen asleep.

“Breakfast is served,” he joked.

I snuggled closer to him.

“That’s better,” I said.

He grinned as he felt my erection pressing up against him.

I began to kiss his lips, feeling his tongue wrap around mine. His hands grasped my smooth shoulders and pulled me closer to him. We made out for a long moment and just enjoyed the fact that we could wake up together again and have morning sex, which we loved.

Eventually I pulled away from him, placing his arms by his sides.

“Mmmh, it’s so good to wake up with you again,” he sighed.

“You’re damn right, it is,” I smiled.

He closed his eyes and I began to place kisses all over his body, and I could tell that he loved not knowing where or when they would come, so he kept his eyes closed. I kissed his neck, then his nipples. Then his stomach, then the tops of his legs. I was moving all over, kissing his feet, then quickly moving to kiss his biceps and shoulders. His cock was rock hard the entire time, and he continually gasped and moaned, occasionally opening his eyes to see what part of me he was feeling brushing across his skin.

I tucked my knees under his arms and lowered my body ever so slightly, until my balls lightly touched his lips. His mouth immediately opened, and he sucked in one of them, groaning, and rolling his tongue. I shifted and brought him the other one, bringing forth a sigh of my own. I withdrew once again, leaning over him, letting my cock brush up against his face. He turned his head and opened his eyes again to find the head and bring it into his mouth. I gave him what he wanted and he sucked hungrily at my cock, his tongue working its familiar magic.

“Mmm, mmm,” he moaned.

Once I started realizing that I could cum at any second, I pulled my cock out of his mouth, and moved down the bed until I was greeted by his own hard member. I kissed his cock all over, nuzzling my face in between his legs before finally starting to go down on him.  

“Oh yeah,” he sighed, thrusting his hips forward, with each stroke I tried to move lower, eventually deep-throating him a few times, his hand on the back of my head.

Realizing that I was getting hungry, and that breakfast didn’t sound so bad, I continued sucking, taking him down to the base, feeling his trimmed pubes against my lips, knowing he’d soon feed me his cum.

“Ugh, ugh!” he cried, releasing his load in my mouth.

He tasted incredibly sweet and he came more than I thought he would, forcing me to work to swallow it all. He was panting and whimpering and after taking all he had to offer, I crawled back up him, crushing my lips against his, letting him get a small taste of himself. He kissed me hungrily, and he reached down to grab my cock, sticking it in between his chest and hand. I began to hump myself against his stomach, quickly crying out and cumming all over him, my cum sealing us together.

I lowered myself onto him completely, resting my head in the crook of his neck. We stayed in this position until we heard a knock on the door.

I raised my head and asked, “So, what did you order for breakfast?”

“Everything you like, baby, starting with my cum,” he laughed.

He disentangled himself from me, slipped something on, and left the bedroom.

I got up too and checked my phone. There was a message from Jordan in our WhatsApp group chat,

“You guys ok? Had sex and made up?”

Damon had answered,

“Quit meddling dude!”

“What! I just wanna know if I’m out of a job. I don’t have a backup plan,” Jordan had answered.

They’d gone back and forth for ages, joking about what would happen to them if we didn’t get back together. I started laughing as I read through it and asked Rob if I should reply. He began reading their conversation as well and said,

“Nah, let them fret about it!”

My eyebrows furrowed. “That’s not cool. I mean come on, Jordan's already considering joining the military!" I said jokingly.

He laughed.

"I might call Rachel later. Did you have anything planned today?”

“Yeah, I did, but I cancelled. I do have to see the vocal coach though. But only for like an hour this afternoon.”

“That’s fine, I’ll wait for you here,” I said as I began typing and reassured them that we were ok; I told Rachel that I’d call her in the evening, which would be morning for them.

“You can hit the gym or the pool,” he suggested.

We ate breakfast together after that, not talking much, just enjoying being in the same space again.

After a few quiet minutes, he cleared his throat.

“So… not that I want to bring it up again,” he said awkwardly. “But about Sam. How do you feel about it now? Do you think you can…”

He paused, and I knew exactly what he was asking.

I reached across the table and gently shushed him.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Ugh. It was just a blowjob. I can live with that. I know it was stupid and it didn’t mean anything. I’m just glad you told Damien to go fuck himself.”

I chuckled. “Who’s Damien?”

That earned me a small smile, but then his expression softened and grew serious. He waited for me to say something.

“Babe,” I said quietly, “I understand why you let it happen. I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t hurt a little, but I get it. You were lonely. You were hurt. And you made a bad call.”

He nodded slowly.

“And if you need me to say it out loud,” I continued, “then yes. I forgive you. Of course I forgive you.”

His shoulders relaxed like he’d been holding his breath for hours.

“I’m so sorry,” he said again, his voice low and sincere. “I hate that I put something between us.”

“I know you are. So am I,” I admitted. “We both crossed lines. But I don’t want to keep score. I just want us to be okay again.”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “I hate the idea that I hurt you. I hate that I gave you a reason to doubt me.”

I shrugged softly. “We’re human. We messed up. What matters is what we do next.”

His eyes locked with mine. “I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m worth forgiving.”

I swallowed, suddenly emotional. “Careful. That sounded like a vow.”

He smirked. “Maybe I was practicing.”

We sat in silence for a moment.

Then he exhaled. “I know you probably don’t believe me, and maybe you’re right, but I really did let it happen because we’d joked about doing him together. I thought it somehow would make it less… bad. I wasn’t thinking.”

I cringed. “Yeah… I still can’t believe you did that without me,” I said, pretending to be offended.

He laughed. “Look, maybe we should talk about that.”

I nodded. “Yeah. We probably should.”

He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “I think… maybe we should stop having threesomes.”

I blinked. “Oh.”

“I mean,” he continued, “we’ve always been good at separating sex from love. It was fun. It was exciting. But lately it feels like the lines are getting blurry. And I don’t want anything that could put us at risk. It kinda feels like we’re getting too old for this. You know, been there, done that.”

I nodded slowly. “I get that. I loved that we could explore together without jealousy or drama. but if it starts making us think that it’s somewhat ok to cheat on each other, then yeah… maybe it’s time.”

“I only want you,” he said simply. “I don’t want to be the guy who keeps pushing boundaries just because he can. I want to be the guy you trust.”

I smiled. “So you’re saying we’re retiring from our wild years?”

He shrugged. “ Yeah maybe. It was fun, but we should probably leave that part of our sex life behind with our twenties,” he said and I smiled, feeling this irrepressible need to make a joke.

I grinned. “Oh, so we still have three years left.”

He frowned. “Are you serious?”

I laughed. “No?”

“You idiot,” he said, pushing my shoulder.

I leaned closer. “What ? You know I just like knowing I get to show you off. I still think it’s hot to watch my rockstar boyfriend make some guy’s fantasy come true, knowing he can never have you more than once and more than I’m willing to let him have, because I’m the only one you go to bed with.”

He listened, clearly enjoying the way I said it.

“Husband?” he said seriously.

I raised an eyebrow. “That was not part of the conversation.”

“Maybe it should be.”

I tilted my head. “Alright,” I said and started the sentence again, “I still think it’s hot to watch my husband make some guy’s fantasy…,” I paused, “Yeah, no, ok, that doesn’t sound right,” I said, shaking my head.

“No, it doesn’t,” he confirmed.

We laughed

“But if it does happen again, and we meet a guy we’d both like to have some fun with, then we’ll really have to discuss it beforehand and make sure we’re on the same wavelength. No stupid decisions.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I guess if one of us wants a threesome, then we should really ask ourselves why we want to do it and set clear boundaries.”

We grew quiet for a moment and I watched him. Then the image of him and Sam in some dark LA club crossed my mind and I let out a chuckle.

“I’m definitely going to stop joking about having a threesome with another gay celebrity,” I said sarcastically.

He looked at me and smirked.

“I still can’t believe you fucked him!” I said and began laughing a little, shaking my head.

He lowered his head shamefully. After a few seconds, he complained,

“Fuck, I knew you’d laugh about it.”

The tone of his voice as he said that made me laugh more,

“Was he good?” I asked after a few seconds.

“Oh, come on, don’t do that. It was dark and we were drunk…can we not talk about this, please?” he begged.

“This is gonna be awkward,” I said slowly, already imagining the inevitable encounter.

“Just pretend it didn’t happen. That’s my plan,” he responded.

 “In the club, Rob, seriously? Didn’t anybody see you?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t looking at anyone. If they did, then they didn’t give a damn.”

I shook my head.

“You’re lucky I didn’t find out about it from the media, I would have fucking killed you!”

“Yeah, that would’ve been bad,” he said, thinking about it, his eyes staring into space.

“Just a bad headline waiting to happen!” I said, looking at him judgmentally.

He chuckled,

“I learned my lesson.”

“Yeah? Are you saying that I can finally stop worrying about you?” I asked.

He gave a small shrug and after a few seconds, I asked, although I already thought I knew the answer.

“You were careful though, right?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “thanks to Claire,” he said with a sigh.

“Claire?”

“Yeah. She’s the one who dragged me to that party, and when it got too boring, she suggested we leave and go somewhere else. And once we got to the club and she saw how Sam was acting with me, she slipped a couple of condoms into my back pocket. I wouldn’t have fucked him if it weren’t for those. I probably would’ve done the same as you and just let him blow me.”

I stared at him. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

I gaped. “Oh, she is so fired.”

Rob laughed, shaking his head. “You know her. She didn’t mean anything by it. She thought she was being responsible.”

“Responsible?” I shot back. “That’s not responsible, that’s pre-packing you for bad decisions.”

He grinned. “It’s called harm reduction.”

“It’s called enabling,” I corrected. “And bitch, I am absolutely not sending you a thank-you card.”

Rob let out a short laugh. I asked him a few more questions about that evening, and he answered without hesitation. We ended up talking for a while about Sam, Claire, even Jimmy’s party, Damien, the guy he was with, the twink. He was curious about a few details too.

Then I went quiet for a moment, honestly, still turning over in my head what to do about Claire.

Rob must have noticed, because he picked up his phone and scrolled through it for a brief moment before standing up and clearing the table.

“How do you fancy going to this restaurant for dinner?” he asked when he came back, showing me the webpage of some gourmet place on his phone.

“Are you taking me out on a date?” I asked flirtatiously as I stood up.

“I sure am… future husband,” he grinned.

I smiled at the sound of that.

“Mmh, doesn’t sound so bad. I could probably get used to that,” I said.

“You’d better,” he replied, giving my ass a quick slap before wrapping his arms around my chest and kissing the side of my face.

------

We left the center the following week but stayed in the States for over a month after that. Rob wanted to stick around to shoot the carpool karaoke with James Corden that Claire had arranged. Even though he’d already told me everything about it, I still couldn’t wait to see it for myself.

After that, we drove to Las Vegas. We could have gotten married there, but we didn’t. Instead, we decided on something that still felt symbolic and deeply ours, matching finger tattoos, something small that would sit right beneath the bands we were already wearing.

We got a tiny star on our fingers. Then, on the inside of our wrists, we had the words from our song Yellow tattooed in musical notes, Look at the stars.

It felt like a promise carved into our skin.

Then we took a road trip through the canyons. It was a trip we’d already taken before with friends, but this time we wanted it to be just us. Not only because the American West was still fascinating and breathtakingly beautiful, but because we needed that time together.

It felt like it had been so long since we were really alone. Just the two of us. Days on end.

No fans. No friends. No press. No radio or TV people. No label. No manager. No security. No reporters. No paparazzi.

Just us.

During the trip, we started sharing pictures and videos on Instagram again, much to the fans’ delight.

Most of the time, we stuck to Instagram stories, quick, off-the-cuff moments of whatever we were doing: long empty roads, sunsets over the desert, bad motel coffee, laughter in the car. It felt easy. Natural. Like letting people peek into our little bubble without letting them all the way in.

Then one evening, Rob decided to go live.

“Hello, people…” he said, settling onto the sofa in our hotel room, his laptop balanced on the coffee table in front of him.

“Is anyone there?” he added, watching the screen as messages and questions began flooding in.

I stayed in the kitchenette at first, busy fixing us something to eat with the groceries we’d just bought. I’d wanted him to start the stream without me anyway, give the fans a minute with just him before I crashed the party.

After saying hello to all the fans who kept joining the live stream, he glanced over at me and laughed.

“I can’t believe there are already eighty-five thousand people watching me do absolutely nothing right now,” he said.

Who you talkin’ to? he read.

“Who d’you think I’m talkin’ to?” he replied with a wink at the camera.

“Alright, so yeah, we’re in the States at the moment,” he said, answering another question. “We’re lost in the middle of nowhere. Don’t try to find us,” he added.

Hey mate, are you coming back to Australia?

“Yes, absolutely. We love Australia. Australia’s awesome!”

“Hello Mexico, hello Sweden…” he continued, reading the comments as they flew by. “Hello Japan, oh my god, I love Japan. It’s like no other place in the world.”

Then he spent a long moment thanking people as compliments flooded in, shaking his head in disbelief.

Are you recording in L.A.?

“No, no, not recording right now. I mean, we have recorded some songs, but we just don’t think they’re good enough yet. So yeah, we’re gonna need a little more time. But don’t worry, I’m sure the wait will be worth it.”

He smiled at the screen.

“We’re taking a bit of a break because we need to live a little, you know? Find inspiration in everyday life. But we want you to know we’ll be back in the studio soon and we’ll put out an amazing album that we hope you’ll love. Probably sometime next year.”

The questions kept pouring in faster than he could read them. He tried to pick the ones he actually wanted to answer while I listened from the kitchen.

Then he paused.

Why did you postpone the release? he read aloud.

“Because… like I said? look, we don’t want to sound ungrateful for what we have, because we’re incredibly grateful. I think we’re the luckiest people in the world. But sometimes it all gets a bit overwhelming, and we just need more time. We don’t want to put out a record we’re not one hundred percent proud of.”

So are you saying the songs you already recorded will never see the light of day?

“Probably not, no. I mean, I don’t know for sure. But the thing is, we really need to be in a good headspace to write music, and I don’t think we were. So yeah, we need to be in a better place and really give it everything we’ve got. We want to challenge ourselves and feel proud of the record we’re putting out into the world.”

He paused, thinking.

“The songs we’ve recorded so far… we kind of played it safe. And I don’t feel passionate enough about them to enjoy singing them live, because I keep asking myself, ‘How the hell am I gonna sing this every night on tour?’ And if I’m already questioning that, then to me that just means they’re not good enough. So yeah, we need to do it again, if that makes any sense.”

He went quiet for a moment, scrolling through the comments.

‘Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself’, that is true,” he said, nodding at the screen.

Are you going to collaborate with other artists again?

“Yeah, we’d love to.”

Fans immediately started naming artists they’d love to see us work with, and he reacted to each suggestion, smiling and laughing, before finally concluding,

“There are so many people we’d love to write with, so yeah… it might happen with a few of them.”

Do you get nervous before you walk on stage? he read.

“Yes, of course I do. I get very nervous,” he admitted. “But I think nerves are important. They mean you care. They push me to practice more, to get better, and to make sure you all have the best show possible. Being famous comes with a lot of anxiety, and it’s easy to stress about everything and freak out for no reason, which I definitely did plenty of times on our last tour.”

He continued reading comments, laughing and responding casually, before pausing at another question.

Is it true that you and Mark broke up over the summer?

He looked at me and let out a soft laugh, trying to answer without giving too much away.

“Well… the media thinks we’ve split up all the time,” he said, shrugging. “Either me and Mark, or the whole band. And it’s never true. So don’t worry about us, we’re fine.”

He leaned closer to the camera, eyes twinkling, and added with a dramatic flourish, “But, you know, there’s drama in gay relationships… like you wouldn’t believe!” He rolled his eyes and laughed.

Comments started flooding in.

So glad to know you guys are okay. You make me believe in love. I knew you’d work through your issues.

“Aw, yeah, we’re good. Don’t worry. Honestly, we don’t know how to stay mad at each other,” he said, smiling. “But thank you all for the support and concern, you guys are the best.”

He paused to read another comment.

You’ve made an impact on all of our lives, in some way or another. It looks like you’re having so much fun—please never stop!

“No, we’re not planning on giving up,” he replied warmly. “We just want to enjoy the ride.”

He grinned, looking over at me. “And maybe let you all peek in a little while we do it.”

After reading a few more comments, he turned to me with a laugh and began reading aloud.

What do you say to people who think Shawn Mendes is a younger and straighter version of you?

“See!” I exclaimed, laughing. I had actually compared Shawn to him a few months back in an interview. There was just something about Shawn Mendes that reminded me of Rob back when we were nineteen and just starting out.

He chuckled, and the fans flooded the chat with laughing emojis and hearts.

“Who says that? I think you’re the one who started that comparison,” he said, smirking at me.

“I think I did, yeah!” I joked back.

He leaned closer to the camera. “Well, I’d say… yeah, he’s definitely younger. Definitely straighter, I think. And from what I see, probably a lot less dangerous to hang out with!”

“Definitely!” I said louder, laughing.

“That’s right! I am dangerous!” he said, in full-on Maverick mode, like Tom Cruise in Top Gun.

I eventually slid onto the sofa next to him so the fans could see me too. Almost instantly, the chat exploded, hundreds of messages: Hello!” “I love you! Comments about us as a couple, how good we looked, how happy we seemed, and how different we were since the fans hadn’t seen photos or videos of us in a while.

Rob glanced at me and smiled. “Looks like they approve of us being back together, huh?”

I laughed. “I think they’ve missed us a little.”

“Hey! Hello! Love you guys! I’m doing great, thank you,” I said, reading the messages as they scrolled in. Fans began sending me music-related questions, and I started answering them.

What kind of album are you going to make this time? I read aloud.

“Well,” I began, glancing at Rob and grinning, “like he said, we’ll probably start from scratch, so it’s hard to tell exactly. But we’ve always tried to write music that’s universal while still drawing from our own experiences. Since you all love trying to figure out what our lyrics really mean, I think you’ll be happy with this record.”

I caught Rob’s eye, and we shared a little smile, because we’d already started brainstorming ideas and lyrics that felt really exciting.

Can’t wait to hear the new songs live, I read next.

“Yeah,” I said, “and we can’t wait to play them for you and see your reactions… to see if we’ve done it again or not. We’re definitely trying to be genuine on this record, to put everything out there, everything that’s happened in our lives, every experience since the last album. Because, honestly, every new album is like a new chapter in our lives.”

I looked at Rob, and he nodded, his eyes sparkling. It felt good to say it out loud, to share the next chapter with each other, and with the fans who had been along for the ride.

Can you play a tune? I read.

“I would,” I said, “but I don’t have a guitar with me. Can you believe that?” I turned to Rob. “I don’t have a guitar with me!”

“Oh shit,” he laughed. “Are you gonna start experiencing withdrawal symptoms?”

“Who knows? I might,” I said. “I’ve never spent this long without a guitar.”

“I’ll buy you one,” he offered casually.

I gasped dramatically. “Oh, get me a Majesty Monarchy!” I pleaded with a grin. It was one of the best guitars in the world.

“You really don’t have a taste for luxury and perfection, baby,” he teased sarcastically, clearly thinking about the Ferrari I’d bought.

I laughed. “Which is why I’ve got you as a boyfriend. You’re perfect.”

“That is true. He’s not lying,” Rob announced to the webcam.

He started telling them about the Ferrari they had basically helped pay for.

Then I read another one.

Do you like driving?

“Does he like driving?” Rob repeated, looking straight into the camera. “He’s a control freak,” he said with a grin. “He needs to be in the driver’s seat with both hands firmly on the wheel.”

I stared at him until he finally met my eyes.

When he did, I smiled.

“I love you though,” he added quickly.

I laughed. “Good save.”

I let out a small chuckle, and he leaned closer to me. He pretended he was going to kiss me a couple of times, teasing, until I finally pecked his lips with a grin.

“I love this boy,” he said, squeezing my cheeks. “Isn’t he adorable?” he asked the fans.

We read a few more comments out loud and answered random questions for a while, until Rob suddenly smiled at me and read one aloud.

Are you guys ever gonna get married? You’re the best celebrity couple ever!

He’d been avoiding questions like that since the stream had started.

“Aw, I’m working on it,” he replied with a nod, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

The comment section exploded again.

We love you guys! Please stay together forever! I read.

“I think we’re doing pretty well so far,” Rob said, leaning into me.

“Yeah, like a fine wine, we’re only getting better,” I added, pressing a quick kiss to his temple.

You guys are goals! Rob read, chuckling. “Goals, huh?” he teased. “Guess we better not mess it up then.”

By that point, most of the messages were about us, our relationship, how long we’d been together, how we made it work. We answered a few more, laughed a lot, and then finally ended the stream.

We both sat back on the sofa, smiling.

It felt good to reconnect with the fans again. And even better to do it together.

----

Ten months later, we were in the studio, listening to the vocals Rob had just recorded. We had collaborated with the American rapper Big Sean on a song we called 'Miracles.'

The conversations we'd had with our respective dads had inspired us to write a song about them and the words of motivation they had whispered… or not… into our ears growing up, as well as the sound advice Rob had received from his dad during moments of self-doubt.

The song was about believing in yourself, about pushing through challenges and making it out there, no matter what life threw at you. The message was both bittersweet and uplifting, carried by a melody that was easy on the ears but emotionally resonant. It was the kind of track that made you feel something and want to sing along at the same time.

We listened to those lyrics and softly sang along to them,

My father said never give up son
Just look how good Cassius become
Mohammed, Mahatma, and Nelson
Not scared to be strong            
Now you could run and just say they're right
No I'll never be no one in my whole life
Or you could turn and see the way they're wrong
And get to keep on dancing all life long

“This is so fucking awesome, dude!” Jordan exclaimed, grabbing Rob by the shoulders and shaking him, practically vibrating with excitement. Then he slung an arm around him and planted a loud kiss on his cheek.

“See? This is why I’m glad we were dumb enough to do coke,” he added with a laugh.

Rob nodded, raising his eyebrows. “Yeah, totally. All so worth it,” he joked.

We laughed, the room buzzing with that rare, electric feeling you get when you know you’ve made something special. The track kept playing, and we kept singing along, riding the high of the moment and the music filling every corner of the studio.

In you I see
Someone special
You've got bright in your brains
You can break through those chains
You'll go higher than we've ever gone
Just turn it on
----
Don't go to war with yourself
Just turn, just turn, just turn it on
And you can't go wrong

When the song ended, Jordan turned to me.

“Oh my god, this is so good. I fucking love it. I might just suck your dick after this, Mark!” he announced, completely serious, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“What?!” I exclaimed.

Dylan, standing next to me, burst out laughing.

“Jord, keep joking like that and one of these days you’re actually gonna end up with a dick in your mouth.”

“And there’s no coming back from that,” I added, and Rob smirked at me.

“Yeah, I highly doubt it,” Jordan laughed.

The room was buzzing. We jumped straight back into editing, replaying parts of the track, tweaking tiny details, completely pumped, not just about Miracles, but about all the songs we’d written and recorded.

There were a few more we couldn’t wait to put out into the world.

Including a song with Beyonc.

After being dragged out to what felt like a million parties, Rob had decided it was finally time to write a song about it, and somehow, that one had turned into something special too.

He wanted to write a feel-good song. Something warm and effortless. A song you could dance to in your living room instead of going out. A song you could sway to while cooking dinner, stealing kisses in the kitchen, laughing with a glass of wine in your hand.

Something that felt like a weekend without plans. Or a song you’d put on when you don’t want to think and just want to feel good.

We called it ‘Hymn for the Weekend.’

Oh, angel sent from up above
You know you make my world light up
When I was down, when I was hurt
You came to lift me up
Life is a drink and love's a drug
Oh, now I think I must be miles up
When I was a river dried up
You came to rain a flood
Ah-oh-ah-oh-ah
Got me feeling drunk and high
So high, so high
-----

As we were editing it one day, Rob turned to me with a grin.

“You know what would really help this song?”

I watched him for a second, then smiled broadly.

“Beyonce?”

We burst out laughing at the same time, delighted that we’d both been thinking it.

“Beyonce!” he exclaimed, suddenly full of confidence, eyes sparkling with that infectious enthusiasm that made it impossible not to get carried away with him.

The room instantly lit up.

For a few seconds, we all just stared at each other, half in disbelief, half already imagining it.

We tried to calm ourselves down, reminding each other how insane it sounded to even consider asking her. But after having already recorded with Rihanna, nothing really felt impossible anymore.

“Okay,” Jordan said finally, rubbing his hands together. “This is either the best idea we’ve ever had… or the most delusional.”

“Why not both?” Rob replied with a grin.

And just like that, the idea took root.

So we finally worked up the courage to ask her what she thought of the song.

We sent it over, keeping the message simple. We said we wanted a female voice on it. We didn’t say we wanted her on it, we didn’t want to scare her off.

Then we waited.

A few days went by with no answer. Her management told us she needed time to sit with it, to really listen and decide how she felt about it.

We tried not to get our hopes up.

And then she said yes.

She recorded her vocals, sent them back to us, and when we dropped her voice into the track, the song instantly transformed. It lifted. It sparkled. It became something else entirely.

Boom.

One more impossible dream checked off the list.

We were beyond stoked. The song felt huge. Special. The kind of track you just know is meant to be heard.

We couldn’t wait for it to be the first single.

After that, we decided that this fourth album should be a collaborative one. It felt right to open our world to other artists and let different energies shape the record. So we did a few more collaborations, including one with The Chainsmokers on a song we called 'Something Just Like This.'

The song carried a deep emotional meaning. It was about Greek gods and modern heroes, about legends and icons, and about the realization that you don’t need to be a superhero in real life, as long as you’re one in the eyes of the person you love.

Then there was everything Rob had worked through in rehab.

All the fear, the healing, the self-discovery, the rebuilding.

We poured all of that into a song we called 'Adventure of a Lifetime.' It felt important to write about what he had been through, not just for us, but for anyone who might be struggling. We wanted it to be a song that could lift people up, remind them that life is still beautiful, that joy still exists, even after darkness.

It went like this,

Turn your magic on, to me she'd say
Everything you want's a dream away
Under this pressure, under this weight
We are diamonds taking shape

Said I can't go on, not in this way
I'm a dream, I die by light of day
Gonna hold up half the sky and say
Only I own me

I feel my heart beating
I feel my heart beneath my skin
I feel my heart beating
Oh, you make me feel
Like I'm alive again

If we've only got this life
And this adventure,
oh then I wanna share it with you
…

There were many feel-good songs on the album. It became a record about happiness, about being honest and truthful with our music, and with ourselves. Once we finished recording, we threw ourselves into building the live shows and imagining what we wanted them to look like.

Mind-blowing.

We knew the next tour was going to be something special, and we could hardly wait. Our minds were bubbling with ideas again, from what the stage would look like to how we wanted the audience to feel. Like we had done on our previous stadium tour, we planned to use fireworks and confetti once more, turning every night into an explosion of sound, light, and color.

We had also found a way to make the show evolve even further, every member of the audience would wear a wristband, turning the entire stadium into a living, breathing light show. We wanted to synchronize the flashing of the bands to the music, so the crowd itself would become part of the performance.

We had always loved involving the fans, making them sing along, talking to them, feeling their energy. For us, interaction was the most important part of any show. And now we wanted everyone to feel truly included, wearing a small light on their wrist, glowing with us, hopefully walking away from the night feeling connected, uplifted, and happy.

It was an expensive gamble, and we weren’t even sure all the wristbands would work properly, so we decided to test the idea during an arena show first.

We couldn’t wait to see the entire place light up.

We had even written a song especially for our stadium shows.

We called it 'A Sky Full of Stars.'

The album was set to be released in October 2018, and we were about to drop the first single in September. After recording an interview for a TV channel and performing the song on set, we all went out to dinner together. The next day, we were due to publicly announce the tour dates.

For the first fifteen minutes, we sat in the restaurant, totally aware that everyone was staring at us because as a five-piece band, we could never go unnoticed and there were always a few people who knew who we were.

Tom handed us the final tour schedule we had discussed with the label earlier during the week. We were to play a few arena shows in December but the real tour was to kick off in Singapore in March 2019 and end in December in Australia, which meant ten months of touring the world.

“Alright, chaps! If there’s anything that needs to be changed, say it now,” Tom said, looking around the table.

We all studied the schedule in silence for a moment.

“Why do we have so many days off after the New York gigs?” Damon asked.

“That’s in case we need to add a date or two,” Tom explained. “Don’t get your hopes up, we’ll most likely have to. But even if we do, you’ll still have a couple of days off.” Damon nodded.

“Still want to tie the knot in Australia?” Damon asked Dylan after a moment, eyes scanning the schedule.

“Yeah, she’s dead set on it,” Dylan replied, having proposed to his girlfriend a while back.

“That’s cool. We have a whole week there before we fly to New Zealand,” Damon said.

“Actually… might be New Zealand…” Dylan said with a laugh, shrugging his shoulders.

Damon frowned. “You know, a woman’s will is God’s will!” Dylan joked, feigning defeat.

“Damn, I hope she doesn’t give Rachel any ideas,” Damon chuckled.

“I wouldn’t bet on that,” Dylan replied.

I smirked at Rob as we listened to their banter. It felt like we were at that age when everyone around you starts getting married. Invitations kept arriving in the mail, weddings on the calendar. Rob and I still had no concrete plans for ourselves, all we knew was we wanted to wait until after the tour. We’d both turn thirty in May 2020, and I knew Rob had always had that date in mind.

Our drinks arrived, and we thanked the waitress as she placed them on the table. Tom raised his glass in a toast.

“To new adventures,” he said cheerily.

We all clinked glasses and settled into what would turn out to be a wonderful evening, ending with impromptu piano performances in the dining room as people cheered us on.

That night, going to bed and spooning with the love of my life, I thought about how truly incredible the last ten years had been. I was beaming with joy, excitement, and happiness, knowing that the best was still to come, both personally and professionally.

The end of part 3.

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