The Catwalk On The Prairie

Almost miraculously wranglers from all over the spread showed up and began doing the work Britt and Clem ought to have been doing; I'd known there were many other hands but Heck kept them away from the house, from me but that there was no concern there, he hauled them in to continue the every day work.

 Heck kept me doing quiet things or going on long rides with him; Couple of times we camped out which he said was great sport IF you didn't have to do it. I could see the truth in that. Both of us worked, I worked out...just under the watchful eye of my man who on occasion turned himself into my nannie. Don't do this. Put that down. I can lift....you shouldn't .....Let me...etc. During those periods Ram was the most cared for horse in six states as there wasn't much I was allowed to do. One annoying fact was that I still had little to no idea as to geography given a land that offered almost nothing in the way of site lines or direction finders. Remembering that the sun rose in the East and set in the West was my best way of remembering anything which wasn't much. One day I accidentally found the uplinks for the elaborate phone, television and computer system and it was just as well I did-notice I said I found it by accident? I had to call to have Heck come and find me a fact that amused him but annoyed the shit out of me. Why, I would ask, isn't there some sort of map that would at least allow me to navigate from here to there. His answer was dandy, just tell him where was here and where was there and he'd figure something out. That time I stalked into  the bathroom and stayed there for three hours. Again, he had the last laugh, in my anger I'd stripped, covered myself with towels and gone to sleep on the floor. And, yes, I got popped in the ass wth bent bottle caps. After which he'd laugh himself bent double, picked me up took me to bed and made his wonderful soft, long love. It was almost worth being hit with a bottle cap. Okay, it was better. So there.

Bob had been very secretive since the "incident" about how things were going in Amarillo. Thanks to Marigold seeing the books we knew he was doing well enough at the two man shop but...little to no mention was made of his upcoming career. I'd made a carefully, very carefully worded call to Alexei saying that we needed to cancel the shoot which, I believe, saddened him more because we didn't get together than a missed opportunity in photographing...us. No point in telling him that "us" was reduced to "me" and that my career as a photographer's model was fast slipping away. I'd find something to make up for it but....offering him a chance to come and do landscape photography, knowing what I did of the landscape, wouldn't be an enticement to anyone, amateur or professional. It did occur to me that Heck was as good looking as he'd ever been but....whether I could persuade Alexei to see him as a viable trade off for Britt....was a question that, just then, I didn't wish to answer; In my mind it was a clear YES but to Alexei who was used to flaxen blonds who were almost twins.....?

For Christmas we'd talked about throwing an old fashioned Country Christmas the only set back was that neither of us were certain how to do it. The Dads were invited as were Will, Bon and Lannie, some of the hands to whom we'd grown close as we came to appreciate their work ethic (Heck and I were on a parallel track when it came to that.) and...who else? The horses? I'd seen Christmas cards of cowboys carrying home a tree-odd to be lit with candles...-plus bags of presents headed toward a ranch house in the middle of nowhere but with enough decorations to be a notable feature from Sky Lab. While we could come up with a house in the middle of nowhere, which of us would portray the cowboy, riding a horse with a lit tree and bags of gifts? For that, where would we get the gifts? I'd been to Amarillo and knew there were stores but to ask them to gift wrap our purchases and send them, please, would end badly; Packages left in who knows what kind of weather for several days, even a week, might not fare too well.

And what to give Heck? It wasn't a case of what do you give to a man who has everything, it was more about buying a gift for a man who has everything he wants, modest though that may be. Too, what might he get me? I addressed that situation at dinner one evening and was taken aback at his shock and amazement. Not give you a present? We'd always had some little loblolly or something. Didn't have to be much. New pair of 501's.....and after that he ran out of ideas. To many men this means "socks and underwear". Again. Then, curse him, he turned the question on me, what would I like? I was screwed, nailed to the door, hung from a rafter, there wasn't anything, I had the thing I most wanted which was him but he had to have an answer so...501's. He got that impish smile, dinner was adjourned, he picked me up, plunked me in front of the fire place and fucked me. The gift that keeps on giving. So long as the man does.

No idea where Heck, or someone, found a live Christmas tree and even less as to where the ornaments came from. Apart from shoots for magazines, I'd never decorated a tree and he had even less experience than I did. Also, it had a nasty list to starboard of about 20 degrees which meant we used more rope securing it to vertical than it would take to hang a man. No lights, no decorations, it looked strangely ominous, lurking in the corner waiting for an appropriate moment to fall on us or just fall over. Which it did. After the third time, Heck threw it out where the birds and other critters could use it for their own purposes. I referred to it as the ghost tree of Christmas before and after. So much for a "festive home, waiting to welcome family and friends to your lavishly decorated home." I'd been reading Better Homes and Gardens and that was their take on what Christmas ought to be.

Heck bought me a top of the line Ford Raptor 150 at some insane price but, his logic, it was saving Ram from having to use his bump of direction when, once again, I got lost. There was a homing beacon in the truck which constantly told me how far I was from home and how to get there. Interesting gadget but one that did not account for ditches, roads without verging, one lane roads which almost didn't exist as roads and, finally, roads that were "on the map" because someone said they existed and ought to be. It was about then that Heck started taking Helicopter lessons.
By keeping a set of very explicit notes, I could find the main road which led me, if I turned right, to Springfield or, left, to the tip of the Oklahoma panhandle at which juncture, one way to Amarillo, the other to Santa Fe. This writes easier and faster than it actually took. As opposed to the plane, Amarillo took several hours, Santa Fe a bit more and Springfield, almost local in terms of how distances were measured-not in miles but in time. And, yes, somehow I veered onto I-40 around Albuquerque and while not specifically lost, couldn't figure out how to reverse my route of flight. When I got back to the nothingness that marked the road to our place, Heck was standing there, leaning against a post, that shit eating grin on his face. Knew I wasn't in any trouble but was in for several days of ribbing about "must not want to come back very badly since I got lost running away from home." He found that after six repetitions of that, sex and my participation in it grew  less active.

There was another very valid reason to concern everyone about me and motor vehicles of any sort. Until I was 20, almost 21, I'd never driven anything. Period. Full stop. Because of our unfortunate fame, it was mandatory that someone who was proficient in both evasive and defensive driving take the wheel. Heck on the other hand, had been driving, typical of ranch kids, almost anything with wheels since he was around eight. Whether this was a good idea or not, he'd taught me how to drive in his truck and that wasn't a quick process; It had been a long procedure taking almost six month and, even then, when we went to the driver's license testing place in Pueblo, Heck had feared for the safety of the officer administering the test...other motorists; I passed but, in looking at my score, we might use the expression, "barely". The officer couldn't believe a man my age had never had a driver's license before now and that led us to questions we did not want to answer. So. I had a temporary license-my permanent one would arrive in the post in some weeks time-so all I lacked was a vehicle.

That's how we acquired the Raptor. As the dealer told us, the original purchaser had been told by his wife that for the money he paid for it, he could easily afford two divorces, one for him and one for her; It was returned. I guess it was quite a bargain but how would I know? The only car with which I was familiar was a Cadillac Limousine which was not by any stretch, a suitable ranch vehicle. The Raptor had one other advantage, according to Heck, it was bright red which could alert driver's to its approach or give those searching for me, a bright beacon that would reflect in flash light beams. In short, no one had any hope for my driving abilities.

An old problem was potentially a new problem. Somebody had picked up a magazine, current issue, and there we were on the cover. Yes, it was a fan magazine but what it didn't just suggest, but screamed, was that the market for our image still existed. In getting the license, my name and current address-well, it was a P.O. box number could be easily found. The truck could not be in my name as it, too, could be traced back to the ranch. What Heck had said early on was that no one, absofuckinglutely no one got on that property unless he knew about it which I knew to be correct. Still, Heck et al had not dealt with the mania that had accompanied us for years and seemed to be building again. It was Marigold who came up with the bright idea of issuing a statement saying we had gone our separate ways professionally, that I had purchased a ranch in Montana and planned to live there a substantial amount of the time. Britt-about whom we could say anything-was "rumored" to have turned agains his fans, resented them and was heavily guarded against them. The statement concluded not with the usual request for privacy but rather with a warning that any person, professional or otherwise, who attempted to interfere with us would find themselves jailed and subject to both criminal and civil prosecution.

The outcry in the press was enormous and over quickly. It had been some little while since the zenith of our fame and, as many of them were quick to point out, we were just pretty faces that, as with so many equally pretty faces that came and went, faded. In fact, the press, who had made rather a lot of money on us, were virulent in that they hadn't been granted a final interview, picture but we'd made it clear we did not wish to be let alone, we would be let alone, full stop. We got a gift when a large tabloid published a story about where we were and what we were doing in retirement and found themselves facing a very large civil suit and criminal suit which, we found out, their attorneys told them would not sustain in court and we would prevail. Not only did we want a full, front page retraction, but their admission that the whole story had been concocted out of nothing but their imaginations. We picked up a hefty sum, but this served as a direct warning to others that we'd meant what we'd said, come looking for us and you'd find yourselves in very sticky territory.

This did not prevent the single person, the paparazzi who would do anything for a "scoop" to attempt to flush one or both of us out. If the first one was outright fabrication, this jerked said he'd spoken to us, knew where we were and, oh Christ what a big mistake, was willing to withhold that information on payment of a very large sum of money. This got him publicity alright, he was on the front page of the New York Times as he was arrested on charges of extortion and lots more. We had to approve any "deal" he was offered by the District Attorney and just to make our point, refused to do so. Keep in mind he was at the bottom of the scum barrel when it came to his standards and ethics, he was well known for that and we said, "No", no deal. I believe he got something like ten years-turned out there were others who joined our suit along the same lines.
That infuriated the media who assumed that Freedom of the Press meant Freedom to do Anything and now they found out that no meant no and in very public ways. One person, Alexei, did have an exclusive contract with me, and only me, which when the sturm and drang blew over, we'd let him fulfill.

I was 21 could vote, drink, drive, fuck....well, that goes without saying and one of the few "adult" privileges I was more than adequately prepared to exercise. The Christmas we'd discussed was spent listening to a firm of Philadelphia Lawyers advise us on what we needed to do. Turns out that was almost nothing but it allowed us to spend some days in the "big" city enjoying the lights, the crowds, the hysteria that is Christmas. And, of course, apart from a large, attractive suite at the hotel, did nothing. Whatever else the legal matters were doing, it had brought a new set of eyes on us so.....it was just like every other Christmas. The Dads, Bob, Lannie and a couple of our hands who did alternative duty as tourists and body guards were installed way up high from which one could almost believe the silence of the snow was real, there were no crowds and we could just be a few among many. Pretty little dream if entirely false.

One thing that added something to our holidays was a letter from Britt. And, had he chosen to go another direction with his invective, it might have had an effect other than the one it conveyed. We were all shits, worthless, he condemned his father, my father, me, Heck, Bob to eternal hell for causing him this pain, this degradation. etc. We all read it once then threw it out, Bob making the comment that he'd mis-spelt degradation. seemed a nice coda to an unhappy moment.

Dad sent Heck and me, Bob and Lannie off to "Bed": for some "bed rest" and we were told to stay there until further notice. We could follow instructions, off we went. "What's he up to? Any ideas? Dane, yer old man is one of the kindest sneakiest people I know, ever did know 'n ever will know. Right now he could be out there installing a still, wallpaperin' a room who knows what the fuck he's up to but one things for sure, what ever it is, we don't expect it. No sirree." And he was right.

Another reason Dad had sent us, the couples, off to our rooms was to allow the adults celebrate the evening however we chose to do it. In a way, I'm surprised he didn't send lists of suggestions as to what we might enjoy doing-it's the sort of thing he would have done. Given that we were slightly tired, after we finished whatever we thought to do we curled up in each others arms and slept the sleep of the....well satisfied if not the righteous. 

One of the surest signs of Christmas morning is the sound of the occasional Christmas ornament plunging to it's death as well as the sound of an adult squashing something leading to a river of perfectly timed obscenities to which there is no venom but considerable vehemence. That's how our Christmas started that lonely day in Philadelphia. The two couples were allowed out and into the main sitting room which had been transformed into the old fashioned Christmas I'd thought about. A huge tree, fully decorated with enough lights and tinsel it was amazing that it didn't tip over, gifts that spilled out onto the carpet and halfway across the room. Dad was dressed like a somewhat slopped Santa in that he had a red cap, long pointed top surmounted by a white puff of fur. He also had a red nose and red cheeks which might have suggested spirits but we chose to overlook that. He had us seated, handed out footed pajamas we were to put on and then played Santa. That the toys weren't quite what you might have expected for either children or adults, they spelt out love in overwhelming abundance. Heck got a ready to roll model train, Bob a full sized toy barber shop-with all sorts of warnings, I got a neckers nob and mud flaps, Lannie held up a new barber seat for adults, one with a cock that popped up when you rolled the right way. Stockings were hung by a bar without care containing miniature bottles of booze, oranges, silver dollars, foil wrapped orange chocolate orbs, neatly sectioned. plus socks and underwear for all, cashmere sweaters, good suede and fur lined gloved. It took us most of the morning to get it all open. While it sounds corny, and here and there was, it had been selected with great care and love for each recipient; there were few dry eyes in the place at various moments. What was missing was Uncle Jerry but maybe he felt that this year, the place to be was in Vegas. Which is where we were all going late that day on a hired jet.

I finally managed to get Dad away from the madness and the mayhem and thanked him for being the spirit lifter that we all needed just then. For once, he grabbed and kissed me in a not so fatherly way and enquired is my offer of a fuck was still open and I just nodded. Then back to the party. The revelers had abandoned the footed pajamas and were into our new socks and underwear, the latter being see-through briefs-in Christmas colors and boot socks. Perhaps unwisely we'd grabbed Dad and attempted to toss him in a blanket Eskimo style which ended in significant damage to a coffered ceiling and a fine looking Sheraton chandelier. I assumed all of that would be added to someone's bill although to play fair, we invited an assistant manager up to assay the damage now rather than later. He also stayed as did a couple of guys from Room Service and our security people. /Good thing the Assistant manager was there, he had the keys to open adjoining rooms and suites so no one would be with out a bed....or some one to use it with. 

Making good on a promise, I took Dad off to a room that had a shower and prepared him for what he wanted. Laying in bed with him, he told me that he knew this wasn't really right but, as I said, it was Christmas, so all was good. But I had to know one thing, "Why?". He rolled on one side, ran a finger down my muscular chest and said, "Because I want to understand what Heck finds so damn appealing. You've only had one man and, my guess, you'll stick with him. Now, this won't tell me that or much of anything but it will take me to the world of man sex, which I'm so much surrounded by, and give me a peek. I smiled at him, "That's why you're my father. Did you know I didn't have sex with Heck for months after we met? Had to make sure." And are you? I didn't answer but put my arms around his chest, drew him to me and started that which started here and ended there. 

Some hours later Dad was asleep, smiling as was I. Something in me said I had to tell Heck, that...that I'd been unfaithful but when I found him in a bed by himself, he just got up and went with me back to where my father was and we both got into the bed with him. "Proud of you, Dane, I knew he wanted it, just once, cuz he asked me. He's a mighty fine man and you know something else? I looked at him. "I sure as shit am glad I don't haveta clean up that mess tomorrow......Hope I mentioned it but....Merry Christmas!"

Today turned into the next day before we were finally wheels up for Vegas having acquired yet another passenger, Alexei. Hard to know who was happier to see whom but it really didn't matter. He was frisked of anything that would take pictures and told his time was coming. The point of this trip was for all of us to enjoy ourselves....and avoid recognition. Heck and I stuck to old cowboy gear that gave no hint as to reality, just a pair of stumble bum cowboys wandered in to town to blow off some steam, lose a few fucks and be impressed by the Fremont Street Experience...worked perfectly. Pair of silver aviator glasses, old jeans with the circle where the tobacco round was kept in the back pocket, scruffy hems on jeans, old boots, two layers of shirt, fleece lined jacket over a hoodie and....who we were didn't matter. Only once, at a 21 table in some small casino were we almost made but...it was Heck, not me, who got the once over. And the offer. The management apologized to us and escorted the jerk who'd solicited him out the door never to be seen again. To make up for any inconvenience, we got meal and drink tickets and they were so gracious and genuinely anxious to please, we planned to pay them back. 

Alexei was in a spa having his feet rubbed when we found him-they'd made us remove our clothing before going in substituting a robe that almost fit. He hadn't seen the new, bulging me and Heck came as an equally pleasant surprise. Dropping our robes, we hopped into the spa allowing him to continue having his feet worked on-does anything really feel better, more relaxing? In short we were hitting him below his ability to think logically while waves of pleasure swept over him starting with this little piggie...or maybe it was that one. What we wanted him to do was take a series of photographs of a new male dance routine that we hoped to bring to Vegas, indeed to the small casino and hotel where Heck and I had been so graciously treated. This was, and we knew it, far beyond what he'd agreed to do and far, far beyond the fees he would normally charge. I thought of some pretext for Heck to stand up and turn, carefully displaying all about him that was great while explaining, in very graphic terms, how this might look if only he did the pictures. That Heck wasn't going to appear in them I overlooked but it was an oversight that could be corrected later. Much later if we could push our luck to the tipping point. 

He asked about the act, logically he would, but, again, fortune favored us and whoever was rubbing him hit some erogenous zone or another and the question was largely forgotten. Before it could be remembered, we high tailed it out, found our clothes, found Bob and told him to get himself back to Amarillo PDQ and get the "act" in the best shape possible. That we didn't exactly know what the "act" consisted of, save in the broadest possible strokes, we felt it best to keep it that way, what we didn't know we couldn't really lie about. Or logic like that. Heck said he thought he'd best go along to be there in case of anything going wrong. One look from me suggested, no, told him, nothing had better go wrong. Nothing.
While Heck rode herd on that I found the management of the small casino and hotel and didn't so much ask as demand they give the act a try out in their bar/theatre. In so many ways they were the perfectly size for this, too small and it would self destruct, too big and you'd need to hand out binoculars to see what the fuck was going on. Up close and personal, which was about the size of their theatre was-usually used for lounge shows-was just right. All they had to do was get it cleaned and find an audience of regulars who would honestly fill in comments cards  after the show. IF all was positive, they agreed to book it for a year sight unseen; In retrospect they took this odd ball deal because of my celebrity and their belief I would be in the show. I never said I would so their own imaginings led them down the garden path to a wrong conclusion. The fact that they now who precisely who I was, Alexei had a portfolio, helped a great deal. They had heard about my being chased by throngs of the young, that if I drank Zippy Pop then all would drink zippy pop and, most importantly, if I were known to stay at their casino....If an oversize picture of me that no one had seen previously was on their marquee, if it was believed, as it was, that I would appear almost totally nude in an all male review in their show room.....I left them to draw their own conclusions which, of course, they did. Their only question was....when could I move into their finest suite? This afternoon too soon? I thought not.

For variety I thought I should talk to my Dad about my latest efforts to make the greatest number of people happy. As certain of what I'd done made good sense, it just would make me more confident if we talked it over. The only problem, if there was one, was finding him someplace like we'd found Alexei...in the spa, relaxed. He was in bed so....I slipped off my clothes and crawled in with him, no thoughts of other than prime time father/son conversation which is what I got. Pleased to find me there and also pleased to have me turn to him for advice, he carefully thought it all through and could only find one huge problem; No one had seen the act and I could potentially sold the other casino a bill of goods. He was quick to add that he didn't know that, but it was the obvious turd in the church social punch. Put that way, I shuddered closer to him trying to extract a promise that if it all went kaflooey, he'd still love me, Heck would still love me and we could scatter back to the ranch with no one knowing where we went. With a sneaky smile, he rubbed my ass and  said he's always have my tail.

I found myself being more and more involved in the business of Vegas and liking it less and less. There was a harsh brutality to everything that never had been an intrensic part of me but was now almost forced upon me. I was expected to talk as tough as they did over trivials and still not revealing that I knew nothing of the act save that it featured good looking, well built guys in various stages of undress. Tho I'd ask for a name, a scant few pictures to use in "coming next whenever' ads, I didn't even have a name for the act. Not that I couldn't think of one, maybe more  but calling it, ' Barber Bob and His Zipper Clippers' had every chance of being wrong. And there was another thing, I was getting horny for Heck and told him so.
I must have hit the right chord on his sexual response organ for late the next evening he was crawling into bed with me, reaching for me, crying for me, overwhelmed that I'd tell him I was horny for him. He finally admitted it, he'd been "missin' me a whole bunch hisself" which translates into he was horny for me as well. Convenient when these two desires can be be handled with the same solution.
The next morning both of us looked substantially happy even if having to walk wasn't as easy as it would be later in the day. I took him to the airport, staying away from the crowds at check in, suggested he not be a stranger and for fucks sake send me something, anything about the show. He promised but as he was swallowed by the crowd.....just what did he promise? 

In the end I did what I'd promised myself I wouldn't do and that was fly into Amarillo to see for myself what I'd been selling to others; One of two things, I would see something salvageable or Two, I see disaster on the hoof and start damage control right then.

There was a "Three" but I'd been too deeply involved in the negatives that I'd never even considered it; That it was Great! Sitting there in a darkened theatre with only technical people who'd seen it all before and therefore paid no attention, I was astounded. The only moments I bounced, a little, was when my Stallion, Ram, made an apprearance being riden by a mostly nude man I didn't know. And, How Could I Forget This?, my partner as part of the finale dressed as a cowboy if a cowboy only wore boots and a great looking hat.
The opening was something I'd never heard of so...how could I know there would be one. Lannie, second chair barber to Bob, came out in most of a dress uniform-the parts he wore nicely displayed what was under cover. But then the unexpected. He did the Rifle Drill, the one where a soldier well trained works a rifle every which way from high tosses to using it almost like a pole dancer. It was stunning and so comepletely new and unexpected....I didn't know if that plus the other parts added up to a hit but this was a professionally done show, no question about it. But one that asked more questions, at least for me, than provided....anything. For example, where did all those men come from? I'd never seen them, no mention had been made but at various moments there were at least 20 guys on stage wearing from very little to nothing. And, of course, my horse.

A familiar looking cowboy sauntered down the aisle looking for someone, me; Of course when I usually saw him he was wearing nothing or whatever the day's dress code seemed to require. But boots and a hat? No. Heck has always liked picking me up and so that's what he did hollering to the men on stage, he's got another member of the company. This was while I was slapping his naked ass with my cowboy hat with a running dialogue that said, "put me down you idiot, now do you hear me, now, down, I am not a chorus boy and I 'm not joining the show and when did you and who brought my horse you asshole and PUT ME DOWN." Hadn't worked then, didn't work now. Instead, I was dumped on the stage, striped of my clothing, boots and all, and fucked in front of everyone.......Okay, it felt good but we'd always kept our sex life private and if he thought for one minute, one iota of a second I'd do this on stage, on a table on any horizontal surface for money he was crazy. One thing, I'd stopped pounding his ass with my hat and gave in to deep moans. And, how nice, we'd drawn a crowd.

"Now there's a finale!" Applause, hugs, even while his sperm dripped down my hips, whatever the show might have been, he and I were certainly excellent, possibly because we'd had lots of practice; There are reasons for losing your cherry but getting pounded on a stage with viewers by a man you love isn't one of them.
Staggering up, some thoughtful person handed me some wet towels as well as a dry one which still left me naked-although on the stage at that moment, being naked was more or less the dress code of the day and no one much noticed. I also asked for something to wear and was handed a hat, some boots and, in the hat, a minimal jock that had been oversewn with spangles to look like gay camouflage-the hat had the same treatment around the band, the boots, I was grateful for this, were my own. Also joining me was my horse who nuzzled me hoping, I'm sure, for treats; Dressed as I was the possiblity of hidden treats wasn't likely unless he'd like to suck my dick which I doubted.

Wanting to have a few quiet moments with my partner I screamed, "HECK, GET OVER HERE, NOW." That brought silence while a man who looked sheepish, if nude, wandered in my direction. "Hand him some clothes....". He got about what I got but in a different color scheme. Hooking my finger over the top of where his bulge was, I propelled him into the wings of the theater, my point being to have a serious, one on one, talk with this errant chorus boy about things, things in general. Well not so general.
"Where the hell did all these men come from? Who choreographed this? Costumes? Music? All of it.....Heck you know I love you more than life but,  buddy, I sent you off to check on how things were going and I find I've got everything from my horse to nude chorus boys from "South Pacific"....this didn't come from nowhere and beyond question, Bob couldn't have cut enough hair in a year to finance this so.....Fill In The Blanks."
"Ah, Dane, ya see....uh....when I got here...I, uh...."
"Cut out the pregnant pauses, now, 'when you got here' ".
"Yeah, mm, when I got here it was lookin' real good, gotta say Aidan and Kelly....."
"Kelly? Who the fuck is Kelly?"
"Uh, that'd be a close friend 'a Aidan's who knew a thang or two about dancin' so natcherelly,  Bob asked him to sorta, you know...."
"Not yet I don't but I intend to. Bob asked this Kelly person..."
"Swell guy, you'll like him."
"Who cares, get on with it. You've now got Aidan, Bob and Kelly which leaves only about seventeen or eighteen or so guys whom I've never seen or heard of, not once in all these weeks. Heck, you're being a running evasion, I love you, I'll hear with an open mind what you've got to say but....you must tell me. I have made promises based on zip about this show...."
"Did ya like it?"
"Well, certainly, who wouldn't like it unless you were expecting a musical version of Ibsen's "A Doll's House" which this is not...and where did all the money come from? Who staged....." And I'd blown up as far as I could go so I fell on him, in tears, choking out syllables that didn't make sense even to me.
"Come on, over here...sit down." Somehow he found something for us to sit on that wouldn't leave splinters in our bare asses. "Now listen, buddy, it's alright, ya gotta believe me. You saw it, you know how good it is, it was your idea back in the tack room, remember 'Sergeant Sword' and Bob poppin' out of his cammies? This is nothing but sorta like that only a bit more."
I looked at him, tears of annoyance still dribbling down my face. "A Bit More? You think what I just saw is a 'bit more' than what Bob did in your tack room? Oh, Heck, that's just delusional." And put my head in both hands causing my hat to fall on the floor leaving me with just three garmets assuming you count boots as garments. He looked down, now sad, nothing to say. 

I wanted to slap myself, I'd missed the fact that all these people, even if I didn't know them, had put this together to please me, to help Bob and....they'd done it, I'd been too caught up in Vegas and trying to assuage the troops there that all was well without thinking it might well be. I fell into his arms, again. "Jesus, Heck, I've been a cocksucking fool. It's a great show, I love it, I don't give a fart who paid for it, who designed it, who did all the work that clearly was done. If they don't fucking like this, I'll buy or build a theatre and put it on there. "
"Christ, you sound like Mickey and Judy wantin' to put on a show in the barn with all the New York critics......" This time when he kissed me, he got kisssed back.

Bits and pieces of clothing were found for mostly everyone save those who were perfectly happy naked or as near as was possible. I thought about chairs but somehow said this worked better if we all found comfortable things to sit on and drew round the lack of campfire while I was filled in on, well, not just a few things, but everything. Aidan was also shown "Sergeant Sword" which he immediately recognized had elements that could be expanded and then why not show the transition from soldier to cowboy. I thought about what they were saying and realized that was what I'd precisely scene. Starting with the rifle twirl to ending with ropes being used as a cowboy used a rope although in this case instead of calves they'd caught and hog tied mostly naked cowboys. The whole thing was a masterstroke of conception and presentation. Aidan filled in about where the exta men came from; the obvious answer being his gym and the one on the Air Force Base. Great guys who worked out steadily with an idea to do....something with their bodies and then this came along. About half of them were straight and no effort to convert them was made although half way into rehearsal, to say that no one had experienced man sex would be erroneous. Apparently they enjoyed it for, as Heck always said, who gives a fuck about sexual preference, a blow job always feels good to any man. The truth to this homily was in front of us.
I suppose the bombshell, at least to me, was that the Dads had paid for all this. How much? I never really knew but people who were aware of costs and accounting in show business said while it wasn't the colossal production it might have been, nothing had been spared, everything that was needed was provided and at least one thing came free; Bob cut every mans hair in a good military style, another factor that blended the look of the production together. Also, it worked in that soldiers and cowboys do not bother about hair styles and just go for something simple and short. Which is what they got.

Now that I'd signed on, tho as what I wasn't sure, the rest of the day was spent doing slices of numbers, doing some singing-some of them had really fine musical theatre voices which was what was needed. No need to worry about appearances, everyone was in great shape, some even beyond that just shy of being muscle bound but clearly, muscled up.
It may be about then when I was showed a program for the performance. While I hadn't expected something like the Playbill you get in New York theatres, what I was handed was so far afield...on the cover was the whole cast more or less nude but arranged in such a way that it was everything but....on the rear was the reverse of the front, only everyone's ass was on display. I could see a hefty business in programs even for those who never saw the show. Okay, that had a pleasant sort of raunch but it was inside, the center fold that stopped my clock. Granted it was all in shadow but every cast member was photographed in full profile with a hard dick and balls that had to have been persuaded to hang down. Other pages were filled with bios about the performers, the staff, who had done what and, Oh God, I was listed as the person who thought the whole thing up. No picture. Business was remembered in that there were numerous spots for print advertising-I assumed that whoever bought a space knew what the performance they were complicitly endorsing was about, what it contained....We finally broke for the evening which meant that a great many men paired off and went....wherever they went. Heck and I had the suite in the best hotel in Amarillo and, with some very determined words, it was made clear that my name, my likeness, nothing about me could be made public as being a guest in their house. Otherwise, and I had clippings to prove this, their very nice hotel could be torn to ribbons by teenagers determined to get to me. That's why we always hired the local police, at least the ones off duty to loiter around the lobby, the elevators, the floor I was on...does all this sound silly? Remember those articles I showed the manager? I wasn't kidding and if chose not to believe me, I suggested he call some of the hotels we'd stayed at and get their reports. Some did and came back ashen but with every promise we'd be safe. I suggested issued guns to the senior staff.

Dad, Bob, Adrian and Kelly were off somewhere having meetings or discussions or whatever about the show, didn't matter to us. Heck and I found a room service trolley with some good food and a selection of alcoholic beverages, plus some Cokes, etc. We each had three fingers of Bourbon followed with a water chaser and that was that for liquor consumption. We picked at dinner just as we were picking at the edge of a topic that we both knew was there.
"Shower? I could use the dust of Amarillo off and....if I had a partner, it would just feel good." For what seemed the fifth time today I removed my clothes noticing that he did as well. Arm in arm we walked into the shower, stood back while it got warm then stood in the stream just holding each other, saying things, but mainly just assuring the bond of love and loyalty was holding tight. Over time we'd developed a ritual, shampoo first until it was running down our shoulders, liquid shower soap dumped on each shoulder and then worked all the way down to the crotch where, standing up, we applied more gel and gently jerked each other off. Cleaned off the legs, took a good long rinse then grabbed all the towels and proceeded to dry one another, may be the best of the procedure. I noticed it took all of less than a minute to dry his hair, Bob's handy work, no doubt.
Couldn't say we walked back arm in arm but more wrapped around each other until we fell on the bed. 

We lay there alternately in each others arms, on top of one another, me laying on him, twisting my fingers in his body hair,,it was the sort of intimate moment that doesn't look so but is. I'd put it off so...it now was the moment to cut some rope and take the saddle of his back.
"No way around it, I'm gonna love you forever so it's time for me to quit being selfish and set you free to do what I think you want to do." I could feel his body tense up. "For all the hell that Britt and I went through, the crowds, the too  pushy fans....the bottom line is that we enjoyed it. Yes, we gunched about it, told anyone who'd listen what a piss poor life we had but...when we'd open a magazine or see a billboard and see...us...I have to tell you it was a thrill. You have a great life, your own ranch, a man who loves you, your very good looks...."
"You goin' anywhere with this or just tryin' ta find the right path?"
"Oh, I know where I'm going, yes, I really  do and it's to this place, now, the present and into the future. Heck, I want you to do the show for as long as it makes you happy, you get something from it. I want you up on that stage your cock and balls barely covered, your beautiful smile thrilling all the people in the audience....and I want me in that audience clapping my hands off because I'm looking at my man and, damn, he's looking fine. That's where I'm going with all this; You get your freedom and my love and years from now we can compare notes and laugh.

He was puddling up as he drew close me to him. Nothing to say, just his gratitude and my pleasure in giving him something I knew he really wanted to do, live the fantasy, find out what it would really be like, roll in it and....maybe years from now, come home to me a fuller, more complete man than had left. Here was his chance to not have to be responsible for anyone or any thing other than his performance. All those years of sick cows, an idiot brother who was a walking complainer and then....me. Had to admit that, I'd learned but it had been hard for him as I fucked up, made mistakes but at the end of the day, in bed, beside him, well, we made us both happy and that was before the sex part was even counted in.

We both lay there, together, touching, enjoying the simple intimacy of touching. I rolled over and up on my elbow. "Didn't think I let you do it, did you?"
"Right to tell, I didn't know, knew I wouldn't ask but I know my man, yer a good'n Dane, none finer so I knew whatever you decided would be the best for all of us. Hell yeah I wanted to do it but it kinda all got away from all of us faster'n what I spect anyone thought 'n there it was,. I was naked wearing a horse and...I truly loved it."
"Yeah, about that horse.....Ram is my horse and I assumed after the end of practicing, you'd return him...."
"He's got the biggest balls on stage....sides, I think he likes doin' it."
"You two had a talk about this...?"
"Course not but....he's done all the rehearsals and to bring in another Stallion, now, I don't know....course as you say....he's yer's...."
I would have been an fool not to have heard that note of pleading and I knew I'd give in, reluctantly, but I'd give in.
"Fuck, keep the horse, I bet there's another one back home that'll do me fine."
"Did I tell you his name is in the program? Couldn't have our big cock and balls horse without a name...."
I was suddenly edgy. I was about to be told something that Heck thought might annoy me. "What'd you name him?"
"Dane Ram". And quickly rolled off he side of the bed holding a pillow over his crew cut. "Dane Ram.....well, it's fine name for a fine horse. Get back up here."
"Ya shore?"
"Just get up here." Slowly he crawled back up but kept his distance whether from fear or discovering how annoyed I might be he wasn't sure, but it had to be one of them. "Get over, now you've got me all horny and I can't do a thing about it with you where you are." You never saw a man cross a short distance as fast as he did.
All was well. He had the show, my horse, my love and, momentarily, my ass. Some guys just have all the luck.

There wasn't much more for me to do in Vegas so I grabbed our fly boy and had him fly me home-since I wasn't allowed to learn to fly, Heck found a cowboy, formerly with the Marine Air Corps, that did know how, hired him and presented him to me as an all purpose person who not only could fly, but knew about ranching as well. As I didn't go about much, I wet leased the plane which included the pilot and made a nice stack of change doing it.

The next trip back was all seriousness and carried with it the cow bells of disaster; This was the performance for the men who ran the casino where, hopefully, the show would play. They had known up front that this was a gay show with gay men, nothing particularly new for Vegas but....we would be the first to be the headline show at a casino in their showroom. No do overs, no "ah fucks", no missed cues, had to go smoothly, professionally, and look great. I knew it looked great, everyone connected with it felt the same but we thought and felt could now be tossed out.
I'd had our plane fly out, pick them up and found them the best hotel rooms in Amarillo, ones that didn't have a lock outside and air conditioners in the windows. As best we could, we'd invited a lot of locals to attend, made easier by Bob's Barber shop and the following he'd developed. Even the mayor had been invited but whether he'd attend...yet to be seen. I checked over the theatre looking for any discarded papers, trash, whatever. Promptly at 7:30 the doors opened, guests were escorted to their tables, drinks were served, trays of nibble food was handed round but all I could see was the clock as it drew closer to eight and, finally, it was show time.

There was one intense spotlight that shone on the classis fallen soldier icon, two boots. a rifle stuck in the sand, the helmet on the butt of the rifle. Out of the shadows came Lannie wearing only a camouflage jock, a ripped tank top and some socks. With no hesitation, he sat on the stage, tied on the boots, put on the helmet then standing, pulled the rifle from whatever it was sticking in. Not a sound save the increasing noise as he twirled the rifle, flipped it a good twenty feet in the air, threw it again, caught it behind his back and, as the pace increased, it became hard to distinguish him from the rifle. It ended as quickly as it started, he was on the ground, boots off, rifle stuck in with the bayonet, helmet on top and Lannie pulled up in a ball clearly lamenting the deaths of soldiers. Lights were out, briefly, then came up on two gobs ready to go on their first shore leave. The song, "A Sailor's not a Sailor till a sailor's been tattooed" was sung,  origanally by Ethel Merman and Mitzi Gaynor but their version was nothing like ours. As the scene developed, some controversy came up as to where a sailor should be tattooed. Which led to a loss of clothing. Some of the chorus guys came in, each removing something to  illustrate where they thought it should be.

The stunned silence after Lannie told me what I wanted to know and the thunderous applause after the tattoo number just sealed it. We were if not yet a hit, that was for audiences to decide, but we were definitely going into a theatre on the strip in Vegas. Dad handled all the negotiations which went smoothly as, in advance, it had all been worked out save for one speed bump, the quality of the show; Well, that had been resolved.
I hung around the stage for a time after it was all over, the well wishers had gone and tried to remember Bob in his Cammies coming through the door into the tack room and doing "Sergeant Sword" which was included as a solo strip in the show  but joined, at a point by six other guys who formed a wide channel in which Bob peeled and, in doing so, pointed out which garment of the men came off. In the end, Bob was naked and the other six were down to minimal jocks in camouflage print, all of them hard. As Bob flashed his salute, his cock came up and the lights went out.

Back in my suite I wondered if Heck would show up but was prepared for that not to happen. Not that he'd forget me, but he'd be pulled in so many directions, so many people....I pulled off my boots and everything else I was wearing, rolled into bed, pulled it around the way I liked it, mashed a couple of pillows, put my head in them and managed to get to sleep.
Around four I got up, took a leak, no Heck, got back in bed, back to sleep. I'd left a wake up call for eight, which I got, did my morning stretch on my way to the shower. Shaved, teeth, packed all that stuff up, pulled out an unworn shirt, 501's socks, boots, closed my duffel and was ready to go. Sat down, wrote Heck a note congratulating him, told him how grand he, and the horse, had been, that I loved him, would always loved him.....signed it, stuck it in an envelope, his name on it, tossed it on the bed, grabbed my hat and was out the door.
Rusty had the plane ready to go so all that was needed was for me to get in, pull the door and staircase up, lock it and, while we taxied, sat down in the second seat, pulled down the very heavily tinted sunglasses and we were almost to the turn for the active runway. Everything was clear so he hit the max rotation on the Porter and we were both almost pulling a couple of Gs and, seconds after that, Vegas was fast dropping below us.
"I put in for a high curve, figured we'd get home sooner." Had to ask. "What did ya think of the show?" He leaned back a bit made a correction as numbers were called to him from somewhere then finally said, "Ya know, that ain't my kinda show. I'm all for tits and ass but not male tits and ass. Sorry but you asked."
"Yeah, it wasn't designed for you just curious as to how a straight man would see it. So beyond the nudity...any comments." He thought. "I'll tell you that opening with the guy and the rifle, that set me on edge. First rate, I've seen it done before but it takes balls to do it live and he sure 'nuff did it. Finest kind. If you took objection to that then....why were you there. Parts of it are real funny, if you're asking if it will succeed, my answer would be hell yes. Apart from the cock and balls there's nothing offensive in it, no vulgarity, good jokes, I'm not going back to see it but I'd tell someone headed out there that, for something different, that fills the ticket."
"Thanks, Rusty, that's the review I wanted to hear."
"No problem Boss Man, now, time to get you home, you look fierce."

The phone was ringing as I rounded the door jamb into the rumpus room. Out of breath I answered and said something profound like, "Yeah"
"Son, is that you? You sound all out of breath."
"Am. Give me ten then call back, okay?" I hope he  said okay back at me as I went upstairs, crawled down the hall and fell on our bed. Hard to take your clothes off when you're lying on them but it can be done. Just remember to shuck off your boots before you pull down your britches. I was down to my jock and socks when it rang again.
"Sorry, Dad, I heard the phone and ran until I answered and, well, you know.....": "Yeah, raised you to be handsome, not some sprinter. Heck was looking for you, said he found your note but...he was kinda torn up."
"Aw, jeez, I just felt he needed the time for his own glory and that didn't include me so...flew home."
"Think you might turn on your phone?"
"Shit, right now, I'm looking for it....someplace...maybe left it on...no, got it, all open for business. What do I need to know?
"It's in your fax machine and all of it is good, cept there's one hang dog cowboy...."
"Dad, I didn't mean to screw anything just thought I'd give him some space without hauling me around...
The phone I'd just turned on rang.
"Want odds on who that is. Love Ya, Kid."
I tried to sound composed but it didn't work. "Dane? that you, gosh darn it why'd ya leave like that, I came up to find you but..the bed was empty and you were gone."
"Listen, Heck, I just thought you needed some space, I wanted you to hear all the nice things people would say and....well... I figured if I was around you'd have to introduce me and that would take some of the glory from you. Aw, Heck, you know how much I love you. Anything for my cowman."
"Then get out here and help me with this horn I'm a growin' Bet you've got one yerself."
"Heck, I'm so washed out, give me until tomorrow...also I think I heard Rusty say he had a rental for the plane this afternoon......Heck?" The line was dead.

Okay, he was pissed, had every right to be. I should have stayed but....I honestly thought I was doing the right thing. No point in calling back, he'd either refuse to answer or just turn it off. Gadgets.
Exhaustion and I do not do well as a rule. I puttered around the house, went to the office, lay down, took a long nap then decided, against my better judgement, to make some coffee. I'd been shown how to do it but my last few attempts were....not good. The truth is, Heck had to throw out the pot as the sludge I created couldn't have been used to pave gravel. This time I started with a measuring cup but foundered on how much water versus how much coffee. It was a moment when I decided to buy instant no matter who said what about it; I knew I could boil water.
The back door blew open and before I had a chance to look I was in his arms, he was kissing my face, he was crying. "Never, never leave me like that...please Dane, yer my whole life and if I thought I'd a lost ya...." His 'attack' was so sudden and so determined that in order to get some sort of traction, I knocked the coffee maker on the floor where it shattered. He was holding me so tight that breathing was becoming a consideration.
"Heck, Heck,.."as I tried to beat on his chest.."Turn me loose." Love was overcoming him to the point that leaving the coffee maker on the floor plus some other small things, he started dragging me up the stair case. My boot heels were going thumpety, thump, thump while I tried to break loose. No luck. Down the hall into our bedroom where he threw me on the bed then fell on me, his tears wetting my chin and my shirt.
"Dane, I love you, I love you so much that when I found you'd up and gone I got skeert that maybe..." It was a fight but I finally got out from under him, rolled him on his back, put my hands on his shoulder blades and the rest of me pinned down his legs.
"Now listen, nobody, I mean nobody loves you more than I do, never has, never will but that also means there are going to be times when we'll just have to be a part. Like now, I can't move to Vegas and if you want to still be in the show, well, you can't live here, simple as that. Someone has to have bull balls and a horse cock on display and someone has to run the ranch. I know I'm not very good at it, but it's yours and that makes it important to me. Marigold runs the money and you've pulled a really great group of guys to keep me from going too far afield so what I want for you, which is what I told you I wanted, was for you to be in the show, have a helluva good time....remember my saying you hadn't had much fun up to now? Well, nows your chance, get your picture on a billboard just like I used to be...well...wearing fewer clothes...but nothing, comes between us. You find some stallion our there that takes your eye well, I guess I'd just have to shoot the motherfucker." I ran out of breath and speech.
Heck looked like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Smiling but not quite sure how to say whatever it was that needed to be said.
"Uh, partner, this isn't my ranch,......it's our ranch. Had your name put on the deed coupla months back. Told Marigold not to tell you, I was afeerd you'd be annoyed or sumpthin."

I removed one hand from his shoulder, unbuckled my pants, unzipped them and pushed them down toward my boots. Unsnapped my shirt and managed to get it off me. By now I was hot and hard and was working my cock up his abdomen, enjoying the feeling of it as it slowly dragged its way through the fur getting longer and harder then let it pause just below his chin. Bit his nipples looking him straight in those green eyes. My cock was playing with his chin, just waiting. Didn't need to but I pulled his jaw open then raised up and pointed my nicely hard tang straight at his gullet, making him raise his head to catch hold and bring it to him. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the feeling I was getting from a tongue winding and swirling around my steel hard dick, encouraging me to give him the feeling that I was ready. But I wasn't. I made that man suck on my dick until sweat was falling from the points on my nipples into the hair on his chest. I pulled back, he came for it like a hooked trout. Finally I settled down, let him have it his way and then the feeling that starts elsewhere in your body but ends in your nuts and forcing its way down your veined out hard fleshed dick. One gigantic suck and I was gone, shot, emptying myself into the man I loved. I pulled out only enough to get my own tongue in to get the last of the man wine that he'd saved.
"Get up, strip, pull my boots off and get back in the saddle, face down." Didn't take him two minutes before his magnificent back, brilliant butt, well muscled shoulders and calves were there, waiting, wanting expecting. I laid my head next to the opening to his pleasure grove and quietly licked him then, rolling over, began to eat him deeper then twisted my tongue and pulled out to be instantly replaced by my cock, newly hard, ready to go mining and not bothering with waiting to get to the spot it wanted. He moaned slightly as I slid through him but then relaxed when I got to the spot I wanted. He knew what to do, this would be up to him to pull the sperm from my nuts using only his butt muscles. I lay there, feasting on my cock being eaten by the muscled teeth of his interior. Hard then soft then slow then fast then up and down and back where he paused, trying to feel the engorging of the hose down his ass waiting to spray, He could feel it, worked harder, felt it more, then the rush past the muscles, the warm of my male silver streamed into him, thanking him for the privilege of release. 

We lay there, me on top, Heck slowly breathing, reached back, found my hands, drew them to his lips. And we slept joined in so many ways beyond my cock in his chute but as two men who love each other and know it. What we'd just done? Meant nothing, it was what we expected of one another, What mattered was that we'd both wanted it and would always want it. Outside the window the sun finally went down painting the sides of our bodies briefly gold.
I finally slowly pulled out, giving him time to twist around and lick me clean then take it again, not to pump it, but just to hold it, the feel of it, the sense of my trusting him. I ran my hand through his hair starting on the inside of his thigh and, using my fingers as a rake, up through his crotch, grabbing on to the bit of bush left after he'd been trimmed for the show and then one hand on each breast, laying my head by his.
"Ah, shit in my hat, I'm a dam ole fool, you'd never leave me..."
"No, never mean to, knew that a long time ago, you're just some dumb thick headed cowpoke who doesn't recognize love when it's dangling out of somebody's pants." He took me, held me quietly.
"Better catch a few winks, gotta get back to Vegas early...."

At the air park early next morning, Andy asked if I wanted to go along just for the ride. Nice offer but one I couldn't accept. Heck was already too quiet and I thought I knew why. "Get on that plane and don't look back, cuz neither will I. See you soon, and, you know it, I love you." I swatted his butt with my hat as he climbed the stairs into the cabin and I turned away toward my truck. Pulled back just enough to seem like I was leaving but got behind a hedgerow and watched it pull up turn West and then zip up. Andy knew how to scare the shit out of Heck, it was going to be one of those trips.

Will was doing his James Dean impression, open shirt, tank top, hat pushed back. "Get him gone? yeup, I can see the splatter on your collar. Well, buck up, got another thing for you to learn.
Heck had sort of left Will to me as one of the best ranch hands we had. Always half a smile, knew everything about ranching. It was logical and I appreciated Heck making the selection, I'd have never done it so that was a gift.
"What's up for today." He sighed, straightened up, started the truck, looked at me and said, "For the I don't know how many times, I am fucking going to teach you how to drive from here to there without too many detours. Switch, get behind the wheel, now put it in Drive and let's see where we're going."
"Which way?"
Will groaned, "See that road, the one by the fuel tank? Get on it and stay on it until you think you need to turn."

The truck was upright but most of it in a ditch. Will just looked at me. "For the fucking love of God, why did you turn there? There's no road, no trail, nothing."
I was panicked which was why I turned, too afraid of missing something I thought I'd miss, I turned before we quite got to where the turn might have been. Will just looked at me. Then laughed. "Ya know, buddy, you're a great rancher, or gonna be, the handsomest cowboy I know but you can't drive worth sour apple shit. ... Okay, lets see if that fancy winch in the back can get us out of this mess and, Dane, from now on, I drive."

The road home was no more and no less boring than usual which was a place where Heck and I used to talk or just look out the windows at ...nothing. Except in Winter, it was our favorite season during which we did all sorts of dumb things only men would do like...making snow angels naked and upside down. Camp outside the door to the rumpus room-convenient to the coffee but also bundled up in a double sleeping bag, a great place to fuck. This time there was no Heck, by now he was probably somewhere over New Mexico berating Andy and demanding that he straighten up and fly level. That was Andy's cue to do a barrel role or a double Immelman...both guaranteed to drive Heck crazy.
Will put one booted foot on the dash board, the other on the gas, stuck a thumb in the wheel to steer and that was his part of driving. He looked over at me, couldn't miss that I wasn't smiling and was averting my face. "Hey, cowboy, you cannot pos'bly think that man don't love you more than cum on mashed potatoes cuz he does." I shifted in my seat as we did a 90 degree turn on what may or may not have been a road. "See, apart from his shit head brother, who he didn't love, nobody did, that was about sex, yer the only man he loves and ever will love. And I know what I'm talking about cuz I fell in love once and it's still glued to me."
"You? Will? I've never seen you with anyone, go to town, I couldn't be more surprised, almost shocked. You never talk about her..."
"Yeah, well there ain't no 'her' to talk about, it's a 'he'. "
Again, that came out of left field or, maybe it was the most amazing thing I'd heard in, well, a long time. Years earlier I'd abandoned concerning myself with who liked whom and who would like to do what with whomever. But Will did set me back a notch, I didn't care but he displayed nothing that even suggested he'd look at a man for any purpose than the usual reason we all look at men. He pulled over to the side of whatever we were on, turned off the engine, slumped down and looked away.
"Moment I saw him, I knew, my pecker knew, my balls knew, fell in love right there, yes sirree, love shot me in the ass, the nuts and stuck one right up my dick. For a bit there had to wear a rubber cuz I'd shoot if I saw him just ride by going somewhere. 'Course, he never knew, sure as shootin' wasn't goin' ta tell him myself and there was another man in his life, real sum bitch. We all hated him. Good thing bad things don't last cuz one day another cowboy came along, as handsome as a sunrise, kind, good....and Heck fell for him. The joke, at least for a time, was on him, the guy didn't respond but, finally, he figgered it out and I guess they're gonna live happily ever after. Least ways, I hope so".
My shame was so deep that my hands shook. "It was Heck, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, that'd be who it was and I love him still. Good thing is, now listen, Dane, he got himself the best man that could be. This man, that'd be you, is smart, funny, confusing and he loves him permanently. Closest thing I ever did about mentioning how I felt was when I told him he mightn't want to have me hang around you just to make sure you were safe. See, if I couldn't have one, then, hell, might as well have two. Couldn't be better, now could it."
I had to turn my head. Here was this good man telling me factually about his loss and my gain. As usual, I teared up. Will scooted across the bench seat and put an arm around me. "Ain't no big thing. This was goin' on long before you even showed up so no blame but my own. I love him and, I guess, I love you too. Don't want to fuck either of you, don't even think that, just to be around the two of you and be proud of the men I love. He gave me a squeeze and a chaste kiss on my forehead. Someone must have been approving as an owl had landed on the Ford logo on top of the radiator and when Will kissed me, hooted.
"Hop out, ain't no time to drive...."
We stood there a long time,  leaned against the side of the truck, his arm around me watching the sunset. "Well fuck, if I can't teach you to drive in the light, I sure as hell can't do it at night."
"No, you can't." I wanted to offer him some sort of affection but...what? Kiss him back? Didn't think that was what he wanted so we stood there, watching the last sliver of light slide away. The owl gave a farewell hoot and silently flew away. 

Will wasn't a problem, he was a confusion in that I genuinely liked him, as did Heck, but now I wondered if there needed to be some ground rules....but why? Heck was in Vegas, Will was here but he and I worked together, sometimes he'd come in to watch a game, have a beer or a drink, but never, ever did he make a pass or even a vaguely suggestive remark. In fact, since he made up his mind to love us, fine, I'd love him back in the way one man loves another, brobuddy is the best way I can think of to express it and that doesn't quite hit the mark.

One way or another, my mind turned more to Las Vegas, the show, the horror that it might fail...having made worrying into an art form, even Will told me to cut out the crap, it would all be fine and for the Love of God go pick out a horse, this riding a different one every time was confusing them and him. Fine, I could do that. Almost like the last time, I filled up a duster with treats, got them all in the same large pen and just stood there handing out sugar cubes, carrots, celery....and finally I got picked. Ash was a Buckskin Gelding, a bit taller than Ram by about a hand which fitted me better. Got out my saddle, fitted it to him, put it away then walked him to his new stall which was Ram's old one. Instinct told me that Ram would change his preferred rider if and or when he gave up show business. Or his current rider did, a thought I fought back almost daily.
I'd forgotten about clothes other than to remember to put some on when necessary so the opening was an occasion to get some city duds, make my partner proud. I was of two minds about this, Gentleman Rancher or well turned out business man, perhaps wearing black tie. I asked Will what he thought which was, "Fuck, they ain't gonna be looking at you....all that hot tail on stage, wear what you got and forget it.:" Perfectly sensible advice which I immediately voided. Andy flew me to Dallas for an expensive afternoon at Neiman-Marcus (I was recognized which trapped me plus a sales man and two assistants in a dressing room until the cops could clear the place out.). I'd worn fashionable clothing so often that I didn't need much help in finding things left them to be tailored and sent to the barber shop in Amarillo-it was the best way to avoid their being ruined in transit from Big D to the ranch.
That night Will, Andy and I were sitting around my sitting room at the Fairmont watching mindless television and talking about nothing in particular. I KNEW I looked great in clothes but...I wasn't that man looking out from a four cover glossy ad, I was a rancher with a sizeable spread and wasn't that the person I should show up as, not the past? In my mind I had a memory of something I'd seen on a mannequin and that, I thought, was about right. Didn't take long to find out who'd made it, made an appointment with the tailor followed by a flight there, dropping Will at the ranch, he said he'd seen all the crap he needed, and flew on. There was no suit just the pattern, my measurements and material selections. Had a shirt made to go with it then flew home, well satisfied. 

Fall on the ranch was our busiest time. Counts of everything needed to be done, kind of like taking inventory but when you're doing it over 400,000 acres, that complicates matters. This was when my lack of knowledge kicked in; I could tell a cow from a horse but what kind of each...wasn't known. Will and all the hands were patient but we had to get things done so I was told to ride back to the barn and lay out everything there, go through nooks crannies and see what hadn't been seen in some little while. One thing I did do was put things I had no idea their name or purpose in one area and everything else neatly noted. For all this I had a companion, one I only occasionally saw, but chewing on a tuna fish sandwich when I was in the tack room drew her to me. Rosie was one of the many cats that lived, and were welcome, in the barn. We put a little food out but their main fair was vermin, snakes, whatever they could catch that was edible. She accepted a scratch behind her ears then flopped down on the desk, her tail gently swishing back and forth, watching me. It was nice to have something with me, it did keep me from thinking about Heck but...here in this place, the room that was most individually his, it could be hard.
Almost instinctively I leaned the chair back, put my boots on the desk, undid my britches and treated myself to a slow jerk even edging myself just as reward for....being in this room without him. A knock at the door startled me just as my second gusher came in and also caused me to go over backward so when Will walked in he saw my boots, with my jeans pushed down and nothing else. Before I could tell him not to, he came around to see me... my ass on the floor, my hand on my cock, cum on everything and a blush forming. He leaned against the wall, didn't even crack a smile, simply said, "Glad to see you pleasurin' yerself, ought to do it more, the hands all do, I do, Heck did and probably does...and while you're gettin' up, I'll show you a coupla things that you might just like while sitting down."
I had no idea what he was even saying, embarrassed, feeling foolish, I just sat there and tried to assemble things. At least my boots were still on my feet. Will watched all this, saying nothing just waiting until I was standing up ready to pull up my pants and then...
"Take off them boots and the britches. Even if I can't teach you to drive, I sure as hell can show you a few things that a man can and oughta do. Now, peel." While I did that he slipped into the bathroom and came back with a couple of wet towels which were useful.
"Dane, for the love of God, yer goin' to haveta relax around here, you own half of it, Heck wants this to be your home but the way yer actin' it's like your the hired hand on some sort a test to see if you'll get hired. /Damn it, you're hired. Since you were jackin' off there's some other things around you could and should enjoy. Fer instance....see that hole? Ya stick your dick in there and fuck till you squirt. Look around, yer gonna find them in several pieces. Getting yer rocks off can be right calming on a bad day. Now, " he reached in a drawer and took out... something. "Know what this is? It's a sittin' down dildo, when yer workin' stuff this up yer tail and it'll give your prostate a good rubbin', just pause and ride it up and down, and I know you will cuz this one belongs to Heck, he used it, I gave it to him when the one he had wore out. That man could ride from here to Denver on that thing. Sometimes I got one in me when I'm in fer a long ride. I guess you didn't know but about half or more of the guys who work here are as queer as you and Heck and me. That's part a what keeps them loyal and that goes to Heck. Ain't one of them, me included, that he didn't pull out a some mess. Got me outta prison, fact is, I worked here before I went in and he waited, held my job and picked me up at Canon City and brought me back. So all these guys are the same as you. They want their pleasure and a ranch ain't a place that gives ya much so you gotta rely on yourself or a buddy. Don't worry about being caught starkers, we ain't done it yet but there's one pond that we use for swimmin' and I kin tell you, nobody worries about trunks. Now, step over here, reach down, get a little stiff an stick in that hole then fuck the shit outa it."
"Will..."
"No sirree bob, you pull out that mighty fine pecker, here, I'll give you some grease and go for it and, yeah, I'm gonna sit right here, drop my drawers and rub myself up a milk float,"
When it was over and he and I were sitting at the desk naked from the waist down, it was...great to have a buddy. didn't know what to say just put my hand across the table and shook his.
"Dane, yer not only the best lookin' cowboy, but yer one a the best men. When I heard them scoundrels were gonna try and break yer legs, every hand loaded up and strapped on their gun belt. Anything, even the look of anything, and they'd had been taken down in cross fire. Look, these guys truly like and respect you, they know it ain't easy learnin' all this shit but they see you try and they see you work like a sum bitch. Ain't many men stronger than you and, lookin' at 'em just now, you got about the biggest nuts on the place. Might even be bigger than Heck's."
I had relaxed more than I would have thought possible. I looked at Will, picked up Heck's Dildo, reached back and stuck it up my ass, got my hand on my dick and was going for the long, slow job, Will got up, fumbled in another drawer, got another dildo, shoved it up him, leaned back then joined me in the jack off. One thing, I reached in a drawer, pulled out a bottle of Bourbon, pulled the cork, took a swill and handed it to Will. He smiled at me, took a pull himself and put it back on the desk.
Must have been two hours later when we wandered back to the house, not drunk, just companionably smashed. We were carrying our boots and pants so getting undressed was a snap. Pulled the quilt up, rolled on my side and thought, Damn, this was a fine day. 

The  pile of things I didn't know about grew as I pulled out boxes that were almost falling apart giving me the idea that whatever was in them hadn't been used in a very long time, probably wouldn't even be used today. I did know basic tools but "basic" is the operative word; There was a whole set of farriers things that were interesting but I wouldn't have known a farrier or his things if it hadn't been on the side of the wooden crate. I was standing holding another 'thing' when the phone rang. What I thought is...what fresh hell is this? Which is probably why I answered "Yeah?:" instead of something a bit friendlier. It was Heck.
"Bad day at black rock, buddy? You sound pissed off."
"Heck, I am so sorry but I'm looking at piles of things, I don't know what they are, what they do and how important they may be. So...sorry, I'm just annoyed at myself..."
"For what? You ain't done nothin' cept try and that's all any of us can do....the guys will tell you, if they know, what that shit is and I spect much of it could and shoulda been shit canned years ago."
I didn't answer more from relief than anything but afraid if I asked how things were, or how Vegas was, how the show was looking...
"Hey, Partner, wanna share somethin' else with me? Will called this morning and told me about showin' you holes in the wall, my ass kicker, things like that. Glad he did." He paused. "Uh, Dane? uh, he told me about the situation and, fuck, I never knew til he said he'd loved me all these years....loves you too. So...I know how faithful you are..."
"Heck!! Stop right there, I know where you're headed and, and, well...."
"All he wants is to be me while I'm not there. Ya know, just be your man for whatever you want him to do..."
"You motherfucker, what you're trying to say is you want me to let Will fuck me, blow me, do whatever he wants with me....which sorta indicates there may be someone in Vegas filling in for me. That about right?" The silence killed me. I knew I was right and Will accidentally offered him a way to slither out by giving me someone to warm the sheets and my ass.
"Dane, nobody I love more'n you, now, you know that but I'm here and you're there, no reason we shouldn't have to have what we both like....."
"Yeah, that's true, but I want it with you. Will's a great guy and he'd be welcome but not like this. And, by the way, whose tail are you set on to relieve you? One of the guys in the show?"
"Nah, uh, ya ever had a blow job in an airplane? Well, I have and, Dane, I just let it happen so when Andy...."
"Andy? Your fly boy ex marine? That Andy?"
"Well, somethin' sorta like that..."
"Heck, don't fuck with me, not about this. I love you and if you don't know that, if you have to have a man then.....Go fuck him and yourself." Slammed the phone down, grabbed my hat, the keys to the truck and headed out. 

Anger makes you  remember some things and forget others. This time what I forgot to do was check to see how much gas was in the truck. Also I had no concept as to how far gas got you because this was the first vehicle I'd owned or driven. At least when I ran out I was on what was really a road and not some trail. I remembered what Heck had told me about going off which was take a horse with a pack and you'll be alright. Not adding "until we find you."

It took me a couple of hours, and the promise of sundown before I turned on my phone and called Will. Not surprisingly, he was expecting my call. "Guess you and shithead had a kinda fight, so's I hear." I didn't answer. "Dane, I fucked up, I shouldn't a called Heck and offered what I did, I just thought that after the other day maybe we could both find us something for loneliness."
"Did he mention he's already got somebody out there? You timed it perfectly, give me to you and keep Andy out there."\
"Andy?"
"You're no more surprised than I am. Yeah, Andy. Cute little freckle faced, Marine Corps tattooed, snub nosed Andy. The fly boy."
"Uh, yeah, well, we'll talk about that when you get home." There was a pause and almost a sense of humor in his next question. "Did you wreck it? Roll it? or run out of gas? My money's on no gas. I'm not dumb enough to ask where you are....that's why Heck had the locator put in the engine. Call you right back, just need to get to the office and find where he keeps it. Call you back and...Dane, this all works out, I been through it once before with him and, well, it just will."
It was quiet, the sunset over the distant mountains seemed earlier each day, it was getting cooler but fortunately, we kept a set of clothes for all kind of weather in a case in the bed so if I needed anything warm, it was there.
I heard a truck coming. Out here, no idea how far it was but I knew I'd been "found" and it was just a matter of time. What little light was left outlined the Raptor and the bright red color. Ten minutes later, Will and one of the wranglers pulled up, both smiling. Jed, I think that was his name, pulled some gas cans from their truck, added a hose that screwed on then he and Will put two cans full of gas in. Jed secured the cans back in his truck, gave me a friendly wave, turned around and all I could see of his were his tail lights, at least for a while.
I just stood there. No longer mad just awfully hurt, maybe even wounded by a man I thought would never do that. Will came over, put his arms around me, tipped my head on his shoulder and we just stood there. "Dane, my beautiful Dane, you didn't deserve this and why he'd pull a damn fool stunt like that...fuck, Andy must be feeding him loco weed in his cock."
The warmth and caring of the man undid me completely. All I could say was, :"Will, oh my God, Will...." and still holding him, slid down until I was almost sprawled on the road, just holding his legs and not knowing what to do." He hauled me up, got me in the truck, started it and we headed off. 

"Where to?" I didn't care much but since we hadn't turned back, I assumed Will had something else in mind.

A cellie of mine, from prison, has a place that isn't a ranch but it's out in the country a bit. He does a bit a everything there and that's what you need, a bit of everything. Dane, it's time you finished up becomin' a man and this'll just suit you fine. Relax, don't worry. They know we're together and are gonna be gone for a spell...but that's all they need to know cept you're safe. And that dumb cowboy that loves you so much....we'll see just how much he loves you, yes we will. 

Notes from PJ. Yes, this is long and there's more to come. This was how I diverted myself whilst having major spinal surgery. To take my mind off it, I dreamed up what I thought I might like to do or see or whatever. Again, no one in this, save Andy the pilot, is based on a real person. The places named are real as are anything that would naturally be where you might find it. Like Rosie, the barn cat. I hope you're enjoying it as much as I'm enjoying writing it and, candidly tossed in some sex that got me going. Perhaps it will do the same for you. 

Anyone have suggestions as to what to do with 81 large medical staples that are holding my back together, I'd be interested to hear what's on your mind. I am definitely going to keep them and make something...? from them.

Thanks to all my faithful readers.

PJ