Mike and Kyle Learn More About Walter and Ellis, and Themselves
I lay in my bed that night trying to understand all the day’s events. Does this mean that I am gay? What would Bug and Murph think if they found out? What about my parents? God, maybe I am overthinking all of this, maybe I was just getting some curiosity out of my system. My mind switched to the journal and to Walter and Ellis. What were they feeling? They not only had to deal with the gay aspect, but what about the whole racial issue. If their relationship came out, they risked a lot more than just pissing off their family and friends. I’m sure Walter’s father would beat him, and some of the bigots in this town would do the same to Ellis. I was hoping the journal would reveal some of those feelings. I finally drifted off to sleep.
I got up early the next morning, picked peas for mom to can, and weeded the garden. I finished a few other chores that dad had told me he wanted done and headed to the shed. Kyle was walking up the trail just as I was opening the door. We had agreed to only read the journal together from now on, so I was glad he was on time. I was very anxious to get to the next entry. We settled in next to each other and I opened the notebook.
***
June 5, 1922
I haven’t had time to write for a few days; I had to paint Mrs. Bigalow’s garage and was clearing some brush for old man Willers. I was still trying to save up enough money to get out of this hell hole. Pa was still trying to get me a job at that damn mill. I already had a bag packed in case he was successful, so I was ready to leave as soon as he passed out. I missed Ellis, it had been a week since we had been together. After I finished at old man Willers’s place, I walked to the pond, no one was there. I sat on a rock and waited for a while, thinking the entire time about Ellis’s naked body.
I heard someone walking up the path and smiled when I saw it was Ellis.
He said, “Sorry I haven’t been here in a few days, my folks had me busy doing chores around the house.”
I smiled, “That’s ok, I’ve been busy too. I’ve been doing odd jobs for folks in the area, trying to save up some money to get out of here.”
Ellis gave me a worried look and asked, “Where are you going to go?”
I shrugged, “I don’t know for sure; I just got to get away from my old man. He’s trying to get me a job at that damn mill.”
He looked at me, wanting me to continue. I explained about pa being a bastard and how it’s only gotten worse since ma is gone.
Ellis gave me another worried look and asked, “What are you going to do? How are you going to find a job?”
I shrugged, “I don’t know, I just know I need to leave as soon as he tells me he got me a job. I’ve been doing odd jobs around here, I’m sure I can do that anywhere.”
Ellis said, “What will you do if your old man comes after you?”
I said, “He won’t. I’ll wait until he passes out, just like he does every night. By the time he wakes up in the morning, I’ll be long gone.”
He asked, “How are you going to get away?”
I paused a minute, “There is a midnight freight train that leaves town every day, I guess I’ll try and hop on that.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes. I said, “Hey, you could run away with me.”
He sighed, “I can’t leave my family. I’m the oldest, my folks depend on me. I know I’ll probably end up that mill for the rest of my life too, but it won’t be that bad.”
I nodded, “I figured that is what you would say. I understand. I wish I had a good family like you.”
Ellis and I sat in silence for a while. He had his arm around my shoulder as I leaned against him. I would certainly miss him if I did leave. I had never felt so close to any of the other boys I spent time with. It was time for me to get home to make pa’s supper, so we said goodbye and left.
I guess I’ll have to keep thinking of a plan, and hope pa doesn’t get me a job. I’ll write more if I come up with a plan.
***
I felt a lump in my throat as we finished reading that entry. Walter definitely had feelings for Ellis but wanted to leave so badly. It was too bad Ellis couldn’t leave with Walter, but it was obvious that he had a better relationship with his family.
Kyle said, “It sounds like Walter and Ellis like each other. I mean as in they like each other as more than just friends.”
I nodded, “Yeah, I noticed that too.”
Kyle asked, “What do you think about two guys liking each other?”
I asked, “What do you mean?”
He shrugged, “I mean liking each other like Walter and Ellis seem to. Do you know any guys that like guys… and not girls?”
I felt the heat rush to my face, “I don’t know what to think. I don’t think I know anyone that likes guys. Do you?”
Neither one of us could bring ourselves to use gay to describe our feelings. I guess saying it out loud would make it real, and I don’t think we were ready to admit that just yet.
Kyle took a deep breath, “We already have some secrets. Will you promise me that you will keep one more, if I tell you?”
I nodded, “Of course.”
He said, “I don’t like girls.”
I paused, “Ok.”
He continued, “I think I kind of like you, like Walter likes Ellis.”
My heart raced. Once I was able to form a thought, I said, “I guess I feel the same way about you. My dick wasn’t hard the day we went skinny dipping because we read the journal. It was because I saw you naked.”
Kyle smiled, “Yeah, mine too.”
I said, “As a matter of fact, I’m hard right now just talking about this.”
He chuckled, “Yeah, me too.” He rubbed the fronts of his jeans and asked, “Can I see yours again?”
I smiled, “Only if I can see yours.”
We immediately pulled our shorts down and stood there looking at each other. Kyle’s body was very similar to Murph’s. His dick was a little longer than mine, but I was slightly thicker. We both started to stroke ourselves as we locked our eyes. I let out a slight gasp when Kyle reached over to grab my hardon. I returned the favor and took his pole into my hand and started to tug. It only took a few pulls before we were both squirting our seed on the floor.
Kyle sighed, “Was it ok that I touched you?”
I nodded, “Yeah, I kind of liked it. I liked touching you too.”
I sat back and asked, “Does this make us gay?”
Ok, I said it. I asked the question. Was Kyle going to turn and run away if we put a label on this?
He looked at me, “I’m not sure, I know I like it, and I like being with you.”
Well, he’s still here and we are still talking about it, so that’s a good sign.
I sighed “Me too, I think that I am more attracted to guys than girls, especially you. I just keep thinking about hearing my dad talk about those queers in California and it seems like what we are doing is wrong.”
Kyle looked concerned, “Do you want to stop spending time together?”
I shook my head, “No, not at all. It’s just that I don’t think we should be in a hurry to tell anybody else about it.”
He nodded “Yeah, you’re probably right, but I do like being with you even if we aren’t messing around.”
I smiled, “I do too. God, I wonder what Walter and Ellis were thinking, it had to be even harder for them.”
Kyle said, “Yeah, Walter’s dad seems like a real ass.”
I asked, “Should we read the next entry?”
He smiled, “Sure.”
Walter and Ellis Continue their Exploration
***
June 21, 1922
I finished up my chores at home and was able to get a couple more odd jobs done for my neighbors. I headed to the pond in hopes that Ellis would be there. I was sitting on the rock waiting as Ellis walked up the trail. We both smiled as he got to where I was sitting. I stood up and to my surprise he gave me a big hug. We had never done that before, but it felt so natural. I suddenly felt so safe in his arms, cared for, and even loved for the first time since ma died.
We broke our embrace, and I smiled, “I’m glad you were able to make it today.”
Ellis said, “My pop only gave a few chores to do this morning so ma told me I could go for a swim.”
We immediately stripped and dove into the pond. Neither of us were embarrassed by our erections any longer, nor did we try to hide them from each other. It just didn’t seem to matter anymore. We swam for about an hour and crawled out of the pond and sat on the rock in the sun.
I smiled at Ellis, “I need to go to the shed to hide my money, do you want to come with me?”
He nodded, “Sure.”
We didn’t bother to put our clothes on; you couldn’t see us from the road anyway. We walked into the shed, and I added today’s money to my can and stashed it away. I turned to see Ellis standing there in all his glory, God he was beautiful. I walked over to him, and I just stared into his caring brown eyes; he seemed to be lost in my eyes too. I’m not sure what I was thinking, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. He didn’t pull away and opened his mouth a little as I did the same. Soon we wrapped our arms around each other, and we were sharing a deep passionate kiss. I had never heard of two boys kissing before, but it felt so right.
We moved over to the blanket that I had brought to the shed the last time pa was in one of moods. We went to the floor and Ellis was lying on top of me, our hard members rubbing against each other. To my disappointment, Ellis broke our kiss and was soon kissing his way down my chest and stomach, stroking me as he went. My heart was racing as I felt someone touch the most private part of my body for the first time. I had my head tilted back, every nerve in my body tingling.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt something wet run across my willie. I looked down just in time to see Ellis wrap his lips around the head of my dick and start to suck. Holy Jesus, what was he doing? His mouth was so warm and wet, it felt incredible. After his second head bob, I felt a strange sensation starting in my nuts. What the hell was happing? Without warning I felt my pecker jerk, and I started squirting something into Ellis’s mouth. He was startled but kept his lips tight on my member. Once I quit squirting, Ellis released his lips and took a big swallow, a little white liquid dripping down his chin.
I panicked, “Oh my God Ellis, I am so sorry I don’t know what that was, I have never felt that before. I would have warned you if I had known that was going to happen.”
He smiled, “It’s ok Walter, I kind of liked it.”
I caught my breath and said, “Well, it sure felt good. Would you like me to put your dick in my mouth like you did to me?”
Ellis said, “If you want to. Just put it in and suck a little bit. That is what I did.”
Ellis lay on his back, and I moved down between his legs. I licked the tip, just as he had done and went down until the head of his pecker hit the back of my throat.
I choked a little and Ellis said, “You don’t have to go so deep, just suck a little now.”
I followed his advice and began to move up and down slowly. It just came naturally, and I was surprised that I was enjoying it so much. I reached up and cupped his balls and after a couple more strokes they tightened up against the base of his willie. I heard Ellis let out a slight moan and I began to taste something I had never tasted before, a little salty and tangy. Just like Ellis, I took a big gulp and swallowed. I looked up at Ellis as he lay there panting.
He said, “You were right Walter, that felt really good. I have never felt anything like that before either.”
I crawled up next to Ellis as we started kissing again, we laid back and held each other for a while. I never wanted this moment to end; I felt so safe in Ellis’s arms.
I asked, “What does all of this mean?”
Ellis said, “What does what mean?”
I sighed, “All this stuff we are doing. The kissing, touching, and sucking each other. Does this mean we are queer?”
He shrugged, “I’m not sure Walter, I just know I like it, and I like being with you.”
I snuggled against his chest and said, “I know, I feel the same way.”
I’ll write more once I figure out what all this means.
***
Kyle and I just looked at each other, both stunned at what we just read. They just had the same conversation that Kyle and I did.
Kyle said, “They didn’t even know what cum was.”
I nodded, “Yeah, I noticed that too.”
Kyle asked, “What did you think about them kissing?”
I shrugged, “It’s normal for people that care about each other to kiss, I’m not sure I have ever heard of two guys doing it though.”
He nodded, “Yeah, but you’re right, people that care for each other kiss. So why wouldn’t two guys do it?”
I paused for a minute, “Do you want to see what it’s like?”
Kyle looked at me, “You mean kissing?”
I nodded, “Yeah.”
He asked, “Do you?”
I sighed, “Kind of.”
We stared at each other for a moment, then leaned in until our lips met. It only took a few seconds before we were pushing our tongues down each other’s throats. Just as Walter described, it seemed so natural. Kyle pulled me on top of him, and we continued to kiss for what seemed like hours, neither of us wanted it to end. We finally broke our kiss and sat back, just looking at each other.
Kyle said, “I’m not sure about you, but I liked that. A lot.”
I smiled, “So did I.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes, and I said, “I should go home, my dad will be home from work soon.”
We didn’t talk about Walter and Ellis sucking each other, but I knew that thought was in the back of both of our minds. I have to admit, even before I met Kyle, I always wondered what that would be like. I imagined that getting sucked would be incredible, but to be honest, I wanted to try sucking too. I was going to have to think about swallowing though, but now I am very curious about the taste.
Kyle nodded, “Yeah, my dad will be home soon too.” He paused before he asked, “So, are you ok with what we did?”
I nodded, “Yeah, I think so. Are you?”
He smiled, “Yes, I’m good, and I want to do it anytime you do.”
I said, “Yeah, I want to do it again too.”
Kyle grinned, “So can we meet tomorrow and read the next entry?”
I smiled, “Of course, I’ll be here right after lunch.”
Kyle gave me another kiss, and we hid the journal and left to go home.
Mike and Kyle Read Some More
The next day, we were back at the shed after I mowed the lawn, and Kyle had done the chores his dad had left for him to do.
I gave Kyle a kiss as we sat down to read the next entry in the journal.
Kyle asked, “What do you think Walter and Ellis are up to today?”
I smiled, “Let’s find out.”
***
June 29, 1922
I set the plate of ham on the table in front of pa.
He scowled at me, “You severed me ham the last two nights. Why the hell can’t you make something else?”
I sighed, “It’s all we have pa, I’m sorry. You need to stop by the butcher’s and get us something else.”
He quickly stood and his hand landed across my face.
He yelled, “You know damn good and well, I don’t get paid until Friday. I ain’t got the money to buy food every day.”
I sort of mumbled, “You sure have enough money to buy your booze.”
He glared at me and said, “What did you say?”
I shook my head and said, “Nothin’ pa.”
He brought his hand back again; I was prepared for it this time and grabbed his wrist.
He stared at me for a moment and said, “You better watch your mouth, boy.”
He walked away with his bottle in his hand. I went outside to compose myself. An hour later I went back inside to clean up. He had already passed out; I again put out the lit cigarette he had left burning and went to bed.
The next day, I did some work for Mrs. Higgens and asked her to pay me with a chicken. At least we wouldn’t have to have ham for supper again tonight. Ellis wasn’t going to be able to come to the pond today, so I had plenty of time to butcher the chicken. Of course, pa barely acknowledged what I had done, not that I was expecting a thank you. I was just glad that he didn’t have an excuse to hit me again. I sat on the front porch after I cleaned up thinking about how I was going to get the hell away from here.
***
Kyle and I looked at each other, Kyle said, “Well, it wasn’t as hot as the last entries, but Walter’s old man sure is an ass.”
I nodded, “Yeah, no wonder he wants to get away so bad.”
He sighed, “I guess we have it pretty good, don’t we?”
I agreed, “I think it’s bad when my dad makes me weed the garden or mow the lawn. I really can’t imagine thinking that it was bad enough to leave home.”
Kyle nodded, “Yeah, Walter doesn’t even seem to be scared about leaving. He doesn’t even have a clear plan; he’s just going to leave and figure it all out on the fly.”
I said, “I know I couldn’t be that brave.”
Kyle said, “Walter is getting braver at standing up to his dad too. Making that comment about having money for booze and stopping him from hitting him again took a lot of guts.”
I nodded, “Yeah, I thought that too. I guess getting hit so many times just makes you want to stop it.”
We both sat back and sighed.
I looked at my watch and said, “I guess I should be headed home to help mom set the table before dad gets home. Can you come to the pond for a swim tomorrow, and then we can come to the shed to read the next entry?”
Kyle smiled, “I can’t tomorrow, but I can be here the next day.”
We stashed the journal and gave each other a kiss and went home for the day.
To be Continued…
