The Hathaway

Frailties

Breakfast with the kids saw them fully restored to their normal grumpy, sassy, whining selves. Kevin even asked if we were fighting since he hadn’t heard us having sex during the night. I just grinned and said, “Maybe we finally figured out how to do it quietly, or maybe we’re just too old to go at it anymore.” Ben was caught off guard by this answer and actually shot milk out his nose, he laughed so hard. While everyone was laughing at Ben’s nasal fountain, Helmut staggered in. He was moving gingerly as if he were stiff from a particularly intense workout, or he were recovering from an injury.

“What’s up old man?” Kevin greeted him playfully. “Time finally catching up with you?”

He straightened up immediately and denied anything was wrong. “Not yet, you little bastard, but if I catch up with you, you might regret saying that.” He lunged toward Kevin, who managed to evade his grasp and circle around the table.

“Got to be quicker than that,” he smirked as he headed for the rec room. Helmut ran after him, growling, and we could hear roars of laughter as the pursuit turned into a game of tag.

Ash watched them nervously for a moment, and finally came over to me and said, “I know they’re just playing and Helmut would never hurt Kevin, but..”

“But it makes you uncomfortable. It hasn’t always been a game, has it?” He shook his head and looked like he might burst into tears. Ben had been listening and headed off to the rec room to quiet the others down. I wanted to gather Ash in my arms and hold him safe, but I knew that even that might be too much for him, that being held against his will would probably remind him of whatever violence he had experienced in the past. Instead, I asked, “What would make you feel safer?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “I like that they play together like that, I don’t want to spoil it for them or anything, I just wish I could be part of it without being afraid.”

“Maybe someday you will,” I offered, “But for now, would you like a hug?” He nodded and I wrapped my arms around him, wishing I could undo the hurt that others had caused him.

Kevin and Helmut came in and Kevin immediately put his hand on Ash’s shoulder and assured him, “No worries, bro, we were just playing around, sorry if it scared you.”

Ash smiled at him and apologized, “Sorry I’m such a wimp.”

Kevin glanced at me before telling Ash, “You’re not a wimp. You’re my little brother now.”

“Mine too!” Chad shouted from across the table.

“And if anyone ever calls you a wimp or gives you any trouble, you jut let me know. I’ll take care of them.”

“Yeah,” Chad added, with a mouth full of cereal, “Me too!”

Ash gave them both a grateful look and simply responded, “Thanks,” before releasing himself from my hold and returning to his breakfast. I got the sense that the two older boys were going to do more to help him heal than any therapist or counselor ever could, and I was grateful that I would be allowed to watch it happen.

Ben promised to bring another picnic lunch at noontime, and I headed off to work. I wasn’t sure what to expect from Evelyn after last night, but that would be up to her, all I could do was ‘keep on being my fabulous self’, as Phil had phrased it. It would be up to her to choose how to respond. 

Surprisingly, she didn’t show up for work. While I was sort of dreading our initial encounter, I was a bit concerned. Was she alright? Before lunch I asked the HR person if she had called in sick or something. “No,” he said, “She’s not here? I haven’t heard anything. That’s not like her, I’ll have to give her a call.”

The morning had grown cloudy and it looked like it might rain in the afternoon, so we opted for a picnic table under a shelter at one end of the green, just in case. Ben filled me in on all the goings on at home, and mentioned that Helmut was acting oddly. “Nothing too obvious,” he said, “But something’s different. For one thing, he’s been walking like his balls are sore.”

“Really?” I was at a loss. “We’ll have to ask him about it.”

“Already have. He won’t talk, just grumbles about not getting enough sleep and tells me to mind my own business.”

I laughed, “Well, that sounds like our Helmut, and If I know him there’s no point in pushing, he won’t say anything until he’s good and ready.” We finished our lunch and before Ben headed home I asked, “Have the protesters shown up today?”

“Not yet,” he responded, “but they don’t usually get there until lunchtime or a little later, so they may be there when I get back. Who knows?”

“Is the cruiser still parked out front?”

“Yup,” he smiled. “I took a cup of coffee out for him when I headed out here. He seemed happy to have it.”

“Give me a call if anything unusual happens,” I asked. “It’s pretty quiet today and I could get away if I needed to.” I kissed him goodbye and headed in to the museum before the rain hit.

Two things happened during the afternoon. First, the HR manager found me and told me they had not been able to contact Evelyn. “She’s not answering her phone,” he worried, “I’m wondering if we should report this to the police.”

“Absolutely!” I insisted. “I saw her last night and she was healthy, but I think she may have changed her mind about the protests, and who knows what those protesters are capable of? I would definitely let the police know.” I began to worry myself, and wondered if I should call Ben or Helmut to go check on her house. But after last night I was sure that Ben was not a good choice for this, and Helmut was a stranger to her. I decided to leave it to the cops, but follow up later.

The second thing that happened was that Heather showed up. She walked into my office unannounced and chirped a cheerful, “Hello.”

I jumped up and gave her a big bear hug. “You’re back! How was Europe? Tell me all about it.”

She gave me a quick overview of her travels and we generally caught up over the next half hour. Then she asked, “So, what have I missed? Anything exciting? I hear there have been some protests. What’s that all about?”

I filled her in, finally telling her about Evelyn’s odd behavior and Ben’s encounter with her last night. She grew concerned, “And no one’s heard from her? That’s not like her at all.” She got up and moved toward the door. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll pop over and check on her. She’s invited me over for dinner several times since I started working here, so it won’t be awkward at all if I head over to say hello.” I agreed that it was a good idea and she hurried off into the rain without even bothering to grab an umbrella.

It was still early, but I began to think about calling it a day. As I tidied my office I heard a number of sirens rush through the downtown, but thought nothing of it. While the town was one of the safest places I had ever lived, there was still a darker side, a few drug dealers, and a tiny bit of violence, often connected to the college, but usually nothing serious. Sirens usually meant that someone had had a minor road accident, or there might be a grass fire that was getting out of control. I continued to get ready to go home, when the HR manager burst into my office and announced. “Heather just phoned. Evelyn has…” he was getting choked up but found a way to continue. “...She’s tried to take her own life.”

I stood in stunned silence. When I finally found my voice, I asked, “Tried? Please tell me they got to her in time.”

“Heather said she was still alive when they took her off in the ambulance.” He drew in a long breath. “Why would she do this? I don’t understand.”

“I do,” I whispered.

“What?”

“I could never have imagined she would...I need to get Ben. Did heather follow the ambulance to the hospital?”

“I think so, yes, yes, she said something about that. I was just so upset…’

“Understandable, so am I.” I patted him on the shoulder as I rushed out of the office, calling back, “I’ll keep you informed.”

I ran all the way home and was drenched when I arrived. A couple of the kids tried to say hi, but I was on a mission. I ran up the stairs and found Ben once again surfing the web in search of info about becoming a forest ranger. “What are you ding home so...What’s wrong?” Even before I had entered the apartment I had begun peeling off the wet outer layers of clothes, and I hardly acknowledged him as I ran to the bedroom to finish stripping and put on dry clothes.

“We’ve got to get to the hospital,” I shouted as he followed me. “Evelyn has attempted suicide.”

“Oh my god.” He didn’t hesitate, but grabbed his shoes and put them on. After grabbing his wallet and keys, he found a small bag and filled it with some water bottles and a crochet project. By the time I was ready he was standing at the door wearing his overcoat and holding mine out for me to put on.

“What’s going on?” My unusual arrival was not a quiet one, and all five kids and one of the supervisors had now made their way to the entrance hall on the main floor.

I was too focused to reply, but Ben managed to tell the kids, “A friend from work is in the hospital and Joey is worried.” Then looking at the supervisor, he added, “I’ll call later when we know more.”

We reached the car together but Ben took my keys and insisted on driving. “You’re in no state to drive,” he declared. “Get in the passenger’s seat.” It was not a request. As he started the car, he asked, “Why didn’t you just call me from work? I would have been there quicker and you wouldn’t have got so wet.”

“I don’t know,” I said, still muddled. “I didn’t think of it. All I could think of was getting you and getting to the hospital.” I told him everything I knew and voiced my suspicions as to why she might do what she did. He listened, quietly nodding on occasion, but keeping his eyes focused on the road. After I had finished he continued driving in silence, no questions, no commentary, just silent introspection. I imagined he must be asking himself the same question I had been asking myself since I heard the news. Were we somehow responsible for this?