Texas Rain

The Texas rain was relentless; it pounded against the metal roof of my grandmother’s home. Actually, it was my home now, and it was a stretch calling that mean woman my grandmother. She strove to make my life miserable every day that I lived with her, reminding me that I had ruined her life. She told me that it was my fault that my mother was in jail. I realize now that it wasn’t. But I was just a kid then.

The feet of the chair scratched against the wood floor as I pulled it out to sit at the dinner table. I sat and gazed out the window. The dark afternoon sky, occasionally interrupted by lightning, reminded me of the day I left this town. I was eighteen, and we were having an unusually wet June. It was the best and worst day of my life.

I had been awake for a while when the hail started. Beating down on the metal roof like rocks, the marble-sized ice pellets made the old lady curse the skies. I rolled out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. With the door closed and the shower running, I could barely hear her. I dried quickly and pulled my clothes on as fast as I could. I grabbed my backpack from my room and headed to the back porch. My shoes were under the chair where I’d left them. I shook them to make sure no spiders or scorpions had tried to make a home during the night. I could tie my shoes faster than anyone I knew. The years of racing out of that house each morning had trained me well.

The rain was still lightly falling, and the hail had stopped. The wind was whipping the trees around, and I had not quite finished with my second shoe when I heard tires against the gravel of the driveway. An old black Trans-Am pulled into my view. My good friend Chad was about to save me from a day in wet clothes. I ran to the car and jumped into the passenger seat. I was greeted by Chad’s big friendly smile.

“I thought you could use a ride to school.” He grinned even wider.

“Always thinking, aren’t you.” I stared into those beautiful green eyes.

“Can’t help it. I’ve gotta look out for you. You seem to have trouble doing it for yourself.”

I turned away, and he backed the car out onto the road. He did always look out for me. My first day at school back in third grade was made easier because Chad befriended me. When no one wanted anything to do with me because my grandmother was the town bitch, Chad made sure I had at least one friend. When I was in pain because of the beatings I endured at the hands of that woman, Chad was there to remind me that it wouldn’t last forever. He’s the one, after witnessing her hit me, who told her in no uncertain terms that he would report her to the sheriff if I was ever touched again.

Chad was the reason I went on living each day, but I was afraid to tell him. How do you risk a lifetime of great friendship for a lifetime of an even better friendship when the downside is being left with nothing?

“I bet field day has been cancelled,” Chad muttered.

“What if we skipped school and spent the day making out in the old Peterson farmhouse?” I sighed.

“You mean, just the two of us?” Chad’s voice squeaked.

“Huh?” What was Chad talking about? I’d been daydreaming. What did I miss?

Chad looked at me and poked me with his finger. “You just said we should go to the old Peterson place and make out.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. I’d been fantasizing, wishing I could tell Chad how I felt. I couldn’t have said that out loud. But I had.

“Well?”

I looked over at Chad. He was looking straight ahead now. “I just thought,” I mumbled, “that it was raining, and, uh…” I let my voice trail off. I looked down at the floorboard. I felt the urge to cry well up within me. I had visions of the whole school knowing that I wanted to have sex with my best friend. How would they react? I knew I would be shunned, but what else would they do to me? “Maybe you should stop the car.”

“But we’re not there yet, Dar.” He’d always called me Dar; except for the time we had an argument about something. I’d made him really mad, and he’d called me Darwin. Maybe he wasn’t mad. I looked down the road and saw the turn off to the Peterson place come into view. The car slowed and turned onto the gravel road. I remained silent.

Chad didn’t say anything as he left the road and drove up the driveway. He pulled the car around to the back side of the barn. He turned the car off in silence and got out. He stood by my door and waited until I got out.

We stood next to one another; our eyes level. “You know,” he said. I haven’t been out here since my birthday.”

Confused for a second, I looked down at the ground. “But, we were in school that day, and then we hung out until your birthday party.”

“After the party. I came out here with Diana. She’d promised me a blowjob for my eighteenth birthday.”

“You never told me that.” I looked back at him.

“You’re right. I didn’t, but I guess there are things you haven’t told me.” Chad slid his hands into his pockets. “Anyway, she backed out. She said I disrespected her by bringing her here. That’s why we broke up.”

“She told me it’s because you didn’t want her to go to Texas Tech.” The rain had now soaked through my shirt and pants.

“Do you want to go inside?” Chad pointed toward the house.

“Yeah,” I nodded. I followed the stone path to the back door. Chad moved one of the ornate rocks that lined the ledge next to house and brought up a key. He unlocked the door and we slipped inside. A dry, musty odor invaded my nostrils, and a strange dimness surrounded us in the windowless mudroom. “Do your parents know that you come here from time to time?”

“They know. They reminded me to keep the door locked when they first bought the place. I guess they knew that I’d come here from time to time.” Chad stepped closer to me and made direct eye contact again. “I think you’re evading.”

“You’re right,” I nodded. “Our clothes are dripping on the floor.” I smiled.

“Dar, you suggested we come here. If I had any balls, I would’ve suggested it.”

That surprised me.

“Years ago.”

I felt my eyes get moist as I lifted my hand and placed it on the side of Chad’s head. I would have run my fingers through his hair, but it was matted against his head and dripping water onto the floor. I pulled him closer to me, and our foreheads touched. “I love you, Chadwick Eugene Brown.” I brushed my lips against his, and he moaned softly.

“Let’s go in the kitchen and put our clothes in the sink.” He took me by the hand into the next room, and we stripped naked. As we put our clothing into the big farm sized sink, I kept glancing over at Chad’s body. Chad bent over to remove his socks, and I noticed his eyes take a second look at my now hard penis. “That’s one big boner.” He reached his hand over and wrapped his thumb and index finger around it as if to measure it. “I guess it’s about the same as mine; it looked really big from this angle. I’m not used to looking at anyone else’s dick.”

Chad glanced around the kitchen as though he were unsure of what to do next.

“Do have a blanket we can snuggle under?” I suggested.

“Yeah. The bed’s still got clean sheets and a blanket from, you know, before. We can go in there. We just need to check it for scorpions, you know.”

“Of course,” I replied. “Let’s go.” I followed him down a dark hallway and into a bedroom with yellow wallpaper. The blinds and curtains, with the cloudiness outside, yielded a gloomy room. Chad circled to the other side of the bed, and together we pulled the sheets up and checked them for invertebrates. None were found, and we both stood on opposite sides of the bed and stared at the pattern on the blanket.

“It’ll be warmer in here,” I finally said as I moved under the sheet. “Come in here with me.” Chad suddenly seemed shy and withdrawn. I worried that he was changing his mind, but he pulled the covers up and got under the sheet. He wiggled himself toward me until I was spooning him. His body was cold, and he shivered. I maneuvered my left arm under the pillow and felt the muscles of his left arm. I could tell that my heartbeat quickened.

I reached my right arm under Chad’s and around his chest and pulled him tightly to me. His breathing was short and rapid. I kissed his shoulder and whispered, “It’s ok.” His butt moved and ground against me, and my cock slipped between his ass cheeks.

“Just hold me.” His voice seemed gravelly and barely audible.

I kissed his shoulder again. “Tell me what you need. I’m here for you.” I applied pressure to his chest as if it would move us even closer together, but no gap remained between us. I was surprised at how good it felt just being next to him. I could tell that my pillow was getting damp as our hair dried. Without moving my head, I looked at the dimly lit wallpaper and studied the pattern. My penis returned to its flaccid state.

Chad’s breathing slowed, and he placed his right hand over mine. Our fingers interlaced, and I had the sensation of floating. I was in a good place and happy that I had inadvertently let slip that I wanted to be with him.

Chad began to wiggle again. He positioned his body so that we faced one another. He stared into my eyes without speaking. He seemed to be studying me. I searched deep within his eyes; his pupils were huge, and he seemed sexier that I ever remember his being. He slowly moved his head closer and tilted his head to the left as his left hand moved to my shoulder. Our lips barely touched.

I leaned back just a few degrees and moved my hand down to his butt and pulled him up ever so slightly. Our lips touched again, and I moved my hand to the back of his head and kissed him harder. I felt the tip of his tongue run over the top of my lower lip, and my dick thickened. I opened my mouth and our tongues seemed to dance together as our lips pressed in a pulsating rhythm.

Suddenly, I flipped Chad onto this back. I allowed the entire weight of my chest and abdomen to push him into the bed, and I covered his mouth with mine. I pulled his tongue into my mouth and ran the tip of mine back and forth as I sucked even harder. I let go and the release of his tongue accompanied a slight popping sound. Next, I tickled his jawline with my tongue. He moaned, and his dick, which lay trapped between us hardened rapidly. My cock got harder in response.

I moved down to his nipples and kissed them. I moved to his navel and moved my tongue around its outer edge. I had never sucked a dick before, but I knew that’s where I was headed.

“Dar.” He said my name so softly. I looked up at him. Even in the dimness of the room, his eyes seemed to glisten.

“Yes, baby.”

He smiled. “I know that I let everyone think that I’ve … um … I’ve never had sex before, not even a blowjob. You’re the first.”

Knowing that made me feel good. I would be his first, hopefully his only. I bent down and kissed the head of his penis. It stiffened and lifted up from abdomen. I kissed it again and then put my mouth around the head. I read enough about blowjobs to know that I needed to make sure my teeth stayed out of the way. I moved my lips up and down the shaft and made sure I didn’t go too far. I didn’t want to gag and spoil the moment. Chad’s teeth were clenched, and I heard moaning and an occasional “yeah”. At one point he grabbed my head as if to slow me down. I stopped moving my head, but I continued the suction and rubbing my tongue up and down his shaft. He grabbed the sheets within his two fists and made a sound I had never heard. His stomach tightened as if he were doing a crunch, and his dick jerked inside my mouth. A stream of cum filled my mouth with incredible force. I kept my lips sealed tightly around his cock and allowed it to slide gently out. I kept the ejaculate in my mouth. It was saltier than I expected because it was saltier than mine, but I still savored the taste of it.

This was a part of Chad, and as I swallowed it, I knew that it was a part of Chad that I would keep with me. My body would use this part of him to make new cells in me. This was the highest level of togetherness. While we would join together, his penis inside me as just now happened, that intimacy was ephemeral.

I lay next to Chad, and he kissed me.

“I always thought that it tasted a little salty,” he smiled. He rested his head on my shoulder. “I didn’t know that it could feel that good, feel that amazing.” His hand massaged my smooth belly and then rubbed across my right nipple. He tickled my left one with his tongue.

Chad pushed me by my shoulders and kissed me as he moved his body on top of mine. The weight of him felt good. I moved my knees apart, and he moved naturally between my thighs. His hips made little thrusting motions as my tongue explored his mouth. I felt his dick get hard again, and I knew I wanted him inside me. I’d played with my ass in the shower, and I knew how good it felt moving my fingers in and out of it. It had to feel even better with a penis, especially when it’s the penis of someone you love.

The friction from Chad’s body caused my dick to get harder. He moved down and licked my shaft, then pulled up on my knees. I instinctively grabbed them and pulled in such a way to give him a view of my asshole. I saw him apply saliva to his fingers before he began to massage the sphincter. The pleasurable sense resulted in my feeling of lightheadedness. I gasped as he slipped a finger inside me. The strangest sensation overwhelmed me as he used multiple digits to enlarge my aperture. Before long, he pushed my hips closer to the bed and pressed the head of his dick against my ass. I felt the pressure build and release as his cock popped inside me.

Once his dick was inside, Chad stopped pushing. I felt it throbbing inside me. The pulse was slower than that of a heartbeat. I knew he was doing it intentionally. I moved my legs so that my ankles were crossing behind his lower back. Chad leaned forward. I had the urge to kiss him at the same time I wanted to pull him deeper within me. He gently grabbed my nipples, and I used my legs to drive his hips closer.

His dick plunged more deeply inside, and I exclaimed, “Yes.”

A wonderfully sexy smile formed on Chad’s face. He leaned forward and kissed me. I grabbed his head and held his lips to mine. His hip thrusts pushed his cock inside and pulled it almost all the way out before shoving it back it. I began to move my hips up in response. My dick was hard and rubbing against Chad. Chad’s dick was in my man hole rubbing against places that drove me nearly insane with pleasure.

I became aware of my dick’s increasing hardness, almost to the point of pain when a wave of incredible pleasure swept through me. I came so hard that the stream hit the bottom of my chin. My chest was covered in it. I clamped down on the penis in my ass, and Chad unloaded inside me. The pressure inside was a good feeling, but as Chad pulled out, a stream of cum covered his inner thighs.

A laugh from Chad told me he enjoyed this as much as I did. “What a mess!” he exclaimed. “You’re not going to like what I have to tell you.”

I raised my eyebrows. “What?”

“There’s no hot water; there’s no electricity here, but there is running water. We can take a shower, but it will me cold.”

“Our clothes are probably still wet, too.”

“Tell you what, Dar. You take care of the clothes; I’ll pull these sheets open so they dry. I can take them home and wash them. Then I’ll get the water in the shower running.”

“Are there towels to dry off?”

“Yeah.”

“We can snuggle some more while we wait for the clothes to dry.”

“Get started.” It was more like an order than a request, but I went into the kitchen covered in drying cum and laid our clothes out to dry. The window to the kitchen allowed me to see that it was still raining outside. I heard the water in the bathroom. “Are you ready?”

“Just finishing,” I hollered back as I jaunted to the sound of the water. I wasn’t looking forward to this. “I want to suds up first and then get in the shower.”

“That sounds like a good plan.” Chad handed me a bar of soap; he had his own. We lathered it in the water stream and quickly scrubbed the dried cum from our bodies. I finished first, so I got into the tub. The cold water was painful. I rinsed and was out faster than I thought was possible. Chad got in next. “Fuck it all to hell; that’s cold.” Chad rarely cursed, so I knew he enjoyed the cold shower as much as I did. When he got out, I helped him dry off.

“Back to the bedroom, my boy. I put clean sheets on the bed.” He ran to the room and was already under the covers when I got to the room. I snuggled up next to him, but he was as cold as I was. I wished we had thought to have wood for the fireplace.

Chad turned so that I was spooning him again. I pulled him close. “Do you want to know what it’s like to have my dick inside you?”

“No. I’m good. You pretty much satisfied my curiosity.”

“What?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He had to be pulling my leg. He had to have feelings for me.

“You know. Two horny guys helping each other out. I’m sure that was a really good blowjob, you know, even though I’ve never had one.”

I pulled away and sat at the edge of the bed.

“What’s the matter, Dar? You liked it, too. I could tell.”

“Yeah, I think we should go.” My head started to throb. I just gave myself to my best friend. I thought he had feelings for me, but he didn’t.

“Did I disappoint you, Dar? Talk to me, dude. Shit, are you realizing now you wanted your first fuck to be with a girl?”

“I don’t know, Chad.” I walked into the kitchen and put on my clothes. They were still damp, but I didn’t care. Chad followed me and put his on as well. I walked outside; it was still raining. I walk to the car. When I got there, Chad grabbed my arm.

“Come on, Dar. Talk to me. You’re making me feel weird. We were just having fun, right?”

My eyes were blurry. I’ve blamed it on the rain, but I think that I had started crying. “No. It wasn’t for fun; it’s because I love you. Because I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for years. I was afraid to tell you because I was afraid you leave me, not want to be friends with me anymore. I was afraid people would find out and hate me more than they do now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? About what?”

“I was curious, and I was horny. I thought you were, too. I love you, Dar. But it’s like we’re brothers, not lovers. I want to get married and have kids. Even though you’ve never talked about getting married and having some, I thought you wanted the same thing.”

I looked at Chad. All those times I had convinced myself that he felt the same way I did couldn’t have been wrong, could they? Maybe there was a reason that I was afraid to tell him. “I thought I was making love to you, and you were just sticking your dick in a hole.”

“We’re friends, Darwin. It’s more complicated than that. Let’s go get something to eat and talk about it some more. We can even come back here if you want. We can get back in bed. I’ll let you fuck me this time.”

I shook my head. I couldn’t believe what he was saying. “No. You go to town and get something to eat. I need to be alone for a bit.” I opened the car door and took my backpack. “I’m going to sit in the barn.” Chad stepped closer to me and move as if he were about to give me a bro-hug. I put my hand out to stop him.

“I’ll be back with some food.”

I turned and walked to the barn. He got in his car and left, and I realized, as I watched the car pull away, that he saw us as buddies. In his mind, we were just two close friends who had sex. No guilt. No shame. That’s not what I wanted, and I knew that if I stayed, he would ask me to do it again. And I knew that because I loved him, I would. I wanted someone who thought about me the way I thought about him.

I stepped out into the rain. I wasn’t going to find that here; it was somewhere out there, and I needed to search for it. I began walking, and I walked for years. 

Who knew that day that my journey would bring me back to my grandmother’s house? I stepped out onto the porch and looked into the rain. The sound of tires on gravel caught my attention, and I saw an old black Trans-Am come into view.