The Families in Rossford

PRESENTS

CONCLUDED

Waking up on Christmas morning, he smelled no coffee, no breakfast, none of what Brendan usually did. And there was no alarm clock set, no memory of Midnight Mass. He wasn’t sorry for Ruthven, not really. He couldn’t understand those people who regretted sex. He’d had good sex, and mediocre sex, but he’d never had regrettable sex. Only it had happened in place of Midnight Mass and old traditions, and now the house felt cold and bare, lonely in the winter light.

“Where is he?” Kenny wondered. Part of him wondered if, in fact, Bren could have come home, could have come here and figured out what was going on. Ruthven’s car had been in front of the house. He panicked, his heart beat quickly and his breath was a little short before he remembered: We’re not together.

But Brendan was the man he kept house with, the one with whom he had shared a life, in a somewhat haphazard way, for eighteen years. He thought he should at least get up and go find him, maybe call around a few places before getting in the car and driving all over town.

“Or,” Kenny realized, since Brendan really, really, wasn’t his boyfriend anymore. “I could actually go see my family.”

“Maris!” her mother called, “Lindsay’s here.”

“Alright, Mom!”

Maris got up off the couch, and pulling her sweatshirt on, went down the hall to meet her friend who was coming toward her with a little pink bag.

“Merry Christmas,” Lindsay said.

Maris pulled her by the hand, down the hall and up the stairs into the bathroom.

“Lock the door,” she said.

Lindsay obeyed and Maris opened the bag. pulling out the pregnancy test and muttering, “My God. What a Christmas present.”

“How long will it take?” Lindsay said, turning around while Maris opened the box, pulled out the stick and then began to unbutton her pants.

“Only a few minutes and then I know… what I know.”

The house began filling up after eleven. Everyone knew they shouldn’t show up until then, but once the clock moved from 10:59, everyone was there. Adele and Simon along with Anne, and then Layla with Will, and in a few minutes Dena, Milo, Cara and Rob. By the time Sheridan arrived with Brendan, Fenn, stepping out of the kitchen to let his mother and his sister work, said: “Maybe it’s time to move Christmas to someone else’s house.”

“I think,” Layla told her uncle, “you would hate that.”

“I might get over it in time.”

“I might grow a third breast,” Layla reflected.

By then Tom and Lee were arriving with Dylan, and Maia showed up before Natalie and Tara. Fenn reflected that Tom’s house was bigger than his, and Nell had that great big house the Meradans had always lived in. Yet they were here. Brendan had a family he’d spent the morning with, and yet he was here.

“Which reminds me…”

“Reminds you of what?” Todd said, next to him.

“Brendan,” he said to the young man sitting beside Layla, “Where’s Kenneth?”

“What’s that?”

But when Fenn opened his mouth to repeat it, Brendan said, “I don’t know. I mean, I wasn’t really home last night.”

Sheridan said, suddenly, “He’s probably with his family. I’m sure he’ll be around later.”

Fenn nodded and said in a low voice to Todd, “There’s more to this story.”

“Are you going to ask?”

“I’m too old to be the busybody I used to be.”

“I thought you’d say that.”

“We can’t interfere the way we used to,” Fenn told him. “We have shit of our own.”

Todd nodded.

“And we just don’t have the energy.”

Lindsay stood against the door with her arms wrapped around her, trembling as if she was the one who might be in trouble.

“Well?” she said to Maris.

Maris Clark’s face was hard.

She said, “Fuck.”

“We could try again.”

“And I would be pregnant again,” Maris said, putting the stick back in the bag. “Just like I was on the last two.”

“Did you know… I was watching The Doctors, and they said that a dollar store pregnancy test was as good as the expensive ones.”

Maris turned and looked at her.

“I was just trying to make conversation,” Lindsay said.

Then suddenly she said, “Oh, my God. This is bad. This is really, really, really bad.”

“Please shut up.”

“I’m sorry,” Lindsay clapped her hands together. “What should I do? What are we going to do?”

Maris lifted the toilet lid and sat down, crossing her legs.

“Whatever it is, I need to think, quickly.”

“Are we going to keep it?”

“We?” Maris said.

“I don’t want you to feel you’re on your own.”

Maris knew Lindsay was a good friend, and she knew she needed to respect that. She took a breath and thought before speaking.

“Well, I am going to keep my baby. I just can’t…” Maris shook her head. “That’s the only option. I can’t be one of those bitches who… Nope. There’s a place in hell for those bitches.”

Lindsay waited for Maris to stop talking to herself and then she said, “So?”

“So,” Maris said, “I need to find a dad for this baby.”

“Isn’t Hunter the father?”

“Hunter is the idiot who fucked me,” Maris said. “But…. He’s no type of father.”

Lindsay didn’t want to anger her friend. She didn’t want to keep asking questions Maris didn’t have the answers to. But this one was important, so she said, “What are you going to do?”

Maris glanced at the bag with the peed on sticks.

“Whatever I have to.”

“What’s up with Bren?” Will nosed up to his brother. “You seem to know.”

“Yeah, I do know,” Sheridan said. “And I’m the one who’s gonna keep on knowing.”

“Well!” Will said.

“I’m not trying to be an ass,” Sheridan told his brother, “but when he wants you to know, he’ll tell you.”

“Bren is my best friend. He’s been my best friend for years.”

“Well, then maybe you should just go up and ask him,” Sheridan told him before adding, “Idiot.”

Will looked around the house, and when he couldn’t find Brendan, he tapped Dena on the shoulder.

“Oh, he’s heading out—” she began, but before she could continue, Will headed out the door.

“Bren!”

“Yeah, Will?”

“Where are you off to?”

“Home. It’s just downstairs now.”

“You moved out.”

“I moved out.”

“Why? I mean,” Will began again, “what I meant to say is…”

Brendan stood there, looking patiently at his friend. He reshifted the parcels of food Fenn had packed for him.

“Brendan Miller, you’ve always been there for me. And I will always be there for you.”

Brendan gave Will a half smile and said, “Thanks, Will. I know you will be.”

He gave Will a quick hug and said, “Merry Christmas, Will Klasko.”

And then Brendan turned around and walked in front of the house and around it to the apartment door where he was instantly startled by:

“Sheridan.”

“Are you going to just keep me standing out here in the cold, or are you going to open the door?”

“I… uh,” Brendan put down the bags, reached into his pocket, took out the key and pushed it into the lock.

“The place probably isn’t even clean. It’s probably musty as all get out.”

“We’ll clean it then,” Sheridan said.

“But—”

“I’m sure,” Sheridan said, taking Brendan’s jacket and his parcels of food from him, and flipping the light on as he walked down the steps into the basement apartment, “that you want to be all alone right now.”

“Yes.That’s exactly what I was thinking about—”

“And,” Sheridan continued, “I’m sure I don’t care.”

Brendan followed Sheridan down into the apartment, and Sheridan said, “I think that Will told you he will always be here for you, and that’s wonderful of him. It goes for me too. I’m going to be here for you. Right here. Right now.”

Brendan opened his mouth and then closed it, saying, “Alright, then.”

“So… do you want coffee… or tea.”

“I guess… coffee.”

“Good,” Sheridan said. “Truth is, I never liked tea anyway. It’s an old woman’s drink.”

Sheridan went into the kitchenette and soon Brendan heard water running.

Sheridan looked around the apartment that had been Fenn’s present to him after college, the place he had brought Kenny to live with him. It still felt like home, and off in the kitchen there was a companion bustling about, preparing the smells that would make an old abandoned apartment home.

Sheridan stuck his head out of the kitchenette, and before he could say it, Brendan said, “Merry Christmas, Sher.”

Sheridan winked at him, and then pulled his head back into the kitchen.

The snow was falling softly outside, and the house seemed larger than ever. Really, he was just worried now. Leonard Cohen droned from the stereo:

I've heard there was a secret chord

That David played, and it pleased the Lord

But you don't really care for music, do you?

It goes like this

The fourth, the fifth

The minor fall, the major lift

The baffled king composing Hallelujah

 

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

 

There was a tap at the door and Kenny half ran through the house to let Brendan back in.

“Hey.”

It wasn’t Brendan, or even Sean Babcock. That would have been a stretch no matter how welcome. It wasn’t any of his friends. He half resented Milo for not having some sort of telepathic sense and coming to him.

It was Ruthven Meradan.

He stood in those faded jeans that were soft to the touch and fit his thighs, and he was wearing an old American Eagle Outfitters hoodie.

“Can I come in?” he said.

“Oh… yeah. I forgot myself. Come in.”

Ruthven pulled down his hood to reveal the cap of golden hair, and he smiled pleasantly, touching the little beard at his chin.

“I had one hell of a rough Christmas,” he was saying. “I need to take my ass back to California.”

“Yeah—” Kenny began, but he stopped because Ruthven’s hands hand went to his crotch and was cupping him.

“But,” Ruthven said, coming forward and kissing him, “I was thinking maybe we could continue where we left of. Until then?”

“Uh…” Kenny said as Ruthven massaged all the worry and upset of the day out of him and stroked in desire… “Yeah,” his voice was shallow. “I think that would be a good idea.”