Remembering

Funny, and sad too, at how hearing of a tragedy, of finding out someone you cared for, knew, had been hurt, could change your whole life. From the instant that Trent had learned of Rob's injuries, of his wounds, how his whole life suddenly became less complicated, yet more involved. He never thought that anything could alter his path, could stand in the way of his dreams.

Yet here he was, nearing the twilight of his career, his goal well in sight, yet that was all tossed away, the instant he had heard the name listed on a causality list. He shouldn't have been, he should have been used to it. After all, being a Soldier, you know that death of those you knew, wounds to those you shared a beer with, shared your soul with, was very possible. You didn't dwell on it, but you knew each time you went out with your comrades, that there could be times when they wouldn't be there to join you, that they had fallen.

So why did learning about Rob change all that?

Okay sure, they had known each other since childhood, but he had seen brothers join up, one get wounded, and it didn't effect them half as much as this did. It wasn't logical, wasn't rationale, or maybe it was? Maybe he had closed himself off for too long? Had he really not known, or had he just lied to himself, along with everyone else?

Clasping Rob's hand into his own, he stared off into space remembering how it had felt that night. How he had tasted his first jizz, yet how it made him only want more. It was like he had been set free, from some sort of cage that he had been ignoring. Now once more, he was being set free, and like then, it was Rob who was giving him his freedom.

Bit ironical that, as here he was a soldier whose job it was to defend freedom, to protect the rights of his fellow citizens, but he hadn't been able to protect his own rights, his own freedoms. Somehow he knew that things moved the way they did, for some reason, he just wished he could know what it was for, what it all meant.

Looking down, seeing the sparkle in Rob's eyes, seeing how his face was a bit more relaxed, he knew that he too was remembering, that he too was back at that campsite. Strange how the mind could block things, then suddenly wham, the whole blocked things were right there. It was almost as if he could reach out, to touch the young men in the memory flashback. It was like he was some voyeur, lurking in the woods, watching it all unfold.

He felt the hitch in his heart, as he realized how much that night actually did mean to him. Not just that he had tasted his first cum, or had his first blow job, but at how Rob had never pushed it. It all was so natural, so unrehearsed. Like how he had been totally spent, exhausted to a point he had never felt before.

The way his eyes had closed, the cum still on his lips, still sticking to his chin. Yet he had fallen asleep, and it had been a deep sleep too. How long he never knew, but he could see it now, see himself feeling something, while he was asleep. Not someone touching him, but sort of a sense, that he wasn't alone, that his time for rest was over.

It had been odd, to suddenly open your eyes, and be staring up the open stars. Their tent had one of those mesh tops, that when open, let the stars shine inside. How beautiful they had looked too, and how he had snuggled down a bit, just staring up at the wonder of Mother Nature. The way some would glimmer, others just shine. It made him sigh, and it also made him realize he wasn't alone, or the only one awake.

Turning his head to one side, there he was. Rob was propped up on one elbow, just looking at him. Like he was now, he noticed. It had given him goose bumps then, did now too, as he saw something odd in those eyes. It wasn't fear, wasn't rejection, but was something soft looking, almost warming really.

Trent could feel it now, as his eyes glanced over at Rob. It was the same now, as then. He felt his presence inside, felt his inner most thoughts, as he had then. Only thing was, then he didn't understand them, now he seemed to get their meaning, get their message.

He could taste his friend's cum still, and it made his body tingle. Trent felt the nerves inside, felt his muscles stretching and tightening, as he stared back at Rob's face. The way the eyes peered at him, with such tenderness, such desire, made him grin, then and now. It was like somehow, all that happened earlier was just a prelude, a test. And he had pasted the test, or so it felt.

Rob's hand came out, and rested lightly on his arm. How the eyes seemed to come alive, even more, as the hand moved up, and the back of it just ran across his cheek, lightly caressing him. How good it had felt too, as he had leaned over, to kiss it, as it moved along the side of his face.

How that little peck, seemed to bring his whole body to life. How the sleep was suddenly gone from his eyes, from his entire body. It was like a switch being turned on, as he lifted himself up, onto one arm, like Rob. How he too reached out, to run his hand over the soft gentle face next to him. Damn it had made him quiver, just as the idea did now. He felt the tremors inside, as his hand moved lightly over Rob's face, down his bare chest, to curl with some of his body hairs. To touch them, to feel them wind around his fingers.

His eyes roamed over Rob's body too, just as his hand did. He could see the way the chest heaved a bit, to his touch. How good that sight made him feel, knowing his own chest was doing the same. It was like they were in perfect sync, at how his eyes moved down, still amazed at the beauty of being next to Rob's naked body.

The way his eyes had widened when they stared at Rob's crotch, seeing his fully aroused cock. He hadn't expected that, not after all they had already done, but there it was, once more filled with blood, gorged to the point of looking like it would explode. How he felt too, he remembered. It was as if seeing that hard cock validated everything about him. It had made him feel like this wasn't some pity date, some obligation, but was being done out of desire, out of Rob's own need to be with him.

It made him feel special, in a way he had never experienced before, yet he knew it was a way he wished he could always feel. To see the veins pulsing, to see the cock head fully gorged with blood, only made his own body tingle more. A quick glance down told him that he too was fully erect, again a surprise for him.

As the scene passed before his eyes, he could feel the change in his heart, the change in his breathing as they lay there, touching each other. How he felt the ache in his chest, as the hand moved down, towards his erect penis. How good it felt to have him touch him, again. How Rob was reacting the same way, to his touch.

Trent could feel every tingle, every shiver that raced up his spine then. He could fell it all over again, as his eyes fluttered, as his breathing became softer, his chest aching all over again. His stomach rumbled, the cheeks clenched tighter, as his mind flashed it all before him again. It was in living color, which made him smile as he thought about it.

To see the soft shadows of darkness, as the lantern flickered in the tent. As the stars shone down from above, all were recorded, replayed as they had been first witnessed. How Rob had moved closer, his own body shuffling closer, until they were skin to skin. How hot it all felt, how sticky and exciting too.

He remembered it all, how his body leaned into Rob's, how Rob leaned back, how his hand moved over his side, to grasp at his back. The way the fingers moved up his spine, then down to just above his ass. How they lay there, hesitant, then slowly how the whole hand moved down, to grab hold of his firm cheeks, and pull Trent into his body even closer.

Trent sighed, as he felt that squeeze, the pressure of Rob's hand on his cheek, of his cock pressing into Rob's thigh, of how it felt to feel Rob's own hard dick poking at his belly. It was all there again, as his eyes fluttered, as the beat beside his heart began to pound, began to increase its tempo.

How his blood flowed that night, how his head was so light headed, yet it hadn't missed a single instant of action. Nothing was left out, as he leaned back in the cold metal chair. Trent was feeling it all again, as his body relaxed, as he watched the two young bodies pushing and being pulled by the other. Damn it had been so hot, so arousing.

He could see how Rob began to push more, to lean harder against him, giving a sense of urgency. God it had felt good then, and now too. His whole body quivered, as he recalled how Rob pushed, then slowly gained the upper hand. His firm young body now nestled nearly on top of Trent, and suddenly it all grew quiet.

The night noises seemed muted, distant, and even the sound of the river passing by seemed hushed. His eyes saw the looming face, and Rob's eyes peering down into his. He could see them flash, seem them widen, as they just looked deep into his own.

He had felt that thrill then, how suddenly every nerve inside his body was screaming for more, was begging even. He could feel it again, feel the moisture near his hole, feel the dripping of his cock, as his pre cum oozed out. Every nerve, every muscle, seemed to be pleading with the soft eyes. It was as if Rob could read his body, read its desire long before Trent's own mind could.

Until now, he never realized how excited that moment had been. How hot his body had grown, as if it was near the melting point as Rob stared into Trent's face so many years ago. Looking down now, he saw those eyes, the pain gone for the moment. All he could see was what he had seen then, as his body quivered.

It was like he was being asked, all over again, and just like then, he was agreeing. It was odd, no one had really said a word, not before, not at any time, and yet it was like they had spoken volumes. He knew it would hurt, yet knew too, that Rob would not push beyond what he could handle. No words, just a simple understanding, heart to heart. He shivered now, as he remembered how his chest had heaved, as Rob had leaned over and fumbled with something over his head.

Then the hand came back down, and Trent could see the condom in his hand. How tiny it looked, how fragile too as he feared disease and illness more than ridicule. Yet looking at it in Rob's hand, he felt suddenly safe, suddenly at ease.

He knew little about them, how to put them on or anything, but he didn't have to as he watched Rob rip the package open in one single tear. It was held tightly between his teeth, as he ripped it open, and Trent stared at it, wondering what it would be like. Sure he had seen them, but not this way.

His buttocks seemed to be throbbing as his eyes stared wide eyed at the ripped open package. Had he damaged the thin plastic inside? How much would it hurt to have it going into his body, over Rob's cock? Worse, would it stay on, or would it stay inside?

All of those strange thoughts had come to him, back then. He smiled now, as did the man resting in the hospital bed. It had been the truth, back then. Yet thinking of it now, he felt a bit foolish, then realized it was nothing abnormal. It was how kids were, even if they were eighteen or not. Inexperience, always was filled with fears, with unjustified concerns.

Still back then, he had wondered as he watched Rob take the thin little disc out, to sort of show it off. In a way he had thought it reminded him of some Warrior, showing off his badges, before entering the ring of battle. Like a shield, being pounded with the hilt of a sword. Odd, that later on they would be real warriors, but then, then it was about their bodies needs.

Rob may have been the older of the two, certainly the more experienced, but you could still see the nervousness, the hesitancy in his face, as he slowly took the disc down, to place it over his cock. He had moved, to straddle Trent's shaking body, his cock sticking up just over Trent's belly. How his eyes had stared down his body, to that amazing sight.

His hand shook, as he placed the condom over the head of his cock, then once more his eyes were glancing upwards, staring deeply into Trent's. He could hear him asking, hear his mind calling to him, to make sure it was what he wanted. He could hear his own answering cries, strangled in fear, but defiant none the less.

The beat of his heart, the way his chest moved, all gave Rob his answer then, as it did now. Looking down at Rob this time, he saw a tear by his eye, rolling down the cheek, as he too remembered that glance, that final look before he unrolled the condom.

He saw how Rob moved down his body, to squat between his legs, and how he had pushed his legs apart. It was by instinct that he found his legs upraised, the flat of his feet against the warm insides of the sleeping bag. How his toes had curled into it, digging down past the bag, to take hold of the soft dirt beneath. How his knees looked, hitched upwards.

Trent remembered how he looked at his own knees, then across to Rob. How good he looked, squatting between them. How much Trent enjoyed seeing his head bent over, as he stared down at his crotch, unrolling the condom. It seemed like hours, but was only seconds. Yet he could remember seeing every inch disappear behind the opaque sheath that was unrolled down. How strange it looked, yet he could still see the bulging veins, still see them rise and fall as the blood was pushed through to keep Rob's cock hard and hot.

The way the end of the condom pinched at Rob's pubic hairs. At how so many were gathered around the unrolled end, had made him stare, then glance up into Rob's face. The tiny lock of hair that always fell over his face, was being pushed away, and he could stare without hindrance, into his friend's soul.

How that image had made him quiver, how it had made his cock jerk, as he felt himself spreading his legs even further apart. He wasn't sure what to do next, but he felt the firm press of Rob's hands on his thighs, and saw how he leaned backwards a bit.

His legs were suddenly being lifted upwards, and out of some unknown instinct, he was reaching for his ankles, to grab hold, and bring his legs further back. He felt the stretch of his muscles around his thighs, as he lifted the legs upwards, and as Rob's body moved inwards.

The way Rob's eyes widened, as they stared at his exposed buttocks. How they seemed to just sparkle, had made him groan, made his body ache in a way he had never felt before. How hard his cock felt, as Rob stared down at him, his own cock in one hand, as he leaned forward.

It truly was something special, though at the moment he hadn't realized just how special. The approving look he had gotten, the wonder in those eyes, all were there to be seen, but he had been lost in the moment. Not now, now he could see it all, even better than when it had all happened. Better, he could even feel it too, as Rob had stared at his open legs, at his exposed butt. How he licked his lips, as he stared down at his crack, at the warm pinkness of the insides.

He saw it all now, felt it too as his hand tightened around Rob's hand. There was some strength in Rob's grip, that hadn't been there before, and he looked down at his friend. It was like he had been, all those years ago. Full of life, uncaring of what the future held. How he had envied him them, and how he still envied him.

The way he looked so pleased at seeing Trent spread open, at how his eyes seemed to glaze over as he looked down between the cheeks. It was as if he could see inside, see where his dick would soon be. In a way he felt him already inside of him, the way his nerves and muscles felt. The way they seemed to quiver in anticipation of his coming.

The way his face screwed up, how the muscles inside seemed to tighten, as he leaned over, as he felt the hard muscle poking at his crack, at the fist that held it pushing up against his buttocks. Trent felt it all, again, as his mind kept the steady stream of details flowing. It was making� him feel hot, all over again, despite the air conditioning of the hospital room.

Trent could feel the sweat dripping down his backside, trickling down his pant leg, as he watched Rob move closer, felt his hot breath against his stomach, then over his face. He saw that rebellious lock of hair, falling again, but it only added to the moment's thrill. He could see his hand moving up, his leg muscles tightening to hold his leg up in the air, the press of Rob's shoulder helping.

How his hand touched the lock of hair, how Rob shuddered to that little touch, how his lips grew tighter, how his eyes seemed like a 4th of July fireworks display was going on in front of them. How it all seemed to work, to fit. The stupid fears were all banished, as if some hand had simply come along and wiped them away, with a simple flick of the wrist.

His whole body was on edge, a good nervousness, as he felt the press between his upraised cheeks. How the hot pole seemed to slide down the valley of his cheeks, to rest at last against his tight hole. Rob's face was above his own, his hand let go of the lock of hair, the back of it caressing the side of one facial cheek, feeling how flushed it was. He stared at the eyes, that looked down at him, and then he reached back to his ankle, grabbing hold of it, and trying to spread his legs even further. His buttocks moved up just a bit, the cock head suddenly was wedged tightly against the tiny muscles of his hole.

Trent could feel it now, feel the warmth, feel the love that surrounded him. He hadn't known what it was then, afraid to understand it, but he knew it now. He embraced it too, as he felt the press, felt the suddenly strength of his insides, as they resisted, but not from fear, but from wanting to make it last, to make it take longer.

He saw Rob biting his lower lip, saw how his eyes flashed, as the moment came. He could feel it now, feel the sharp pain as it raced into his body, as the thick head began to push aside the resistance from his muscles. How hard it hurt, how the pain had made him cry out. The way Rob stopped, the pain still rolling up and down his body, the cock head barely inside. He hurt, was biting his own lower lip, and he looked up into Rob's face.

There was no mistaking his concern, but his whole body seemed unwilling to give in, to accept that it couldn't handle the moment. It urged Rob on, screamed at him to enter inside, to let his whole body be impaled on his cock. His soul cried out, begging to be united with Rob's. He saw the eyes understand, saw the brow furl a bit, the nostrils flare as the pressure grew inside.

The cries were loud, his hands grew white at the knuckles as they held the ankles, as more of the cock head moved past his muscles. The pain felt like it would never end, that it would explode through his own head, but he held on, crying out for more, begging for Rob to penetrate him, all the way.

He felt the sudden release of his muscles, felt the sudden drive of the cock into his insides. He felt the soft lining inside stretch, as if it would shatter. The huge cock was inside, filling him up in a way he couldn't believe. So many strange feelings were raging inside. The pain still was rolling up and down his body, but so was the pure pleasure that came with the full penetration. His mind was torn, between the various senses.

Breathing in deeply, he smelled that scent, that aroma of male testosterone, that always made his head swoon. He could smell it now, ten times more powerful than ever before. It made him sweat, made every hair on his body seem to stand up on end. He cried out, with pure happiness, as Rob's cock filled his insides, as his smell assailed his nostrils, as Rob's sweat dropped into the rivers of his own.

Trent could feel it now, feel the way his insides were stretched as the pole slid deeper into his very being. He could feel it throb, feel it quiver as it slung free of the tiny muscles that feebly attempted to deny its presence. He could feel the thrill inside, as another man entered his body. It was nothing like he had imagined, dreamed of. It was more, so much more that he could only fathom it all now. Back then, it was too overwhelming.

He knew he had cried out, knew that his whole body had shook, knew that his very core had been shaken, as Rob filled him. He could still feel the rolling waves that overwhelmed every one of his senses. His body shook, as the huge pole stopped, reversed course, making him groan, making him clench his cheeks to try and stop the retreating pole. He thought he'd die if it left, and that was when once more it stopped. Near the point of final retreat, but it didn't. It held firm, gathered its strength, and came back with an even greater urgency, an even greater push.

No slow steady motion, it dove deep and hard, until he felt as if Rob's whole groin was about to penetrate his tiny little hole. He could feel the bristles of the pubic hairs, feel them scratching at the insides of his cheeks, tickling the soft flesh around his hole. He cried out, arching his body, trying to take him all the way in, failing.

Several quick thrusts, in and out, then it just all slowed down once more. His hands were numb, his legs too, as he felt Rob's weight keeping them in the air. His body was totally impaled on Rob's cock, that seemed to grow thicker with each thrust. Not for a second did he feel like his body wasn't being pushed to its limits. Each thrust in seemed to want to tear past his insides, to exit from his throat.

He could hear his panting breath, feel his cock jerking as it bounced from each driving blow into his body. His balls ached too, from the hard slap of Rob's stomach that crushed into him with each penetrating thrust. His eyes were blurred from the rivers of sweat that poured from every pore in his forehead. His arms ached, as if they were about to be wrenched from their socket, as Rob just pounded into his willing body.

As he relived that moment, he realized that then he had thought that Rob had pounded him for hours, though inside he knew it had to be minutes only. Now, he could count each thrust, and was surprised to realize how few thrusts it took, before Rob had pulled out, ripping the condom off his cock, and leaning up against him, his cock a blur, as Rob stroked his cock with a wild furry.

He could see his own eyes widen, staring at the blurry mass of flesh in the midst of Rob's fist, saw it suddenly grow still, saw the coming white stream from deep within the head. It was all there, before him once more, as Rob came, as his jizz was flying from the mottled purple head, that stuck out from between the clenched fist.

His insides were still enjoying the fullness that had been Rob's cock, now it was there, in front of his very eyes, its off white cream flying out in a steady stream. He could feel it striking his body, his chin even. He felt his own body tremble, felt it shake, as each drop landed.

There were many sounds, as he heard his own lungs screaming for air. As his body shuddered, he could hear Rob's cries, hear his cry of complete surrender, as his cum flowed like a raging river, to coat Trent's body. He could see it all, once more, as he felt each deep shudder rolling through his body.

But that was then, as he looked down at his friend. It was then, in a time long gone, but one he would never forget. His hand held Rob's, as he felt the pulse quicken, felt the draw of his eyes once more. He didn't want to look, as he knew it was Rob trying to say goodbye, but he wasn't ready for that. He knew it was coming, but as the eyes held him, as they were fixed to his downward hanging face, he knew he'd have to face it, to accept it.

Yet deep down inside, he didn't want to, didn't want the memories to end, just yet. There had been so much to that night, to that birthday present, that he wanted time to enjoy it, to relive it once more with the person who had given it to him. He had never thanked Rob, nor had they ever spoken about it, but it was part of their friendship, their bond.

With a heavy heart, he slowly allowed his head to lift up, to look at his weakened friend. He knew what he would see, but as his eyes finally lifted up, to look back, he felt the strange glow in his heart, felt a strange beat that was reminiscent of a time long ago. He felt the heaviness around his heart ease, as if someone was brushing it away, like so much dust.

Looking down at Rob, he saw the opened eyes, saw the thin pale lips that had once kissed him where no one had before. He could recall that touch, feel it now, as his friend smiled up at him. He could see he was trying to speak, and he leaned forward, still holding his hand.

Trent could see the lips moving, as he bent closer, to hear the raspy weakened voice, to hear a soft crackling sound, as Rob spoke to him.

'You give up too easy, we got more memories to make.'

His heart held steady, as he listened to the voice, as he heard the door to the room being flung opened. He saw the eyes and knew that the words were the truth. His body shook, as he leaned forward, letting go of the hand, to let it rest on the side of the pale face.

He looked down at him, his face tilted to one side. Trent could hear the huffing of a very angry man coming closer, but he didn't care anymore. For the first time, he felt like he was his own man, free as a bird. He leaned closer, and lightly brushed his lips across those of his friend. He could hear the sudden gasp, the sudden stop of the rushing man that had burst into the room. Trent could hear it all, but inside, he could only hear his friend, hear his heart beating strong, next to his own.

Looking deep into Rob's eyes, he spoke to him, hearing his answer, feeling his courage holding him steady, as he stood up from the metal chair, to turn and face his past. He felt so light, so free, that it was rather amazing, making him wonder why he hadn't done this a long time ago. Of course he knew the answer to that, but at least it wasn't too late.

As he turned fully, he let his hand fall to his side, to reach for Rob's. He felt the fingers touch his, clasp his hand, as he stared at the mottled face of the General. He could see the ribbons, that used to always shine, always cast off a glare to those who stared at them. Yet now, they seemed rather lack lustre, rather tarnished really, as he felt the rush of excitement inside.