Texas Rain

The Texas rain was relentless; the wind blew it onto the porch, and I backed away. It reminded me of the week before Thanksgiving during my senior year.

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I was trapped in a crowd of students who had rapidly gathered under the covered door to the Moody building. The rain was blowing in, and we were all getting soaked. Too many students in too small an area pushed against doors that open outward. I couldn’t move. A lightning bolt forced the group more tightly against the closed door.

When the rain finally slowed, I elbowed my way out, and I ran to the Student Union to get my mail before heading back to the dorm.

In the box were a piece of junk mail and my bank statement. I think I smiled every time a saw that return address, First Bank, Vermillion, Ohio. I’d never been to Vermillion, but Tyler’s mother had grown up there. His father had said that anyone who helped Tyler would be disowned. His mother, in her infinite wisdom, had helped me. When Tyler and I had returned after that trip to France three years ago, we looked at our resources and determined we could make it through the spring semester, at least most of the spring semester. We were two hundred forty dollars short for May. We figured we had time to deal with that. We were uncertain about the future--the financial future--beyond that. My scholarship paid for all four years, including room and board. Somehow, we would get the money to pay for Tyler’s.

On the day after New Year’s Day, a special courier delivered bank papers to me. An account had been set up by one Cindy Binger, Tyler’s mother’s maiden name, for one Darwin Hill. Enough money was in the account to take care of Tyler’s entire educational career. Since the money was in my name, she wasn’t helping Tyler directly. We celebrated with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They were part of our new austerity program for times the cafeteria wasn’t open. We maintained that program for the duration. Our only “eat-out” meal was the anniversary celebration at the Chinese Restaurant. I think we both enjoyed thinking of ways to save money and actually implementing it.

I stuffed the mail in my backpack. How the time had flown by! We had just finished midterms; we were both looking forward to graduation. Our last Christmas break was around the corner. I’d saved some money for the next Spring Break. I knew we would have to determine a new place to live when Tyler started medical school. I just hoped we would know where we’d be going.

I had just opened the door to the dorm when Tyler came toward me, waving a piece of paper in my face. I could tell he was angry.

“What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean, what’s wrong?” His tone was accusatory. “I got a letter from father today.”

“And?” I was afraid to say anything else. Tyler seemed really upset.

“He wants to know why I didn’t respond to his first letter. He says you signed for the first letter.”

“I don’t know anything about a letter from your father,” I replied honestly. “I know that both you and I have received letters from your brother, and I know that your mother sends you letters but addresses them to me.”

Tyler glared at me. “I don’t believe you. He sent me a copy where you signed for it.” He shoved a sheet in front of my face.

“I did not sign for a letter from your father. If I had, I would have told you. And, I would have given you the letter.”

“Then explain this!”

I remained silent, standing still in front of him.

“You can’t, can you. Can’t think up a lie fast enough, huh? Everything he said about you is true, isn’t it? You’re playing me.”

“Tyler, you cannot believe that.” An actual physical pain tore through my chest. I felt weak and dizzy.

Tyler stepped toward me and pushed me. “I’m getting out of here. I’ll send for my stuff.” With that, he was out the door and gone.

My lower lip began to quiver, and tears filled my eyes and began to run down my face. Our suite-mate Ryan came into the room.

“Darwin, what happened? Are you OK?”

I shook my head. “He thinks I lied to him.”

Ryan put his hand on my shoulder. “He’s too smart to think that for very long.”

“Thanks, Ryan.” I turned went to our bed, Tyler’s and my bed, and I curled up in it alone. I cried for the rest of the evening; I cried myself to sleep.

Tyler wasn’t there in the morning. I didn’t know what to do, so I texted Scott, Tyler’s brother. Scott was a voice of reason for Tyler where his father was concerned. I told him what I knew. I did my best not to make Tyler look like a raving lunatic. Whatever his father had told him, it must have punched his inner soul. I knew that Tyler wanted his father’s approval. Tyler wouldn’t admit it, but he did not always think rationally when it came to his father. That man was manipulating Tyler, and Tyler was easy prey for him.

I thought our love was stronger than his need for his father’s approval. Was I wrong?

I spend the next four days alone and lost. No beating from my grandmother could even compare with the pain. Part of me had been ripped away. I kept going to class, but I have no idea what was said. My professors told me they were worried about me, and I lied and told them I had a noncontagious disease that had zapped my strength. Each day apart increased my doubts that Tyler would come back.

School closed for Thanksgiving on Tuesday at noon. I didn’t want to go back to my empty room. I considered hitchhiking back to my grandmother’s house. Maybe she would beat me to death, and I wouldn’t have to think about anything anymore. I knew instantly that I was thinking nonsense. Making me doubt was probably part of Richard Morgan’s plan.

I was not going to let him win. I couldn’t let him win. Our love was stronger than any shit he could pull. I started back to the dorm with a new determination in my heart. Tyler was mine. If that asshole father of his didn’t want to share him, then he was the one who would be alone in the end.

The campus had cleared out, and I saw no one on my walk. As I turned the corner to the stairs, I saw Tyler sitting on the bottom step. For a moment, terror filled me. He’d come back for his stuff but didn’t have a key. A weight had fallen on me, and my chest was being crushed.

Tyler stood up, and I saw tears in his eyes. He ran to me. “I’m an idiot. Please forgive me. I don’t know how I could have been so stupid.”

The tears told me everything; they were tears of contrition. I grabbed him and held him tightly. My tears were those of joy. I didn’t want to let him go.

“My dad lied to me. I’m so stupid. I believed him over you. I don’t deserve you. I was so miserable without you.”

“I knew you’d realize that I wasn’t lying, but I was so scared you wouldn’t come back.” I began kissing him.

“My brother set me straight. When I realized what I had done, I told him I was coming straight back to you, but I was scared you’d beat the shit out of me. I know I deserve it.”

“Never.”

“No. I want you to. Scott told me that if you didn’t beat the shit out of me, he was going to. And he’s much stronger than you.”

I smiled. I realized my pain had stopped. My Tyler was back. Did his father’s dirty deed damage him? Probably. But I’d be there to help him heal.

That night, our foreplay was the gentlest it’s ever been. Maybe it was our way of helping us mend. Outside interference can damage a relationship; we promised not to let Richard Morgan pull us apart. I had kissed every inch of Tyler’s body, and he began to move into missionary position under me. He had let me know it was his favorite part of our lovemaking. This time, I stopped him.

“I need you to fill me.” I rubbed lube on his dick and into my ass crack. I moved under him, adjusted my legs, and wrapped my fingers around his cock. He put more lube on my ass and began to finger me. I saw his desire to show me his love. His eyes made love to me, his lips made love to me, his fingers were making love to me, and then his rigid penis made love to me. I felt it stretch my hole and move against my prostate. I gasped, and Tyler pulled back. Then he pushed himself inside me more deeply. The angle of his body and the level of his gentleness brought me to new levels of physical pleasure.

“I love you,” he said as his ball sack bounced against me. I pulled my knees even closer to my chest. Tyler moaned a low guttural growl that sent shivers through me. He quickly followed with two full, deep thrusts. The second was followed by a wonderful new sensation as he filled me with his seed. He collapsed on me. I interlaced our fingers.

“I love you, Tyler.” He nuzzled his face on my chest. Life was perfect again.

Tyler mumbled, “Love you” to me, but with his face pressed against my chest, I felt a deep rumble-like ticking in my chest. I tried to suppress a giggle. But then, liquified ejaculate began to trickle out my ass. It tickled as is dripped down through my hairy surrounding my anus. This time, I giggled.

“What the hell, Darwin? This is a totally serious moment.” He propped himself up. He was trying not to laugh.

“I can’t help it. Your cum is leaking out of my butt, and it’s tickling me.”

“Yeah? Well, I don’t laugh when you cum dribbles out mine.”

“I bet you will now.” I grabbed the lube and reached for his ass.

“What are you doing?” demanded Tyler.

“I’m about to fuck your man-pussy,” I told him.

“My what?”

“Your man-hole, your mangina, your cornhole, your mentrance.” I couldn’t think fast enough to list any others.

Tyler was laughing so hard, he almost slipped off the bed. He grabbed me and pulled me up. “Let’s shower together,” then, looking at the sheets, he added, “your ass dribbled cum all over my clean sheets.”

“Let’s get in the shower. I want you to wash my man-cunt with your tongue.”

* * *

We spent a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas together. We camped out on the beach on Padre Island for Christmas. I read “A Paradise Called Texas” to Tyler. The part on the beach always made me sad, but it always made me realize how lucky I am. Tyler wept at that part, and that gave me an excuse to cuddle him (not that I needed an excuse).

Our last semester at Southwestern started. On one of our random walks, we realized how important the place was to our relationship, to our very happiness. That made it a bittersweet time, but we knew there was an exciting future ahead of us.

Tyler received an acceptance letter to the medical school on Galveston Island. We celebrated with some of his friends in the Science Society who were also receiving their letters. I was trying to figure out where we would live and what kind of jobs might be there for me. We drove down to Galveston for Spring Break and scoped out the place with a more serious eye.

Things were going very smoothly. There were no hiccoughs with any of our classes. There were no more research papers or projects.

One nice spring afternoon, I walked back to the dorm. As I opened the door, Tyler jumped up. I had a flashback to that day a week before Thanksgiving. “Look at this!” he was practically shouting. “It’s a letter from Harvard. It says I have a place in the class this fall. What am I going to do? I’ve already accepted at Galveston.”

“First of all, you’re not going to panic.” I pushed him back into the room and closed the door. “Next, you’re going to take some nice deep breaths.”

Tyler sat down and exaggerated breathing deeply.

“Third, you’re going to think about which of these two places you really want to go.” I sat in the chair facing his.

“Well, I want to go to Harvard, of course.” He looked at me, and the smile drained from his face. “You don’t want to live in Boston, do you?”

“Harvard’s in Cambridge,” I reminded him.

“Fuck! You don’t want to go.”

I rarely heard Tyler use that word. I knew it was time to be clear about my feelings. “Babe, look at me.” He raised his head. I’m willing to go where it’s best for you. If you asked me to pick between Galveston and Boston,”

“It’s Cambridge,” he interrupted and then smiled.

“If you asked me to pick between Cambridge and Galveston as a place to live, I’d have to draw a name out of a hat. But it’s not about me. I’m going to go where you go. The most important thing for me is that I’m with you. I don’t care where that is.”

“I thought you’d be happier in Texas.”

“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been because you are here.” I bent forward and touched my forehead to his. “If I find out that Cambridge is not where I want to spend the rest of my life, then I’ll let you know. But we’re still going to have your residency after medical school. Who knows where that will take us.”

His eyes spoke to me. “I love you,” they said.

“I know,” I whispered. “Now, you’re going to need to compose a letter to Harvard, unless it says you need to call.”

“Thank you.”

I kissed the top of his head and stood up. “Do you want me to start looking for housing?”

“Yeah. Would you take care of that?”

“Of course. There are probably more job opportunities there for me as well.”

“Wait, Win. With regards to your job, I thought you were going to be my official love slave and cook for the next four years.”

“And I’m giving you an old wood dildo with lots of splinters for graduation.” I said it with as much seriousness as I could muster. “That way, you can go fuck yourself with it whenever you get horny because I’ll be out whoring.”

Tyler smiled and grabbed me. “Oh, baby. Talk dirty to me more often. You’re making me hard.”

“Get your homework done and write that letter. Tonight is taco night in the cafeteria. You know how tacos make me horny. You might get lucky later if all your work is done.” I grabbed the French novel I was reading and went into the bedroom. At dinner, I stuffed my face with tacos. After dinner, my boyfriend stuffed his face with my dick.

* * *

The car was loaded with our few possessions. Tyler had his Bachelor of Science, and I had mine. College was over, and we were heading for Massachusetts. We’d made love in our room for the last time that morning. We said good-bye to everyone and headed to the car.

We were dressed like tourists. We had several stops planned on the way to our final destination. Our first stop was Joplin, Missouri, an eight-hour drive unless traffic slowed us. I felt a little sad leaving Texas behind. It had been my home for twenty-two years. Traffic was light, and we were almost to Dallas when Tyler said he wanted to make a pitstop.

“Empty the bladder and fill up the tank,” is how he put it. We were getting off at the next exit.

We neared an overpass, and at the last second, I saw the truck seem to fly off the bridge in front of us. It seemed surreal as it crashed down in our lane. I don’t remember even having time to scream; although, I was told you can clearly hear the scream “No” on the dashcam recording. I remember the horrific noise of metal ripping, and when I looked over, Tyler’s half of the car was gone. I tried to get up to get him, but I couldn’t move. I tried to yell his name, but no sound came out. Then the sky seemed to get brighter and brighter.

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The bright lights of the headlights of the Trans-Am mixed with my tears. The whole world was a blur.