Sunday is always my favorite day of the week. Today, I’ve woken up early to help Mom prepare breakfast. She’s in a kind of hurry, for my family is leaving for my aunt’s house shortly after breakfast.
As my family finish having breakfast, they pack the car and leave right away, for they are helping aunt with the preparations for the big family lunch. I wave to them and see the car disappear up the gravel road. Then, I enjoy the peace and quiet of my Sunday morning. I put some classical music on and do the dishes, clean up the kitchen, and prepare some stuff I’m taking along as we go to the waterfall.
Then, I take my diary out, open, and daydream as I caress the pages. I admire my neat handwriting, smile, and take the small dried flattened pink orchid. I read on, and smile, as I realize my words came out from my heart as I scribbled the pages.
‘Today we are going to meet again. I truly wished to see him and it happened. He was at his store, buried in work. He gave me his handsome smile. My heart was beating fast each time he looked at me or spoke my name. His kind voice echoed in my head and I couldn’t help but fall in love with him. His gentle warm touch reminded me of the hand that gave me the delicate pink orchid. I felt a great joy to be by his side then. It was a moment I cherished, being there for him. By God, I would give up everything to be his, forever. This is such a small and innocent wish. I really pray that it’s God’s plan for me to have this man in my life. That afternoon in his company was the prize I had, the fulfillment of my secret wish. As for my birthday wish, I wished to cherish his company, to conquer his pure heart, to love this man for eternity. Would I have this wish come true? Tomorrow I hope to overcome my own fears, enjoy his company, and accept his caressing hands, kisses, and hugs. In time, I hope to become his lover. Then, I want to move into his life. I think this much I can dream of. I can dream of having a boyfriend, a fiancé, and a husband for life. In the meantime, I must follow the natural course of becoming acquainted with this man. The call I gave him last night, and hearing his deep voice, made my heart leap with joy and beat fast. I was even at loss of words. But who needs words when your silence speaks for youself! At times he had to check whether I was still on the line, for I was mute and wanted to hear him speak. I wanted to enjoy my galoping heart beat fast at each cadence of his voice, which made me feel in heaven. His presence makes me smile for no reason, and to blush. He was radiant too, I could tell. He even told me he had a little birthday surprise for me. I end here, asking heavens to bless this relationship and to bless my love, which is pure and innocent, like a little flower button.’
The lines dance before my eyes as I dry a tear. I put my diary down, and think of him, of my feelings I have for this man, and why not, my own sexuality. Mom and Dad already know I’m gay. Thank God we discussed those things openly at school. Luckily, we had an anti-bullying campaign targetting homophobia. Gladly, the school offered me the tools to have a frank and open talk with my family. Of course they told me to be careful and watch. I know how to take care of myself, I think. Now, I think this is going to be harder. How are they going to react when I tell them that I’m in love with a man much older than me? Surely they’ll understand my feelings and respect my decision of accepting this man into my life. I hope this feeling will grow with time. I also feel he has an attraction for me. I really hope Manuel can be patient and let me adjust to my new condition in life.
The phone rings and I start. I pick it up, knowing it’s him. My voice falters. He speaks in a confident manner as always. I can even sense his smile as he says he’s on his way here. He asks if I need anything else. My legs almost give way and I sit at the kitchen table. I look at the clock on the wall, and realize he’s eight minutes late. I hang up the phone and thank God for allowing me those eight extra minutes to breathe, to enjoy my happy anticipation of seeing this man. At each noise, I mistake his truck approaching. I wish to compose myself, and drink a glass of water.
To keep my mind busy, I fumble with my bag, just to make sure I’ve packed everything: a towel, an extra pair of shorts, some cookies I baked, and a plastic ware with some of my leftover birthday cake for him. I check myself in the mirror for the millionth time and wish I had cut my hair yesterday. Upon reflection, I realize my hair is fine. I sit at the table and wait. Then, I feel I can hear a humming noise which turns into a loud engine noise. I take a deep breath and march to the door. The little dogs bark. I tell them to quiet down. I admire his white truck turning and manouvering to park near the house. I smile and feel one dog touching my leg. Manuel opens the door and comes out. The dogs bark at him.
“Good morning, my precious, how are you doing?” He is full smiles.
“Good morning, Manuel. I’m fine. And what about you?” He is wearing a navy blue shirt and jeans shorts. His fragrance is sweet and he is freshly shaved.
“I’m feeling much better after seeing you!” We continue hugging. “Can I get a little kiss?”
“What?”
“A little innocent kiss, my precious, please?”
“Oh, ok.” I kiss his large cheek lightly.
“There! You’ve made my day!” He helps me with my bag and we enter his truck. I notice he has cleaned it and I feel a sweet scent of roses. He is playing some love songs.
We close the doors but he doesn’t start his truck. Instead, he asks to take my hand and kisses it. He says he wishes to give me a birthday surprise by taking me to his lovely spot again and spend the day there. He says he’s going to prepare some barbecue by the waterfall and also roast some sweet potatoes by the fire. He is taking some folding chairs and a little folding table. On top of that, he guarantees it won’t rain today. He starts the truck and we head towards the waterfall.
The ride is delightful and I admire his strong hairy hands holding the steering wheel. We wave at some people by the road. Then, we cross the familiar bridge. I offer to open the wired fence, but he hears none of it. We continue our ride, entering deeper into the woods. This time however, I don’t feel afraid. Instead, I enjoy the ride. As we arrive at the clearing, Manuel starts.
“Damn it!”
“What is it, Manuel?” He shakes his head.
“I see a black truck hidden in the bushes. Can you see it?” He points at some trees and flushes.
“I suppose others have found out about this spot and wish to enjoy a swim too, Manuel.”
“No, my precious. This spot is quite hidden. And I’m sure you haven’t spoken to anybody about this place. I suppose it must be something else.” I get nervous as I hear Manuel’s tone of voice, which is paused and contained. I notice his clenched jaws. He also clenches his hands on the steering wheel, and his bull neck muscles harden.
“What do you think they’re doing here, Manuel?” He does not answer, but tells me to stay in the truck. He closes the door with a slam, and walks firmly towards the truck. Then I see him enter the trail that leads to the water.
What am I to do now? I begin to grow concerned. I think these people must be just someone like Manuel, who wishes to have a good time by the river. Besides, others can also come here. The river is public property and so is this road. I know that farmers allow visitors to enjoy fishing and swimming at the river.
A shot! God! I swear I’ve heard a shot!
My hands are shaking and I instinctively open the door. I hesitate, but end up getting off the truck and closing the door quietly. I think I hear voices coming from the trail that leads to the waterfall. My instinct tells me to seek cover. I look for a hiding spot. I find some thick bushes near our truck and hide. My heart beats fast and I am totally alert.
“Get out of my property and never come back again!” Manuel is mad and shouts. I can hardly recognize him with this rude attitude and hoarse voice.
“No need to shout, big Portuguese guy! We’re beating it!”
“You scum!” Manuel shouts and points to the road. “Get out of my property!”
“What did you call us, old faggot!” Two men try to hold a third one, who is older and taller.
“Let him be and let’s beat it, Jorge!” The big man charges against Manuel, who falls on the tall grass. I see the man punching the fallen man several times.
“This is for you to keep to your place, faggot! I bet you’ve brought another boy here to fuck, you old mother-fucker!”
“Geez, did you kill him?”
“Nope. The mother-fucker is a tough guy. He’s just passed out, the faggot!”
They climb their truck and start, driving dangerously fast on the dirt road. The truck flashes out and disappears.
“Manuel!” I try to call out his name, but my voice is too weak.
My legs seem planted to the ground. I take a deep breath and try to remain calm. I know we’re cut out from the gravel road, isolated here. I can’t panic right now. I rush towards him. “Manuel! What have they done to you?” He is lying on the grass, blood oozing out of his nose and mouth. I notice dirt marks of boots over his chest and groin.
He seems unconscious. I kneel down beside him and think of the best thing to do. I know the first thing to do is call for help. But it’s impossible to do it here! I touch his pale face and his short graying hair, trying to get a response from him.
“Ken, what happened?”
“Manuel, you’re alive! Thank God!” I kiss him.
“What happened?” He looks at me. “Why am I on the ground? Where are those bastards?” He tries to stand up but I tell him to remain still.
“Are you all right, Ken?” He looks at me. “Thank God you’re ok, my precious. Oh, now I remember what happened. Have they left, the cowards?” I nod.
“Listen, Manuel. I’ll get the first aid kit and treat you. Next, we’re heading to the hospital. Do you think you can still drive?” He wipes the blood from his nose and mouth. “Wait here. I shall be back shortly!”
“Ken, don’t leave me here, my precious!”
“I won’t take long!” I rush and open the truck and take the first-aid kit.
“Ken, I need you to stay near me, my precious!” He cries. I kneel down and clean his wounds. All the while, he strokes my face. I dry his tears and he wishes to stand up.
“Just a second, Manuel.” I open his shirt. He stares at me.
“What are you doing, my precious?”
“Checking for wounds.” I feel his hairy chest, his ribs, his firm belly. “Thank God there’s no blood, no cuts dear.” I check his shorts.
“Even there, my precious?”
“Yes, I need to check if you have any wounds.” I open his shorts, and see his light gray speedo.
“I-I’m sorry, Ken. But I think I may have wet myself.” He blushes.
“No, problem, dear. What I’m looking for is blood.” I check his crotch and thighs.
“Ouch! It hurts when you touch my genitals, my precious.”
“In this case, I’d better check them too.” He is about to protest by remains quiet. I waste no time and open the lace of his Speedos and lower it. I take his fat long wrinkled penis and large heavy testicles.
“Where does it hurt, dear?”
“The balls.” He wipes a tear.
“I see nothing wrong with them. No blood at least.” I pull his speedo up and tie his lace. “I suppose you’re ok down below, dear. Now, can you drive back? We’ve got to go to the hospital to have you checked for internal bleeding or broken bones.”
“Can you help me stand up, my precious?” I nod. I help this large man get to his feet. He feels some discomfort down his genitals, but says he’s all right. “I feel fine now. Of course I’ve passed out as those jerks attacked me. But I feel totally fine. As to them, I’m sure they won’t come back again, for they know they were invading private property.” He turns to me. “And yes, I am the owner of all this land and, I hope you forgive me for making you go through all this scare.” He wipes his tears with his big hands.
“Manuel, my dear. You don’t have to apologize for anything.” I kiss him. “You’re a decent man and only wanted to give me a good time by bringing me to your favorite spot. I’m happy to be here sharing this piece of paradise with you. And all I care right now is to see you fully restored and well.” He nods and I clean his hair and shirt from weeds.
“Ken, just give me some time and I can feel myself again.” He wipes his tears. “I can’t believe there are such evil people in the world who want to hurt others. But at the same time, there are angels, just like you, my precious.” We hug and he kisses me.
“Manuel, I’m so glad I met you too. You’re my life.” He stares at me, tears in his eyes.
“Really? You really consider me part of your life?” I nod and stroke his face.
“I-I think I love you, Manuel.” I smile and also have tears in my eyes.
“By God, I feel I’ve won the jackpot! A young man, lovely, and full of life, falling in love with an older guy like me, hairy, chubby, and a faggot.”
“But this is how I feel, Manuel. And yes, I’ve fallen for this hairy, chubby, and faggot, because I’m also a faggot and love men.” He smiles and kisses me again.
“Let’s get to the truck, my young boyfriend!” He puts his heavy arm around my shoulder. “We’ve got a lot of preparation to make if we want to eat some barbecue.” I am about to protest but he insists. “Nothing in the world will make me feel better than stay here with my boyfriend and make some barbecue.”
“You’re all I care now, Manuel.”
“You make this old man feel awkward, my precious.”
“How do you mean, awkward?”
“I mean, I feel so happy I don’t even know how to describe it. I feel so strange and renewed! I feel like a young man again, falling in love after a long time, my precious! And these things make me feel, awkward.” He smiles.
“I see,” I rub his shirt and shorts. “I wish these guys had just left without acting violently the way they did towards you.” I take his hand, with a little cut, and kiss it.
“But I would gladly go through this a million times knowing that this incident would bring us closer, my angel!”
“There you go, Manuel, saying these horrible things.” I kiss the holy image of The Virgin on my medal I carry around my neck. He turns to check it.
“It’s a lovely medal, my angel.” I feel conscious of the worn and dirty cord and the fadding yellow paint from the cheap metal.
“Thanks, Manuel. It protects me. And now it’ll protect you as well.” He smiles.
“You have an innocent pure heart my child.” I smile. We kiss lightly and I put a bandage over his little cuts. “And there you are, always patching me up. Are you sure this is what you want for life, Ken? Look at me, I know I’m not that old, at fifty, but I’m not a young boyfriend who would give you all the excitement of the world.” I smile to him.
“But I don’t want all the excitement of the world, Manuel. Besides, I-I think I love you.” He smiles.
“To hear such sweet words from an angel’s lips is heavenly,” he gives me a hug. “You’re quite young, and yet, you’re full of wisdom and courage. Well, after hearing your words, I’d better surrender to your appealing heart, my love.” We kiss awkwardly. “Well, how about unloading the truck, my big young man!” We both smile.
In spite of Manuel’s many bruises, he manages to carry our stuff to the lovely place by the waterfall. Needless to say, nothing in the world can dissuade him from cancelling this barbecue.
He washes his shorts and speedo in the river. I lend him a towel and he wraps it around his thick waist. We start the fire and the smoke blinds me momentarily. He takes me and wipes my eyes.
“Are you all right, my angel?”
“Yes, Manuel. You don’t have to worry so much about me. It was just a little smoke in my eyes.” We both laugh.
He prepares our delicious barbecue. I lay out the food and even put the little piece of my 18th birthday cake out for him.
“You remembered to bring me a piece of your cake, my precious! Thank you.” He has tears in his eyes as he tastes the cake.
Our meal is delicious and we have a great time savoring his barbecue, which he has masterfully prepared. Then, we have roasted sweet potatoes that are delicious and creamy with honey and sour cream.
“Now, it’s time for you to open your birthday presents, my angel!”
“Birthday presents?”
“My angel, do you actually think I’d have forgotten such an important date?” He hands me a little bag. I smile bashfully and tell him he shouldn’t have bothered about getting me anything. I open the present carefully, for I like to keep the lovely wrapping paper.
“Manuel, this is a pair of Speedos! A white one!” I smile.
“Yeah, my precious. It’s white for innocence and purity. I want you to wear it later! It’s a small size, so it must fit you well.” He smiles. He hands me another paper bag, which is thick and green. I marvel at the beautiful bottle.
“The scent is wonderful, Manuel! Thank you!” I’ve already heard of Calvin Klein, for my friends at school talk about it. But this is the first perfume bottle I’ve gotten as a present. At home, we only use simple cheap deodorants. Only Mom has some bottles of perfume, which I love to admire and smell.
“You deserve much more, my precious.” I hug him and thank him for all the lovely presents.
“Now, I’ve brought a hammock to make us feel more comfortable.” Manuel takes out a hammock from a leather bag. He finds some trees and ties each end to a firm branch and sits on it. “See! This is quite comfortable. Come and join me, my precious.”
“Are you sure this can hold two people?” He lies down on the hammock and I lie down on top of him. “Manuel, I’m crushing you!” I feel his large strong body under me.
“No, you’re not, my precious. I’m a tough man, and you’re very light too.” He keeps one arm behind his head. He invites me to rest my head on his hairy chest. The other arm rests on my shoulder. I snuggle into him and close my eyes.
“I hear your heart beating, Manuel.”
“It’s beating because of you, my precious.” He whispers. I notice he’s already dozing off. I kiss his chest and close my eyes.
“You’re my dream come true, my angel.” We take our lovely nap in his hammock.
One hour or so later, after our lovely nap on his hammock, I wake up. Manuel is kissing my hair and cheeks. I open my eyes and smile.
“Did you sleep well, my precious?” He smiles.
“Yes, my dear. This hammock is so comfortable that I don’t wish to leave it.” I rest my head on his warm chest.
“But you’ll have to excuse me, my precious. I need to take a leak.” He is still wearing my towel around his waist. I also notice him blushing, and it’s become clear he’s trying to conceal the front part of his crotch. But my old thin towel isn’t helping him hide much. I close my eyes and relax in the hammock, which feels great. I enjoy this warm place and hear the birds chirping. He comes back and smiles to me. He’s now in his dry gray Speedos.
“Did your Speedos dry?” He nods, always smiling to me.
“I see that you like to sleep with me, my angel.” I smile and take his hand and kiss it.
“Come and join me, Manuel.” I cannot help but admire his muscular and hairy body.
“It’s going to be my pleasure, my precious.” He joins me and I lie on top of him again.
“Aren’t you feeling any pain, for I’m on top of you, Manuel.” I kiss his chest.
“No, my angel. You don’t weigh much.” He strokes my hair and I close my eyes.
My heart beats fast and I feel a warm feeling, a new pleasurable warm feeling inside me. I feel that if he continues stroking my hair and face, I’ll be totally consumed by this amazing new feeling.
“Manuel, dear. Now it’s my turn to take a leak.” I feel his constant stare and I try to relax in order to pee. Then, I manage to do it. I turn around and he looks away, poor Manuel. I return to the hammock and we sit side by side. He strokes my face, neck, and bare arm.
“This place is so peaceful, Manuel.”
“Yes, my angel. And I’ve kept it just like it was when I inherited it from my grandfather and father.”
“This was a wise decision. And do you have a big family?”
“Yes, my angel. My parents are long dead, and I have a couple of brothers, but they all moved back to Europe, to Portugal. I’m basically on my own here, saved for a couple of older relatives that I haven’t seen in ages. Only one older aunt keeps in touch with me. She lives in São Paulo City, where I visit her once a year.”
“And have you always lived alone?” I turn to him. He nods. “And were you in love before?”
“What a curious little young man you are, my angel!” I smile. “I’m not used to talking so much about myself, being so isolated and alone. Nobody has ever asked me about all these things.” He smiles and strokes my face. “You’re opening me up like an old shut clam, my angel!” He laughs. “Now, answering to your question, yes, I was, my angel,” he looks away, “but it wasn’t meant to be.” He smiles absentmindedly. “I suppose the love I had wasn’t the kind of love you would, say, wait for your partner all day to arrive home and be together. It was just something temporary. I suppose I was never successful in the love department. After my parents died, I simply carried out the business and remained a bachelor. I and my brothers obviously split our inheritance. As they got better farming land, I bought their share. Of course, seventy percent is productive farm land, while the rest, is our little paradise on earth!”
“How crazy, my dear.” I turn to him.
“What is it?” He kisses my hair.
“I mean, the circumtances in life. We’ve just met and now we’re basically dating each other. And I wonder about our future, Manuel.” I kiss his chest.
“You’re so young and handsome and thinking about the future!” He turns to me. “I’ll tell you how I see our future, my angel. We date, tell all our friends and family about each other, and then get married. Simple as that. What do you say?” I turn to him.
“You want to marry me, Manuel?”
“Of couse I do! Do you think I’ll let you escape so easily from me?” He hugs me tightly. “I’ll never forgive myself if I ever let you go, my angel! You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. You’re giving me hope and joy. You’re turning me into a new man.”
“And who told you I want to escape from you? I’ll love to be your partner for life, Manuel.”
“And I’ll be your proud husband too!” I wipe his tears. “See how sentimental I am. To think of it, nobody has ever seen me, well, like this. Even I didn’t know I was capable of,” he smiles, “loving someone the way I am right now.” We admire the sun and feel the heat. Manuel begins to perspire and so do I. “Shall we take a swim, my precious?”
“Sure!” I stand up and decide to put on the pair of Speedos Manuel gave me. He watches me all the while. He licks his lips and smiles to me approvingly.
“Lovely!” His lower jaw drops and he licks his lips. “You look, hot, my angel! A real sight for my unbelieving eyes! You’re a god in flesh and blood!” He stretches his arm, takes my hand, and kisses it. He then pulls me gently to himself. “You came straight from heaven into my life, my idol!”
“I feel, well, almost naked, Manuel!” He hugs me and I feel the front part of his bulgy Speedos pressing against me.
“Maybe we should enter the water, what do you say?” I admire him disappear into the water. We swim in the cold water and enjoy each other’s company. He is leaning on some rocks as I join him. He spreads his arms and I hug him.
“Let’s get dry, my angel.”
“Good idea, Manuel. My lips must be blue! I’m feeling so cold!” We swim towards the bank and sit on some warm rocks. He sits behind me, legs spread apart and I sit in front of him, feeling his legs around me. He embraces me and I feel his warm protective body. We dry and admire the lovely view quietly. In the meantime, he gently gives little kisses to my neck, shoulders, and arms. After we get warm again, I have an idea.
“Manuel, you said you like fishing, didn’t you?” He smiles and kisses my hand.
“Of course I do! Why? Do you want to fish now?” I nod. “In this case, we’ve got to make our fishing rods.” We swim to the other bank, take a machette, and hunt for a thin flexible straight tree branch. He finds two and prepares our rods.
“Manuel, they look fine!”
“Yes, now, I always keep fishing lines and hooks in a small box in my toolbox.” He puts on his sandals and goes back to the truck. I start hunting for worms and dig with his machette. I find a few and put them in a plastic cup.
“There you go, my precious.” Manuel cuts the lines, fits the bobbers, ties the sinkers and hooks.
“I’m so excited, Manuel. Let’s see who can catch a fish first!”
“It’s probably going to be you, for you’re always fishing.” He takes a bucket and fills it with a bit of water.
“Let’s go that way, Manuel. The water is still and I think there’s more fish there.” We walk down the river and sit on some rocks. I throw the line and wait. Manuel does the same.
“Whoever loses this competition cleans the fish!” He smiles as he catches a ‘lambari’ fish, which is a small-sized fish, but delicious to eat deep-fried.
“You got it first, Manuel!” He is proud and puts the fish in the bucket.
“Oh, you got one too, my precious!” We go on catching several fish, and some ‘lambaris’ are quite big too, about ten cm. long.
“Now, all we’ve got to do is clean and deep-fry them. They’re going to be delicious with a nice pot of hot coffee!” Manuel is already tending our fire. He puts some oil in the pan, while I take another pot and boil water for our coffee.
“Manuel, you thought of everything!” He’s got all our supplies in an improvised toolbox.
“That’s me, my precious. I used to spend much time in nature and setting up camp. I’ve learned to bring only the necessary stuff and prepare things myself in a practical way. But, truth be said, my angel, it’s so much better doing it when you have company. Especially with my handsome young boyfriend.” He kisses me.
“Watch for the hot oil, dear. It’s going to splatter.” He puts the fish, which is coated in flour, in the hot oil. Then, he puts a lid on. “I can already smell them. They smell great!” My water is hot and I add the coffee powder and stir. Then, pour it in the filter made of cloth directly into a metal jug, then into the thermos to keep it hot. He looks at me and smiles.
“I can see you’ve got many culinary talents, my angel. I wonder what else you have in store for me.” I smile.
“I sure enjoy cooking. I have a small collection of cookbooks. Mom taught me much and I also like following her in her rounds selling produce. This is how I know how to handle money and servicing clients.” He smiles.
“You’re a very talented young man, my angel. And I’m sure life has much in store for you. Well, anyway, the first batch is done, my precious. Would you like to try one?” He hands me a piece. “Watch because it’s hot!”
“Lovely! It’s so delicious and crunchy!”
“And your coffee is perfect! I love it strong and with little sugar.” He fries all the fish and we find a cool spot near the river. We eat the fish and drink hot coffee. “Nothing beats fresh fish caught from the river and into the pan!”
“This is a treat.” Manuel takes a piece and feeds me. I smile and take it. I also do the same. He puts his large heavy arm around my shoulder and we sip our coffee smiling and telling each other stories like kids.
As we finish our feast, we let the fire die. Then, as the pans and pots are cooling off, we decide to do some exploring.
“My angel, how about shooting some photos?”
“Great idea, Manuel! Did you bring your camera?”
“Yes, I’ll ask you to pick it up from the truck. I left it on the driver’s seat.” We kiss and I rush to his truck. I notice him taking a leak again.
As I reach the truck, I find a nice gift box in a lovely red wrapping paper on the driver’s seat. I take it and cannot believe the surprise. I hold it and hear Manuel coming up to join me.
“Open it up, my precious!” I turn around and Manuel is smiling.
“What is it, Manuel?” I open carefully, not to tear the wrapping. “But Manuel! I-I can’t believe it! It’s a Sony digital camera!” I cry and kiss him.
“You shouldn’t cry, my angel.” He dries my tears and kisses me. “Now, you can take as many photos of me as you want! What do you say to that?” He poses for me in his Speedos, always smiling. I smile too.
“Manuel, you shouldn’t have bought it! A camera like this one is very expensive! I can’t have it!”
“Please, my angel. I want you to have it.”
“I don’t know what to say, Manuel. My parents wouldn’t approve of that.” He smiles.
“I know what you’re thinking, my angel. But consider this as just a small token of our friendship. And believe me, my angel, what you’ve already given me is much more valuable than everything I own. Absolutely nothing I own can come close to it.” I hug him and we kiss.
“But Manuel, what is it that I’ve given you that is so precious?” He smiles.
“You gave me a new life, my angel. You gave me hope to dream, to make plans, to look forward to a bright new future with an angel! Do you think this can be purchased?” We kiss.
“All right. I’ll accept your gift then.” I smile. “I’ve always wanted a camera. Thank you, Manuel!” We hug and kiss again.
“You’ll be able to shoot photos, and to film as well, my precious.” I nod. “You can use it to take photos of me, of us together, my angel.”
“Thank you, Manuel. I really loved this gift.” I take it out and examine the modern equipment. Digital cameras are now substituting the ones that use film. This one I am holding is quite expensive, for I’ve always wanted to buy one. I put the batteries and the SD card in. As I turn it on, I do the setting, and feel ready to shoot some photos.
Needless to say, Manuel loves to pose for me. He sits on some rocks, lies down on the hammock, and flexes his big muscles. He also takes some photos of me. Then, he takes some selfies as well.
We look at the photos and laugh as Manuel is more than ready to pose for some more photos. He also lies down on the rock and spread eagle for my lenses. I shoot photo after photo of him and admire my idol. He enters the water and I continue shooting photos of him. He floats on the water, smiles, and makes faces.
“This is the best present I’ve ever got, Manuel!” We hug and kiss.
“Just to see you smiling is worth more than all I own, my angel! I feel so glad that you’re enjoying yourself with me, my precious.” We sit on some rocks and relax.
“Manuel, I want to ask you to not buy me anything more. Just being with you is more than I could wish for. I like being here, enjoying this Sunday afternoon with you.”
“You’re so innocent and cute, my angel. You’ve got no idea how much pleasure it gives me to share all that I own with you.” He takes my hand and kisses it. “Yes, I like to see you smiling. Ok, I promise, my angel. I won’t buy anything to you. But you have to promise to not get mad if I,” he smiles, “sometimes give you a small treat or a trinket.”
“All right, Manuel. You know I would never get mad at you.” I smile and lean against him. He kisses my shoulders, neck, and cheeks. I turn to him and smile.
“What is it, my precious? Are you going to tell me to stop thinking about what I should buy you the next time we meet?” I stand up and tell him to stay where he is.
“No honey, it’s not that. What I’m going to do is to give you a massage, Manuel. It’s a simple massage I usually give to Mom and Dad when they’re feeling sore. I know you work a lot and feel much stress.”
“Oh, dear God! You’re going to give me a massage! Oh, Lord! I must be dreaming!”
“Manuel, you’re not dreaming. I just feel like retributing to all your kindness. Just be still and relax.” I gently touch his head and feel his scalp. I massage him gently and make circular movements.
“This feels amazing, my precious. What delicate hands you have!” He moans as I go around his skull and temples. I gently prick his ears, massaging them gently.
“I feel so good, my angel!” I move down to his strong hairy neck.
“Your neck area and shoulders are quite stiff and tense, dear.” I feel I need to use more pressure here, and even use my elbow.
“My angel, yes! Don’t stop it! It’s just wonderful!” I press hard and also use the knuckles of my fingers and rub hard, just like I do to Dad. “You can be rough with me, my angel. I can take it. Ouch!” He groans.
“Sorry, Manuel. I’ll be gentler the next time.” I kiss his burning cheek.
“I like that, my angel.” I continue massaging his hairy muscular shoulder and admire his big arm.
“You’re so big, Manuel!” He chuckles.
“I’m a big beast, but right now I feel more like a tame little puppy under your care, my angel.” I feel his shoulder blade and massage around it.
My hand slides to his hairy back, shoulder blades again, love handles, and back to his armpits. I massage each muscular hairy arm, biceps, elbow, forearm, large hairy hands, and palms. I can hardly believe how many calluses he has on his palms, just like us farmers. I move in front of him and tell him to close his eyes and relax. I massage his large tanned forehead, his big warm cheeks, square solid jaw, double chin. He smiles.
“I’m expecting your kisses, my angel!” I kiss him. “That’s much better! Can I have one more, please?” I give him two kisses. I move to his large robust hairy chest with his bulgy pecs.
“Dear, you’re a very strong man!”
“Like I said, my angel. With your gentle hands touching and massaging me, I feel more like a little puppy that craves love.”
The pressure I use is very strong and I feel his large stomach, love handles, hips, and muscular solid hairy thighs. I move down to his solid knees, strong shins, muscular calves, and his large hairy feet. He groans as I massage his soles.
“So, how did you like my massage?” He lies flat on the rock and smiles.
“It was heavenly, my angel. I feel like lying down here and sleeping again. Your massage was very relaxing, my precious.” He opens his eyes and smiles. I kiss him.
“And how about retributing?” I smile and sit on the same flat rock.
“Do you mean to say you’ll let me touch your smooth slender heavenly body? I mean, massage you, my angel?” He blushes. I nod. “But, well, I’ll try to be very gentle. My hands are big and I don’t want to break you, my precious.”
“Don’t worry, Manuel. I trust you.” He sits behind me and I notice his large legs straddling me.
He begins by massaging my head very gently. I feel his large rough hands and fingers caressing my hair, ears, and scalp.
“This feels so good, Manuel. You’re doing a great job.” I’m in ecstasy, feeling his big rough callused warm hands touching my skin. I feel a huge flame burning inside me as he breathes close to me. At times, he’d moan and lick his lips.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying my massage, my precious.” His raspy rough voice is a delight to my ears. I feel his deep breathing and body heat near me. He moves to my neck and does a great massage. He then pauses. I notice him shifting, moving a little bit farther away from me, and clearing his throat. I smile and say nothing. His voice is tense and paused. I can tell he’s striving to remain calm as he feels my smooth back.
“Your body is so smooth, perfect, and delicate, my precious.” I feel his lips on my back.
“You’re kissing me, Manuel. You’re supposed to be giving me a massage!” I protest and smile to myself.
“I-I’m sorry, my precious.” He moves again away from me. “D-do you mind if I take another leak. I need to pee, my precious.” He moves away and I admire the view, the river, and the foamy water. Then, he comes back, smiling. “Did I take long?” He resumes his massage.
“Now you can massage the front part too, my dear.”
“D-do you want me to massage the front part too, my precious?” I close my eyes and nod.
“Yes, Manuel. I want you to give me a gentle massage to my face, chest, and legs, please.”
“O-of course, my precious.” He moves in front of me, spreads his legs, and squats. Then he gets on his strong knees.
He kisses me again, and I tell him to continue with his massage. He is so close that I can feel his body heat, fast breathing, and moans as he caresses and massages my head, face, and neck. I feel his thick body hair rubbing against me, which sends shivers down my spine. Then, he moves to my chest, belly, hips, thighs, knees, shins, calves, and feet.
“Manuel, you’re kissing my feet!” I pull them back for I’m ticklish.
“I-I’m sorry, my precious. I couldn’t resist your angelic feet!” He covers the front of his Speedos with his big hand.
“It’s ok, Manuel. How about taking our last swim for the day?” I race to the river. Manuel follows me, still covering his private parts.
“How did you like my massage, my precious?” He leans against a large rock wall, arms spread eagled. I hug him and lean my head onto his hairy chest.
“It was lovely, Manuel.” He remains serious.
“My precious, can I, I mean, can I ask you something. But you must promise you won’t, get wrong ideas about me, all right? I’m serious now.” He clears his throat.
“Yes, what is it?” He takes my hand and kisses it. He closes his eyes.
“Can I touch, with all due respect of course, touch you, down below?” I kiss his mouth.
“Maybe some other time, Manuel. The water is quite cold. And this place is too open.”
“But will you let me do it, say if we were in a more, secluded place? Please?”
“When the right time comes, Manuel, I’ll be all yours.” I kiss his hand. He opens a wide smile and nods.
“All right, my precious. I’ll wait for this moment. And, well, I must say I’m suffering much, for I am a man and have my needs and urges as a man. I’m sure you must have noticed my, physical struggles.” He massages the front of his bulgy Speedos.
“I have, Manuel, and I do respect you for your noble attitude of not forcing me to do things. You’re being a true gentleman and making me feel at ease. And I do appreciate that.” He smiles and hugs me tightly.
“Thank you, my angel! You can’t imagine how much you mean to me. And I won’t do anything to spoil our friendship.” He strokes my wet hair.
“And you’re my life, Manuel.”
“And every time I hear you speak my name, I feel my heart beating faster, and a tingle, well, down below my, manhood. This is how much I love you, my precious.”
“I promise you, Manuel, when the right time comes, I want you to be my lover, the man I want to share my bed and have sex with. I hope you understand.” He nods. “Let’s race to the other bank and see who arrives first?” He smiles. I swim fast and don’t wait for him.
“I won!” I cheer. He kisses me.
“Of course you won, my precious. You always win!”
We dry off and get dressed. I notice Manuel staring at me as I take off my Speedos and put on my clothes. I look at him doing the same. He is surely strong, hairy, and manly in all physical aspects. He smiles and puts on his clothes fast too. Then, we pack our stuff and clean up our mess. We head towards his truck and he loads some palm hearts that are tied in a bundle.
“This is what they were stealing from my land, my precious.”
“They were taking palm hearts! So, they must have cut some very old palm trees then.”
“Yeah, I know a lot of people who come here to do it illegally. But this time I caught them. And you saw what they did to me.” He pulls me to himself. “Thank God you were here, to save and take care of me.” He has tears in his eyes. “You’re always rescuing me, my precious.”
“And what are you going to do about these people, Manuel?”
“I suppose I can do almost nothing, my angel. But at least I’ll report the attack to the police. In any case, I’m sure they won’t come back here for a while.”
“Manuel, whatever happens, I want you to tell me everything, all right?” I hold his arms and look into his eyes.
“Of course, my precious. How can I hide anything from a smart lovely boyfriend like you!” He starts the truck and we head back home.
While on the road, I tell him I can give a hand at unloading his truck and washing his pans. He says it’s not necessary to wash the pans, for Mariana can do it--she is his housekeeper.
“In any case, my angel, I’m so excited to take you to my place. I hope you like it. It’s not a castle. It’s old, but comfortable.”
We cross the little town and I see some people on the square playing cards. We pass the hospital and reach the end of the street. He presses his automatic garage door and it discloses a large ancestral house with high arched windows and ivy-covered stone walls. I have already heard about this place, being one of the first large houses built in town. It also has much space in the back. I heard these big old houses are quite costly to maintain, so other similar buildings have been converted into restaurants or even shops.
Anyway, I remember having passed a couple of times by this house. Yet, I never paid much attention to it. It stands partly hidden by these tall concrete walls and tall tree tops. One can only see part of the second floor and the shingles on the roof. Now I am going to see its interior.
We pass his tall automatic iron gate and enter the most lovely garden I’ve ever seen. I hear the rusty sound of the gate closing behind us. Manuel speaks in an apologetic way about his old house. Modesty, I suppose. He says that his grandpa built it himself, like most people in the past. I look around and imagine how many men undertook to build it. I feel his heavy large hand on my shoulder. I look at him and suggest we unload his truck. He says of course, as if waking up from a transe. I take a plastic crate with pots and pans and follow him to the door leading to the most beautiful and large kitchen I have ever seen.
“What a beautiful wood-burnig stone, Manuel!” The entire stove is made of polished dark red stone and the iron top is squeaky clean.
Then, I admire his wide stone counter and the large and wide sinks. An exhuberant flower vase full of roses ornates and gives life to this quiet, ancient room. The delicate fresh flowers must have come from his garden. The large table, which is made of solid mahogany, is partially covered with a champagne color table cloth that is embroidered and ornated with delicate lace. The chairs are made of solid wood and have lovely cushions tied to them. I admire the light marble floor. I also notice many copper utensils and pots of all sizes hanging from a solid iron rack. The walls are covered with small blue and white tiles that form scenes from a hunting party, while others of distant villages, and peasants with their masters. I smell of cinammon, baked goods, vanilla, cured meat, and spices in the still air.
“Ken, my angel. Do you like my kitchen?” He crosses his arms over his chest proudly.
“It’s just beautiful, Manuel. I feel like traveling to a distant land just being here.” I recall vividly the scenes from such places in history books at the school library. They were palaces, mansions, and great manor houses of historic men. Also, I got such descriptions from my constant reading of Alexandre Herculano, José de Alencar, and other romantic Brazilian and Portuguese writers. Yes, I feel more like being in a book or in a fairy tale than in Cafelândia do Oeste.
I turn around and look at the large windows, with solid iron frames and notice how impecably clean the large glass panes are. I also notice a large cabinet with fine old china, porcelain of different colors and patterns, and much gold ornaments. I see a large fridge, a modern 8-burner stove. I notice a discreet door, probably leading to the pantry room. He takes my hand--breaking my transe--and says he’s going to give me a tour of the house.
“You wait until you see the other rooms, my angel.” He says proudly. I walk as if in the middle of a dream. Wasn’t I just in my little town? Now I feel like being inside a private castle! Am I treading on solid ground? I feel in awe as we enter a large sumptuous room.
“This is the dining room.” I touch the large polished mahoganny table and the dashboard just to make sure they are real. They sparkle as I approach them. I feel the fine polished wood and spotless polished glass. I find not a single mark or scratch on them. I look at the large crystal vase filled with roses at the center of the table. There must be at least three dozens of them in a lovely bouquet. I touch the delicate embroidered center table cloth, the soft upholtered chairs with flower ornaments engraved in solid wood. I gasp as I see a large cabinet with delicate doors encasing a rich array of silver, china, crystal glasses of all sizes and shapes, tea pots made of the finest porcelain, saucers with delicate flower patterns, small silver and gold spoons. The whole piece of furniture looks something like a display in a china store.
I turn to Manuel and he smiles proudly of his ancestral house. We move to a much bigger room filled with large sofas, wooden furniture, a piano, a fire place, curtains hanging from top to bottom near the floor, paintings on the wall, a large carpet, a chandelier, an enormous bookcase, two large vases that are as tall as a person.
“There is another room by the main door. It’s my office, where I spend a lot of my time working at home.”
Then, I look up to the high ceiling and admire the white stucco and geometric detail and patterns. He takes my hand and leads me to the large wooden staircase.
“But Manuel, I thought this was it! There are more rooms in this house?” He chuckles.
“Of course there are, my little angel. This is a two-storey house. Where do you suppose I sleep or take a shower?”
We walk along the hall and I notice the large door frame for the main door of the house, and the most beautiful and enchanting clock. He says his grandfather managed to bring it from Portugal and assembled it here. I admire the carved polished oak and the details in gold of the metallic parts and the large pendullum.
“Can I walk upstairs, Manuel?”
“Of course, my angel! You’re my guest!” I hesitate and climb slowly up the stairs. I feel like an intruder into this world of money, tradition, and splendor. I certainly feel I don’t belong here. Yet, Manuel is being so kind to show me his house and its treasures.
“Manuel, you have so many paintings and portraits on the wall!” I examine the paintings and black-and-white portraits of family members in lovely gold, silver, and wooden frames that are delicate, intricate, and ornated. They must have come from Europe. The wooden floorboards are made of solid polished and shiny wood. They shine and sparkle with the faintest light. When we reach the upper floor, I am in awe as I see the vast hall filled with portraits, delicate wooden furniture, even upholstered chairs. I count five little chandeliers with hanging delicate crystal pendants.
“This house is so big, Manuel. How many bedrooms does it have?”
“There are four bedrooms upstairs, my precious. The suite, where I sleep, and three guest bedrooms. There is a large bathroom in my room and another large one at the end of the hall.” I notice some of the frames on the wall portraying black-and-white photographs of soturn people in formal clothes and dresses. I admire some paintings of castles and mansions, probably scenes from Portugal, for the architecture of the city looks colonial.
He shows me each guest bedroom which are richly furnished. I admire each detail of velvet, gold, lace, porcelain, paintings, alabaster statuettes, elaborate details on the roof, door knobs, carpets. I dare rub a finger on the furniture. Not a speck of dust on the polished surface. Everything is polished and well-kept. The beds are made of solid wood, and so are the rest of the furniture.
At the end of the hall he says it’s his master bedroom. He insists I see it. He opens the large door and again, discloses much luxury and good taste.
The king-sized bed is comfortable and made of solid wood with high posts. I look up and notice the beautiful chandelier. The windows are large and hidden by much thick curtains. I find a round glass table with chairs, and a lamp. I notice a gold pen and papers by a few solid silver portraits of a lady and her family. I turn and notice his immense closet, a large full-bodied mirror, another standing mirror, and the door leading to his private bathroom.
“You have a bathtub, Manuel! How lovely!” The bathroom is very light. I notice above the high ceiling with tall and arched big windows, which allow natural light in. The marble sink is smooth and the silver tray holds his white hand towels folded carefully on top of the other. I can almost see my own reflection on the silver faucets. The immense silver framed mirror must weight a ton. The shower box is large and the handles are golden. Finally, I notice the toilet bowl and a small closet for towels. I return to his bedroom and look out the window and admire his backyard.
“You’ve got a swimming pool too, Manuel!” He puts a hand on my shoulder and we look out together.
“It’s not a big swimming pool. But it’s quite nice to have a dive when it’s too hot and when I feel like doing my laps.” I notice he has tall trees around his property as well as tall walls, like a fortress. “Do you want to see the backyard?” He takes my hand and we go back downstairs. We return to the kitchen and he opens a large back door.
“Look at your lawn, Manuel! And the flowers!” He invites me to sit by the pool chair.
“This is the place I sit and read when I’m by myself, my precious.” I admire the roses, marigolds, impatients, ferns, orchids, and many other plants in full bloom. “I have almost everything I need in this place.”
“So, it’s no wonder you barely go out, for you have this paradise to enjoy. What else could you possibly need?” I look around his large house, his lovely yard, his pool, his vegetable garden, and the lush flowers.
“I need you, my precious!”
“Me? But, Manuel, you already have my heart.”
“In this case, I wish you to move in here with me and take your place by my side, my precious.” He kneels down and kisses my hand.
“I’d love to, Manuel. But, please, stop kissing my hand. Please, Manuel, stand up. Sit here, beside me.”
“I’ll do whatever you tell me to do, but, say you accept my invitation, please my angel!” I smile and kiss his large hand.
“Manuel, this is happening too fast for me. I feel dizzy and can hardly believe I’m standing on solid ground. I think I must be dreaming.”
“You don’t want to live here with me, my precious?” I smile to him.
“Of course I’d love to live here, to be yours forever, Manuel. But, it’s just that, you barely know me. You don’t know if I’m a consistent young man. How can you take someone like me to your house after just our brief meetings? What if I don’t meet your expectations, Manuel? How can I live here surrounded by all these wonderful things, if I’m just a plain country boy? Besides, I could pretend to love you just because of your house, your farm, and your riches. I feel I don’t belong here, Manuel. It’s way too much for me. I would never forgive myself if you ever doubted my true feelings I have for you, Manuel.”
“I’m making this offer to you because I’ve come to realize you’re someone special. Don’t you think I have eyes for what is special and extraordinary? I’m a savvy and experienced man. Well, somehow, the moment I saw you for the first time, I felt I’d known you already, my precious. It’s like you’ve always been part of an ancient family. You have this inborn duty to tradition, to honor your partner, to give your heart fully to your partner. Besides, you’re so handsome and have a sexy slim body, just like an angel sculpted from the purest alabaster. And what a fine sculpted body you have, my precious! This is why I am madly in love with you.” I stand up.
“You’re so poetical, Manuel.” I walk near the pool, admiring our reflection in the smooth surface. The water is so clear and still that I can see the bottom. I must think clearly. I feel I cannot yet make up my mind as to what to do with my life, after all, I’m still a child.
“You make me a poet, my precious. The moment I saw you the first time at the church bazaar, I could not take you out of my mind. I became your slave, a slave to passion for you. I paid attention to every delicate movement, your kind speech, your smile, your look of wonder. How can I not fall in love with an angel, a simple mortal like me, a brute? And is it wrong of me to dare to dream, to wish to possess such a lovely creature like you, so rare and unatainable, my precious?” He kisses my hand.
“But when you saw me at the bazaar, you barely knew me, Manuel. I was a total stranger to you.”
“But I knew your family, your grandfather.” I turn to him and smile. “Then, when I saw you, a young man, intelligent, independent, and full of life, I became certain that you were the right young man for me.”
“You sure do seem very certain about things, Manuel.” I smile. “And I, well, I feel so happy and attracted to you. What can I possibly say more?”
“Say yes! That you accept to be mine! That you accept me as your soulmate! You’ll make me the happiest man in the world.”
“In this case I do!” My lips move and speak without my mind being aware of the meaning and weight of my words. Instead, my weak mind remains numbed by all the events that have taken place today, his display of affection, and this world of luxury and splendor. We hug and kiss. He takes a yellow orchid and hands it to me. I pick it up and smile. He smiles and wipes my tear. We remain silent. His eyes sparkle love, admiration, and desire for me. I look down and turn to him again. We communicate in silence, in our innocent looks. I turn around and admire the color of the sky turning orange and dark red. I take his hand and walk to the back of his yard. I never cease to admire the flowers, the bushes, the stone statues, and behind us, his ancestral house. I feel the presence and air of his ancestors imprinted in every article I touch in this place. It is as if I could feel their presence and also their welcoming acceptance in their midst.
We enter the house and he serves me tea and cookies. I hear the ticking of the large clock, the creaking of floorboards, and the fine porcelain, as I put back my cup on the delicate saucer.
“I wish you could stay here with me, my precious.” He smiles and eats a cookie. “As you see, I live all by myself in this house.”
“I’ll speak with my family first, Manuel. I want to hear their opinion on the matter. Honestly, Manuel, my heart says I’m all yours, but my mind, well, it’s asking me for some more time. I need time to process everything that is going on in my life. Give me more time. This way we’ll get to know each other better.”
“Of course, my precious. You’re wise and ponderous. And I, so impulsive and juvenile. I guess this is the love you’re making blossom in my heart.” His face is beaming with joy and pride.
“Now, I’d better be going. It was a hard day for both of us. You need to rest and, please, Manuel, go and see a doctor tomorrow about your wounds.” He nods.
“I’ll take you home, my precious.” During our ride to Dad’s farm, I feel much calmer. This time he doesn’t turn on the radio. Instead, we talk about our plans for the coming week. He says he’ll make all sorts of preparation for my moving into his house. We arrive and I see my family car in the garage.
“I’ll be very happy if you met my folks, dear.” I take his hand and together, meet Mom and Dad. They smile and welcome Manuel to the family. My little brother smiles and hugs him. Manuel takes him in his strong arms and lifts him up in the air.
Dad brings an extra chair to the verandah and talks to him. In the meantime, I talk to Mom. She tells me about the event at aunt’s house, but I am too distracted and absent-minded to hear her. My little brother sits by Manuel and listens to him attentively. Manuel tells many fishing stories that my little brother loves to hear. We prepare a light dinner and Dad invites Manuel to our table. He gladly accepts and sits beside me. My little brother wishes to sit next to him, but Mom says I should sit there. I look down and gulp. Manuel is full smiles and enjoys dinner. My family feels at ease having Manuel around, and I feel proud and happy for him.
We tell them about our day at the waterfall and I omit the incident with the poachers. Dad then remembers the old farm that now belongs to Manuel. A fine land, quite sizeable and worth a fortune, he says. I also tell them Manuel was very kind to show me his house.
After our dinner, my little brother decides to watch TV. Manuel and I sit across from Mom and Dad. He takes my hand and kisses it. He turns to my parents and asks for their permission to date me. I gulp and blush terribly. I turn to them, without uttering a word. They don’t seem to be taken by surprise. Instead, they smile and accept his request. I sigh in relief. Manuel is all smiles and even sheds a tear. I kiss him and we all embrace. My little brother joins us and we all hug. Later Manuel says he has to go. I walk him to the door.
“I was almost forgetting, my angel!” He goes to the back of his truck and takes several large palm hearts and hands them to me.
“Manuel, they’re too much for my family.”
“I want you to have them, my angel.” Mom and Dad are surprised by this precious gift. He turns to me.
“Ken, my precious. You’re making me the happiest man in the world. Please, think about what I’ve proposed to you, and please, think of how much I need you in my life. Give this old man a chance to prove that he is worthy of your love.” We kiss.
“You’ve already taken the first step, honey. You’ve won my heart and welcomed my family into your life. Now, only time will tell. And take care of yourself, my love.”
“I’ll give you a call tomorrow as soon as I see the doctor. Goodbye, my precious!” He enters his truck and disappears into the night. I wave and join my family in the kitchen. I feel their gazes at me.
“Who would have guessed that Manuel of all people would ask permission to be your boyfriend, son.” Mom smiles while checking the palm heart cylinders laid on the table.
“He says he’s been thinking about me since the church bazaar, when we met.” I smile. Dad hands me back my Sony camera. Mom is surprised to see the imported perfume bottle.
“And he’s already giving you all these expensive gifts.” Mom says.
“Of course I refused them, but he insisted I keep them, Mom and Dad.”
“Well, he surely likes you, son.” I nod to Dad.
“And has he made any promises to you, Ken?”
“Well, after our truck ride, I told him I would help him unload the truck at his place. This was the least I could do for all that he’s given me. He said he wanted to show me his house. Then, as I stepped into his kitchen, I was surprised to see what a big kitchen he had. He said his grandfather built the house. As I was in awe with the beautiful kitchen, he decided to show me the rest of his immense and luxurious house.”
“And is it beautiful, son?” Mom asks.
“Yes, Mom and Dad. I’ve never entered such a lovely house. I’ve only seen them in soap operas, movies, and history books.”
“Well, at least Manuel is a decent man and has come clean before us. He told us about his intent and was accepted into our family. Besides, he is quite liked by everyone in town. I know he’s quite hardworking and I should say he’s also a bit eccentric though. He is quite drawn to himself and almost anti-social, but never rude. I guess he’s like those public figures you get used to seeing around, but never get to know them fully. In any case, now we know he is interested in our son.” Dad speaks to Mom.
“The photos you’ve taken are quite nice, Ken.” Mom says. “This place looks like paradise.” She does not say anything when she sees the other photos, but makes a general remark. “You’re brave, swimming in the cold water.”
“It is a paradise, indeed. Something out of a fairy tale.”
“And what about those lovely palm hearts he’s given us. The pickled ones you buy at the store are very expensive. And they’re actually illegal to cut down.” Mom says, admiring the large fresh palm hearts.
“Well, Manuel found those in his property. They were probably cut by some poachers.” Here I feel a relief, for I’m not lying to them. “They must have heard his truck approaching and taken to their heels.”
“In this case, you’d better watch when you go there next time, son.” Mom says.
“Of course, Mom. Manuel will surely watch for that.”
“Manuel seems to be so much in love with you, Ken. I wonder what his true intentions are.” Mom says.
“Oh, I believe he is in love with me. He’s already said so. He even went as far as inviting me to move in with him into his big house.” Both Dad and Mom look at me in surprise.
“Did he really ask you that, son?” Dad asks.
“I also couldn’t believe my ears at first, Dad. I told him it was too early for that, for we hardly knew each other.”
“You’re right, my dear. You hardly know each other.” Mom says, turning to Dad.
“Well, you barely know this man. Of course he’s a known person in town. He’s also honest and honorable. I wonder what is making him act like this.” Dad says.
“He says it’s love, Dad. In any case, are you against it?” I ask. I wonder what’s taken over me. They remain silent, and look at each other. “I told him I would love to live with him, but would have to talk to you both first, to get your permission.” My heart is pounding in my chest. My hands are cold and shaking.
“Did you say that to him?” Dad asks. I nod. “But did he force you to move into this big house?” I shake my head.
“Dad, Mom, I feel I love this man. But I hardly know how to go about it. This is why I told him I would ask you both first.” They nod.
“You were right to proceed this way, son.” Dad says. “Well, tell us, in all honesty, how do you feel about this man?”
“Dad, I feel attracted to him and surely wish to live with him. But if you forbid me, I will tell him I can’t move in with him.”
“We feel the same way too, dear.” Mom smiles.
“Son, your mother and I, differently from most parents, will not interfere between you and Manuel.” Mom turns to Dad, surely surprised by his opinon on the matter. “We’ll leave this decision up to you to make. You’re a grown up boy and independent. Besides, we know you wouldn’t make any harsh decisions that would bring shame to the family. If you say you don’t want to live with him, we’ll respect your feelings. Then, I can talk to him myself. But if you say you wish to move in with him tomorrow, we’ll gladly give you our blessing.” Mom turns to Dad, in surprise. “I suggest you think about it, son. It’s your future you have to think of.” Dad smiles. “And when you’ve made up your mind, just let us know. We’ll respect your decision.” He says. My knees are nearly giving up on me. I smile and hug them.
“Thanks, Mom and Dad. I really needed to get it off my chest. Now I feel better. And please, forgive Manuel if he acted harshly. The poor man, he was thinking about us, about our happiness, but ended up forgetting that we have others to consider too. Poor Manuel, he has almost no one in the world and has to fetch for himself. I’m sure if he had his folks around, he’d seek their counsel too.” I add.
“Well, he was here, wasn’t he? About your plan of moving into his house, it’s entirely up to you, son.”
“Thanks, Dad and Mom. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll take a shower.”
As I reach the bathroom, I can hardly recall how I ended up here. I just feel the cold water as I shower. I can’t stop thinking of today’s events. What a lovely Sunday I’ve had. What is more, he came here and spoke to Mom and Dad. So, he must be real. It’s not a dream after all. I dry off, get dressed, and head to my bedroom. From the top of my old little dresser, I take my faithful diary. I must confide my secret thoughts to the blank pages right away. I must confide all the confusing feelings I’m experiencing at the moment. I musn’t omit a single detail. Oh, if only this diary could counsel me in this hour. If only this diary could hear my confession and help me make my decision. Of course I want to move in with this man. But, is he the right man for me?
‘Oh, God! Manuel has just confirmed that he wants me to be his, to move into his big house. I feel confused, for I have no experience in life. I love him with all my heart and wish to make him the happiest man in the world. But, are we doing the right thing? Does he know enough about me to open the door of his house to a stranger, the way he did today? And, what about him? I hardly know anything about this sweet and noble man. He says he wishes to make love to me, to spend intimate time with me, and make me join him in bed. But, I am innocent. All I know about sex comes from books, movies, and talks. I have my yearnings and desires too. But, having sex with another man is something new to me. He will have to be patient and wait for my time, the right time for me to accept his caresses and sexual advances. Oh, dear me! How will I learn how to express my sexuality fully to this man? Will he be so kind and patient to teach me this art? And what is more importantly, do I know the weight of my words, when I say to this gentleman that I love him? Does love only mean an attraction, an infatuation, a moment of intimacy? What if these feelings dissipate, and we’re left with disappointment? Is this how one is supposed to feel when in love? Am I being a lier when I say openly, ‘I love you, Manuel’? I sure feel confused.’
In my quiet bedroom, in my bed, I close my diary. I feel happy and complete, and yet, confused and afraid of the future. I hear Mom and Dad watching TV in the living room. I smile to myself and admire his yellow orchid. I’m going to press it against the pages of my diary to keep it as a souvenir from him. I also admire the lovely shiny wrapping paper, my new camera, the perfume bottle. I sense my life is now fulfilled with this man who is offering me the world. I close my eyes and murmur his name.
Good night, Manuel, my love.
I close my eyes and hear the crickets outside. An owl calls and at the distance, his mate answers. I yawn and fall asleep.
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